Jane the Virgin (2014) s05e13 Episode Script
Chapter Ninety-Four
1 NARRATOR: Welcome back, friends.
Let me catch you up.
Jane was trying to move on from Rafael.
And Petra was trying to move on from J.
R.
Luckily, they had each other to lean on.
But then this happened.
- What is it? - I love you.
Yes, friends.
Jane and Rafael finally got back together.
So it looks like Petra has to do the single lady thing on her own.
But at least she got one of her exes back.
That's right, her old assistant Krishna.
And I want a lunch hour every day.
Every day? Oh, it's a deal.
NARRATOR: And she could use all the help she could get because her ex-husband Milos was threatening to sell the Marbella out from under her unless Petra lied about him under oath.
So she was forced to make a decision.
My lawyers can't stop Milos from selling the hotel.
Well, you've found ways around that kind of thing before, right? Yes, but that would involve lying, and I can't do that anymore.
NARRATOR: That's right, she told Milos no.
KRISHNA: Petra won't perjure herself.
- Only problem - But I will.
I know! Straight out of a telenovela.
Which brings me to Rogelio.
See, his telenovela, This Is Mars, was finally blasting off.
Because I'm half-human, half-Martian.
I've started to evolve.
Didn't you read the script? NARRATOR: I know, pretty wild, right? Then again, it is a telenovela.
So let's get back to ours.
When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was 30 years old she and Rafael got back together.
Again.
And, friends, it was romantic.
It was magical.
It was NSFW.
Uh, why don't we skip ahead a little? (JANE SIGHS) Oh, wow, they they're still going at it.
Okay, now we're good.
- I am so happy.
- (CHUCKLES) Me, too.
- I love you so much.
- I love you.
Okay, so what now? We start dating? Take it slow? Screw taking it slow.
Let's pick up right where we left off.
Thank God.
That's what I want to do.
So where were we? Well you were living here.
I'll move back in tomorrow.
And I was going to propose.
Yeah.
You were.
- (GIGGLING): You jerk.
- (LAUGHING) (BOTH MOANING) NARRATOR: Seriously? Again? Yes, seriously.
And we are back forever and ever this time.
I'm so happy for you, hon.
Yeah, but he was actually kind of low-key about it.
I know.
I'm hoping it's not his meds, you know? Dulling his personality? Tell me what you think at dinner tomorrow.
JORGE: We're not just having dinner.
Ooh, okay, fun.
What are we playing? Actually look what I found in the closet.
- LoterÃa.
- Uh-oh.
We don't play loterÃa in this family.
Why not? - Hmm.
- NARRATOR: I'll say.
- LoterÃa! - You cheated.
You called all the cards except the one I need.
You took El barril, didn't you, you cheater? Yes, you did.
You cheated and I hate you.
I wish it was just me and Dad.
Well, that was a long time ago.
Surely you've both moved on, right? If the cheater's moved on, - then I have, too.
- JORGE: Perfect.
LoterÃa it is.
JANE: Okay, well, I should get going.
(BAG ZIPS) I've got to move my stuff into my new home that I share with my soon-to-be fiancé.
XIOMARA: Wow.
You really think he's gonna propose so soon? I'm hoping.
NARRATOR: To be clear, not just hoping.
Straight-up snooping.
RAFAEL: Looking for this? (JANE SCOFFS) No.
I was just, uh making room for my stuff.
Oh, making room for your stuff in my sock drawer? Yeah.
I think it's nice when couples share socks.
Go ahead.
Open it.
NARRATOR: OMG, it's finally happening.
(SIGHS) I had a feeling you might come snooping around, so I hid the ring.
You won't catch a glimpse of it until I want you to.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) Petra, hey, I, uh, I wasn't expecting you.
The girls forgot their music books for their violin lessons.
U-Um I will, um get them for you.
Oh, God.
You're clearly busy with someone.
NARRATOR: Or getting busy with someone.
I'm sorry.
I'll get out of your hair.
(CHUCKLES) Wait, you're here with a waitress from the Marbella? Yes? Well you don't work there anymore, so I guess it's fine.
Have fun.
You're getting busy with Jane? - I, I - Jane, get out here! Hi, Petra.
Oh, well, so much for our single ladies' pact.
I'm sorry.
I was gonna tell you when I saw you in person.
I-I I don't want you to think I'm abandoning you.
Oh, so this is just a one-night stand? Well, I mean no.
It's fine.
I'm kidding.
Congrats, I'm thrilled for you.
NARRATOR: She doesn't look thrilled.
Uh, it's fine, okay? I'm just stressed because of this Milos stuff.
The trial's next week.
NARRATOR: Which brings us to Krishna, I need some help.
Please.
KRISHNA: Two more minutes.
I just need you to scan something.
I have 90 seconds left of my lunch break.
There'll be plenty of time for nail art after Milos's trial, okay? Once he's a convicted felon, I can sue for his shares and get my hotel back.
- Agreed he'll never see it coming.
- Which is why I need you to scan this and send to the lawyers ASAP.
So can you please get back to work? It's been at least 90 seconds.
I reset the clock when you started talking.
(BRIGHT MUZAK PLAYING) (MUSIC STOPS) - Finally.
- Actually, I have a dentist's appointment.
I e-mailed you about it last week, but when I get back I'll be all yours.
NARRATOR: That's not her dentist! It's on.
Petra has no idea.
NARRATOR: Uh-oh.
No, I'm not in the mood for scary.
Let's watch a comedy.
Okay, but first I have a question I want to ask you.
NARRATOR: Or how about a romance? (EXHALES) (EXHALES) (LAUGHS) Have you seen my phone anywhere? NARRATOR: You're killing us, Rafael.
(SCOFFS) (LAUGHING): Oh, I oh, I hate you.
So mean! (LAUGHING) I just want to surprise you, and I will.
- No.
No way.
- Mm-hmm.
My senses are heightened now.
There's no way I won't see it coming.
Mm-mm.
Mm-hmm.
(CHUCKLES) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) RAFAEL: Hey, bud.
Aren't you happy we're all together? You want to come snuggle with us and watch a movie? No, I just came out to get more paper.
Okay, I definitely think the meds - are affecting his emotions.
- Yeah, me, too.
We should talk to his doctor.
(SIGHS) So, how was your doctor's appointment? NARRATOR: That was fast.
Oh, her appointment.
Easy, fine.
Sorry I'm late.
What took you so long? Oh.
(SCOFFS) It was just one of those days.
Everyone was running behind.
Okay.
I'm here.
- Let's get this game going.
- Hmm! Mom.
Try not to cheat again.
Ay.
Bueno.
RAFAEL: Wait.
So this is just bingo? (SCOFFS) It's much more fun than bingo.
XIOMARA: Each card has a riddle on it, and if you can solve the riddle first, you have a better chance of winning.
Well, you can't solve a saying.
Some cards have sayings and some have riddles.
It doesn't matter.
RAFAEL: Well, I'm a little confused still.
So, can I be the caller for this round and then I can get a handle on all the riddles? Or the sayings.
RAFAEL: Okay.
NARRATOR: Let's loterÃa.
Oh, mermaid.
- Yes.
(CHUCKLES) - Oh Ooh, I got the tree.
Y'all are going down.
(SCOFFS, BLOWS RASPBERRY) (CHUCKLES) (GIGGLES) A ring.
(XIOMARA SCOFFS) I don't have it.
Me neither.
Jane (SNIFFLES) (SIGHS) Will you marry me? Yes.
(LAUGHS) Yes (SNIFFLES) Oh.
(GASPS) Oh Yes.
(WHOOPS) (LAUGHTER) NARRATOR: Now that's a winning hand.
NARRATOR: As you may recall, Jane and Rafael were Engaged, finally.
Finally? We've been back together two days.
JANE: Mm! What do you think, Mateo? Hey, Mr.
Sweetface.
What's wrong? Nothing.
Is your new medication making you feel tired? I'm not tired.
Then why aren't you excited that Mommy and Daddy are getting married? 'Cause I don't think it's really gonna happen.
NARRATOR: Yeah, can't blame that on ADHD medication.
Of course it's gonna happen.
Look, I've got a ring and everything.
Doesn't mean you're gonna do it.
You guys always break up.
NARRATOR: I mean, he's not wrong.
This time is different, I promise.
- We are gonna get married.
- When? - Soon.
- Before my karate belt test? (CHUCKLES) Your karate belt test is in three weeks, Mateo.
So could we do it before? W We could just go to the courthouse.
We've both already had big, fancy weddings - Please, please, please? - All right.
- Let's do it.
- I'm in.
Yay, I'm so happy! (CHUCKLES) ROGELIO: I'm just so sad to say that this is our last day of shooting.
Over the past few weeks, I feel I've gotten to know you all so well.
Maybe not in name or individually but definitely in spirit.
So the fact that this experience is over, makes my heart break.
(DIRECTOR CLEARS THROAT) (QUIETLY): Actually, we're not done yet.
(QUIETLY): What's going on? We had some performance issues.
We're going to need some re-shoots.
(SIGHS) River chewed the scenery again? Actually, the problem is you.
See how here it looks like you really need to poop but you're holding it in? You can tell the senator from Phobos that her budget deal is a steaming pile of antimatter! ROGELIO: Ah Well, in my defense, uh, performing with an alien appendage strapped to your behind - is harder than it looks.
- Yeah.
I get it.
We didn't give you any rehearsal time, and animatronics take work.
But the network watched the dailies, and now they're freaking out and calling the tail a "pilot-killer.
" We have to re-shoot some scenes, and you have to find a way to make that tail more natural.
And that's why I'll be wearing it for the next week or so.
Day and night.
Won't it be uncomfortable? There's already some chafing.
But art is suffering.
(PHONE RINGING) It's your oncologist.
Shouldn't you pick up? I'm sure it's a billing thing.
But you just had tests done.
It's fine.
I'll call them back later.
(EXHALES) PETRA: What's going on? I was thinking we could do a girls' night tonight.
We can order Thai food and get those sweet pickles you like for dessert.
Oh, n actually, I Also, I wanted to tell you Raf and I are engaged.
Oh, wow.
Congratulations.
And your first stop was here, to ask me to be your maid of honor? Oh, uh ugh, (CHUCKLES) actually, no.
We're just gonna do a small courthouse thing in a few weeks, but I want to make sure you know that even though we're not both single ladies anymore, I'm still here for you no matter what.
Starting tonight.
So catch me up.
What's happening with Milos? Nothing.
Oh, come on.
The trial's coming up.
You must have some kind of plan.
Okay.
You know what? Let's not do this.
You need to leave.
Why? Because I'm upset with you, Jane.
Clearly, but why? Why do you think? Okay, first you abandon me, and now this whole maid of honor thing.
I've never been one, okay? And even though I don't want to wear some poofy mint green dress, I was willing to do it because it's something people do when they have good friends, and you were my only chance.
Oh, Petra Okay, please, fine.
I'll get over it, all right? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
RAFAEL: Petra wants to wear that? She said she wanted a poofy mint green maid of honor dress.
So, this is what I could find on short notice.
It's halfway between a gesture and a joke.
NARRATOR: I'd say it's closer to a joke.
Well, I think you are very thoughtful, my soon-to-be wife Oh, I love you so much, soon-to-be husband WOMAN: Next! Ooh! Hey.
Sorry.
We're here for our marriage license.
- As you can probably tell.
(GIGGLES) - Paperwork? Oh here you go.
Signed, sealed, delivered.
Oh, yeah.
(LOUD STAMP) Next! Wow.
That is not as momentous as I thought it would be, but okay.
(APPLAUSE) (GASPS) Is that where it happens? - Can we take a peek inside? - Knock yourself out.
Next! Oh, wow.
RAFAEL: It's not that bad.
No, it-it's charming, in its own way.
NARRATOR: What way is that? For instance, that hole is in the exact shape of a fist.
Which is not something you see every day.
- True.
- Mm.
And neither are stains on the wall How do you think they got there? (TEARING) Oh! Oh.
Oh-ho-ho-ho (SIGHS) It's okay.
I have three weeks.
I'll fix the dress and maybe wallpaper the room while I'm at it.
You know what? The ceremony's just a formality.
Why don't we go somewhere special after the wedding to celebrate? That sounds great.
Where? - Well, there's always - Don't say the Marbella.
I was going to say Le Coeur.
(GASPS) Le Coeur.
I've always wanted to go there.
But it's so expensive.
It's our wedding.
It's worth it.
Let's book a private room for 12.
You can't get much more special than that.
Ooh-la-la, Le Coeur.
They're going fancy.
(PHONE RINGING) You should get it, right? Yeah.
I'll be right back.
Okay NARRATOR: Me neither.
I'll write it.
(SIGHS) What's going on? And that we're here for you, no matter what.
Why are you guys acting so weird? We are worried that your cancer is back, and we think you haven't said anything to us because you don't want to ruin Jane's wedding.
Don't worry.
It's not back.
- Oh thank God.
- Ay So? Then why have you been acting weird? You said you'd respect my privacy.
No.
Alba said she would.
I have no respect for your privacy.
I need to know.
Okay, fine.
That wasn't my doctor.
It was my nurse.
I've been picking her brain because I'm thinking about going to nursing school.
XIOMARA! Oh, my God! You will be the best nurse in the world! (LAUGHING): Hey hey, guys.
Hello, Mr.
Sweetface, we're home! So what's going on? Your mom is going to nursing school! That's amazing! I'm thinking about it.
Hey! Have you started the application process yet? I can help you with the essays or proofreading or Slow down.
I want to figure it out on my own first.
Make sure it's really what I want before a million people get into my head about it.
We weren't gonna do that.
Of course not.
I'm just so happy! Sorry.
At your leisure.
So, wedding at that fancy-pants restaurant? As long as they have availability in the next month.
I'm not wearing that.
It's for Petra.
Long story.
Abuela, can I borrow your sewing machine? (MUTTERS) (SIGHS) So things are moving pretty fast, and we could really use your help.
Jane's probably gonna have a to-do list by tomorrow.
- Of course.
- Anything you need.
I'd love to help, too.
But what's the rush? So Michael doesn't come back and take Mommy away again.
NARRATOR: Geez, kid, way to kill the mood.
I'm thinking twinkly lights.
Easy to plug in, easy to take out.
Maybe they'll distract from the fist-hole in the wall.
And I know there'll be no time for vows, but I'm thinking we can say them at Le Coeur, assuming they'll take us, They still haven't called me back.
What happened in Montana? What? With Michael.
I never asked you because I didn't think I wanted to know.
I still don't.
But now I think I have to.
Okay, yeah.
We just worked on the ranch most of the weekend.
But there was one night we had to camp outside, and it got pretty late, and, uh we were laying there, joking around, and then we kissed.
And then we fell asleep, and that's, that's all.
Because I realized I was in love with you.
And I'm sorry it happened.
I wish it hadn't, because then we'd already be married, which is all I want.
Me, too.
And we will be.
(SIGHS) NARRATOR: And from one anxious Villanueva woman to another.
ROGELIO: It's another beautiful day To be a student nurse My wife's going to be a student nurse.
Rogelio Sorry.
Sorry.
Do your research.
I'll zip it.
JANE: Oh, no.
Tomorrow? That won't work.
Well, thanks anyway.
Le Coeur is booked solid for the next two months.
They had a cancellation for tomorrow, but obviously that's too soon.
- Why? - What? Seriously, what are we waiting for? I mean, you said it yourself that you wish we were already married, so let's just do it.
Start our life together.
You're right.
Let's do it.
(CHUCKLES) I'll call the restaurant back and tell them to plan for a wedding.
Yes, which is why I need to fix Petra's dress right away.
Okay, I think this is working.
Yes.
Why not? He wants to.
It doesn't matter.
No, it doesn't, because it's my fault that we're in this situation in the first place.
If it wasn't for me and Montana and everything that happened, Raf and I would be married by now.
And he knows it and I know it, and I just want to move forward.
Xiomara I think everyone should be able to do whatever they want.
JANE: Thank you, Ma.
I'm not going to nursing school.
What?! (CRYING OUT) NARRATOR: As you recall, we last left Jane (LAUGHING): with her head stuck in a sewing machine.
Ow! I'm sorry, she's obviously in pain.
That was totally inappropriate.
(CHUCKLES) No, no, no, I-I don't want lopsided hair for the wedding.
What do you mean you're not applying to nursing school? I tried to sign up, but there were words on the chemistry syllabus I couldn't even pronounce.
I don't know what I was thinking.
It was like a foreign language.
Yeah.
I'll help you study and make flash cards, and we could Ma, I can't see you.
Exactly.
Abuela.
Hmm? Move the machine.
Ay.
Look, I know it's gonna be hard, and it but Abuela.
Huh? Ay, Dios mÃo.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
You can't make my choices for me.
I'm an adult.
She's not going to base a lifelong decision on the result of a game, Abuela.
Hmm.
Wait, what? You don't understand.
Only, like, one in a hundred dancers make it to the second round of auditions for Disney Cruises.
And I'd get to be Mrs.
Potts' third teacup.
I'm not dropping out.
I can take the GED next month.
Dad, please.
You've always believed in me.
I win, I can go to the next round of auditions? Deal.
Are you gonna cheat again? I'll get the game.
What? Hey.
Um (CHUCKLES) Guys? I still need help.
(EXHALES) Are you sure you don't want to get that checked? I have a great on-set doctor.
She healed my chafing with this amazing cream - I rub right between - Dad, I-I-I'm fine.
Just a little bit stiff in the neck.
I need you to shuffle and call the cards.
You're too honest to cheat.
And watch your grandma like a hawk.
NARRATOR: And so began the most epic Villanueva loterÃa battle since their last epic loterÃa battle.
(GROANS) - Okay, next card.
- NARRATOR: I'll go.
"Who's always wearing fancy shorts and is currently on the verge of losing everything?" What do you want, Milos? NARRATOR: Revenge, conjugal visits, and a lock-pick, in no particular order.
Just to say I outsmarted you.
What are you talking about? Uh, you thought you could get my hotel shares back if I'm convicted of a felony.
But it's too late.
I transfer my shares to a close friend who will run the hotel on my behalf.
Game over, Petra.
XIOMARA: Yes.
I am so close.
I just need the pear and the campana.
Going through a dry spell, Mom? NARRATOR: And I have that one, too.
(ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES) I didn't need you to run my life then, and I don't need you to now.
Hurry up and flip another card.
NARRATOR: Done, and it's my last one.
What? No friendly hello for the two-thirds owner of the Marbella? (LAUGHS) I can't believe he bought it! I know.
The idiot actually thought I would lie to get him out of jail.
He really thinks I hate you which I used to, but now you pay me so damn much, I think I might be in love.
NARRATOR: That's right, they were in cahoots the whole time.
I've already gotten the lawyers to draft up the transfer paperwork.
You will be the full owner of the Marbella by tomorrow.
Oh, and you will get an annual bonus bigger than your previous annual salary! (BOTH SCREAM) NARRATOR: Yup.
Played that cards down, so to speak.
Oh, yeah.
That reminds me.
We're down to the wire here.
This is it.
Abuela, you need El camarón to win.
Mom, it's all about the pear.
LoterÃa! No way! Where is my pear? You must have cheated.
- Admit it.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Both of you, relax.
(SHOUTS) - (GRUNTS) Dad! - I'm sorry, it has a mind of its own! (SHOUTING) NARRATOR (GASPS): Cheateria.
I knew it! You were supposed to be watching her.
I-I'm sorry, I don't have a lot of mobility here, and I didn't think she'd really cheat.
XIOMARA: Well, she did again.
Because she always thinks she knows what's best for me.
This is exactly like last time! Exactly! Why can't you just admit it? You cheated then, and you cheated now.
NARRATOR: Alas, Alba's final card.
LoterÃa! You cheated.
You've called all the cards except the one I need.
You took El barril, didn't you, you cheater? Yes, you did! You cheated and I hate you.
I wish it was just me and Dad! I don't understand.
Why would Dad do that? He was the one who always believed in me.
Unbelievable.
Well, you were wrong.
It does hurt.
A lot.
NARRATOR: Here comes the bride, all black and blue.
If the cleaners can't get the stain out, it's fine, Abuela.
I'll just wear the dress I wore to Easter.
(ALBA SPEAKING SPANISH OVER PHONE) Well, I don't think it's basic, and-and it's the closest thing I have to a wedding dress.
(GROANS) Hiya, Jane! And, good Lord, what happened to you? Oh, I got into a fight with a sewing machine.
Aren't you supposed to be getting married - in a couple hours? - Yes.
That's why I'm here.
Here's your dress for the wedding.
(CHUCKLES) Wow.
Why would you bring me this (LAUGHS): monstrosity? You said you wanted to be my maid of honor.
Y-You said that your feelings were hurt, that you'd never been in a wedding before, that it would mean the world to you Oh, that! Oh, sorry.
I-I wasn't really upset about that.
I just needed to get you out of my office.
'Cause we thought Milos might have bugged it, and you kept going on about whether I had a plan to thwart him.
Which of course I did, but I couldn't let him know that.
Anyway, plan worked, I got the hotel back and I couldn't be happier! Seriously? Yes, I know, exciting, right? Petra, I put my blood, sweat and tears into this dress, literally, to make you feel better a-and now you're telling me that you didn't actually give a crap? - O-Okay, well, I-I didn't - Yeah, you didn't.
And now because of you, I have to get married looking like Quasimodo.
- Jane - Whatever.
It's just a small, quickie wedding.
I shouldn't even have a freaking maid of honor anyway.
Just show up at the courthouse at 5:00 p.
m.
XIOMARA: Can you believe her? She is still cheating and lying to try and control my life.
I'm a grown woman.
Becoming a nurse or not is my choice and my mom has no right to interfere.
Okay.
This is the part where you say, "I know, she's the worst.
I'm on your side.
" - Xiomara - Oh, my God.
You're on her side? No.
Yours, always.
Because we are a team.
I just think if this is something you want, it's a little strange you're not even trying.
I did try.
For five minutes.
Then it felt hard, so you quit.
Which is well, it's insulting, frankly.
- "Insulting"? - Yes.
You know how hard I've been working to make my dream come true.
I've been wearing a tail, for God's sake.
In public.
I've scared children, knocked over tables and made many gentlemen uncomfortable at the urinal.
Okay, I think we're getting off-topic.
No, we're not.
I'm doing whatever needs to be done.
No matter how hard it is.
And you just quit before you even got started.
Dreams don't come easy.
You have to work for them.
So, if nursing is what you really want to do, then it's time you put your big girl pants on, strap on that tail and work for it.
- (GRUNTS) You know what? - What? You're right.
(EXHALES) You're right.
JANE: I can't believe it worked.
You can hardly tell I have a black eye.
(SIGHS) Oh, I'll take it off for the ceremony.
NARRATOR: And put it on for the honeymoon.
- Am I right? - XIOMARA: Sorry I'm late, sweetie.
You look beautiful.
- Ma.
- Considering.
- Thank you.
- But - you don't look very happy.
- Of course I'm happy.
I'm about to get married.
Janie, is this true? I just don't want a rushed, small courthouse wedding.
Then why on earth don't you tell him? Because I've already put him through the wringer going to Montana, breaking up our family.
If he wants this wedding right now, then he should have it.
Sweetie, come on.
You can't go into marriage this way.
It's like your abuela said.
Husbands and wives have to be a team.
(SIGHS) (KNOCK ON DOOR) NARRATOR: Which brings us to Oh, wow.
You actually wore it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where is she? She's getting ready at her grandma's house.
Gotcha.
So you're really getting married tonight? What does that mean? It means well, have you seen Jane's face? She said she's fine.
She's not.
She's miserable.
Why are you in such a rush to get married? Well, you know.
Got to lock it down.
I'm kidding.
Are you? (SIGHS) I guess a part of me feels like something might happen and she'll change her mind again.
Look I know what happened with Michael was devastating.
But you have to be able to get over that, and trust her again, because if you don't (EXHALES) Look at me and J.
R.
She thought she could get over the past.
In the end, she just couldn't.
Can you? I don't know.
Just talk to her, okay? JANE: Hey, there.
Y-You know what? I've, I've been meaning to spend some quality time with Mateo.
So, um, I'll just be right inside.
(EXHALES) - So, I - I don't Oh.
You, go ahead.
I don't want to get married today.
Oh, thank God.
Me neither.
I want to wait and plan something really wonderful and What's wrong? I don't know if I trust you.
Because of Michael? - What if you change your mind again? - I won't.
- You just did.
- I didn't change my mind.
My husband came back from the dead.
It's an impossible, crazy situation.
What else could I have done? Chosen me.
- Right then.
Told him to leave.
- I couldn't have.
I mean, maybe somebody else in that situation could have, but you know me, Rafael.
You said it yourself.
I had to explore things with him, he was my husband.
And I can't feel guilty about that forever.
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty.
I'm just (EXHALES) scared.
Yeah okay.
A-And maybe it'll take time for you to trust this.
But I want you to know that I want to marry you and spend my life with you.
Because I chose you, Rafael, and I will keep choosing you, every single day for the rest of our lives.
I'm serious.
If you ever try to leave me, I'm going with you.
(LAUGHS, SNIFFLES) Yeah? Yeah.
NARRATOR: Aw.
Turns out, sometimes you need the vows before the wedding.
(STAMMERS) My neck's still pretty stiff, um Maybe you should go in the other way.
(CHUCKLES) Ah! Ow, ow.
Mm.
Maybe bend your head a little more to the right and no face grab.
(GASPS) Got it.
Jane and Rafael pushed the wedding.
They want to plan a real celebration in a few months.
And speaking of right I do want to go to nursing school.
I'm just Yeah.
There's so much science stuff I don't know or understand Not every minute, right? 'Cause I-I'm gonna need study breaks.
(BOTH LAUGH) (SNIFFLES) (SIGHS) It's crazy, I spent my whole life trying to be the opposite of you and now I'm stepping into your nursing shoes.
(CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) (LAUGHS) ROGELIO: I did it.
NARRATOR: Spoiler alert: he really did nail that tail.
That's crazy.
(LAUGHS) NARRATOR: I know, I'm sorry.
I just had to show you.
150 people? We definitely wouldn't be able to do it at the court.
That's okay.
It's more important to have everyone we know and love there.
Yeah.
Mm? Mm.
You guys about done? 'Cause I need to talk to Jane.
And quite frankly, Mateo and I have reached our conversational limit.
Wow.
That dress just hurts the eyes.
Okay, I'm only wearing it so that Jane knows I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to make you feel like a fool.
I should have told you what was going on with Milos.
But look, I'm a more selfish person than you, so sometimes I forget to think about other people, but I'm working on it, okay? Okay.
But hey, it is who I am, so don't expect, like, a huge change.
(CHUCKLES) Well, I appreciate your honesty.
And I love you, Petra.
Which is why, now that we're postponing the wedding and going bigger, I really do want you by my side at the wedding.
Not so fast.
See, I've also been thinking about who I want by my side at our wedding.
And I was also going to ask Petra.
But I just asked her.
Well, I knew her first.
Oh, I know her better.
I was married to her.
- A long time ago.
- Did you know that she has a fear of drive-through car washes? Did you know that she and I are on the same cycle? - I did not.
- Mm.
Did you know that she refuses to see a movie if she knows an animal dies? Uh, but I don't mind if people die.
Did you know that she knows every single word to Justin Bieber's "Love Yourself"? Okay.
Oh, that's - enough spilling of secrets.
- Please.
Look, I don't have anyone else on my side.
You have your mom and your grandma and your dad.
I used to have Luisa, but not anymore.
I know what it's like to feel abandoned.
And through it all, Petra has been a constant in my life, for better or worse.
I really want her by my side for this.
Ugh, okay.
Fine.
- So it's settled.
- Oh I'll be Rafael's best man.
Mm-hmm.
- And Mateo could be the ring bearer.
- Oh Oh, my God.
(GASPS) - We forgot about Mateo.
- Oh.
How are we gonna tell him that we're postponing again? W-We can't.
Daddy, do you promise to never ever break up with Mommy again? Yes I do.
And Mommy, do you promise to never move back to Bisa's house again, even when Daddy's really mad at you? - I promise.
- Yeah! You're married.
NARRATOR: Aw.
If only the real wedding could go this smoothly.
But alas, that's not in the cards.
Let me catch you up.
Jane was trying to move on from Rafael.
And Petra was trying to move on from J.
R.
Luckily, they had each other to lean on.
But then this happened.
- What is it? - I love you.
Yes, friends.
Jane and Rafael finally got back together.
So it looks like Petra has to do the single lady thing on her own.
But at least she got one of her exes back.
That's right, her old assistant Krishna.
And I want a lunch hour every day.
Every day? Oh, it's a deal.
NARRATOR: And she could use all the help she could get because her ex-husband Milos was threatening to sell the Marbella out from under her unless Petra lied about him under oath.
So she was forced to make a decision.
My lawyers can't stop Milos from selling the hotel.
Well, you've found ways around that kind of thing before, right? Yes, but that would involve lying, and I can't do that anymore.
NARRATOR: That's right, she told Milos no.
KRISHNA: Petra won't perjure herself.
- Only problem - But I will.
I know! Straight out of a telenovela.
Which brings me to Rogelio.
See, his telenovela, This Is Mars, was finally blasting off.
Because I'm half-human, half-Martian.
I've started to evolve.
Didn't you read the script? NARRATOR: I know, pretty wild, right? Then again, it is a telenovela.
So let's get back to ours.
When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was 30 years old she and Rafael got back together.
Again.
And, friends, it was romantic.
It was magical.
It was NSFW.
Uh, why don't we skip ahead a little? (JANE SIGHS) Oh, wow, they they're still going at it.
Okay, now we're good.
- I am so happy.
- (CHUCKLES) Me, too.
- I love you so much.
- I love you.
Okay, so what now? We start dating? Take it slow? Screw taking it slow.
Let's pick up right where we left off.
Thank God.
That's what I want to do.
So where were we? Well you were living here.
I'll move back in tomorrow.
And I was going to propose.
Yeah.
You were.
- (GIGGLING): You jerk.
- (LAUGHING) (BOTH MOANING) NARRATOR: Seriously? Again? Yes, seriously.
And we are back forever and ever this time.
I'm so happy for you, hon.
Yeah, but he was actually kind of low-key about it.
I know.
I'm hoping it's not his meds, you know? Dulling his personality? Tell me what you think at dinner tomorrow.
JORGE: We're not just having dinner.
Ooh, okay, fun.
What are we playing? Actually look what I found in the closet.
- LoterÃa.
- Uh-oh.
We don't play loterÃa in this family.
Why not? - Hmm.
- NARRATOR: I'll say.
- LoterÃa! - You cheated.
You called all the cards except the one I need.
You took El barril, didn't you, you cheater? Yes, you did.
You cheated and I hate you.
I wish it was just me and Dad.
Well, that was a long time ago.
Surely you've both moved on, right? If the cheater's moved on, - then I have, too.
- JORGE: Perfect.
LoterÃa it is.
JANE: Okay, well, I should get going.
(BAG ZIPS) I've got to move my stuff into my new home that I share with my soon-to-be fiancé.
XIOMARA: Wow.
You really think he's gonna propose so soon? I'm hoping.
NARRATOR: To be clear, not just hoping.
Straight-up snooping.
RAFAEL: Looking for this? (JANE SCOFFS) No.
I was just, uh making room for my stuff.
Oh, making room for your stuff in my sock drawer? Yeah.
I think it's nice when couples share socks.
Go ahead.
Open it.
NARRATOR: OMG, it's finally happening.
(SIGHS) I had a feeling you might come snooping around, so I hid the ring.
You won't catch a glimpse of it until I want you to.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) Petra, hey, I, uh, I wasn't expecting you.
The girls forgot their music books for their violin lessons.
U-Um I will, um get them for you.
Oh, God.
You're clearly busy with someone.
NARRATOR: Or getting busy with someone.
I'm sorry.
I'll get out of your hair.
(CHUCKLES) Wait, you're here with a waitress from the Marbella? Yes? Well you don't work there anymore, so I guess it's fine.
Have fun.
You're getting busy with Jane? - I, I - Jane, get out here! Hi, Petra.
Oh, well, so much for our single ladies' pact.
I'm sorry.
I was gonna tell you when I saw you in person.
I-I I don't want you to think I'm abandoning you.
Oh, so this is just a one-night stand? Well, I mean no.
It's fine.
I'm kidding.
Congrats, I'm thrilled for you.
NARRATOR: She doesn't look thrilled.
Uh, it's fine, okay? I'm just stressed because of this Milos stuff.
The trial's next week.
NARRATOR: Which brings us to Krishna, I need some help.
Please.
KRISHNA: Two more minutes.
I just need you to scan something.
I have 90 seconds left of my lunch break.
There'll be plenty of time for nail art after Milos's trial, okay? Once he's a convicted felon, I can sue for his shares and get my hotel back.
- Agreed he'll never see it coming.
- Which is why I need you to scan this and send to the lawyers ASAP.
So can you please get back to work? It's been at least 90 seconds.
I reset the clock when you started talking.
(BRIGHT MUZAK PLAYING) (MUSIC STOPS) - Finally.
- Actually, I have a dentist's appointment.
I e-mailed you about it last week, but when I get back I'll be all yours.
NARRATOR: That's not her dentist! It's on.
Petra has no idea.
NARRATOR: Uh-oh.
No, I'm not in the mood for scary.
Let's watch a comedy.
Okay, but first I have a question I want to ask you.
NARRATOR: Or how about a romance? (EXHALES) (EXHALES) (LAUGHS) Have you seen my phone anywhere? NARRATOR: You're killing us, Rafael.
(SCOFFS) (LAUGHING): Oh, I oh, I hate you.
So mean! (LAUGHING) I just want to surprise you, and I will.
- No.
No way.
- Mm-hmm.
My senses are heightened now.
There's no way I won't see it coming.
Mm-mm.
Mm-hmm.
(CHUCKLES) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) RAFAEL: Hey, bud.
Aren't you happy we're all together? You want to come snuggle with us and watch a movie? No, I just came out to get more paper.
Okay, I definitely think the meds - are affecting his emotions.
- Yeah, me, too.
We should talk to his doctor.
(SIGHS) So, how was your doctor's appointment? NARRATOR: That was fast.
Oh, her appointment.
Easy, fine.
Sorry I'm late.
What took you so long? Oh.
(SCOFFS) It was just one of those days.
Everyone was running behind.
Okay.
I'm here.
- Let's get this game going.
- Hmm! Mom.
Try not to cheat again.
Ay.
Bueno.
RAFAEL: Wait.
So this is just bingo? (SCOFFS) It's much more fun than bingo.
XIOMARA: Each card has a riddle on it, and if you can solve the riddle first, you have a better chance of winning.
Well, you can't solve a saying.
Some cards have sayings and some have riddles.
It doesn't matter.
RAFAEL: Well, I'm a little confused still.
So, can I be the caller for this round and then I can get a handle on all the riddles? Or the sayings.
RAFAEL: Okay.
NARRATOR: Let's loterÃa.
Oh, mermaid.
- Yes.
(CHUCKLES) - Oh Ooh, I got the tree.
Y'all are going down.
(SCOFFS, BLOWS RASPBERRY) (CHUCKLES) (GIGGLES) A ring.
(XIOMARA SCOFFS) I don't have it.
Me neither.
Jane (SNIFFLES) (SIGHS) Will you marry me? Yes.
(LAUGHS) Yes (SNIFFLES) Oh.
(GASPS) Oh Yes.
(WHOOPS) (LAUGHTER) NARRATOR: Now that's a winning hand.
NARRATOR: As you may recall, Jane and Rafael were Engaged, finally.
Finally? We've been back together two days.
JANE: Mm! What do you think, Mateo? Hey, Mr.
Sweetface.
What's wrong? Nothing.
Is your new medication making you feel tired? I'm not tired.
Then why aren't you excited that Mommy and Daddy are getting married? 'Cause I don't think it's really gonna happen.
NARRATOR: Yeah, can't blame that on ADHD medication.
Of course it's gonna happen.
Look, I've got a ring and everything.
Doesn't mean you're gonna do it.
You guys always break up.
NARRATOR: I mean, he's not wrong.
This time is different, I promise.
- We are gonna get married.
- When? - Soon.
- Before my karate belt test? (CHUCKLES) Your karate belt test is in three weeks, Mateo.
So could we do it before? W We could just go to the courthouse.
We've both already had big, fancy weddings - Please, please, please? - All right.
- Let's do it.
- I'm in.
Yay, I'm so happy! (CHUCKLES) ROGELIO: I'm just so sad to say that this is our last day of shooting.
Over the past few weeks, I feel I've gotten to know you all so well.
Maybe not in name or individually but definitely in spirit.
So the fact that this experience is over, makes my heart break.
(DIRECTOR CLEARS THROAT) (QUIETLY): Actually, we're not done yet.
(QUIETLY): What's going on? We had some performance issues.
We're going to need some re-shoots.
(SIGHS) River chewed the scenery again? Actually, the problem is you.
See how here it looks like you really need to poop but you're holding it in? You can tell the senator from Phobos that her budget deal is a steaming pile of antimatter! ROGELIO: Ah Well, in my defense, uh, performing with an alien appendage strapped to your behind - is harder than it looks.
- Yeah.
I get it.
We didn't give you any rehearsal time, and animatronics take work.
But the network watched the dailies, and now they're freaking out and calling the tail a "pilot-killer.
" We have to re-shoot some scenes, and you have to find a way to make that tail more natural.
And that's why I'll be wearing it for the next week or so.
Day and night.
Won't it be uncomfortable? There's already some chafing.
But art is suffering.
(PHONE RINGING) It's your oncologist.
Shouldn't you pick up? I'm sure it's a billing thing.
But you just had tests done.
It's fine.
I'll call them back later.
(EXHALES) PETRA: What's going on? I was thinking we could do a girls' night tonight.
We can order Thai food and get those sweet pickles you like for dessert.
Oh, n actually, I Also, I wanted to tell you Raf and I are engaged.
Oh, wow.
Congratulations.
And your first stop was here, to ask me to be your maid of honor? Oh, uh ugh, (CHUCKLES) actually, no.
We're just gonna do a small courthouse thing in a few weeks, but I want to make sure you know that even though we're not both single ladies anymore, I'm still here for you no matter what.
Starting tonight.
So catch me up.
What's happening with Milos? Nothing.
Oh, come on.
The trial's coming up.
You must have some kind of plan.
Okay.
You know what? Let's not do this.
You need to leave.
Why? Because I'm upset with you, Jane.
Clearly, but why? Why do you think? Okay, first you abandon me, and now this whole maid of honor thing.
I've never been one, okay? And even though I don't want to wear some poofy mint green dress, I was willing to do it because it's something people do when they have good friends, and you were my only chance.
Oh, Petra Okay, please, fine.
I'll get over it, all right? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
RAFAEL: Petra wants to wear that? She said she wanted a poofy mint green maid of honor dress.
So, this is what I could find on short notice.
It's halfway between a gesture and a joke.
NARRATOR: I'd say it's closer to a joke.
Well, I think you are very thoughtful, my soon-to-be wife Oh, I love you so much, soon-to-be husband WOMAN: Next! Ooh! Hey.
Sorry.
We're here for our marriage license.
- As you can probably tell.
(GIGGLES) - Paperwork? Oh here you go.
Signed, sealed, delivered.
Oh, yeah.
(LOUD STAMP) Next! Wow.
That is not as momentous as I thought it would be, but okay.
(APPLAUSE) (GASPS) Is that where it happens? - Can we take a peek inside? - Knock yourself out.
Next! Oh, wow.
RAFAEL: It's not that bad.
No, it-it's charming, in its own way.
NARRATOR: What way is that? For instance, that hole is in the exact shape of a fist.
Which is not something you see every day.
- True.
- Mm.
And neither are stains on the wall How do you think they got there? (TEARING) Oh! Oh.
Oh-ho-ho-ho (SIGHS) It's okay.
I have three weeks.
I'll fix the dress and maybe wallpaper the room while I'm at it.
You know what? The ceremony's just a formality.
Why don't we go somewhere special after the wedding to celebrate? That sounds great.
Where? - Well, there's always - Don't say the Marbella.
I was going to say Le Coeur.
(GASPS) Le Coeur.
I've always wanted to go there.
But it's so expensive.
It's our wedding.
It's worth it.
Let's book a private room for 12.
You can't get much more special than that.
Ooh-la-la, Le Coeur.
They're going fancy.
(PHONE RINGING) You should get it, right? Yeah.
I'll be right back.
Okay NARRATOR: Me neither.
I'll write it.
(SIGHS) What's going on? And that we're here for you, no matter what.
Why are you guys acting so weird? We are worried that your cancer is back, and we think you haven't said anything to us because you don't want to ruin Jane's wedding.
Don't worry.
It's not back.
- Oh thank God.
- Ay So? Then why have you been acting weird? You said you'd respect my privacy.
No.
Alba said she would.
I have no respect for your privacy.
I need to know.
Okay, fine.
That wasn't my doctor.
It was my nurse.
I've been picking her brain because I'm thinking about going to nursing school.
XIOMARA! Oh, my God! You will be the best nurse in the world! (LAUGHING): Hey hey, guys.
Hello, Mr.
Sweetface, we're home! So what's going on? Your mom is going to nursing school! That's amazing! I'm thinking about it.
Hey! Have you started the application process yet? I can help you with the essays or proofreading or Slow down.
I want to figure it out on my own first.
Make sure it's really what I want before a million people get into my head about it.
We weren't gonna do that.
Of course not.
I'm just so happy! Sorry.
At your leisure.
So, wedding at that fancy-pants restaurant? As long as they have availability in the next month.
I'm not wearing that.
It's for Petra.
Long story.
Abuela, can I borrow your sewing machine? (MUTTERS) (SIGHS) So things are moving pretty fast, and we could really use your help.
Jane's probably gonna have a to-do list by tomorrow.
- Of course.
- Anything you need.
I'd love to help, too.
But what's the rush? So Michael doesn't come back and take Mommy away again.
NARRATOR: Geez, kid, way to kill the mood.
I'm thinking twinkly lights.
Easy to plug in, easy to take out.
Maybe they'll distract from the fist-hole in the wall.
And I know there'll be no time for vows, but I'm thinking we can say them at Le Coeur, assuming they'll take us, They still haven't called me back.
What happened in Montana? What? With Michael.
I never asked you because I didn't think I wanted to know.
I still don't.
But now I think I have to.
Okay, yeah.
We just worked on the ranch most of the weekend.
But there was one night we had to camp outside, and it got pretty late, and, uh we were laying there, joking around, and then we kissed.
And then we fell asleep, and that's, that's all.
Because I realized I was in love with you.
And I'm sorry it happened.
I wish it hadn't, because then we'd already be married, which is all I want.
Me, too.
And we will be.
(SIGHS) NARRATOR: And from one anxious Villanueva woman to another.
ROGELIO: It's another beautiful day To be a student nurse My wife's going to be a student nurse.
Rogelio Sorry.
Sorry.
Do your research.
I'll zip it.
JANE: Oh, no.
Tomorrow? That won't work.
Well, thanks anyway.
Le Coeur is booked solid for the next two months.
They had a cancellation for tomorrow, but obviously that's too soon.
- Why? - What? Seriously, what are we waiting for? I mean, you said it yourself that you wish we were already married, so let's just do it.
Start our life together.
You're right.
Let's do it.
(CHUCKLES) I'll call the restaurant back and tell them to plan for a wedding.
Yes, which is why I need to fix Petra's dress right away.
Okay, I think this is working.
Yes.
Why not? He wants to.
It doesn't matter.
No, it doesn't, because it's my fault that we're in this situation in the first place.
If it wasn't for me and Montana and everything that happened, Raf and I would be married by now.
And he knows it and I know it, and I just want to move forward.
Xiomara I think everyone should be able to do whatever they want.
JANE: Thank you, Ma.
I'm not going to nursing school.
What?! (CRYING OUT) NARRATOR: As you recall, we last left Jane (LAUGHING): with her head stuck in a sewing machine.
Ow! I'm sorry, she's obviously in pain.
That was totally inappropriate.
(CHUCKLES) No, no, no, I-I don't want lopsided hair for the wedding.
What do you mean you're not applying to nursing school? I tried to sign up, but there were words on the chemistry syllabus I couldn't even pronounce.
I don't know what I was thinking.
It was like a foreign language.
Yeah.
I'll help you study and make flash cards, and we could Ma, I can't see you.
Exactly.
Abuela.
Hmm? Move the machine.
Ay.
Look, I know it's gonna be hard, and it but Abuela.
Huh? Ay, Dios mÃo.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
You can't make my choices for me.
I'm an adult.
She's not going to base a lifelong decision on the result of a game, Abuela.
Hmm.
Wait, what? You don't understand.
Only, like, one in a hundred dancers make it to the second round of auditions for Disney Cruises.
And I'd get to be Mrs.
Potts' third teacup.
I'm not dropping out.
I can take the GED next month.
Dad, please.
You've always believed in me.
I win, I can go to the next round of auditions? Deal.
Are you gonna cheat again? I'll get the game.
What? Hey.
Um (CHUCKLES) Guys? I still need help.
(EXHALES) Are you sure you don't want to get that checked? I have a great on-set doctor.
She healed my chafing with this amazing cream - I rub right between - Dad, I-I-I'm fine.
Just a little bit stiff in the neck.
I need you to shuffle and call the cards.
You're too honest to cheat.
And watch your grandma like a hawk.
NARRATOR: And so began the most epic Villanueva loterÃa battle since their last epic loterÃa battle.
(GROANS) - Okay, next card.
- NARRATOR: I'll go.
"Who's always wearing fancy shorts and is currently on the verge of losing everything?" What do you want, Milos? NARRATOR: Revenge, conjugal visits, and a lock-pick, in no particular order.
Just to say I outsmarted you.
What are you talking about? Uh, you thought you could get my hotel shares back if I'm convicted of a felony.
But it's too late.
I transfer my shares to a close friend who will run the hotel on my behalf.
Game over, Petra.
XIOMARA: Yes.
I am so close.
I just need the pear and the campana.
Going through a dry spell, Mom? NARRATOR: And I have that one, too.
(ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES) I didn't need you to run my life then, and I don't need you to now.
Hurry up and flip another card.
NARRATOR: Done, and it's my last one.
What? No friendly hello for the two-thirds owner of the Marbella? (LAUGHS) I can't believe he bought it! I know.
The idiot actually thought I would lie to get him out of jail.
He really thinks I hate you which I used to, but now you pay me so damn much, I think I might be in love.
NARRATOR: That's right, they were in cahoots the whole time.
I've already gotten the lawyers to draft up the transfer paperwork.
You will be the full owner of the Marbella by tomorrow.
Oh, and you will get an annual bonus bigger than your previous annual salary! (BOTH SCREAM) NARRATOR: Yup.
Played that cards down, so to speak.
Oh, yeah.
That reminds me.
We're down to the wire here.
This is it.
Abuela, you need El camarón to win.
Mom, it's all about the pear.
LoterÃa! No way! Where is my pear? You must have cheated.
- Admit it.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Both of you, relax.
(SHOUTS) - (GRUNTS) Dad! - I'm sorry, it has a mind of its own! (SHOUTING) NARRATOR (GASPS): Cheateria.
I knew it! You were supposed to be watching her.
I-I'm sorry, I don't have a lot of mobility here, and I didn't think she'd really cheat.
XIOMARA: Well, she did again.
Because she always thinks she knows what's best for me.
This is exactly like last time! Exactly! Why can't you just admit it? You cheated then, and you cheated now.
NARRATOR: Alas, Alba's final card.
LoterÃa! You cheated.
You've called all the cards except the one I need.
You took El barril, didn't you, you cheater? Yes, you did! You cheated and I hate you.
I wish it was just me and Dad! I don't understand.
Why would Dad do that? He was the one who always believed in me.
Unbelievable.
Well, you were wrong.
It does hurt.
A lot.
NARRATOR: Here comes the bride, all black and blue.
If the cleaners can't get the stain out, it's fine, Abuela.
I'll just wear the dress I wore to Easter.
(ALBA SPEAKING SPANISH OVER PHONE) Well, I don't think it's basic, and-and it's the closest thing I have to a wedding dress.
(GROANS) Hiya, Jane! And, good Lord, what happened to you? Oh, I got into a fight with a sewing machine.
Aren't you supposed to be getting married - in a couple hours? - Yes.
That's why I'm here.
Here's your dress for the wedding.
(CHUCKLES) Wow.
Why would you bring me this (LAUGHS): monstrosity? You said you wanted to be my maid of honor.
Y-You said that your feelings were hurt, that you'd never been in a wedding before, that it would mean the world to you Oh, that! Oh, sorry.
I-I wasn't really upset about that.
I just needed to get you out of my office.
'Cause we thought Milos might have bugged it, and you kept going on about whether I had a plan to thwart him.
Which of course I did, but I couldn't let him know that.
Anyway, plan worked, I got the hotel back and I couldn't be happier! Seriously? Yes, I know, exciting, right? Petra, I put my blood, sweat and tears into this dress, literally, to make you feel better a-and now you're telling me that you didn't actually give a crap? - O-Okay, well, I-I didn't - Yeah, you didn't.
And now because of you, I have to get married looking like Quasimodo.
- Jane - Whatever.
It's just a small, quickie wedding.
I shouldn't even have a freaking maid of honor anyway.
Just show up at the courthouse at 5:00 p.
m.
XIOMARA: Can you believe her? She is still cheating and lying to try and control my life.
I'm a grown woman.
Becoming a nurse or not is my choice and my mom has no right to interfere.
Okay.
This is the part where you say, "I know, she's the worst.
I'm on your side.
" - Xiomara - Oh, my God.
You're on her side? No.
Yours, always.
Because we are a team.
I just think if this is something you want, it's a little strange you're not even trying.
I did try.
For five minutes.
Then it felt hard, so you quit.
Which is well, it's insulting, frankly.
- "Insulting"? - Yes.
You know how hard I've been working to make my dream come true.
I've been wearing a tail, for God's sake.
In public.
I've scared children, knocked over tables and made many gentlemen uncomfortable at the urinal.
Okay, I think we're getting off-topic.
No, we're not.
I'm doing whatever needs to be done.
No matter how hard it is.
And you just quit before you even got started.
Dreams don't come easy.
You have to work for them.
So, if nursing is what you really want to do, then it's time you put your big girl pants on, strap on that tail and work for it.
- (GRUNTS) You know what? - What? You're right.
(EXHALES) You're right.
JANE: I can't believe it worked.
You can hardly tell I have a black eye.
(SIGHS) Oh, I'll take it off for the ceremony.
NARRATOR: And put it on for the honeymoon.
- Am I right? - XIOMARA: Sorry I'm late, sweetie.
You look beautiful.
- Ma.
- Considering.
- Thank you.
- But - you don't look very happy.
- Of course I'm happy.
I'm about to get married.
Janie, is this true? I just don't want a rushed, small courthouse wedding.
Then why on earth don't you tell him? Because I've already put him through the wringer going to Montana, breaking up our family.
If he wants this wedding right now, then he should have it.
Sweetie, come on.
You can't go into marriage this way.
It's like your abuela said.
Husbands and wives have to be a team.
(SIGHS) (KNOCK ON DOOR) NARRATOR: Which brings us to Oh, wow.
You actually wore it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where is she? She's getting ready at her grandma's house.
Gotcha.
So you're really getting married tonight? What does that mean? It means well, have you seen Jane's face? She said she's fine.
She's not.
She's miserable.
Why are you in such a rush to get married? Well, you know.
Got to lock it down.
I'm kidding.
Are you? (SIGHS) I guess a part of me feels like something might happen and she'll change her mind again.
Look I know what happened with Michael was devastating.
But you have to be able to get over that, and trust her again, because if you don't (EXHALES) Look at me and J.
R.
She thought she could get over the past.
In the end, she just couldn't.
Can you? I don't know.
Just talk to her, okay? JANE: Hey, there.
Y-You know what? I've, I've been meaning to spend some quality time with Mateo.
So, um, I'll just be right inside.
(EXHALES) - So, I - I don't Oh.
You, go ahead.
I don't want to get married today.
Oh, thank God.
Me neither.
I want to wait and plan something really wonderful and What's wrong? I don't know if I trust you.
Because of Michael? - What if you change your mind again? - I won't.
- You just did.
- I didn't change my mind.
My husband came back from the dead.
It's an impossible, crazy situation.
What else could I have done? Chosen me.
- Right then.
Told him to leave.
- I couldn't have.
I mean, maybe somebody else in that situation could have, but you know me, Rafael.
You said it yourself.
I had to explore things with him, he was my husband.
And I can't feel guilty about that forever.
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty.
I'm just (EXHALES) scared.
Yeah okay.
A-And maybe it'll take time for you to trust this.
But I want you to know that I want to marry you and spend my life with you.
Because I chose you, Rafael, and I will keep choosing you, every single day for the rest of our lives.
I'm serious.
If you ever try to leave me, I'm going with you.
(LAUGHS, SNIFFLES) Yeah? Yeah.
NARRATOR: Aw.
Turns out, sometimes you need the vows before the wedding.
(STAMMERS) My neck's still pretty stiff, um Maybe you should go in the other way.
(CHUCKLES) Ah! Ow, ow.
Mm.
Maybe bend your head a little more to the right and no face grab.
(GASPS) Got it.
Jane and Rafael pushed the wedding.
They want to plan a real celebration in a few months.
And speaking of right I do want to go to nursing school.
I'm just Yeah.
There's so much science stuff I don't know or understand Not every minute, right? 'Cause I-I'm gonna need study breaks.
(BOTH LAUGH) (SNIFFLES) (SIGHS) It's crazy, I spent my whole life trying to be the opposite of you and now I'm stepping into your nursing shoes.
(CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) (LAUGHS) ROGELIO: I did it.
NARRATOR: Spoiler alert: he really did nail that tail.
That's crazy.
(LAUGHS) NARRATOR: I know, I'm sorry.
I just had to show you.
150 people? We definitely wouldn't be able to do it at the court.
That's okay.
It's more important to have everyone we know and love there.
Yeah.
Mm? Mm.
You guys about done? 'Cause I need to talk to Jane.
And quite frankly, Mateo and I have reached our conversational limit.
Wow.
That dress just hurts the eyes.
Okay, I'm only wearing it so that Jane knows I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to make you feel like a fool.
I should have told you what was going on with Milos.
But look, I'm a more selfish person than you, so sometimes I forget to think about other people, but I'm working on it, okay? Okay.
But hey, it is who I am, so don't expect, like, a huge change.
(CHUCKLES) Well, I appreciate your honesty.
And I love you, Petra.
Which is why, now that we're postponing the wedding and going bigger, I really do want you by my side at the wedding.
Not so fast.
See, I've also been thinking about who I want by my side at our wedding.
And I was also going to ask Petra.
But I just asked her.
Well, I knew her first.
Oh, I know her better.
I was married to her.
- A long time ago.
- Did you know that she has a fear of drive-through car washes? Did you know that she and I are on the same cycle? - I did not.
- Mm.
Did you know that she refuses to see a movie if she knows an animal dies? Uh, but I don't mind if people die.
Did you know that she knows every single word to Justin Bieber's "Love Yourself"? Okay.
Oh, that's - enough spilling of secrets.
- Please.
Look, I don't have anyone else on my side.
You have your mom and your grandma and your dad.
I used to have Luisa, but not anymore.
I know what it's like to feel abandoned.
And through it all, Petra has been a constant in my life, for better or worse.
I really want her by my side for this.
Ugh, okay.
Fine.
- So it's settled.
- Oh I'll be Rafael's best man.
Mm-hmm.
- And Mateo could be the ring bearer.
- Oh Oh, my God.
(GASPS) - We forgot about Mateo.
- Oh.
How are we gonna tell him that we're postponing again? W-We can't.
Daddy, do you promise to never ever break up with Mommy again? Yes I do.
And Mommy, do you promise to never move back to Bisa's house again, even when Daddy's really mad at you? - I promise.
- Yeah! You're married.
NARRATOR: Aw.
If only the real wedding could go this smoothly.
But alas, that's not in the cards.