The Secret Life of the American Teenager s05e13 Episode Script

GRACE: Previously on The Secret Life of the American Teenager I cannot believe we did that.
I can't either.
Do you remember that cooking school you applied to in Italy? Yeah? You got accepted.
I love you! I've always loved you! Hi there.
Don't you recognize me? - No.
- Clementine? She's a girl I lived with in foster care.
We were at the same house for not even a year.
I have something to tell you.
What's that? The divorce papers came through.
I'm in love with Adrian.
I want to marry her.
Do you know what you're having? She's a girl, but I'm letting a couple adopt her.
The girls are here.
They're walking the halls.
There's a party? If I scream, how much can you come up with? How old are you? Fifteen-year-old-girl gets nabbed by some guy, turned into a prostitute.
I'm not your husband.
We have to do something about that.
My dad got remarried yesterday.
I'm transferring.
Jack got beaten within an inch of his life, probably by that pimp.
We would like to have you in our family.
Shall we pray? (GASPS) Hi! Hi! Meet your parents, baby girl.
It's what we planned, so I have to.
I have to go back to my family.
You don't sound as if you want to go back.
Your grandmother said you could stay if you want.
She said that she'd talk to your mom and dad.
She did talk to them, and then they talked to me, and I don't know, I don't want the first thing I do after having a baby to be breaking a promise to my parents.
I promised them I'd come home when, as they put it, all of this was over, and it's over.
How are you feeling about that? You're not a shrink.
I've gone to counseling.
I'm okay.
I don't know why people insist on my being upset and depressed because the baby was adopted.
That's a good thing.
Yeah, I know.
I meant how are you feeling about going back? I'm conflicted.
I want to do the right thing.
I mean, I've done enough wrong things in their eyes, so if they think I should be with them, then I want to be with them.
On the other hand, I really hate to leave.
I'm not the same person that I was.
I've lost touch with my friends.
They all eventually quit texting or calling me, and I have new friends.
Ethan? Yeah, Ethan.
And you know, my other friends.
Jody and Francine? I don't think I'd stay for those two.
Don't you think we're friends? You and me? I know you're officially just my mentor, but I kind of think of you as my big sister.
Do you? Yeah.
I never had a sister.
Yeah, me neither.
Ashley? Oh, geez, whoa.
What am I thinking? I totally forgot for a moment.
Ashley and I were never really that close, obviously.
I mean, from time to time, when it's really counted, she's been there, but You really think of me as a sister? Hello? I was the first person who saw your wedding dress.
Yeah.
And I didn't laugh.
It's a great dress.
I'm just saying.
Your showing it to me first and my not laughing, that's kind of sisterly, don't you think? Oh, Kathy, I'm going to miss you, I really am.
You're such a nice girl.
I really hate to see you leave.
And I hate to go.
Everyone back there knows I had a baby.
Everyone here knows you had a baby, too.
People are going to talk.
That's just what people do.
You just have to deal with it.
There I have to deal with it all by myself.
Here, at least, I have people on my side standing up for me.
Then maybe you should tell your parents what you're telling me.
The bottom line is they don't like Ethan.
They want me away from him.
Oh.
And they're not too crazy about you, either.
Me? What did I do? Is it John? Or is it because I'm marrying Ricky? Both.
And that's what they're afraid would happen if I stay here.
They're afraid that because I had a baby, I've grown up too fast and I'll get married too young.
It's a new year and they want me to get off to the right start.
Go right back to where I was before I got pregnant.
Impossible.
Well, maybe you can at least go back to where you left off a little wiser.
Falling in love is such an easy thing to do Birds can do it We can do it Let's stop talking Let's get to it Let's fall in love Hi.
Hi.
What are you doing here? I told you just to tell me what you wanted on the phone because I've got to study.
I got John and Amy out of the house and I've got to study.
Can we talk? About what, Ethan? What's the emergency? You already know what it is.
Kathy leaving is not an emergency.
No, it is! You have to talk to Margaret and Shakur for me.
Why's that? Because I want to go with Kathy.
Go with her where? Back to Texas? For what? To live? Live in Texas? Me? No.
I want to talk to her parents face-to-face and beg them to let her live here.
That's between Kathy and her parents and that's just what Margaret and Shakur are going to tell you.
I know.
That's why I'm trying to figure out how to get a different answer out of them, how to play them.
Why don't you just tell them the truth? Because it's not a good enough reason.
Then maybe you shouldn't ask to go, or ask, realizing that they're probably going to tell you no.
And when they do, don't cry about it.
I can't take no for an answer.
I have to go there.
I have to at least try to keep her here.
I'm in love with the girl.
Not up to me.
Okay.
If you were my parent and you heard what you just heard from me, would you let me go? I don't know, maybe.
Ricky said if he was my parent, he'd let me go.
(BOTH CHUCKLING) That's why we don't play "what if" in this house.
"What if Ricky were my parent.
" (CHUCKLING) We play "what is.
" And what is is we are your parents, not Ricky.
And I think this sounds like a terrible idea.
What do you think? I think maybe I should discuss this with my wife and then we'll get back to you.
That's not "I think it sounds like a terrible idea.
" I'll take it.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) He's 15 and we're going to put him on a plane to go talk to two people who don't like him so he can ask them if his girlfriend can stay here for the next three and a half years after she's had a baby? Uh-uh.
He's in love.
So in love.
And I really like this Kathy.
And please don't quote the statistics on how many teenage girls have a baby and then have another baby, even though I know that's what's going on in the back of your mind.
She's not going to do that, if that's what you're thinking.
They are not going to do anything like that.
They're probably already doing something like that.
But not that.
They're not.
Well.
If her parents want her back in Houston, they want her back in Houston and we shouldn't interfere with that.
No, we shouldn't.
But maybe Ethan should, even if the answer is no.
It's such a manly thing to do, to stand up for his woman, to face the parents even if they give him a no, which, more than likely, they will.
At least he did what he thinks is right, and at least he's telling us what he wants to do instead of stealing something and selling it to buy a plane ticket behind our backs.
Well, I do like that he came to us and told us what he was gonna do.
But Ethan flying around the country on his own, I don't know about that.
Come on.
I really think it will be to his benefit, and possibly to her benefit.
All right.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You won't regret it! I'm going to need some money, of course.
(CHUCKLES) Of course.
How'd it go? With Kathy? Not that good.
She feels obligated to go back to Texas to please her parents but she won't talk to them and tell them that she doesn't want to go.
But I don't know, she's 15.
She should probably go home to her parents.
On the other hand, this could be the beginning of her trying to do what everyone else wants her to do instead of doing what she wants to do and that stinks.
Ethan came over here.
He wants to try to fly back with Kathy and talk to her parents.
Really? Really.
He took the bus over so I took him home and then I went back to your dad's and picked up John because I knew I'd just have to leave again to do that and then I had to put him down for his nap and now I really have to study.
I know.
But since you've stopped for the moment Moment's over.
Guess what I bought.
If it's over $100, we agreed to talk about it.
It's not over $100.
Then we don't have to talk about it.
All right.
All right, what did you buy? That's okay.
I changed my mind.
It's probably something you shouldn't see until we get married.
Oh.
So, we're getting married now? It's definite? Uh, yeah.
We agreed.
There's definitely going to be a wedding on the Fourth of July.
So you keep saying.
Oh, come on, get excited.
I'm excited.
Maybe I could get excited.
What'd you buy? Some fancy lingerie or something? Like we have the money for some fancy lingerie or something.
No! I bought a wedding dress.
Really? Really.
And it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in the dress, so So? We're living together.
We're already saying that we're married.
Come on, show it to me.
All right, maybe I will.
I'm really excited about it.
I'm excited about it.
What is that? It's my wedding gown.
I got it for $25 at a thrift shop.
Isn't it great? I mean, when it's cleaned up and altered and everything.
I could just tell it was such a beautiful dress.
And it's a Hara Dara.
(CHUCKLES) It's a what? A Hara Dara.
She was world famous at one time.
And then she made that dress? It's a great dress, it is, I swear.
She sold off her line, but she was a genius.
Really? Because I don't know anything about wedding dresses, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that is not a great dress.
Yes, it is.
You just have no vision.
Oh, no, I can see all right.
It's dirty, it's too big, and it's used.
So what? I can get it cleaned up and made to fit and, you know, reuse, recycle, it's totally me.
I don't think it's totally you.
I love you, but I hate that dress.
Well, I like it.
I don't.
I don't want you to wear someone else's wedding dress.
Well, I'm going to make it into my wedding dress.
You don't have to do that.
We'll buy you a brand new dress.
I don't want a brand-new dress.
It's a waste of money.
That's a waste of money.
I don't care if it was just $25.
You wasted $25 because you can't possibly be serious about wearing that.
It's ridiculous.
Whoa.
You can't tell me what dress to wear and not to wear to my wedding.
Oh, so it's your wedding now, not our wedding? You didn't want any involvement in it, other than to just show up, and now you want to tell me what dress to wear? I don't think so.
All right, all right, before we get into a big fight here Too late.
Why don't you show it to your friends and your mom and my moms and see what they think? I don't care what they think.
I don't even care what you think.
I love this dress! No, you don't.
You were trying to start an argument.
That dress is a joke.
And you knew what I'd think when you put it on.
You're just trying to get out of this wedding by causing a fight so you can blame me for the whole thing falling apart.
You're acting like an idiot right now, you know that? Why would you think I'm going to back out of the wedding now? Because you bought that dress.
I'm going for a walk.
(SIGHS) + Twenty-five dollars? I love it! It's not just about saving money.
It's about saving a beautiful dress.
I don't know.
I mean, I'm all for recycling.
I have a business that pretty much revolves around reuse and recycle, but What do you think, Willowdine? I'm with George.
If you can do something with a $25 dress, go for it.
Never mind.
Okay, you did that with Nora.
You're not doing it with her, too.
What'd he do? What's going on? Did I do something? I'll just be changing.
I'll help you.
I like Nora.
Nora likes me.
I can't help it.
I'm charming.
Are you? And funny.
We'll see.
By the way, Nora's kind of upset that you're dating Anne, you know.
Why would she be upset? I don't know.
Either she's in love with Anne or she's in love with you.
Personally, I'd say that you're the better catch, Anne being so new to gay and all.
Hasn't made any difference so far.
Really? Really.
And I think you're mistaken about Nora.
Do you? I mean, you totally screwed up that AA meeting for her, the gay one, 'cause now she can't really talk about her life or her feelings or anything because then you'll go back and tell Anne.
She said that? Nora said that? No, I said that.
I'm quite astute.
And right vow I'm astuting that you're attracted to me.
Wow.
Anne was right.
You really are an idiot.
Do you actually think that a gay woman would sleep with you just because you'd get a kick out of it? Apparently, a gay woman slept with me for years just because I got a kick out of it.
Okay, you are funny.
I will sleep with you.
Really? Never.
Did I tell you that he'd hit on you? Yep.
Hey, before you run off to Kathleen's, I have to ask you something.
That guy David that I used to go out with keeps texting me.
And he said that he ran into you a few months ago, and he's surprised that he hasn't heard from either of us.
Why is that? I don't know.
Give me his number.
I'll call him and tell him to stop bothering you.
I can take care of myself, thank you.
I'm just going to wander around, let you two talk.
So, you saw David? I saw him.
I ran into him.
Okay, so why didn't you tell me you ran into him? Because.
Because why? Because I ran into him and his two little girls.
He has twins.
Really? But David can't have children.
Did he adopt? He has children.
Biological children? I don't know.
Like I was going to ask? Well, I think I would ask.
Who cares if he has children? Don't we care? Why would we care? Why? Because once we thought that David was the father of Robie, only he couldn't have children and you could.
You are Robie's father? Of course I am! I told you I didn't have a vasectomy.
But that guy apparently lied about not being able to have children.
He's the bad guy, not me.
What? I'm Robie's father.
I was there when he was born.
I've taken good care of him.
I've been here for him for the past two years.
I'm his father.
Even if I'm not, so you don't have to talk to David.
Knock, knock.
Oh, come in.
Oh, right.
That's what you should say to me.
I didn't know where else to go.
George and Anne were talking.
It is feeling a bit awkward.
Mmm.
Been there.
So, how's it going with your girlfriend? Oh, I don't know if we should discuss that.
It's not Daters Anonymous.
I mean, just because you're my AA sponsor doesn't mean we can't have a normal, social conversation.
You better be nice to her, you know.
I am nice to her.
You better be.
I am.
Why are you being so protective? Why wouldn't I be? Anne's my friend and she's my son's mother-in-law.
Is that it? Or do you like her? I like her.
Of course I like her.
She's a really nice woman.
Yeah, she is.
(CLEARS THROAT) But you know what I mean.
Do I? Doesn't seem like a normal social conversation to me.
Does it to you? Are you serious about her? I don't know yet.
Are you serious about her? Because for some reason, George seems to think that you're either interested in Anne or you're interested in me.
George is an idiot.
I think we've already established that.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Hi, Nora.
Hey, Anne.
Hey, Robie.
Are you ready to go? Yeah, it's a really long drive home.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I just really want to get home.
Don't worry about it.
I'll drive, sweetie.
Good night, Nora.
Good night.
Sweetie.
Ugh.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) Hello? Is Amy still over there? I don't know.
Why? Did she show you that dress? No, I didn't want to see it.
I didn't feel like hanging out with Willowdine and Anne.
Why not? They're at that obnoxious stage in their relationship where they think they're in love with each other or something.
Did Amy show you the dress? She showed me the dress.
We had a big fight and then I walked it off but when I got home and apologized, she took off and left me with John again.
Not that I mind being with John again, but I had to feed him and put him to bed and she knows I've got this placement test tomorrow.
It's only 8:00.
Yes, and then it's only 9:00 and only 10:00 and only 11:00 and then it's midnight.
Then I have to sleep because I've got this test tomorrow.
Never mind.
+ This is going to be fun.
Yeah.
I can't wait to see it.
Yeah.
Me too.
You're not even interested, are you? It's just that every minute counts and this could be a waste of time.
It's not a waste of time.
It's sharing with our friends, making memories.
It's just that it's time we make our own memories, Grace.
Life is short.
Time is very precious to me.
I know, but like everyone keeps reminding you, you're young.
You're going to live a long life.
Yeah, and I want to live it with you.
To the fullest.
Each and every day.
That's so sweet.
And so near death experience.
Let's just try to enjoy life and not take every single second so seriously.
I mean, everything is going to be fine.
Everything is fine.
I thought you were going to show us your wedding dress.
This is it.
This is my wedding dress.
What do you think, Grace? It's gonna be altered and cleaned, of course.
It's just got such great lines.
I got it from a thrift store.
Grace, it's a Hara Dara.
Are you kidding? No.
Are you sure it's not a fake Hara Dara? Are you sure it's not part of a burka or something? Jack, no.
It's a one of a kind dress from a very famous designer.
Amy, God is good.
Marriage is a union made by God.
You have to honor the sacred commitment you're about to make.
For a second time.
Uh, yeah, Jack, I know that, but I don't have to spend a lot of money in order to do that.
I love this dress.
Yeah.
It's unique.
Amy, life is short and each moment is precious.
Do you want to spend the moments of your life, nay, our lives, in that dress? "Nay"? You don't get it, but you'll see.
It's going to be a beautiful dress.
And you're all going to be so shocked to see how it comes out.
(WHISPERS) Holy cow! She's lost her mind! I cannot believe it! I wonder what Ricky thinks.
I know.
Oh, dear Lord, I have turned into a girl.
I've been here so long I'm your girlfriend now.
I'm gossiping.
I'm whispering.
Who are you texting? Who else? Amy, Adrian wants you to drop by.
She's dying to see your dress.
I thought it was bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding.
You're not the groom.
She says she showed Ricky.
They're already married.
It doesn't count.
Plus, I'm dying to see it.
Grace says it's hideous.
How hideous could a wedding dress be? Oh, wow! Oh, you guys.
You just don't get it.
It's a great dress.
It just needs to be fixed up a little bit.
No, I wasn't saying anything negative.
I just meant, "Oh, wow, isn't that a" I told you you could wear my dress.
You'll just have to take it up.
Wear the dress you wore to marry her old boyfriend? Oh, so what? It's better than Going to all the expense, time and trouble to patch that up.
I want to go to the expense, time and trouble to patch this up.
And I want everyone to see it now because you're all going to be totally blown away when you see it again at the wedding.
Isn't that a Hara Dara? Yeah! What? I've helped out at a lot of weddings.
You know, my mom marries people.
I know a dress label, a wedding dress designer.
Doesn't make me gay.
No, that doesn't make you gay, but Okay.
You know dress designers, wedding dress designers, but you don't know that your furniture looks like crap in here? No, it doesn't.
Yes, it does.
This is yours? Yes, this is mine.
And it's comfortable and I just bought it a year ago, so I don't want to get rid of it.
You bought it from a thrift store.
Oh, yeah.
That's where I got this.
A Hara Dara? Yeah.
No way.
Stop.
Right now.
Really, you don't want to wear someone else's wedding dress that you don't know.
You know me.
Wear my dress.
Ben won't care.
This isn't about Ben.
Besides, I really think this one will work.
Who cares who it belonged to, it's It's a nice dress and it'll make a good story to tell your kids when you grow up.
What? You said, "When you grow up.
" You mean, "When your kids grow up.
" Did I say that? I didn't mean that.
You're plenty grown up.
And I think it's admirable that you're doing what you're doing.
Yeah, you don't have to spend a lot of money to have a nice wedding.
No, I meant it's admirable that you and Ricky are getting married, or I guess I should say you and Ricky got married, and you're raising your son together.
Thank you.
Um, I'm just gonna get changed.
It's getting late.
I should be getting home.
That's exactly what she did.
The admirable thing and now she's stuck.
What? I think she wishes she hadn't married Ricky.
I think she regrets it and now she's stuck having a wedding and she's not going to spend money on a wedding dress because it's not going to be her last wedding.
And look, I'm not saying that because I wish it didn't last.
I mean, I wish them both nothing but love, peace and happiness, but I can tell.
Something is wrong.
Something is very wrong.
That dress reflects her feelings about her union with Ricky.
(CHUCKLES) I think someone's taking freshman psychology a little too seriously.
And someone knows just a little bit too much about wedding dresses.
You say Hara Dara, I say hari-kari.
She's on a suicide mission.
She wants out.
Well, she'll be going out in style.
(CELL PHONE BEEPS) (CHUCKLES) Please, please, let me go with you.
You can't.
Please don't make me say that to you again.
There's no point in going.
They'll just say no and it'll make me upset and angry.
It's hard enough to say goodbye now.
Think about how much harder it will be if my parents are yelling at you to get out of our house.
So this is it? We say goodbye here and that's the end of it? There's no end to it, really.
I'll always have wonderful memories of you and I hope that we can always be friends.
Friends for life.
Friends for life stay together for life and get married and have children.
I don't know if I'll ever want to be married and have children, okay? So, please, just say good night.
And I'll talk to you when I get home.
All right, then.
Good night.
+ You're out-voted.
The dress is fine.
Good night.
If you had a problem with this, why didn't you say so? Oh, I had a problem with it all right, because I know where that came from.
She gave it to me for Christmas.
Apparently, I had left it when I got moved out of the house we were in together and she kept it.
Yeah, she kept it for all of those years because she's in love with you.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I saw it, I got angry about it and then I left.
I'm not angry about it anymore.
I'm not angry about anything, so good night.
And if I'm angry about anything, I should just leave it alone and say good night? You insulted me and my choice in bridal gowns, you doubt my commitment to want to get married to you and then I find a gift from a childhood friend which probably means you're the one who has doubts about marrying me.
But I'm letting it go, so whatever you're angry about, just let it go.
I don't want to let it go.
I don't want to just sweep it under the rug.
I wasn't hiding that trophy from you.
It was right there on the shelf.
Yeah.
Hiding in plain sight.
I put it there the day she gave it to me and then I forgot about it.
It wasn't that important.
It's not sentimental to me.
I don't care about Clementine in the way I care about you.
You're my wife and the mother of my child.
You seem to keep forgetting that I'm not your wife.
Amy, I'm telling you right now if you are not going through with this wedding, I want to know.
I don't want to drag this out.
Let's just get it out in the open.
Let's tell everyone we're not married and we're not getting married if that's how you feel.
But it's not, Ricky.
I got really excited about the wedding, maybe for the first time, when I saw that dress.
I just got this picture in my mind of how beautiful it's going to be.
And how nice it's going to be to finally be officially married soso there's no doubt that we love each other and that we are raising our son together and that we are committed to making this work for a lifetime.
I love hearing you say that.
I just wish I believed it.
Because I'm sensing a lot of doubt.
Yeah, well, that's your problem, Ricky.
That's not my problem, so goodnight.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Hey, can I come in? I saw your light on.
Yeah, come in.
Can't sleep again? I sleep in the daytime.
Still can't sleep at night, huh? I'm working on it.
Yeah, well, you're back to school tomorrow, so you're going to need the sleep.
What's on the phone? Amy has purchased a dress for the upcoming wedding.
Let me see.
You are seeing.
That's it.
Maybe I need glasses.
Can you blow it up? It looks like a rag.
Yeah, she looks like Miss Havisham.
Who's Miss Havisham? Ugh.
I hate that look! It's a "how can you not know who Miss Havisham is" look! It's a reference to something at school, isn't it? It's from Great Expectations.
The hair place? No, the novel? By Charles Dickens.
Miss Havisham is this wealthy spinster who looks like a witch.
You know what? It wasn't even a good analogy.
Now you want to tell me what an analogy is? It's a comparison of sorts.
I'm sorry.
I just hate feeling stupid.
I hate school.
You're not stupid.
You're far from stupid.
So, why is she wearing a rag for a wedding dress? I don't know.
She got it at the thrift store and that's what she wants to get married in, or she wants to make it into something she can get married in, anyway.
Yeah, well, I guess since they're already married, it's not that big a deal, this wedding.
Uh, we'll see.
So, you don't think they're married? Or you don't think they'll get married again? What? No.
I didn't say that.
That I don't think they're married.
Or that they won't get married again.
Your face said that.
No, it didn't.
Uh-huh, it did.
No, it didn't.
And why do you think you can just read my face? Survival skill.
I can read any guy's face.
So, what's going on? She's not really married, is she? She's married.
I can read Amy's face, too.
And? And her face says sometimes when you have to live your life according to what other people want or need, sooner or later, you crack.
You better try to get some sleep, huh? You're kicking me out? Have to.
I have to get some sleep.
That's going to be difficult for you now that you know that I know that Amy's not married.
Uh Yes, she is.
"Uh, uh, uh.
" Good night.
You say "uh" when you get nervous, you know that? Hi, husband.
Hi, wife.
Are you coming up to bed soon? No, you go ahead.
I didn't get to read the paper today.
And Chloe is still wandering the house? Yeah.
All right, well, goodnight.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Do me a favor, say goodnight to Ben and see if she's still in his room.
Okay, and if she is? She isn't.
She's right here.
I'm not going to try to have sex with Ben, if that's what you think.
Night.
Is that what you think? No, that's not what I think.
You still can't sleep? I haven't slept in years.
I don't really need to sleep.
And no, I can't sleep.
Nightmares? Afraid that guy's gonna show up? He won't show up.
You're safe here.
Ah.
It's school, isn't it? School starts again tomorrow.
I hate school.
I'm like two years behind and it would be three, but then they'd have to put me back in middle school.
And they certainly don't want any hookers in the middle school.
Certainly not.
(CHUCKLES) Come on, sit down, read the paper to put you to sleep.
Sit down and read the paper.
Look up anything you don't understand and you'll be smarter than anyone else at that school, guaranteed.
Amy Juergens isn't really married.
Guess that's why Ben's been acting so crazy.
+ Yo.
Chloe.
You got 20 minutes to get ready for school.
Huh? Looks like you got some sleep.
But you got to get a shower, change clothes, grab something for breakfast and you've only got Maybe I'll just wait until tomorrow, go back then.
Then you'll be a day behind.
Come on, let's go.
I'm already behind.
Years.
I can take you or Dad can take you.
It's up to you.
And not a word about what you think you can read on my face.
So, is she up? Yeah, I told her she had 20 minutes, which I'm sure will turn into a half hour.
So, ready to get back to school? Are you kidding? Yeah.
The sooner we get back, the sooner I get out.
Six months of high school left and counting.
You should really make the most out of those months, you know.
Enjoy yourself.
Have a good time.
But not too good a time? Don't do anything illegal, but have a good time.
Make the most out of those months.
I'll give it a shot, in between trying to keep my grades up and hoping for more choices with college (STAMMERS) What is wrong with you? Nothing.
Just want you to get off to a fresh start to a new year.
And you know what else? We should start planning something for the summer.
Your last summer before you go off to college.
Maybe you should think about going back to Italy, using that as a home base to see as much of Europe as you can.
Well, maybe for part of the summer.
Oh? What are you going to do with the other part? I don't know.
I guess I'd want to be here for Amy and Ricky's wedding.
Huh? Why you want to be here for that when you could be in London or Paris? After all these years of watching those two go back and forth, no, I want to be there.
What if you stick around and they change their minds or something? You would have wasted your time.
They won't change their mind.
Amy bought a wedding dress this weekend.
Good.
Good for Amy.
And you know that how? Word gets around.
I better go get ready for school.
But thank you for the offer to travel next summer, sounds good.
Okay, we're leaving.
All right.
Have a good day.
Thanks.
You, too.
Bye, John.
Bye.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't know why I care what dress you wear.
You wear any dress you want, including the scary one.
It won't be scary when I'm finished with it.
Hey, if you can make a man out of me, you can make a dress out of that pile of rags.
I didn't make a man out of you, you did.
And you're a very nice man and you're going to make a wonderful husband.
You're already a wonderful father.
I can't believe we fell into fighting about the wedding.
It's just 50 people eating in my parents' backyard on the Fourth of July.
And whether we said I do or not the last time we had a wedding, I already feel married to you.
And are you happy being married to me? Of course I am.
I am.
I'll see you tonight.
Okay, have a good day.
Hey, nice dress you picked out.
Thanks for the picture.
I don't know why I did that.
Or I do know why I did that.
I was angry at Ricky so I went to show all of my friends and family what a great dress I had found and absolutely no one agreed with me, except for maybe Omar.
Doesn't matter.
I was just looking for sympathy and for someone to be on my side, and you've always been on my side, so I sent that picture.
And if my husband knew, he'd be very upset with me, and I couldn't bring myself to tell him, not last night, not this morning, but I am going to tell him.
And I already told him that you don't think we're married, so I really screwed up.
You're not married.
I might as well be.
And I'm going to be.
I don't know why I'm not happy.
Because you're tired of doing the right thing.
You're tired of doing what everyone else wants you to do and you just want to run away.
Yeah.
You know, the stupid thing is that I imagine most moms feel that way from time to time, and it should be okay for me to feel that way every once in a while, to have doubts, to want more, to question whether or not this is all there is to life.
I love Ricky.
I'm just afraid of failing.
I'm afraid of our marriage failing, of him leaving me, or even worse, that I'll leave him and then regret it for the rest of my life.
Thank you, Ben, for being my friend.
And for even being obsessed with me between girlfriends and wives.
It's made me feel good about myself somehow and if you never find anyone else, Ben, then I'll really, really have regrets about even talking to you, so I hope that you do find someone.
You deserve someone, Ben.
Kathy's at the airport.
She's leaving.
I offered to go with her to talk to her parents and beg them to let her stay, but she wouldn't leme do that.
Any advice? Yeah.
Let's go.
I'll drive you to the airport and you run to that plane as fast as you can and you tell her how much you love her and how you'll never let her go, unless it becomes uncomfortable for her or feels more like stalking or something, and then you go to her parents and you state your case.
And if that doesn't work, you go back, and then you go back again until no one doubts that you love this woman and want to be with her for the rest of your life! What time's the flight? I think it's in an hour.
I never canceled the reservation.
Let's go! + I knew this is going to happen.
I knew it! I knew it the second I laid my eyes on those evil, blonde twins.
I knew it was trouble.
You really think there's a possibility, George? Yeah, I do think there's a possibility.
And you never thought there was a possibility that David was the father before? I told you.
He said he couldn't have children.
I should have known he was lying.
I should have known! I mean, Anne and I are brunettes.
We've only had brunettes.
Anne is a redhead.
Like I said, Anne and I are brunettes.
George.
(CHUCKLES) Robie's a blonde.
Brown, brown, blonde.
There are no brown, brown, blondes.
Brown is dominant.
Two browns don't make a blonde.
It's brown, brown, brown, not brown, brown, blonde.
Ever.
No, it's possible.
It's totally possible.
Brown, brown, blonde.
My mom and dad, brown, brown, and I was blonde as a kid.
Huh? Chaz Bono.
Sonny, brown, Cher, brown, me, blonde as a kid.
Yeah, well, I hate to bring this up, but Gregg Allman? You sure? Blonde or brunette, I still love him.
He's my son and no one is taking him away from me.
Aw.
Apparently, my first wife was having an affair with our fertility doctor.
I paid a lot of money for a lot of lies.
And when did you find out that you could have children? You remember my assistant? The one who hated me? I married her.
When she got pregnant.
With twins.
And yes, they are mine.
And that's why I'm here.
Robie is not your son.
He could be.
He looks like mine.
And it never occurred to you before you ran into George to contact me when you found out that you can have children? George seemed absolutely sure that the baby was his and you both seemed absolutely sure that you never wanted to see me again.
And I've kind of been caught up in some legal stuff with my first wife and her husband, the aforementioned fertility doctor.
As well as caught up with starting a family and being a dad.
I like being a dad.
I'm a good dad.
Please.
You have your girls.
Just leave us alone, David.
George is Robie's father.
Anne, you don't really think I can do that, do you? Just leave it alone? I can't.
But I am going to give you some time to get a DNA test.
It's really easy, and after you get that test, hopefully in the next few weeks, then call me.
And if I don't? If you don't, then I'm going to ask for the test through the courts.
But I know you, Anne.
You're a good woman and you're going to want to know the truth, too.
I just (SIGHS) I can't believe this.
Hey, you and I were totally careless.
If Robie is my son, he probably happened on our first date, same thing happened to your daughter and her boyfriend.
Husband.
They got married.
Good for them.
Guess that's out of the question for us.
That's not funny.
Look, if Robie is my son, I want to be involved in his life and that means that you and I are gonna be involved in each other's lives, so let's get this process started as soon as possible and let's try and keep it amicable.
I've been nothing but good to you, Anne, and you know that.
Even when you and George were not so nice to me.
I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself.
/CMaybe I am, but I've got a feeling.
You're giving it back to me.
Why? It was really nice of you to give this to me.
It was really thoughtful.
And I was shocked that you even had it, that you'd kept it for all those years, but I feel funny about taking it.
Oh.
Okay.
But it's not the only one I have, you know.
I have a few of them.
I didn't know.
So, do you mind returning it to the collection, then? No, happy to keep the complete Ricky baseball trophy collector set.
And you're keeping all my trophies because? Because of all the crummy childhood memories I have, you're the only nice one.
What can I get you? Nothing.
Thanks.
I think I'm going to quit drinking coffee before it becomes dangerous to my health.
See you around, Clementine.
I'll be here.
Hi.
It's your lucky day.
Your ticket is being upgraded to first class.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, right.
Are you Kathy? Yeah? Right this way.
Did my dad do this or something? Or something.
If you could take your seat, we're trying to close the door so we can be on our way.
If you'd rather have the window seat What are you doing? I'm going home with you.
These seats are compliments of Ben Boykewich, although I strongly suspect the Sausage King is footing the bill.
Ethan, I can't believe you did this! I wanted you to do something like this, but it was just unfair for me to ask, or to even want you to do this.
Look, I'm going to take my best shot and if it doesn't work out, I'll keep shooting.