Xena: Warrior Princess s05e13 Episode Script

Yah, Argo! Yah! Yah! Yah! The gods are throwing everything they've got at us! -Xena, what'll we do? -Go! Yah! Easy, girl.
Well, Eve, that's one for the grandchildren, huh? Not many babies can say they've been chased by a tornado.
Not many babies are being for the death of Zeus.
The gods aren't taking that lightly.
Gods What do they know? Fear First time they're fighting for their lives.
Gabrielle, we've managed to handle it so far.
You're right.
Tornadoes Lightning How could it get worse? Xena! Gabrielle! Hi.
It's me.
Don't throw anything.
Joxer I I was lookin' for you guys ever since I heard about the baby being born.
Is that it? Oh Oh, little baby, oh Oh, look at the little You're a chubby one.
You've got little chubby cheeks.
-Yes, you do.
-Don't scare her, Joxer.
I'm not gonna scare her.
-Joxer, her name is Eve.
-You know Looks just like ya.
Eve, this is a very good friend of ours, Joxer.
-And who are your friends? -Who These are the magi.
They came here to see you too.
It's ok.
She won't bite.
Come on.
See? Told ya they were my friends.
Funny thing They followed a light all the way here.
Lightning? Yeah.
Light-lightning.
-What's this about? -A new day.
A new life for us all.
Your child issues in a new world, without gods.
A world where every man is master of his own fate.
And the birth should not go unremarked.
Or uncelebrated, though the gifts we bring are humble.
Won't you let us present them? We've come so far and every child deserves birthday gifts.
Well, since you brought 'em be rude not to.
From the wide, fertile plains and fields I bring you grain to nourish your life.
Thank you.
From the orchards and groves, fruit to sweeten her days.
From the essence of the sacred laurel I bring you oil to soothe your way.
Laurels are sacred to the goddess Artemis.
The child must die.
In the time of ancient gods, warlords and kings a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
She was Xena.
A mighty princess forged in the heat of battle.
The power The passion The danger Her courage will change the world.
XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS Joxer! Eve Baby.
Is she ok? -Yeah, she's fine.
-How's the baby? Not a scratch.
Hey -What? -Which is more than I can say for you.
Oh, it doesn't even hurt.
-Ow, it does now.
-Ah It's just a graze.
Gabrielle, clean it, wouldja? I'm gonna check these guys out, find out who sent 'em.
Come on.
I smell a rat.
Come out, rat.
Rat? This is the thanks I get for delivering you from the storm? Right into the hands of assassins.
Well, it sure beats playing tag with a tornado.
Besides I knew you could take 'em.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
According to their amulets these warriors came from three different temples.
Artemis -Poseidon -And Apollo.
Yeah, I know.
Their priests thought by killing you and Eve it would score 'em some big points.
Apollo? Joxer But enough about them.
Let's talk about us.
What, are you mad at me or somethin'? I would be if it would do any good.
Joxer, you led three killers straight to Eve.
Well, you know, they were as much a surprise to me as they were to you.
That's what I'm saying.
Everything is a surprise.
That was fine when it was just Xena and I.
But now, there's Eve to consider.
What, did you think I would hurt Eve? I don't think so, Joxer, but you just don't realize that your actions have consequences.
Like this wound, for instance.
-I got it tryin' to help you, you know? -No, I didn't need your help.
If you had just stopped to think about that, you would have seen.
No, you just go charging in there.
Well, fine.
Maybe I won't charge in next time.
That's my point.
I don't want you to.
Oh, good, good.
Oh, great.
Well, then you maybe you won't mind finding your heads lopped off next to your feet -when you wake up in the morning.
-Yeah, well I can sleep better at night knowing you're watching my back.
Gabrielle, Joxer -What? -What? Come here.
Gimme a look at that wound.
Do you remember which one did this to you? -No.
It all happened so fast.
-Well, think.
It's important.
Why is everybody telling me to think? I think.
I just don't show it.
What's wrong? Those magis, they were warriors sent by three different priests.
One of them was a priest of Apollo.
So that's why they're after Eve? What's a priest without a god It's also why I'm worried about that wound.
If it was Apollo's man who cut you, then it's poisoned.
Without an antidote, you'll die.
Is Is that bad? That's bad.
Well, ok.
Which sword cut you? Try to see it in your mind.
I don't remember.
I feel fine.
Gods! Why don't you guys just leave me alone already? Joxer We can't take any chances.
That sword had blood on it, and if it wasn't yours or mine or Eve's Where do we get the antidote? There's a mandrake tree at the north end of the valley.
It's resin is the only known cure.
I can make a poultice which should slow the poison up long enough for you and Joxer to make it there if you ride hard.
I need you to focus on Joxer.
Once that poison gets hold If it kicks in a red line will move from the wound to the heart.
Xena, let's just say that he's not poisoned.
Then I would be leaving you and Eve alone for nothing.
Are you willing to gamble Joxer's life on that? No! We failed.
Not possible.
I sent my best fighter.
We all did.
Look for yourself.
The heart is diseased provin' our best have been beaten.
If we expect to save our gods we must commit all our forces to tracking down and killing Xena and her spawn.
-Take care of your mom.
-Of course she will.
Xena, are you sure you're going to be ok? Yes.
Now you don't have any time to waste.
I'll meet you two at the mandrake tree, all right? Fine.
Come on, Argo.
Bye.
Bye.
It's just you and me now, Eve.
Well Which way? Xena said to the north of the valley.
Which way's north? Oh Guess you didn't think that out.
Joxer, I am taking you to the mandrake tree and that leaves Xena and Eve alone, ok? It's makin' me nervous.
Oh, then by all means you should go.
I mean, I'll make it to that tree fine by myself.
I feel good.
If you feel you need to go, you should take off by all means.
The poison's moving.
Joxer Hush now, my little one.
Please, don't you cry.
Lay your head down on my shoulder and sigh.
Sun's gone away and Mama will pray.
Silence will keep all where you sleep.
You know, it never fails.
Every time you sit down to eat Don't worry.
I'll keep it warm for you.
Pooper-scooper.
Get it off! Get it off! Get her! And that's how we do it.
What's that? Baptism by blood.
How fitting -Can't you take a hint? -I am here to help you.
That's what you said last time in Tartarus when you tried to convince me that you love me.
I do.
I love it when you play hard to get.
But that's why I'm here.
To prove it to you.
Then you're wasting my time.
I'd never swallow that.
Thanks to that kid of yours, I am dying.
-So why would I lie? -Because you're Ares.
You always lie.
Well, not anymore.
All I want is to end my life the way it really started.
Fighting side by side with you.
You forget I fight against scum like you.
Then so will I.
A fight is a fight, no matter which side you're on.
Ok I'm sorry.
I'm sorry! It's helping.
The red line seems to be holding.
We should have plenty of time to get to the tree.
I thought you said you were leavin'.
I'm sorry about what I said.
I did not mean that.
I think you did.
Ok, maybe I did.
It's just hard knowing that the people I love are in danger and I'm not there.
Talkin' about Xena, right? I'm sure she can handle herself.
It doesn't mean I don't wanna be there so I can jump in and help out or something.
I know the feelin'.
I can be a real bitch sometimes, huh? Can't I? Let's get you to that tree.
Come on.
Sweet dreams, darling.
Damn! -Get the hell away from my baby.
-I swear.
I won't harm her.
That's right.
You're not gonna harm her.
How did we ever let things get this way between us? Well, could it have been when you used the Furies to drive me insane? Or when you turned yourself into my father, just to torment me? Or was it coming onto my best friend? Enough said.
Perhaps I've been a tad overzealous.
But all I want is to have you back, to have things the way they were before.
-But all that's changed.
-That's right, it's changed.
There is no going back.
Eve has seen to that.
I have a short span 'o time, and then I'm gone.
Well, you'll forgive me if I don't wear mourning.
The question is Do you forgive me? I wanna be with you, Xena.
And I will do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Prove myself to make you trust me.
You saved her.
No.
That spring you rig saved her.
I just pitched relief.
But Eve means your death.
You still don't get it.
I would sooner die in your arms than live without you in mine.
Oh, Eve Oh, Eve Eve Come on.
Wake up, Joxer.
Break's over.
Hei Joxer, wake up.
Joxer? Joxer Joxer I'll load up Argo.
You'll just have to g -What? -Are you all right? I'm fine.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
Ok I'm not so fine.
No? You're so hot.
You're not so bad yourself.
-What? -The poison's on the move.
Come on, we have to get you outta here.
-Ok.
-Stand.
Ok.
-How you doin', Joxer? -Fine.
I feel fine.
-It can't be much longer now.
-Ok.
Kill them.
Hold your fire! These woods are consecrated to Artemis.
To trespass is to die.
We weren't trespassing.
We were on our way to her temple for worship.
Your friend looks more in need of a hospice than a temple.
-Well, that's because -We were attacked.
We were attacked by a fierce warrior woman with a baby Xena? Right.
Xena, you know.
Where was this? Well, if you really wanna catch here you should head -west.
-East.
-West.
-East, I mean.
-She was tall.
-She's everywhere.
Take them back to the temple trail.
Then spread east.
We'll go west.
No, wait.
We don't need an escort.
If you just point the way, I'm sure we can find the trail.
Until Xena and her godless child have been destroyed no one's safe.
Now, move out.
I'm tellin' ya, Eve, you can't trust any of 'em.
Not dreams Not visions Not even premonitions.
No, none of them mean what you think.
I would rather die in your arms They're either all symbolic or they play on words that you only half remember hearing.
Sometimes they're quite literal, but the best thing to do with a dream is just ignore it.
I think it was Autolycus that said "Sometimes a dream it's just a dream.
" It's just a dream.
You see, to be looking for hidden meanings in things or secret messages that your gut is trying to send you, it's just ludicrous.
That's crazy.
Crazy.
Am I right? What would you know, huh? Well, come on.
Another mile and we can double back.
You're so beautiful, Gabrielle.
Did I ever tell you that? You're very ill, Joxer.
Hey I kind of miss your long hair, you know? You used to wear it up like a princess, or braided like a warrior.
And sometimes you'd have it down and you'd look like an angel.
Joxer I'm not any of those things.
I'm just me, all right? Joxer, stay awake! -Come on, hang in there.
-I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Joxer! Hey, are you all right? What happened? You're burning up.
Let's see.
-Some water for you? -No, that's empty.
Mine is too.
Listen, I'm gonna go down to the pond that was a ways back.
I'm gonna fill up our water bottles, ok? -Ok, I'll go with you.
-No, no.
You're gonna stay here.
-No, I'll go with -No! Joxer, rest.
-Ok.
-Stay here.
Just as I thought.
Xena and her brat are headed south.
-Let's go! -Move out.
Go! And that's how you lay a false trail.
It's basic, but you gotta start someplace.
Ares says they're almost at the trees.
Keep moving.
Gabrielle? Joxer? Should be here by now.
Well Take a look-see, shall we? What's this? According to the track, Xena's turned north.
Well Someone must have been cut after all, huh? They're headed for the mandrake tree.
Move out! Ares You rang? I knew this had your stink all over it.
Well, I had to do something to get your attention.
-You're always walking away.
-With good reason.
I knew all your talk was lies.
You're wrong.
I'm more than willing to fight beside you, be a father to Eve and to a child of our own.
That's your game.
Now that you feel you're checking out you want a child to carry on your line.
I know it's not real immortality, but it's better than nothing.
Besides, mortals do it all the time.
Why not me? Becuase you're a conniving bastard! That's why not you.
Only because you never believe me when I'm trying to be sincere.
-Sincere? -I'm trying, ok? Every god on Mount Olympus is targeting you.
Even now, three temple armies are closing in.
Now, all I'm asking is your word we will be together and have a child.
And I'll make all this go away.
I swear.
You're asking me to give up the future.
Well, I won't do that even if it means sacrificing my life.
Even if it means Joxer's life or Gabrielle's or Eve's? It's all right, Eve.
Everything's gonna be all right.
Joxer? -Joxer, where are you? -Here! Here.
Easy.
-I heard -Are you ok? I heard guards and I hid in the log.
Ok.
Here you go.
It was good thinking.
Yeah.
I have lots of good ideas these days, huh? Yeah.
-Yeah.
Can you get up? -Yeah.
Put your arms around me, come on.
-I can't! I can't! -Ok, ok.
It's ok.
Ok, look, I got an idea.
You go get the resin and come back and I'll wait here.
I'm not leaving you.
Now who's not thinking? Xena's probably already at the tree waiting for us.
Well, then she's on her way to find us.
Look, we're so far off the trail, she's not gonna know where to look.
Gabrielle Why don't you be smart and think about the people you love? I am.
See, what we gotta do is keep our eyes peeled for a sign.
Gabrielle's smart.
She'll try to get our attention if she can.
Trouble is, the guards would smell a signal fire.
Hey.
Hey.
Guards have ears, too, you know? Otherwise, Gabrielle would be raising a ruckus.
So unless you see something that I don't.
Well, why didn't you say something? Told you Gabrielle was smart.
Gabrielle! -Hey It's ok.
It's ok.
-Was I dreaming? Yeah.
I dreamt we were in trouble, you know? Us? No way.
Us.
How come there was never an "us", Gabrielle? Why Why do people love the people that they do? I don't know.
I know why.
Because you made me feel special.
You are special.
Not special enough.
You're special enough to see me through the worst times of my life.
Enough that I've come to rely on you as a very good friend.
Why didn't you love me, Gabrielle? I do love you.
It's just not the way that you want it, I guess.
I wish I did.
Joxer Lie still, ok? Xena Thank the gods.
Did you get to the tree? Charge! Charge! Charge! For Artemis! Kill the child! Kill the godless spawn! Goodbye, Xena! It's all right, sweetheart.
This'll be over soon, I promise.
Gabrielle Had enough? One word from you and all this is over.
You know how it could be, Xena.
Give me a child.
I swear, I would never harm it.
Dreams can come true, Xena Give me a child.
You're not a dream.
You're my worst nightmare.
Enjoy.
-Kill the godless spawn! -Kill them both! Poseidon! Hang on, sweetheart! Sweet dreams.
Retreat! Oh, Eve Good girl.
-Hold that.
-Ok.
-Is he? -He's gonna be fine.
Look.
The poison's alrady receding.
Jox Hi, Xena.
So, what did I miss? Not a thing, Joxer.
Not a thing.
Joxer, when you were ill, I said I know what you said.
You said that you love me, but only as a friend, right? I do mean that I I I know you do.
I know you do.
But, Gabrielle, I will always love you more than that.
And that's just something I'll have to live with, you know? But that's all right.
But Gabrielle -Is Joxer all right? -Yeah, he's He's fine.
What's wrong? I've been asking myself the same thing.
You know, we live our lives the way we do because someone has to help those who can't help themselves.
But is it wrong to expose a child to that kind of violence? That blood? I think so.
But, Xena, sometimes it's our only resort until we find a more effective way of doing it all.
Perhaps the greater wrong is never to fight at all, huh? You know what? I think it doesn't matter where we take a stand as long as we make one.