Dawson's Creek s05e14 Episode Script

- I know who you are.
- You only just met me.
You're a snake and a con artist.
You slept your way through the entire female student body and half the faculty.
The kind of boy who'll break your heart and then start in on your sister.
You must be confused.
Understandable.
It's a common affliction among blonds.
The truth is, I'm none of those things.
Oh, yeah? Then who are you? I'm just the boy that's gonna tear your soul apart.
This is ridiculous.
I can't do this.
Cut, I guess.
Amateurs.
I am surrounded by amateurs.
Will you just run with me here for a second? If I were a girl trying to seduce a boy- And I've been that girl many times.
- I would never let him know how much I want him.
That's the moment when they lose interest.
I'm sorry, it's feeble writing.
Hey, hey.
I'm right here.
We should have made an animated movie.
Would've, could've, should've.
All right.
Audrey.
You gotta penetrate the subtext, okay? She knows he knows that she knows what kind of man he is.
So if he knows that she knows, and she knows that he knows.
You see? - Yeah.
- All right.
Great.
Let's shoot this scene before we get old and die in our sleep.
Okay, back to work, people.
Oh, I'm sorry.
If you don't swing the microphone, you run less of a risk of dipping into my shot, which would detract from the overall reality of the picture.
Gotcha.
It'll be perfect this time.
All right.
Picture's up.
We are rolling.
Marker.
Twenty-seven apple, take three.
And action.
There is no distinction between writing a story and living your life.
The same elements that make a moment in your life ignite, explode, move these same things make a scene in your writing have life.
When a writer has evolved in their work, they've evolved as an individual.
When the work is intense, it is because their life is intense.
So the real question is, what makes life intense? Conflict.
What is conflict? The essential conflict at the core of the artist? Think of the movies you've seen, songs you've heard, books you've read.
- "To be or not to be.
" - Bingo.
In other words, your desires versus your ideals.
Your head or your heart.
Give me an example, in your own life of a conflict between your desires and your ideals.
I have an example.
- Out with it then.
- Well, it's - It's about a guy.
- Of course.
Isn't it always? Oh, that's too bad.
I was curious where your story was going.
You'll have to share with us next week.
Same bat time, same bat channel.
- We need to talk.
- We do? - Yes.
That was uncomfortable.
- No, that was Creative Writing.
Uncomfortable is down the hall on the left.
There should be a word for people who use sarcasm as a defence mechanism.
There is.
Sarcastic.
I'm serious.
- Are you okay? - I'm fine.
I I mean, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little weirded out by recent events.
I'm sorry, Joey.
I'm a creep.
I- I've robbed you of your innocence, haven't I? No, you're not a creep.
And don't say you're sorry.
That makes me feel- Cheap? - No.
- Dirty? - No.
- Okay, I'm gonna stop talking because obviously there are some things you wanna say to me.
- Many things.
- Okay.
I can't promise I'll have all the answers.
In fact, I can't promise I'll have any answers - but I'm willing to give it a shot.
- Thank you.
Whenever you're ready.
It's kind of a lot of pressure and I'm freezing up so can I do this later? Absolutely.
You slept here again last night, didn't you? Doesn't that, like, violate some sort of health code? Good morning, Audrey.
I can only assume since it's your day off you came here for playful banter and to critique my hygiene which is sweet of you.
But you should have called first.
- Can I have that omelette? - Nope.
We had plans, you know.
You said you'd help me.
Right.
Refresh my memory.
That was the breast exam, right? No.
Learning my lines for Dawson's movie.
We talked about this last night, remember? Only vaguely.
To tell you the God's honest now is really not the best time for me.
Good morning.
What's for breakfast? Audrey, I would like to introduce you to my good friend Gina.
Excuse me? - What? - What's my name? My name is Rina.
R- I-N-A.
Which is what I said, Rina.
Didn't I say Rina, Audrey? You said Gina.
Thank you.
Sweetheart, don't leave angry.
Or if you must, at least don't drive angry.
Have a nice life, Stacey.
Well, on second thought, the omelette's yours.
Jack, morning.
How's it going, bro? We're hearing there's a kegger at the Kappa Mu Pi sorority.
Those of you interested in getting nookie this evening we should meet back here at, let's say, 11.
Break.
Later.
You okay? Yeah, I'm good.
They're trying to make it up to you.
- I know.
I know.
- You just gotta let them back in.
Sounds good, but it's hard to forget that night.
You guys totally bailed on me.
But you stepped over the line in a big way that night.
I feel like that moment that I could have gracefully apologized has kind of passed me by.
Every time I'm around them, I feel like an idiot.
Well, stop stressing.
You are an idiot.
You're a snake and a con artist.
You slept your way through the entire female student body and half the faculty.
The kind of boy who'll break your heart and then start in on your sister.
Good morning, sunshine.
Overcast and grey.
There, that's the spirit.
A week ago, I saw it very clearly.
Now I look at it and all I see are these huge, nightmarish obstacles.
It's like the movie's disappeared, just gotten lost somewhere along the way, I don't know.
Or maybe I have.
It can't be that bad, can it? Not that bad? Okay, the ending doesn't work.
But we have less than 12 hours to rewrite it.
The lights they were gonna use for that sequence we only have rented until tomorrow morning.
But the real punch line is all of this pales in comparison to the real problem.
- What's that? - The real problem is that Oliver is, without a doubt, the most pathetic excuse for a thespian that's ever been.
Jack and Grams have more sexual chemistry than these two.
Hello, people.
What? What did I miss? Have a seat, skipper.
It's time for us to think about what's best for the movie.
- I don't follow.
- Having watched some of the footage it's occurred to me it's possible you're not the right actor for this particular role.
Well, I'm thinking you're wrong.
But on the other hand, you are the director.
And if this behemoth has a prayer of getting done it's gonna be because the final decision on everything including the casting, came from you.
Really? You're okay with this? But we have to recast the part today if we're gonna shoot the finale tonight.
Where are we gonna find an actor who fits the bill? You know, somebody who's sexy, charismatic and attractive.
- And not burdened with a soul.
- Exactly.
Where are we gonna find a guy like that in six hours? I used to date him.
That's not a bad idea.
Oh, yes, it is.
It's a terrible idea.
And you would never make me do that, would you, Dawson? Jen Lindley.
How you been? Busy.
Trying to wrap my head around this Lemon Diet Coke phenomenon.
I knew it.
I knew you could never live without me.
Oh, on the contrary, I actually plan to spend the rest of my life living without you, Charlie, but I need a favour.
A favour? Now, why on Earth would I do you a favour? You get to make out with a really hot girl.
Okay.
Step into my office.
The guy is unbelievable.
I know.
He couldn't even remember her first name.
Her last name, I might understand.
I've slept with guys whose last names have escaped me.
But her first name? - Who? - What? Wait, who are you talking about? Wilder.
Right, Wilder.
Unbelievable.
I'm standing there, ready to say everything I never said then he pulls this Jedi mind trick.
I can't even remember who I am.
- You're Joey Potter.
- I won't become one of his groupies infatuated with him and reduced to a babbling idiot at the mention of him.
May I be brutally honest? Like you've ever been anything but.
You are infatuated with him.
And you have been reduced to a babbling idiot at the mere mention of him.
But I'm not sure that's a bad thing.
How can it not be a bad thing, Audrey? Once upon a time I had this amazing mentor.
Someone who believed in me and respected me.
We were friends, good friends.
And whenever you would allude to a lurid affair between teacher and student, I'd dismiss it.
- The lady doth protest too much.
- I have to drop his class.
- Should I drop his class? - Are you asking for advice - or having a soliloquy? - What's the alternative? I spend the year angsting over a guy I can't be with? - I've been there.
It's excruciating.
- Bunny, breathe.
Ask yourself something.
When was the last time you felt as completely and totally alive as you do right now? Who were you talking about? - Yo.
- Hey.
Thought you went to the athletic centre pick up on the gymnastics team.
Girls slamming their pelvises into the uneven bars at 80 miles an hour.
- Think that'd be right up your alley.
- No.
I had work to do.
So I figured I'd get started with putting it off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Procrastination.
It's the only skill we ever learn in college.
Ain't it a little early to start knocking them back? Only if you're doing it alone.
Besides, we have some unfinished business.
- Oh, do we? - Yes, we do.
" Madden 2002.
" Your Patriots kicked my Bears into a different time zone last time.
And I think we're ready for some revenge.
Get set for some disappointment.
We'll kick your ass some more.
I don't think so.
"You're falling in love with me.
" I can't say you're lacking for confidence.
"That's not true.
" Blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah.
" Doesn't change the fact that you're falling in love with me.
" Now, how can you be so sure? I mean, how do you know I'm not gonna just use you up and throw you out? I mean, it's what I've always done.
"You can sleep with-" Blah, blah, blah, blah.
"- not even you.
" Look, I didn't know.
I've never wanted anything like this before.
"And neither have I.
" A world of pain.
Charlie, one step closer, you're entering a world of pain.
Dawson, it's difficult to really become the character when she is not giving me anything to work with.
Acting tip, it's called using your imagination.
Okay, you know, I've seen enough.
So, Jen, thank you, sweetheart.
Would you mind stepping in the other room for a second? Yeah.
So is this gonna be awkward for you? Your girlfriend's ex starring in our flick? I'm running out of options here.
I gotta say, he's pretty decent.
If you're going for the brutally handsome, rippling abs Tony Scott version of me, he's as good as we'll get.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
So we use him.
- Yes.
Solved.
I have to overhaul your ending, and we might get this done.
Heavens to Betsy! First, you take away my starring role and now you wanna rewrite my ending? - It doesn't make sense.
- Actually, it's frigging brilliant.
She breaks up with him, breaks his heart.
He blows her away with a.
22.
Poetic justice.
I used to think it was great, perfect but- - Having seen the footage - Yes.
So did I get the part or what? Well, that depends.
Can you learn your lines in three hours? Better make that two.
All right.
They go to these parties every night looking for their next girlfriend and for what? So they can have some chick who's gonna bitch and moan at them.
Watch Notting Hill again and again? No.
Forget that.
They can keep their keg.
I like Notting Hill.
Oh, God.
- Dude.
- Yeah? What was it like when you realized you were gay? Well, it wasn't like that, you know.
It wasn't like I woke up one morning from an especially nasty dream about Robert Downey Jr and I said to myself, " Hey, I must be gay.
" Well, what was it like? Well, you know, so many people just- They spend so much of their lives just locked up in this cage inside themselves.
They never even know that they have the key all along.
That's how it was for me.
I mean, I can't tell you when I first realized, you know? I don't know, at some level, I think I've always known it.
Probably just like you've always known you're straight.
It wasn't about realizing that I was gay.
It was about realizing that it was all right.
You're an amazing guy, Jack.
You know that? You really are.
Yeah.
You're the kind of guy that I wanna be.
Do you-? Do you wanna watch some more TV? I- I think The World's Most Horrifying Bungee Accidents is on.
No, I have work to do.
Come on, man, you're not gonna do it now.
Yeah, I have to, okay.
I'm- I'm gonna go.
Okay? Yeah, I'll see you.
Hey! Are you selling Girl Scout cookies? You have any of the coconut ones with chocolate and caramel? I love those.
Actually, I figured out what I wanna say.
Excellent.
I'll alert the media.
Do you think it'd be possible to lose the obnoxious glib for five seconds? Yes.
Yes, of course it is possible.
Sure.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
I wanna say I'm sorry you kissed me.
Oh, my God, Joey.
I can't even begin to apologize about that.
I'm not here for an apology.
I didn't want one that night, and I don't want one now.
Well, in a minute, I'm going to walk over there to where you are and I'm gonna shake your hand in a very masculine way.
We're gonna have this little silent understanding.
And then I'm just gonna turn around and walk away.
What about my class? I don't think I can be a part of it, not now.
Well, no great loss there.
You know what? Screw you.
Clever, Joey.
No, what I meant was you're gonna do great with or without my workshop.
That's what you meant.
Joey, you've got it.
The gift, the touch, whatever you wanna call it.
I don't, you do.
It's a binary distinction.
So all the washed-up hacks turned English professors can wax poetic until the cows come home.
In the end your talents and your instincts are the only things that really matter.
You know, you're really annoying.
Because every time I'm ready to do the smart, sensible thing you go, and you say something that makes me Makes you what? Not wanna go away.
Okay.
So let's do it one more time but this time I'm not just gonna say the lines, I'm really gonna act them.
- Are you warning me? - No.
I just want you to pay attention so you can give me some notes.
Okay.
Well, I'm ready.
Just give me a minute, okay, will you? Bring it, bring it, bring it on! Bring it! You're not so tough, you know.
"Well, I picked the lock to get in here.
That's pretty tough.
" You're falling in love with me.
" I can't say you're lacking for confidence.
" No, that's not true.
I am lacking.
I'm very insecure.
But that doesn't change the fact that you're falling in love with me.
" How can you be so sure? How do you know I'm not gonna use you up and throw you away? It's what I've always done.
" You can sleep with all the right girls and take all the right drugs but in the end, you'll still be alone.
It doesn't matter what anybody says, Gage.
Nobody wants to be alone, not even you.
Oh, wait.
Wait.
I'm not gonna do this.
Well, no, of course not.
Me neither.
Because Because it would be wrong.
Well, it's obviously wrong.
That's why we stopped.
So So Do you have any notes? - Cut! Cut! - Cut.
I'm sorry.
It's just that my co-star Charlie Sheen over here is ramming his tongue down my throat.
I feel like he's looking for my diaphragm.
- Foiled again.
- Okay.
We're gonna take it from just before the kiss.
All right? And, Pace, I see the boom dip into my frame - I begin to forget our friendship.
- Okay.
All right.
And picture's up.
And marker.
Fourteen Baker, take 12.
And action.
I didn't know.
I never wanted anything.
Can we do that different? It got away from me.
Still rolling.
Whenever you're ready.
I didn't know.
I've never wanted anything like this before.
Neither have I.
Line? I'm afraid of falling.
I'm afraid of - Would Gage really say-? - For the love of God, just say it.
I'm afraid of falling.
Don't worry.
I'll catch you.
And cut.
Ouch! She hit me in the ear.
I can't work like this.
It's completely unprofessional.
And it's just- It's too intense with you standing right there next to me.
You're a terrible boom operator.
Remember that uncomfortable vibe you sensed in class? - Yes.
- Good thing we dealt with it.
Yeah, it's a good thing.
Because now, the two of us alone in your house I'm so relieved that there's no awkward tension.
- We can just relax.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I've never been this relaxed.
I might fall asleep.
We're being sarcastic.
Joey, the thing is- The thing I wanted to say to you is I can't afford to lose my job.
That's the last thing that I want.
It's important to me that you know what happened between us I've never done anything like that before.
I know.
You know, Joey Potter, I- I don't think I've ever met anyone like you.
That's what all the boys say.
Yeah? Well, they're right.
I was being sarcastic again.
You wanna hear my example? My example of an internal conflict between my ideals and desires? Are you sure you don't wanna save it for class? I think I wanna run it by you first.
Fair enough.
You're vibrating.
Excuse me.
Hello? Hi.
What's going on? Right now? Yeah.
I'll be right there.
I have to go.
Okay.
Sorry.
Don't be.
Bye.
Eric told us what happened.
What are you guys talking about? Eric told us you tried to kiss him.
You can't be serious.
- Oh, my God, you are.
- Don't waste everyone's time scrambling to deny it.
It's better if you just admit the truth.
- You're right.
- Thank you.
You know, I was just nancying around my room in my thigh-highs and I thought to myself I'll lay a wet one on an unsuspecting fraternity brother.
That's a great way to smooth things over.
- Jack.
- If you guys imagine for a second that I could ever in a million years do anything like that to any of you, then you never knew me.
Wait a minute.
You want us to believe that Eric fabricated this whole thing? No, I'm saying that I don't care.
It wouldn't matter if I did.
You guys have already made up your minds.
So have I.
I'm moving out tonight and not coming back.
That's not what we want, Jack.
Well, with all due respect, my brothers, get out.
So, Dawson, let's say that, hypothetically speaking I might have some insight into why your ingénue is so exasperated today.
And let's also say that, hypothetically speaking, I might be mildly culpable for her exasperation.
It's not important.
I'm sure it's nothing.
Forget I mentioned it.
Pacey, my patience is wearing just a little bit thin.
Okay.
Well, here's the thing.
I kissed her.
Idiot.
Didn't anybody ever tell you the first rule of the universe? Yeah.
That energy is conserved.
The first rule, never get involved with an actress.
Help.
It's trying to think.
Look, I just wanted to offer a few ideas.
Particularly in the way of my character.
Script notes? Are you gonna give me a reason to slap the silly out of you? - Come on! I'm feeling a bit crazy today! - Jen.
Jen.
- She's got moxie, that one.
- That is not- - Who's this moxie? - I'm sorry.
- Quiet thoughts.
Good thoughts.
- I'm okay.
Hey, guys.
Joey, not a moment too soon.
Take Pacey, by force, if necessary, and extract Audrey from the bathroom.
All right, Oliver.
Take Charlie, find a cosy corner, nod vaguely while he gives you his notes.
All right, Jen.
- I don't want you to have an embolism.
- Dawson, he's evil.
Is it possible that he is the Antichrist packed into the body of a handsome musician? - I need a big favour.
- You want me to kill him? I need you to go home.
Right now.
Just gather your stuff and leave.
It's the only way I'll get this done.
But who would do the clappy thing? We'll manage.
Pace, why did Dawson insist you come along on this mission? Did something happen with you and Audrey? No.
No.
Of course not.
If something happened between me and Audrey it would be a terrible, awful thing.
Pacey, you're an idiot.
If one more person calls me an idiot I'm gonna start feeling bad.
Don't you think I'd prefer you with someone amazing like Audrey rather than a random ditz whose name you can't even remember? What? I can remember her name.
Go away.
Severe flooding.
Out of order.
Audrey, it's me.
I'm with Pacey.
We're coming in.
What do you mean? I can't go in there.
That's the ladies' room.
Jo! Audrey, you look great in that dress.
Really? No.
Forget it.
I don't deserve to talk to you.
I don't even deserve to be in the same lavatory as you.
- Why? Because you kissed Pacey? - What? You told her? How could you? Amateur! Audrey, Pacey didn't tell me.
I intuited.
That's amazing, Joey.
You're very intelligent.
Next step, rocket science.
I'm not upset.
Well, you should be.
God, our friendship is like the specialest thing I've found since I came here.
And what do I do? I step on it.
I betray you.
Because I am weak when it comes to men.
You're not.
Okay, maybe you are weak.
But kissing Pacey is not weak.
It could be the smartest thing either one of you has done for a long time.
- Really? - You think? I love you.
I love you.
I love you both in the best, simplest way.
And all I care about is that you guys are happy.
So you're, like, giving us permission? You don't need my permission.
I'm giving you my blessing, for what it's worth.
I want you to listen to me closely because you're never gonna get anything like this again.
You know the truth.
You know what really happened in that room and you're gonna have to live with that.
Believe me when I tell you, Eric you got some serious issues to deal with, and you need some serious help.
I really hope you find it.
- Well, this is kind of beautiful.
- She says as she exits camera right.
So if there are no further crises you need me to bail you out of - Not unless you can fix the ending.
- What's wrong with the ending? I'm not even really sure that it's wrong, I'm just - Unsure? - Yeah.
Well, it's a love story, right? So do they end up happily ever after, or not so much? Not so much.
He kills her.
A little depressing.
- A little cynical for the Dawson I know.
- I'm in my dark period.
If that's true, why are you so reluctant to film it? Part of me wishes I could still be that embarrassing, romantic kid.
The one who believed in the gospel according to Spielberg.
I'm having trouble mustering anything resembling sentimentality or corn or for lack of a better word, hope.
I was at the bus station one time and someone had written these words on a bench: " Hope dies last.
" I always loved it.
I think you're waiting for a sign.
I've been waiting.
I'm freezing my ass off out here.
Did it ever occur to you, Dawson Leery that maybe I'm the sign you're waiting for? It's gonna be okay for all of us.
- You alone? - No.
I got the Vienna Boys Choir with me.
Can we put the biting sarcasm to rest? - You waiting for a bus? - Nope.
I'm just sitting here being cold.
What's happened to you? Well, that's hard to say.
I seem to remember the two of us hanging out in front of that coffee stand at the beginning of the year.
Then Dumb-Guy-With-a-Dream comes up and invites us to a fraternity party and everything after that is kind of a blur.
Jen, can I ask you a question? You can ask me a question.
Did you like Notting Hill? Are you kidding? I love that movie.
You're right.
The ending sucks.
- Audrey.
- Hi.
All right.
Here's what we're gonna do.
We can cut all this.
We're just not gonna do it, okay? We're gonna keep this.
We're gonna keep that.
We're gonna forget all about this.
And we're gonna end it with that.
When you do it, forget everything you've done up until this point.
This is where she lets down her defences.
It's not dry, it's not sardonic.
It's just honest, and it's vulnerable.
Now, when you do it But doesn't that completely- - Shoot first, ask questions later.
- Okay.
- Frank, you ready? - Ready to go.
Okay.
We're gonna do this, and we're gonna do it in one shot.
Think Orson Welles, Touch of Evil.
Everybody knows where they are.
Everybody knows exactly what they have to do.
Let's be the ball, people.
Picture's up.
- Rolling.
- Scene 32, take one.
What? And action.
You ruined my life.
You wrecked me.
I know.
And I'm sorry.
I did a bad thing.
I've done a lot of bad things in my life.
I didn't have a choice.
I had to do it because it was all part of the trip.
The journey to this place and this moment with you.
The thing about life, you can't lose and you can't win but you've gotta try.
- How do you-? - Don't speak.
- But- - Don't speak.
Fade out.
I think I should probably apologize for what happened earlier up in your room.
My mind just took a brief vacation to the Bahamas.
I don't really know what came over me.
Yeah.
Me neither.
It must have been the Method.
I've been watching a lot of James Lipton lately.
Yeah, that must be it because now that we have her permission, the feeling is just- Nope.
You're not my type.
You're not my type.
You already said that.
I know.
I'm just convincing myself.
- How's that going for you? - Not so good.
Not so good? Okay, I'm- I'm going home.
Right now.
Good night.
Of course, I don't have a car so I'm gonna have to walk home.
Well, no, we can't have that.
You were amazing out there tonight.
- Was I? - Yes, you were.
And then, of course, there's that- That thing that you do.
How do you do that thing? - What thing? - You smile and the whole world lights up.
- Acting.
- Beats the hell out of work.
Two to three is the count.
Bottom of the ninth, bases loaded.
Sammy Something is up to bat.
Potter's one last shot at immortality.
The windup, the pitch.
And the crowd goes wild.
SDl Media Group