Nip/Tuck s05e14 Episode Script

Candy Richards

Previously on Nip/Tuck Bob Levitz, creative artists agency.
You thought, "I'll just make a few snide remarks and then Sean will be all yours!" this is the end of our relationship.
Do you understand? Darling, what have you done? - Emme, this is Matt.
- Hi! These last dates have just been so amazing.
- I met my father.
- Who is he? My plastic surgeon.
Dr.
Troy.
You've been poisoning me.
Season 5 Episode 14 Candy Richards - Ms.
Richards, tell us - What the hell happened to you? Jesus.
Yeah, I assume you're referring to my tits Gale and Bozina.
Look at this.
I'm like a leaning human tower of Pisa.
I have to use every bit of my strength not to keep going around in circles.
- What's wrong with your eyes? - What? You mean my deer-in-headlights look? All I wanted was a little fat sucked from my lids.
Now I look like Liza on crack! And my lips.
I mean, I just wanted my lips to be more kissable for my co-stars.
They've been over-injected with silicon would be my guess.
- Who did this to you? - Dr.
Kunchai.
He's the chief resident at the top reconstructive surgery center in Bangkok.
Why would you go to Thailand for plastic surgery when you could've come here? What? And let the tabloids get wind of it? Oh, come on, I have an image to protect.
I'm a goddamn icon.
I'm sorry.
I have no idea who you are.
Tell him.
Tell him who I am.
- Candy Richards.
- Damn straight.
- Right.
- She did an arc on Hearts'n Scalpels, pussy lips.
I have had a recurring role on every nighttime drama since Judging goddamn Amy.
I've been murdered on Law and Order: S.
V.
U.
and Trial by Jury.
And I've been hacked to death on C.
S.
I.
they still talk about how terrifying my head looked in the freezer.
You know, I suppose I'm going to have to kiss that Cold Case goodbye.
I mean, how can I play a Supreme Court justice with one big oversized tit and pop eyes? Look, we can try to fix what was done to you in Thailand.
OK.
But you know I have to be protected from the press.
The press cannot know about this.
If you don't tell them, they won't know.
Ms.
Richards, I know how busy you are, how soon would you like this done? Ladies and gentlemen, Candy Richards, legend in her own mind.
She's just chasing what everyone else is chasing.
At least she gets work.
You should see some of the people in my acting class.
- You're taking an acting class? - Mm-hmm.
Don't you do enough acting in the bars picking up the women, pretending that you're charming and likable? Jesus, you've really fallen for this Hollywood shit, haven't you? Hypocrisy doesn't become you, Sean.
Fame is the V.
I.
P.
pass to whatever you want.
And everybody wants it, including me.
Well, take mine.
People come up to me and want my autograph because I play a doctor on TV.
I pretend to do the thing I actually do and suddenly I'm cool.
What happened to becoming famous for being really good at something? It doesn't matter what you do anymore.
It's how many people hear about it.
Close it up.
Julia's been shot.
_/Yellow Sub\_ Metalmarco::ITA-SA:: She put the gun to her head.
I begged her not to.
I kept saying how much mom loved her and Annie.
What did she say? She said she had become a burden to everybody.
That she was hideous.
That she couldn't look in the mirror.
She didn't even recognized herself.
I mean It's OK, baby.
You tried to stop her.
Is that when you called 911? I was about to when she pulled the trigger.
Then she fell to the floor.
There was blood everywhere.
The bullet entered at a strange angle.
If she was holding a gun to the side of her head I tried to knock her arm away.
But - I couldn't stop her.
- Doesn't make any sense.
If the gun was in the night table by the bed, why didn't she just shoot herself in there? - To shoot herself in front of you?! - She's upset, Sean.
Don't push her.
She can't know what was in Julia's mind.
The Julia you and I know wouldn't try to take her own life.
She wouldn't do that to her kids! Why didn't she leave a note?! There's something you're not telling us.
You're upset.
Dr.
Mcnamara, why not leave the investigation to the police? Look, I've treated enough suicide attempts to know that women don't usually choose a gun to end it.
They're much too vain.
She had no vanity left, Sean! You're lying! What really happened - goddamn it! - Dr.
McNamara.
My 18-year-old daughter's been traumatized.
Do you understand? Could you try to remember that and stop deflecting your own guilt onto her? My guilt? For what? Well, clearly you didn't understand how depressed Julia was.
You never accepted the depth of her despair during your marriage either.
Your lying, cheating.
She said the only way for her to get your attention was to scream at you or screw you.
So the fact is, you never knew her well enough to know she would do this to herself.
They're trying to play this off as a suicide attempt.
Maybe she was depressed.
Are you kidding? We've seen patients with chronic illness.
Takes the life out of you.
That plus the fact that for the first time in 25 years, she didn't have either of us to turn to.
Jesus, Christian, I know you're an ego maniac, but even you must know that she wouldn't kill herself just because you dumped her.
The only thing you're responsible for is helping her buy that gun.
All right.
Here's what we know.
The bullet penetrated the calvarium near the temporal lobe.
It seems to have grazed the dura and exited without any direct brain penetration.
- Is there a subdural hemotoma? - Well, that was our major concern.
We inserted a ventriculostomy to relieve the pressure.
But there was considerable swelling.
Will there be any long-term damage? Probably.
How long will she be comatose? You're both doctors, so I won't bullshit.
I don't know.
Could be an hour, month.
Could be considerably longer.
Nice office.
We like to make all our patients feel comfortable.
You were very good at that if I remember correctly.
So, Darlene, tell me what you don't like about yourself.
You really don't rember me, do you? Of course, it has been 25 years.
And they've been a lot kinder to you, I must say.
We've met before.
Ft.
Lauderdale.
Spring break.
You were just starting college, I think, and I served you a drink at the Sand Dab even though I knew you were under age.
Still not coming to me.
Well, that's funny because it's so clear in my mind.
But a woman never does forget her first.
Your first, really? It might have been a long time ago, but I think I would remember sleeping with somebody as dynamic as yourself.
I didn't lose the legs until'98.
Diabetes.
Everything else just sort of followed suit after that.
But I was quite a knockout in my heyday.
Here.
This'll jar your memory.
- That was you.
- Yeah.
You haven't changed much And that's how I was so sure it was you when I saw you in Playgirl Magazine.
My subscription is kinda the only action I've been getting these days, if you know what I mean.
Does look a lot like me.
You still don't believe me? My first years in college were memorable in the sense that I don't really remember that much.
I'd be lying if I said that I did.
Even if we had a thing once.
- But why don't we get back to how - A thing? We had more than just a thing, Christian.
We had a daughter.
Emme lowell came in here a couple of weeks ago.
Had that birthmark removed from her face.
Well, she slept with your son.
And now I'm here to tell you they are in love, and we gotta do something about that.
Don't give 'em too much, sweetheart.
So what'd you want to talk about? First of all, I need you to know how much I love you.
No matter what, I'm your dad.
I'm here.
And I am not going anywhere.
You understand? What's wrong? Daddy, what's wrong? Is it mommy? You're lying! I know he's in there and I want to see him.
I'll be right back, honey.
Get your fat ass out of my way! OK, listen, you have a restraing order, OK? You gotta get off the premises right this way.
You need to leave right now, Colleen.
You're breaking the law.
Sean, I just need your help, please.
I apologize, liz.
I didn't mean to talk like that.
It's just I'm emotional.
I didn't mean to scare you.
I've got a family crisis and real patients who require my attention.
You need to leave.
I just need you to fix these for me.
Please, you owe me that much.
We've got no more business together.
Zero! You should be in a hospital.
They kicked me out because I don't have any insurance.
Look, I don't know what happened.
All right? I'm just some girl from Ohio.
And I didn't know how to protect myself.
It's just like those twisters back home when families where carried away in their beds.
I got caught up in the insanity of the fame game.
And it destroyed me.
Colleen, come on.
No.
Please, Sean, just help me start over.
Just some place new.
I could open up a bed and breakfast.
But I can't do anything with these scars.
Every gash just screams, "She's some suicidal lunatic.
" "She's a self-pitying loser!" I am walking to the phone, and I am calling the police right now.
You did this to me.
And you will fix them! Let's go.
Come on.
Come here.
Give me a hand.
Come on, you stupid old bitch.
You're a murder! You destroyed my soul.
You'll be sorry for this, I swear! Leave me alone, you understand? This is it for us! This is it! I'm going inside and i'm calling the police.
Freak.
Mom, I can't believe you actually got on a plane.
What was I supposed to do? Leave you here alone while I knew what was going on? I can't believe you actually told her.
I tell mom everything.
You know, by the way, mrs.
Lowell, it is nice to meet you All right, you need to stop the ass kissing.
You hear me? You're not going to score any points here.
You know what, man? Things are stressful enough as it is right now with mom being in the hospital.
- You really need to get so wound up? - Wound up? If you're mother was here, her head would be spinning right around.
I can't believe I have to say this, but you can't sleep with your sister again.
You have no idea what's going on here.
Enlighten me.
Just so that I'm clear.
You did tell me that you slept together, right? But we didn't know we could be related at the time.
- We just felt this connection.
- Yeah.
It's called D.
N.
A.
If you mean it was the most intense real chemical like joing of 2 souls that I've ever felt, that's exactly what it is.
What? What is the matter with you? You have some kind of mental illness.
Every decision you make is absolute bat shit.
Like father like son.
Look, How many women have you bedded in your lifetime, huh? Couple thousand? Now other than me, no mistakes have come forward claiming paternity.
So when emme told me her story, quite frankly I didn't think it held water.
I'm sorry, Darlene, but I didn't believe you.
If your father and I handed you proof, would you believe me? Look, I know that you are both in denial, but that's why we had the blood work done and matched against your medical records.
Emme, he's your father.
Really? So then you and I are really That's OK.
Step kids separated a few years exchanging family fluids is not the end of the world.
But you have to stop now.
All right? You need to settle things down.
We're all family now? Let's not get sentimental, all right.
Connect the dots when we need to where are you going?! I gotta see mom.
I can't be here right now.
You let him go, sweetheart.
He's my brother.
I can still be there for support, right? Do you drink? Where do you keep the good stuff? What are we looking at, nurse?! was outside the ivy.
Made the mistake of trying to photograph Russell Crowe, wound up with a camera imbedded in his rectum.
Who are those people? Those are his friends, doctor.
The other parazzi.
He's going to need surgery.
We'll make a small Pfannensteil incision, do a laparotomy, and we'll have him back on the boulevard compromising celebrity privacy in no time.
And people, let's try and save that camera.
It's a damn good Leica.
Cut! How'd you get back on the lot, Colleen? Your old pass? You know me, Sean.
I never take no for an answer.
Somebody get security.
Get this crazy bitch out of here.
There's a restraing order out on her! You will recognize me as the true greatness in your life if it takes me to my last breath.
Sean, please don't let them take me.
Please, No! You need to press charges, Sean.
She needs to be locked up.
and then Emme says, "it's not mine, officer.
It's my raccoon.
" She must have been a funny kid.
Do you realize that the only one of my 3 children that I actually take care of is the only one that isn't mine? After getting to know you, I think that's for the best.
How's Matt's mom doing? - She's fine.
- No, don't you pee on my back and tell me it's rain.
Are you all right? It's kinda weird.
I feel responsible.
With her and Emme, it's been kind of a surreal week.
Well, to Hollywood land of the surreal.
You know what, Darlene? I can't remember doing you, but I can see why I did.
What's the matter? It's nothing.
It's just I'm such an idiot.
I haven't gotten many compliments since I figure I am an 8.
But since half of me is gone, I'm only a 4.
You're beautiful Darlene.
**** mean a little wet **** edges.
But you're still very beautiful.
Seriously.
I haven't been kissed like that in a long time.
I haven't had that much to drink in a long time.
Do you have to go to work? Surgery in an hour.
You gonna be OK getting out of here on your own.
I mean, do I have to order you some kind of special cab or something - because of your legs? - I can handle myself.
That's not what I meant.
I know.
I do every night.
Excuse me.
You said you never drank like that.
I do every night.
I'm sorry, Darlene.
I shouldn't have done this.
No, I'm glad you did.
The truth is I haven't been laid in a long time.
And last time wasn't half as good as that ride.
God, I'm so old.
You know, I spent the last 25 years fantasying about you, wondering how'd you turn out.
How's reality compared to fantasy? I have a really good imagination.
Will you do something for me? Sure.
Will you make me look like you made me feel last night? You want me to operate on you? I spent my youth on Emme.
And that was a good deal.
I would do that again today.
But I think some how I just thought it would all come back.
And then I lost my legs because of the diabetes.
It all slipped away.
I know I'm not going to get that time back.
And I also know that I'm surely not getting my legs back.
But maybe you can give me my face back.
You want to take a shower first? Oh, doctor, I love you! You're the bomb.
And I am the bomb.
Actually, I'm a ghost.
My agent just called.
And I just got an offer to play a russian ballerina on The Ghost Whisperer.
She has a very bad brain aneurysm.
She dies during a very tragic "pas de deux".
That's why I have to perfect my "ronde de jambes".
When can I start ballet class? We shoot in a week.
Candy, you need to get back into bed or your swelling won't go down.
You won't even be able to shoot from a wheelchair.
You know this is going to be such a great role for my return.
Excuse me.
Hey, excuse me! This is a private room and there will be no autographs.
I'm sorry.
My name is Gary Gold.
And I'm I'm Bob Levitz's partner.
So, you worked with Bob at C.
A.
A.
? Uh, no.
No.
I meant life partners.
Uh, please forgive me for this intrusion.
But, uh, I'm going insane.
You're one of the last people to see him.
And I'm sorry but I really can't wrap my mind around this whole I'm leaving you and going to Darfur thing.
His sudden departure was a surprise.
There were no signs that he was dissatisfied with his life.
A surprise? How about your could have knocked me over with a feather? Look, I love Bob.
He's a ton of fun.
He's great in bed.
But a humanitarian? We don't even recycle.
Look, I'm at my wits end.
The police refuse to consider him a missing person, - and they're sick and tired of me - Wait, wait go back a second.
The police? Are you saying you suspect foul play? Yeah.
I don't mean to be insensitive, but have you considered Oh, no.
No.
No.
He didn't run off with some twink or disappear to a caribbean island with a new identity.
No.
Didn't happen.
I know someone forced him to write that email or someone else wrote it on his blackberry pretending to be him.
I just don't know who that person would be.
Yes, this is Dr.
McNamara.
I'm calling about Julia McNamara.
Yes How's her I.
C.
P.
looking? And how much C.
S.
F have you tapped off that's good all right.
And the ventric is working properly? No.
I'm not in favor of putting her into a hypothermic coma.
No.
I I think it's too risky.
And it's too soon I'd rather stick with the current protocol You're paying for a new armoire.
She stuffed him? Jesus, what a horrible way to go.
Anything? Her passport was scanned at the Tijuana border crossing.
The feds are on it, though.
They gotta lot of good connections with the policia down there.
We'll get her back.
How deluded could I have been? I'm not stupid.
I know how to read people.
I can spot a nut in a consult before they sit down.
I guess you were just blinded by the light of your big shining star.
Let's face it, that's show's been nothing but problems since day one.
It's not the show.
The show's been good for business and for me.
You see? You're so drunk on your own 15 minutes, you can't see this is wrecking your life! I apologize for attacking you back at the house.
I got caught up in that bullshit just as much you did.
Maybe even more.
If I hadn't, none of this would have happened.
If I hadn't done that stupid play girls pread, she wouldn't have seen it, then her daughter my daughter she wouldn't have come looking for me.
I wouldn't have introduced her to Matt.
I mean, I practically forced them to sleep with each other.
I'm gonna give her some insulin.
Her pulse is eradicate.
I don't know what they hell we're gonna do about Matt.
- He's not still - Mm-mmm.
It was one dumb thing, all right.
Once he found out he was his whatever he's done with it her.
I can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth.
It's the one good thing about Julia being in a coma, she doesn't have to know what he's done.
Look.
I know you guys got stuff going on that you don't want to share with me, and I respect that.
I always have.
But there's something I want to say to the both of you.
If we say no, will you say it anyway? Here's the thing.
Every idiot out here wants to be famous.
But you you guys got something better.
You got respect as doctors, as skilled physicians.
And you didn't get this recognition by going out and looking for it.
You got it because you got talent.
You got integrity.
OK.
Maybe not integrity.
But because you took on some pretty amazing cases that no one else would touch with a 10 foot 15 blade.
So do what you do best.
Do what you do better than anyone else and screw the rest.
The hospital just called.
Julia's awake.
Thank you.
I'm on my way.
- Who was that? - Julia's awake.
Thank God.
I'm going over if you want to come.
I need to go sweetheart.
If you're coming Wait.
There's something I have to tell you.
You have to help me, mommy.
I need your help.
- We'll take one car.
It'll be faster.
- If I drive it will.
Hey, please, don't go out there.
They're swarming.
The locusts.
- The what? - The paparazzi.
They're right outside the door.
And they know I'm in here.
And they are dying to get a photo of me post-surgery.
Just go back to recovery or take the side door.
No.
No, what I meant was I don't want you blocking my big exit.
They're all setting up for me right now.
And I told them to come here at 2:00.
You called them? I thought you didn't want anybody to know you were getting work done? You know, doctor, if a tree falls in the woods and 2 dozen nerds with cameras aren't there to put it online, does it really make a sound? I don't think so.
And you want to know why? Because that tree doesn't know what it takes to be famous.
And I do.
So if you don't mind, I'd like you do stay right here.
I don't want you to ruin my entrance.
It's me.
Dr.
McNamara, what can you tell us about Colleen Rose? Is it true she had Aiden fired to further your career? Did you tell her to kill your agent? What about your wife? Were you involved in her shooting as well? Buck off Why are they doing this? You're a public person now, buddy boy.
They own you.
Nothing is off limits.
- Hey do we know anything? - Only that's she's awake.
Hey, Jules, how ya doin'? You look good.
How's it going, mom? I'm so glad you're OK.
I was so scared.
You're a lovely girl.
Does she belong to one of you? The doctors call it retrograde amnesia.
All her memories everything before the gun shot have disappeared.
For how long? No one knows.
- You sure you don't mind? - No, of course not.
I'll take her for a bite to eat and meet you back at the house.
Just feel like I wanna stay a little bit, keep her company.
I get it.
Hey, you.
You feel like going to Johnny Rockets? Huh? Come here.
I'll catch up with you guys later, OK? Come on.
Let's go get some burgers and fries.
Why don't I take a look at all that stitching they did? See how it's coming along.
They did a good job.
I couldn't have done it better myself.
It's good to keep it lubricated.
Are you a doctor? Plastic surgeon.
Is that how we know each other? Because I had plastic surgery? No.
I'm you're husband.
We met in college.
College sweethearts.
That's when we got married.
We're still married? We're still married.
And we have 3 beautiful children.
And we're as happy now as we were then.
And everything is just Perfect.
Music? You know, the fact that you're mom's talking is a great sign.
Even if she doesn't recognize you right now.
You know it's not personal right? Doesn't matter.
She doesn't really know who I am anyway.
Look, I know how hard this is for you - What the hell? - Behind you! Wait here, all right.
Look, just leave us what the hell are you doing? All right, look, I'm not Sean.
And you're scaring his daughter.
That's whose picture we want.
Get out of the way! What are you doing?! Jesus Christ! Get out of my way.
- Why won't they leave us alone?! - I don't know honey.
Just put your head down.
OK.
We're gonna be fine, all right? Get the hell out of my way, you asshole! Get out of the way! Thanks for lunch, Matt.
I'm glad I got to see those handprints in the cement at the Chinese Theater before I left town.
Yeah, me too.
What time's your flight? all I could afford.
I still have a few hours.
- We could - We can't.
Look, Em, we just need a clean break.
You know, maybe in a few months I'll come to Georgia and we can figure this whole thing out on how to be brother and sister.
But now our feelings are just too strong It's not like we'd be the only inbreds in the mountains where I'm from.
You could get a job in a coal mine.
I could pull out all my teeth.
Yeah.
I just don't think I'm ready for the Appalachian lifestyle just yet.
I've been trying to get away from those freaks my whole life.
You are going to go home a beautiful, confident woman.
And guys are going to be falling all over themselves for you.
And your life is going to open up in a whole new way.
It already has.
Yeah, mine too.
I gotta go.
Matt! - You all right? - What are you doing here? I don't think you're going to be much help with a broken collar bone.
I thought I could at least lend some support in there.
You mad at me? I'm mad at myself.
I feel like a fool.
I lost myself.
Lost my priorities, my values.
I chased a dream like a silly teenager.
Now look what's happened.
Can't blame you for anything.
We both got caught up.
It's what happens out here I guess.
Yeah, but don't you think the measure of a man is his ability to maintain his core values no matter what's going on around him? Easier said than done.
I called Freddie.
I told him I want out of my "Hearts'n Scalpels" contract.
Really? Really.
Would you mind if I handle this solo? I just feel like I want to be alone with my daughter in there.
Of course.
I should check on Darlene anyway.
She's had a tough recovery.
A lot of pain.
Everyone's going to be OK.
Hey, baby.
What? I'm afraid I'm gonna have an ugly scar.
I was just telling Annie that you are a very famous plastic surgeon.
And that people come from all over the country for your expertise.
That's about all I want to be famous for ever again.
I promise you'll be good as new, sweetie.
Now auntie Liz is going to give you something so you don't feel any pain.
You'll go right to sleep, and your dad will sew you up.
I want you to count back from 100 for me, OK? Liz can you get me gauze and tape, please? It's going to be good from now on, I promise.
I've been thinking, Liz.
Maybe it's time to put down some roots.
Find a place of my own.
My kids need a real home out here.
And so do I.
What do you think of the Hollywood hills? _/Yellow Sub\_ contact@yellowsubteam.
com
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