The Wonder Years s05e14 Episode Script

The war was still raging in Viet Nam.
Politicians kept talking.
Soldiers kept dying.
And no one seemed to know why.
But, maybe because the war had gone on too long Or maybe, because it had caused too much pain Whatever the reason Most of us managed to keep it at a distance.
And go on, with our everyday, normal lives.
Oh, come on, Wayne - you know this one.
"Obsequious".
"A", toxic "B", easily upset, "C" Fawning "D", ambitious.
My brother, for example, was studying for his college entrance exams.
Ow! What's the matter? I just cut my nose with this paperclip! well, studying maybe a overstatement You have to concentrate, or you're never gonna be ready for your SAT's! Well, I don't know why I have to take 'em - I already took 'em once.
I know, honey, but You justNeed to do a little bit better.
You know I don't know what the big deal is about college anyway.
It's not like if I don't goI'm gonna get drafted or somethin'.
Luckily, Wayne's draft lottery number was 312 Unfortunately, that was also his first SAT score.
"Obsequious"means Fawning.
/ OK, OK OK? / OK.
I hope this doesn't get infected.
The thing is, the guy wasn't a total idiot.
So, obsequious is He was justunconscious.
Fawning! Great! Break my concentration! But no matter how much of a problem the SAT's were "Lugubrious".
"A", tasty"B", mournful"C", unnatural /Wayne had an even bigger problem.
A problem of cosmic proportions.
/"D", sympathetic.
Ow! A problemThat could block the sun.
Wayne?! What are you doin'? What? What'd I do, now? I told youthe shingles have to overlap.
They are overlapped.
And there's supposed to be two nails in every shingle.
How many nails you got in there? About two Pay attention, will ya? Whatever you say, Dad.
As Wayne inched his way towards graduation Dad worried about everything he did.
And his worries came out as complaints.
Oops! Unfortunately, the more Dad complainedThe worse Wayne did.
It was almost as if Wayne thought he was expected to screw up.
I don't believe it Dad, I know what I'm doin', OK?! Then do it.
OK? Use your head, will ya? Whatever you say, Dad.
But even though the problem seemed clear enough WayneDad's just tryin' to help.
He cares about ya - that's why he does this.
For some reasonThe solution just wasn't that simple.
Butthead! / Butt breath! You skipped school? Oh, I didn't say anything.
He didn't have to - the principal called.
Honey? How could you skip school? Wellwe didn't skipI mean We were gonna go, but then we justdidn't go, at the last minute.
Wellwhere did you go? Nowhere.
We didn't do anything.
Coulda done that at school Honey? This is going to go on your permanent record! So? SoSuppose you don't get into college?What are you gonna do then? I don't knowthen I'll work at NORCOM.
Fat chance.
What do you mean? Dad did it! Wayne.
First I went to college, then I went into the Marines, and then I went to work at NORCOM.
So, I'll just get there a little faster.
But if my brother was looking for a free lunch You wouldn't get in the front gate.
Seemed the kitchen was closed.
Well, thanks for your support, Dad.
I really appreciate it.
Wayne Go into your room, and study for your SAT's.
No, thanks.
And there it was.
A classic power-struggle.
A stand-off between generations.
Son Now! Not that the outcome was really in doubt.
Still, it was becoming clear to me, that in the war between Dad and Wayne The casualties were beginning to mount.
Wayne? What are you doing? Bowling.
You want me to ask you some questions or somethin'? Buzz off.
I don't even know why I'm bothering with this stuff.
Eh, I mean, look at this word - "phlegmatic".
Do you know what that means? Calm.
"Calm".
Can you believe that.
I mean, it doesn't even sound like calm.
"Phlegmatic".
Sounds likewhen your nose is stuffed upAnd you have a coldyou're"phlegmatic".
Yeah, you're right.
/ Shut up, will ya! And why can't people just say they're calm? Why do they have to saythey're "phlegmatic"? They're just jerks Yeah.
AnywayYou have a few more days Yeah.
You're right.
Gotta be morephlegmatic.
/ yeah But I guess we both knew What am I gonna do? Somehowthis problem went deeper than phlegm.
Jack?! Jack?! Is Wayne home, yet? Not yet! Oh, he was so nervous this morning.
I hope he remembers what obsequious means I hope he remembered his pencil.
By that Saturday, I guess we were all feeling a little tense.
I knew I was.
You know, Dad, Wayne really studied like crazy for his SAT's.
'Bout time Well, what I'm saying is, sometimes,he just has trouble gettin' it.
What are you talkin' about? Wayne's a smart kid! If he stopped actin' so dumb.
Well, yeah, but, what I'm saying is that Look.
A lot of kids don't do that well in high school.
didn't do that well, myself.
It's a chance for Wayne to turn things around.
But it seemed to me that Dad was missing the point, here.
But what if he can't? You know, Wayne had a lot of trouble taking his first step.
Took him a long time to do it.
But when he finally did it He didn't just take a stephe ran across the room.
Then he fell on his butt.
But he got back up again.
And for the first time in a long time I could see how much Dad was rooting for Wayne.
How proud he was of him.
And at that moment I actually had the feeling everything was gonna be alright.
Hey! Dad! How was the test? Was it tough? Well, umAbout the test We didn't take it.
What do you mean you didn't take it? Well, we did somethin' a little better! A lot better.
What'd you do? WellWe've been thinkin' / Yeah, we were thinkin'.
And, why spend four years in a college, when there's a much better way to get a career? Wayne! What did you do?! Well, we talked it over, and - / We joined the Army! This can't be happening! Even so, it had.
My mother's worst nightmare was coming true.
Honey - you are just in high school! Mom, I'm eighteen years old And besides, the sergeant really liked us.
Yeah! He said we were special.
/ Yeah! It was unbelievable.
My brother had joined the Army.
You guys are kidding, right? No, butthead.
Which left only one sane reasonable response.
How did you come up with such a dumb, stupid, idiotic idea! Well, actuallyit was my idea.
And you listened to him? That's real bright.
Thanks! Dad Listen, you knowIt's not as dumbas it sounds.
I mean, if you just think about it - it makes sense! The pay is good And besides, they'll teach us to be anything we want - mechanics, uh, engineers, uh Topographical specialists Yeah! / Wart? Go home Well, I asked him to stay for dinner Goodbye, Wart.
And with those social pleasantries out of the way Nice seeing you folks.
It was time for the family to talk turkey.
Jack! We can't let this happen.
You didn't take your physical yet, right? No, but, you know, that's just He's not in the Army.
Tomorrow, you'll go down there and tell 'em you changed your mind.
No, you don't understand / You don't understand.
They're gonna send you off to Viet Nam! They're gonna pack you up and ship you off so fast Your head's gonna spin! That's not what the sergeant said.
The sergeant said that - What's the matter with you?! They'll tell you anything! Well, you went to Korea.
/ That was different.
Why? What was different about it? / Because you're a dumb young kid! Well, you were a young dumb kid, too.
/ Wayne! Listen to me! You're not goin'.
Whatever you say, Dad.
And with that So ended my brother's brief career in the military.
For the next few daysThings pretty much went back to normal.
normal For Wayne, anyway.
At school, he and WartContinued to pursue their stellar academic careers.
While at home He and Dad settled back into the same old father-son routine.
Wayne? Wayne! / What? In a way, it was almostreassuring.
Hey! What's goin' on? Well, I was just cleaning out my room, and Ithought maybe you'd want to buy some of this stuff.
Five bucks each HeyThat's my football.
Oh.
Oh.
That I'll sell ya for two.
I'm not gonna pay you to get my own stuff back.
Fine.
Take it all.
What's going on? I, uh I'm goin' down to take my physical, now.
What?! Wayne, you can't do this.
Hey - it's my life! /Wayne?! Yeah, butyou told Dad that you /Well, I had to get him off my back! Told Dad what? Course I knew I should keep my mouth shut.
Still, brotherly confidentiality was one thing He's going to take his physical.
The Armywas quite another.
What are you talkin' about? You heard him.
Uh-uh And suddenlyWar had broken out again.
I thought we said you weren't gonna do that.
No, Dad.
You saidI wasn't gonna do it.
Wayne.
You're not goin' anywhere.
Oh, yes I am, Dad.
And this time you're not gonna stop me.
Fine.
But if you go down there Don't expect me to get ya out.
Maybe Dad was bluffingmaybe not.
In any event Bye, Dad.
This timeWayne didn't blink.
I'm going with him, Dad.
I'm not sure why I went along.
Maybe I thought I could help.
Maybe I just didn't want him to go there alone.
Well This is it.
Yeah! Look, umI'm not gonna be around to take care of you anymore.
Well, see - the thing is Even when I'm not aroundI'm gonna be around.
I mean, I want you to have funI want ya to get into trouble Don't beobsequiousorphlegmatic, and, and when you think of me, don't beLugubrious.
Let's face it.
The guy was no orator.
I won't.
I better get in there.
I knew there was something I should say.
Some way to tell him all the things I was feeling.
Good luck.
I guess I just didn't say it very well.
That afternoon, I thought about all the times that Wayne and I had had.
When growing up was still a game.
And life was what we made it.
I thought about how we'd played at war, afternoons in Harper's Woods.
And how every night we'd shared a room.
And how much I would miss him.
I guessI wasn't the only one.
He still in there? / Yeah.
Takes awhile Kevin, uhlet me have a minute.
OK? How'd it go? You know Yeah I remember my physical - it's a real pain in the rear.
Is that what you came down to talk to me about? Nah, I guess not Wayneyou know I'm against this.
I haven't prepared you for it Dad / Let me - let me finish I haven't prepared you for anything.
You've been lookin' for my help I don't know where I've been.
I, uh I wanted so much more for ya.
I wanted - / I failed my physical.
I've got psoriasis.
They're afraid my back will really peel in the jungle.
Psoriasis Can you believe that? I couldn't even do this right.
It's OKIt's OK.
I just didn't know what else to do Love is never simple.
Not for fathers and sons.
We spend our lives full of hope and expectations.
And, most of the timewe're bound to fail.
But that afternoon, as I watched my father sheltering his son against a future that was so unsure All I knew was They didn't want to let each other down, anymore.
Name? / David Wirtshafter.
Hey, you buttheads.
Hey, you take care of yourself.
/ You take care of yourself, man.
Don't take any crud from anyone.
I won't.
Wish you were coming with me! A few days later, Wart left for basic training.
He spent two months at Fort Polk, Louisiana.
And then, David WirtshafterWas shipped to Viet Nam.
A big goofy kid.
Who didn't know what his future would be.