Arrested Development s05e15 Episode Script

1 [RON.]
Now, the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
[RON.]
It's Arrested Development.
- [AUTOHARP PLAYING "EDGE OF SEVENTEEN".]
- [COOING.]
Just like the white-winged dove Sings a song Sounds like she's singin' Ooh, baby, ooh, say ooh Oh! [GASPS.]
Look who thinks they can wear white.
You don't like this on me? Well, frankly, it's hard to think about it over the sound of Was there a cat in here? [LINDSAY.]
That was my singing.
That's my talent.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
You'll be fine.
Most people close their eyes when they plug their ears.
[LUCILLE SIPS.]
- It's not true.
- [GOB.]
It is, Michael.
- It's very impossible not to.
- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
Well, I can.
This should be my talent.
The competition's in 40 seconds.
You still have nothing? I mean, I can see that you're talking, but I just I'm not a lip-reader.
[SIGHS.]
It'll be fine, honey.
Maybe it'll be better if you don't win this one.
And you wouldn't be losing much, just a cruise with your grandmother.
Okay, I heard that.
With Lindsay out of the competition and Buster gone missing, you're my only real competition, Michael.
- What do you mean, "gone missing"? - I I told you.
My plan.
I took Buster off his leash, and I brought him down to the beach.
Don't worry, I told him how to swim.
Hmm, my only thing is, I have to figure out how to neutralize you, Michael.
[SEETHES.]
- [DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
- Oh, my Oh, my God! That was a freebie.
[STEVIE NICKS' "EDGE OF SEVENTEEN" PLAYING.]
Just like the white-winged dove Sings a song Sounds like she's singin' Ooh, ooh Ooh [COOING.]
["BALLS IN THE AIR" PLAYING.]
How much can you do? You lift and push and struggle - When the foot's on the other shoe - [RINGS CLANGING.]
Just grab ahold and juggle All those balls in the air - Ha! - How hard can it be? So hard you're getting dizzy Flip those balls In the air Keep those balls in the [MUSIC PLAYER CLICKS.]
But where did the confetti come from? From Michael's hat.
Honestly, these are so easy.
- That's it.
I'm done.
Ow.
- [DOVE COOS.]
[SQUAWKS.]
[PANTING.]
Abra cadaver.
[CHUCKLES.]
What do you think? Can we chisel off the hat of this thing without taking off the whole guy's head? - [SIGHS.]
- Oh.
Well, the competition's not over.
- We haven't even seen Lindsay.
- [SHOES CLACKING.]
[LINDSAY.]
And you never will.
I want to save you the trouble of having to close your eyes while plugging your ears.
So how's this for my talent? [RHYTHMIC CLACKING.]
[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Honestly, I don't know how Tap-Dancing Ghost doesn't take the whole thing.
Should we just throw a handkerchief over this? Michael will do something impressive.
Don't worry.
Buster went in the water.
He tried to swim.
He almost drowned.
Oh, my God! Do something! - Save him! - [MIMI MUTTERING, CLAPPING.]
No, no, no, this isn't this isn't Michael's talent.
This doesn't This doesn't count! Who took off his gentleman collar? Oh, spirit of this dead bird, fly into my dead brother! [MICHAEL EXHALES.]
- [COUGHING.]
- [LUCILLE GASPS.]
Oh! - Oh! - [GASPING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
I'm not too bad at this thing.
[GEORGE SR.
.]
Well, we all know who the hero is today.
We have our new Mr.
and Mrs.
Bluth.
[LUCILLE.]
Michael and Buster.
[EXHALES.]
You're okay, honey.
Mommy's here.
And as much juice as you want tonight.
Tonight, you get juice.
[EXHALES.]
[GULLS CRYING.]
[UPBEAT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[RON.]
It was the day of Buster's trial.
And while the Bluth family was - feeling tense - You okay? - Uh-uh.
- they were hoping the same - was not true for their attorney.
- [BUSTER.]
Where is Dusty? Oh, he wants to make an entrance.
I I think he's gonna come in nice and relaxed.
And thank you again for being a team player on that one.
Believe me, the guilt will fade.
I mean, I've cheated on you a thousand times.
I mean, almost makes up for the permanent damage you did to my endocrine system.
- [DUSTY.]
Oh, God! God! - [LUCILLE.]
Uh-oh.
- Easy.
- Oh, man.
What a [BLEEP.]
day! Sorry.
Just I heard my my dad's in the hospital.
Just - [LUCILLE.]
No, don't worry about that.
- I didn't need this today.
Don't worry about that.
You need to focus on your opening statement.
I go first? You said I was second.
I'm not ready! - You are second.
- [EXHALES.]
All rise for the Honorable Judge Spencer Stanley presiding.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [STANLEY.]
Please be seated.
- I cannot wait to see her reaction when she sees him.
You cut your hair.
Eh.
Yeah.
[WHISPERING.]
Does she look rattled to you? [RON.]
And soon, Michael arrived, just in time for the opening argument.
[LOTTIE.]
the defense will probably have you review a video, the one here, where they'll claim that he had merely approached and discovered a body on the stairs, and then claim it miraculously disappeared.
It did.
And so, it would seem that it did.
Unless a closer look was made of the time code.
- [BUSTER MUTTERS ON VIDEO.]
- [LOTTIE.]
We'll learn that the gap was the result of Buster trying to destroy the evidence.
And we'll also review footage of the same stair car on a bluff over the ocean and a man who appears to be Mr.
Bluth tossing what appears to be Ms.
Austero into the surf.
- [BUSTER MUTTERS ON VIDEO.]
- [SPLASH ON VIDEO.]
Let's remember why we're all here.
To honor the life of the most charitable, vibrant, balanced, beautiful woman named Lucille this town has ever known.
- [SNORTS.]
Burn.
- [GAVEL BANGS.]
It's just that my mother's name is Lucille as well, - so the the burn was on her.
- [STANLEY.]
I'll allow the burn.
Mr.
Radler, you may begin your opening argument - for the defense.
- I I know.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- [BUSTER GASPS.]
- [DUSTY.]
Oh! - [RON.]
Things were off to a bad start.
- But on the plus side - [LOTTIE.]
If you find that funny, wait till you hear the defense's opening argument.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Dusty got the laugh he'd hoped for - at the start of his defense.
- [DUSTY GROANS.]
Uh, I I didn't know about the videotape.
[CHUCKLING.]
So, I mean, what If you'll [COUGHS.]
please [VOICE CRACKS.]
I [CROAKS.]
I'm Hmm.
Yeah.
[STAMMERS.]
You can just see he he's throwing the body right off the cliff, so everyone's like, "Uh " [CHUCKLING.]
"I mean, what else could it be?" I didn't even know you could use videotape.
Um [RON.]
But to the Bluths' surprise, the DA didn't immediately call for a mistrial.
[DUSTY.]
I'm feeling like people are judging me, and it's just not making me feel that great.
I I feel like I got, like, totally - the hard part of this case.
- [LOTTIE HUSHES.]
- [QUIETLY.]
What the hell is going on? - [RON.]
Although she did show uncommon empathy to the opposing counsel.
[SOFTLY.]
You can do it.
You're ready.
Everything go okay last night? I think I made a terrible mistake.
[RON.]
In fact, she had, as, the night before, while believing she was paying a carnal visit to Dusty [LUCILLE.]
Oh, it's so dark in here.
[FILTERED BREATHING.]
[LUCILLE.]
Hello? [GASPS.]
- I can hear you breathing.
- [STEADY BEEPING.]
[LUCILLE CHUCKLING.]
Oh, so you did know I was coming.
Good for you, getting a head start.
- And speaking of that - [BED SQUEAKS.]
[RON.]
But, had the lights been on, Lucille would have discovered that the tubes and other accoutrements weren't there - for Dusty's erotic entertainment - [FLATLINING.]
- but were instead the implements - [GASPS.]
that kept Dusty's centenarian father alive.
- So, Lottie is his ex? - [SIGHS.]
Stepmom.
[DUSTY.]
I really appreciate this, Lottie.
Please.
I've known you since you were 30! And you can call me "Mom.
" Mom.
If If the judge will allow it, permission to hug the defense counsel.
Hell yeah.
Let's get the hug on.
- [DUSTY.]
Yeah! Yeah! - [LOTTIE LAUGHING.]
[GALLERY.]
Aw.
- [LOTTIE.]
Oh! My baby! [LAUGHS.]
- [APPLAUSE.]
[RON.]
It would've been a great ending for a feel-good movie, but it was a horrible beginning for a gruesome murder trial.
What a [BLEEP.]
baby! [CHUCKLES.]
- Shut up, murderer! - [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[QUIETLY.]
Well, he is.
Clearly is.
[RON.]
And during a break in both the trial and the hug of the opposing attorneys, Lucille caught up with Dusty.
I was a little nervous.
For my first murder trial, though, my first anything trial, not bad, right? That was humiliating.
I thought Lottie was your ex-wife.
Nah.
I mean, she's a little old for me, don't you think? She's, like [EXHALES.]
your age.
Look, I'm sorry.
Maybe I wasn't clear about our relationship.
Uh, are you super mad at me? Oh, for God's sakes, stop talking like a child.
I mean, how old are you? - Fifty-six and a half.
- Jesus! Pull yourself together.
Absolutely.
Not gonna let that ruin my recess.
There you are.
Okay.
Now, Mom, what in the hell was that? I thought this was Dustin Radler, the fierce trial attorney, the only one who's ever beaten Lottie.
Well, as it turns out, the Dustin Radler I've been with is his son.
Oh, my God, he's a motherboy.
There were There were no hints before today? [LUCILLE.]
Just that I only ever seem to create or attract them.
You got us into this mess.
What are you gonna do? All right.
I made an awful choice, but did I give you a hard time when you gave all our life rights to Imagine Films to make some TV show? - That was somewhat amiss of you.
- [MICHAEL.]
Yes, you did.
As it turns out, nothing came of that project, which I predicted.
Just like I predicted your bet on the DA calling a mistrial wasn't exactly beating the odds.
- She offered him gum.
- [LUCILLE.]
Okay, I hired a completely incompetent lawyer and put my son's life in the hands of a moron, and I know what you want me to say, Michael.
Okay, I'll say it My bad! [LUCILLE SIGHS.]
Wow.
I don't think that I have heard you apologize since, um, uh, since people used to use that phrase to apologize.
Okay, well, I think we may have to beg the judge - to declare a mistrial.
- [LUCILLE.]
No.
We have to do this now while they still don't have a body.
It's our best chance for acquittal.
We'll work with what we have.
Maybe her maternal instincts will kick in, and we'll benefit from her being his stepmother.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
He's not a child, after all.
It occurs to me that he may not come back from recess unless he hears a bell.
I'll get him.
[RON.]
As the trial was continuing, Dusty was desperate for any kind of witness.
- [TOBIAS.]
Guys and Dolls - [RON.]
Even one that came - with a headshot.
- I was more than interested to try out to be one of the character witnesses in Buster's trial.
- Thank you for offering.
- [BUSTER.]
That's very nice.
Oh, please.
I know the Buster character better than anyone.
I could play Buster with one arm tied behind my back.
In fact, I've played Buster with two arms tied behind my back.
I was handcuffed.
Well, this is [GRUNTS.]
They're buying it! [CHUCKLING.]
Now, that's a witness.
Um, we don't need you to play Buster on the stand, more just talk about him as a person.
Oh.
Well, you don't think I'd be more appealing as the accused? I mean, the Buster I played could never kill.
[DUSTY.]
Yeah, it's it's really not an acting job, man.
I can't [TOBIAS.]
Yes, yes, just don't push.
I get it.
Just tell the story the way you told it to me earlier today.
Beginning with what you were doing the night of the murder.
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Alleged murder.
Alleged.
[TOBIAS.]
Yes, yes.
[TAKES DEEP BREATH.]
It was Cinco de Cuatro! [DUSTY.]
No, no, no, I'm I'm gonna stop you there.
- I still feel you're acting.
- Really? - A little.
I do.
- Huh.
[TOBIAS.]
So, just no script at all? Just vérité? Okay.
Well, uh, here it is with nothing.
I needed somebody to play a part in my Fantastic for legal purposes, I can't say the rest of it musical, and Buster happily filled in.
[RON.]
Well, "happily" might have been an overstatement.
I've got a show to do in ten minutes, and I haven't got a Thing to wear this Thing suit.
I gotta find Lucille 2.
I gotta give her pictures.
I don't know the songs.
You're a monster.
You don't have to be any good.
- What? - [TOBIAS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
So, you're saying Buster was performing as the rock monster when the murder allegedly took place? Is that true, Buster? That's what I told you.
He asked me to that night.
And you'll confirm that on the stand? I will.
I'll do it in an English accent! [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Nay, nay, I shan't.
I shall stick to the script.
Not script.
Nope.
Vérité.
I have taken the note vérité.
- Yes, yes.
- Great.
Now, I do wish I could do this gratis, but I'm having a bit of a shelter crisis of late.
- I hate to play hardball - [DUSTY.]
I don't think that they pay witnesses.
Hmm Uh, unrelated What happens to this room when you leave? Yeah, I think they lock it up at night.
Damn it.
Damn it, damn it, damn it.
Damn it! I just [SNIFFLES, VOICE BREAKING.]
need somewhere to s [SNIFFLES.]
All right, well, gentlemen, thank you so much for your time.
And I will be seeing you.
[RON.]
But back at the model home, an unemployed Michael was doing his own courtroom preparation, - when he had a visit - Hey, Dad.
from the son who had unemployed him.
Hello, son.
- Figured you'd be up here.
- Yeah.
Well, that's father-son psychic connection.
The drop stairs were down, and you were yelling, "Where is it?" Oh, that helps, too.
- Sure.
- [MICHAEL.]
Trying to find old law books.
Lottie Dottie Da did say that Dusty would give the guilty guys a run for their money.
I think she was being sarcastic, but I am free now, so I'm gonna try to help out in court, which is why I'm trying to find [GEORGE MICHAEL.]
A copy of A Few Good Men? Look at that.
How'd that get there? [CHUCKLES.]
Actually, I thought I'd find my maritime law diploma.
You know, as proof that I passed what they call the "wet bar.
" [CHUCKLES.]
You know, you may not have to get involved.
I mean, is this something maritime law even applies to here? It should.
He dumped her in the ocean.
- True.
- [BOTH.]
Allegedly.
- Obviously allegedly.
- [GEORGE MICHAEL.]
I'm worried this is part of that thing that you always do.
You try to fix things, and you end up putting yourself in the middle of them.
- You have to be the hero.
- Oh, well.
I do not get in the middle.
You dated my girlfriend.
You moved into my dorm room.
You make it sound like I'm always in your business.
- You bought my business.
- [MICHAEL.]
Well Which has been a huge headache.
Now I have to deliver this border wall to the Chinese.
These are great points.
But what you don't know is there's a reason I had to announce that.
I know about the foot.
It's why I had to fire you, because by trying to fix things, you just end up putting yourself in the middle of a much bigger risk.
'Cause if you think the Chinese are mad now, wait until they find out that Fakeblock is not even perfect yet.
So I hear.
[BLOCK TAPPING.]
I cannot even get past the logo, so you're close.
But I get it.
You need time and money, and I know I was against this originally, but maybe you can still sell it to Rebel.
No, I would never do that.
Thank God.
[LAUGHS.]
Because she's just using you for the software.
[LAUGHS.]
But I'm not getting in the middle.
I'm just agreeing with you.
Don't even need to know your reasons.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
But why? Just out of curiosity.
Why can't you sell Fakeblock to Rebel? And just just consider it a a question from an outsider.
[GEORGE MICHAEL.]
Because she dumped me.
You're not just trying to please me by saying this? [GEORGE MICHAEL.]
And I wish I could give her the software to get her back, but it's it's fake.
I knew it.
I knew it.
She's not over me? No, Fakeblock.
[SIGHS.]
It's fake.
There is no privacy software.
I made the whole thing up.
Made it up? You told me a lie because you I lied to you because you seemed so proud of me, and then my lying just got me in deeper and deeper, and then you bought the company, and I had to fire you so you wouldn't get in trouble, and now the whole family is in trouble, and I have no idea how to solve it.
[SIGHS.]
I'm sorry, Dad.
Are you mad? Uh, no.
Uh-uh.
I'm not I'm not mad.
I, uh I get it.
You had your reasons.
Um, I I do wish that I had not removed all of my privacy software and replaced it with Fakeblock, but on the other hand, it does explain why Pemender from Kuala Lumpur keeps signing into my LinkedIn.
[CHUCKLES.]
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
The Chinese are gonna kill us.
- I'll get us out of it.
- Please don't.
[RON.]
And back at the trial, without Tobias, Dusty was without a witness for the night of the murder.
But Lottie had found one.
I call to the witness stand Gene Parmesan.
[MAN.]
Gene Parmesan.
Gene Parmesan? Doesn't seem like he's here.
That's impossible.
He's a private detective.
He'd never be late.
Well, has anyone checked under the new bailiff? - Gene Parmesan.
- [SHRIEKS.]
Gene! [GENE.]
And I swear to tell the truth, - so help me God.
- That never gets old! I'll tell you something else that never gets old.
Whoops.
- I'm under oath.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- On the night of Cinco de Cuatro - [GENE.]
Yeah.
you were undercover, working selling donkey punch.
- Isn't that correct? - [GENE.]
Definitely undercover.
I don't need two jobs.
[CHUCKLES.]
'Cause everything's going really good.
What exactly is in a donkey punch? You know, mostly Kool-Aid.
- So it's similar to juice, then? - [GENE.]
It is.
[RON.]
Lucille was concerned.
The DA appeared to have done her homework on Buster and his lack of restraint under the influence of sugary juice.
And she found herself resenting a man - she'd once admired.
- [LOTTIE.]
Your witness.
[RON.]
But Lottie stopped short of making that point.
Do you want me to take it easy on him? Or give it to him hard? I know he's a friend of yours.
[SCOFFS.]
He's not my friend anymore.
Testifying against our family after all the times I faked being surprised by him? [RON.]
So Dusty went after the witness's credibility.
Mr.
Parmesan, you say you're a master of disguises.
How many looks are you capable of creating? [STANLEY.]
You asking me? I'm the judge.
I'm Gene Parmesan.
- [SHRIEKS.]
- You say you had an undercover job, which means you must have left the donkey punch stand.
Isn't that correct? - Yes, it is.
- So you can't dispute my client's claim that he was dressed as the rock monster out on that floating barge when the murder took place.
Allegedly.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Allegedly took place.
No, I did leave the donkey punch stand, uh, right before the play began.
Mm-hmm.
So how can you be sure that Buster didn't change into the rock suit as we've claimed? 'Cause it was me.
[RON.]
After fighting with Lucille 2, Buster did end up at the donkey punch stand It's punch, like the juice! Oh, I need some juice.
[RON.]
but flew into a rage when he saw an old rival - [BUSTER SQUEALS.]
- [RON.]
leaving behind the costume he was to be wearing, to a man who never said no to a costume or a part-time job.
That's me.
[GENE.]
Yep.
[DUSTY.]
Wha ? [RON.]
But while Gene may have undermined - Buster's alibi - Gene! [RON.]
back at the office, George Michael was worried - about his dire situation - Tickle, tickle.
- [GEORGE MICHAEL.]
Uncle Tobias, hi.
- Come on.
[RON.]
when an even more dire one came through the door.
Hey, what are you guys doing here? Well, our stay at the Spotted Palm came to a rather abrupt end when "Bev" here decided to look at her cellular telephone without holding it at arm's length and putting on her readers first.
- She blew our cover.
- [MURPHYBROWN.]
Sorry, I keep forgetting that acting is my passion.
[DEBRIE.]
It really ruined Annette's funeral, may she rest in peace.
Maeby killed Annette? Where did we land with that? Uh gore she was gored.
Yes.
Gored in the running of the bulls.
People were getting suspicious, so it had to be somewhere where there wouldn't be a body.
Or where an animal took off with the body so fast - That you couldn't get it back.
- Exactly.
That was the idea.
- Yep.
Yes.
Yep, yep.
- [DEBRIE.]
Yeah, yeah.
Good.
Well, if you guys were thinking about staying here [GASPS.]
Oh, thank you so much.
I told you he would come through! We cannot move in soon enough for you.
[LAUGHS.]
Some of our happiest days as a family were spent here.
[GEORGE MICHAEL.]
It's not an abandoned office anymore, so there are people doing work out there.
Uh-huh.
Well, if it's work you require, I suppose we can act it off.
- Yeah, that's going to be a problem.
- [TOBIAS.]
Well, surely, there must be some, uh, in-house corporate training seminar we could do or or a sexual harassment video.
I mean, I'm no Harvey Weinstein, but I'm sure I could produce one.
And I knew him.
Did I tell you that story when Mr.
Weinstein killed my ficus in the '80s? When he came over to audition me for Yes.
We all know DeBrie Bardeaux snagged a private audition with Harvey Weinstein.
Yeah, but I came on too strong, so I didn't get the part.
Yes, well, some of us weren't lucky enough to even have an audition to blow.
Gosh, I don't really know if we need any acting right now.
The stuff we're doing here, it's more about preventing hacking, protecting privacy, and stuff like that.
That's what I was trying to stop, too.
Yes, Murphybrown here is a bit of a computer whiz.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Mm He's worked on cable boxes.
[MURPHYBROWN.]
Yeah, I actually coded, like an extra layer beneath the firewall to keep your data from being exposed.
It's like a dam or, like, a a stopper, or a barrier to stop people from - Like a block? - [STAMMERS.]
Okay.
[LAUGHS.]
Can we do this in English, Professor? [MURPHYBROWN.]
Oh, s-sorry, sorry, my Sorry, my fine student.
- [TROUPE LAUGHS.]
- I need a diagram.
It makes no sense at all.
But what he's basically saying is, nobody wants to be naked underneath their underwear.
So, one adds an extra layer of protection.
It doesn't have to be denim, per se, but everybody wants to hide their privates from something.
Not everybody.
- Can you show me? - [TOBIAS.]
Oh, sure.
- [DEBRIE.]
God, yeah.
- No, your program? The The code that you wrote? [RON.]
George Michael was as surprised as the courtroom was about to be when the DA introduced a witness who would turn the whole case upside down with a sense of the dramatic.
[LOTTIE.]
Okay.
Now, Warden Gentles, you recently paid a visit to the Hollywood motion picture director Ron Howard with information about the Bluth family you thought was pertinent to a project he was working on about the Bluth family.
- Isn't that correct? - [GENTLES.]
That is correct.
- Oh, my God.
- [LOTTIE.]
This had to do with an incident in Buster Bluth's past, correct? Yes.
It is so.
And how exactly did you acquire this information? Well, if I may be eloquent, straight from the horse's mouth.
And who is the horse? Lucille Bluth, of course, of course.
[LOTTIE.]
But all that information on that case had been sealed.
[GENTLES.]
Well, all seals can come loose with a little bit of Gentles' pressuring.
[RON.]
And Lucille herself had been so loosened.
Some months earlier, Lucille had enticed Warden Gentles to a private dinner in order to get her son Buster released for a Second of July parade.
And through the course of a well-served meal, and even more frequently served bottles of wine, Lucille rekindled a friendship in order to ask for a favor.
But as the afternoon turned into evening, intimate details issued forth from a now-drunken Lucille's mouth.
Information extremely useful to a warden with ambitions of a screenwriting career, who had heard about an Imagine streaming series about this exact family.
So, while Lucille got her son out for a parade, Warden Gentles got a lot more.
In fact, the only thing guarded that evening was Warden Gentles' private trailer.
[LOTTIE.]
And you shared these stories with Ron Howard? - [RON.]
He did.
- I did.
Exhibit 3-A, Making of a Monster.
I would like to play a clip of the season finale.
[TV BEEPS.]
[RON.]
And so, they played much of the Imagine Bluth project.
Now, remember, this is really rough.
And our location guy was only able to rent out the cottage for shooting for, like, two days.
And it's all temp sound.
We haven't licensed most of this music.
What? What do you think you're doing? I told you.
I'm taking this girl who, in my opinion, has been mistreated by you for far too long on a cruise with her grandmother.
[SCOFFS.]
You're not taking her anywhere.
Oh, come on, Mom.
I am almost 14, - and you have been mistreating me.
- [YOUNG LUCILLE.]
Oh You go to your room.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- [YOUNG LUCILLE.]
How dare you? We both know that child is about to turn 18.
- Oh, that's right, it slipped my mind.
- [YOUNG LUCILLE.]
Oh, please.
That's all you've been thinking about since you put her up for adoption.
[MIMI.]
It hasn't been on your mind? You swooped in and stole her from the Standwells when you found out about the endowment, 'cause you just had to have a cottage on the beach.
[SCOFFS.]
[MIMI.]
You can say goodbye to that, honey.
Because that child is mine, and I have nothing else in my life right now.
And I'm not gonna spend the rest of it singing on a cruise ship for snifter tips.
[YOUNG LUCILLE.]
I knew this is what you were up to.
Suddenly, there's no gentleman caller in the picture, and you decide to look out for yourself? [MIMI.]
Oh, you're one to talk about looking out for yourself.
I've never been invited to this place even once, and let's not forget who paid for it.
[YOUNG LUCILLE.]
And this is how you want to be paid back? You think you're gonna walk in here and take away my child? That's not your child.
That's my child, and we both know it.
[YOUNG BUSTER.]
No.
It's not true.
I still have it! I'll still wear my gentleman's collar! But you're not my mother.
Mother's my mother, Grandmother! [SCREAMING.]
- [SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
- [THUDDING.]
[RON.]
You know, it's funny, I was actually worried about them showing this in court, but it it turned out better than I'd remembered.
And I actually think it's a good advertisement for the show.
Of course, we still haven't gotten Brian's notes.
And obviously, we're gonna put Jean Smart's face - on the stuntman.
- [CRASHING ECHOES.]
[RON.]
And Cobie did a great job, too.
You know, I I should send her something.
- Did you know about this? - [DUSTY.]
No.
My dad made us give up Netflix when they went up by two dollars.
[LOTTIE.]
Is that an accurate depiction of what Lucille told you was a true story? I'm not just saying this to suck up to Ron Howard, but I think we nailed it.
[LOTTIE.]
So, Buster Bluth has killed before in the exact same manner he killed Lucille Austero! [MAN.]
Wow.
[QUIETLY.]
Prosecution rests.
We will reconvene tomorrow.
- Mistrial! Mistrial! - Yes, yes! I missed your trial! So you sell me out to Warden Gentles? And we both know you said I wouldn't get in trouble.
- You made a promise! - No, Buster, it was a mistake! You can live with her, Dusty.
She can be your mother.
Now you made it almost impossible for me to win this case.
I mean, was that an option? Because you did almost kill my dad.
Mother and boy [RON.]
On the next Arrested Development [RON.]
George Michael discovers Murphybrown knows more about computers than he'd been letting on.
they'll just be getting this placeholder data instead of your real data.
So, like, do you want to watch Gone Girl? - Yeah.
- Okay, 'cause I just ripped it.
But guess what? They'll never know, because they will be seeing this dummy info.
- It works.
- [MURPHYBROWN.]
Mm-hmm.
Pretty much all the time.
Pretty much works.
[TROUPE LAUGHS.]
- [DEBRIE.]
It's like a big deal.
- I know.
- [MURPHYBROWN.]
Take a look at it there.
- Well, this is Fakeblock.
- You made Fakeblock.
- Mm.
Hey, do you want to see Ben Affleck's peen? [CHUCKLES, STAMMERING.]
Yeah.
Would love to.
Huh, what do we have here? - Huh.
Yep, yep.
- [KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
Huh.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]