Monk s05e15 Episode Script
Mr. Monk and the Really, Really Dead Guy
¢Ü Gonna lay down my sword and settle down by the riverside ¢Ü ¢Ü down by the riverside not gonna study war no more ¢Ü Oh, thank you.
Good night.
Been a wonderful audience.
Drive safely.
$7.
50.
Well, looks like I am walking home.
MONK Season 5 Epi.
15 Mr.
Monk and the Really, Really Dead Guy never happen on schedule.
- I was up anyway.
- Julie sick? No, I was just waiting for a call.
Met a guy who works for united.
He said he'd call me when he lands.
- Mmm, pilot.
- Co-pilot.
- What? - You know, second in command.
No real responsibility.
Not quite the same thing, is it? Isn't that what you are? When? / About three hours ago.
Happened in the park across the street.
She got away, ran for help.
I don't know how she made it this far.
- Is that cognac? - Yeah, we got that.
She worked for a pharmaceutical company.
/ That's right.
She was in town for a convention.
Her name is Jean.
Damn, you still amaze me after all these years.
How did you figure that out? - Name tag.
- Name tag.
Sorry, excuse me, excuse me.
All right.
Ooh, I have to go to the bathroom.
Here, in case you need some wipes.
- You're going in there? - That's the plan.
Oh, I'd rather you didn't.
/ Why? Just I can't it's hard to explain, okay? Please.
Okay, don't think about it.
I'll be right back.
Natalie, please don't! - Captain - Yep.
We just talked to the brother.
He said she had a date tonight with a doctor she met at the convention.
- Did the brother get a name? - Wouldn't that be nice? No luck.
We checked the hotel, - Well, we know he wears glasses.
- We figured those were hers.
They're not hers.
She was wearing contacts.
Well, that's a start.
We're looking for a doctor who's lost his spectacles.
Get those downtown.
Maybe we'll get lucky with the prescription.
Mr.
Monk, answer the phone! What? / That's the phone! Answer the phone! Mr.
Monk, please! Hello? Hello? Here, here, here! Was it him? Call him back.
It's a private number! Why didn't you answer it? - I couldn't.
I, I don't know how.
- Mr.
Monk, that was important to me.
How could you not know about cell phones? Everybody has a cell phone.
How do you function in the world? I don't.
Did you wash your hands? There, it's him! Answer it! - Stottlemeyer.
- Answer it! Yeah, we're all here on a job.
Now? Yes, sir.
That's the deputy commissioner.
We're being redeployed.
- They want you too, Monk.
- What's going on? I don't know, but it must be big.
Let forensics handle this.
- Captain, Monk.
Thank you for coming.
- You didn't give us much choice.
It's a firestorm heading right this way.
We have a body south of market.
Caucasian male.
There was a note.
It looks like a serial killer.
The mayor's on his way back from Hawaii.
Okay, Randy, you know the drill.
Let's get two dedicated phone lines upstairs Actually, Leland, you won't be quarterbacking this one.
What? / It wasn't my call.
The feds are all over it.
- That was fast.
- The mayor called them in.
Kelsey, I have been working serial cases for 20 years, since I was in pajamas.
Since when do I need a babysitter? It wasn't my call.
What is that? Mr.
Monk, that is the future of law enforcement.
- Talk to me.
- Me? Well, we just got here.
We're sort of playing catch-up.
- I don't really have any - What are you doing? - I assumed you were asking - I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Washington.
Has anything leaked to the press? Has anything leaked to the press? Yes or no? I, I don't know.
Like I said, we just got here.
Hold on.
Will somebody shut this man up? What is your problem? Was that for me? About the problem? I, I can't tell.
If it's for me, just nod.
- Nod if it's me.
- Billy, I'll call you back.
Agent Thorpe, thank you for coming.
This is captain Leland Stottlemeyer, lieutenant Disher, Natalie Teeger, and Adrian Monk.
Who's Billy? / Well, there must be two Adrian Monks.
'cause the one I've been hearing about is a world class detective.
The best of the best.
He's just never seen an earpiece phone before.
- Where's he been? In a coma? - In a coma? No.
I wish.
Welcome to San Francisco.
I guess you and I are going to be working in tandem.
I guess we are, captain.
Let me tell you my definition of tandem.
I say something, you do it.
Okay.
Your show.
Where would you like to start? I'd like to start at the ME's office.
Take a look at the body.
Fine, you can follow us.
Actually, lieutenant, I think you should follow us.
Straight up mission street, Yeah, you don't want to go up mission.
This time of night, all red lights.
Is it? - Wow, where'd you get that? - I designed it.
- Can I see it? - No.
- You see that? - Uh-huh.
Talk to me.
/ Male caucasian, I read the preliminary.
Tell me something I don't know.
Where'd we find him? In a parking lot near a TV station.
Minimal blood on the scene.
The body was probably moved postmortem.
Mr.
Monk? What are you doing? - What is he doing? - I don't know.
I don't always know.
Sorry, we were working on this case before.
We got called away.
/ That is correct.
You were called away.
Mr.
Monk, we're not worried about her.
/ We're not? Whoever that poor woman is, she is a side show.
- This is the primary right here.
- Here's the thing.
I'll tell you the thing.
The thing is over here! That case doesn't exist.
I want you to forget about her.
Cover her up.
Cover her up.
Cover her up! I want you over here.
Both of you, over here! Don't look back! Look, um we can't help you unless we know what's going on.
Can I see the file? Thank you.
What's the cause of death? Uh, blunt force trauma to the back of the cranium.
/ Oh, no.
Plus a small puncture injected with poison.
/ Oh, no! Plus signs of petechial hemorrhaging and suffocation.
/ Oh, no! Plus two gunshot wounds, four stab wounds, and a tire track across the upper torso.
- So the cause of death was - Pretty much everything.
- Why? - That, Ms.
Teeger, is the question.
That's why I'm here.
Well, we need to know what happened and when.
I suggest we start with the ballistics and the tire tracks.
Already done, captain.
Thank you.
Get the stomach contents and liver tissue to toxicology.
I want to know what he ate and where he ate it before it dissolves and disappears forever.
He played guitar.
Calluses.
According to the file, his pockets were filled with coins and tokens.
- He's probably a street musician.
- That should help ID him.
We don't need any help ID'ing him.
I just got a hit on the fingerprints.
His name is Cyrus Canning.
Good, I'll get a copy of the driver's license.
- Already done.
- How many MEs on staff? - 3, and 2 assistants.
- Wake them up.
All leaves are canceled.
I need to know the exact cause of death and the exact order these wounds were inflicted.
Well, he's pretty banged up.
It might take a while.
We don't have a while.
We have 36 hours, doctor.
This was pinned to the body.
"The cleansing has begun.
I will claim another victim in 36 hours.
" "1 P.
M.
Friday, then every 36 hours after that.
" "Signed, the Six-Way killer.
" - The Six-Way killer.
- I'll take that.
We have less than 30 hours before he strikes again.
Every second counts.
That's why I've divided the strike force.
Stottlemeyer and his group are at the secondary location - where the body was found.
- I can't find my seatbelt.
Here, maybe it's under the seat.
Mr.
Monk, are you listening? Yeah, I'm with you.
That is correct.
I read your file.
You appear to be a first-rate crime scene analyst.
- Those skills could come in handy.
- Here it is! Oh, no.
False alarm.
Mr.
Monk, we're looking for the primary location where the murder actually took place.
The victim's clothes, covered with DNA and microscopic trace evidence.
- So we're going to a crime lab? - Ms.
Teeger, you're in a crime lab.
This is the most advanced forensics laboratory in North America.
Gas chromatograph, mass spectrometer, a continuous digital uplink to FBI facilities in Quantico.
That's great.
I can't find my seatbelt.
You don't need a seatbelt.
This thing is built like a tank.
Yeah, here's the thing.
I feel better if I'm strapped in.
I could fall out and bump my head.
It's very dangerous.
I have a seatbelt.
All right, let's switch.
- Aren't you worried about her? - No, she's fine.
Is there a shoulder strap? I'm used to dual restraint.
It's just Can I get a light wave output? / Copy.
I just don't get it.
Why 36 hours? What kind of deadline is that? Why not one day? Or one week? And why six ways? It doesn't make any sense.
- Well, he's crazy.
- We think it's from the Bible.
Three 6s, it's the number of the beast.
/ No, no, no, no.
Something's wrong here.
I think we should slow down, take a step back, look at the big picture.
I don't care about the big picture.
God is in the details, Mr.
Monk.
It's all right in front of us, right here, if you know where to look.
Bingo! I have an animal hair.
Mammalian.
It's from a ferret.
A ferret? / The jacket contains perchloroethylene.
- It's a chemical used in dry cleaning.
- Ferret hairs and a dry cleaner.
These are all the pet stores in the bay area that sell ferrets.
We'll cross-check them against dry cleaners that use perchloroethylene.
Bingo! A shopping plaza, corner of Powell and Sutter.
Welcome to the 21st century, Mr.
Monk.
What are you doing? / I'm just borrowing your blackboard here.
- It helps me think.
- That's a TV monitor! So it's a combination? TV/blackboard? - No, it's not! - It is now.
What is your problem? Haven't you ever seen a plasma screen television before? What are you doing! That's hydrofluoric acid.
That's for identifying firearms.
I'm worried about mom going shopping alone.
- What do you mean? - You know, the crazy guy.
The Six-Way killer.
- Everybody's talking about it online.
- Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine.
How come you're not working on it? This FBI agent in charge, he won't even talk to me.
He thinks I'm an antique.
He's not wrong.
- I think you're a genius.
- What are you doing? Talking to my friends.
Talking to Really? This is my friend Carly.
She wants to know if I'm going to Kayla's slumber party.
Julie, do you think you could teach me? - Teach you what? - That computer Oh, yeah, sure.
It's easy.
Okay, so this is called a mouse.
Oh, God.
I know that.
I haven't been living in a cave.
- And this is a mouse pad.
- Wow, that is so rubbery.
It's outstanding.
So you slide the mouse around like this.
And you see that little arrow right there? That is called a cursor.
And it's kind of like a little pointer.
You want to try it? You think I'm ready? Mr.
Monk, you can go faster.
It's not like it's a ouija board.
Let's say you want to play extreme GoCarts.
What you gotta do is put the cursor in that little empty box right there.
Now click it.
Hey! Hey, there we go! I did it.
/ Yeah.
/ I did it.
Thanks a lot, Julie.
I feel so relieved.
Uh, Mr.
Monk, you better come back here.
There's a lot more to learn.
Is there? - Let's set you up an email account.
- Yeah, yeah.
It's so that your friend um, so my mom can send you messages.
Okay, you need a screen name.
- Mr - Monk.
And now you need your secret password.
/ Yeah.
"Trudy.
" Well, you know, everybody will probably guess that.
Let's think of something else.
Okay, let's do "Trudy.
" There you go.
You're online.
Oh Oh I'm on the web.
The world wide web.
Welcome to 1998, Mr.
Monk.
- Hello? - Natalie! Natalie, it's me, Adrian Monk.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
I'm great, Natalie.
Guess what I did.
I was playing solitaire.
And I won.
And the cards are dancing! I think they're dancing! How soon can you get here? - Mr.
Monk, what time is it? - The time is, uh oh, yeah, okay, hold on, I got this.
Hold on.
I know this, I know this.
Hold, please.
Yeah, it is exactly 2:55 A.
M.
and 44 seconds Pacific time, and 1:55 P.
M.
in Moscow, and in Singapore, it, hello? Natalie? Sweet.
Keep your eye on the clock, people! We have three hours before he strikes again.
Last night, the suspect called a local radio station.
- You have the transcript in front of you.
- If he reaches out again, the call's going to be forwarded here and we're going to try to trace it.
The Six-Way killer parked his car in this alley.
We found traces of fresh paint on the wall.
It belonged to a 2006 silver Chevy Impala.
The paint contained traces of a polymer soap which is commonly used in car washes.
We located a car wash on Geary street, where an employee named Raoul Calaro remembered seeing the suspect's car.
Mr.
Monk, what are you doing? / I'm, uh I'm, I'm just booting up.
That means "start.
" - Yes, I know.
- It's a Dell, so fully-loaded.
I'm sure it is.
Under persistent questioning, Mr.
Calaro admitted that he stole some items from the Chevy, $4 in change and some liquor.
Unfortunately, he doesn't remember the driver.
There was a security camera at the car wash.
We captured a partial image of the license plate.
Hey! Sorry, I got, I got mail.
- Bigger what, guaranteed? - May I continue? Yeah, you can talk as much as you want.
I got tons of memory.
It's called bits.
Memory, or bits of memory.
It's all, it's all the same.
The first digit is obviously a 5.
The second letter is either an F or a P.
Wait! Wait, uh wait, wait, saving, saving I think I liked you better when you were a dinosaur.
I heard that.
That's funny.
That's enough to make me LOL.
Out loud.
That's him! / Keep him talking.
We need 25 seconds.
- Hello? - Who is this? My name is captain Leland Stottlemeyer.
Who's this? I assume you're a cop.
That's right, I'm a captain with the San Francisco police department, homicide division.
And may I ask who I'm talking to? This is Six-Way, your new best friend.
Are you wearing a watch, captain? Um, oh, yes, I am.
Then you know you have 3 hours left.
The beast must be fed.
The beast? Why are you doing this? You could figure that out for yourself, Leland, if you were smart enough.
You know, I am just smart enough, beast, to know that sometimes I need the help of friends.
Relax, Leland.
We've got a long drive ahead of us.
See you around.
We got him.
He's in the Richmond district! we're there in 10 minutes.
Have the SWAT team meet us there.
We're going in hard and heavy! Saving saving saving, powering down.
FBI! FBI! Everybody down! Everybody down! Let me see your hands! - What the hell happened here? - I don't know.
Mr.
Monk, come on.
You.
How old are you? - Are you a child or a man? - Thorpe, hang on.
It's my call, captain! We are men trying to do a job.
There's a killer out there.
If you can't help, it's your responsibility to step aside.
I'm sending you home.
- Go home now.
- Here's the Don't talk! We're not talking.
You don't belong here.
Turn around.
Do it! Now walk away.
That's right, walk away.
Keep walking.
Don't look back! Good-bye, Mr.
Monk.
You know it's all over the news, right? The 1 o'clock deadline, the Six-Way killer - It's really frightening.
- I think there's more to it.
I'm not sure this guy is a real serial killer.
I guess it doesn't matter what I think.
- Why, you're no longer on the case? - Not just the case.
I'll probably never get back on the force.
The agent in charge made sure of that.
He said there's no room for a dinosaur like me in modern law enforcement.
Well, I'm sorry.
I don't know how it happened.
At some point, I just got stuck.
The world kept turning and changing.
Microchips, cell phones, TV screen blackboards And I didn't.
I didn't change.
You know, Adrian, I think that this is your way of keeping your mind clear.
No, no, no, no.
So that you can focus on what's really important.
Adrian, let's not forget you've put a lot of very dangerous people behind bars without the use of a computer.
Your mind is amazing.
No, no, really.
You make connections and leaps intuitively.
No machine could ever do that.
You know, maybe a computer would just slow you down.
- Maybe you're right.
- Yes.
Yeah, you know you're like John Henry, man vs.
the machine.
You know that song? / No.
I was, um I was in a folk singing group in college.
We always used to end each show singing that song.
- You never heard it? - Uh, no.
Uh-uh.
¢Ü When John Henry was a little baby he sat on his momma's knee ¢Ü ¢Ü he picked up a hammer, a piece of steel said hammer will be the death of me ¢Ü ¢Ü Lord, lord ¢Ü ¢Ü hammer will be the death of me, yes! ¢Ü Well Okay, okay then.
Thank you.
Adrian, the point is that he was a steel driver.
There was a big contest between John Henry and the big, new, modern steam drill, and John Henry won.
- He, he did? - He won, yes.
I mean, absolutely.
That's why I'm telling you this.
Oh yeah.
He won, he was a hero.
Everybody loved him.
God, I just loved it when everybody joined in on that last verse.
Really? ¢Ü When John Henry was hammering that mountain mountain was spitting fire ¢Ü ¢Ü he worked so hard that he broke his heart ¢Ü ¢Ü laid down his hammer and he died ¢Ü ¢Ü lord, lord ¢Ü ¢Ü he laid down his hammer ¢Ü ¢Ü and he died ¢Ü So he he died? Oh.
Yeah, I guess he did.
No, no, no, in this version.
You know, there were a lot of versions.
- I think our time is up.
- No, no, no, it's not, Adrian.
- Yeah, I think our time is up.
- No, it's only 20 after.
Adrian, no, really.
Ad, Adri This body's pretty badly mutilated.
We're gonna need a little more time.
We don't have any more time, doctor.
What the hell have you been doing? We've been working 24/7 on this case like you told us.
Okay, all right.
Here's my best guess.
The victim was hit first, but the blow didn't kill him.
Cause of death was probably suffocation.
The other injuries were inflicted postmortem.
Keep going, keep working.
Call me back when you're sure.
Cause of death, suffocation.
Let's add that to the psychological profile.
You're wrong about Adrian Monk.
- Am I? - Yep.
I know he's a little strange and he can be difficult but, I can tell you of at least 12 different cases where all of the evidence Captain Stottlemeyer you're looking at $1/2 billion worth of equipment.
Are you trying to tell me that your funny little friend is smarter than all of this? Yes, I am.
Is that a radar detector? / No.
You wouldn't tell me if it was, would you? It's not a radar detector.
Right.
Here's an updated profile.
Suffocation indicates the assault was personal, motivated by repressed anger.
Choice of street performer as victim may be significant.
The suspect's father was probably a failed musician.
- So he hates street musicians.
- Who doesn't? We can nail this bastard.
Sweep the city.
I want all musicians off the street, except one.
¢Ü Well, I'm tired of sucking up and working for the man ¢Ü - ¢Ü keep the people down ¢Ü - Bravo one, good to go.
Bravo two, locked and loaded.
¢Ü Cuff my brothers and sisters oh, that's not the way to be ¢Ü ¢Ü 'cause, baby, those days are gone the music set me free ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a captain to make me feel strong ¢Ü - There's a flaw in your plan.
- What's that? Well, the first person that attacks him might not necessarily be your serial killer.
- It would be me.
- 27 minutes.
Well, that was the captain.
They're all at the Sheridan square trying to stake it out.
- Want to go check it out? - Nah, I'd just be in the way.
Here's where I belong.
In there.
Why don't you call Dr.
Walsh? Tell him to meet me here.
He can stuff me and put me on display with all the other relics.
Come on, Mr.
Monk.
You know the medical examiner's a little busy today.
Everybody's working on the big case.
What? - What did you say? - I said they're too busy.
They're all working on the Six-Way killer thing.
That's right.
Natalie, you're right! That's the key! Everybody is too busy.
- What time is it? - It's 12:45.
Come on! - What's going on? - I'll tell you in the car.
Let's go! ¢Ü I don't need a captain to make me feel strong ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge to tell me wrong from right ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge to tell me day from night ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need nobody 'cause, baby, I am free ¢Ü This is a complete waste of time.
You know that, don't you? Did you say something? Yeah, yeah.
I said, uh, I think Monk's right, sir.
I've never read one of these psychological profiles that meant squat.
Particularly if it was compiled by one of these gizmos.
These gizmos, as you call them, are gonna catch our killer.
- Mark my words.
- Southeast corner.
¢Ü Cleaning up the streets, God bless.
Poppa's got a new gig, ¢Ü ¢Ü he's got a brand new ¢Ü Male caucasian, green jacket.
He fits the profile! Everybody stay frosty! ¢Ü and music set me free ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge to tell me wrong from right ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge 'cause my eyes can see ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge 'cause, baby, I am free ¢Ü - This guy looks like approaching.
- Moving in.
¢Ü I don't need a badge ¢Ü Move, move.
Down on the ground! Get down! FBI! Stay down! Let me see your hands! Easy, easy.
Stand down.
Harmonica.
/ I was just gonna play with him.
Yeah.
You hurt? - Just your pride, right? - What do you mean? Never mind.
/ It's a message from your friend Natalie Teeger.
She said, "Monk just solved the case.
" You got, like, 5 bucks in there.
- Really? - Yeah.
What the hell's going on? Who told you to stop? I did.
/ What are you doing? I told you before.
She doesn't matter.
Actually, agent Thorpe, she not only matters, she is the key to this whole case.
Your so-called Six-Way killer killed her first.
The other kid, the street musician, was just a diversion.
It's true.
Captain, the same guy killed both.
You found a liquor bottle in the killer's car.
Remember, there was a cognac stain on her sleeve.
Monk.
Do you know who did it? She'll tell us if it's not too late.
We've already wasted a day and a half.
It was the deadline, 36 hours.
It seemed so arbitrary, didn't it? I mean, when you really stopped and thought about it Then Natalie reminded me how hard everybody was working on the Six-Way killer case.
And I wondered, "who would benefit from that?" And there's only one answer.
The man who killed this woman.
Here's what happened.
Ms.
Garnett met a doctor at the convention.
He took her out to dinner.
I don't know what they ordered, but it must've been pretty special.
- Why do you say that? - Bcause whatever it was, it could've been traced back to that restaurant.
That meal, what they ate, that's what this whole case has been about.
He must've paid for it with a credit card.
Something that we could trace later.
Just listen.
They ended up at Mt.
Davidson park.
Something went wrong.
We'll never know exactly what happened.
All we know is that she got away.
She ran across the street to the gas station.
But now the killer had a problem.
He was a doctor.
So he knew there'd be an autopsy and that we'd be able to trace whatever she had for dinner.
But he also knew that if he could stall us, distract us, eventually the food in her stomach would be digested.
And the evidence would be gone.
/36 hours.
Exactly.
Everything's gone in a day and a half, even after death.
So he distracted us.
He picked a victim at random, a street performer.
And he killed him in a particularly gruesome way.
Six particularly gruesome ways, actually.
He wrote a note, he called us, he taunted us.
Anything to keep our attention off of her.
/ Here it is.
What the hell is that? These shiny little flecks.
- Are those flower petals? - I don't know.
- It's a gold leaf cake! - What? They use real rose petals and flecks of gold.
I had it once at this restaurant called Justine's.
They call it the world's most romantic dessert.
Looked better on the plate.
It's the deadline.
Help me turn this damn thing off.
Dr.
Leven? These belong to you? Hey, you were right.
One of your gizmos caught the killer.
- Nice shot.
- Yeah, I nailed him.
Here.
"Dear Kimberly," "I am sorry that I inadvertently sent the SWAT team to Kayla's slumber party" "and made you cry.
I'm sorry about the nightmares.
" "It will never happen again.
Adrian Monk.
" Very good.
This next one is for Allison.
"Dear Allison" Mr.
Monk, that's gonna take you forever.
Why don't you just borrow my No, thank you.
I'm fine.
Good night.
Been a wonderful audience.
Drive safely.
$7.
50.
Well, looks like I am walking home.
MONK Season 5 Epi.
15 Mr.
Monk and the Really, Really Dead Guy never happen on schedule.
- I was up anyway.
- Julie sick? No, I was just waiting for a call.
Met a guy who works for united.
He said he'd call me when he lands.
- Mmm, pilot.
- Co-pilot.
- What? - You know, second in command.
No real responsibility.
Not quite the same thing, is it? Isn't that what you are? When? / About three hours ago.
Happened in the park across the street.
She got away, ran for help.
I don't know how she made it this far.
- Is that cognac? - Yeah, we got that.
She worked for a pharmaceutical company.
/ That's right.
She was in town for a convention.
Her name is Jean.
Damn, you still amaze me after all these years.
How did you figure that out? - Name tag.
- Name tag.
Sorry, excuse me, excuse me.
All right.
Ooh, I have to go to the bathroom.
Here, in case you need some wipes.
- You're going in there? - That's the plan.
Oh, I'd rather you didn't.
/ Why? Just I can't it's hard to explain, okay? Please.
Okay, don't think about it.
I'll be right back.
Natalie, please don't! - Captain - Yep.
We just talked to the brother.
He said she had a date tonight with a doctor she met at the convention.
- Did the brother get a name? - Wouldn't that be nice? No luck.
We checked the hotel, - Well, we know he wears glasses.
- We figured those were hers.
They're not hers.
She was wearing contacts.
Well, that's a start.
We're looking for a doctor who's lost his spectacles.
Get those downtown.
Maybe we'll get lucky with the prescription.
Mr.
Monk, answer the phone! What? / That's the phone! Answer the phone! Mr.
Monk, please! Hello? Hello? Here, here, here! Was it him? Call him back.
It's a private number! Why didn't you answer it? - I couldn't.
I, I don't know how.
- Mr.
Monk, that was important to me.
How could you not know about cell phones? Everybody has a cell phone.
How do you function in the world? I don't.
Did you wash your hands? There, it's him! Answer it! - Stottlemeyer.
- Answer it! Yeah, we're all here on a job.
Now? Yes, sir.
That's the deputy commissioner.
We're being redeployed.
- They want you too, Monk.
- What's going on? I don't know, but it must be big.
Let forensics handle this.
- Captain, Monk.
Thank you for coming.
- You didn't give us much choice.
It's a firestorm heading right this way.
We have a body south of market.
Caucasian male.
There was a note.
It looks like a serial killer.
The mayor's on his way back from Hawaii.
Okay, Randy, you know the drill.
Let's get two dedicated phone lines upstairs Actually, Leland, you won't be quarterbacking this one.
What? / It wasn't my call.
The feds are all over it.
- That was fast.
- The mayor called them in.
Kelsey, I have been working serial cases for 20 years, since I was in pajamas.
Since when do I need a babysitter? It wasn't my call.
What is that? Mr.
Monk, that is the future of law enforcement.
- Talk to me.
- Me? Well, we just got here.
We're sort of playing catch-up.
- I don't really have any - What are you doing? - I assumed you were asking - I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Washington.
Has anything leaked to the press? Has anything leaked to the press? Yes or no? I, I don't know.
Like I said, we just got here.
Hold on.
Will somebody shut this man up? What is your problem? Was that for me? About the problem? I, I can't tell.
If it's for me, just nod.
- Nod if it's me.
- Billy, I'll call you back.
Agent Thorpe, thank you for coming.
This is captain Leland Stottlemeyer, lieutenant Disher, Natalie Teeger, and Adrian Monk.
Who's Billy? / Well, there must be two Adrian Monks.
'cause the one I've been hearing about is a world class detective.
The best of the best.
He's just never seen an earpiece phone before.
- Where's he been? In a coma? - In a coma? No.
I wish.
Welcome to San Francisco.
I guess you and I are going to be working in tandem.
I guess we are, captain.
Let me tell you my definition of tandem.
I say something, you do it.
Okay.
Your show.
Where would you like to start? I'd like to start at the ME's office.
Take a look at the body.
Fine, you can follow us.
Actually, lieutenant, I think you should follow us.
Straight up mission street, Yeah, you don't want to go up mission.
This time of night, all red lights.
Is it? - Wow, where'd you get that? - I designed it.
- Can I see it? - No.
- You see that? - Uh-huh.
Talk to me.
/ Male caucasian, I read the preliminary.
Tell me something I don't know.
Where'd we find him? In a parking lot near a TV station.
Minimal blood on the scene.
The body was probably moved postmortem.
Mr.
Monk? What are you doing? - What is he doing? - I don't know.
I don't always know.
Sorry, we were working on this case before.
We got called away.
/ That is correct.
You were called away.
Mr.
Monk, we're not worried about her.
/ We're not? Whoever that poor woman is, she is a side show.
- This is the primary right here.
- Here's the thing.
I'll tell you the thing.
The thing is over here! That case doesn't exist.
I want you to forget about her.
Cover her up.
Cover her up.
Cover her up! I want you over here.
Both of you, over here! Don't look back! Look, um we can't help you unless we know what's going on.
Can I see the file? Thank you.
What's the cause of death? Uh, blunt force trauma to the back of the cranium.
/ Oh, no.
Plus a small puncture injected with poison.
/ Oh, no! Plus signs of petechial hemorrhaging and suffocation.
/ Oh, no! Plus two gunshot wounds, four stab wounds, and a tire track across the upper torso.
- So the cause of death was - Pretty much everything.
- Why? - That, Ms.
Teeger, is the question.
That's why I'm here.
Well, we need to know what happened and when.
I suggest we start with the ballistics and the tire tracks.
Already done, captain.
Thank you.
Get the stomach contents and liver tissue to toxicology.
I want to know what he ate and where he ate it before it dissolves and disappears forever.
He played guitar.
Calluses.
According to the file, his pockets were filled with coins and tokens.
- He's probably a street musician.
- That should help ID him.
We don't need any help ID'ing him.
I just got a hit on the fingerprints.
His name is Cyrus Canning.
Good, I'll get a copy of the driver's license.
- Already done.
- How many MEs on staff? - 3, and 2 assistants.
- Wake them up.
All leaves are canceled.
I need to know the exact cause of death and the exact order these wounds were inflicted.
Well, he's pretty banged up.
It might take a while.
We don't have a while.
We have 36 hours, doctor.
This was pinned to the body.
"The cleansing has begun.
I will claim another victim in 36 hours.
" "1 P.
M.
Friday, then every 36 hours after that.
" "Signed, the Six-Way killer.
" - The Six-Way killer.
- I'll take that.
We have less than 30 hours before he strikes again.
Every second counts.
That's why I've divided the strike force.
Stottlemeyer and his group are at the secondary location - where the body was found.
- I can't find my seatbelt.
Here, maybe it's under the seat.
Mr.
Monk, are you listening? Yeah, I'm with you.
That is correct.
I read your file.
You appear to be a first-rate crime scene analyst.
- Those skills could come in handy.
- Here it is! Oh, no.
False alarm.
Mr.
Monk, we're looking for the primary location where the murder actually took place.
The victim's clothes, covered with DNA and microscopic trace evidence.
- So we're going to a crime lab? - Ms.
Teeger, you're in a crime lab.
This is the most advanced forensics laboratory in North America.
Gas chromatograph, mass spectrometer, a continuous digital uplink to FBI facilities in Quantico.
That's great.
I can't find my seatbelt.
You don't need a seatbelt.
This thing is built like a tank.
Yeah, here's the thing.
I feel better if I'm strapped in.
I could fall out and bump my head.
It's very dangerous.
I have a seatbelt.
All right, let's switch.
- Aren't you worried about her? - No, she's fine.
Is there a shoulder strap? I'm used to dual restraint.
It's just Can I get a light wave output? / Copy.
I just don't get it.
Why 36 hours? What kind of deadline is that? Why not one day? Or one week? And why six ways? It doesn't make any sense.
- Well, he's crazy.
- We think it's from the Bible.
Three 6s, it's the number of the beast.
/ No, no, no, no.
Something's wrong here.
I think we should slow down, take a step back, look at the big picture.
I don't care about the big picture.
God is in the details, Mr.
Monk.
It's all right in front of us, right here, if you know where to look.
Bingo! I have an animal hair.
Mammalian.
It's from a ferret.
A ferret? / The jacket contains perchloroethylene.
- It's a chemical used in dry cleaning.
- Ferret hairs and a dry cleaner.
These are all the pet stores in the bay area that sell ferrets.
We'll cross-check them against dry cleaners that use perchloroethylene.
Bingo! A shopping plaza, corner of Powell and Sutter.
Welcome to the 21st century, Mr.
Monk.
What are you doing? / I'm just borrowing your blackboard here.
- It helps me think.
- That's a TV monitor! So it's a combination? TV/blackboard? - No, it's not! - It is now.
What is your problem? Haven't you ever seen a plasma screen television before? What are you doing! That's hydrofluoric acid.
That's for identifying firearms.
I'm worried about mom going shopping alone.
- What do you mean? - You know, the crazy guy.
The Six-Way killer.
- Everybody's talking about it online.
- Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine.
How come you're not working on it? This FBI agent in charge, he won't even talk to me.
He thinks I'm an antique.
He's not wrong.
- I think you're a genius.
- What are you doing? Talking to my friends.
Talking to Really? This is my friend Carly.
She wants to know if I'm going to Kayla's slumber party.
Julie, do you think you could teach me? - Teach you what? - That computer Oh, yeah, sure.
It's easy.
Okay, so this is called a mouse.
Oh, God.
I know that.
I haven't been living in a cave.
- And this is a mouse pad.
- Wow, that is so rubbery.
It's outstanding.
So you slide the mouse around like this.
And you see that little arrow right there? That is called a cursor.
And it's kind of like a little pointer.
You want to try it? You think I'm ready? Mr.
Monk, you can go faster.
It's not like it's a ouija board.
Let's say you want to play extreme GoCarts.
What you gotta do is put the cursor in that little empty box right there.
Now click it.
Hey! Hey, there we go! I did it.
/ Yeah.
/ I did it.
Thanks a lot, Julie.
I feel so relieved.
Uh, Mr.
Monk, you better come back here.
There's a lot more to learn.
Is there? - Let's set you up an email account.
- Yeah, yeah.
It's so that your friend um, so my mom can send you messages.
Okay, you need a screen name.
- Mr - Monk.
And now you need your secret password.
/ Yeah.
"Trudy.
" Well, you know, everybody will probably guess that.
Let's think of something else.
Okay, let's do "Trudy.
" There you go.
You're online.
Oh Oh I'm on the web.
The world wide web.
Welcome to 1998, Mr.
Monk.
- Hello? - Natalie! Natalie, it's me, Adrian Monk.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
I'm great, Natalie.
Guess what I did.
I was playing solitaire.
And I won.
And the cards are dancing! I think they're dancing! How soon can you get here? - Mr.
Monk, what time is it? - The time is, uh oh, yeah, okay, hold on, I got this.
Hold on.
I know this, I know this.
Hold, please.
Yeah, it is exactly 2:55 A.
M.
and 44 seconds Pacific time, and 1:55 P.
M.
in Moscow, and in Singapore, it, hello? Natalie? Sweet.
Keep your eye on the clock, people! We have three hours before he strikes again.
Last night, the suspect called a local radio station.
- You have the transcript in front of you.
- If he reaches out again, the call's going to be forwarded here and we're going to try to trace it.
The Six-Way killer parked his car in this alley.
We found traces of fresh paint on the wall.
It belonged to a 2006 silver Chevy Impala.
The paint contained traces of a polymer soap which is commonly used in car washes.
We located a car wash on Geary street, where an employee named Raoul Calaro remembered seeing the suspect's car.
Mr.
Monk, what are you doing? / I'm, uh I'm, I'm just booting up.
That means "start.
" - Yes, I know.
- It's a Dell, so fully-loaded.
I'm sure it is.
Under persistent questioning, Mr.
Calaro admitted that he stole some items from the Chevy, $4 in change and some liquor.
Unfortunately, he doesn't remember the driver.
There was a security camera at the car wash.
We captured a partial image of the license plate.
Hey! Sorry, I got, I got mail.
- Bigger what, guaranteed? - May I continue? Yeah, you can talk as much as you want.
I got tons of memory.
It's called bits.
Memory, or bits of memory.
It's all, it's all the same.
The first digit is obviously a 5.
The second letter is either an F or a P.
Wait! Wait, uh wait, wait, saving, saving I think I liked you better when you were a dinosaur.
I heard that.
That's funny.
That's enough to make me LOL.
Out loud.
That's him! / Keep him talking.
We need 25 seconds.
- Hello? - Who is this? My name is captain Leland Stottlemeyer.
Who's this? I assume you're a cop.
That's right, I'm a captain with the San Francisco police department, homicide division.
And may I ask who I'm talking to? This is Six-Way, your new best friend.
Are you wearing a watch, captain? Um, oh, yes, I am.
Then you know you have 3 hours left.
The beast must be fed.
The beast? Why are you doing this? You could figure that out for yourself, Leland, if you were smart enough.
You know, I am just smart enough, beast, to know that sometimes I need the help of friends.
Relax, Leland.
We've got a long drive ahead of us.
See you around.
We got him.
He's in the Richmond district! we're there in 10 minutes.
Have the SWAT team meet us there.
We're going in hard and heavy! Saving saving saving, powering down.
FBI! FBI! Everybody down! Everybody down! Let me see your hands! - What the hell happened here? - I don't know.
Mr.
Monk, come on.
You.
How old are you? - Are you a child or a man? - Thorpe, hang on.
It's my call, captain! We are men trying to do a job.
There's a killer out there.
If you can't help, it's your responsibility to step aside.
I'm sending you home.
- Go home now.
- Here's the Don't talk! We're not talking.
You don't belong here.
Turn around.
Do it! Now walk away.
That's right, walk away.
Keep walking.
Don't look back! Good-bye, Mr.
Monk.
You know it's all over the news, right? The 1 o'clock deadline, the Six-Way killer - It's really frightening.
- I think there's more to it.
I'm not sure this guy is a real serial killer.
I guess it doesn't matter what I think.
- Why, you're no longer on the case? - Not just the case.
I'll probably never get back on the force.
The agent in charge made sure of that.
He said there's no room for a dinosaur like me in modern law enforcement.
Well, I'm sorry.
I don't know how it happened.
At some point, I just got stuck.
The world kept turning and changing.
Microchips, cell phones, TV screen blackboards And I didn't.
I didn't change.
You know, Adrian, I think that this is your way of keeping your mind clear.
No, no, no, no.
So that you can focus on what's really important.
Adrian, let's not forget you've put a lot of very dangerous people behind bars without the use of a computer.
Your mind is amazing.
No, no, really.
You make connections and leaps intuitively.
No machine could ever do that.
You know, maybe a computer would just slow you down.
- Maybe you're right.
- Yes.
Yeah, you know you're like John Henry, man vs.
the machine.
You know that song? / No.
I was, um I was in a folk singing group in college.
We always used to end each show singing that song.
- You never heard it? - Uh, no.
Uh-uh.
¢Ü When John Henry was a little baby he sat on his momma's knee ¢Ü ¢Ü he picked up a hammer, a piece of steel said hammer will be the death of me ¢Ü ¢Ü Lord, lord ¢Ü ¢Ü hammer will be the death of me, yes! ¢Ü Well Okay, okay then.
Thank you.
Adrian, the point is that he was a steel driver.
There was a big contest between John Henry and the big, new, modern steam drill, and John Henry won.
- He, he did? - He won, yes.
I mean, absolutely.
That's why I'm telling you this.
Oh yeah.
He won, he was a hero.
Everybody loved him.
God, I just loved it when everybody joined in on that last verse.
Really? ¢Ü When John Henry was hammering that mountain mountain was spitting fire ¢Ü ¢Ü he worked so hard that he broke his heart ¢Ü ¢Ü laid down his hammer and he died ¢Ü ¢Ü lord, lord ¢Ü ¢Ü he laid down his hammer ¢Ü ¢Ü and he died ¢Ü So he he died? Oh.
Yeah, I guess he did.
No, no, no, in this version.
You know, there were a lot of versions.
- I think our time is up.
- No, no, no, it's not, Adrian.
- Yeah, I think our time is up.
- No, it's only 20 after.
Adrian, no, really.
Ad, Adri This body's pretty badly mutilated.
We're gonna need a little more time.
We don't have any more time, doctor.
What the hell have you been doing? We've been working 24/7 on this case like you told us.
Okay, all right.
Here's my best guess.
The victim was hit first, but the blow didn't kill him.
Cause of death was probably suffocation.
The other injuries were inflicted postmortem.
Keep going, keep working.
Call me back when you're sure.
Cause of death, suffocation.
Let's add that to the psychological profile.
You're wrong about Adrian Monk.
- Am I? - Yep.
I know he's a little strange and he can be difficult but, I can tell you of at least 12 different cases where all of the evidence Captain Stottlemeyer you're looking at $1/2 billion worth of equipment.
Are you trying to tell me that your funny little friend is smarter than all of this? Yes, I am.
Is that a radar detector? / No.
You wouldn't tell me if it was, would you? It's not a radar detector.
Right.
Here's an updated profile.
Suffocation indicates the assault was personal, motivated by repressed anger.
Choice of street performer as victim may be significant.
The suspect's father was probably a failed musician.
- So he hates street musicians.
- Who doesn't? We can nail this bastard.
Sweep the city.
I want all musicians off the street, except one.
¢Ü Well, I'm tired of sucking up and working for the man ¢Ü - ¢Ü keep the people down ¢Ü - Bravo one, good to go.
Bravo two, locked and loaded.
¢Ü Cuff my brothers and sisters oh, that's not the way to be ¢Ü ¢Ü 'cause, baby, those days are gone the music set me free ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a captain to make me feel strong ¢Ü - There's a flaw in your plan.
- What's that? Well, the first person that attacks him might not necessarily be your serial killer.
- It would be me.
- 27 minutes.
Well, that was the captain.
They're all at the Sheridan square trying to stake it out.
- Want to go check it out? - Nah, I'd just be in the way.
Here's where I belong.
In there.
Why don't you call Dr.
Walsh? Tell him to meet me here.
He can stuff me and put me on display with all the other relics.
Come on, Mr.
Monk.
You know the medical examiner's a little busy today.
Everybody's working on the big case.
What? - What did you say? - I said they're too busy.
They're all working on the Six-Way killer thing.
That's right.
Natalie, you're right! That's the key! Everybody is too busy.
- What time is it? - It's 12:45.
Come on! - What's going on? - I'll tell you in the car.
Let's go! ¢Ü I don't need a captain to make me feel strong ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge to tell me wrong from right ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge to tell me day from night ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need nobody 'cause, baby, I am free ¢Ü This is a complete waste of time.
You know that, don't you? Did you say something? Yeah, yeah.
I said, uh, I think Monk's right, sir.
I've never read one of these psychological profiles that meant squat.
Particularly if it was compiled by one of these gizmos.
These gizmos, as you call them, are gonna catch our killer.
- Mark my words.
- Southeast corner.
¢Ü Cleaning up the streets, God bless.
Poppa's got a new gig, ¢Ü ¢Ü he's got a brand new ¢Ü Male caucasian, green jacket.
He fits the profile! Everybody stay frosty! ¢Ü and music set me free ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge to tell me wrong from right ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge 'cause my eyes can see ¢Ü ¢Ü I don't need a badge 'cause, baby, I am free ¢Ü - This guy looks like approaching.
- Moving in.
¢Ü I don't need a badge ¢Ü Move, move.
Down on the ground! Get down! FBI! Stay down! Let me see your hands! Easy, easy.
Stand down.
Harmonica.
/ I was just gonna play with him.
Yeah.
You hurt? - Just your pride, right? - What do you mean? Never mind.
/ It's a message from your friend Natalie Teeger.
She said, "Monk just solved the case.
" You got, like, 5 bucks in there.
- Really? - Yeah.
What the hell's going on? Who told you to stop? I did.
/ What are you doing? I told you before.
She doesn't matter.
Actually, agent Thorpe, she not only matters, she is the key to this whole case.
Your so-called Six-Way killer killed her first.
The other kid, the street musician, was just a diversion.
It's true.
Captain, the same guy killed both.
You found a liquor bottle in the killer's car.
Remember, there was a cognac stain on her sleeve.
Monk.
Do you know who did it? She'll tell us if it's not too late.
We've already wasted a day and a half.
It was the deadline, 36 hours.
It seemed so arbitrary, didn't it? I mean, when you really stopped and thought about it Then Natalie reminded me how hard everybody was working on the Six-Way killer case.
And I wondered, "who would benefit from that?" And there's only one answer.
The man who killed this woman.
Here's what happened.
Ms.
Garnett met a doctor at the convention.
He took her out to dinner.
I don't know what they ordered, but it must've been pretty special.
- Why do you say that? - Bcause whatever it was, it could've been traced back to that restaurant.
That meal, what they ate, that's what this whole case has been about.
He must've paid for it with a credit card.
Something that we could trace later.
Just listen.
They ended up at Mt.
Davidson park.
Something went wrong.
We'll never know exactly what happened.
All we know is that she got away.
She ran across the street to the gas station.
But now the killer had a problem.
He was a doctor.
So he knew there'd be an autopsy and that we'd be able to trace whatever she had for dinner.
But he also knew that if he could stall us, distract us, eventually the food in her stomach would be digested.
And the evidence would be gone.
/36 hours.
Exactly.
Everything's gone in a day and a half, even after death.
So he distracted us.
He picked a victim at random, a street performer.
And he killed him in a particularly gruesome way.
Six particularly gruesome ways, actually.
He wrote a note, he called us, he taunted us.
Anything to keep our attention off of her.
/ Here it is.
What the hell is that? These shiny little flecks.
- Are those flower petals? - I don't know.
- It's a gold leaf cake! - What? They use real rose petals and flecks of gold.
I had it once at this restaurant called Justine's.
They call it the world's most romantic dessert.
Looked better on the plate.
It's the deadline.
Help me turn this damn thing off.
Dr.
Leven? These belong to you? Hey, you were right.
One of your gizmos caught the killer.
- Nice shot.
- Yeah, I nailed him.
Here.
"Dear Kimberly," "I am sorry that I inadvertently sent the SWAT team to Kayla's slumber party" "and made you cry.
I'm sorry about the nightmares.
" "It will never happen again.
Adrian Monk.
" Very good.
This next one is for Allison.
"Dear Allison" Mr.
Monk, that's gonna take you forever.
Why don't you just borrow my No, thank you.
I'm fine.