Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s05e16 Episode Script
Sentenced to Life
Okay, Zuckerman, how'd you know l was into Bukowski, huh? Come on.
The renegade poet of our times? Please.
''There's a bluebird in my heart ''that wants to get out, ''but l pour whisky on him and inhale cigarette smoke.
''All the whores and bartenders and the grocery clerks never know that he's in there.
'' You think his friends ever tried to put him in a rehab? Well, if they didn't, maybe they should have.
l don't know.
Do you really think that he could write that kind of stuff if he got rid of all his demons? Who knows? William Blake.
Blake says, ''The road to excess leads right to the gates of the palace of wisdom.
'' Excuse me.
Hi.
Uh, Mr.
McKay? Yeah.
l've got some registered mail here for you.
l'll need you to sign here, please.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
Thank you.
What is it? lt's from Municipal Court.
lt's a notice to appear.
lt's about my accident.
Your accident? Yeah, l'm being charged: driving under the influence.
Took 'em long enough.
Yeah, l was beginning to think it might never come.
Pretty stupid, huh? Time to face the music.
Hi, this is Donna Martin and l'm standing here at L.
A.
's hottest new nightclub, the Peach Pit After Dark.
Oh, and look who just walked in.
lt's the proud owner and my personal friend, Nat Bussichio! Hi.
So, Nat, everything seems to be coming along very nicely.
When's opening night? Uh, next Saturday.
Wow, that's one week away.
Excited? Uh, yeah, excited.
So, l hear you'll be having live music playing here.
That's right.
So, you know what that means.
All you musicians out there, send in your tapes.
That could be you, here, opening night.
-And cut! -That was great.
Can l go back to worrying now? Yes, you can.
Why did l ever let you guys talk me into this? Look at this place! You know, l think Ray would be great here opening night.
Donna, Ray doesn't even have a band.
He could get one.
His music isn't exactly danceable.
How do you know? He can do anything.
Haven't we heard this song before? Look, tease all you want, but Ray is good.
And you're going to give him a chance to prove it.
What do you think? lt's not worth fighting about.
Donna can be relentless.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
l'm out of here.
l have an English final tomorrow morning and l still don't know who killed the damn mockingbird.
ltalian, see it? See it in his eyes.
l wonder if anyone calls.
l mean, his daughter, his daughter.
All right, folks, easy does it.
This way.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Boy, what some guys won't do to get out of here.
Excuse me? That was Corelli.
He dropped dead during dinner between the meatballs and the Jell-O.
-l'm sorry to hear that.
-Oh -Excuse me.
-Yeah.
-That gentleman over there, what's his name? -Huh? Saul Howard.
Famous old actor.
Before your time.
Excuse me, Mr.
Howard.
That's right.
My name is Steve Sanders.
You worked with my mother on a sitcom called The Hartley House.
Samantha Sanders.
Samantha Sanders is your mother? Yeah.
l used to hang out on the set when l was a kid.
That's right.
Now l remember.
You're Chuckie.
No, no, Chuckie was the name of the kid on the show.
Oh My name is Steve.
l'm the real son.
Oh.
l knew you looked familiar the second l walked in that door.
and all anybody ever remembers is Grandpa Hartley from some lousy sitcom.
Well, it's good to see you, Saul.
lt's great to be seen, Chuckie.
l gotta run; l got a meeting with Mr.
Warren.
Mr.
Warren? He's a barrel of laughs.
Come in.
Mr.
Warren? Yeah.
What can l do for you? l'm Steve Sanders.
l'm supposed to see you.
Yeah, is that so? Yeah.
l'm here about my community service.
Oh, you're the pyromaniac.
Sit down.
l've been waiting to meet you.
Uh, just a second.
l didn't start that fire.
Tell it to the judge.
Well, l did.
And that's why l'm here.
Actually, l was told that l could just sign something and that you would take care of it.
l would take care of it? That's what l was told.
Don't worry.
The fix is in.
You know, it never ceases to amaze me how you rich kids get your parents to take care of stuff like this.
Just tell me where l sign, okay? -Right here.
-Great.
While you're at it, why don't you sign them all? Then l won't have to look at your smug face again.
What was l supposed to do here, anyway? What you're supposed to do is complete a hundred hours of service to the residents in this home.
Clean bedpans, mop floors, bus meals, wipe the drool off of faces of people who are too old to help themselves.
Nothing that a nice boy from Beverly Hills wants to deal with.
You got that right.
Chuckie, Chuckie, come here.
Get in here.
Get in.
Go in.
Here, here.
What is this? Do me a favor, will ya, Chuckie? Take this to the laundry for me.
What is it? My sheets.
l pissed in my bed.
lf they find out, they'll give me plastic sheets and make me wear a diaper.
So get it washed, will ya? And bring it back tonight? Please do that? Please? Yeah, sure.
Chuckie What? No starch.
''Discuss the thematic use of time as a metaphor in the works of Thomas Wolfe.
'' Why did l take this course? Tell you what.
l'll take your English final for you if you take my economics final for me.
Yeah, it's a deal.
l know all about money.
There's never enough of it.
Anybody home? Hey, Val, we're in here.
Hmm, she finally decided to come home.
Hey, guys.
Happy New Year.
And a Happy New Year to you, too.
We were expecting you a couple of days ago.
Yeah, well my first final's not until tomorrow, so l decided l'd sneak in a couple more days.
Hmm.
So, Buffalo was good? l didn't exactly go to Buffalo.
So, where exactly did you go? Exactly? Negril.
Jamaica? Yeah, it's a lot warmer than Niagara Falls.
l bought some souvenirs for everybody.
Well, thank you, but l thought you were going to see your mom.
l was.
l just couldn't do it.
l couldn't face going back home.
Not yet.
So l called my mom, and she understood.
Well, it's good to have you back.
Yeah, l'm gonna go unpack.
l can't believe her.
She's a compulsive liar.
Kelly, stop the bombing.
Brandon, l've taken four semesters of abnormal psychology.
l know what l'm talking about.
She's a textbook case.
l'm sorry, Dr.
Taylor.
And when did you get your PhD? Tell you what.
Why don't you call her mother? Ask her, hmm? You know what, if it'll get you off my back and off of her case, l might just do that.
-Good.
-Good.
-Fine.
-Fine.
Saul.
Chuckie! Come on in.
Remote control.
Greatest invention of the 20th century.
Well, have you got it? No starch.
l always knew you were a good boy, Chuckie.
lt's Steve.
l know who you are.
You're Rush and Samantha Sanders' son.
l always liked your mother.
Your father l couldn't stand.
That's why l quit the show.
Your father told everybody l couldn't remember my lines.
You know what it was l couldn't remember? To kiss your father's ass.
l have a little trouble with that myself sometimes.
Wow Mm! You got kids, huh? l did.
l had a daughter.
l lost her.
A long time ago.
Car accident.
My birth parents died in a car accident.
Your birth parents? Yeah, l'm adopted.
Then Rush isn't your real father.
That explains why you're such a good kid.
What are you doing here, Sanders? My job.
l beg your pardon? l'm going to fulfill the terms of my community service.
l'm going to work here the full 100 hours.
That's very admirable.
But l think you better be prepared.
This is not a country club.
l'm not going to make things easy for you.
Fine.
l'm not looking for the easy way out this time.
Uh, Mr.
Warren l saw the doctor today.
How nice.
He says l have Jewish Alzheimer's.
Jewish Alzheimer's? Yeah.
That's when you forget everything but the guilt.
Can l see you for a moment, Mr.
Sanders? Bastard has no sense of humor.
l noticed.
Look, l've seen this before.
What? lf you think you can waltz in here, do your 100 hours and change these people's lives, forget it.
Leave Saul Howard alone.
Why? So he can just shrivel up and die? That's why he's here, Steve.
Don't make it any harder on him than it has to be.
Hey, hon.
Hi.
Sorry l'm late.
l had to stop at the library and get some books.
No problem.
Guess who l talked to this morning? Valerie's mom? Correct as usual.
And yes, she did know about Valerie's little jaunt to Jamaica.
What she couldn't figure out, is why l was calling her to ask her if she knew.
Oh, well.
''Oh, well''? That's all you have to say.
-''Oh, well''? -What do you want me to say? l don't know, how about, ''You were right Brandon.
l was wrong about Valerie.
'' No, l was wrong about Jamaica.
l still don't trust Valerie.
What has she ever done to you? She doesn't have to do anything.
Can we just study now? -Fine.
Fine.
-Fine.
Fine.
Good.
Hey, Kel.
l thought l heard the doorbell.
Hi.
Listen, l'm glad you're here.
lt saves me a phone call.
-l need to ask you a favor.
-Oh? Can l borrow your abnormal psych notes? l thought you dropped that course.
Only in spirit.
But you haven't shown up all semester.
Sure l have.
l only missed a couple classes.
Look, it'll really help me out.
Look, Valerie, l work my butt off in that class.
Why should l go out of my way to help someone who can't even bother to show up? l didn't think it was -that big of a deal.
-Well, it is.
Kel Look, l'm sorry l asked.
You know what? You really go out of your way to be mean to her.
l can't believe you.
She uses people and you know it.
Come on, Kelly.
lf Donna asked, you'd help her.
Or me, you'd let me share your notes.
-You guys go to classes-- -So does she.
Brandon, Valerie is a liar and a user, and the sooner you wise up, the better off we'll all be.
lt's open.
Put down the books, guys.
Chow time.
Oh, thank you.
l'm starving.
Good.
l got enough for an army.
l wish l had some champagne.
l have the best news.
What? l talked to Clare and David-- guess who's the headliner for the opening night of the Peach Pit After Dark? l don't know, uh, Counting Crows? Nope.
You.
-What? -Yeah, it's all set.
You don't even have to audition.
Look, uh, forget it.
What do you mean? l'm sorry if you went to a bunch of trouble, l'm just not interested.
Why not? l mean l l thought you'd be happy.
Look Donna, l'm a songwriter, l sing a little bit.
But l'm not a one-man dance band.
l can't do a show like that-- no way.
Of course you can.
You don't have to do all your own songs.
-You can do some covers.
-No.
Wait, you want a music career, but you don't want to perform? Look, l'm sorry to disappoint you, and l really appreciate what you did, but l'm not interested.
Fine.
l just don't get it.
Friend named Max calls me on the phone.
He's 92 years old.
And he tells me, he's getting married.
l said, ''ls she a good cook?'' He says, ''Well'' l said, ''ls she good in bed?'' He said, ''She's the worst.
'' So l said, ''Well, why are you marrying her?'' He said, ''Because she drives at night.
'' Chuckie? Will you come here a minute, please? Sit down here, will ya? Come on, sit down.
l want to show you a card trick that l learned, uh, when l was in vaudeville.
l want you to take any card that you want in the deck and don't let me force one on you, okay? All right Okay, look at it, remember it, Now do as l tell you to do.
Take the card and tear it in half.
Do it fast, tear it in quarters, tear it in eighths, tear it in sixteenths, tear it in twenty-fours, Now, you got the little pieces of the card, put them in the palm of your hand.
Your left hand.
Close the palm of your hand, okay? Now when l count three, you throw those pieces over your head.
-Are you ready? -Yeah.
One, two, three.
Happy New Year! Steve, what do you think you're doing? Get back to work.
This is a nursing home, it's not a nightclub.
Yeah, how you doing? Are you gonna help me fold? Oh, okay, you just sit there like the princess you are, okay? l'll just fold the shirts.
Oh, no, no, just don't get up; that's okay.
So, they meet again by the spin cycle.
He, with his tiny packets of fabric softener, She, folding the clothes that make the woman.
And, hey, what a folder she is.
Peter, hi, how are you? l would have been better if you'd called.
l know, l know, you're the dedicated babysitter, the dedicated premed student.
No rest for the wicked.
But, you know, you really should get out more.
l mean, Laundromats are great, but not what l'd call a social life.
Then again, they're not bad for picking up girls.
You do that often? Wash clothes? About once every couple months.
Pick up girls.
Often as l can.
Which isn't that often.
And that's why l have to admit l was very disappointed you threw away my number.
How do you know l threw away your number? Well, in case you misplaced it, l could probably be persuaded to give it to you again, for old times' sake, l mean, if you really wanted it.
Oh, it's okay, it's okay.
Sorry about before, kid.
l didn't mean to get you into trouble with Warren at lunch.
l didn't lt's no sweat.
l'm a prisoner here, anyway.
l'm a prisoner, too.
You get to serve your time and leave.
l'm sentenced to life.
Hey, Saul Yeah, Chuckie? Tell you what-- What are you doing tomorrow? Tomorrow? l'll have to consult my appointment calendar.
l'll tell you what-- how about l spring you from this joint? l don't think that's a good idea.
Why not? You got any better offers? l'm an old man.
l can't walk far.
Walk? Who said anything about walking? l'll drive you door to door.
You like hamburgers? l like a chicken sandwich on white toast, with Dijon mustard, and a couple of dill pickles on the side.
All right, chicken sandwich it is.
l know the best place in town.
Look, man, you wanted my advice, here it is.
Get yourself a good attorney and throw yourself at the mercy of the court.
Hey, l don't beg for mercy.
Come on, Dylan, you were drunk.
They found traces of heroin and cocaine in your bloodstream.
You drove a car off a cliff.
Look, the only thing you got going for you right now is the fact you didn't hurt anybody and they didn't find any evidence in your car.
Yeah, well, obviously, they didn't look very hard.
What's wrong with you? What are you trying to prove here, huh? l'm not trying to prove anything, man.
lf l'm guilty, l'm guilty.
l don't need a lawyer telling me that.
Let them throw the book at me.
Oh, that's very honorable of you, Dylan.
And very, very stupid.
lf you can manage-- just listen-- lf you can manage to swallow a little bit of pride here, you'll get a fine, probation and they'll take your driver's license away for a couple of months.
l don't think so.
All right, listen, you don't want to believe me give this guy a call.
He's good.
Expensive, but good.
Call him.
Hey, what's up? Saul, baby, up and at 'em! lt's game day, man! Come on.
What are you watching TV for? l thought we were going to get out of here for a change.
Who are you? What do you mean, who am l? What are you doing here in my room? l don't know you.
Come on.
l'm Steve.
Chuckie? l don't have any money.
Leave me alone.
Who needs money? l got lots of money.
lt's my treat.
Come on.
l told you l don't have any money! l don't have anything.
Now, get the hell out of here! Are you joking with me? Come on.
What are you talking about? l'm not doing anything wrong.
l'm going to call a nurse.
That's what l'm going to do.
Nurse! Nurse! -Help me! l'm being robbed! -Saul, what are you? Robbed?! l'm not robbing you.
You know what l'm talking about! He's stealing my Emmy.
Don't let him steal my Emmy.
Oh, no.
Everything's all right.
Don't let him do it.
No one's stealing anything, Mr.
Howard.
He was about to get up there and steal it.
-l would never do that, Saul.
-Look, here, Mr.
Howard.
-Here it is.
-You're in Oh.
Safe and sound.
See? l want you to take it easy.
Nurse, l didn't do anything.
l know.
l know.
Maybe you better wait in the hall.
Now, l just want you to rest and take it easy, all right? Just rest.
l don't want you worrying.
All right What's wrong with him? How come he doesn't remember me? Mr.
Howard has Alzheimer's.
He doesn't remember you.
He's confused, and he's scared.
How long is that going to last? Who knows? lt comes and goes.
Maybe a few days, maybe a few minutes.
And eventually, for the rest of his life.
Where you been, Chuckie? l've been waiting here for two hours.
l thought we were going out.
Are you okay? No.
l'm hot.
l got my overcoat on.
Come on.
Let's go, huh? Maybe it's not such a good idea.
What are you talking about? You sold me on a chicken sandwich on white toast.
With Dijon mustard.
And pickles, too.
Okay.
Come on.
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here.
That's better.
Boy, what a car! lt's a Corvette.
l'm old, not blind.
You know, l had a Corvette once.
A '59.
Yeah.
Maroon and cream.
-Oh! -Beautiful color.
Oh, yeah.
-l'll drive.
-Yeah, right.
l'll show you my license.
Look, don't give me a hard time.
l'm lucky l got you out of the home.
Well, who's going to know if l'm going to drive? Come on, l'll do the driving.
Eh Come on, Chuckie.
Let me drive, please.
No.
lt's like riding a bicycle.
You never forget.
Saul, you're not driving.
l got a driver's license.
l'll show it to you.
But don't look at the date.
Oh, come on.
l said you're not driving.
Let me tell you something.
When you get to be my age, and it's your last chance to drive a snazzy car like this, you'll always remember what l just said.
Don't forget that.
This is it.
-Oh -This is the Peach Pit.
Peach Pit, huh? Saul Howard.
l'd know that face anywhere.
You're not a cop, are you? Come on.
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming.
This is Andrea and her baby Hannah.
-Hi.
-Cute baby.
And that's David.
-Hello, David.
-How you doing? Clare.
Donna.
-Hello, Donna.
-Hello.
-My friend Brandon.
-How you doing, Saul? And, last but not least, that's Kelly.
-Hi.
-Kelly, huh? Boy, if l only had my health.
Steve says you do some great card tricks, Mr.
Howard.
Just so happens that l have a deck of cards right here in my pocket.
Hey, you want to know something? l'm one of the only eight guys in the world who can do this trick that l'm going to show you.
l'll do it with you, blondie, 'cause you wanted it done.
Now, here's 52 cards, right? you don't want to count them.
Let me shuffle them up for you.
You want to cut them? -Oops! -Oh, l'm sorry.
l just did that so l could touch your knee.
All right, now l'm going to fan the deck to you.
at any card in the deck and remember it-- and after you remember it, l want you to tell it to this young man sitting here-- whisper it in his ear.
Don't let anybody else hear it, okay? Okay.
All right.
You ready? Uh-huh.
-Do you see the card? -Uh-huh.
Tell the card to this gentleman here.
You remember the card? ls it red or black? -Black.
-Black.
Three of spades.
The Buchanans of Broadway was my all-time favorite movie.
Was l in that? Yeah, l think so.
Steve said that you won an Emmy.
What was it for? Um l can't remember.
Playhouse 90.
Oh Oh, that's right.
lt was Playhouse 90.
What's Playhouse 90? l think it was on cable.
Hey, you want to you want to see a great trick? A good card trick? There's only eight people in the world that can do this trick and l'm l'm one of the eight that can do this trick.
Now, what l want to do l want to There's 52 ca-- l'll do it with you, blondie.
Saul, you know what? l think we've had enough card tricks for one day.
How about some lunch? What are you talking about?! l'm right in the middle of a trick right here.
Saul Oh, don't give me that ''Saul'' And don't step on my lines! What's the matter? Didn't your mother ever teach you anything about timing? Here we go.
Chicken sandwich just the way you like it.
Nat, you know what? Maybe you should wrap this up, take it home.
Um Saul's tired.
Tired?! l am not tired! Come on.
Let's get out of here.
Let's go home.
You're running out of jokes, Saul.
The day that l run out of jokes, that'll be the day Henny Youngman tells a new one.
Who's Henny Youngman? Youngman he's the king of the one-liners, 'cause the dummy can't remember two.
Jesse, it's not coming down.
lt's still over 103.
She's burning up.
lt's still over 103.
She's been that way for a couple of hours.
Uh-huh Okay, great.
Jesse, what'd they say? Well, it's not uncommon for an infant to run a high fever like that, but we need to take her in anyway.
lt's better safe than sorry.
lt's all right, sweetheart.
-lt's okay, it's okay.
-Honey, it's okay.
Lookie, lookie, look! Look, sweetie; all right, sweetie.
lt's all right, baby.
You're all right.
David, wake up! You're supposed to be studying.
l'm taking the information in through osmosis.
l tried that in high school.
lt didn't work.
-Hey, Ray.
-Hey.
Hey, Donna said you finally broke down and agreed to do the show, huh? What? We're holding a slot open for you opening night.
Really.
Donna, can l, uh, see you for a minute alone? -Ray.
-Now.
Sure.
Do l have to spell it out for you? l do not want to play at this club.
How many times do l have to tell you the same thing? l just don't get it, what's the big deal? lt's a great gig.
Yeah, and l don't want it, okay? You know, l don't understand.
Everyone is bending over backwards for you, and you don't even care.
All you want to do is show me off, so you can tell your mother what a big star l am.
Leave my mother out of this.
Oh, did l hit a nerve? You know, my mother has nothing to do with this.
l was trying to help you.
Donna, l didn't ask for your help, and l don't want it, so mind your own business and stop meddling in my life, okay? lt's going to be okay, honey, don't worry.
Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez? Here.
Peter? Andrea.
You two guys know each other? Uh, well, we met in the Laundromat.
Uh, Peter, this is my husband, Jesse Vasquez, and and, well, you remember our daughter Hannah? Yes, uh, certainly.
Uh, what seems to be the the problem? Well, she's been running a high fever for a few hours.
lt doesn't seem to want to come down.
Well, let's have a look, shall we? Okay.
Here's your water.
Did you let it run? Yes, l let it run.
lt's cold.
You're a good kid, Chuckie.
No matter what else Rush did, he raised a good boy.
Look, do me a favor, okay? Don't mention his name.
l'm not talking to my father right now.
Don't say that.
Please.
The most important thing is family.
Yeah.
Tell that to my old man.
l don't even think he knows what the word means.
What are you bitching about? You got it so bad? Look at you.
You got your whole life ahead of you.
Why don't you stop complaining? l hate my father.
He makes my life miserable.
My daughter hated me, too.
She said l worked too hard.
She was right.
l was always on the road, and when l was around, l fought with that kid night and day, till we finally stopped talking.
Months went by.
Then, one day, l call her on the phone, and l said, ''l just want you to know, honey ''no matter what happened between us, darling, l love you and l'll always love you.
'' Two weeks later l lost her.
But l thank God every day l made that phone call.
Chuckie.
Listen to me.
Do the right thing.
Don't let too much time go by before you make up with your father.
Otherwise, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Good night, Saul.
Chuckie? Yeah.
l know l'm losing my mind.
No, you're not.
You're gonna be fine.
Nah.
Today was just a good day.
So, if l do anything strange, please please don't let it bother you, huh? Don't worry, Saul.
Thanks, kid.
l spoke to your pediatrician.
She feels there's really no reason to keep Hannah here.
Her fever's down, and these things just happen with infants occasionally.
Well, at least she's finally asleep.
Would you step outside for a minute? Sure.
Hannah spent the first four months of her life in this hospital.
l hated bringing her here.
Why didn't you tell me Hannah was your baby? You didn't ask.
Oh, come on.
Thanks.
l guess when you thought l was the babysitter, l have to admit, for that one brief moment, l wanted to see what it was like not being a mom or a wife with too much laundry.
At least now l know why you didn't call.
l thought l was losing my touch.
You can rest easy.
Mrs.
O'Brien, telephone please.
Mrs.
O'Brien.
Listen, Andrea, you're not the only one who left out some relevant data.
Guilty.
Are you married? My wife likes to think so.
l can't believe it.
lt's funny how neither of us bothered to look for those little telltale rings till now, isn't it? lf you're married, what were you doing flirting with a babysitter in the Laundromat? Do you really have to ask that question Ms.
Fluff 'n' Fold? Or should l say missus? Hey, l've never done anything like that before in my life.
And you assume l have? Miss Aaron, telephone please.
l don't know what to think.
About any of this.
Look, the short version of the story is, l got married way too young for all the wrong reasons.
and now l'm paying the price, same as you.
-lt's not the same as me at all.
-lsn't it? When did you decide to get married, before or after you flunked the home pregnancy test? That's none of your business.
Mrs.
Hernandez, front desk, please.
Mrs.
Hernandez.
Hello? Kelly? Listen, it's Valerie.
Did you oversleep or something? Our psych final's in about five minutes.
Oh, my God.
l did.
l-l overslept.
Well, hurry up, and l'll just tell the proctor you're on your way, okay? Okay, l appreciate it, Valerie.
Hey, Sanders.
You're becoming a regular fixture around here.
Well, don't get used to it.
Well, listen, you've been a great help.
Thanks.
Sure.
Hi.
Big fella! That's nice.
Saul? Come on, Picasso.
You can do it.
Come on.
l guess it's time to rest, huh? That's okay.
That's okay.
You've already painted your masterpiece.
Give me a second.
Boy, it took a little longer than l expected in there.
How'd it go, man? Well, not so good.
What do you mean? What do l mean? l mean, that's some pretty crummy advice you gave me.
l can't believe l ever even listened to you.
Wait, wait, what happened? l'll tell you what happened.
l got probation for about a year.
They just took my license for a couple of months.
You bum.
That's great, man! Yeah, man.
Thanks.
You know, you've got a really lousy sense of humor.
You know that.
Yeah, but l got you, didn't l? What, for maybe, oh, l don't know, one second? Yeah, maybe two seconds.
Hey, you need a lift? No, thanks.
l think l better get used to taking the public transportation for a while, anyway, you know what l mean? -Have a safe ride.
-All right.
-Kiss the wife for me.
-Will do.
Oh, guys, relax.
We'll get it.
-Are you sure? -Yeah.
Thanks.
Go on.
-Okay, we're going.
We're going.
-Going.
Going.
Okay.
Brandon, would you take the trash out or something? ls that a cue for me to leave? -Mm-hmm.
-Mmm.
Don't kill each other while l'm gone.
Valerie l just wanted to thank you for what you did this morning.
No biggie.
You would've done the same for me, right? So, how'd you do on the test? You mean, did l pull through without the benefit of your notes? Yeah.
You can stop feeling guilty now.
Look, l'm trying to say l'm sorry.
l've been a bitch.
l owe you one.
Yeah.
You do.
But one of these days, l'll collect.
Saul! Saul, it's me.
Nat sent over some fresh peach pie for you.
That's okay, it'll keep.
lt's a beautiful day outside.
Do you want to take a walk or something? Maybe go down to the rec room, do some card tricks? l know what you want to do.
Steve.
Where have you been? l've been looking all over the place for you.
You called me ''Steve,'' not ''Chuckie.
'' Course l did.
What do you think l am, senile? You've known my name all along.
You've been calling me Chuckie to drive me nuts, huh? Did it work? Come on, let's go for a ride.
Sure.
Sure.
Only under one condition.
What's that? That l drive.
You're not driving.
Don't tell me l'm not driving.
Please, come on, let me drive.
l got a license.
Forget it.
You're not driving.
l'm older than you are.
Well, so? Let me have the keys.
Come on, Saul.
The renegade poet of our times? Please.
''There's a bluebird in my heart ''that wants to get out, ''but l pour whisky on him and inhale cigarette smoke.
''All the whores and bartenders and the grocery clerks never know that he's in there.
'' You think his friends ever tried to put him in a rehab? Well, if they didn't, maybe they should have.
l don't know.
Do you really think that he could write that kind of stuff if he got rid of all his demons? Who knows? William Blake.
Blake says, ''The road to excess leads right to the gates of the palace of wisdom.
'' Excuse me.
Hi.
Uh, Mr.
McKay? Yeah.
l've got some registered mail here for you.
l'll need you to sign here, please.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
Thank you.
What is it? lt's from Municipal Court.
lt's a notice to appear.
lt's about my accident.
Your accident? Yeah, l'm being charged: driving under the influence.
Took 'em long enough.
Yeah, l was beginning to think it might never come.
Pretty stupid, huh? Time to face the music.
Hi, this is Donna Martin and l'm standing here at L.
A.
's hottest new nightclub, the Peach Pit After Dark.
Oh, and look who just walked in.
lt's the proud owner and my personal friend, Nat Bussichio! Hi.
So, Nat, everything seems to be coming along very nicely.
When's opening night? Uh, next Saturday.
Wow, that's one week away.
Excited? Uh, yeah, excited.
So, l hear you'll be having live music playing here.
That's right.
So, you know what that means.
All you musicians out there, send in your tapes.
That could be you, here, opening night.
-And cut! -That was great.
Can l go back to worrying now? Yes, you can.
Why did l ever let you guys talk me into this? Look at this place! You know, l think Ray would be great here opening night.
Donna, Ray doesn't even have a band.
He could get one.
His music isn't exactly danceable.
How do you know? He can do anything.
Haven't we heard this song before? Look, tease all you want, but Ray is good.
And you're going to give him a chance to prove it.
What do you think? lt's not worth fighting about.
Donna can be relentless.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
l'm out of here.
l have an English final tomorrow morning and l still don't know who killed the damn mockingbird.
ltalian, see it? See it in his eyes.
l wonder if anyone calls.
l mean, his daughter, his daughter.
All right, folks, easy does it.
This way.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Boy, what some guys won't do to get out of here.
Excuse me? That was Corelli.
He dropped dead during dinner between the meatballs and the Jell-O.
-l'm sorry to hear that.
-Oh -Excuse me.
-Yeah.
-That gentleman over there, what's his name? -Huh? Saul Howard.
Famous old actor.
Before your time.
Excuse me, Mr.
Howard.
That's right.
My name is Steve Sanders.
You worked with my mother on a sitcom called The Hartley House.
Samantha Sanders.
Samantha Sanders is your mother? Yeah.
l used to hang out on the set when l was a kid.
That's right.
Now l remember.
You're Chuckie.
No, no, Chuckie was the name of the kid on the show.
Oh My name is Steve.
l'm the real son.
Oh.
l knew you looked familiar the second l walked in that door.
and all anybody ever remembers is Grandpa Hartley from some lousy sitcom.
Well, it's good to see you, Saul.
lt's great to be seen, Chuckie.
l gotta run; l got a meeting with Mr.
Warren.
Mr.
Warren? He's a barrel of laughs.
Come in.
Mr.
Warren? Yeah.
What can l do for you? l'm Steve Sanders.
l'm supposed to see you.
Yeah, is that so? Yeah.
l'm here about my community service.
Oh, you're the pyromaniac.
Sit down.
l've been waiting to meet you.
Uh, just a second.
l didn't start that fire.
Tell it to the judge.
Well, l did.
And that's why l'm here.
Actually, l was told that l could just sign something and that you would take care of it.
l would take care of it? That's what l was told.
Don't worry.
The fix is in.
You know, it never ceases to amaze me how you rich kids get your parents to take care of stuff like this.
Just tell me where l sign, okay? -Right here.
-Great.
While you're at it, why don't you sign them all? Then l won't have to look at your smug face again.
What was l supposed to do here, anyway? What you're supposed to do is complete a hundred hours of service to the residents in this home.
Clean bedpans, mop floors, bus meals, wipe the drool off of faces of people who are too old to help themselves.
Nothing that a nice boy from Beverly Hills wants to deal with.
You got that right.
Chuckie, Chuckie, come here.
Get in here.
Get in.
Go in.
Here, here.
What is this? Do me a favor, will ya, Chuckie? Take this to the laundry for me.
What is it? My sheets.
l pissed in my bed.
lf they find out, they'll give me plastic sheets and make me wear a diaper.
So get it washed, will ya? And bring it back tonight? Please do that? Please? Yeah, sure.
Chuckie What? No starch.
''Discuss the thematic use of time as a metaphor in the works of Thomas Wolfe.
'' Why did l take this course? Tell you what.
l'll take your English final for you if you take my economics final for me.
Yeah, it's a deal.
l know all about money.
There's never enough of it.
Anybody home? Hey, Val, we're in here.
Hmm, she finally decided to come home.
Hey, guys.
Happy New Year.
And a Happy New Year to you, too.
We were expecting you a couple of days ago.
Yeah, well my first final's not until tomorrow, so l decided l'd sneak in a couple more days.
Hmm.
So, Buffalo was good? l didn't exactly go to Buffalo.
So, where exactly did you go? Exactly? Negril.
Jamaica? Yeah, it's a lot warmer than Niagara Falls.
l bought some souvenirs for everybody.
Well, thank you, but l thought you were going to see your mom.
l was.
l just couldn't do it.
l couldn't face going back home.
Not yet.
So l called my mom, and she understood.
Well, it's good to have you back.
Yeah, l'm gonna go unpack.
l can't believe her.
She's a compulsive liar.
Kelly, stop the bombing.
Brandon, l've taken four semesters of abnormal psychology.
l know what l'm talking about.
She's a textbook case.
l'm sorry, Dr.
Taylor.
And when did you get your PhD? Tell you what.
Why don't you call her mother? Ask her, hmm? You know what, if it'll get you off my back and off of her case, l might just do that.
-Good.
-Good.
-Fine.
-Fine.
Saul.
Chuckie! Come on in.
Remote control.
Greatest invention of the 20th century.
Well, have you got it? No starch.
l always knew you were a good boy, Chuckie.
lt's Steve.
l know who you are.
You're Rush and Samantha Sanders' son.
l always liked your mother.
Your father l couldn't stand.
That's why l quit the show.
Your father told everybody l couldn't remember my lines.
You know what it was l couldn't remember? To kiss your father's ass.
l have a little trouble with that myself sometimes.
Wow Mm! You got kids, huh? l did.
l had a daughter.
l lost her.
A long time ago.
Car accident.
My birth parents died in a car accident.
Your birth parents? Yeah, l'm adopted.
Then Rush isn't your real father.
That explains why you're such a good kid.
What are you doing here, Sanders? My job.
l beg your pardon? l'm going to fulfill the terms of my community service.
l'm going to work here the full 100 hours.
That's very admirable.
But l think you better be prepared.
This is not a country club.
l'm not going to make things easy for you.
Fine.
l'm not looking for the easy way out this time.
Uh, Mr.
Warren l saw the doctor today.
How nice.
He says l have Jewish Alzheimer's.
Jewish Alzheimer's? Yeah.
That's when you forget everything but the guilt.
Can l see you for a moment, Mr.
Sanders? Bastard has no sense of humor.
l noticed.
Look, l've seen this before.
What? lf you think you can waltz in here, do your 100 hours and change these people's lives, forget it.
Leave Saul Howard alone.
Why? So he can just shrivel up and die? That's why he's here, Steve.
Don't make it any harder on him than it has to be.
Hey, hon.
Hi.
Sorry l'm late.
l had to stop at the library and get some books.
No problem.
Guess who l talked to this morning? Valerie's mom? Correct as usual.
And yes, she did know about Valerie's little jaunt to Jamaica.
What she couldn't figure out, is why l was calling her to ask her if she knew.
Oh, well.
''Oh, well''? That's all you have to say.
-''Oh, well''? -What do you want me to say? l don't know, how about, ''You were right Brandon.
l was wrong about Valerie.
'' No, l was wrong about Jamaica.
l still don't trust Valerie.
What has she ever done to you? She doesn't have to do anything.
Can we just study now? -Fine.
Fine.
-Fine.
Fine.
Good.
Hey, Kel.
l thought l heard the doorbell.
Hi.
Listen, l'm glad you're here.
lt saves me a phone call.
-l need to ask you a favor.
-Oh? Can l borrow your abnormal psych notes? l thought you dropped that course.
Only in spirit.
But you haven't shown up all semester.
Sure l have.
l only missed a couple classes.
Look, it'll really help me out.
Look, Valerie, l work my butt off in that class.
Why should l go out of my way to help someone who can't even bother to show up? l didn't think it was -that big of a deal.
-Well, it is.
Kel Look, l'm sorry l asked.
You know what? You really go out of your way to be mean to her.
l can't believe you.
She uses people and you know it.
Come on, Kelly.
lf Donna asked, you'd help her.
Or me, you'd let me share your notes.
-You guys go to classes-- -So does she.
Brandon, Valerie is a liar and a user, and the sooner you wise up, the better off we'll all be.
lt's open.
Put down the books, guys.
Chow time.
Oh, thank you.
l'm starving.
Good.
l got enough for an army.
l wish l had some champagne.
l have the best news.
What? l talked to Clare and David-- guess who's the headliner for the opening night of the Peach Pit After Dark? l don't know, uh, Counting Crows? Nope.
You.
-What? -Yeah, it's all set.
You don't even have to audition.
Look, uh, forget it.
What do you mean? l'm sorry if you went to a bunch of trouble, l'm just not interested.
Why not? l mean l l thought you'd be happy.
Look Donna, l'm a songwriter, l sing a little bit.
But l'm not a one-man dance band.
l can't do a show like that-- no way.
Of course you can.
You don't have to do all your own songs.
-You can do some covers.
-No.
Wait, you want a music career, but you don't want to perform? Look, l'm sorry to disappoint you, and l really appreciate what you did, but l'm not interested.
Fine.
l just don't get it.
Friend named Max calls me on the phone.
He's 92 years old.
And he tells me, he's getting married.
l said, ''ls she a good cook?'' He says, ''Well'' l said, ''ls she good in bed?'' He said, ''She's the worst.
'' So l said, ''Well, why are you marrying her?'' He said, ''Because she drives at night.
'' Chuckie? Will you come here a minute, please? Sit down here, will ya? Come on, sit down.
l want to show you a card trick that l learned, uh, when l was in vaudeville.
l want you to take any card that you want in the deck and don't let me force one on you, okay? All right Okay, look at it, remember it, Now do as l tell you to do.
Take the card and tear it in half.
Do it fast, tear it in quarters, tear it in eighths, tear it in sixteenths, tear it in twenty-fours, Now, you got the little pieces of the card, put them in the palm of your hand.
Your left hand.
Close the palm of your hand, okay? Now when l count three, you throw those pieces over your head.
-Are you ready? -Yeah.
One, two, three.
Happy New Year! Steve, what do you think you're doing? Get back to work.
This is a nursing home, it's not a nightclub.
Yeah, how you doing? Are you gonna help me fold? Oh, okay, you just sit there like the princess you are, okay? l'll just fold the shirts.
Oh, no, no, just don't get up; that's okay.
So, they meet again by the spin cycle.
He, with his tiny packets of fabric softener, She, folding the clothes that make the woman.
And, hey, what a folder she is.
Peter, hi, how are you? l would have been better if you'd called.
l know, l know, you're the dedicated babysitter, the dedicated premed student.
No rest for the wicked.
But, you know, you really should get out more.
l mean, Laundromats are great, but not what l'd call a social life.
Then again, they're not bad for picking up girls.
You do that often? Wash clothes? About once every couple months.
Pick up girls.
Often as l can.
Which isn't that often.
And that's why l have to admit l was very disappointed you threw away my number.
How do you know l threw away your number? Well, in case you misplaced it, l could probably be persuaded to give it to you again, for old times' sake, l mean, if you really wanted it.
Oh, it's okay, it's okay.
Sorry about before, kid.
l didn't mean to get you into trouble with Warren at lunch.
l didn't lt's no sweat.
l'm a prisoner here, anyway.
l'm a prisoner, too.
You get to serve your time and leave.
l'm sentenced to life.
Hey, Saul Yeah, Chuckie? Tell you what-- What are you doing tomorrow? Tomorrow? l'll have to consult my appointment calendar.
l'll tell you what-- how about l spring you from this joint? l don't think that's a good idea.
Why not? You got any better offers? l'm an old man.
l can't walk far.
Walk? Who said anything about walking? l'll drive you door to door.
You like hamburgers? l like a chicken sandwich on white toast, with Dijon mustard, and a couple of dill pickles on the side.
All right, chicken sandwich it is.
l know the best place in town.
Look, man, you wanted my advice, here it is.
Get yourself a good attorney and throw yourself at the mercy of the court.
Hey, l don't beg for mercy.
Come on, Dylan, you were drunk.
They found traces of heroin and cocaine in your bloodstream.
You drove a car off a cliff.
Look, the only thing you got going for you right now is the fact you didn't hurt anybody and they didn't find any evidence in your car.
Yeah, well, obviously, they didn't look very hard.
What's wrong with you? What are you trying to prove here, huh? l'm not trying to prove anything, man.
lf l'm guilty, l'm guilty.
l don't need a lawyer telling me that.
Let them throw the book at me.
Oh, that's very honorable of you, Dylan.
And very, very stupid.
lf you can manage-- just listen-- lf you can manage to swallow a little bit of pride here, you'll get a fine, probation and they'll take your driver's license away for a couple of months.
l don't think so.
All right, listen, you don't want to believe me give this guy a call.
He's good.
Expensive, but good.
Call him.
Hey, what's up? Saul, baby, up and at 'em! lt's game day, man! Come on.
What are you watching TV for? l thought we were going to get out of here for a change.
Who are you? What do you mean, who am l? What are you doing here in my room? l don't know you.
Come on.
l'm Steve.
Chuckie? l don't have any money.
Leave me alone.
Who needs money? l got lots of money.
lt's my treat.
Come on.
l told you l don't have any money! l don't have anything.
Now, get the hell out of here! Are you joking with me? Come on.
What are you talking about? l'm not doing anything wrong.
l'm going to call a nurse.
That's what l'm going to do.
Nurse! Nurse! -Help me! l'm being robbed! -Saul, what are you? Robbed?! l'm not robbing you.
You know what l'm talking about! He's stealing my Emmy.
Don't let him steal my Emmy.
Oh, no.
Everything's all right.
Don't let him do it.
No one's stealing anything, Mr.
Howard.
He was about to get up there and steal it.
-l would never do that, Saul.
-Look, here, Mr.
Howard.
-Here it is.
-You're in Oh.
Safe and sound.
See? l want you to take it easy.
Nurse, l didn't do anything.
l know.
l know.
Maybe you better wait in the hall.
Now, l just want you to rest and take it easy, all right? Just rest.
l don't want you worrying.
All right What's wrong with him? How come he doesn't remember me? Mr.
Howard has Alzheimer's.
He doesn't remember you.
He's confused, and he's scared.
How long is that going to last? Who knows? lt comes and goes.
Maybe a few days, maybe a few minutes.
And eventually, for the rest of his life.
Where you been, Chuckie? l've been waiting here for two hours.
l thought we were going out.
Are you okay? No.
l'm hot.
l got my overcoat on.
Come on.
Let's go, huh? Maybe it's not such a good idea.
What are you talking about? You sold me on a chicken sandwich on white toast.
With Dijon mustard.
And pickles, too.
Okay.
Come on.
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here.
That's better.
Boy, what a car! lt's a Corvette.
l'm old, not blind.
You know, l had a Corvette once.
A '59.
Yeah.
Maroon and cream.
-Oh! -Beautiful color.
Oh, yeah.
-l'll drive.
-Yeah, right.
l'll show you my license.
Look, don't give me a hard time.
l'm lucky l got you out of the home.
Well, who's going to know if l'm going to drive? Come on, l'll do the driving.
Eh Come on, Chuckie.
Let me drive, please.
No.
lt's like riding a bicycle.
You never forget.
Saul, you're not driving.
l got a driver's license.
l'll show it to you.
But don't look at the date.
Oh, come on.
l said you're not driving.
Let me tell you something.
When you get to be my age, and it's your last chance to drive a snazzy car like this, you'll always remember what l just said.
Don't forget that.
This is it.
-Oh -This is the Peach Pit.
Peach Pit, huh? Saul Howard.
l'd know that face anywhere.
You're not a cop, are you? Come on.
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming.
This is Andrea and her baby Hannah.
-Hi.
-Cute baby.
And that's David.
-Hello, David.
-How you doing? Clare.
Donna.
-Hello, Donna.
-Hello.
-My friend Brandon.
-How you doing, Saul? And, last but not least, that's Kelly.
-Hi.
-Kelly, huh? Boy, if l only had my health.
Steve says you do some great card tricks, Mr.
Howard.
Just so happens that l have a deck of cards right here in my pocket.
Hey, you want to know something? l'm one of the only eight guys in the world who can do this trick that l'm going to show you.
l'll do it with you, blondie, 'cause you wanted it done.
Now, here's 52 cards, right? you don't want to count them.
Let me shuffle them up for you.
You want to cut them? -Oops! -Oh, l'm sorry.
l just did that so l could touch your knee.
All right, now l'm going to fan the deck to you.
at any card in the deck and remember it-- and after you remember it, l want you to tell it to this young man sitting here-- whisper it in his ear.
Don't let anybody else hear it, okay? Okay.
All right.
You ready? Uh-huh.
-Do you see the card? -Uh-huh.
Tell the card to this gentleman here.
You remember the card? ls it red or black? -Black.
-Black.
Three of spades.
The Buchanans of Broadway was my all-time favorite movie.
Was l in that? Yeah, l think so.
Steve said that you won an Emmy.
What was it for? Um l can't remember.
Playhouse 90.
Oh Oh, that's right.
lt was Playhouse 90.
What's Playhouse 90? l think it was on cable.
Hey, you want to you want to see a great trick? A good card trick? There's only eight people in the world that can do this trick and l'm l'm one of the eight that can do this trick.
Now, what l want to do l want to There's 52 ca-- l'll do it with you, blondie.
Saul, you know what? l think we've had enough card tricks for one day.
How about some lunch? What are you talking about?! l'm right in the middle of a trick right here.
Saul Oh, don't give me that ''Saul'' And don't step on my lines! What's the matter? Didn't your mother ever teach you anything about timing? Here we go.
Chicken sandwich just the way you like it.
Nat, you know what? Maybe you should wrap this up, take it home.
Um Saul's tired.
Tired?! l am not tired! Come on.
Let's get out of here.
Let's go home.
You're running out of jokes, Saul.
The day that l run out of jokes, that'll be the day Henny Youngman tells a new one.
Who's Henny Youngman? Youngman he's the king of the one-liners, 'cause the dummy can't remember two.
Jesse, it's not coming down.
lt's still over 103.
She's burning up.
lt's still over 103.
She's been that way for a couple of hours.
Uh-huh Okay, great.
Jesse, what'd they say? Well, it's not uncommon for an infant to run a high fever like that, but we need to take her in anyway.
lt's better safe than sorry.
lt's all right, sweetheart.
-lt's okay, it's okay.
-Honey, it's okay.
Lookie, lookie, look! Look, sweetie; all right, sweetie.
lt's all right, baby.
You're all right.
David, wake up! You're supposed to be studying.
l'm taking the information in through osmosis.
l tried that in high school.
lt didn't work.
-Hey, Ray.
-Hey.
Hey, Donna said you finally broke down and agreed to do the show, huh? What? We're holding a slot open for you opening night.
Really.
Donna, can l, uh, see you for a minute alone? -Ray.
-Now.
Sure.
Do l have to spell it out for you? l do not want to play at this club.
How many times do l have to tell you the same thing? l just don't get it, what's the big deal? lt's a great gig.
Yeah, and l don't want it, okay? You know, l don't understand.
Everyone is bending over backwards for you, and you don't even care.
All you want to do is show me off, so you can tell your mother what a big star l am.
Leave my mother out of this.
Oh, did l hit a nerve? You know, my mother has nothing to do with this.
l was trying to help you.
Donna, l didn't ask for your help, and l don't want it, so mind your own business and stop meddling in my life, okay? lt's going to be okay, honey, don't worry.
Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez? Here.
Peter? Andrea.
You two guys know each other? Uh, well, we met in the Laundromat.
Uh, Peter, this is my husband, Jesse Vasquez, and and, well, you remember our daughter Hannah? Yes, uh, certainly.
Uh, what seems to be the the problem? Well, she's been running a high fever for a few hours.
lt doesn't seem to want to come down.
Well, let's have a look, shall we? Okay.
Here's your water.
Did you let it run? Yes, l let it run.
lt's cold.
You're a good kid, Chuckie.
No matter what else Rush did, he raised a good boy.
Look, do me a favor, okay? Don't mention his name.
l'm not talking to my father right now.
Don't say that.
Please.
The most important thing is family.
Yeah.
Tell that to my old man.
l don't even think he knows what the word means.
What are you bitching about? You got it so bad? Look at you.
You got your whole life ahead of you.
Why don't you stop complaining? l hate my father.
He makes my life miserable.
My daughter hated me, too.
She said l worked too hard.
She was right.
l was always on the road, and when l was around, l fought with that kid night and day, till we finally stopped talking.
Months went by.
Then, one day, l call her on the phone, and l said, ''l just want you to know, honey ''no matter what happened between us, darling, l love you and l'll always love you.
'' Two weeks later l lost her.
But l thank God every day l made that phone call.
Chuckie.
Listen to me.
Do the right thing.
Don't let too much time go by before you make up with your father.
Otherwise, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Good night, Saul.
Chuckie? Yeah.
l know l'm losing my mind.
No, you're not.
You're gonna be fine.
Nah.
Today was just a good day.
So, if l do anything strange, please please don't let it bother you, huh? Don't worry, Saul.
Thanks, kid.
l spoke to your pediatrician.
She feels there's really no reason to keep Hannah here.
Her fever's down, and these things just happen with infants occasionally.
Well, at least she's finally asleep.
Would you step outside for a minute? Sure.
Hannah spent the first four months of her life in this hospital.
l hated bringing her here.
Why didn't you tell me Hannah was your baby? You didn't ask.
Oh, come on.
Thanks.
l guess when you thought l was the babysitter, l have to admit, for that one brief moment, l wanted to see what it was like not being a mom or a wife with too much laundry.
At least now l know why you didn't call.
l thought l was losing my touch.
You can rest easy.
Mrs.
O'Brien, telephone please.
Mrs.
O'Brien.
Listen, Andrea, you're not the only one who left out some relevant data.
Guilty.
Are you married? My wife likes to think so.
l can't believe it.
lt's funny how neither of us bothered to look for those little telltale rings till now, isn't it? lf you're married, what were you doing flirting with a babysitter in the Laundromat? Do you really have to ask that question Ms.
Fluff 'n' Fold? Or should l say missus? Hey, l've never done anything like that before in my life.
And you assume l have? Miss Aaron, telephone please.
l don't know what to think.
About any of this.
Look, the short version of the story is, l got married way too young for all the wrong reasons.
and now l'm paying the price, same as you.
-lt's not the same as me at all.
-lsn't it? When did you decide to get married, before or after you flunked the home pregnancy test? That's none of your business.
Mrs.
Hernandez, front desk, please.
Mrs.
Hernandez.
Hello? Kelly? Listen, it's Valerie.
Did you oversleep or something? Our psych final's in about five minutes.
Oh, my God.
l did.
l-l overslept.
Well, hurry up, and l'll just tell the proctor you're on your way, okay? Okay, l appreciate it, Valerie.
Hey, Sanders.
You're becoming a regular fixture around here.
Well, don't get used to it.
Well, listen, you've been a great help.
Thanks.
Sure.
Hi.
Big fella! That's nice.
Saul? Come on, Picasso.
You can do it.
Come on.
l guess it's time to rest, huh? That's okay.
That's okay.
You've already painted your masterpiece.
Give me a second.
Boy, it took a little longer than l expected in there.
How'd it go, man? Well, not so good.
What do you mean? What do l mean? l mean, that's some pretty crummy advice you gave me.
l can't believe l ever even listened to you.
Wait, wait, what happened? l'll tell you what happened.
l got probation for about a year.
They just took my license for a couple of months.
You bum.
That's great, man! Yeah, man.
Thanks.
You know, you've got a really lousy sense of humor.
You know that.
Yeah, but l got you, didn't l? What, for maybe, oh, l don't know, one second? Yeah, maybe two seconds.
Hey, you need a lift? No, thanks.
l think l better get used to taking the public transportation for a while, anyway, you know what l mean? -Have a safe ride.
-All right.
-Kiss the wife for me.
-Will do.
Oh, guys, relax.
We'll get it.
-Are you sure? -Yeah.
Thanks.
Go on.
-Okay, we're going.
We're going.
-Going.
Going.
Okay.
Brandon, would you take the trash out or something? ls that a cue for me to leave? -Mm-hmm.
-Mmm.
Don't kill each other while l'm gone.
Valerie l just wanted to thank you for what you did this morning.
No biggie.
You would've done the same for me, right? So, how'd you do on the test? You mean, did l pull through without the benefit of your notes? Yeah.
You can stop feeling guilty now.
Look, l'm trying to say l'm sorry.
l've been a bitch.
l owe you one.
Yeah.
You do.
But one of these days, l'll collect.
Saul! Saul, it's me.
Nat sent over some fresh peach pie for you.
That's okay, it'll keep.
lt's a beautiful day outside.
Do you want to take a walk or something? Maybe go down to the rec room, do some card tricks? l know what you want to do.
Steve.
Where have you been? l've been looking all over the place for you.
You called me ''Steve,'' not ''Chuckie.
'' Course l did.
What do you think l am, senile? You've known my name all along.
You've been calling me Chuckie to drive me nuts, huh? Did it work? Come on, let's go for a ride.
Sure.
Sure.
Only under one condition.
What's that? That l drive.
You're not driving.
Don't tell me l'm not driving.
Please, come on, let me drive.
l got a license.
Forget it.
You're not driving.
l'm older than you are.
Well, so? Let me have the keys.
Come on, Saul.