Black-ish (2014) s05e16 Episode Script

1 DRE: Forgiveness.
Black people in general are very forgiving.
We forgive our mayors.
We forgave a certain coffee chain for that racist manager calling the police on us.
Okay, maybe I forgave them a little earlier than most.
See, we understand that life is hard enough.
So being able to forgive people is necessary for us to let go and move on.
[Telephone rings, indistinct conversations.]
Yo.
PERRY: Hey, it's Perry Kyra's dad.
Can I talk to her? But there's some people you just can't forgive.
[Glass shatters.]
Kyra's been with us all these months - and this is the first time he calls? - Unbelievable.
Yeah, I know, Perry.
I know.
You know I know.
What kind of dad would just abandon his daughter and let her couch surf for years? Why are we so upset? Because Kyra's an honorary Johnson now.
We accepted her with open arms.
Turn off the lights and turn off the TV because Kyra is gonna have to take care of Kyra! - RAINBOW: Dre, Dre.
- Hmm? Kyra's here.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Okay, maybe not.
But what choice did we have? Things were pretty rough for her before she got to us.
A couple years ago, I stayed in a shelter for a bit, and all my stuff got stolen.
- Oh - Turns out, I love to travel light.
[Laughs loudly.]
Bow, I don't think that was a joke.
- That one wasn't - No.
We worked hard to get her into a better school.
Well, she got in.
- What? - Oh, my goodness! - I'm perfect.
- [Laughs.]
She's finally comfortable with her new life, and she's truly one of us.
I think that's a ladies' jacket.
Proud of that girl.
And nothing can slow her down.
Except her daddy, Perry.
That dude has never had his act together.
Like, he spent all of '09 squatting in foreclosed homes.
And didn't you tell me that he was gonna try and start a vape shop/phone screen repair store? - Yes! - You talking about Shattered Grass? I still think that's a good idea.
Mama, what did he say? - He's coming to get her.
- Excuse me? Well, he just can't take her away from us.
Yeah, well, he's coming Tuesday.
Tuesday?! Oh, my God! Dre Kyra just hit her stride at Valley Glen.
I mean, she she killed it at that science fair.
Yeah, she got Jack excited about science.
- I know.
- Y-You know he got a C-plus - on his bio test the other day? - I know.
Oh, I can't believe Perry's doing this.
Oh, I'm sorry.
We don't support a black father who comes back for his child? That's who we are now? - That's exactly who we are.
- Mm-hmm.
And we are gonna do whatever it takes to protect her from this ass - Okay, don - Oh, hey, KiKi.
- [Chuckles.]
So, you - Hey, sweetie.
So, you talked to your dad? I guess I'm moving to Houston.
Well, yeah, that's great.
Right? Honestly, I don't know how I feel about it.
It's just that things are going pretty well here.
Maybe we can figure something out.
I hope so.
Okay, we need to figure something out.
Yeah, like figure out how to plant some drugs on Perry.
Mama, what you got in your purse? Shh.
You never know who's listening.
So, when are you moving? I don't know.
Soon? - This sucks.
- Guys, you know she's only gonna be 20 minutes away, right? - Where do you think Houston is? - In Pasadena? Th-They got that spinach dip You really think Kyra's dad lives in a restaurant? No.
Above a restaurant.
Well, let's try to make the most of your last days in California.
Like a bucket list.
Let's go to Rodeo Drive and tell everyone that we're Will and Jada's kids and see all the free stuff we get.
What about chili dogs from Larry's? - I know I'm gonna miss that.
- Ugh, come on.
Guys, think bigger.
This is L.
A.
We can go see "The Brady Bunch" house or take the "Where Are They Now" reality stars tour.
Spoiler alert they're all working retail.
Rodeo Drive it is.
Junior, you make sure there's gas in the car, and, Jack, hit the couch in Dad's room because we're gonna need cash.
Any questions? Does Perry really think I'm gonna let Kyra go live with a deadbeat like him? Hey! We prefer the term "remote father.
" - Okay, my bad.
- Charlie, you're a deadbeat dad? Let he who is without bench warrant for late child support cast the first stone.
What's wrong, Dre? Hm? Lose another one of your sports heroes taken down by security footage? My little cousin's father is here to take her back to Houston with him, and I don't want him to take her.
Ah, two Black fathers fighting to take care of a Black youth.
[Chuckles.]
It's a tale as old as this sentence.
JOSH: Sometimes I used to wish that a strong, caring Black father would come for me when I was a boy.
Like Carl Winslow.
You know, he stood by Urkel even though he broke everything in his house.
Never disowned him.
[Voice breaking.]
And it's because he knew family mattered - [Cries.]
- Okay, buddy.
You know what? Go take a lap.
I'll be right back.
[Josh sobbing.]
- You know, Dre? - Hmm? Houston's all right.
I mean, any city named after Marques Houston I mean, it can't be all that bad, right? Mm Okay.
Dude popping up like this, you know, wanting to snatch her from us? That's got to be illegal.
Dre, you are gonna need a lawyer.
Ah, okay.
Criminal, civil, marit Oh, gosh.
How did my pool boy get in here? Oh, you know what? He actually He did.
He cleaned up a big mess for me.
Time to lawyer up.
I'm gonna text Bow.
[Panting.]
Guys, I am back, and I'm steady as a rock! [Voice breaking.]
Oh, shoot.
I bet The Rock's a great dad, too.
- [Sobs.]
- STEVENS: For God's sakes.
So we went to see one of the top family law practitioners in the city.
- So? - If the father wants her, you have absolutely no legal recourse.
- What?! - You could've Googled this and saved yourself $500.
That'll be $500.
So, yeah, there's nothing we can do because we're not her legal guardians.
I told you to claim her on your taxes, - like I do all your kids.
- What? I'm technically married to Devante.
Ain't that right, Mr.
Johnson? [Laughs.]
Hey.
The two of you are acting like you've lost your minds.
It's always best for the child to be with the parent.
Is it? Or should she be with a family who loves her and wants her here? We all love that little red-headed chipmunk.
- But her daddy's coming Tuesday.
- Hang on.
What if we lock all the doors, and when he tries to get in, call it trespassing? - Peep this, though.
- Uh-huh? - We leave the doors unlocked - Okay? - so he gets in - Yeah.
and then it's stand your ground.
- Boom! - Oh, ho, and then we got him! - Yes! - Ha, ha! Nope, nope.
- No, wh Why not? - This isn't Florida.
Damn it! We got to come up with a real plan.
- He's gonna be here in four days.
- Yeah.
[Knock on door.]
- Who's that? - PERRY: Is this the Johnson residence? Wait a minute.
That sounds like Perry! He's early? What kind of Black man is he? Surprise.
- Ah - Yeah.
[Chuckles.]
What are you doing here already? We thought you weren't coming till Tuesday.
Yep.
People have a tendency to leave when they know I'm coming.
- Yeah.
- So bam! I'm coming.
Kyra! Your daddy's here! - Okay.
Come on in.
- Come in.
- This is great.
- Welcome.
So, Kyra's dad was here four days early, which was smart, because we didn't have time to plot against him.
- "Perry Ellis, make 'em jealous.
" - BOW: What? "Rubilene, two sugars, one cream.
" You look magnificent.
Aww.
Hey.
Where you been, man? What are you doing here? What he means is, where you been, man? - And what are you doing here? - Well, I-I I know that the two of you feel some sort of way about me.
- Uh-huh.
- Mm.
I get it.
I've been gone a long time.
But the prodigal dad has returned.
- Mm.
- And I returned bearing gifts from my travels.
- That's right.
- [Bag rustles.]
I know it gets hot in L.
A.
This here that you're looking at is a custom steering wheel cover.
- Oh.
- Custom.
One size fits all.
Put that on your steering wheel and cover it.
Hey, Dad.
Hi, baby girl.
Come here and give me a hug.
Kyra, your father drove all the way here from Houston.
Gonna give him a hug? We can start with a nod.
- [Whispers.]
That seems fair, considering.
- [Scoffs.]
Show me this fine house where they can keep all the lights on during the day.
I couldn't wait to get here.
As soon as I saw them pictures with you in that red-velvet hair.
I said wait till she sees this raspberry iced tea.
Oh.
Bad news.
Kyra's dad is downstairs.
She's leaving tonight.
But I thought we were gonna do L.
A.
big.
Plus I even bought these leather pants! Ooh.
Man, when you miss, you miss hard.
Oh.
Look, we can still make it to Larry's and back and get her that chili dog.
Great.
I'll drive.
We've got a cousin who's about to reunite with her estranged father.
So buckle up.
[Keys jingle.]
[Whispers.]
We're running yellows.
Just can't believe how big you've gotten.
I can remember when we were the same height.
How old were you then? [Whispering.]
Look at him sweet-talking her.
He is not fooling me.
He has unleashed a fierce mama bear.
[Whispering.]
You know, if I could just get him in the backyard, I could beat his ass for trespassing.
- Dre.
- Hmm? That's awful.
We just redid the patio.
If you're gonna do that, take him in the bathroom.
Can I? I can't wait to get back to Houston.
I've been in barber college all year.
Just finally got my license.
- You did? - Wow.
Okay.
So, you set up in a shop already? Yeah.
How much do new barbers make? Mm, I do okay.
What exactly is "okay"? - In American dollars.
- Hey, Kyra? Why don't you go upstairs and get ready to go.
And don't forget those pantyhose I bought you.
- Okay.
- And remember roll, don't fold! - Got it.
- All right.
And let's not forget we're family.
You're right, Mama.
Hey, fam.
Are you prepared to take care of a teenager? What are you gonna do with her schooling? Honestly, I think she should go.
You? Yes.
She should go to school, Perry.
Relax.
I think there's a school right across the street from the barber shop.
You think there's a school? Okay.
How 'bout I pour everybody some lemonade? - Come on, y'all.
- Sure.
DRE: I-I-I'm sure that after that long drive Perry just did, he don't want no lemonade.
RAINBOW: Dre, what are you I'm sure Perry would like some water.
What are - Yes.
- Okay, well, come on.
Let's go in the backyard and get some water, Perry.
You don't, uh, keep your water in the refrigerator? Nope.
Faucet's broken, too.
- Andre.
- Hmm? You're acting crazy.
You need to figure this out.
Okay.
I didn't mean to upset everybody with a beverage request.
Um what's really going on, Dre? Look here, man.
Uh Why don't you just do the right thing and let Kyra stay here? She's doing so well in school.
And this is a really important time for her.
And I just Can't we figure something out? Look, man, you can cut hair here in L.
A.
- I can make a few phone calls.
- Yes! - We can help you get an apartment.
- Yes.
- Everything will be great.
- Yes! It'll be a win-win.
Guys.
Thank you for looking out for her.
You did great.
But I'm gonna take it from here.
- [Sighs.]
- And I'm gonna do a great job by Kyra.
In Houston.
And I got a great place.
I got a couch a great couch.
Eco-friendly, faux suede couch.
- What? - I don't own it all, but legally, three of five cushions are mine.
Great.
I'm joking, Dre.
I got furniture.
Ain't nothing funny 'bout this, Perry.
Why don't you do what you do best, man? Just leave and turn your back on her.
Okay, I'ma take that one.
And I am gonna leave.
To go wait in the car for Kyra.
Okay.
I, uh Thank you for the, um, - steering wheel cover.
- Bow.
- But he bought it as a gift.
- Yeah.
Let it go.
Well, that's that.
[Door closes.]
- It's okay.
- Okay.
JACK: [Sighs.]
Oh, no! We're not gonna have time for this! We'll miss Kyra.
What if we politely explain our situation Hey, guys! They opened up another register out back.
No line! Sweet! - Let's go.
- Hurry up, hurry up! Now that all the dummies are filtered out, it's time to get to work.
They're towing a silver Prius around the corner! [Rapping.]
I ain't from the new school But I always been a leader - J-Ro go for 24 like keefer - Excuse me, sir.
- [Laughs.]
Hey - [Record scratch.]
Charles.
Diane.
[Knock on door.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Kind of crazy.
I came here with one backpack, and now I have two suitcases.
- Oh.
- I really came up.
Well [Clears throat.]
I actually think we're the ones who came up.
When you first got here, you wouldn't even let me hug you.
- Yeah, but still - Mm.
- not feeling it.
- [Chuckles.]
[Chuckling.]
Okay.
Whatever.
I wish we could've convinced your dad that you could say.
I'm so sorry.
I-I don't know what else we can do.
You don't have to do anything.
He drove all the way down here from Houston.
- Mm-hmm.
- He spent 15 months getting a barber's license.
- He did.
- And he dyed his hair for me.
I think he's serious this time.
We just [Inhales deeply.]
We want to protect you.
You don't have to.
He's my dad.
- Can I get one more hug? - A small one.
- I wanted a big one.
- S-Small one.
- Let's do a medium one.
- Okay.
Bring it in.
[Chuckles.]
All right, sweetheart.
You finish packing up.
Hey.
Please take that history book right there.
Texas has, uh a weird version of the Civil War.
- RAINBOW: Dre.
- Hmm? If it makes you feel any better, she actually wants to go with him.
[Scoffs.]
- She's 15.
- I know.
She doesn't know what she wants.
- Yesterday - Mm-hmm? she wanted a tattoo on her lip - that said "Elbow.
" - What? Yeah.
She said it was ironic.
- That's not ironic! - Yeah, it's moronic.
Okay, but, Dre, I feel like we need to get on board.
Or what kind of relationship are we gonna have with her in the long run? You're right, babe.
It's gonna be hard, but you're right.
Think maybe we should spend a little time with her before she leaves? That is a good idea.
- All right.
I'll be right up.
- Okay.
What the hell's going on, man? Oh, hey, Dre.
I, uh, didn't want to bug you for a jump, so I just decided to do it myself.
You gonna help a brother out, or you just gonna stand there? Let me ask you something, man.
Why do you want to blow up Kyra's life? Look, Dre, I know my life may look a little different than yours because you come up and you're really doing your thing now.
But I got it from here.
That's just it, Perry.
You don't.
You never have.
And now you want to roll the dice with Kyra's future because you worry that she's old enough to figure out what kind of man you really are.
How do you know that Kyra staying with relatives wasn't the best move at the time? How do you know that her coming with me isn't the best move now? Maybe you're right.
Maybe I just don't get you because I never abandoned my kids.
Andre! Get in here.
[Quietly.]
Your mama's calling.
[Door slams.]
Sit down.
[Chair scrapes.]
What do you think you're doing? Fighting for someone who doesn't have anyone to fight for her.
Bow's out, you're out.
Nobody's out, we're just trying to do what's best for the girl! What's best for the girl is stability, Mama! I know what it's like to deal with a father who isn't always there.
Yeah, but you still wanted to be with him.
And when he walked back in, I wanted to put my hand in some lemonade, too! But he was trying to do better, the same way this man is.
Hold up, Mama, are you asking me to forgive Perry? Because I can't do that.
No, I'm asking you to get out of the way as the man tries to redeem himself.
I did that for you so you could build a relationship with your father.
Don't you think Kyra deserves the same chance? It's just so hard to do.
It is hard.
But, hey, it worked for me.
Your daddy lives here, so I get to put toenails in his bedsheets.
[Chuckles.]
JUNIOR: Guys, Grandma texted.
Kyra's about to leave.
[Sighs.]
What are we going to do? There's four people ahead of us.
COUNTER PERSON: Greg! Order for Greg! [Diane clears throat.]
Ooh.
Oh, wow.
You must be Greg, too.
You know, we we have a dad that's named Run! Hey! That's my food! All right, sweetie.
Now, you know your hair's not gonna lie down like that in Houston, right? I got you some edge control, ponytail holders, and a wave cap.
Humidity does not discriminate.
[Laughs.]
I love you.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I know your dad wants to get on the road, but I so wish that the kids were here so they could say goodbye to you.
I'm really gonna miss you guys.
Oh, we're gonna miss you.
I love you, sweetheart.
Oh, you know, Houston is only three hours away, and I'm always happy to get away from these guys.
[Dre chuckles.]
[Whispering.]
Hey, look here, baby girl.
Uh here's $500.
And, uh, my mama's Life Alert.
If anything jumps off, you just push that button.
- But - Hey, shh.
Come on.
All right? [Louder.]
Our door is open for you anytime, okay? - Thank you.
- Okay.
Hey, um Perry.
Look, man.
I don't mess with you, and I'm never gonna mess with you.
But I'm not gonna stand in your way because baby girl, she needs you.
But if you blow it this time, we gonna get that drink of water.
That's a drink of water we'll never have.
Be safe on the road, man.
You got precious cargo.
Excellent.
PERRY: Now, how do I get to the I-10? - All right.
Back up.
- Well, you got to go down to Ventura - Turn to the left and turn to - No, I know.
Get on the Okay.
I-I got it.
[Ruby chuckles.]
[Car door closes.]
[Engine starts.]
Ugh, I hope this works out.
I know how much they both want it.
- Yeah.
Hey, baby.
- [Vehicle departing.]
Did he go upstairs? Don't think so.
I didn't check his pockets.
Get your back up off the wall 'Cause I heard all the people sayin' Get down on it Come on and Get down on it If you really want it Get down on it You've got to feel it Get down on it Get down on it - Who are these fools? - They're my cousins.
They talk about my parenting and they got kids that run up on armed adults? Did someone order a Larry's chili dog? This is so nice.
And you got enough for Uncle Pernard, too? We, uh We did, yep.
We got you this whole big bag.
Yep.
DIANE: We're gonna miss you.
It's been great having you with us.
Good luck in Houston.
You guys are the best.
Yeah.
Good looking out, Greg! [Bag rustles.]
You gotta get on the groove [Sighs.]
Wow.
Uncle Pernard seems nice.