Nip/Tuck s05e16 Episode Script

Previously on "nip/tuck" I am not ready to operate! The cervical nerves are still inflamed,and my hands aren't what they were.
Where's your partner? I prefer to work alone.
Very nice.
Are you a doctor? I'm your husband.
I can't walk.
It's hard.
So is stage ii breast cancer! What does breast cancer have to do with anything? I have it.
Let me tell you what I don't like about yourself.
Raj.
I'm very sorry about that.
Dr.
Paresh is new here,I'm afraid,and a little overzealous.
Miss shelly,tell us what you don't like about yourself.
It's mr.
Shelly for starters.
You are a man.
Sean could you send gunga din out for some water,please? That's all right.
We're used to it,aren't we,tracey? I can't tell you how many times we've been mistaken for sisters over the past few years,even lesbians.
What we are is horse people.
We have a ranch up in santa clarita.
The ranch hands have taken to calling me "ma'am" behind my back.
But you're generally in good health.
Never been sick a day in my life,but I turned 45,and suddenly, all my muscles have turned to jelly,my tummy is all flab, and I've got jowls like my grandmother.
Have you experienced a decrease in your sex drive? No question about that.
Just being honest,honey.
Hot flashes,irritability? Oh,my lord.
You're going through the change.
Actually,a gradual decrease in testosterone can cause a hormonal condition similar to those experienced by women.
It is called andropause,from the greek,"andro" meaning male,"pause" meaning stop.
There are various forms of testosterone replacement--injections,creams.
- And risk cancer? - Shit.
I'd rather turn into a girl.
Which,in fact,is a distinct possibility hormonally speaking.
Chemotherapy can produce temporary or permanent sterility in men because of the effect upon the testes.
Ask dr.
Christian troy.
- Dr.
Paresh.
- It's all right.
It's all right,sean.
I,uh--I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.
I know all there is to know about hormone therapies.
You poor man.
I'm so sorry.
Well,mr.
Shelly,we can certainly give you more definition in your jaw line, tighten up your cheeks,give you some pec implants.
No offense here,doctor,but--heh heh-- who the heck is gonna do the surgery? I mean,you're in a wheelchair,and he's getting chemo,and how old are you,son? Mr.
Shelly,regardless of what dr.
Mcnamara and I are going through, I assure you that we can make you look as virile and masculine as the man you are inside.
ÈÙÓþ³öÆ· ±¾×ÖÄ»½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½»Á÷ ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌҵ;¾ -=YTET-ÒÁµéÔ°×ÖÄ»×é=- ·­Òë: ³¤ÀÖδÑë ´ó·ð ³ÁÊ«Âä¾² ¿¨·ò¿¨ ²Ý£¨35¾ä£© У Ô: ·ÛÄͲݵη¹Õ³×Ó Ê±¼äÖá: ßÇÈâÈâ Nip/Tuck Season05 Episode16 Had probably been on for about an hour and soaking wet, and there were two of my neighbors walked over This might sting as it enters the system.
Where's the call button? I'm nearby.
Don't worry.
When is the nausea most likely-- Lizzie.
Lizzie,lizzie,I'm a big boy,ok? I'll ask the questions.
I mean,really,when's the last time I--you know, to just take a look at nature,just to really,fully take it in? You know,the other day,I decided to lay down on the grass for a while and just look up at the sky.
Stop it.
You've been a lesbian so long, you forgot that men don't like to be patted when you're puking.
Got you.
Shit! I hate vomiting.
It means that it's working,doll.
That's an urban myth.
What are you doing? I don't need a mommy,I don't want a mommy.
Stop being my mommy! Will you get me some water,please? Where's your toy? Here.
There you go.
Now you can focus on what really counts,right,picking up some babes in the park,hmm? Um,look.
Mommy's here.
Are you ready to go do some swinging? I made some pasta.
It's in the fridge and some juice boxes there if you want to grab a couple.
Do you need some,uh-- No,no,no.
I got it.
I'm ok.
Looks like you've really mastered that thing.
It's not hard once you get used to it.
How's olivia? Great.
She's really taking care of me.
And how are you? The doctor said it will take as long as it takes,that i shouldn't expect any miracles.
Some things are coming back,although I don't remember the actual incident, but,you know,childhood memories and my grandparents, relatives,our years together.
I know you're still mad at me.
Matt told me.
I just don't understand why you'd lie to me like that,you know, tell me we were still married.
I guess at the time it just seemed like it would help.
Who? You or me? Olivia's working late all week.
When was the last time you had a good home-cooked meal? You know what's great? You haven't lost any hair from the chemo yet.
You'd like to see me bald? What are you talking about? Did you know that 17% of cancer patients don't actually use their hair? That's gonna be me,buddy boy.
I am stronger than any of that chemical bullshit they can dish at me.
So,pal,even on chemo,I'm gonna be better-looking than you.
Don't be an asshole.
I was just making conversation.
What I should have said was i feel terrible you're going through this, but I'm here for you,whatever you need.
I'll let you know when i need your help.
I'm fine.
You don't look fine.
Why don't you take the day off? We have a patient.
You're sure as shit not gonna operate,are you? Raj is here.
I'm assisting.
You're ridiculous,all right? Plus,look.
I need to work,ok? You need a hand wheeling yourself out of here,killer? No.
I'm fine,pal.
Soon,it will be you in his place,dr.
Christian troy,and me in yours.
May I say that it will be an honor to do your reconstruction.
Christian and I haven't actually discussed you performing the surgery,raj.
That's because there's nothing to talk about.
You're doing it,all right? Jesus christ! We're talking about my tit here.
I want the best.
I can't operate in this chair.
Well,I will rig the table so that you can reach it.
I mean,jesus,sean.
A little help here,linda.
I mean,who cranked up the heat in here? What,are you trying to make it feel like sweet home calcutta? No one touches the thermostat in here but me.
I'm sick and tired of talking about you and that chair.
Could you pass me a tray,please,linda? Ok.
Who wants to close? There you go.
Are you expecting a play date,gloria? Uh,no.
Wilber and I go to the park,mr.
Christian.
Oh,hello.
Where's matt? Tuesday's his day to watch jenna.
Well,you're a little early because it's monday.
What? You're kidding.
- No.
- No,no,no.
No,no,no.
I can't cancel my massage,christian.
Do you have any idea how tense I've been? Sure.
Well,you know,grandpa can take care of her.
No.
She can't be around you.
- What if she catches something? - What? Ah,gloria.
Gloria,right? Is that your name? Hi.
Um,how would you like to make a little extra dinero right now? Yeah? If you could watch my daughter till I get back from my appointment, I will give you dos--dos hundred dollars.
Is that fair? Ok.
Great.
Here we go.
- Oh,little corazon.
- Oh,yes.
Ok.
Here we go.
Here's her bag.
Ok.
- And the money? - Money,yes.
Very good.
There you go.
Ok.
Yes.
Good-bye.
Here we go.
- Come on,wilber.
- See you later,wilber.
See you.
You be a good boy,all right? I'm sorry about the jenna thing.
You understand.
I just--I want what's best for her.
Do you have any water? I need to start flushing my toxins right now.
I'm exhausted.
I understand.
In fact,I've never seen you this tense.
You have no idea.
I mean,maybe a little bit with the cancer,but being a mother--there's nothing more stressful.
I bet.
And with eden living with you and ram, I'm sure you're not getting the attention you need.
You always know what to do.
That's because I'm a real man.
I want to hear you say it.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
You're a real man,baby.
- Leave it on.
- Real men have scars.
I'm sorry.
- That's disgusting.
- What? It's--it's disgusting,and I'm not surprised because you,with all of your self-loathing and the way you've treated people, I mean,no wonder you pulled that in.
I did what? You did this.
It's karma,christian.
It's a bitch.
Are you gloating at the fact that I have cancer? Get out of here.
I bet that made you feel like a real man now,huh,throwing me around like that? I feel sorry for you,christian.
I do,but when you look at all the emotional scars you've left on other women over the years I'm surprised that this didn't happen to you sooner.
You're a great candidate for liposuction,miss taylor.
The incisions will be very small,i promise.
Your co-workers won't notice a thing except how much better you look of course.
So it says here that you take naproxen and celebrex for arthritis, tagamet for gerd--ahem--and liotrix for hypothyroidism? Ok.
And you take tagamet every day? Yes.
Uh,that's right.
Ok.
Um,I'm gonna--I'm gonna have to look this up just because I'm not sure that you should be taking all these if-- ok.
Let's just--let's move on for a second.
Um,your face-lift.
So I can easily remove your brown lines with injections of botox here and here and pull back here and here.
- That hurts! - Ok.
Stop.
I'm sorr--I'm sorry.
Are you trying to break my skin with that thing? This isn't worth $15 an hour.
She's a real live person,dr.
Pendell,not just some body on a table.
You know,you have to talk to her,you have to listen to her.
What's your name,ma'am? Lila rusovic.
Ms.
Rusovic,thank you so much for coming today.
I know it's not much money for your time, but it really helps the students to practice their consultations.
That's ok.
I enjoy the role-playing.
It's more fun than sitting around watching the soaps all day.
Well,good.
Let's talk about your prescriptions before we talk about the operation.
How long have you had this thyroid problem? - 4 years.
- Ok.
Have you been on the liotrix the whole time? I was in awe at the way you connected with that woman.
You're connecting now,daphne! - I can take good care of people.
- Yes,you can.
- I know I can.
- You can.
Oh,god,you are beautiful.
You're a big boy.
Oh,yeah,my baby.
My big,beautiful baby boy.
Oh,my god.
Oh,please,mommy.
What the hell's going on here? Jesus,raj.
You're a physician.
This is a place of business.
Back off,doc holiday.
I was just thanking raji for the bang-up job he did on gene.
Well,next time,buy him a muffin basket.
Do you have any idea what kind of a lawsuit we'd be facing if gene found out about this? You're all down but 9,doctor.
What the hell does that mean? It means you're missing the point.
Not a whole lot to do up in horse country except ride and screw.
Trace and I,we like to stay open-minded.
Well,next time,open your minds and your mouths somewhere else.
You are tight as a spring.
If you don't release some of that energy you got gurgling up in your pants, you're gonna give yourself a heart attack.
Please forgive me,dr.
Christian troy.
I have never experienced a woman before.
It was so glorious.
Go home,raj.
Look at you.
You're practically walking again.
Can you grab my chair? - Yeah.
- Leave it where it is.
I want to see you walk to it yourself.
- You can do it.
- No,I can'T.
Just bring it over,please.
You want the chair again,you're going to have to get it on your own.
I can--I can'T.
Come on,man.
He already wore himself out.
Just bring him the chair.
Your muscle mass is normal,your range of motion is above average.
I've worked in rehabilitation for 9 years.
I know when someone is ready to walk,and I know when someone is refusing to.
Matt,the chair.
- You can walk! - I need the chair! You can walk! Walk,sean! Walk! Oh,dad! You ok? You're fired.
Get out of here.
You're babying him.
I said get the hell out of here! You have no idea what you're doing or how to treat people,sot go! Here.
It's ok,man.
You'll walk when you're ready.
You're doing the best you can.
I know that.
Thank you.
I love washing your body.
I want to take away all your pain,all your trauma,all your fear.
Why don't you join me,huh? Come on.
Aw,the big,bad monster lady took away all your trust,didn't she? Actually,I'm doing pretty fine at the moment.
- Sean,I have an idea.
- What? I know just what you need,baby.
- Come here.
Put your arms around me.
- Daphne,take your clothes off.
Trust me,baby.
Trust me.
Come on.
- Put your arms around mommy.
- Ok.
Come on,baby.
Hold on.
Hold on to mommy.
Oh,there you go.
Oh,there you go.
Oh,baby's all clean now.
Come here.
Just one more thing.
Just think how soft and smooth you'll be for mommy,huh? Sweetie,what are you doing? Don't you trust me? Show me how brave you are.
You need to learn how to trust again,baby.
You like the foamy friction? Oh,yes,you do.
No,no.
Stay still.
Stay very still.
No sudden moves so mommy's hand won't slip.
You are gonna be as soft and smooth as a baby's bottom.
That's it.
Hey,baby.
Who the hell are you? I'm kitty.
We talked on the phone.
We may have talked on the phone,but you're not kitty,not the kitty I saw on craigslist.
Yeah.
That picture's a few years old.
And of someone else.
Look,dude.
I'm here,I have a vagina.
It's a pretty good one,believe it or not,and for 300 bucks, you can put your dick in it or any of my other welcoming holes, and afterwards,I will leave without asking for so much as a hot pocket.
So am I staying or going? - Fine.
- Ok.
Cool-moe-dee.
So do you want,um,straight sex or something kinky? Just something straight.
Don'T.
You want a drink? Sure.
Nice digs.
I was once with one of the dudes from "taxi" at a place very near here a few years a go.
You don't have aids or anything,do you? Because you--you look like shit.
No.
I have cancer.
Well,no refunds if you can't get it up.
I'll be fine.
As long as you're not contagious.
Jesus christ! What,you swallow a whole loaf of garlic bread? I went to the olive garden.
I've got to eat,don't I? Oh,god! Get out.
Oh,relax.
I have an altoid.
I don't know where you get off being so choosy.
Have you taken a good look at yourself? You're no rico suave.
No refunds.
I want my money.
For stinking up my living room? I walk through the door,i get paid.
Fine.
What are you doing? Give me that.
Give it to me.
Give it to me! Don't take those.
Please.
I need them.
I'm sick.
Call your doctor.
Dickhead.
It's me.
Can you come over? Where's wilber? At the nanny's house.
He's close with her son.
And how did you say the lamp broke? I told you.
I tripped.
Why's it smell like shalimar? Shit.
Liz! I'm not watching.
Aren't you gonna do the rub my back thing? Here.
Take this.
You'll be out before you know it,and tonight will seem like a bad dream.
You're the real deal,lizzie.
Who knew? I left you juice,I cleaned the lamp,I scrubbed the toilet.
You're gonna be good.
I will see you in the morning.
Liz.
Yeah? Can you stay awhile,just until I fall asleep? Dr.
Christian troy.
I apologize if I am late.
No.
You're right on time.
I was just thinking,while we're at it,why don't we got a little bit bigger,huh, bulk it up a little,you know,bilateral implants? Let me show you what I was thinking.
Ok.
Dr.
Liz cruz,we are meeting in here.
Ok.
Hi,christian.
What do you think,lizzie,one pec or two? One.
I don't think your chest needs any more inflating.
Here we are then.
3-d imaging,the latest in cat scan technology.
- How you feeling? - Good.
Thanks.
Thanks for coming over.
I will now present a 3-d rendering of dr.
Christian troy's custom-made pectoralis implant.
What is going on here? Oh,raj is showing us a demonstration of my breast implants.
Without consulting me? You said you didn't want to do it.
- What,do you want me to beg? - Fine.
It's your body.
Sean,christian had a really rough night last night, so maybe this isn't the time to have that discussion.
Lizzie,it's really not your concern,and by the way, why did you leave this morning without saying good-bye? You mean,without making you breakfast? Left? What were you doing at our place? She was holding my head up while I was puking in the bowl.
What,are you gonna get pissed because I didn't call you at your girlfriend's so you could come over and do that,too? It was really no big deal.
I just came over,I kept him company,I rubbed his back, and then we just drifted off into sleep,and,you know,it was-- Liz cruz,you and dr.
Christian troy had sexual intercourse.
- You and liz had sex? - Yeah,sean.
Lizzie was there for me.
She spread her legs and made me feel good.
- You were awake? - Yep.
I got my mojo back.
It just happened.
- Um,I was practically asleep,and i thought that he was asleep.
- Wait,wait,wait,wait.
Practically asleep? Nobody orgasms like that if they're practically asleep? You pretended to be out of it,and why didn't you say anything? Lizzie,it was late,and i know what lesbians are like.
They like to cuddle and talk afterwards.
You arrogant,little prick.
Oh,come on,lizzie.
It's not a big deal.
Oh,no! You're right.
You know what? It is no big deal because I knew that you weren't sleeping, and I faked my orgasm,and you are a lousy lay! That is a snap.
She didn't fake it.
Nobody fakes it that good.
Nobody.
Ooh,yeah! Oh,god.
I love how smooth you are down there.
I have some surprises for my baby tonight.
I like that.
Oh,that's warm.
I don't want your skin to be all dry down there.
One more.
I get to do you next,ok? Close your eyes.
Don't look.
- Ok.
- Ok.
You ready? You ready for mommy? Don't look.
Almost there.
Yeah.
Good boy.
- What the-- - Good boy.
Oh,my god! Your legs! - A diaper? - You cahn walk? Yeah.
It's a goddamn miracle.
Now,you,out! But--you know what? You love it.
You love the attention.
You love being treated like a child.
I'm not your big baby huey,ok? Yeah.
You're a big baby liar pretending that you needed a wheelchair.
Not anymore! Hiya,mr.
Raj.
How you doing? Oh,my.
You have a penis.
It goes with my balls but it doesn't make me any less of a woman.
Raj,am I interrupting? Are you meditating? I am praying to free myself from impurity and sin.
Well,aim high.
- Liz cruz? - Yeah? Why do you choose to rub vaginas with your own sex? Attraction isn't something you choose.
It's just who you are.
But what if I don't want to be what I am? What are you talking about? I was very attracted to tracey shelly.
We had oral copulation.
It was more ecstatic than releasing my kundalini.
Ok.
You know what? I don't think I want to know any more.
But just now in the men's room, I discovered tracey had a penis.
Oh,wait a minute.
Tracey is a man? Yes.
The best sex I have ever had was from a dude.
Look.
It is ok to be confused.
Sex is like politics.
You label yourself--republican,democrat; straight or gay--and then one day, you cross party lines because you have a strong feeling about a particular candidate, and then you don't know what you are.
I like breasts,liz cruz.
Well,so do I.
Or I did.
You don't like them anymore? Of course I do.
Labels are for cans of tuna,not people.
Thank you,liz cruz.
I think you are a beautiful lesbian or nonlesbian,whatever you decide.
I'm sorry.
It's broken? No.
I'm sorry because you're such an idiot for punching a wall.
Yeah.
Well,he's lucky he wasn't at home when mom told me, or else it would be his busted head you'd be examining.
Just take a breath,all right? I'm surprised you're not angrier,christian.
I'm still not convinced you saw what you saw.
Sean was standing there naked at the front door,tossing some floozy out, and then he smoothly walked back to his room.
I mean,the whole thing was so inconceivable that first I thought it was you.
And then you noticed the missing 3 inches? Be serious,christian.
Now sean's made fools of all of us.
The only reason I was there was because I actually felt sorry for him because I saw your empty refrigerator.
I was actually gonna cook dinner for him.
I just don't understand why he'd do it.
I mean,it's just so much more work trying to pull this off then it would be if he just stood up.
Well,he's a big baby.
He wanted attention.
I was around all the time.
He got mom to forgive him out of pity.
Sean has used us,he has manipulated us to fulfill some kind of regression fantasy.
You know,you're actually sick,christian,and he stuck you with all the work.
He's so addicted to coddling,he's letting that indian kid do your reconstruction surgery.
You know,he's supposed to be your best friend.
Look.
I say we all wait for him here,push him down to the pier, and dump him and that chair into the ocean and see how fast his legs start working then.
I'll deal with this alone.
And,julia,start using the front door.
Oh,you caught me.
I was just finishing my shoulder presses.
Helps me get up those ramps,you know? I had one more set.
Right.
What are you doing home so early? What? What's going on? We need to talk about what is going on with you and this chair.
You're right,and I know what this is about.
You're still pissed that I'm not doing your surgery,and I get it.
No one feels worse about it than i do, but if you think you can force me to get better so i just jump up and walk aback into surgery,you're wrong.
I don't need any more pressure right now.
I'm doing the best i can,all right? I know you are.
You always have.
You've always been the responsible one.
You're the one who studied in college while i was out partying.
You're the one who had kids and got married while I was screwing around.
Must be exhausting having to take care of everybody else.
All I want to say is you stay in that chair as long as you need.
As far as the surgery's concerned,that can wait as long as it takes.
All right? Shit.
Chemo.
Don't fight it.
It's less painful that way.
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