Phineas and Ferb s05e16 Episode Script

1 There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation and school comes along just to end it So the annual problem for our generation is finding a good way to spend it Like maybe Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy or climbing up the Eiffel Tower Discovering something that doesn't exist - Hey! - # Or giving a monkey a shower # Surfing tidal waves Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain It's over here! Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent - # Or driving our sister insane # - Phineas! As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do - # before school starts this fall # - Come on, Perry.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence! - I am ashparash! - Our dimension is changed.
- What's that? - It's Elvish.
- I feel it in the water.
- Yes, but what does it mean? It doesn't mean anything.
It's a made-up language.
- I feel it in the Earth.
- Oh, then I want to try one.
I feel it in the little pieces of apple in my Waldorf salad.
Go ahead.
- Much of what once was is lost.
- Sepulveda.
- What? - It's an exit off the 405.
For some now live who remember it the way it really happened.
Like all terrible things, it started with small-minded people who became great.
Victory was near.
But small things can also be good, and can work against evil, like how a tiny cat hair can ruin an evil sandwich.
The great empire fell and fell some more.
And what was once evil melted away and was replaced by the love of a Choo-choo.
Soon all discovered that there was more to life than vigilance.
All but one.
War journal entry number Uh, I mean, Dear Diary, it's been two months since the fall of Doofenshmirtz, but every morning I think I'm going to wake up back in the underground.
I feel restless.
I need a challenge.
I need a mission.
I can feel myself getting softer.
Doofenshmirtz is in jail and everyone is trying to embrace their new freedom.
I alone know better.
I can feel evil still out there, getting stronger while I sit in my room, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Hey, guys! I think I stepped on a slug.
- A slug, really? - Wait a sec What do you call those things that eat nuts and live in trees? - A squirrel? - Yeah.
It was definitely a slug.
Where's your other shoe? I don't know.
I must have dropped it.
Hey, what's all this about the other shoe dropping? Buford stepped on a slug.
Okay, but be careful down there.
Call me if there's any trouble.
So, how's the "summer fun" coming along, Dr.
Baljeet? Well, since the Phineas and Ferb from the first dimension suggested we make the most of our summer, Buford and I have been experimenting with fun, - and so far - So far, I'd rather be breaking rocks for the state.
But in all fairness, I do love breaking stuff.
What about you? How have you embraced your freedom? Fortunately, we've had a little help, thanks to the coolest pet ever.
Here, boy.
Fetch! - Cool! - Any pet can fetch a stick.
- What was that noise? - It is some kind of metal door.
Here, boy, pull the chain.
Whoa! Oh, hello, boys.
I see you found my secret stash.
What is it, Dad? Well, that's what is known as "sporting goods.
" - What do you do with them? - Back in the old days before you know who, people used to use this stuff to play sports.
- Could we play sports? - Well, I don't suppose there's any reason to hide this stuff anymore.
So, yes! As they used to say, "Have a ball!" Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! We're gonna use these goods and play a game of "sports!" Nine hundred ninety-nine Good, you're home.
Monogram? Is there trouble? Do you need me? Hoo-hoo, stand down there.
We captured Doofenshmirtz.
Nothing left to resist.
And it would look foolish to just stand there, resisting nothing Well, unless you're a mime.
Then it would look totally cool If there's no trouble, why are you calling? Oh, right! As you know, after our agents were all captured and OWCA fell, your resistance partly operated out of our old headquarters.
Yeah, so? Yeah, well, um, now that we're trying to rebuild our spy network I was wondering, um, where did you put the keys? They're under the ceramic frog.
Oh, I love your three-monitor vanity.
Carl will be helping me locate our animal agents so that we can Wee-hee, I got my own monitor.
Wee-hee Carl, do you mind? Now let's see, where was I Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, if you get a chance, tell Agent P he can return to work anytime, and, uh, and if you see any other small animals, you can tell them to Carl, why don't you go over and check the ceramic frog? - Yes, sir.
- Major Monogram, do you want me to come over there and help you guys? No, no.
Doofenshmirtz is in jail.
Everything's fine.
Go to your picnic and relax.
Dress festive, be young! You've earned it.
But, Major, I'm trained to Leave the responsibility to us, young lady.
- Look, Major Monogram, I found it.
- Carl, no! That's a real frog! Oh! - Ew! - Yeah, I gotta run! You go have fun! Well, I guess it's time to dress festive.
I've got my football helmet on And an old cricket bat Volleyball net and some cycling slacks You've got a pair of Vegas skates And a billiards rack Dry suit, skort and a baseball cap We'll all have fun like mad - # With the game we don't know # - # Game that we don't know # It's one we've never played and this is how it goes Once the gong is rung the offensive team serves the pom-pom and advances down the field.
The defending cyclists race past the tackling dummies and try to get into scoring position.
If they manage to return the pom-pom into one of the scoring locations, they will be awarded a chance to chase the jumbo riding ball past the midfield skiing defender, while the other team tries to hit as many tennis balls as they can using golf clubs.
I don't know why this guy has a canoe paddle.
- # Sports, sports # - # Sports is fun # - # Sports, sports # - # In the summer sun # - # Sports, sports # - # All over town # Touchdown! Candace? Candace? Come in, Candace - Isabella? Oh, hey! - Wait a minute, are you standing sentry? What? No.
I was about to frolic down the hillside.
I'm all about this whole fun thing.
You know, you're not fooling anybody.
- Yeah? - Bo staff.
Right.
Candace, I thought you were going to take it easy.
Whatever happened to that whole Jeremy Johnson thing? We were supposed to go out, but things kept getting in the way.
I didn't have any time.
I was busy.
Doing pull-ups in your room and watching your brothers? - I like doing pull-ups.
- There's no reason you can't do that, but you have to make room in your life for other things like fun and - And Jeremy Johnson? - Something like that.
In the meantime, I'd like to introduce you to a little thing - the kids are calling "ice cream.
" - "I scream?" What is that? Some kind of weird yelling game? Nice hit, Dr.
Baljeet.
I believe that makes the score six kadooms to twelve rempars.
Eleven, if Perry can find the ball.
Perry! Come on, Ferb, we got to help him.
What the heck is that thing? Ow! Ow! Candace, you have to eat the ice-cream slowly.
- What is that? - Giant mechanical ants! My brothers are in trouble.
On your feet, kid.
It's go time.
- There's a flying one.
- I got it.
Whoa! On your right.
Oh, no! They got Perry.
Are you guys all right? We're fine.
But cyborg animals have captured Perry.
The robot ants must have been a diversion.
Monogram, we just got ambushed at the picnic.
This has Doofenshmirtz written all over it! Well, that's impossible.
He's right here in our detention facility.
I just played checkers with him.
He cheats by the way.
These giant ants didn't send themselves! Ask him about the cyborg animal agents! The what? Was one of them a panda and the other one of those shaky rat dogs? Yeah, yeah, where'd they come from? Ah, well, I didn't want to say anything before, but we kind of lost track of some of the agents when Doof took over.
How many did you lose? Carl, hand me that roster.
Let's see, including Agent P - Twenty-six, sir.
- Twenty-six! Ferb, if we can access Perry's location chip, maybe we can ambush those cyborgs and rescue Perry.
Yeah, no way! You guys are staying here where it's safe.
Candace, we can handle this.
Who was it that got past the security grid to free you from Doof's tower? Okay.
But take the Firestorm Girls.
It could get hairy.
And while you do that, I'll go find out who's behind all this.
Come on, Ferb.
Ah, Choo-choo, look! We have company! All right, Doofenshmirtz, what do you know about robotic picnic ants and a fist-full of cyborgs? Ants at a picnic? So it's a It's a rhetorical question, is it? Don't play smart with me, villain.
You're behind the attack at the park.
Now, spill it! What? You're blaming me? I've been locked up in here with Choo-choo.
Isn't that right, Choo-choo? Yes, yes, it is, see.
He'll provide an alibi.
Don't lie to me.
There's Doof-tech scattered - all over that park.
- Well, it wasn't me.
There is, however, another Doofenshmirtz.
Vanessa! I knew it! No, no, not Vanessa.
She's just in high-school.
And she doesn't show any aptitude for evil.
As a parent, I'm really disappointed.
No, I'm talking about the other, other Doofenshmirtz.
Charlene! Bom-bom-bom! And who is that? Charlene Doofenshmirtz.
She's my ex-wife.
I guess you guys have never met.
That kind of takes away the drama of the reveal.
But it's her.
Pinky? You're alive! Don't you remember me? Apparently not.
We're gonna get you out of here, Perry.
We got Perry.
Everybody fall back.
Now, this is as much fun as busting rocks for the state.
We've had Doofenshmirtz moved to this interrogation room so Candace Flynn can question him thoroughly.
Are you sure he can't see you? It's a one-way mirror.
Here, watch this.
You know, I can see you.
Oh, maybe it's just that he can't hear us.
- I can hear you, too.
- Huh! Maybe I just don't know how this one-way mirror thing works.
Coming through.
Oh, okay! Now I'm embarrassed.
All right, knock it off, glamour boy! I just haven't seen a mirror for two months.
Did my hair always look like this? Just park your caboose in that chair.
Choo-choo is not a caboose.
- It's an engine.
- Clam it, wise guy.
You know why I'm here and you better co-operate.
Because there are worse things than sitting in a cold, dank prison cell with your little Choo-choo train.
- Like what? - Like sitting in a cold, dank prison cell without your little Choo-choo train! - You wouldn't.
- Try me.
- All right.
I'll talk! - Tell me about your ex-wife Charlene.
- What do you wanna know? - Where's her hideout? Sheesh! She's got a penthouse uptown, you can't miss it.
It has Charlene written in bright lights - across the top of it.
- How do I get in? You would have to pass through the identification scrutinizer.
Only a Doofenshmirtz can get through.
Lucky for us we got one of those.
Yeah.
Oh! You mean me, right? Dr.
Baljeet, we're back and we have Perry.
That is great.
And I think I figured out how to get this giant ant going again.
- Great! So everything's going to plan? - Hey, kids! Where do you keep the silverware? What's he doing here? At ease, he's still a prisoner.
I'm just using him to get into Charlene's penthouse.
- Wow, cool restraints.
- Actually, he asked for this stuff.
The mask makes me sound all creepy.
Here, check this out.
Fava beans.
- Fava - Okay that's enough! Hey, where's Ferb? - Oh, well, I'm sure he'd just - Fava beans We don't have time to wait for him.
We got to get over to Charlene's.
Phineas, Perry, you're with me! Fava beans Charlene's no longer married to Doofenshmirtz penthouse Now, you, do what you have to do to get us in.
Okay.
Okay.
Ah! Wow, the identity scrutinizer is really thorough.
You have no idea.
Come along, people.
Uh, Mom, Tony Marzulo asked me out to the movies.
Can I go? Didn't your father banish him? Yeah, but Dad banished every boy that asked me to the movies.
- Besides, Dad's no longer in power.
- The day isn't over yet, dear.
- But, Mom - I don't know.
What do you think? - There's your answer.
- Uh, thanks? Okay, fellas, there she is.
Let's get her attention.
What the heck is going on in there? We got you now, Charlene.
Your evil days are over.
Oh, how sweet! Do come in and thank you for returning my husband.
Husband? I thought you two were divorced.
It was all a ruse, honey.
Wait, you two are pretending to be divorced? - Why would you do that? - Naive child, let me explain.
When a dictator gets deposed - # And then he's thrown into the dark # - Oy vey! His wife is thrown beside him under key and lock So to avoid a situation with such limited appeal Me and Mrs.
Doofenshmirtz, we struck a little deal We told everyone around us we had split Yes, we were through So if they came to haul me off they wouldn't get her too There's that and there's also tax advantages, of course All the convolutes reasons we pretend to be divorced We get double the amount of discount coupons in the mail We have twice the junk to offer in our annual yard sale We each have our separate bathrooms, Bedrooms, living rooms and dens We see each other all the time but through a telescopic lens We don't agree on restaurants or where to holiday But now for those activities we go our selfish ways We spend so little time together conversation's never forced All the convoluted reasons we pretend to be divorced Okay, I get it.
You're still married.
But why would you send the ants to the picnic? You had to know we'd come after you.
Of course.
And I also knew you would use Heinz to get in the building, bringing my husband back to me and getting you here, so I could get the drop on you.
- A lot of convoluted reasons there too.
- We've got another song! - No, no, no, we're good.
- And now, children, we have prepared a nice cozy prison cell for you.
All the animal agents! Wait, you haven't seen my newest one.
You villain! You turned my brother into a cyborg! Ferb-borg, relieve Candace of her weapon.
Take them to the holding cell to await cyborg reprogramming.
Oh, it's so good to have a cyborg that can actually speak.
Well, I usually only say one line per day.
One line? Really? Why? Seriously? That was it? Ah, weird kid! Well, hon, shall we re-take over the tri-state area now? Actually, I don't really want to be an evil dictator anymore.
I've got everything I need right here.
My Choo-choo, my family, this lovely penthouse, my freedom and Choo-choo! Backstory reforming.
Evil returning! I, uh I'm back, baby.
Ugh, I'm sorry I got you into this, Phineas.
- Oh, that's okay, Candace - But we're gonna have to be strong.
Jail is a mental game.
They're going to try to break us, you'll see.
Seconds become hours, hours become years, until the mere thought of freedom flutters out of our consciousness like a dying butterfly.
You're right, that did seem like forever.
Look, it's the Ferb-borg! Get behind me, Phineas.
I'll hold him off as long as I can.
Please, Candace, you're being dramatic.
What? Ferb? You're not a cyborg? Sorry, we had to fool you like that, Candace.
But we needed you to be convincing.
- But why? - Ferb figured that if Doof and Charlene thought they had the leader of the resistance and the platyborg under lock and key, they would devote all their attention to the frontal attack.
That way we could come up from behind and - Wait, what frontal attack? - That one.
That is not how to make it climb, Buford.
Oh, you want to climb the building? Hey, looks like someone's coming late to the party.
That's okay, dear.
I've got a little present for our unwelcome guest.
Wow, you know, Charlene, you're really on top of things here.
Tomorrow I'm taking you shopping for a new evil pant suit.
All right, everybody.
Go! Go! Go! Go! - So much for our ride home.
- Wow, nice shot! Attention all animal cyborgs.
Attend to our guests.
All we have to do is get these magnetic deprogramming chips near the cyborgs' frontal lobes - and they will no longer be evil.
- How do we do that? Look, we sewed them into these little hats.
Aw, that's so cute! Everyone grab a hat.
We've got cyborgs to reprogram.
Now finish him off.
Ah! Give it up, Charlene.
Seems to me you're still outnumbered.
Seriously, how did he ever run this place without me? All right, fan out.
Pinky, I just wanna Okay, so you're not a hat guy.
Take it easy.
Pinky! Good to have you back.
Surrender or there'll be big trouble.
Oh, I think I'll go with that second thing you mentioned.
End of the line, kid.
What a shame! I'll make you an offer.
I could get rid of you right now or you could join me.
You could be the leader of my cyborg army.
Actually it looks like your cyborg army may have - changed their minds.
- Wait, what are you talking about? No! My manicure! Whoa! It's all over, Charlene.
Now, surrender.
Ha! A Doofenshmirtz never surrenders.
We fight until the last man.
Hey, wait a minute! I'm the last man! - Don't I get a say in this? - Oh, come on, honey.
It'll be fun.
All right, hold it.
Everybody just stop.
Excuse me.
Can I talk to my parents? Listen, Mom, Dad, come here.
You guys, I'm only gonna say this once.
Run! - Mom, Dad, this is Tony Marzulo.
- Hey, Mr.
and Mrs.
D.
Hey, didn't I banish you? Yeah, honey, you did, but nobody saw it.
Academy graduates, Doofenshmirtz is still out there and no doubt he's planning a comeback.
But so are we.
We now have you, the animal agents of ALKA, who will, without a doubt, prevail.
So as I step down from my position as head of the resistance, I congratulate you all and wish you luck.
Whoa, wait! You're stepping down? It's okay, Major.
You've got your animal agents back.
- I think you can handle it.
- But Don't worry.
If you ever get in a pinch, you know where to find me.
Now if you'll excuse me, there's something I've been putting off that I need to take care of.
- Where is she going? - Unless I miss my guess, I'd say she's making room in her life for other things.
Fifteen.
Sixteen.
Seventeen.
- Eighteen.
Hey! - Hey, yourself.
We told everyone around us we had split Yes, we were through So if they came to haul me off they wouldn't get her too There's that and there's also tax advantages, of course All the convolutes reasons we pretend to be divorced We get double the amount of discount coupons in the mail We have twice the junk to offer in our annual yard sale We each have our separate bathrooms, Bedrooms, living rooms and dens We see each other all the time but through a telescopic lens