Robot Chicken s05e16 Episode Script

It's alive! And you are one word away from winning.
Here is your final password Okay, this is something really small.
A hobbit? No, uh it gets hot it burns things.
I know.
Smaug the Dragon.
No! Forget it.
Pass.
You shall not pass.
Yes! Pass! Pass! - You shall not pass.
Pass, dammit! You shall not pass! I'm just kidding.
I am an all-seeing wizard, and the word is 'Toaster.
' I love you all so much Grandma! Don't go! It's okay, child.
I'm gonna be with Jesus.
I'm comin', Lord.
Doink! Hey hey hey, man! What's the deal? What? Just doin' the ol' jobbarino.
She was ascending to Heaven peacefully, and you just Reaped the fuck out of her! Yeah, buddy! Dad! Why do we even need a Grim Reaper? He's not in the Bible! Yes I am.
Ah, no, there's a personification of Death in the Bible, but he sure doesn't look like some fucking cartoon character.
Well, I suppose Jesus has a point.
Gladys, what do you think? Oh, it is not my place to judge Lord Oh stop fronting, Gladys! Now, now, Gladys.
This is no time for modesty.
I kind of think dying is scary enough without a robed skeleton with a knife popping out at you.
- Thank you! Fine, I'm not sticking around if I'm not wanted.
You can't do that! - Did it.
You can't die in Heaven! Dad, tell him! Well actually, you can.
You see if you die in Heaven, you go to Superheaven.
What?!? Superheaven is awesoome!!! Whoooooo! Whoooohooooo! What happened to your baby, Precious? I ate my baby.
I ate all my babies! Babies! Where's my babies? That's pretty much Precious.
Wow, that doesn't sound Oscar-worthy at all.
That's how I felt! I guess I don't have to rent it.
Mentos! The Freshmaker! Okay.
You boys play cowboys and Indians and I'll be right back.
Okay, mom! Don't fight it, don't fight it.
Why? Yeah.
Well, c'mon, let's get him in the oven! Honey, slow down.
Slow down, please.
Nah, gotta go fast gotta go fast On the way there.
Drilling, drilling, drilling.
Oh gosh! It's coming out! It's coming out! No, don't It's coming out all over the place! Ugh and it just keeps coming out! I can't I can't stop it! - Oh dear! I went too fast! It's not stopping! Don't get it on that seagull! My name is Dora the Explorer.
And I fear this mountain will be my grave.
A snowman! I love snowmen! Is there anything you don't love, Boots? Tell her, man.
Tell her her hair looks like Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men.
This is your chance, Boots.
Don't puss out.
Nope! You pussy.
Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! B-but Dora, I'm dying! I have severe altitude sickness! See this face? Y-Yes? This is my "not giving a fuck" face.
Which way should I go? Right! Good choice! Huh? No.
I'm pretty sure you said this way.
Oh, you didn't? Well, maybe in just this one instance I could ignore your advice? Fine! Here's another choice for you.
Guess which finger.
I hope you guessed the one that means fuck you! Dora! Boots! Diego! I'm coming too! Wh what was that? Dora! Where is your safety harness? Payback's a bitch.
Help! I'm coming, Diego! I rescued some condors once! Are you here to return the favor? OW! Why didn't we learn from the Crocodile Hunter? Dora! Arrgh! I can't hang on! It's okay, Dora.
It's time for me to "Go Diego Go" To heaven! Diegoooooooooo! We did it! I'm an explorer.
Food is food.
H-H-Help m-m-me Gotcha something.
You bitch! R-R-Reaper, no r-r-reaping R-R-Reaper, no reaping Reaper Doink! Haha! Ha ha, well, Mr.
Fasolo, it looks like you've developed a kidney stone.
You shall not pass! Bruce Willis starred in The Fifth Element.
Then he starred in The Sixth Sense.
Now he's pushing the boundaries one step further.
Bruce Willis in The Seventh Vowel.
Everyone knows A,E,I,O,U, and sometimes Y.
But there's another vowel out there.
It's Ughhrt.
Ughhrt.
Uhrt.
Ughhrt.
Uhrgz.
Ug-h-hr-t.
Uuouorttt.
Yippee-ki-yay mother ughhrt! Coming this summer to a theater near Urghhrt.
Flyin' car, flyin' car love cruisin' round in my flyin' car Ughhh, Herman, you have less than a quarter tank.
I'll drive on the regular road when it's an eighth of a tank.
You will not take that risk.
There are children in this car.
Flyin' car, flyin' car bitch musta forgot who paid for this flyin' car I can hear you.
Eat, and you will be as God is, knowing good and evil.
I don't know Just do it, you pussy.
Oh, my God we're naked Yes, your nakedness is shameful! Cover yourselves! I'm sorry! We didn't know! Now you see the world as I do! Wait, you knew we were naked this whole time and didn't say anything? Well you weren't supposed to know! Yeah, we get that.
But you did know.
My dick's just swinging on out here.
Thanks for the heads up.
Let's move on! Come on, God.
We had a conversation while I was jogging yesterday.
These things must have been flying everywhere.
No wonder you were distracted.
Well I work in mysterious ways Hey God, were you checking out my girl's tits? Uhhh Get out.
Get out of the garden.
You're both banned.
Yeah, we busted him.
Yeah, you enjoy childbirth, bitch! Okay, sir, sit back, cross your arms over your chest and wait for the water I know what to do, stupid! Ow! Oh god! Why is there no water?! Ow! Who's next! Shhh! Warna Bwathas Standards and Pwactices says I'm not awowed to use a gun anymore.
That's my wivewehood.
I'll show them.
Youuuuu! Shall not! Pa Nothing funny about this.
I know your father loved you very much.