Bewitched (1964) s05e17 Episode Script

This dress is gonna be very pretty on you, Tabitha.
- It doesn't look like a dress.
- That's because it isn't finished yet.
Will it be a dress before Daddy comes home? No.
You see, first you have to cut it out and then you pin it and put it on to see if it fits.
- Then is it a dress? - Well, almost.
It takes a long time, and it's hard work.
- I know how to do it quick.
- No.
Now, Tabitha, you know Daddy doesn't want us to use witchcraft.
- Silly Mommy.
- Good grief.
- You sound just like Mother.
- Honey, I'm home.
Daddy, guess what Mommy's doing.
She's making a dress all by herself.
- She isn't even going to the store.
- I know, I know.
And it's coming along just fine.
My wife, the dressmaker.
- Sam, I'm proud of you.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
Tabitha, run along upstairs and start getting ready for bed, okay? Okay, Mommy.
- Thought I forgot, didn't you? - Forgot what? Happy sixth anniversary of our first date.
I knew you'd remember.
Darrin, it's lovely.
"Come Back to Sorrento.
" Oh, sweetheart, it's beautiful.
And we' re going to celebrate at Sorrento's tonight.
I called Marcello, and he's holding a table for us.
What a surprise.
And just in case you surprised me I asked Mother to sit with Tabitha.
On second thought, I' II send out for pizzas.
- Sweetheart, don't press your luck.
- I' II start getting ready.
- Something new from the big spender? - Oh, Mother, must you eavesdrop? Well, someone has to look after my daughter's interests.
Look at you, making Tabitha's clothes.
Samantha, you've been reduced to a slave in Durwood's sweatshop.
- Mother, please.
- Well, all right.
Obviously, you' re just too starry-eyed to realize what's happening to you.
I have everything I want.
When I think of the luxuries you've given up - Mother.
- What? You give up.
I'm going upstairs and get ready.
- Miss Miss Wilson? - Yes? I would like to see Mr.
Darrin Stephens, please.
- You have an appointment? - No, no.
People don't make appointments with crackpots.
- You' re a crackpot? - No, no, but people usually think I am.
What'd you want to see Mr.
Stephens about? Isn't he cute? I would like to talk to Mr.
Stephens about helping market the little fellow.
It's amazing.
He kind of gives you a feeling of well-being.
Well, you've heard of the Hula-Hoop, Silly Putty, the drinking bird, Frisbee and now the Fuzz.
I've got a hunch this little fella could catch on.
Oh, believe me, he will.
- Excuse me, Mr - Professor.
- Professor Mac Allister.
- Excuse me, professor.
I' II see if Mr.
Stephens can squeeze in a few moments for you.
Yes? Are you terribly busy, Mr.
Stephens? Yes, but what is it, Miss Wilson? I know it's my job to brush off all the oddballs but there's a gentleman here I think you ought to see.
You recommend this oddball? Mr.
Stephens, do I bother you very often? Okay, send him in.
Mr.
Stephens, this is Professor Mac Allister.
- How do you do? - Good of you to see me, Mr.
Stephens.
I have created a little doll.
- May I show it to you? - Of course.
- Isn't it just darling? - I call it the Fuzz.
And it Well, I don't know.
It kind of makes you feel good.
Yeah, it does.
I modestly think there's something about this that will make everybody want one.
I agree, professor.
What can I do to help? If you' II supply the creative merchandising necessary to sell them l' II supply the dolls, and we' II split 50-50.
But why me? Now, Mr.
Stephens, it's no secret along Madison Avenue that you are a very successful advertising man.
You have connections.
Possibly you could place the doll in a local department store just to see if it catches on.
How much do these dolls cost to make? Practically nothing.
That is, if it's sold for a dollar we'd each make a quarter and the store would make a quarter.
If it catches on, that could add up.
Darrin, Henderson is in my office, and Professor Mac Allister, this is Mr.
Tate.
How do you do? - What's that? - Oh, that, Mr.
Tate is a little doll I've created that'll sweep the country.
I agree the country needs sweeping, but a doll isn't going to do it.
It kind of makes you feel good.
Yeah, it does.
He's a cute little character.
Well, Lar how do you feel about McMann and Tate launching the Fuzz? The professor has offered a 50-50 deal.
Darrin, I'm too old to play with dolls.
And I have a $2 million account waiting that makes me feel a lot better than the Fuzz.
Now let's start moving the wagons.
I've got a hunch about this little fellow.
We handle the advertising for Hanley's Department Store.
Call Jim Hanley and ask him to set up a display of the Fuzz at their entrance tomorrow.
Give him the details.
Yes, Mr.
Stephens.
Could you deliver Oh, I think I'd better deliver 500, just in case.
That's what I like, an optimistic partner.
- It's been a pleasure knowing you.
- Thank you.
If you leave your telephone number with Miss Wilson we' II let you know how we do.
Hi, darling.
Hi there, sweetheart.
- Tabitha.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi.
- Oh, what's that? Sam, believe it or not, I am dabbling in the doll business.
It's cute.
There's something about it The funny nose, the long hair.
- That makes people feel good.
Here, now, hold it and see.
Well, I like it, but You don't get any message, huh? That's funny.
- Everybody at the office wanted one.
- No telling what people might like.
- Here, sweetheart.
This is for you.
- Thank you.
That's nice, Daddy.
It's one of those things that people just can't put down.
No man's a prophet in his own home.
- Yes? - Pardon, Mr.
Tate but it's important that I speak to Mr.
Stephens.
It's about the doll.
Would you people mind doing your moonlighting after office hours? - That's why they call it moonlighting.
- Sorry, Larry.
- What about the dolls, Miss Wilson? - I'm so excited I could scream.
- So could I.
- Mr.
Hanley called a few minutes ago and said they're already out of the dolls.
They sold all 500 by 11:00.
Hey, they really like that little character.
Big deal.
So you peddled 500 dolls.
The professor's rushing another 2000 over there right now.
- Wow, how about that? - Yeah, how about that? And listen to this, Mr.
Stephens.
Mr.
Hanley wants 200, 000 for their stores all over the country.
How long will it take the professor He said in a couple of days he'll have the dolls.
Sooner, if we want them.
Right.
Well, carry on, Miss Wilson and try not to let Mr.
Tate catch you using the company phone.
Two hundred thousand dolls Will you quit fooling around with those nickels and dimes? That's $5000.
Five thousand dollars? You must've made a mistake.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You've got the decimal point in the wrong place.
That's fifty thousand dollars.
Yes, you' re right! It's an oil well, a gold mine.
Fifty thousand dollars.
And you say you gave Miss Wilson 10 percent? - That's $5000.
- Yeah.
And nothing for me.
Larry, if you remember, I offered to split this deal with you.
Let's not cloud the issue with facts.
Let's get busy on this.
This is an advertising office, not a doll factory.
You wouldn't mind if I went home a little early today, would you? I'd like to do a little shopping for Sam and Tabitha.
Tell them the good news.
Darrin, I find that remark to be in very bad taste.
Sorry.
Turn around this way.
Turn around.
I don't think I've got that quite right.
Hi, Sam, Tabitha.
Well, hi, sweetheart.
You' re home early.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, darling.
Larry gave me the afternoon off.
For reasons that will become apparent, he can't look at me without breaking into tears.
Now close your eyes and pucker up.
Hey, this is fun.
Solid gold.
Real jewels on both sides.
Well, that's certainly something I wouldn't buy for myself.
Honey, don't you get it? If you want something, just whistle.
- Sometimes you baffle me.
- Try it.
Yes, right this way.
A few little presents.
Right this way.
An original Lili Arlege dress from Paris, designed especially for little girls who have rich daddies.
- I like this dress better.
Well, I'm glad someone feels that way.
Sam, the dress you' re making is great but you don't have to do that anymore.
Darrin, I love doing that kind of thing.
What's happened? Sam, those little dolls are a smash.
People are fighting to buy them.
There's something awfully strange about all this if you know what I mean.
An ermine coat, for strolling in the park.
That's what it is, all right an ermine coat, for strolling in the park.
Didn't you get her a mink playsuit to go with it? Sam, you know there's no such thing as a mink playsuit.
So I got her one in chinchilla.
Mother, I insist that you appear before me immediately.
Yes, my precious.
You called? - Mother, what've you been up to? - Isn't it obvious? I've been spearfishing with Prince Cellini in the Arctic Sea.
What a soggy bore, but he does have a fascinating igloo.
You know what I'm talking about.
Did you put a spell on a dumb little doll? Oh, my dear child, are you all right? Don't evade the issue.
Mother, Darrin's involved with some little doll Oh, my poor darling.
What's her name? Oh, never mind her name.
Get Tabitha, and let's leave.
Don't bother to pack.
Mother, really.
It's a toy doll that everyone wants to buy.
Darrin's making a fortune and it's my guess that it's your spell.
It's probably one of those affairs that keep happening to mortals.
Mother.
Are you sure you didn't put some kind of spell? - Witch's honour.
- You' re absolutely sure? Samantha, have I ever lied to you? Well? Fine.
Thank you very much.
The professor delivered 5,000 dolls to the Detroit store.
Good, good.
Would you get that, honey? What the Fuzz factory needs is a full-time doorman.
Good idea.
Make a note of that, Miss Wilson.
The professor says the additional 200,000 dolls will be on their way tomorrow.
We have to answer the call from Yakamoto Department Store regarding the Tokyo franchise.
One sunken Roman bathtub, lady.
Where do you want it? I'd hate to tell you.
This is too much.
Darrin, that thing won't fit in our bathroom.
Lady, let's not have a domestic squabble.
- This thing weighs a ton.
- Darrin.
Oh, the birdbath.
It goes in the backyard.
Watch out for the furniture.
Darrin would you take your Fuzz business to the office? I promised Larry I wouldn't work on this there.
I covered the whole house.
Nine rooms, nine colour TV sets.
Just what we need the Roller Derby in every room.
Oh, Mr.
Stephens? I wanna check tomorrow's appointments with you.
One thirty, Mr.
Merrick, about backing a Broadway musical.
Two o'clock, Mr.
Craft, about the yacht.
And 2:30, Mr.
Palmer, measure you for golf clubs.
And you mustn't forget to call Truman Capote for his guest list.
I've already done that.
It's on the way.
I'm sorry to barge in, but I wasn't able to get you on the phone.
Sorry.
I wanted to finish the Fuzz business before I came into the office.
I know it upsets you.
Don't forget the professor came to McMann and Tate not Darrin Stephens, Incorporated.
- Well, I appreciate that, Lar.
- It's Norman Gimbel.
You' II have to tell him the New York franchise is gone.
Well, I guess I'm just an easygoing, good-hearted guy so here's what I'm going to do.
This is an agreement giving you 10 percent of your accounts, in exchange for half your interest in the Fuzz which, by rights, should be mine anyway.
That sounds like a fair deal.
Well, congratulations, both of you.
Larry, welcome to the doll business and thank you for this percentage.
I loved doing it.
- I was gonna give it to you anyway.
- You were? See you at the office, you son of a gun.
- Okay.
- So long, Sam.
Stephens, how do you like the styling? Oh, that is perfect, Cosmo.
Same time tomorrow.
- Miss Wilson? - That's probably Miss Dobrin.
Sam, prepare yourself for a real surprise.
After all that's happened today nothing could surprise me.
It's the new house! - New house? - Not just a house the Bedlington estate.
Here it is, Mr.
Stephens.
It sits majestically in the centre of 80 rolling acres.
Swimming pool, tennis courts, polo fields.
It's just got everything.
Not quite everything.
Where are the his and hers heliports? Good suggestion, Sam.
We' II tear out the formal gardens and put them there.
Darrin, I don't want to move.
You know how I love this house.
Sweetheart, this was a great little place in its day, but we gotta think big.
Don't worry about selling this place, Mrs.
Stephens.
There's a great demand for these lower-priced homes.
However it's a shame there isn't something more distinctive about this house.
A sunken living room, for example.
If you' II stand right over here, I' II see what I can do.
I think I've seen enough, Mr.
Stephens.
We' II have a sign up in the morning.
Miss Wilson, would you excuse us for a minute, please? Oh, certainly.
I' II get myself a cup of coffee.
Darrin, I must talk to you.
Right now.
- Now - Okay, honey.
What's the problem? Well, problem number one is I think there's something funny about that little doll of yours and problem number two is you.
In what way am I a problem? Sweetheart, it's not like you to go off the deep end.
Well, honey, it's just that I've I've always wanted the very best for you and Tabitha.
When we were married, you made a big sacrifice for me.
No, you did.
You gave up you-know-what.
I realize I'm probably overdoing it, but this money is my chance to give you all the things you could've had.
Darrin, all the money in the world couldn't buy what we already have.
I know that, Sam.
Just let me have the joy of overdoing it for a little while.
That may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me, maybe.
And it's only the beginning.
A castle in Spain.
A château in France The Onassis island.
I wonder if that's for sale.
Miss Wilson.
Miss Wilson, we have work to do.
Oh, my stars.
Mother, I insist that you appear before me this minute or this house will be off-limits to you forever.
Really, Samantha.
I try to be attentive but you certainly can't blame me for wanting to finish my slalom.
Mother, you' re not telling me the truth.
Honestly, my darling, I was skiing.
You know what I mean.
It's about Darrin.
Well, I gave you my witch's honour.
I love Darrin, and I can tell when he's under a spell.
Now, the truth.
Is there a spell on those dolls and on Darrin? I wish you'd phrase that question a little differently.
I knew it.
I knew it! Someone else did your dirty work, right? Oh, the burdens of a mother with an ungrateful child.
- Yeah, yeah, Mother.
Get on with it.
- I' II take care of it right away.
Oh, dear.
Honey, I can say one thing for Mother.
She meant well.
I guess I should've realized.
I feel ridiculous, the way I've been acting.
Well, you acted normally, under the circumstances.
- Sam, I'm a pauper.
- Well, I wouldn't go quite that far.
But you will be a little busy the next few days returning gifts.
- Sam, what can I say? - You don't have to say anything.
- There is a bright side to all this.
- What's that? I can hardly wait to see Larry's face when he finally finds out how fast the Fuzz fad flops.
Darrin, where have you been? It's 2:00.
I had a few diamond bracelets and things to return.
- You knew it.
- Knew what? The calls started coming around noon.
Nobody wants the Fuzz anymore.
The stores are returning them.
They don't even make you feel good anymore.
- You' re right.
- The fad's faded.
The bubble's burst.
It's as if someone turned them all off at the same time.
You win some, you lose some.
And you were returning the diamonds because you knew it was going to happen.
You took advantage of my greed.
- Sam just didn't want the bracelets.
- A likely story.
- Darrin, this is despicable.
- Larry, you haven't lost anything.
I lost the millions I was going to make and 10 percent of all the accounts you handle.
You said you were going to give that to me anyway.
I just said that to make you miserable.
- Hi, honey.
I'm home.
- Hi there, sweetheart.
How about Sorrento's for dinner tonight? Who's going to sit with Tabitha? We are.
Now you wait right here and don't peek.
You promise? Okay.
All right, sweetheart.
You can come in now.
Buono appetito, Daddy.
Sam, this is just great.
And you were never better, Marcello.
And that is the prettiest dress I've ever seen.
I wonder where Mommy learned to sew.
- From her mommy.
- I doubt that.
Unless her mommy took sewing lessons from Betsy Ross.
Darrin.
How did you know?