The Rockford Files (1974) s05e19 Episode Script
A Material Difference
You got any idea how many people out there want to get rid of somebody? Well, I just let 'em know that I can do it.
(TIRES SCREECHING) I wanna know why a couple of the Lord's messengers just used a.
38 to put the fear of God in me.
I don't wanna go back without that formula.
We are men without a country.
We are wanted.
I think they're secret agents.
Church thing is just one of their covers.
One of the reasons you were hired was so that you could be eliminated after the fact.
(PHONE RINGING) ROCKFORD ON ANSWERING MACHINE: This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
(BEEPS) JOE: Jim, Joe Meyers at Crowell, Finch & Merriweather.
We're going to court tomorrow with that Penrose fraud case but the steno misplaced your 200 page deposition.
Could you come down tonight and give it again? (PROJECTOR WHIRRING) (SEAGULLS CAWING) Hey, you like bluegrass, mister? I like all kinds of music.
I don't like jazz.
I don't either.
You Jones? Take a load off.
You want a beer? Dulls the reflexes.
The name's Kramer.
Picture's in there.
And the 10 Gs? Five now, five on delivery.
You can trust me.
Man, I know I can.
Or my next job'll be for free.
You get my drift? There's an address on the back of that picture.
I'll meet you at that address as soon as I hear the job's done.
And I want that to be right away.
Yeah.
Well, you want in one hand and you spit in the other and you see which one gets full first.
Okay.
Take your time.
Do it your way.
Just don't be telling me my business, all right? Hey, hey, Angel.
MAN: Is there a Rockford here? Telephone.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
What are you doing here? Whoever I can.
(CHUCKLES) You wanna find a clean table, Liz.
I'll be right with you.
What are you, Angel, huh? A clone of Lash La Rue? It's not funny, Jimmy.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Jones, Angel, Lash La Rue.
Jimmy Rockford.
I saw a very interesting film today.
A western.
Made in Hollywood.
What was it about? Cowboy.
But it concerned the man called Kramer.
And Formula D.
I need to see it.
It will be very expensive.
A print is worth $1,000.
Why so much? Devaluation.
The dollar just took another dip.
Oh, hi.
Hi, there.
How are you today? Well, I'm kind of in a hurry.
How are you fellas doing? Oh, wonderful, wonderful, thank you.
Um, we're in the neighborhood talking to people about the future.
Yeah, well, I'm just a little preoccupied with getting through the present.
I'm Brother Leonard, this is Brother Bert.
We're with the Church of Divine Metaphysical Awareness.
A few moments of your time now could mean salvation for eternity.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to excuse me.
Well, back off now.
What is this? Now, where can we find the man called Angel? I don't know.
He moves around a lot.
Why? Never answer a question with a question, Mr.
Rockford.
Let's get in the car and go someplace where we can talk about it.
Whatever.
(TIRES SQUEALING) You just call me Mr.
Jones.
Now, you got some baksheesh? You're 1,000 short.
What, are you trying to do a number here? I don't play "owe me.
" You either pony up or you take the pipe.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Yeah? ROCKFORD: Open up, Angel.
Yeah, all right.
Wait a minute, Jimmy, I'm Be right with you.
I've got kind of a flu or I'd invite you in, Jimmy, but (COUGHING) Why don't you give me a call and we'll talk it out on the horn later, huh? We'll talk now.
Hey, what's the matter.
What are you angry at me for? What'd I do? You're not getting out of this room till you spill it, Angel, huh? I wanna know why a couple of the Lord's messengers just used a.
38 to put the fear of God in me.
Well, hey, that's your bag, isn't it, Jimmy? I mean, you always get in a mess like that.
They were looking for you and the mess is they think I'm your friend, so let's hear What in the hell is all this? Oh, it's just for show, not for go.
There ain't even no bullets in it.
I filed down the firing pin so it wouldn't go off accidentally.
What did you do, huh? Did you knock over a Girl Scout cookie drive? You know what you're gonna say when I tell you? You're gonna say, "Why didn't I think of that?" The best con is the simplest, right? I'm telling you, Jimmy, it is the sweetest scam.
You got any idea how many people out there want to get rid of somebody? Well, I just let 'em know that I can do it.
Half now, half later.
I'm telling you they eat it up.
It is so hot, Jimmy.
It's one soft stroke.
You're moonlighting as a hit man? That's what they're buying.
I just take the front money and fade away, and they gotta eat their lunch all by themselves.
What are they gonna do, call the cops? How many times have you worked this scam, Angel? Only once so far.
But the ad only came out last week.
The ad? "International Mercenary"? Well, it ain't the kind of thing you want to put in Boys' Life.
Page 55.
"Let Mr.
Jones make your bones.
" It's a blind ad.
They don't know the real me from Adam.
Pathetic suckers.
No, you're the pathetic one, Angel.
And you don't seem to have a handle on this.
You burned somebody, you welched a deal.
They've already put us together.
If they can tag me, they can find you.
So, we're taking it to the cops before somebody leans on me again.
Wait, Jimmy.
I don't wanna go talking to the cops.
You know the way their mind works.
I mean, I may have to pay some time for this.
You don't want to see me be "long" again, do you? I could care less.
You're gonna tell 'em who hired you.
Well, I don't know who it was! I mean, it was some rhinestone cowhand.
You seen one clod kicker, you seen 'em all.
Listen, Jimmy, I've been thinking about taking this thing out on the road, do you know what I mean? Putting the scam on wheels.
Go to, like, Sarasota, Gulfport, McAlester.
Just make a circuit out of the thing, you know what I mean? Then when it all blows over, I bring it back here.
ROCKFORD: Hey, who is this? Um, that's some guy from the Linotype room, passed on.
It's a keepsake.
I was quite fond of it.
What's his name? Mmm He's the guy you're supposed to hit, isn't he? Now who is he and where do we find him? That's the guy from the Linotype room.
Billy Ben Edwards.
He had a stroke while he was setting the headlines.
Who is this guy and where do we find him, huh? People don't usually just want to murder strangers.
Now, maybe this guy can put us on to the cowboy who hired you to kill him.
Well, that's coppin' out on my scam.
I'm not gonna do that.
Oh, yes, you are! Because I want to get on with my life in one piece.
So you just put on your walking shoes, Mr.
Jones, or you can take your chances with the cops.
You mean you want me to face this guy? Angel, these missionaries are somehow tied up with the cowboy you just burned.
Now, if they're willing to kill me just to get to you, can you imagine what they'd be willing to do to you? You might be right about the repercussions on this deal.
Why didn't I think of that? (DOOR RATTLING) Are you sure this is the right address? The victim's name was Kramer? What am I, blind? It was written down.
Let's try the back.
Try the back door.
I'll see if the truck is registered to his home or his business.
No luck.
Didn't the cowboy give you Kramer's home address? Uh-uh.
You know, Jimmy, I was thinking, what if this Kramer had an accident? It happens all the time, a car wreck or somebody tried to take off the store and blow him away or he gets electrocuted or eats salmonella, I don't know Yeah? Then I'd be off the hook, wouldn't I? Wrong.
It's too much of a coincidence, then we'd have to talk to the cops.
Now, what's his home address? in Tarzana.
Let's go.
Let's go! What took you so long, Officer? I must've phoned in Well, I wouldn't know about that, sir.
The call just came over.
You the one who reported gunfire? Uh-huh.
They were shotgun blasts.
Two of 'em.
Came from the cleaners.
All right, thank you.
I'll check it out.
Oh, they've gone now.
But I got a real good look at one of the men, and I even saw the getaway car.
Wrote down the license number.
Firebird.
Kind of copper colored.
Mmm-hmm.
Fancy wheels on it.
All right, sir.
Thank you very much.
You stay back now.
Cops.
Looks like our timing's off.
Yeah, just a skosh.
I don't wanna go back without that formula.
Why don't you check the police bands? See what we can pick up.
(RADIO TUNING) ANGEL: Hey, Jimmy, pull in this place up here for just a sec, okay? I gotta use the head.
Yeah, sure.
Just make it quick, huh? Oh, yeah.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) (CHUCKLES) God, lock got stuck.
I was trying to open the door.
I couldn't.
Banging away on it and nobody heard it.
Stow it, Angel, you beard's beginning to sweat.
You're holding something out on me.
I could tell in the car.
I just get the feeling that we might find out what it is back at Kramer's Cleaners, so let's start moving.
Jimmy, I can't do that.
I'm not gonna argue with you, Angel.
You don't understand, Jimmy.
He's dead.
What? His face was gone.
I almost lost my breakfast.
Well, why didn't you say so? 'Cause you would've called the cops.
I should've done that to start with instead of mucking around with you.
If I had, he'd probably still be alive right now.
Yeah, I'm not gonna take the heat for that.
I mean, what, are you gonna blame me for the morals of the world? I'm only trying to turn a buck.
We're going to the cops right now, Angel.
Jimmy, we can't go now.
How we gonna explain it now? I just walk right in there and blow the whole thing clean.
I'm not worried.
I'm just sick to death of this.
There.
Here.
No, no.
These guys'll do just as good as any.
You couldn't mean that.
You can't.
Oh, you just watch me.
(BOTH MUMBLING) Excuse me, Officer.
Yes, sir? FEMALE DISPATCHER ON RADIO: All units, all frequencies.
Update on 187, Kramer's Cleaners.
Suspect vehicle is brown Firebird, license number 853 Ocean King George.
Driver is white male, 6'2", brown on brown.
Now, could I help you, sir? Well, yes, sir, I was just looking at your front tire here.
I think it's a little low on air.
It could be dangerous.
Yeah.
Thank you, sir.
Stay away from it.
We can't be seen near it.
What's the matter? Cat get your tongue? "I'm not worried," he says.
Daddy, you folded like a cheap paper bag.
I never saw anything like it.
Put a cork in it, Angel! Big goodie two-shoes gonna be the model citizen.
What happened to Mr.
Do-Right Angel, you're driving me crazy.
Do you understand? I am going crazy, I can't take it anymore! (CHOKING) Jimmy Years and years and years, I'm going out of my mind! Your stupid, ridiculous lies and games, year after year! Jimmy, my windpipe.
Look at me, look at me, look at me! Jimmy? Just don't say anything.
Just don't say anything! Hey, Jimmy.
What? I'm sorry.
Want a stick of fruit gum? Who's this man? Martin.
Angel Martin.
That's him.
That's the hit man.
I almost missed him without the beard and dark glasses.
Hit man? I'm sorry I can't go into the specifics, but I'd like you to bring him in for questioning.
Uh, just a minute, Commander.
Naval Intelligence is imposing a little heavily on the hospitality around here, don't you think? Lieutenant Chapman said anything I needed.
Well, I also heard the word "cooperation" in there, too, and it seems to me, well Well, that we're giving a little bit more than we're getting.
I mean, you fly all the way out here from Washington and you tell us all a crime is gonna take place.
You ask for all kinds of perks and, well, we ask you for some details and you say you can't get into it.
I apologize, Lieutenant.
But certain data remains classified.
National Security.
You understand.
Could you get me some coffee? Becker? Lieutenant, I was hoping you could bring this man in for questioning.
I believe he's taken a contract to kill someone named Kramer.
Angel Martin.
This is a report on a shooting at Kramer's Dry Cleaning.
Rockford's car was ID'd leaving the scene.
Listen, if you'd like me to handle this, I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands.
I know you'd be happy to handle the press end of it anyway.
Excuse me, but Rockford, that was the other name that came up.
Came up where? I'm afraid I can't disclose that.
It's no big surprise, Commander.
They're known associates.
I'll update the APB.
(PHONE RINGING) Chapman, yeah.
WOMAN: There's a call for Lieutenant Becker on line one.
A Mr.
Rockford.
Well, thank you very much.
This must be my lucky day.
Rockford on line one.
See if you can talk him in.
I'll run a trace on the call, okay? Hello.
ROCKFORD: Dennis? I got a little problem.
Yeah, how you doing? What can I do for you? Well, it's just a hypothetical question really, but let's just suppose that a man got shot in a holdup and it came to another party's attention that somebody wanted him killed.
How would you feel about granting the witness immunity in exchange for his testimony? Well, it seems reasonable to me.
I don't know about the DA.
Why don't you come on in and we'll hash this out.
(PHONE CLICKS) That's eminently reasonable of you, Dennis.
(STATIC BUZZING) Sounds like we have a bad connection.
Yeah.
We've been having trouble on the line all day.
You nearby? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm playing ball in the fast lane of the freeway because I'm stupid.
I don't know from last week, right, Dennis? CHAPMAN: Becker! Thirty seconds, that's all I needed.
Thirty seconds.
Sorry, Doug.
I did the best I could.
Thanks.
FEMALE DISPATCHER ON RADIO: All units, all frequencies.
Update on suspects wanted for questioning are, one, Evelyn Angel Martin, no known address, two, James Rockford, 29 Cove Road, Malibu, registered owner of suspect vehicle.
Descriptions to follow.
Wait, whoa, what was that address? Something on Cove Road, Malibu.
The name was Rockford.
Let's go.
Maybe the surf's up.
Hey, Dad, thanks for picking us up.
Well, we'll see you after a while.
That's okay.
Hey, remember, this here's a loaner the truck agency let me have, so you be careful.
We'll take it easy.
Bye.
So long, sonny.
Angel.
ROCKFORD: What's that address? That's where I'm supposed to get the rest of my money.
Ain't too far from here.
Yeah? Yeah, well, five Gs is five Gs, you know what I mean, boss? The cops think I did it, maybe the cowboy will think so, too.
Just 'cause Kramer got snuffed, no reason to look a gift horse in the mouth.
I figure if I'm gonna get the credit, I might as well get paid for it.
Yeah, maybe you got something there.
Do I? Well, yeah.
Yeah, that's not a bad idea, you know.
If we can grab the guy who hired you, maybe we can deal our way out with the cops.
So, you expect to set him up? Ain't gonna take it like that.
I got enough people on my case already.
Angel, you got a short memory.
I don't think that cowboy's gonna show.
Let's go.
No, no, no.
You go over to those bins, and act like you know what you're doing.
I'll stay here out of sight.
But those bins Just go, Angel.
You kept me waiting.
Sorry.
Couldn't be helped.
I didn't want to come looking for you.
No need to.
Come on, get in.
Get in! Oh, no, Jimmy.
Come on.
Hey, it all went south.
Forget it.
All we have to do is push 'em.
He'll pick up a cop sooner or later.
Jimmy, don't push 'em no more.
Don't push 'em no more, Jimmy.
Jimmy, don't push 'em no more! (HORN HONKING) (TIRES SQUEALING) Give me that.
Five Gs.
They thought they were gonna blow me away and snatch it back.
Well, they're gonna eat it on this one.
The cops were gonna find this on your body and that'd be the end of the case.
"I see now that my whole life of violence has been a mistake.
"I repent the killing of Louis Kramer "and seek forgiveness in the eyes of the Lord.
" They are right though.
(TRUCK HORN HONKING) Your whole life has been a mistake.
Come on! DOBSON: That formula could be anyplace.
We don't even know if this Rockford's got it.
He wasted Kramer, right? So it don't hurt to look.
I found some jeans back there.
New ones? Nah.
Forget it then.
We got to find this Rockford and talk to him in person.
Hey, here's a relative.
Joseph Rockford.
Afternoon.
What can I do for you? Hey.
What is this? What's going on here? Where's your boy, pops? Hey, who are you guys, anyway? Your son mention anything about a formula? Did he stash anything around this dump? What are you talking about? Get out of my house.
Go on, get out! Check the other rooms.
When did Rocky get a new car? That's not his.
Scoot over here, Angel.
Park it up there.
Nobody knows nothing.
What time's your kid get home? Hey, I found these jeans in the bedroom.
Some of them look new.
What do you think we ought to do? Let's run 'em through the lab just in case.
Mmm-hmm.
No.
(PHONE RINGING) I want you to answer that and be real careful what you say.
If it's your son and you tip him off, you're gonna be breathing out the back of your head.
Hello.
Dad, this is Jim.
I hope you don't need the truck back right away.
I'd like to keep it for a while.
No, sonny.
I guess it's all right.
Thanks, thanks.
I'm down at the pier on a payphone and waiting for a guy and he's late.
A guy? What guy? Well, I ran into a little trouble, Dad, and Oh, wait, wait, wait a minute, Angel's waving at me.
This might be him.
Oh, see you later, Dad.
Lookit, he's down at the pier and it sounds like he's rushed.
Hey, Dad? Jim! Are you all right? I thought you was No, I was calling from the Emersons next door.
I just wanted to get these two guys out of here.
Who were they, Dad? Did they say? No, they didn't say.
But those are the kind of guys that'll do anything.
Those are the kind of guys that start out by lying to their own fathers.
Oh, you heard, huh? Yeah, I heard it on the TV news before those fellas got here.
It's murder, sonny.
Some poor, old dry cleaner out there in Reseda, and you had the nerve to ask me to borrow the truck because the fuel pump was out on your car.
The only reason you didn't want to use your car was because it's a hot car.
That's why.
Dad Dad, I'm sorry, I just wanted to keep you out of it.
Would you tell me what they wanted here? ROCKY: Probably because of him.
You hang out with the likes of him and you're gonna end up like that old movie.
Dust'll be your destiny! Get out of my refrigerator! Just a little chicken bone or something.
We've been on the road, and I'm starved.
No! Dad, what happened? Well, these two fellas come charging in here and talking about some formula or something, then they left and took my jeans.
Took your jeans? That's all they took was your jeans? Well, at 18 bucks a pair, that's nothing to sneeze at.
ROCKFORD: That doesn't make any sense.
ROCKY: Well, now I am very sorry, but that is what happened.
I tell you, you can't imagine how I felt watching them interview that Lieutenant Chapman on the TV, and him talking about you and Dennis there, nodding his head, and Chapman talking about you and about murder.
You know this herring? Would it kill you if I finished off the jar? I'm tired of feeding you.
A formula? And they took all your jeans but these? Probably the wrong size.
Then the others wouldn't be the right size either, would they? Then after the lieutenant got through raking you over the coals, here comes this Naval Intelligence officer.
All he can say is, "No comment.
" I just don't know what to think.
I don't either.
Naval Intelligence.
Guys stealing blue jeans.
These jeans that they left, they're both made by Broncbusters.
Now, why wouldn't they take them, too? I use to wear Broncbusters.
They ripped in the seat.
They said something about running those through the lab.
Police lab, maybe? Hey, Jimmy, it's coming to me now.
Now, these guys, they steal jeans, pants.
And Kramer Kramer ran a dry cleaner.
Yeah? And? That's it.
Oh, man, I'd just like to wipe this whole week off the tape.
Commander? Excuse me, Commander.
I really would have appreciated it if you had asked me before you go through Kramer's inventory.
That's departmental impound.
Now, Lieutenant Chapman said it was okay.
This particular box of things.
Where did it come from? Well, they're just things that were in the cash tray in the register.
Uh, customers' unpaid bills, business cards, reminders.
Why? I'm just trying to get things organized in my mind.
I see.
Okay.
Right.
I want to call San Diego Naval Base.
Lieutenant Petrillo.
Intelligence Branch.
Well, it sure beats me why the Navy would be interested in this thing.
There's got to be some tie-in between the formula and Kramer.
Of course, there's, uh, two guys stealing dungarees, a pair of murderous evangelists and some clown in a cowboy hat.
I can't be bothered thinking about it no more.
You haven't thought about it at all.
We gotta get back to square one.
Local chapter's in Santa Monica.
Oh, no.
Jimmy.
Now, I'm not having nothing to do with those guys.
Wrong again.
First, we're gonna drop Rocky at L.
J.
's.
Hello, I'm Brother Randolph.
May I help you? James Talbot, associate of Crowell & Finch, attorneys-at-law.
We're representing Mr.
Nash in the matter regarding the Bibles.
The Bibles? See, I told you they'd play dumb.
Please, Mr.
Nash.
Let me handle this.
Yes, we'd like to see brothers Leonard and Bert.
Since they're the ones that made the transaction, we'd like to deal with them directly in order to expedite the procedure.
I'm afraid I don't understand.
Won't you come in, please? Yes, thank you.
Now, what is it they've done? Done? They ran up a $4,500 bill, and that's just the tooling charges.
Doesn't even include the prototype run.
Now, hold on.
You lower your voice.
This is a house of worship.
You don't come in here running off at the mouth, making all sorts of loose charges.
Loose charges.
Uh, Mr.
Nash, please.
That's why I'm here.
These are not at all loose charges.
We're preparing an itemization of all charges and penalties along with a claim for damages owed Nash Printers for inconvenience Personal aggravation.
Loss of business.
Amen.
Are you saying that two of our people ordered some Bibles printed? Not "some Bibles.
" They ordered The Visible Testament.
The what? Four color prints, plastic overlay in Moroccan leather with parchment for the Psalms, and a photo supplement.
You should've seen the Song of Solomon.
Beautiful outlay.
Thumb-indexed with a concordance.
Well, I must admit it all sounds quite impressive.
You got that straight.
But our members are not authorized to make any such commitment on behalf of the church.
Well, nonetheless, we have Mr.
Nash's sworn statement along with the statement of two witnesses that they did so.
They gave this chapter as their business address.
Are you really contending that you have never received any of my telephone messages in this regard? None whatsoever.
(SCOFFING) Uh, I find this a little hard to swallow, Brother Randolph, but I think I should advise you that if this should escalate into a full-scale litigation, that your position would be somewhat untenable due to our phone records of telephone calls placed but never answered.
Well, we have had some new people on the switchboard and the place has been rather hectic with the holiday crunch and all.
But none of this makes any difference.
No material of any kind can be acquired without the approval of the Mother House in Milwaukee.
I'm afraid without such a purchase order we couldn't consider the obligation to be valid.
Well, as distasteful as it may be, I think we may have to consider the possibility of criminal charges.
It seems to indicate that there is intent to defraud.
If you're suggesting that Glory House is involved in any sort of complicity, this conversation is over.
Oh, Brother Randolph, we would like to isolate the church per se, but when we're dealing with a public hearing in a fraud case involving two of its members, the attendant publicity could result in a stigma.
I can't imagine a proceeding of this kind not having a negative effect on donations.
We would like to avoid that if at all possible.
Well, let me assure you that our main intent is to deal directly with Brother Leonard and Brother Bert.
If you could give us their address, we will take appropriate measures to notify them of our actions.
And also we'll take every possible precaution to disavow the church's liability.
Uh-uh.
Forget it.
I'm gonna give this gang a holiday crunch they'll never forget.
If you'll wait right here, um, I'll see if I can find the address.
Maybe we could come to some agreement.
Hallelujah.
Thank you, Brother Randolph.
This is weird.
This is the right address, but you'd think it'd be a house or an apartment, wouldn't you? Yeah, I sure would.
You know the dude at the Glory House probably gave us a bum steer.
Let's hit the pavement, Jimmy.
Come on.
Hold this.
(MUTTERING) Look at all this gear, Jimmy.
What do you think, they're like ham operators? Yeah.
And Russian spies.
What? Come on, Jimmy.
No, no, I'm serious.
I think that's it.
That's a cipher machine.
Now, I think they're secret agents.
Church thing is just one of their covers.
(DOOR OPENING) Well, praise the Lord.
We'll take Jones first.
Hey Hey, you're just trying to scare us, right? You figure we probably saw the movie and that we'd be so scared that we'd tell you what you wanted to know.
It worked.
What do you want to know? You don't have to hurt me.
Just start me talking and I'll tell you everything I know.
(MUFFLED CHATTERING) Now, Mr.
Jones, we've been unable to locate our formula.
We've looked in lots of places.
Places where Mr.
Kramer logically would have stored it, according to the manual.
As they say, "No soap.
" (MUFFLED SPEAKING) Now, as you must have surmised, one of the reasons you were hired was so that you could be eliminated after the fact.
This way it would appear that all the people involved were, shall we say, domestic.
(MUFFLED SPEAKING) But as it turns out, (DRILL WHIRRING) We're lucky to have you here so we can ask you some pertinent questions.
Obviously, you decided to go into business for yourself, didn't you? (MUFFLED SPEAKING) I think he's trying to tell us something.
BERT: All in good time, Mr.
Jones, all in good time.
(ANGEL MUMBLING) And how did you know that Mr.
Kramer was going to defect from the Soviet Union? Where did you learn about Formula D? Did Mr.
Kramer tell you about it just in order to save his life? (MUFFLED SPEAKING) Would you kindly remove the cotton? I didn't kill Kramer.
I didn't even know it was Kramer till I saw him.
I didn't know nothing about the formulas.
That's the truth.
Then why can't we locate the formula? I don't know! (WHIRRING) (ANGEL SCREAMING) Damn it! Circuit breaker.
See if they're in here.
I'll check the mains.
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.
Where did the other guy go? He went to the main breaker.
Come on.
Watch it.
Sure you don't want one? I don't want nothing else in my mouth tonight.
Suit yourself.
It's good stuff.
They make great tacos here, just super salsa.
Hey, we gotta try to figure this thing out, you know.
All right, now, we'll start with Kramer, huh? He's a Soviet plant.
He wants to defect, but the Russkies decide that they want to liquidate him.
But then he gets killed in the robbery at the cleaners and they somehow lose track of this Formula D.
Then the guys at Rocky's, they think that we have it because they spotted my car at the scene.
Yeah, but why did they swipe Rocky's jeans, huh? Where does Naval Intelligence fit in? The KGB.
They're worse than the cops here.
I'm telling you, they got a license to kill.
They throw people in the loony bin for not attending parades.
All right, all right.
Try this one on for size, huh? Kramer somehow gets hold of this formula.
It's something big, it's a chemical compound, mathematical equation, I don't know.
Whatever it is, it's worth a lot of bucks, huh? So he decides to sell it, just to finance his defection.
Right? But then he gets smoked before the deal goes down.
Mexico, Guatemala.
That's the thing for us now.
Now, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Suppose it wasn't Kramer who got killed, huh? Maybe that's why he got shot in the face.
Jimmy No, no, no, really.
That guy's a Russian.
He hasn't been fingerprinted in this country, so he'd be a tough ID, huh? So he goes out and he gets a wino, an illegal alien.
You know, same build, same age.
He puts him in a suit, puts him up behind the counter and blows him away.
That leaves him free to go underground and sell the formula.
Nobody knows this yet, so the agents are still sniffing around.
Jimmy, that don't mean anything to us.
We are men without a country.
We're wanted here.
Only in Mexico and Guatemala is where they're gonna be sniffing around.
You know, Russians are a hot ticket down there with the dissatisfied farmers and the ticked-off students.
These guys at Rocky's who were stealing the jeans Oh, not that again.
Come on.
That's absolutely hopeless.
so they can run 'em through a lab.
But they don't steal all the jeans.
They leave the pairs of Broncbusters 'cause they don't need 'em.
Or, no, maybe Maybe it's 'cause they already know everything about them.
Huh? Ah.
What? Mmm-hmm.
Could you direct us to the lab, please? What is the nature of your business? My name is Clifford Morrell, this is Mr.
Markowitz.
We're from the State Board of Industrial Safety, here on inspection.
Oh, well, I have to notify Dr.
Duffy first.
Well, I'm afraid that won't be possible.
Well, not since the legislature amended Title 20 of the Noise Level and High Toxins Act, February 1.
All inspections are now unannounced.
Anyone who communicates prior knowledge is guilty of misdemeanor collusion.
Mmm.
I know, I know.
It's a pain to all of us, but it's something we have to live with.
Nader, you know.
Well, it's through that door, down that hall, the first door to the left.
(CHUCKLES) I'll be doggone.
The gentlemen that were at Rocky's.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hey, the Kelvin meter.
Uh, we might as well go out and get it now as come back later and lug it in.
ROCKFORD: Almost lost 'em in that patch of fog.
Yeah, that's Kramer, all right.
You stay here and keep an eye on 'em.
I'm gonna find a phone and call the cops.
Bravo Two? The beeper we planted on the Broncbuster car shows they've turned left on Old County 14.
We're moving in on them.
No, no, don't.
You go straight down County 14, then turn left after the dry wash, Dennis.
Right.
All right, who are you and what are you doing here? I'm nobody, I was just hanging around.
(TIRES SQUEALING) All right, hold it right there! All right, drop your weapons.
I said hold it right there.
You're not goin' anywhere.
That's what you think.
(GRUNTS) Rockford, are you sure that this is where the communications gear sat? Yeah.
Actually, this disappearance works in our favor, Doug.
In dealing with the press.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
There's no proof there were any KGB agents here.
And anything as troublesome as that should never come out.
Hey, Doug, there was some guy outside of the office.
He was waiting for an appointment.
A patient.
He said the place was never too busy, but he never saw anything out of the ordinary either.
And he said that he did pretty good work.
Let me spitball a press release.
Police still have no leads concerning a shoot-out in which Louis Kramer, believed murdered earlier this week, was injured.
Kramer, who refused to talk Wait a minute, wait a minute, Bob, just a second.
Uh That makes us sound like imbeciles.
(SNICKERS) I mean, we do know some things.
Why don't you let me write the press release.
I'm considered very good at it.
I really can't let that happen, Doug.
National interests could be compromised.
All this is happening on my time, so I'd like to know exactly what Kramer was selling, huh? The way you guys are dancing around, I'd like to know my legal position, just in case this thing should get nasty.
Rockford, why don't you just shut up? You're here to answer questions, not ask them.
Yeah, all right.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll write the press release, huh? That's right, I'll walk right into the newsroom.
I'll tell them everything I saw down there.
That's right and there's nothing preventing him from doing that.
As a matter of fact I know what he can do and can't do.
What are you, in law school or something? All right, all right, come on.
Can we get on with it? The formula did come from Russia, is that correct? This is off the record? You've probably read that American jeans have been quite a hot item with Soviet youth for some time.
But they're difficult to get there and the official party line is that they represent decadent Western values.
Actually, it was an economic sanction, too much money flowing out of Russia.
I heard something about that, yeah.
Well, the Soviets put their heads to the problem and they came up with a formula for denim.
Turned out it was superior to anything known.
Wears like iron.
Apparel made from it would have an average life of six to seven years.
Yeah, but where does the Navy fit into all of this? Well, let me take a stab at that.
Dungarees.
The official Navy work uniform.
With the Soviet wear factor, we could have saved millions in tax dollars.
And when Kramer decides to defect, he wants to sell it to private enterprise.
Broncbusters.
Who now have us by the throat.
We'll have to pay their price.
We were trying to prevent that.
But who knows, we take them to court, the sale may be ruled illegal and therefore invalid.
Blue jeans? You mean I risked my life for some lousy blue jeans? I thought it would at least be for a missile component or a cover for a satellite.
You better be interested in blue jeans.
You're gonna be wearing them for at least the next six months.
I'm talking about confidence swindling, conspiracy to commit murder Jenkins, get in here! The Navy even has a film in which you appeared that the DA wants to subpoena.
Take Mr.
Jones out of here and book him.
Wait, see, actually, by deluding the man who hired me, I could be considered as having functioned in the capacity as a potential deterrent as to the execution of the crime.
Yeah, but we don't consider you that way.
Jimmy, you wanna call little Edgar, set up bond? Jimmy! The place is cleared out, but we found these in a desk.
What's that? Hey, hey, you don't suppose these came from Havana?
(TIRES SCREECHING) I wanna know why a couple of the Lord's messengers just used a.
38 to put the fear of God in me.
I don't wanna go back without that formula.
We are men without a country.
We are wanted.
I think they're secret agents.
Church thing is just one of their covers.
One of the reasons you were hired was so that you could be eliminated after the fact.
(PHONE RINGING) ROCKFORD ON ANSWERING MACHINE: This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
(BEEPS) JOE: Jim, Joe Meyers at Crowell, Finch & Merriweather.
We're going to court tomorrow with that Penrose fraud case but the steno misplaced your 200 page deposition.
Could you come down tonight and give it again? (PROJECTOR WHIRRING) (SEAGULLS CAWING) Hey, you like bluegrass, mister? I like all kinds of music.
I don't like jazz.
I don't either.
You Jones? Take a load off.
You want a beer? Dulls the reflexes.
The name's Kramer.
Picture's in there.
And the 10 Gs? Five now, five on delivery.
You can trust me.
Man, I know I can.
Or my next job'll be for free.
You get my drift? There's an address on the back of that picture.
I'll meet you at that address as soon as I hear the job's done.
And I want that to be right away.
Yeah.
Well, you want in one hand and you spit in the other and you see which one gets full first.
Okay.
Take your time.
Do it your way.
Just don't be telling me my business, all right? Hey, hey, Angel.
MAN: Is there a Rockford here? Telephone.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
What are you doing here? Whoever I can.
(CHUCKLES) You wanna find a clean table, Liz.
I'll be right with you.
What are you, Angel, huh? A clone of Lash La Rue? It's not funny, Jimmy.
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN) Jones, Angel, Lash La Rue.
Jimmy Rockford.
I saw a very interesting film today.
A western.
Made in Hollywood.
What was it about? Cowboy.
But it concerned the man called Kramer.
And Formula D.
I need to see it.
It will be very expensive.
A print is worth $1,000.
Why so much? Devaluation.
The dollar just took another dip.
Oh, hi.
Hi, there.
How are you today? Well, I'm kind of in a hurry.
How are you fellas doing? Oh, wonderful, wonderful, thank you.
Um, we're in the neighborhood talking to people about the future.
Yeah, well, I'm just a little preoccupied with getting through the present.
I'm Brother Leonard, this is Brother Bert.
We're with the Church of Divine Metaphysical Awareness.
A few moments of your time now could mean salvation for eternity.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to excuse me.
Well, back off now.
What is this? Now, where can we find the man called Angel? I don't know.
He moves around a lot.
Why? Never answer a question with a question, Mr.
Rockford.
Let's get in the car and go someplace where we can talk about it.
Whatever.
(TIRES SQUEALING) You just call me Mr.
Jones.
Now, you got some baksheesh? You're 1,000 short.
What, are you trying to do a number here? I don't play "owe me.
" You either pony up or you take the pipe.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Yeah? ROCKFORD: Open up, Angel.
Yeah, all right.
Wait a minute, Jimmy, I'm Be right with you.
I've got kind of a flu or I'd invite you in, Jimmy, but (COUGHING) Why don't you give me a call and we'll talk it out on the horn later, huh? We'll talk now.
Hey, what's the matter.
What are you angry at me for? What'd I do? You're not getting out of this room till you spill it, Angel, huh? I wanna know why a couple of the Lord's messengers just used a.
38 to put the fear of God in me.
Well, hey, that's your bag, isn't it, Jimmy? I mean, you always get in a mess like that.
They were looking for you and the mess is they think I'm your friend, so let's hear What in the hell is all this? Oh, it's just for show, not for go.
There ain't even no bullets in it.
I filed down the firing pin so it wouldn't go off accidentally.
What did you do, huh? Did you knock over a Girl Scout cookie drive? You know what you're gonna say when I tell you? You're gonna say, "Why didn't I think of that?" The best con is the simplest, right? I'm telling you, Jimmy, it is the sweetest scam.
You got any idea how many people out there want to get rid of somebody? Well, I just let 'em know that I can do it.
Half now, half later.
I'm telling you they eat it up.
It is so hot, Jimmy.
It's one soft stroke.
You're moonlighting as a hit man? That's what they're buying.
I just take the front money and fade away, and they gotta eat their lunch all by themselves.
What are they gonna do, call the cops? How many times have you worked this scam, Angel? Only once so far.
But the ad only came out last week.
The ad? "International Mercenary"? Well, it ain't the kind of thing you want to put in Boys' Life.
Page 55.
"Let Mr.
Jones make your bones.
" It's a blind ad.
They don't know the real me from Adam.
Pathetic suckers.
No, you're the pathetic one, Angel.
And you don't seem to have a handle on this.
You burned somebody, you welched a deal.
They've already put us together.
If they can tag me, they can find you.
So, we're taking it to the cops before somebody leans on me again.
Wait, Jimmy.
I don't wanna go talking to the cops.
You know the way their mind works.
I mean, I may have to pay some time for this.
You don't want to see me be "long" again, do you? I could care less.
You're gonna tell 'em who hired you.
Well, I don't know who it was! I mean, it was some rhinestone cowhand.
You seen one clod kicker, you seen 'em all.
Listen, Jimmy, I've been thinking about taking this thing out on the road, do you know what I mean? Putting the scam on wheels.
Go to, like, Sarasota, Gulfport, McAlester.
Just make a circuit out of the thing, you know what I mean? Then when it all blows over, I bring it back here.
ROCKFORD: Hey, who is this? Um, that's some guy from the Linotype room, passed on.
It's a keepsake.
I was quite fond of it.
What's his name? Mmm He's the guy you're supposed to hit, isn't he? Now who is he and where do we find him? That's the guy from the Linotype room.
Billy Ben Edwards.
He had a stroke while he was setting the headlines.
Who is this guy and where do we find him, huh? People don't usually just want to murder strangers.
Now, maybe this guy can put us on to the cowboy who hired you to kill him.
Well, that's coppin' out on my scam.
I'm not gonna do that.
Oh, yes, you are! Because I want to get on with my life in one piece.
So you just put on your walking shoes, Mr.
Jones, or you can take your chances with the cops.
You mean you want me to face this guy? Angel, these missionaries are somehow tied up with the cowboy you just burned.
Now, if they're willing to kill me just to get to you, can you imagine what they'd be willing to do to you? You might be right about the repercussions on this deal.
Why didn't I think of that? (DOOR RATTLING) Are you sure this is the right address? The victim's name was Kramer? What am I, blind? It was written down.
Let's try the back.
Try the back door.
I'll see if the truck is registered to his home or his business.
No luck.
Didn't the cowboy give you Kramer's home address? Uh-uh.
You know, Jimmy, I was thinking, what if this Kramer had an accident? It happens all the time, a car wreck or somebody tried to take off the store and blow him away or he gets electrocuted or eats salmonella, I don't know Yeah? Then I'd be off the hook, wouldn't I? Wrong.
It's too much of a coincidence, then we'd have to talk to the cops.
Now, what's his home address? in Tarzana.
Let's go.
Let's go! What took you so long, Officer? I must've phoned in Well, I wouldn't know about that, sir.
The call just came over.
You the one who reported gunfire? Uh-huh.
They were shotgun blasts.
Two of 'em.
Came from the cleaners.
All right, thank you.
I'll check it out.
Oh, they've gone now.
But I got a real good look at one of the men, and I even saw the getaway car.
Wrote down the license number.
Firebird.
Kind of copper colored.
Mmm-hmm.
Fancy wheels on it.
All right, sir.
Thank you very much.
You stay back now.
Cops.
Looks like our timing's off.
Yeah, just a skosh.
I don't wanna go back without that formula.
Why don't you check the police bands? See what we can pick up.
(RADIO TUNING) ANGEL: Hey, Jimmy, pull in this place up here for just a sec, okay? I gotta use the head.
Yeah, sure.
Just make it quick, huh? Oh, yeah.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) (CHUCKLES) God, lock got stuck.
I was trying to open the door.
I couldn't.
Banging away on it and nobody heard it.
Stow it, Angel, you beard's beginning to sweat.
You're holding something out on me.
I could tell in the car.
I just get the feeling that we might find out what it is back at Kramer's Cleaners, so let's start moving.
Jimmy, I can't do that.
I'm not gonna argue with you, Angel.
You don't understand, Jimmy.
He's dead.
What? His face was gone.
I almost lost my breakfast.
Well, why didn't you say so? 'Cause you would've called the cops.
I should've done that to start with instead of mucking around with you.
If I had, he'd probably still be alive right now.
Yeah, I'm not gonna take the heat for that.
I mean, what, are you gonna blame me for the morals of the world? I'm only trying to turn a buck.
We're going to the cops right now, Angel.
Jimmy, we can't go now.
How we gonna explain it now? I just walk right in there and blow the whole thing clean.
I'm not worried.
I'm just sick to death of this.
There.
Here.
No, no.
These guys'll do just as good as any.
You couldn't mean that.
You can't.
Oh, you just watch me.
(BOTH MUMBLING) Excuse me, Officer.
Yes, sir? FEMALE DISPATCHER ON RADIO: All units, all frequencies.
Update on 187, Kramer's Cleaners.
Suspect vehicle is brown Firebird, license number 853 Ocean King George.
Driver is white male, 6'2", brown on brown.
Now, could I help you, sir? Well, yes, sir, I was just looking at your front tire here.
I think it's a little low on air.
It could be dangerous.
Yeah.
Thank you, sir.
Stay away from it.
We can't be seen near it.
What's the matter? Cat get your tongue? "I'm not worried," he says.
Daddy, you folded like a cheap paper bag.
I never saw anything like it.
Put a cork in it, Angel! Big goodie two-shoes gonna be the model citizen.
What happened to Mr.
Do-Right Angel, you're driving me crazy.
Do you understand? I am going crazy, I can't take it anymore! (CHOKING) Jimmy Years and years and years, I'm going out of my mind! Your stupid, ridiculous lies and games, year after year! Jimmy, my windpipe.
Look at me, look at me, look at me! Jimmy? Just don't say anything.
Just don't say anything! Hey, Jimmy.
What? I'm sorry.
Want a stick of fruit gum? Who's this man? Martin.
Angel Martin.
That's him.
That's the hit man.
I almost missed him without the beard and dark glasses.
Hit man? I'm sorry I can't go into the specifics, but I'd like you to bring him in for questioning.
Uh, just a minute, Commander.
Naval Intelligence is imposing a little heavily on the hospitality around here, don't you think? Lieutenant Chapman said anything I needed.
Well, I also heard the word "cooperation" in there, too, and it seems to me, well Well, that we're giving a little bit more than we're getting.
I mean, you fly all the way out here from Washington and you tell us all a crime is gonna take place.
You ask for all kinds of perks and, well, we ask you for some details and you say you can't get into it.
I apologize, Lieutenant.
But certain data remains classified.
National Security.
You understand.
Could you get me some coffee? Becker? Lieutenant, I was hoping you could bring this man in for questioning.
I believe he's taken a contract to kill someone named Kramer.
Angel Martin.
This is a report on a shooting at Kramer's Dry Cleaning.
Rockford's car was ID'd leaving the scene.
Listen, if you'd like me to handle this, I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands.
I know you'd be happy to handle the press end of it anyway.
Excuse me, but Rockford, that was the other name that came up.
Came up where? I'm afraid I can't disclose that.
It's no big surprise, Commander.
They're known associates.
I'll update the APB.
(PHONE RINGING) Chapman, yeah.
WOMAN: There's a call for Lieutenant Becker on line one.
A Mr.
Rockford.
Well, thank you very much.
This must be my lucky day.
Rockford on line one.
See if you can talk him in.
I'll run a trace on the call, okay? Hello.
ROCKFORD: Dennis? I got a little problem.
Yeah, how you doing? What can I do for you? Well, it's just a hypothetical question really, but let's just suppose that a man got shot in a holdup and it came to another party's attention that somebody wanted him killed.
How would you feel about granting the witness immunity in exchange for his testimony? Well, it seems reasonable to me.
I don't know about the DA.
Why don't you come on in and we'll hash this out.
(PHONE CLICKS) That's eminently reasonable of you, Dennis.
(STATIC BUZZING) Sounds like we have a bad connection.
Yeah.
We've been having trouble on the line all day.
You nearby? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm playing ball in the fast lane of the freeway because I'm stupid.
I don't know from last week, right, Dennis? CHAPMAN: Becker! Thirty seconds, that's all I needed.
Thirty seconds.
Sorry, Doug.
I did the best I could.
Thanks.
FEMALE DISPATCHER ON RADIO: All units, all frequencies.
Update on suspects wanted for questioning are, one, Evelyn Angel Martin, no known address, two, James Rockford, 29 Cove Road, Malibu, registered owner of suspect vehicle.
Descriptions to follow.
Wait, whoa, what was that address? Something on Cove Road, Malibu.
The name was Rockford.
Let's go.
Maybe the surf's up.
Hey, Dad, thanks for picking us up.
Well, we'll see you after a while.
That's okay.
Hey, remember, this here's a loaner the truck agency let me have, so you be careful.
We'll take it easy.
Bye.
So long, sonny.
Angel.
ROCKFORD: What's that address? That's where I'm supposed to get the rest of my money.
Ain't too far from here.
Yeah? Yeah, well, five Gs is five Gs, you know what I mean, boss? The cops think I did it, maybe the cowboy will think so, too.
Just 'cause Kramer got snuffed, no reason to look a gift horse in the mouth.
I figure if I'm gonna get the credit, I might as well get paid for it.
Yeah, maybe you got something there.
Do I? Well, yeah.
Yeah, that's not a bad idea, you know.
If we can grab the guy who hired you, maybe we can deal our way out with the cops.
So, you expect to set him up? Ain't gonna take it like that.
I got enough people on my case already.
Angel, you got a short memory.
I don't think that cowboy's gonna show.
Let's go.
No, no, no.
You go over to those bins, and act like you know what you're doing.
I'll stay here out of sight.
But those bins Just go, Angel.
You kept me waiting.
Sorry.
Couldn't be helped.
I didn't want to come looking for you.
No need to.
Come on, get in.
Get in! Oh, no, Jimmy.
Come on.
Hey, it all went south.
Forget it.
All we have to do is push 'em.
He'll pick up a cop sooner or later.
Jimmy, don't push 'em no more.
Don't push 'em no more, Jimmy.
Jimmy, don't push 'em no more! (HORN HONKING) (TIRES SQUEALING) Give me that.
Five Gs.
They thought they were gonna blow me away and snatch it back.
Well, they're gonna eat it on this one.
The cops were gonna find this on your body and that'd be the end of the case.
"I see now that my whole life of violence has been a mistake.
"I repent the killing of Louis Kramer "and seek forgiveness in the eyes of the Lord.
" They are right though.
(TRUCK HORN HONKING) Your whole life has been a mistake.
Come on! DOBSON: That formula could be anyplace.
We don't even know if this Rockford's got it.
He wasted Kramer, right? So it don't hurt to look.
I found some jeans back there.
New ones? Nah.
Forget it then.
We got to find this Rockford and talk to him in person.
Hey, here's a relative.
Joseph Rockford.
Afternoon.
What can I do for you? Hey.
What is this? What's going on here? Where's your boy, pops? Hey, who are you guys, anyway? Your son mention anything about a formula? Did he stash anything around this dump? What are you talking about? Get out of my house.
Go on, get out! Check the other rooms.
When did Rocky get a new car? That's not his.
Scoot over here, Angel.
Park it up there.
Nobody knows nothing.
What time's your kid get home? Hey, I found these jeans in the bedroom.
Some of them look new.
What do you think we ought to do? Let's run 'em through the lab just in case.
Mmm-hmm.
No.
(PHONE RINGING) I want you to answer that and be real careful what you say.
If it's your son and you tip him off, you're gonna be breathing out the back of your head.
Hello.
Dad, this is Jim.
I hope you don't need the truck back right away.
I'd like to keep it for a while.
No, sonny.
I guess it's all right.
Thanks, thanks.
I'm down at the pier on a payphone and waiting for a guy and he's late.
A guy? What guy? Well, I ran into a little trouble, Dad, and Oh, wait, wait, wait a minute, Angel's waving at me.
This might be him.
Oh, see you later, Dad.
Lookit, he's down at the pier and it sounds like he's rushed.
Hey, Dad? Jim! Are you all right? I thought you was No, I was calling from the Emersons next door.
I just wanted to get these two guys out of here.
Who were they, Dad? Did they say? No, they didn't say.
But those are the kind of guys that'll do anything.
Those are the kind of guys that start out by lying to their own fathers.
Oh, you heard, huh? Yeah, I heard it on the TV news before those fellas got here.
It's murder, sonny.
Some poor, old dry cleaner out there in Reseda, and you had the nerve to ask me to borrow the truck because the fuel pump was out on your car.
The only reason you didn't want to use your car was because it's a hot car.
That's why.
Dad Dad, I'm sorry, I just wanted to keep you out of it.
Would you tell me what they wanted here? ROCKY: Probably because of him.
You hang out with the likes of him and you're gonna end up like that old movie.
Dust'll be your destiny! Get out of my refrigerator! Just a little chicken bone or something.
We've been on the road, and I'm starved.
No! Dad, what happened? Well, these two fellas come charging in here and talking about some formula or something, then they left and took my jeans.
Took your jeans? That's all they took was your jeans? Well, at 18 bucks a pair, that's nothing to sneeze at.
ROCKFORD: That doesn't make any sense.
ROCKY: Well, now I am very sorry, but that is what happened.
I tell you, you can't imagine how I felt watching them interview that Lieutenant Chapman on the TV, and him talking about you and Dennis there, nodding his head, and Chapman talking about you and about murder.
You know this herring? Would it kill you if I finished off the jar? I'm tired of feeding you.
A formula? And they took all your jeans but these? Probably the wrong size.
Then the others wouldn't be the right size either, would they? Then after the lieutenant got through raking you over the coals, here comes this Naval Intelligence officer.
All he can say is, "No comment.
" I just don't know what to think.
I don't either.
Naval Intelligence.
Guys stealing blue jeans.
These jeans that they left, they're both made by Broncbusters.
Now, why wouldn't they take them, too? I use to wear Broncbusters.
They ripped in the seat.
They said something about running those through the lab.
Police lab, maybe? Hey, Jimmy, it's coming to me now.
Now, these guys, they steal jeans, pants.
And Kramer Kramer ran a dry cleaner.
Yeah? And? That's it.
Oh, man, I'd just like to wipe this whole week off the tape.
Commander? Excuse me, Commander.
I really would have appreciated it if you had asked me before you go through Kramer's inventory.
That's departmental impound.
Now, Lieutenant Chapman said it was okay.
This particular box of things.
Where did it come from? Well, they're just things that were in the cash tray in the register.
Uh, customers' unpaid bills, business cards, reminders.
Why? I'm just trying to get things organized in my mind.
I see.
Okay.
Right.
I want to call San Diego Naval Base.
Lieutenant Petrillo.
Intelligence Branch.
Well, it sure beats me why the Navy would be interested in this thing.
There's got to be some tie-in between the formula and Kramer.
Of course, there's, uh, two guys stealing dungarees, a pair of murderous evangelists and some clown in a cowboy hat.
I can't be bothered thinking about it no more.
You haven't thought about it at all.
We gotta get back to square one.
Local chapter's in Santa Monica.
Oh, no.
Jimmy.
Now, I'm not having nothing to do with those guys.
Wrong again.
First, we're gonna drop Rocky at L.
J.
's.
Hello, I'm Brother Randolph.
May I help you? James Talbot, associate of Crowell & Finch, attorneys-at-law.
We're representing Mr.
Nash in the matter regarding the Bibles.
The Bibles? See, I told you they'd play dumb.
Please, Mr.
Nash.
Let me handle this.
Yes, we'd like to see brothers Leonard and Bert.
Since they're the ones that made the transaction, we'd like to deal with them directly in order to expedite the procedure.
I'm afraid I don't understand.
Won't you come in, please? Yes, thank you.
Now, what is it they've done? Done? They ran up a $4,500 bill, and that's just the tooling charges.
Doesn't even include the prototype run.
Now, hold on.
You lower your voice.
This is a house of worship.
You don't come in here running off at the mouth, making all sorts of loose charges.
Loose charges.
Uh, Mr.
Nash, please.
That's why I'm here.
These are not at all loose charges.
We're preparing an itemization of all charges and penalties along with a claim for damages owed Nash Printers for inconvenience Personal aggravation.
Loss of business.
Amen.
Are you saying that two of our people ordered some Bibles printed? Not "some Bibles.
" They ordered The Visible Testament.
The what? Four color prints, plastic overlay in Moroccan leather with parchment for the Psalms, and a photo supplement.
You should've seen the Song of Solomon.
Beautiful outlay.
Thumb-indexed with a concordance.
Well, I must admit it all sounds quite impressive.
You got that straight.
But our members are not authorized to make any such commitment on behalf of the church.
Well, nonetheless, we have Mr.
Nash's sworn statement along with the statement of two witnesses that they did so.
They gave this chapter as their business address.
Are you really contending that you have never received any of my telephone messages in this regard? None whatsoever.
(SCOFFING) Uh, I find this a little hard to swallow, Brother Randolph, but I think I should advise you that if this should escalate into a full-scale litigation, that your position would be somewhat untenable due to our phone records of telephone calls placed but never answered.
Well, we have had some new people on the switchboard and the place has been rather hectic with the holiday crunch and all.
But none of this makes any difference.
No material of any kind can be acquired without the approval of the Mother House in Milwaukee.
I'm afraid without such a purchase order we couldn't consider the obligation to be valid.
Well, as distasteful as it may be, I think we may have to consider the possibility of criminal charges.
It seems to indicate that there is intent to defraud.
If you're suggesting that Glory House is involved in any sort of complicity, this conversation is over.
Oh, Brother Randolph, we would like to isolate the church per se, but when we're dealing with a public hearing in a fraud case involving two of its members, the attendant publicity could result in a stigma.
I can't imagine a proceeding of this kind not having a negative effect on donations.
We would like to avoid that if at all possible.
Well, let me assure you that our main intent is to deal directly with Brother Leonard and Brother Bert.
If you could give us their address, we will take appropriate measures to notify them of our actions.
And also we'll take every possible precaution to disavow the church's liability.
Uh-uh.
Forget it.
I'm gonna give this gang a holiday crunch they'll never forget.
If you'll wait right here, um, I'll see if I can find the address.
Maybe we could come to some agreement.
Hallelujah.
Thank you, Brother Randolph.
This is weird.
This is the right address, but you'd think it'd be a house or an apartment, wouldn't you? Yeah, I sure would.
You know the dude at the Glory House probably gave us a bum steer.
Let's hit the pavement, Jimmy.
Come on.
Hold this.
(MUTTERING) Look at all this gear, Jimmy.
What do you think, they're like ham operators? Yeah.
And Russian spies.
What? Come on, Jimmy.
No, no, I'm serious.
I think that's it.
That's a cipher machine.
Now, I think they're secret agents.
Church thing is just one of their covers.
(DOOR OPENING) Well, praise the Lord.
We'll take Jones first.
Hey Hey, you're just trying to scare us, right? You figure we probably saw the movie and that we'd be so scared that we'd tell you what you wanted to know.
It worked.
What do you want to know? You don't have to hurt me.
Just start me talking and I'll tell you everything I know.
(MUFFLED CHATTERING) Now, Mr.
Jones, we've been unable to locate our formula.
We've looked in lots of places.
Places where Mr.
Kramer logically would have stored it, according to the manual.
As they say, "No soap.
" (MUFFLED SPEAKING) Now, as you must have surmised, one of the reasons you were hired was so that you could be eliminated after the fact.
This way it would appear that all the people involved were, shall we say, domestic.
(MUFFLED SPEAKING) But as it turns out, (DRILL WHIRRING) We're lucky to have you here so we can ask you some pertinent questions.
Obviously, you decided to go into business for yourself, didn't you? (MUFFLED SPEAKING) I think he's trying to tell us something.
BERT: All in good time, Mr.
Jones, all in good time.
(ANGEL MUMBLING) And how did you know that Mr.
Kramer was going to defect from the Soviet Union? Where did you learn about Formula D? Did Mr.
Kramer tell you about it just in order to save his life? (MUFFLED SPEAKING) Would you kindly remove the cotton? I didn't kill Kramer.
I didn't even know it was Kramer till I saw him.
I didn't know nothing about the formulas.
That's the truth.
Then why can't we locate the formula? I don't know! (WHIRRING) (ANGEL SCREAMING) Damn it! Circuit breaker.
See if they're in here.
I'll check the mains.
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.
Where did the other guy go? He went to the main breaker.
Come on.
Watch it.
Sure you don't want one? I don't want nothing else in my mouth tonight.
Suit yourself.
It's good stuff.
They make great tacos here, just super salsa.
Hey, we gotta try to figure this thing out, you know.
All right, now, we'll start with Kramer, huh? He's a Soviet plant.
He wants to defect, but the Russkies decide that they want to liquidate him.
But then he gets killed in the robbery at the cleaners and they somehow lose track of this Formula D.
Then the guys at Rocky's, they think that we have it because they spotted my car at the scene.
Yeah, but why did they swipe Rocky's jeans, huh? Where does Naval Intelligence fit in? The KGB.
They're worse than the cops here.
I'm telling you, they got a license to kill.
They throw people in the loony bin for not attending parades.
All right, all right.
Try this one on for size, huh? Kramer somehow gets hold of this formula.
It's something big, it's a chemical compound, mathematical equation, I don't know.
Whatever it is, it's worth a lot of bucks, huh? So he decides to sell it, just to finance his defection.
Right? But then he gets smoked before the deal goes down.
Mexico, Guatemala.
That's the thing for us now.
Now, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Suppose it wasn't Kramer who got killed, huh? Maybe that's why he got shot in the face.
Jimmy No, no, no, really.
That guy's a Russian.
He hasn't been fingerprinted in this country, so he'd be a tough ID, huh? So he goes out and he gets a wino, an illegal alien.
You know, same build, same age.
He puts him in a suit, puts him up behind the counter and blows him away.
That leaves him free to go underground and sell the formula.
Nobody knows this yet, so the agents are still sniffing around.
Jimmy, that don't mean anything to us.
We are men without a country.
We're wanted here.
Only in Mexico and Guatemala is where they're gonna be sniffing around.
You know, Russians are a hot ticket down there with the dissatisfied farmers and the ticked-off students.
These guys at Rocky's who were stealing the jeans Oh, not that again.
Come on.
That's absolutely hopeless.
so they can run 'em through a lab.
But they don't steal all the jeans.
They leave the pairs of Broncbusters 'cause they don't need 'em.
Or, no, maybe Maybe it's 'cause they already know everything about them.
Huh? Ah.
What? Mmm-hmm.
Could you direct us to the lab, please? What is the nature of your business? My name is Clifford Morrell, this is Mr.
Markowitz.
We're from the State Board of Industrial Safety, here on inspection.
Oh, well, I have to notify Dr.
Duffy first.
Well, I'm afraid that won't be possible.
Well, not since the legislature amended Title 20 of the Noise Level and High Toxins Act, February 1.
All inspections are now unannounced.
Anyone who communicates prior knowledge is guilty of misdemeanor collusion.
Mmm.
I know, I know.
It's a pain to all of us, but it's something we have to live with.
Nader, you know.
Well, it's through that door, down that hall, the first door to the left.
(CHUCKLES) I'll be doggone.
The gentlemen that were at Rocky's.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hey, the Kelvin meter.
Uh, we might as well go out and get it now as come back later and lug it in.
ROCKFORD: Almost lost 'em in that patch of fog.
Yeah, that's Kramer, all right.
You stay here and keep an eye on 'em.
I'm gonna find a phone and call the cops.
Bravo Two? The beeper we planted on the Broncbuster car shows they've turned left on Old County 14.
We're moving in on them.
No, no, don't.
You go straight down County 14, then turn left after the dry wash, Dennis.
Right.
All right, who are you and what are you doing here? I'm nobody, I was just hanging around.
(TIRES SQUEALING) All right, hold it right there! All right, drop your weapons.
I said hold it right there.
You're not goin' anywhere.
That's what you think.
(GRUNTS) Rockford, are you sure that this is where the communications gear sat? Yeah.
Actually, this disappearance works in our favor, Doug.
In dealing with the press.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
There's no proof there were any KGB agents here.
And anything as troublesome as that should never come out.
Hey, Doug, there was some guy outside of the office.
He was waiting for an appointment.
A patient.
He said the place was never too busy, but he never saw anything out of the ordinary either.
And he said that he did pretty good work.
Let me spitball a press release.
Police still have no leads concerning a shoot-out in which Louis Kramer, believed murdered earlier this week, was injured.
Kramer, who refused to talk Wait a minute, wait a minute, Bob, just a second.
Uh That makes us sound like imbeciles.
(SNICKERS) I mean, we do know some things.
Why don't you let me write the press release.
I'm considered very good at it.
I really can't let that happen, Doug.
National interests could be compromised.
All this is happening on my time, so I'd like to know exactly what Kramer was selling, huh? The way you guys are dancing around, I'd like to know my legal position, just in case this thing should get nasty.
Rockford, why don't you just shut up? You're here to answer questions, not ask them.
Yeah, all right.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll write the press release, huh? That's right, I'll walk right into the newsroom.
I'll tell them everything I saw down there.
That's right and there's nothing preventing him from doing that.
As a matter of fact I know what he can do and can't do.
What are you, in law school or something? All right, all right, come on.
Can we get on with it? The formula did come from Russia, is that correct? This is off the record? You've probably read that American jeans have been quite a hot item with Soviet youth for some time.
But they're difficult to get there and the official party line is that they represent decadent Western values.
Actually, it was an economic sanction, too much money flowing out of Russia.
I heard something about that, yeah.
Well, the Soviets put their heads to the problem and they came up with a formula for denim.
Turned out it was superior to anything known.
Wears like iron.
Apparel made from it would have an average life of six to seven years.
Yeah, but where does the Navy fit into all of this? Well, let me take a stab at that.
Dungarees.
The official Navy work uniform.
With the Soviet wear factor, we could have saved millions in tax dollars.
And when Kramer decides to defect, he wants to sell it to private enterprise.
Broncbusters.
Who now have us by the throat.
We'll have to pay their price.
We were trying to prevent that.
But who knows, we take them to court, the sale may be ruled illegal and therefore invalid.
Blue jeans? You mean I risked my life for some lousy blue jeans? I thought it would at least be for a missile component or a cover for a satellite.
You better be interested in blue jeans.
You're gonna be wearing them for at least the next six months.
I'm talking about confidence swindling, conspiracy to commit murder Jenkins, get in here! The Navy even has a film in which you appeared that the DA wants to subpoena.
Take Mr.
Jones out of here and book him.
Wait, see, actually, by deluding the man who hired me, I could be considered as having functioned in the capacity as a potential deterrent as to the execution of the crime.
Yeah, but we don't consider you that way.
Jimmy, you wanna call little Edgar, set up bond? Jimmy! The place is cleared out, but we found these in a desk.
What's that? Hey, hey, you don't suppose these came from Havana?