Xena: Warrior Princess s05e19 Episode Script

The usual? Mm-hmm.
And sold! For 30 dinars! Hey, Ramius, what's the next item up for bid? [ Bell Dings .]
- You can't be serious.
- Ah, but this isn't just any scroll.
Ahh! No, my friends.
I have in my hand the last known scroll transcribed by the Bard of Poteidaia herself! It describes, in breathtaking detail, the final adventure of Xena, the legendary Warrior Princess whodaredto defy the gods! This is Gabrielle's handwriting.
This is real! Ah, sure it is! The Bard of Poteidaia.
You know, I-- I knew her.
You know, she was a friend of mine.
[ Sarcastic Chuckle .]
Xena was my friend too.
Xena was my housemaid.
Well, friend, we had best cut you off.
- What say I start the bidding at-- - 10 dinars! Twenty dinars! Twenty-five! Cover your tab! You should talk, Joxer, you deadbeat! - Thirty! -Thirty-five dinars! Sixty-five dinars! Sold! Sixty-five dinars! [ Meg .]
Wait a minute! You spentmynest egg on one lousy piece of parchment? Please, Meg, it's Gabrielle's last scroll.
Maybe it explains what she and Xena were doing.
[ Meg .]
What do you care? Xena and Gabrielle are gone! When are you gonna accept that? Okay, that was a little too fast.
Is that a story about the Harpies, Daddy? What is it? What is it? No, it's, uh-- Well, it's a story about a beautiful warrior princess.
You want to hear a story about a beautiful warrior princess? Okay.
Okay.
[ Clears Throat, Exhales .]
"Her, uh-- Her celebrations "at Thebes in Egypt were cut short "because Xena, the mighty Warrior Princess, "fought both night and day "for the life of her newborn child "as she continued to sing the rage "of her Olympian foes.
"Their ceaseless battles finally drove her to the Fates in search of answers.
" I hope you don't mind.
We were in the neighborhood.
The Fates always welcome you here, Xena.
We're pleasantly surprised.
Finding your kid topping the list of Olympus's most wanted makes you do some pretty surprising things.
This is one of them.
You wish us to speak of your child.
- Your child, Xena-- - Will bring forth the Twilight and usher in a new beginning.
Yes, I heard.
I was hoping you could humor me with a date.
The Twilight will occur in time.
That's not very specific.
- The time depends on you, Xena.
- What do you mean? It's me that determines when the Twilight begins? How? You must die, Xena.
Only in the essence of death will the child find salvation and the Twilight be set in motion.
Until then, a storm without end lies upon your path and hers.
You're saying that the sooner Xena dies, the faster Eve brings about the fall of the gods? No! Xena, let's go.
Hey! What are you doing? You're not listening to them? Xena, you have said we always determine our own fate.
It's not written for us.
You've always believed that.
I still believe that, Gabrielle.
So do they.
It's the only way.
I have to die, Gabrielle.
[ Man Narrating .]
In a time of ancient gods-- [ Xena Yells .]
warlords and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
She was Xena, a mighty princess forged in the heat of battle.
The power.
The passion.
-The danger.
- [ Kiaiing .]
Her courage will change the world.
[ Eve Crying .]
[ Crying Continues .]
Shh.
Quiet, now.
- [ Kiaiing .]
-[ Man Groans .]
The helmet of invisibility.
Hades.
[ Kiaiing .]
You're not really a hat kind of guy.
Well, Athena, you can call off your search.
We found Hades for you.
Thank you, Xena, but I think you know who we're really here for.
I have to give you credit, Xena.
You three are hard ones to catch up to for mortals.
That's the beauty of being insignificant.
Hand her over.
I promise you-- she won't feel a thing.
There's no escape this time, Xena.
- We'll see about that.
- [ Groaning .]
Xena! Toss Eve here! No, Gabrielle! What's wrong, Xena? No longer trust even Gabrielle to protect your child? [ Shouting, Groaning .]
Any ideas? Yeah.
Let's give them their hat back.
Go, Gabrielle.
Let's go.
[ Man .]
Camp ready in five minutes, sir! [ Joxer Narrating .]
"After narrowly escaping with our lives, "we took shelter for the night in the company of Octavius, "the new leader of the Roman army and a new ally unknown to the gods.
" Can I get you two anything else? No, Octavius.
Thank you.
You never have to thank me, Xena.
I owe my life to you and Gabrielle.
All right.
Come here.
Ow! Ow.
What is that? It's poison.
Only if you drink it.
A little dab'll stop the spread of infection.
Where did you get that? Mom's medicine cabinet.
[ Gasps .]
Xena, what Athena said about, um, your not trusting me with Eve-- Hey.
It's not a matter of trust where Athena's concerned.
Giving Eve to you would have bought her a few more seconds, but we both know they would have killed her if they could have-- regardless of whose arms she was in.
We got lucky.
She's just a baby.
Xena never dies.
And why is that? Just get her in my chains, Athena.
Then we'll see how long she lives.
Thank you, Hephaestus.
Your youthful exuberance is greatly appreciated.
If you ask me, sis-- and you haven't-- I can think of no better expert to pose your query to than Death herself.
[ Athena .]
Celesta.
We're doing everything we can to ensure our survival, but we can't finish the job until you pay a visit to Xena and her child.
I'm sorry, Athena, Ares, and my beloved brother, Hades, but you know it's not in Death's nature to discriminate.
Even when your own life is on the line? As long as my flame continues to burn, death will remain a part of life for eternity, Athena.
Meaning you might somehow be immune to the prophecy.
If I didn't know better, I'd say Death's getting a little cocky.
Prophecy or not, it is forbidden for any mortal to be taken before their rightful time.
Celesta! We know you can't help but care for the mortals you interact with so personally, but just remember-- you can't deny them their rightful time either.
[ Metal Clanging .]
So if you're the God of Arts and Crafts, what do you do for a hobby? Help my family kill your child by first killing you, Xena.
No, that's a perversion, not a hobby.
[ Shouting .]
How does it feel, Xena? How does it feel to finally be in the presence of Death herself? What took you so long? Xena! His chains! I'm sorry, Celesta.
I'm gonna have to ask you to stay.
The chains of Hephaestus hold even the gods.
[ Shouting .]
That was close.
- Xena, what are you doing? - Check her hands.
It worked.
She can't touch us.
Good.
Your confrontation with Hephaestus-- that's exactly what you wanted, how you lured me to you.
Believe me, lady, if there was a better way for us to hook up, I'd have done it.
Xena, how could you? Gabrielle, get her outta here.
Celesta's secured.
Good.
Hey, sweetheart.
Octavius, thanks for babysitting.
Anytime.
You're a good friend.
We'll be seeing ya.
Come on.
First, there was Eli.
The masses adored him and the message he conveyed.
You killed him.
Again with the Eli.
He had to die, sis.
How many times do I have-- His death sparked the uprising against us that Xena capitalized on at Amphipolis-- whereyouchose to fight at her side, I might add.
What's left to come? Athena, Xena took Celesta.
Well, I guess you got your answer.
d dd Hush now, my little one d dd dd Please don't you cry dddd [ Humming .]
One day, you'll have your own horse.
Xena, you should know that my brother and Athena and all Olympus will stop at nothing to find me.
Then they'd better hurry up.
Because if I'm not mistaken, Celesta, when this candle burns out, you die.
Imagine that-- the death of Death herself-- and me and my kid will live forever.
Xena, this isn't like you.
Or you, Gabrielle.
At one time, you both fought to free me.
You're right.
Somehow, motherhood has made me harder.
Even giving birth to a child isn't enough to sway someone so grounded in their beliefs.
And how's that? By holding me here, you're condemning to eternal suffering those who would otherwise find their peace.
Lady, since we last met, I've decided you cause a lot more suffering than you end.
Death is nothing to fear, Xena, for I only visit those whose rightful time-- Rightful time? Who decides when it's the rightful time? You are at the beck and call of every warlord and murderer.
Solan-- my only son-- his rightful time came when someone else decided it should.
And you came running, no questions asked.
You didn't end the suffering of my little boy, Celesta.
You stole his life.
And Marcus.
And Lyceus.
Your brother.
Xena-- Lyceus-- Lyceus-- He wasn't just a brother.
He was my best friend.
You know, growing up, he was everything to me.
He accepted me for who and what I was.
And if you hadn't taken him, he would have grown up to be something-- Xena, don't do this.
What? She's immortal.
She'll never understand the pain of losing someone.
[ Sniffles .]
Yes, she will.
Yes, she will-- 'cause you have a brother too.
Yes.
Hades.
He's my only family, the first to accept me for who and what I am.
I may not agree with his recent actions, Xena, but I believe he thinks he's doing what is right.
He's always been true to his convictions, and sometimes that makes him a little stubborn, but I believe it is his noblest quality.
To lose him is unthinkable.
And what if he lost you? What would he say about that? I may never know.
Death can end suffering, Celesta, but the suffering just begins for those left behind.
I won't allow it any longer.
I can't lose what's left of my family, and I won't lose another child.
[ Gabrielle .]
You know, she's right about one thing, Xena-- The gods will stop at nothing.
Holding Celesta prevents them from killing anyone, but they'll inflict pain, suffering-- Starting with the one most vulnerable.
[ Woman .]
Bartender! Another one! Hey! Gabby! Hi! Hey, listen, they have the best ale in this place.
It's like, bubbly, and-- No, we've got to-- Joxer, I presume.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's, uh, spelled with an "X.
" -The "X" is for, uh, extra super sexy.
- Joxer.
These people-- Not now! Athena thanks you for being Xena and Gabrielle's most high-profile acquaintance.
Oh, well, uh, I'm very high-profile all around town.
Mr.
Get-around-town, they call me, actually, in certain circles.
Oh, hello, girls.
Let him go.
So, looks like Xena couldn't leave Death in your hands either.
Look.
The baby can't do anything-- [ Gasps .]
Where is my sister? Hades, Gabrielle is no use to us dead.
We can't kill the child until Celesta's free.
And given our time constraint, diplomacy is the best way of accomplishing that.
But then again-- - Where is she? - Don't tell her anything, Gabrielle.
Anything Goldy-pants here can dish out, I can take.
[ Choking .]
Okay, tell her.
Tell her.
She's headed to the ocean.
Mm-hmm.
Details to follow, I'm sure.
Joxer! Gabby? [ People Gasping .]
[ Body Thuds .]
Athena.
We were just going on a joyride to celebrate being immortal.
[ Gasping .]
Oh, Celesta-- Well, it's too late for her, I'm afraid.
I hope that's not true, Xena-- for Gabrielle's sake.
What have you done with her? Xena, I'm sorry.
I had no choice.
[ Athena .]
It's very simple, Xena-- Gabrielle for Celesta.
Let the candle burn, Xena.
Do that, Xena, and your little girl will still be hunted for eternity.
She may never know death, but I promise you, she will never know peace.
- All right.
- No, Xena.
Gabrielle, come on.
It's all right.
All right.
I'll be needing you, Celesta.
My presence is required elsewhere, Athena.
Come on.
Give us a head start.
- I don't think that's too much to ask, do you, sis? - I think it is.
[ Kiaiing .]
Hyah! You know what to do.
Let them clear the forest first.
Then drive them to us.
The ocean.
Xena's headed towards the ocean.
Hyah! What? It's time to fess up, Xena.
They're relentless.
They're gonna keep coming and coming, and I think you know it.
So what you need is you need me, and you need me now.
I'm the only one that can make this go away.
Hyah! Why are you always asking for something you are never going to get? Get off! Hyah! Oh, gee.
I guess this is my exit.
Hyah! All right, Gabrielle! We're on! [ Kiaiing .]
What happened, Daddy? Uh-- Well, it's the end of the scroll, Pumpkin, but it's not the end of the story.
How do you know? 'Cause I was there.
[ Mouthing Words .]
On! Gabrielle! Whoa! Gabrielle! Aah! It ends now.
Gabrielle.
Gabrielle.
Gabrielle? Eve? Eve? Eve? Eve? Eve? [ Gasps .]
The prophecy has been shattered.
No! - Oh, no.
- Gabrielle.
Gabrielle? [ Voice Quavering .]
Gabrielle? Oh, gods.
[ Sobbing .]
Each to his own.
You to yours and me to mine! Yaah! No! No, Xena.
Don't.
Ares, you can't stop me this time.
No.
It's over.
It's over.
Join your family.
Tell them it's a package deal.
They get me too.
[ Octavius .]
Unbelievable.
Where are they? Joxer, good to see you again.
Where's Xena and Gabrielle? Octavius, they're gone.
I saw the whole thing, but I was too far away.
- I couldn't help them.
- Joxer, they're not dead.
What? What? [ Eve Crying .]
Eve! It can't be.
Eve? Dad, how was Eve alive? Okay, okay.
Remember back.
What did the Fates tell Xena? - That she had to die to save Eve? - That's right.
But remember, you can't take what the Fates say literally.
- They said, "Only--" - Only in the essence of death will the child find salvation and the Twilight be set in motion.
"The essence of death.
" The tears, Joxer-- Did you see her drink the tears? She drank poison, Octavius.
But it wasn't poison.
[ Joxer Narrating .]
But it wasn't poison.
You see, Xena never intended to kill Death at all.
It was Celesta's tears she really needed-- the essence of death-- the only thing, Xena realized, that could simulate the appearance of their deaths to the gods-- - Eve? - but only after convincing the gods that Eve had also been killed.
But Eve was in-- Eve was in the wagon.
Eve was in that cart.
No, Joxer.
You know, she's right about one thing, Xena-- the gods'll stop at nothing.
Holding Celesta prevents them from killing anyone, but they'll inflict pain, suffering.
[ Joxer Narrating .]
Eve was safe.
The tears were collected.
Next-- release Celesta without it looking suspicious.
Gabrielle got captured on purpose.
Trying to rescue me made her capture look like it was unplanned.
- Where is she? - [ Choking .]
Okay, tell her.
Tell her.
Gabrielle revealed Xena's location.
- She's headed to the ocean.
- Details to follow, I'm sure.
The rest of the plan played out.
The gods assumed Xena and her child were inseparable.
- Gabrielle! - My guess-- my hope-- was that Gabrielle drank the tears first.
From that point, all they had to do was put on a convincing show.
Aah! To the gods, Gabrielle was killed in the crash.
- Eve? - Eve was dead-- consumed in the burning wreckage.
- No! - And even if they weren't completely convinced, what better way to solve that problem than by Xena taking her own life? Tell them it's a package deal.
They get me too.
The effect of the tears would soon wear off, with Xena, Eve and Gabrielle presumed dead by all of Olympus-- the perfect cover, the perfect advantage.
But one thing happened they never could have predicted.
Ares took them away just before you got here.
Oh, no.
You're with her now.
I handled you all wrong.
I know that.
She knew what you needed-- unconditional and unselfish love-- and I couldn't give that to you.
But I appreciated you in ways she never could-- your rage, your violence, your beauty.
When you sacrificed yourself for others, you were hers.
But when you kicked ass, you were mine.
I love you, Xena.
[ Wind Howling .]