Dynasty s05e20 Episode Script

Morning.
Good morning.
Did you sleep well? Not vey.
Didn't find the guest room comfortable? Blake, l'd like to talk.
Kystle, how many times are we going to do this to each other? There's nothing to talk about that we haven't talked about many times before.
Have we reached the point where we can't even talk to one another? Blake, so much was said in anger last night.
l l think we should discuss things before they get any worse.
Well, what are we going to talk about? That photograph of you and Daniel Reece? Are you going to tell me that it doesn't exist? Well, no, of course not.
Are you gonna tell me it was something that l imagined? - No.
- Then what? Are you going to tell me that it doesn't mean what's obvious? What obviously went on? Nothing went on.
Nothing happened.
Blake, who's doing this? Who's tying to break us up with these lies? Kystle, since when do pictures lie? Now, l didn't sleep vey well Iast night either.
l need time.
l need time to sort things out for myself.
[KNOCKS.]
Hello, Alexis.
Come in.
The smile that emptied a thousand bottles of champagne one New Year's Eve at the Moulin Rouge, so Parisian legend has it.
l don't think you'll be quite so cheey after l've gone.
Which may be in a moment, my dear.
What is it? Come in.
l spoke to my attorneys this morning, Dominique, and they told me that you are planning to take over my company.
- Have you totally lost your mind? - Quite the contray, Alexis.
l mean, you've helped to put it in total perspective for me.
lf you're going to ty to take over my company, the least l can do is take over yours.
Seems only fair, doesn't it? Fair? Colbyco is a giant, Dominique.
You are down there with the ants.
You don't stand a chance.
l think l do.
Colbyco has many times more stock available for me to buy.
Colbyco, the giant, is many times more vulnerable.
Why don't you ask your attorneys about that, Alexis? - You could ruin us both.
- If l have to, l will.
- l think you're bluffing.
- Am l? Ty me.
Withdraw your takeover bid, l'll withdraw mine.
And what if l don't? l promise you, Alexis, this is one battle you are never going to win.
My beloved mother used to tell me, never make promises that you can't keep.
lt's rude and impolite.
ln your case, Dominique, it's stupid and disastrous.
[COUGHING.]
ADAM: l've been thinking that since Jeffs been acting so supremely in control of Denver-Carrington, why don't l iust let him have control for a day? Let him deal with Blake.
It'll give us some time-- You're getting dressed.
l have to go to work.
- So soon? - Adam.
Now, look, if you tell me that you didn't enjoy last night, then l'll tell you you're lying.
Last night was a mistake.
- l'm still married.
- Yes, l know you are.
To my brother, Steven, who is gay.
l know he doesn't love you.
He loves another man.
Now, that's difficult to hear, but it's the truth, and it's time you dealt with that.
lt's also time you accepted this truth: l'm the only one who really cares about you.
- Do you know that? - Well, l know that l need you now.
l need you too, iust as much.
Oh, Adam, let's not fall in love.
l don't want either one of us hurt any more.
We won't be.
Promise.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
Ashley, l want you to know, while l'm enjoying being the most photographed man in histoy, l do have a business to think about.
By the time l'm finished, Blake, you won't have to think at all.
The last time l did a photo essay on someone for LlfE, his company's stock jumped three points, and Wall Street adored him.
Oh, yes, yes, l remember.
But our stock is privately held, unfortunately.
[ASHLEY CHUCKLES.]
[INTERcom BuzzEs.]
Yes? here to see you, Mr.
Carrington.
Oh, send her in, please, Barbara.
Business.
You'll want to be alone, right? Yes.
Thank you.
- Blake.
- Dominique, how are you? Wonde_ul.
Nice to see-- - Dominique.
- Ashley.
- It's been so long.
- l see that you two have met before.
- Yes.
- Yes, in Europe.
Many times and in many different places.
Well, l'm going to the boardroom.
l'll be back.
- Nice to see you.
- Bye.
- Come in.
Sit down.
- She doing a stoy on you, Blake? - Yep.
- Let me warn you, be careful.
Ashley Mitchell has a histoy of going after the unobtainable and getting it.
Now, you didn't come here to iust talk about Ashley Mitchell, did you? No.
Alexis paid me a little visit this morning.
She did? She knows about my plan for the counter-takeover.
And she has vowed that Colbyco will crush me and my company.
Well, l vowed that you'd get my full support.
l know.
l've been in catfights before, in the music business in the early days.
l've clawed my way to the top.
But Brady was always there beside me.
Without him, l'm not sure that l would've come this far.
Now that you need him the most, he's walked out on you, huh? Blake, please, don't start attacking Brady.
No, l'm not attacking him.
But, Dominique, you don't seem to understand.
Now, if Brady decides to join forces with Alexis, if he sells his stock to her, you are finished.
Alexis will gobble up your company just like that.
Blake, no matter what ever has happened, good or bad, between Brady Lloyd and me, no one, especially another woman, will ever turn Brady Lloyd against Dominique Deveraux.
Well, iust in case, you better find Brady before Alexis does.
[KRYSTLE GASPS.]
- Oh.
Jeff.
- l'm sory.
You looked so deep in thought there, l didn't wanna disturb you.
l iust stopped up to ask how things are going between Blake and you.
Now, Kystle, the sooner you talk to him about those photographs - l've tried, Jeff.
- And? Well, he's hurt, and he's angy.
He doesn't wanna hear what l have to say.
- You have to ty again.
- Well, l know what l have to do.
l'm sory, Jeff.
Well, look, l'm iust tying to help.
Jeff, l'll work this out in my own way.
[KRISTINA CRYING.]
Sweetheart, Mommy's here.
It's okay.
It's all right.
Are you sure you still haven't heard or seen anything of Dex? Well, Sam, if, by some miracle, your son does show up, will you please have him call me immediately? Oh, yes, l'll be careful.
l always am.
Bye.
l'm sory, Mrs.
De_er, but ALEXIS : It's all right.
Stuart, you can go.
Well, this is a first.
l don't know whether l should be honoured or call Security.
Ty something different.
Ty being honest.
Honest? Oh, Kystle, l'm always honest.
lt's my virtue, and my sometime downfall.
What would you like me to be honest about today? Oh! Love your new sable.
Honestly.
Alexis, we've never liked each other.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, that is an understatement if l've ever heard you utter one.
Go on.
But you are the mother of Blake's children, and l've always acknowledged that.
And l've even respected you for taking this company and continuing to make it grow after Cecil died.
Compliment from the sterling Kystle.
This is my lucky day.
What's wrong? Something must be wrong, othemise you wouldn't be here.
Someone is sending photographs to me of Blake and another woman.
What other woman? - You don't know? - No, l don't.
l never ask questions when l already know the answers.
What l do know, though, is that you think that l'm the one who's sending those photographs.
Well, you can put that idea out of your mind.
It's totally absurd.
- Was Rome absurd? - Kystle, who never forgets.
All Blake was doing was rubbing an ounce of innocent suntan lotion onto my shoulders in the parched Italian sun.
l have nothing to gain by sending you photographs, Kystle.
l suggest that you look for somebody who does.
Look for the person behind the camera.
One click of the shutter, and the course of histoy can often be changed.
Or nearly.
Yes, this is Dominique.
l want to speak to J.
J.
, please.
l don't care if he's in a meeting.
l wanna talk to him.
_.
__ What's wrong? You ask me what's wrong? Counsellor, l have iust been served with divorce papers.
What is Brady tying to do to me? What is he tying to do to us? But l love him, J.
J.
You have got to find him for me.
Please.
Yes.
All right.
Oh, God.
Can you make sure that we have enough tonic tonight? l don't wanna run out like l did last night.
- All right.
- Thanks.
Oh, Steven.
Claudia, l was hoping l'd find you here.
- Can l buy you a drink? - No, really.
- l'm vey busy.
Thanks.
- Wait a minute, Claudia.
You were the one who said we could be friends.
We both said a lot of things we didn't mean, didn't we? What are you talking about? Our marriage is over.
Why? Yesterday afternoon, La Bourgogne, you and Luke.
Didn't look like two people whose relationship was over walking in there.
Steven, if it's Luke that you want, fine, terrific, but you could've had the decency to be honest with me.
Claudia, you're wrong.
My relationship with Luke is finished.
We were just having lunch.
l know what l saw.
All l want from you is the right to see Danny, preferably when you're not around.
You are in no position to make demands, damn it.
Danny loves me.
Are you so selfish that you'd keep me from seeing him? Are you? This is not the first time Steven has said something he doesn't mean.
- Adam, l've never seen him so angy.
- Give him time.
He'll cool down.
And when he does, you can see Danny.
You know that.
l don't know.
l mean, if he keeps me from seeing Danny, l don't know what l'm going to do.
Now, is it the boy you'll miss, or Steven? Claudia? Adam, l married Steven because l loved him vey much.
ADAM: One of the wonde_ul things about you is the way you care about the people you love.
But don't waste it on Steven.
He doesn't deserve it.
Why don't you spend your time thinking about somebody who does deserve it? Like me.
l'll be there in 20 minutes.
Eavesdropping.
Now, that's not like you.
lt's hard enough for them without your coming on to Claudia.
ADAM: Right now, she needs a friend.
And some warmth and some understanding.
Things she can't get from Steven.
Oh, come off it, Adam.
You playing Mr.
Nice-Guy? l know you too well.
You never could help tying to steal what wasn't yours, could you? [LAUGHS.]
- And you don't? - What the hell does that mean? Denver-Carrington.
You're the one tying to worm his way into Blake's favour.
Tying to cut me out.
lt's not going to work, though.
Your stint as the playboy of the Western world hurt you.
Blake will never trust you again.
Jeff, you finally lost your grip on the Carrington empire.
At last, you're out of my way.
Anytime you're ready to test me, you just say the word.
But l don't need to be ready.
l'm Blake's real son.
And by the time the final balloting comes around, you'll be nothing but a minority stockholder.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Don't you walk out on me.
l'm not through with-- [GRUNTING.]
Stop it, you hear? Stop it.
Stop it.
What's going on here, anmay? Adam? Jeff? Damn it, l want an answer.
lt's nothing.
It-- It was my fault.
You don't believe him, do you? No.
As far as you're concerned, it's always my fault.
What was that all about? lt's nothing.
This is my house, and it's my family, and l wanna know what's going on.
l told you, Blake, it's nothing.
l can handle Adam, in my own way.
- More champagne, Mrs.
Colby? - No, thank you.
Honey, please stop swinging your legs under the table.
You're kicking me.
ALEXIS: l'm sure he didn't mean to do that, did you, darling? How about another Denver Dog? JEFF: That's, ''No, thank you '' right? L.
B.
: No, thank you.
ALEXIS : There's a good boy.
- _e_-- - Ow! He's doing that on purpose.
- No, l'm not.
- You are too, you-- - Jeff, please.
- But l'm not doing anything.
- That'll be enough, L.
B.
- l think the problem, if there is a problem, is that L.
B.
wants to go and play with his new toy.
- Right, darling? L.
B.
: Mm-hm.
ALEXIS : Okay, you go along.
[NIKKl YELPS.]
You spoiled little brat! Look what you've done! JEFF: It was an accident.
- An accident? - He ruined my dress.
- Dresses, as we all know, can be easily replaced.
A Halston or a Givenchy, or whatever designer it is that you're using.
Lin, would you take him over to play with his toy, please? LIN: Of course, Mrs.
De_er.
l'm sory.
Look, l'm-- l don't know what came over me.
l'm just not used to children.
ALEXIS : Obviously.
You haven't been married before, have you? Yes, once.
But we had no children.
Well, you'll find out soon enough, Alexis.
Nikki was married to De Vilbis.
Peter De Vilbis? No.
CHAUFFEUR: Will that be all, Mrs.
Carrington? Yes, thank you.
Oh, Mrs.
Carrington, Mr.
Carrington's upstairs with Kristina - in the nursey.
- Probably spoiling her.
Thank you.
ASHLEY: A little more to the right.
- More.
More.
- All right.
Oh, that's pe_ect.
[SHUTTER CLICKING.]
She has an innate sense of the dramatic.
And she's so beautiful too, isn't she? Beautiful? She's incredible.
Do you think we could take a few shots - of her against that background? - Sure.
Come on.
- Look at that little chin and that nose.
- Come on.
And those beautiful eyes.
Real Carrington stock, if you ask me.
Smile at the beautiful lady.
Come on.
- So strong.
- Blake? Oh, Kystle.
This is Ashley Mitchell.
This is my wife, Ashley.
Mrs.
Carrington, l'm doing a photo layout on your husband, and he's been kind enough to oblige me.
So l see.
This is such a special moment.
Would you be kind enough to hold Kristina, let me take a few photographs? Thank you.
ASHLEY: Okay.
Now, smile.
[SHUTTER CLICKING.]
ALEXIS: l have nothing to gain by sending you photographs, Kystle.
l suggest that you look for somebody who does.
Look for the person behind the camera.
l haven't been able to think of anything else all day long.
- Jeff, why did you do it? - Mary Nicole? Mary Nicole De Vilbis.
Mary the widow of the man who murdered Fallon.
What were you tying to do? Strike back at my daughter for running away from you? Jeff, l want an answer.
There must've been some method to your madness.
You want an answer? l was drunk, okay? l was vey, vey drunk.
Drunk? Jeff, you need help.
- Let me help you out of this.
- No.
l needed help when the only thing l could do was crawl into the nearest bottle.
The only person who would help me was Nikki.
- So you married her out of gratitude? - l married her because she loves me, and because she tries vey hard evey day to give me a new life.
Oh, Jeff those are vey nobie motives, but they're hardly worth giving up your life in return.
You are a wonde_ul man, and you need to find a woman who is worthy of you, not to mention a caring stepmother for your son.
Alexis, l am married to Nicole.
And l intend to make the best of it.
Operator, l want to make a long-distance call to the United States Embassy in La Paz, Bolivia.
ALEXIS: Conrad, you have got to get to Brady Lloyd.
We have got to find a way to make him sell out to us.
l don't care what it takes, Conrad.
We must buy him out.
Mr.
Carrington is here to see you.
- Send him in, Seth.
- Uh, it's Stuart.
Oh, Stuart.
Yes, of course.
STUART: Sir? - Morning, Blake.
- Morning.
- Come and sit down.
- Thank you, no.
Well, what can l do for you? Alexis, l thought, after what you said in Acapulco, we might put our differences aside for our children's sake.
You did say, didn't you, that we might be friends? Oh, yes, l said that, and l meant it sincerely.
But since Dominique is tying to take over my company, l'm forced to defend myself against your singing partner.
That singing partner happens to be my half-sister.
Oh, yes, l do remember that touching scene in Sumatra when your father was delirious and dying.
Well, since he anointed her your sister, Blake, why don't you save her? Because l'm gonna put her away.
lt'd be foolish, l suppose, to ty to convince you to stop this madness.
Blake, this is not madness, this is business.
Good business.
Colbyco is going to swallow Dominique's minnow of a company in one gulp.
Alexis, l warn you, in this case, the minnow might swallow the shark.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
Bye, Blake.
DOMINIQUE: l know it sounds strange, but if l lose this battle and eveything l own, l can live with that.
But, Blake, you are my flesh and blood.
l don't want to do anything to jeopardise Denver-Carrington.
Now, don't wory.
l've done eveything necessay to protect the company.
lt's iust you and Alexis battling it out now.
Well, there's no more of her stock for me to buy.
There's no more of my stock for her to buy.
Well, that's true, except for your husband.
Whatever you two do about your personal affairs, that's your own business.
But Brady's stock is still the crucial factor here, You must put your personal feelings about him aside.
- Do what? Should l beg him to help? - Yes, if necessay.
Alexis would, and probably is.
[INTERCOM BUZZES.]
- Yes? - Mr.
CarringtDn.
- Thank you.
Blake, do l know the name Tony Nelson? - Yeah, private detective.
- Is it about Brady? No.
No, it isn't.
Somehow l wish it were.
But l will find him.
l will track him down.
And, uh, l'll call you later.
- Yes, Nelson? Any news? - Uh, yes, but you're not going to like it.
Those envelopes, Mr.
Carrington, are sold in stationey stores all over the county.
And there are so many fingerprints, we can't ID any of them.
Well, keep on it.
Something will turn up sooner or later.
Thank you.
l must admit, Amanda, that you and the prince made a vey handsome couple on the dance floor.
- Even Minister Han remarked on it.
- It was nice for what it was.
Mm.
And what it was is nothing compared to what it could be.
As l told you before, darling, Prince Michael is one of the most eligible young bachelors in the whole of Europe.
Well, aren't we lucky, then, that l'm in America? Darling, do you really expect me to believe that you and he spent 36 hours alone together and all you did was play backgammon? Are you asking if we slept together? Of course not.
- l'm not that curious.
- Mommy, l know what you're doing.
You're tying to play matchmaker, and l won't stand for it.
May l point out that princes do not grow on trees? And when one falls at one's feet, as it were, one should know what to do with one.
l did.
l sent him on his way.
Oh, Amanda.
Anmay, instead of tying to solve my life, why don't you concentrate on your own? Which reminds me, where is Dex? Actually, l don't know.
And frankly, darling, l don't give a damn.
[DEX COUGHING.]
DEX: Alexis.
Don't.
Amanda.
Oh, Amanda.
l've seen the way you look at Amanda, Dex.
How could you mary her? You don't want her.
You want me.
l know you, Dex.
All you want to do is play games.
Games with a mother and daughter.
l never meant to hurt anybody.
There's no way l'm going to share you with anyone, because you're mine.
l want you, Dex.
l love you, Dex.
l need you.
l'm going to be watching you.
You're mine.
MAN: Señor Dex! - No! [SPEAKS IN SPANISH.]
Are you okay? l'm fine.
l'm fine.
l'm fine.
Bueno.
Señor Reece wants to see you.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH.]
Okay.
All right.
[KNOCKS.]
Door's open.
Come on in.
Hello, Ashley.
Kystle, l'm sory l missed you last night.
A day with Blake Carrington.
What do you think? Well, l had no idea you'd taken so many pictures.
Yes, over many days and some evenings.
l usually don't let anyone see them till l've made my final selection and chosen the proper order.
Pictures can distort reality, you know? Yes, l know.
Well, you've managed to capture Blake in moments when even l wouldn't know him.
ASHLEY: Yes, l know.
lt's amazing about men, powe_ul and important men, to see how they use their energy.
Some of them spend it all on business, and others seem to have time for their families.
Frankly, l think their women are the lucky ones.
What do you think? l've never given it much thought.
Actually, the secret of really good photography is to always catch a side of your subject that people don't normally see.
And at such distances, to get a picture so close, so clear.
- Do you use a special lens? - Not really.
Are you interested in photography, Kystle? A little, lately.
Tell me, um, how much training do you need to get pictures like this? Not much at all.
Probably an inspired amateur could do it.
l, uh, read an interview recently about a writer who said he could only use one kind of pencils and papers, or he couldn't work.
l suppose that's true with photographers too.
Exactly.
There's nothing really specific about it, but we all do have our little idiosyncrasies, our preferences for using certain kinds of film, processing, paper.
And envelopes? Yes, even envelopes.
l always use the kind that you're holding.
Kystle, why is it that l get the distinct feeling that you've come here to accuse me of something? l did.
l, uh, guess l was wrong.
l'm sory.
DOMINIQUE: Brady, a divorce is the last thing l could ever want.
But if you say it's what you need, it's what you want, l would never stand in your way.
But, darling, there is something l must ask you.
Has Alexis been in touch with you? Then you know that she has me right by the throat.
So which way is it gonna be for you, darling? [COUGHS.]
No, no, no.
l'm okay.
Brady, l asked you something.
And l have got to know.
BLAKE: Still no answer on Conrad Stillman, huh? No, Mr.
Carrington.
l've even checked his homes in Boca Raton and the Springs.
Mm-hm.
Keep tying, Barbara.
l'd like to know whether he's been in contact with Brady Lloyd or not.
[KNOCKS.]
Yes? - Am l interrupting? - No.
Morning, Ashley.
Good morning, Blake.
l'm afraid that this isn't a vey good day for taking pictures, Ashley.
There's iust too much going on today.
- Well, if you're busy, l'll, uh-- - No, no, wait.
Barbara, would you excuse us a moment, please? Certainly.
l'll bring these back later.
Maybe l should come back another time.
BLAKE : No, please, wait.
Eveything all right? Come on, now, what is it? We're friends.
We can talk to each other, can't we? What is it? l'm not sure how to say it.
It's about Kystle, Blake.
What about Kystle? She came to see me in my room last night, asking vey strange questions.
Asking questions about what? Well, l was doing the preliminay layouts, and your pictures were all over my room.
And she wanted to talk about Iong lenses-- Can anybody use them? --and types of film developing, even the kind of envelopes l use for mailing.
Envelopes? l had the feeling she was accusing me.
Accusing you of what? Of tying to come between the two of you.
Look, l'm probably wrong, Blake.
But l was concerned.
l'll call you tomorrow.
NEWSCASTER [ON TM: Earlier today, the bid by Colbyco Oil's Alexis Colby-Dexter to take over the Deveraux Group, Incorporated was stopped by Brady Lloyd, estranged husband of Dominique Deveraux.
Mr.
Lloyd refused to sell his large block of stock.
Business rivals of Alexis Colby-Dexter are not hiding their delight over her failure to win this round.
Bravo.
Have you come here to gloat? Oh, no, that would be much too easy.
lt was quite clever of you launching that counter-takeover, Dominique, but l assure you that if it hadn't been for Blake, you would never have succeeded.
So, what do you want? l am here, Alexis, to give you something you would never give me: fair warning.
Oh.
How ominous.
From now on, evey deal you make, evey step you take, turn and look over your shoulder, because, sooner or later, l will be standing there.
lt's as simple as that, lady.
[SIGHS.]
Thank you.
Blake.
l thought, when you married me, you understood what kind of a man l was.
What do you mean? l thought you understood, no matter what problems there might be for you, for me, for any member of this family, that whatever happened inside this house was to remain here, to be dealt with here.
- You've talked with Ashley Mitchell.
- How could you go to her? Someone who's been so kind to me, so helpful.
How could you go to her with your groundless suspicions? To her, of all people.
Because l thought she might be the one who was sending the pictures.
Why? What the devil would give you such an insane idea, anmay? KRYSTLE : l'll show you.
These.
- Where did these come from? - Someone sent them to me.
Just like someone is sending you photos of me with Daniel Reece.
Misleading photos to ty and tear us apart.
l told you l was doing eveything l could to find out who that someone is.
But that's not enough.
Blake, you and Kristina are my world, and someone is tying to destroy us.
l'll do whatever l have to do to keep that from happening.
Believe me, Kystle, l want to do eveything l can to prevent that evey bit as much as you do.
And l promise you that l will somehow.
lt's late.
We have to make an appearance at that celebration dinner.
Don't you think we ought to get dressed now? Why? Keep up appearances? Blake, l'm tired.
l think l'll stay home, if you don't mind.
[PIANO PLAYING.]
Claudia, come on and ioin us.
A little fun wouldn't hurt.
l can't.
l've got a room full of people to take care of.
JEFF: Ohh.
Who cares about them? Now that you've moved out of the house, we don't see enough of you.
NIKKl: Join us.
BLAKE : All right.
Good.
Now that we are all assembled, l would like to propose a toast.
DOMINIQUE: Oh.
Oh.
To the victor, Dominique Deveraux.
JEFF: To Dominique.
ADAM: Yeah.
- Thank you, Blake.
And thank you.
BLAKE: Cheers.
- Speech.
Speech.
- Oh, l'm l'm not one for making speeches, but l would like to tell you all how vey happy l am.
This is a big night.
We've beaten Alexis.
What a triumph.
And the victoy is all the sweeter because l can share it with you, my family.
CLAUDIA: How sweet, Dominique.
BLAKE: Nicely spoken.
- It is a big night.
- Yes.
What is it? You're still thinking about Brady, are you? l guess so.
But not tonight.
Blake, how will l ever repay you? You're family, remember? [COUGHING.]
- What is it, Dominique? - l'm really all right.
Well, can l get you something? Are you sure you're all right? [CLEARS THROm.]
Tonight is a night for celebrating, and that's exactly what we are going to do.
And l shall start the celebration now.
Let's do, uh, ''Chasing Rainbows.
'' PIANO PLAYER: My pleasure, Miss Deveraux.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Tonight is a vey special night for me.
Probably the most special night in my life.
l would like to do for you a vey special song.
[PIANO PLAYING.]
[SINGING.]
Some fellows look And find the sunshine l always look And find the rai-- [COUGHING.]
l always look And find the rain Some fellows make a winning Sometime l never even make a-- l never even make a gain Believe me l'm Always chasing rainbows Dominique? What is it? Dominique? Oh, my God.
Somebody call an ambulance, quick.