Hercules: The Legendary Journeys s05e20 Episode Script

Wah! Yah! Ya-ha! Hi, buddy! Boy, there's nothing like a little exercise in the morning to get the blood flowing, huh? Yeah.
Well, that's kind of a switch.
Um, where did you learn how to do that? What? Oh, you know, any jester worth his salt is part acrobat! You know, I'm not used to seeing you so cheery.
Yeah, I know.
I was a little depressing there for a while, wasn't I? Depressing? Uh, no, no.
You were beyond depressing.
A snakebite on your eyeball.
That's depressing.
Okay.
Enough of that.
A butt full of porcupine quills.
That was like a picnic compared to you.
Hey! Don't talk! Eat! Uh, what is this? Well, I call it a waffle.
- Why? - Because when I was trying to think of what to call it, I Well, I couldn't really There wasn't a Didn't really know what to call it, so Ahh! Fair enough! You know, Hercules, I'm really beginning to enjoy my new life here.
And I have you to thank.
Oh, please.
You would have been just fine.
Still, I wish there was some way I could repay you.
Really? Yeah.
Keep makin' these things, and we'll call it even.
Okay.
Help! It's amazing.
Everywhere I go.
Help me! Let's check it out.
Run, half-god! Soon enough, you will flee a terror both insidious and beyond your wildest imagination! Boo! Deimos, for the God of Terror, you are justsopathetic.
What are you up to? I'm on a mission for Ares.
You? Working for Ares? Why do I find that so hard to believe? You've got an overly skeptical nature? No, no, he's handling something for me, so please do drop him.
You heard him, Discord.
Drop me! Ares, if you wanted something handled, why didn't you come straight to me? I know where your talents lie.
I just wanted to see if your Cousin Deimos was a worthy successor to dear, departed Strife as my second-in-command.
- They look enough alike, don't you think? - Do not.
I'm taller, and he's dead.
Second-in-command? That's my job! Oh, itwasyour job Is somebody talking to you? You know how I hate these family conflicts.
You kids work this out, or I will.
Permanently.
A plague upon the town! Hey! You leave that man alone! They'll kill him! No, they won't.
Look out! Get out of the way! So, what's this mission got to do with Hercules? Hercules? By the time I'm finished with him, the world won't see much more of Hercules.
Don't be afraid.
They're gone now.
Please.
Don't look at me.
Are you not seeing what I'm not seeing? No.
I'm not.
Me neither.
This is the story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend, when the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering.
Only one man dared to challenge their power Hercules.
Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen, a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.
He journeyed the earth, battling the minions of his wicked stepmother, Hera, the all-powerful queen of the gods.
But wherever there was evil, wherever an innocent would suffer, there would be Hercules.
Hail! This looks deserted.
Looks can be deceiving.
Ah! Strangers! It's all right.
We're here to help.
I've never seen anything like this.
No pun intended.
Leave us alone.
No one can help us, Hercules.
Not even you.
We'll see about that.
No pun intended.
People fade away, bit by bit.
Till they vanish completely.
Then they die.
It started after the harvest.
My husband was the first to fade.
When you say he faded, he actually disappeared? In less than a day, he was gone forever.
Not even a body to bury.
And no one knows why.
Think back.
You said this started after the harvest.
Yes, it was market day.
My husband had brought our crops to town.
- Where are the crops stored? - In the village storehouse.
Kill those freaks! Destroy them all! Um, Hercules, uh Yeah.
I know.
I'll try to reason with them.
lolaus, go to the storehouse and see what you can find.
No, you'll be okay.
You have my word: what happened to your husband won't happen to you.
Go get him! Get him! Worried about something? No.
Look, cuz, I know you're incompetent.
You know you're incompetent.
But we don't want Ares to know you're incompetent.
Am I right, or am I right? Yeah, well, sure.
I guess.
There aren't any secrets among family.
I can't help you out if I don't know the problem.
All right.
Look.
I set a trap for Hercules, and his little friend's about to ruin it.
Ha! Discord, you gotta help me, please.
Okay.
Here's what we're gonna do.
You all know what we have to do.
The Faders must die before what is happening to them overtakes us all! I say, "Put them to the death!" And I say, "Not a chance.
" This is none of your business, Hercules! It's everyone's business.
How dare you! Those people are your neighbors, your friends.
You've known them all your lives.
Now something's happening to them that you can't understand, and you're frightened.
So, as good friends and neighbors, what do you do? First, you lock them up, and then you decide to kill them.
Shame on you.
What do you want us to do? For starters, let's clean up this mess.
Noble words and fine sentiments.
But words and sentiments are of no use to the dead.
He's right! Make no mistake, my friends.
Death is the real issue here.
- Nobody has to die.
- You may not fear death, half-god.
But we do! The gods have cursed this village! - Well, you don't know that.
- Work their will, and you may live.
Defy them, and you will surely die! The old man is right! We must kill the Faders, or we too will fade away! Kill the Faders! Kill them! Wait! Wait! Don't let him scare you! Get out of the way! Nice try, Deimos.
How'd you know? Your annoying laugh.
That wasn't a compliment.
Now, tell me why these people are fading.
Or you'll be the next one to disappear.
Well Oh, come on! I don't know what I'm looking for.
- How am I supposed to find it? - Ouch! Ow! Hey! Hey, here.
Here.
Let me help you.
Are you all right? You're the first person I've seen in two days - who isn't a Fader.
- Well, what are you doing here? Well, hiding! Seems like everyone out there has gone crazy.
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
Uh I'm, uh, lolaus.
I'm Leche.
It's nice to meet you.
Yeah! You too.
Uh, well, I'm a little busy.
Do you want to Um, what are we looking for? Oh I don't really know, uh Um - I think we just found it.
- Found what? What is that? I'm not sure, but it seems to have contaminated all the food.
Then, it's probably better not to touch it.
Right.
Hercules'll know what to do with it.
Let me go.
Please! Look at this.
Let me go.
Look at this! Now, end this! Or I'll end you.
I can't! That's the wrong answer.
Oh, no.
Oh, no! I swear, I can't do anything without the rock! What rock? This rock? - The Rock of Argius.
- "Rock of Ages"? Argius.
He was a Cyclops.
When he and his brothers rebelled against the gods, Zeus turned their eyes to stone.
Good old Dad.
When the Cyclops died, they cursed their blind, stone eyes.
"Let those with sight be taken from sight as sight was taken from us.
" That's really clever! What are you gonna do now? Smash the rock.
Break the curse.
Wait.
It can't be that easy.
It isn't.
If I destroy the rock, the curse falls on me.
What kind of a choice is that? It's the only one he's got if he wants to save the villagers.
It's quite a dilemma, isn't it? Ooh! The curse has been lifted! Thank God.
No Thank Hercules! Heroes don't always die in battle or in bed, Hercules.
Sometimes they just fade away.
Oh, my face! Oh, no! Look on the bright side.
The village is safe, and now I can sneak into a theater without paying for tickets! - A-Am I being unclear? - How can you make a joke at a time like this? What are we gonna do? I've got an idea.
Hercules.
You're okay, you're okay! It worked! I told you, everybody.
There's nothing to worry about.
Hercules always saves the day! So, how did you save the day today, Hercules? I didn't.
But I- I can see you! It's mind over matter.
But I can't keep this up forever.
Ria.
Where did your husband get the crops he brought into town? - He brought them from a farm, north of the river.
- Near the quarry.
- What are you thinking? - Argius was buried there with his brothers.
Three blind Cyclops, three stone eyes.
One down, two to go.
So we go to the quarry, we get the other stone eyes Hopefully find the stone, and take the curse off of me.
Let's go.
So, once my brother Hercules fades, what then? Does he rattle his chains, hang around like a bad memory moaning into the wind? No, no, no, no.
"Out of sight, out of mind," remember? By the end of the day, Herc'll be gone for good.
Or, should I say for bad? Oh, Deimos.
I had my doubts about you.
I thought you were too twitchy to be the God of Terror, but I gotta say, you proved me wrong.
Thank you, Cousin.
Thank you.
Ordinarily, someone proves me wrong, I gotta hurt him.
Yeah.
What? But I'm in such a good mood, I'm prepared to let this slip just once.
Congratulations.
You are my new number two.
Oh! Oh, Cousin! This is such an honor! I don't know what to say, but A simple "thank you" would have been fine.
How comehegets to be your new number two? - It was a team effort.
- Oh, please.
I did all the work! Stop! Oh, stop, children.
I mean, I like a good bloodbath as much as the next war god, but please I just had the rugs cleaned.
You think you really made Hercules disappear? Think again, you little toadstool.
Look at him help the weak, defenseless, everyday people.
It makes me want to hurl! - Deimos - I don't understand.
Um, friends? Truce? Uh, "Go, team.
" Bite me, baby.
Your new number two is definitely a number two.
Find out what went wrong.
You fix it.
Okay! Hercules treated you like a child frightened by the dark.
Leave me alone.
But you had good reason to be afraid! You still do.
What do you mean? If Hercules and that little friend find another rock, they'll unleash forces beyond comprehension.
- No.
- Oh, yes.
And the whole, wide world will fade away.
What can we do? They must be stopped.
Even if it means killing them.
Think of your responsibility.
To the town.
To your neighbors.
To the children.
You're right.
Hercules must be stopped.
Even if it means killing him! Hercules must be stopped! Even if it means killing him! Why, you Hercules, how long can you keep this up? As long as it takes.
But Ria said her husband faded in less than a day! I'll be all right.
Okay, okay.
Think positive.
Think positive.
Oh, you're sweating! You never sweat! Holding yourself together is killing you.
Not holding myself together would kill me too.
Either way, I'm not too pleased about this.
I should never have given you that rock.
No.
Those people would be gone by now if you hadn't.
You did the right thing.
Well, easy to say.
Harder to accept.
You know, everything I've learned about courage or bravery in this world I've-I've learned from following your example.
And I guess I Wait.
Before we met, y You saw yourself as a jester.
So that's what you were.
I saw you as a hero who didn't know it yet.
So once you saw yourself that way too, well, that's what you became.
We are what we perceive ourselves to be.
- lolaus.
- Uh, could you perceive yourself to be someone who's here? Hercules? Hercules? Herc Where are you? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This is not happening! Hercules! Okay, look on the bright side, he said.
All right.
I can do that! Herc! You know what the bright side is? It couldn't possibly get any worse! Oh, me and my big mouth! Where's Hercules? Uh, you know, I-I was wondering that myself.
Hey! Why don't we go and find him? You guys go that way, I'll go this way, and whoever finds him first, give a big yell! Wasn't the kind of yell I had in mind.
All right.
You wanna play tough? Come on! All right! Let that be a lesson to ya! Nice work, buddy.
Huh? Hercules? - Uh, where are you? - Right in front of you.
Where? Hey! Watch it.
Here.
You really are here.
You're i-in You're not I mean, you're invisible? Yeah, it, uh, looks that way, doesn't it? Hmm.
Well, he took that pretty well.
Uh, I think you better lay off those waffles, lolaus.
You're gettin' kinda hefty.
Come on, Discord.
Fun's fun.
Enough's enough.
Let me down, huh? Mm, not a chance.
- But I'm not your enemy! - Oh, really? Let me think: who's tryin' to take my place as Ares' second-in-command? I've got it! Deimos! That's you! I don't care about Ares.
I just want everybody to fear me the way they feared Cousin Strife.
NobodyfearedStrife.
Nobody's gonna fear you.
Discord! I'm warning you! When Ares hears about this, he'll ah, he'll - He'll what, Deimos? - I don't know.
But it's gonna hurt, okay? You know, cuz? You really ought to try seeing my side of this.
- Your side? - A goddess has to protect her prerogatives.
Every argument has two points of view.
Otherwise, there'd be no room for Discord! Think about it.
You're right.
I should never have got between you and Ares.
Are you crazy? That witch has got you hanging upside-down from a tree! She acted in self-defense.
A motivation entirely reasonable! If you let me down, I'll reason you a broken nose, you moron! Come on, lolaus.
Rise and shine! Hey, okay, okay.
I'm awake.
Stop it.
How's your head? You got a pretty nasty bump when you fell.
It's all right.
It'll be okay I think.
How about you, Hercules? Are you okay? Other than being invisible, I'm fine.
You don't have much time, do you? Tell you the truth, lolaus, I'm not so sure I'm gonna get out of this one.
Hey! I'm the one that's supposed to be negative, remember? Y- You can't just give up like this.
I'm not giving up! But I also know that every time I throw caution to the wind, I have to be prepared for the possibility that I might not make it.
Maybe this is it.
Are you making fun of me? Maybe a little.
Oh.
Good.
I'm glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor.
lolaus, keep talking.
Pretend I'm still here.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, indubitably, Hercules.
It'd be really difficult to get to sleep when you can see right through your eyelids.
- Hello, beautiful.
Going my way? - Let me go! Let me go! Discord.
Hi, guy.
If you weren't a goddess, I'd I'd tear out your hair! Please.
You're not still mad about that little mix-up with Trident's daughter, are you? Give it up! The girl's a fish.
Nautica is not a fish! She's a mermaid! And I loved her, and she loved me.
- And you ruined everything! - We don't have time for this! Okay, Hercules.
Wise up.
If I hadn't have given her legs, you never would have met her in the first place.
I did you a favor! Tell this dimwit I'm on your side! The only side you're on is your own.
Usually true.
But this time, we share an enemy.
Our Cousin Deimos wants to destroy you to win favor with Ares.
I'd say the job's half-done already.
- All right.
So what are you offering? - We don't need her help.
I know where Deimos found the Rock of Argius.
Good for you.
So do we.
Oh! Well, in that case, never mind.
But you're coming with us anyway.
Hercules, we can't trust her! All the more reason to keep her where we can see her.
That quarry is on the other side of this hill, so come on.
"Is not.
" "Is too.
" "Is not.
" "Is too.
" "Is not.
" "Is too.
" Let go, already.
I'm not going anywhere.
Good for you.
So, once we get to the quarry, we'll just get the rocks lift the curse, and you'll be back in living color! That's the general idea! Finding a rock in a quarry? That's like looking for hay in a haystack.
Hey! I've about had it with all this negativity.
You really need to be more of a team player.
lolaus? You kidnapped me! Well, if you want to get technical.
You know, you guys are becoming a big, fat pain in my invisible "Is not!" "Is too!" "Is not!" "Is too!" Shut up! Hi! Hi, hello? Hey! You said Hercules would be gone by now.
You mean, he isn't? Aspiring minds want to know.
What is that? Huh? It's Hercules! Tossing those chumps like yesterday's lunch! I am not in the mood for games! Uh-oh.
Aah! Now, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Uh It takes time to fade away.
And he has the strength of a half-god, so, um Uh, don't worry! It won't last.
- Are you stalling me? - No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Remember: "Out of sight, out of mind.
" He'll never find the stones! Ooh.
He's not alone, remember.
He's got that annoying clown clone helping him.
Yeah.
Why didn't you say so, bro? Ahh! I'll rip off his eyeballs and suck out his brains.
Then Herc'll be all alone! Yeah, all right.
Just so long as you promise to suck his brain out! I shouldn't be doing this, a man of my delicate nature.
The quarry's right over this ridge.
Uh-huh.
You know, I could use a hand here.
What do I look like to you? A social worker? - Move your ass! - Oh! Let me help you.
Thanks.
I could have killed myself.
Don't let it get to you.
Does she have to be here? I told you you could do it yourself.
All we have to do now is find another stone eye.
I think we came to the right place.
Yeah.
But just when you thought things couldn't get any worse They do.
Told ya so.
You again.
Go away! My head hurts! Hercules and his little chum are still alive! You've got to stop them before they find the Cyclops's eyes! Forget it.
I've had enough.
I just want to go home.
Then you're doomed! Doomed to fade away until there's nothing left of you but the crying wind.
Is that how you want to die? To become less than a ghost? A lonely spirit in the underworld? Is it? Is the job done? I think I'm beginning to understand mortal man.
You just have to call their pride, their ego and their masculinity into question, and you can manipulate them into doing just about anything! Very good.
It's only taken you Now, mortal women I mean, they're an entirely different story.
- I just don't get 'em! - Oh, Deimos.
Don't sell yourself short.
You don't getanywomen.
All right, Mr.
Big Bad God of War, if you understand 'em so well, you explain I mean, Mr.
God of War, sir! That's better.
The secret to understanding women is to realize that they don't actually need men.
Now, if they ever figure this out, it's a very sad day indeed.
So, we mustnever let them use tools Uh-huh.
or take out the garbage, or open their own door.
So that's the secret? Yeah.
And if it ever gets out, I'll know who told.
My lips are sealed.
This is hopeless! There have to be a million rocks here.
We'll never find the right ones.
If Deimos can find one, we can find one.
Who knows how long he looked? And what if the one he found was the only one left intact? What if the others were destroyed ages ago? - What if this isn't the right place? What if - What if you just shut up? Can you do that? Just shut completely up? You are the most negative person I've ever met! - And coming from me, that's saying a lot.
- I'm not negative.
I'm realistic.
Everything I said is true.
This is hopeless.
There are millions of rocks here, and we don't know how long Deimos looked.
You can sit here and gripe, or you can help me look for the stone.
I think I'll sit and gripe, thank you.
Fine.
- Ow! Ow! Ooh! Mm.
- Why in the world did I ever agree to help you two bozos? Hey! Over here! Where? Here! - Here where? - Here here! Now who's being a realist? Ah-ah-ah-ah.
Look, don't touch.
Oh.
So, what are we gonna do? When Hercules smashed the Rock of Argius, he took on the Cyclops's curse.
All we have to do now is find someone to do the same for him.
Just how good a friend are you? - Uh - I won't let anyone make that trade.
There has to be another way.
Well, then it's hopeless! Oh, look on the bright side! Hercules? What's the bright side? I'm thinking.
Avalanche! Oh! Those are the guys from the road! - Why are they after us? - Maybe we should ask them.
Mind if I have one of those? - Uh-uh-uh.
- Look, Hercules.
You know how much I hate you.
But right now, stopping Deimos is more important to me.
Trust me.
H- How could you trust her? You can always trust a god to do what's in their own best interest.
Besides, I only need one of these stones.
Wait here.
Wait.
Wait, Hercules! Where are you going? Aah! Discord! Hold this, would ya? Now, drop it! No, no, no, no! No! Let go of me! Let go! Aah! You idiot! - Can you see me? - Y-Yeah.
Ah.
Just checking.
No? Hercules? We've got a problem here! I want you to see this, bro.
Know what happens when I break your buddy's neck? Apart from thrashing around like a dead chicken.
Come on! Give me the stone, and save your little friend.
He doesn't like being called "little.
" Oh, you're back! With a vengeance.
Come on, come on, come on! I am so sick and tired of wiping the floor with you, Ares.
I'm starting to think you're a masochist.
- What'd you call me? - A masochist.
You know, I kinda like the sound of that.
Let's rock! Hey! War God! Catch! - Ares! Ares! Don't! - Yeah.
No, Ares! I tried to warn him.
Ah, guys like that never listen.
That was close.
Looks like you boys had yourselves a party! Ares broke the last Cyclops eye.
Guess there's an opening in the war god department.
- Cool! Bye, guys.
- W-W-W-Wait.
- Where's Deimos? - Deimos? Don't worry about him.
I'm sure he's hangin' around somewhere.
"You got me into this mess.
" "I did not!" "Did too!" "I did not.
" "You did too.
" "I did not!" "Did too!" "Oh, relax, buddy.
We're all friends here.
" "No, we're not friends! I don't even know your name!" "Oh, we're all friends!" Boy, Hercules, I gotta say, it's really good to see ya.
Ah, it's good to be seen.
You know, it, uh, turns out I was right.
What about? Without me around, you still acted like a hero.
Well, what do you expect? I was taught by the best.
Best? Why, I don't know about that.
You are! I've done research! Pie charts, bar graphs You know, you're at the top of almost all the categories.
What do you mean "almost"? Yeah! Ah, lolaus.