Boy Meets World s05e21 Episode Script

Previously on Boy Meets World Surprise.
Good.
Well, I'm glad we cleared this up.
Cory, if you want me to leave, I will.
But I needed to see you.
You never answered my letter, and I needed to know if what we had was just because of the fireplace and the mountains and the sky.
Lauren, I'm meeting Topanga here, okay? And I Really, I don't want her to see us together.
I like Lauren.
I like spending time with her.
But I can live without her.
I can't live without Topanga.
Cory, I can't see you anymore.
What? You're going to kiss me now, aren't you? Do you know what I felt when he kissed me? Yeah, I probably do.
Nothing.
What? I called him today to let him know I can't ever see him again.
You did? Because I'm in love, Angela.
I don't mean high school "I love you, I love you, too.
" I mean I am in love with Cory Matthews.
And I want to be.
There's nobody else in the world for me, and there never will be.
I'm taken.
So are we starting over? Yeah.
Morning, Mr.
Feeny.
Wait a minute.
You're sitting together.
You're talking in unison? Everything's better.
We worked out our differences.
We got back together.
Oh, well, good.
Aw, shucks.
And I'm sure I'm not half as thrilled as Shawn was when you told him the good news.
Oh, no.
I mean, he was even more broken-hearted than you two.
You did tell Shawn, didn't you? Well, we just got back together last night.
I've had a lot of stuff on my mind.
You should've told Shawn before you told me.
Cory.
It's okay.
I mean, we'll tell him now.
It's not like anybody else knows, right? Congratulations, you guys.
Oh, my gosh.
Shawn is going to kill me if he finds out he was not the first person to know.
He tried every way he knew how to get us back together.
Okay, listen.
There is only one thing to do.
Ho ho! Is that the stupid idea train coming 'round the bend? We have to pretend to still be apart for his sake.
All aboard! Whoo-whoo! It is so simple.
We'll set it up so he can reunite us.
It's a great plan! It's not a great plan.
It's an anti-great plan.
If I may, five words.
Topanga is correct.
That's only three.
You moron.
Okay.
Listen, Topanga, you got to help me.
Help me convince Shawn it's up to him to get us back together.
Why can't we just tell him the truth? Because look at him.
He bleeds for us.
You and I could make him the happiest guy in the universe.
Oh, this can't possibly come out well.
I can't believe you said that to me, you stunted little whiny Brillo head! Wow! Oh, yeah? Well, you're a short little nasal-voiced blimpo-lipped So and so.
I need more time.
When will this madness end? Very soon, I hope.
It's all so crazy.
I feel like I'm just clinging to the wreckage.
Well, day 53 of the wreckage.
You kiss my blimpo lips and tell them you're sorry.
Well, I would, but my Brillo head might poke your eyes out.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Now, let's be mad at each other.
Whoo-whoo! Your plan is working.
Shawn still thinks you're apart.
I can't believe we were ever apart, my little love dumpling.
With plum sauce.
On the other hand, you both sicken me.
I know this is wrong, but I'm actually starting to enjoy this deceitful little game.
You are? Really? Yeah.
I mean, don't you find it sexy, Cory? Cory and sexy in the same sentence, wow.
I do believe your resolve is weakening, my little kumquat.
Oh, I want to kiss you so bad.
This sneaking around stuff seems to be agreeing with you.
Only if I can be sneaky with you.
On the other hand, you sicken me, too.
And I have serious misgivings about being part of your little Bighorn Where General Custer and his wife Mrs.
Custer had a beach house.
Oh, I'm way too involved.
Here he comes.
All set? All set.
I can't believe how many good years I've wasted on you, Cory Matthews! But, Topanga, think of everything we've had, everything we've shared.
Sure, we've had some kicks, a few laughs.
Maybe you should've thought about that before you spent time with that skinny-lipped ski bunny.
Ah! She has a name.
I can't take this anymore.
Shawn! We need your help.
But it's hopeless.
No, it is not hopeless.
Yes, it is.
Cory, look at how callous and uncaring she is about you.
Look at her again.
Nah, she's like ice.
Hey.
What are these tears, Topanga? Are Are these the tears of hope? Maybe a little.
But I just saw him pleading with you to take him back, and you didn't.
That wasn't my heart talking, Shawn.
Cory and I are meant to be together.
I just fear that there's too much damage done for us to put us back together ourselves.
You are our last hope.
Really? Yeah.
I am? But I'm sure all you have to do is say so, and he'll come running.
If only it were that easy.
One of the things I love most about Cory is his fierce pride.
That's crazy.
I've known Cory all my life.
He has no pride at all.
Watch this.
Hey, Cor, I think she'll take you back.
She can rot in hell.
Wow.
You know him better than I do.
Say you'll help us.
Perhaps you thought I'd used up all my emotional strength over the last but I have kept just a little right here, in the pumper, for I always knew this day would come, and I am prepared for you, my beloved friends, to squeeze out the last drop of my emotional toothpaste.
I'm telling him.
He's making a speech.
Let him talk.
I will save you two.
Oh, yes.
I will.
What a jerk.
"She can rot in hell"? It's too much? Ah, you're actually pretty good at this.
Thank you.
You're actually pretty good at Whoa.
I was actually I was going to say, you're good at field hockey, but you're good at this, too.
Hey, let me ask you something about Cory and Topanga.
Are they still estranged? That was on my word-a-day calendar.
Good thing you asked me today, too, because if you asked me tomorrow, I would've said "Are they still estranged"? Hey.
I think they both want to get back together.
They just need me to give them a push in the right You know.
Estranged? Yeah, estranged.
He's getting worse.
I have been trying to help them all along, but nothing I do works.
Their Their relationship is just more complicated than most.
They're different.
If I figured out why they're different, maybe I could help them.
They're different because they love each other.
Then why did they break up? I don't know.
I just know I need to help them.
No! You can't help them today.
Today's estranged day, and so is tomorrow.
You can't get them back together on estranged day.
You got to wait till the day after tomorrow.
Why? What word is that? That would be "estranged.
" Hey! You know, this is the last time I buy anything from All right.
Get in the shed.
I hate this.
Okay, Shawn, how are you going to save our doomed relationship? It's not doomed.
It's just hopeless.
Good.
Good for both of you.
Admitting there's a problem is always the first step in recovery.
Okay, so what do we do? Well, the first thing we all have to realize is that this is going to take time.
Time.
Time is it.
And it might not even happen soon.
But, you know, we could wake up tomorrow And be back together! Shawn, thanks, buddy! Let's just see what happens tomorrow.
Okay.
So, we all know that this is going to take an enormous amount of time.
Because, well, he kissed another girl and then he went on a date with her.
Yes, thank you, Shawn.
And she was catting around with that good-looking art guy.
Yeah, okay.
And when I was thinking about this on the way over, I realized, yeah, it's possible that they may not belong together.
I mean, the heartless cruelty you inflicted on each other, who does that to each other? No.
No.
There just may be too much damage done.
Fortunately, I know you better than you know yourselves, and I know that deep down, in your souls, you love each other.
You sure? Yeah.
That's good.
So we're done? No.
We're just getting started.
Cory, if there was one thing that you could change about Topanga, what would that be? I wouldn't change a thing.
Oh, work with me here.
Be brutally honest.
Name one thing that you would change.
Don't think, feel! But I'm not sure Humor him.
But I wouldn't change anything about you.
Come on, Cory.
We've been broken up for 53 days.
I'm sure you can find a teensy bit of anger and resentment somewhere in you if you dig real deep and think about all the pain I've caused you lately.
Is there, Cory? Is there some anger that the two of you still need to work out? You know, I never knew you could be so cold and unforgiving.
And how do you feel about that? Terrible! Topanga, I was only No more secrets! But I was only No more hostility! Now, what about you, Topanga? I can't believe what an insensitive jerk you are! Are you serious? How do you feel about that, Cory? Not good.
Why would you say I was cold and unforgiving? I don't know.
It seemed like the right thing for an insensitive jerk to say.
Well, good! Okay! You see, we've got a dialogue going now, and we're on the road to reconciliation, right, guys? Right? Aren't we on that road? Maybe an access road? We even in the car? You're right.
I'm cold and unforgiving, so I have no idea how I thought we could've gotten back together.
She really left! I told you, this is going to be tough.
What? Well, maybe we're just going to have to accept the fact that you and Topanga aren't going to get back together.
You big, stupid idiot! That's great! Let it out.
You don't understand.
We were back together.
We just wanted to make you feel like you had something to do with it.
What? You mean, you didn't need my help really? Hey, you'll forgive me if I don't feel bad for you right now.
Well, what kind of stupid thing was it for you to care whether I put you back together or not? What are you, Humpty Dumpty? No, no, no, Shawn.
You do not understand.
We told Feeny first, okay? You would've been very, very upset.
Wait.
Wait a minute.
You told Feeny before you told me? Yes.
Who cares? The main thing is you're back together! But we're not now! You just broke us up again! You're just telling me that so I can put you back together again.
I don't like your sick games, Cory the mind bender.
You know, we really should have taken more classes during our senior year.
We have entirely way too much time on our hands.
Okay.
I've gathered you all here today to ask one question.
By a show of hands, how many of us are sick of the Cory-Topanga issue? Eric, you're the only one not raising your hand.
That's right.
Why is that, Eric? Because I'm the extension.
You mean exception? Was today's word "exception"? No, today's word was "pertinent," but I didn't that was having anything to do with this situation.
All right.
By a show of hands, how many people are tired of Eric? Cool.
It's ubiquitous.
Look, Shawn, it was really nice of you to stage this little intervention for us, but I really think Cory and I can handle our relationship or non-relationship or whatever it was or is or might be.
I don't think so, Topanga.
You've had your chance.
I'm taking your relationship out of your hands.
I don't think you even understand your relationship.
They love each other.
Then why did they break up? I don't even know what she's upset about.
You called me cold and unforgiving.
You used to think I was pretty perfect! You called me an insensitive jerk! You used to think I was the most considerate guy in the world.
Maybe we've just known each other for too long.
Maybe we don't really belong together anymore.
Or maybe there's just some residual anger keeping you apart.
Residual! To leave over.
Like if your mom makes a pot roast and you don't finish it, what you have left over is the residual pot roast.
Residual.
You don't know what it's like to live here, man.
You don't.
Then why do you stay? Because He's my friend.
Because I like him, and no matter what crazy things he says or does, I still like him.
God help me, I still like him.
Oh, hey, come here, man.
Come here.
Oh, look at them.
They're, like, a million miles apart.
I don't think so.
I don't think we ever understood how close they actually are.
What? Cor, we need you to be back home when Morgan gets back from her art lesson.
Hi, Topanga.
Hi.
Why, you got a big emergency? Your mother needs me to go shopping with her for bath towels.
Suddenly she can't buy them without me.
Alan, I am perfectly capable of picking out towels by myself.
I just want to make sure I don't pick out something too pink or too fluffy this time.
Buy whatever you want.
Just don't punish me over towels, okay? Maybe the punishment is because you forgot my mother's birthday.
I didn't forget.
I made a choice.
Oh, that is the most insensitive thing I have ever heard! Runs in the family.
Fine.
You know, let's just get this over with, so I can get back for the game.
Oh, the precious Phillies.
I'm sure this game will make a difference between, what, fourth or fifth place? What What did you just say? I said they stink! You want to watch baseball, move to Baltimore.
What did you just say? Give me the keys.
I'm driving.
It's 5:00.
You're a lunatic at rush hour.
Mom, come on.
When you said lunatic It's not the traffic that makes me crazy, dear.
"Oh, oh, look out! Turn right here, please.
"Oh, you're too close! Yield!" And if I'm such a bad driver, why did you marry me? Dad, when you say why did you marry me I wouldn't have if I had listened to my mother.
Mom, Dad, please.
Listen You know, I am glad that I forgot your mother's birthday, and when June 14th rolls around, I might forget someone else's, too.
Oh, you think it's funny if I forget your birthday, huh? That's your birthday.
What? And I know just what I'm going to get you, you big lug.
What? What are you going to get me? Come on, give me a hint.
I'm not going to tell.
Give me a hint.
Then it won't be a surprise.
Come on, come on.
Oh, I know.
You're going to give me bath towels.
Right? Well, maybe I'll tell you in the car.
Okay.
You want to drive? No, you can drive, but don't listen to the game on the radio, because I want to talk to you.
About what? About whatever you want.
All right, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Come on, whoa.
Wait a minute.
What just happened here? You two just said horrible things to each other and then got all lovey-dovey.
Hey, I was going to say that! How come you say that when I was going to say that? Who cares who says it as long as it gets said? Then what are we arguing about? We sound like them.
Oh, no.
We do.
Why Why do we sound like you? Because you love each other.
No matter what crazy things he says or does, you still love each other.
Then why did we break up? Because we're in high school, and you think you're supposed to.
But when two people are really in love, it doesn't matter that there are disagreements sometimes.
It comes with the territory.
And when two people are really in love, they don't break up just 'cause they have a fight.
Love would be pretty dull if you agreed about everything.
Besides, then they'd never get to make up.
When two people are in love, they don't break up just because they fight.
Want to make up now? Now, that was the most incredible thing I've ever seen.
Thank you.
What, like you had anything to do with it? Shawn? Shawn, Cory and I are back together now.
We wanted you to be the first one to know.
Hey, Cory and Topanga are back together.
They are? Yeah.
And, listen, Shawn, I'm sorry we ever put any pressure on you to get us back together.
You know, I mean, even though you're my best friend, no one could ever do that.
I guess friendship only goes so far.
Morning, boys.
Salutations, my didactic friend.
Excuse me? Hi.
He said hi.
I know what he said.
Does he know what he said? Oh, Mr.
Feeny, I appreciate your sardonic jocularity.
It's his word-a-day calendar.
It took him some time, but he's finally got it down.
Oh, well, Eric, I salute you.
A good vocabulary is an important asset in life.
Well, thank you, Mr.
Feeny.
I'm certain my erudite loquaciousness will be most advantageous, particularly as regards intellectual discourse.
I can see where this is going to get old quick.
Can you? Snap him out of it.
So, Eric, have you perused the tastefully lascivious Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue? Tushies for sale! Cool! You're a good teacher, Mr.
Feeny.
Yeah, well, when you live next door to a house full of psychos