Charmed s05e21 Episode Script

Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.
It's all right.
I'm just glad you're still here.
You didn't think I would be? Well, you're a woman of mystery, Paige.
The Celtic Wheel of Being.
Four elements, all balanced, all connected to each other.
How did you know that? Nobody knows that.
I just read a lot about different things, sometimes magic things.
Do you ever read about magic things? No, I just got it because I thought it would look cool.
I'm joking.
I'm kidding.
Come on.
Let the voice mail get it.
Oh, it's my sister.
Hello? I found a way to vanquish the leader of the Creepers.
Okay, not a good time.
Sorry, but the potion's already been made.
Strike while the iron's hot.
No can do.
Look, we take him out, we take out his entire clan, which means there's no demons left out there - to threaten the Wiccanning.
- Timing bad.
What part of that don't you understand? Okay, fine.
If you don't want your nephew to be blessed by his ancestors and you don't mind him falling prey to evil - All right, all right.
- Is there a problem? Always.
- What, are you leaving? - No, I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.
Promise.
- All right, let's get it over with.
- Oh.
Sorry.
Yeah, me too.
What do you got? You summon, I will vanquish.
Demons who dwell In slivers oF night Uncloak your shadows To witches' sight Creepers, check.
- We done here? - Yes.
Sleaze away.
- Yeah, well, at least I get some.
- Yeah, yeah.
Paige? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.
You didn't hear me? You don't have to hide in here.
I know what you're doing.
- You do? - Yeah.
You smoke.
Okay, so we have Wood Mist, which is kind of natural and earthy, or Rouge Sensation, which definitely has that More of that, you know, "va-va-va-voom" feel.
You're a guy.
What do you think Jason will like more, huh? We got this one or this one.
Okay, Rouge Sensation it is.
Very good.
You are so cute.
Yes, you are.
Your grandmother is just gonna eat you up when she meets you.
But no spitting up and none of that toxic poop that you like to do, because she hasn't been around babies since she was alive, okay? Piper is gonna freak if Wyatt's not down in his Sunday best in, like, five.
- Hi.
- I know, I got a little sidetracked.
Hey, what's with the come-hither makeup? Jason called from his corporate jet, and I'm gonna meet him at the airport.
- Oh, he's back from Hong Kong.
- Yeah, just for the day.
International booty call.
Most impressive.
Hey, there's a minor in the room, Paige.
Sorry.
But you know what will be good? Piper and I don't have to see you moping around the house anymore.
I was not mopey.
You are too mopey.
Okay, that's just because I missed him, and I didn't expect to miss him as much as I did.
I'm just curious.
Has anyone ever tried the truth spell that's in the Book? Yes, and don't.
- Don't what? - Don't try it, especially not on Nate.
I wasn't going to.
Be good.
Okay, fine, so maybe I was.
But how else am I supposed to find out if he can handle the big, dark secret? Don't you think it's a little early in the relationship to start thinking that? No, I don't think so.
He's the first guy I've really liked since Glen and I actually think he might be able to handle my being a witch.
Really? How do you know? I know this sounds insane, but he's got this kind of cool, mystical Celtic tattoo, and he actually knows what it means.
You could be on the cover of GQ, you're so handsome.
I don't think it would really hurt anything if I did the spell, because, you know, it does wear off after 24 hours, and he'd forget everything anyway.
What's the harm? It could hurt a lot.
You never know what you'll get when you cast that.
I know what I'll get if I don't.
I'm gonna have to dump him.
It's not gonna work otherwise.
- Come on, hurry up! - Okay, we're coming! So you think the green outfit is cute? Because I can have them put him in the one with the clouds on it.
It's her great-grandson.
I don't think she's gonna care what he's wearing.
She's not coming as a great-grandmother.
She's coming in an official capacity as the matriarch of our family.
Well, she's not gonna come at all unless we summon her.
Okay.
Hear these words, hear my cry Spirit From the other side Come to me, I summon thee Cross now the great divide Well, it's about time, Piper.
What took you so long? Hello to you too, Grams.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm just so excited.
- How are you, my dear? - Excited too.
- Hi, Grams.
- Leo.
So where's the little one? Right behind you.
Grams, meet the next generation of Halliwells.
- Baby Wyatt.
- Wyatt? That's a silly name for a girl, isn't it? Grams, it's a boy.
- Look at the outfit.
- What? You didn't know? Well, no.
I mean, I just assumed it was a - What went wrong? - Wrong? Well, I don't mean "wrong" wrong, it's just that we've always had girls.
Well, now we have a boy.
Right, well Okay, well, we've got a lot of work to do before I perform the Wiccanning.
- Work? What work? - Are you kidding? I'm gonna be calling every matriarch in our family since the witch trials.
We've got to make sure the manor is safe.
Oh, we've got that covered.
Every demon that could attack their spirits has been taken out.
- The zombies, the rigors - Creepers.
- We're all set.
- What about the Necromancer? - Who? - Okay, you guys discuss this, I have to pop by the airport and pick up my friend Jason.
- Who's Jason? - A guy, Grams.
Don't start the Wiccanning without me.
Be right back.
Actually, I have to check on my man too.
You know, they'd be better off with a dog.
More loyal and they die sooner.
- Excuse me? - Oh, don't mind me.
I never had very much luck with men.
You've been married four times.
Exactly.
So can we get back to this Necromancer? Yes, we should, and fast.
The last time he attacked was during your mother's Wiccanning, and we can't take any chance on that happening again.
So chop, chop.
Now you know why we don't summon her more often.
Yeah.
You've got to be kidding.
Don't judge it by its size, sir.
She's not just any fairy, she's a queen.
I don't know.
Hardly seems worth the trouble.
You forgot to put holes in the lid.
No, actually, I didn't.
Go for it, sir.
Well, that won't sustain me for long.
Okay, well, what, maybe I should get you an ogre? Or maybe I should just devour you.
But, sir, you need me, remember? A century ago I didn't need anyone.
I was a powerful demon.
A ruler.
Alive! I grow weary of it all.
Scrounging around for magical spirits just to get a taste of life.
Actually, I do all the scrounging.
I wanna live again, do you understand? I wanna be resurrected.
I will be resurrected.
I am so glad you're home.
Well, if leaving means more reunions like this, I'll go away more often.
No, don't go away ever.
I'm afraid I have to.
What do you mean, baby? We just bought an Asian media conglomerate, I gotta go to set it up.
Well, for how long? Six months, maybe longer.
I got you something.
Open it.
It's a dictionary.
Chinese-American.
- Thank you.
- You don't like it? No, I do.
It's just I found out that I'm not gonna see you for the next six months, I was kind of hoping for jewellery or something.
Well, jewellery won't help you get around Hong Kong.
The dictionary will.
What? Come back with me, Phoebe.
That's why I flew out, to see if you'd fly back with me.
It leaves tomorrow morning.
Are you serious? I can't just pick up and leave and move to Hong Kong for the next six months.
- Why not? - Well, for starters, I have a job.
Well, I'm your boss, I'll transfer you.
Okay, and how about my family? My sisters and my new little nephew? You can use the jet whenever you want.
It'll be at your disposal.
I missed you, Phoebe.
- I missed you too.
- Well, I don't wanna miss you again.
Come back with me.
Yeah, what's this gonna cost? For a new thermostat? Come on, you can do better than that.
All right.
Hey, let me call you back, all right? All right.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Nice to see you.
What are you doing way out here? I just I kind of wanted to talk to you.
- Do you have a minute? - Yes, we don't open for another hour.
You wanna have a seat, you want a drink? No.
It's okay.
What's the matter? You all right? Maybe nothing, but there's only one way to find out.
For those who want The truth revealed Open hearts and secrets unsealed From now until it's now again After which the memory ends Did you see that? Okay, here goes nothing.
Nate I'm a witch.
A real witch, with real magical powers, and I just kind of wanted to see if maybe you'd be open to that.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about this.
Behind you.
- How did you do that? - I told you, I'm a witch.
I just kind of wanted to see how you'd feel about it before I went any further into the relationship.
I can see that you don't feel so very good about it.
Let me just get my head around this.
You don't see stuff like this every day.
Maybe you would be okay with it? Yeah.
Hell, yeah.
I mean, but I always sort of thought this stuff was real, you know, I just didn't really know it was really real, you know? My God, my wife is gonna love this.
- Excuse me? - Did I just say "wife"? You're married? You never told me you were married.
Yeah, and I didn't tell you I had children either, but Did I just say kids too? See, I was right.
You vanquished this demon 60 years ago.
The Necromancer is not a demon, he's the ghost of a demon.
And it wasn't a vanquish, I banished him back into the spirit realm.
Well, then you should be a little more specific in your wording.
The point is, he's had about 70 years to find a way out of the spirit realm.
And that man, that That demon is nothing if not confident.
I guess I'll take your word for it, considering you seem to know so much about him.
"Enjoys Clark Gable movies"? "Favourite dinner, lamb chops with mint jelly.
" Well, I mean, you never know what will be useful.
So, what do you suggest, that I go to the video store and you get cooking? Don't be so literal.
I was just trying to show how much he craves life, the sensuousness of it.
Food, drink, sex Don't! I don't wanna hear about a dead demon doing the dirty.
He wants to be resurrected.
It says that he has dominion over the dead.
You would think that would be enough.
Not for him it isn't.
He only uses his power over the dead to absorb their spirit and get a temporary fix of life.
But he was always searching for magical spirits with enough power to resurrect himself for good.
Like all the spirits of the Halliwell matriarchs.
That's why he attacked at your mother's Wiccanning.
Now you see why I'm so worried.
Okay, so if he's out, we'll send him packing back to the spirit realm, because nothing is gonna get in the way of Wyatt's Wiccanning.
Good.
And I know just the potion to use on him too.
Let's see, we'll need some dragonroot, eelskin, blood wort You know, Piper, I'm still surprised that you had a boy.
- Well, fifty-fifty chance.
- Not in our family.
Three hundred years and not a male in the bunch.
I guess our family's changing.
Well, I mean, it just begs a few questions, don't you think? I mean, we've never had a male witch.
And, you know, men are just so They're just evil, that's what they are.
They are just plain evil.
Oh, I take it Nate wasn't too happy about you being a witch.
Nate was fine with it.
It's maybe his wife that would've had a problem.
- He's married? - Yeah, with two kids.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
I told you she should've gotten a dog.
What did you do when you found out? Plenty.
I mean, I'm sure plenty will happen to him, karmically speaking.
The cheat.
Well there's no wrath like a witch scorned, I always say.
Care to take it out on him? What measly crumbs have you brought me this time? Nothing you're gonna like.
- Penny! - Penny? What are you waiting for? Throw the damn potion.
What? Wait, so he called her by her name? Penny.
Yeah.
Kind of weird, huh? Yeah, and he acted like he liked her.
- That's Chinese for "excuse me.
" - Fascinating.
- Did you guys vanquish him? - He's dead, he can't be vanquished.
But we did send his sorry male ass back to the spirit realm.
Okay, let's not jump on Grams' male-bashing bandwagon, please.
Grams is a wise woman.
I'll be sure to let Wyatt know.
Don't worry, we're not gonna let him grow up to be a slime bag.
Great, so let's focus on blessing him in light and goodness.
Okay, we don't got a lot of time.
Now, white or patent leather? That's "white.
" Okay, what is with the Chinese thing? It's a little souvenir that Jason brought me back from China when he was there on his business trip.
Business trip.
Yeah, business trip.
A likely story.
- What is that supposed to mean? - I'm just saying.
He could be leading a double life.
He could be married, he could have a mistress, he could be gay.
You don't know.
There are many variables.
- Or he could just be perfect for me.
- Don't be so sure.
Men are full of surprises, that's all.
Funny you should mention surprises, because he had a little surprise for me.
Paige? Darryl's on the phone.
He's pissed.
Something about your boyfriend? He's not my boyfriend, he's my ex-boyfriend.
What are you doing with Wyatt? Grams was gonna spend time with him.
- Well, she didn't want to.
- What? That's ridiculous.
Really? Then why didn't she want to touch him, change him or feed him? Well, she's probably just resting before the ceremony.
She said she would do it as soon as we get rid of the Necromancer.
This has nothing to do with the Necromancer, and you know it.
Grams doesn't like that Wyatt's a boy, and she makes no bones about it.
- Am I really back? - Yes.
And I summoned you in record time too.
Bet Penny didn't count on that.
She can't fool me.
She's a spirit too.
I can tell.
- Who's Penny? - Penny Halliwell.
The witch who stole my heart.
You should have seen her.
The glint in her eye.
The way she held up her hand and sent me hurtling into that wall.
Didn't hurt as much as the potion did, though.
I could tell she made it herself.
The flames were excruciating.
She was furious with me.
Which can only mean one thing.
She still feels the passion, the heat.
You sure that wasn't the fire? If only I knew why she came back here.
Why leave a cosy eternity up there? It could have to do with the new baby.
Baby? What baby? It's the talk of the underworld.
One of the Charmed Ones had a kid.
It's a powerful one too, one we're not to mess with.
That's it! She's here for the Wiccanning.
I'll need you to get me a troll.
No, better yet, an elf.
I'm gonna need all my energy if I'm gonna take on Penny Halliwell.
- Grams? - Oh, Piper, you scared me.
I didn't know you could scare a ghost.
- We need to talk.
- About? I think you know what about.
Leo seems to think you don't wanna be around Wyatt for some reason, and I'm beginning to wonder myself.
This is all my fault.
I mean, maybe if I'd lived longer, had been around longer, maybe things would've worked out the way they were supposed to.
What are you talking about? This.
Wyatt.
Oh, you mean because he's not a girl? Piper, you know as well as I do that the Charmed line is supposed to be led by women, - not men.
- Who says? Tradition says.
Destiny says.
Tell me that you didn't hope to have a little girl, expect to have a little girl, just like you foresaw.
Well, of course, but so what? "So what" is something went wrong, terribly wrong.
This is not the baby you were meant to have.
Grams.
You saw it when you went to the future.
The future where Prue was still alive and witches were burned at the stake.
- Things change.
- Not this.
It's just that I'm worried about the family, you know.
We don't know what to expect.
I know.
That's why we shouldn't treat him any differently because he's a boy.
That's why we're going to do the ceremony.
At the very least, he deserves that.
I'm sorry, Piper.
I can't.
Come on, this is outrageous.
I'll sue you for false imprisonment.
When I get out, I'm gonna tell everybody about you, you witch.
For your information, spells can do more than just make you tell the truth.
Something you might wanna think about.
Are you out of your mind? You can't orb in here and think that's gonna fly.
- Because it's not.
- Why not? - Do you know what he did? - I don't care what he did.
Get him out of here, now.
Listen to the doughnut hog.
What? Men.
Do you know how much trouble I'm in? The man's got constitutional rights.
Oh, constitution, shmonstitution, Darryl.
Look, he's a jerk, fine.
But cheating is immoral, it's not illegal.
All right, I understand that.
And I can't deny that I'm taking some sort of personal pleasure from this, because I am.
But that's not the main thing that's happening here.
I cast a truth spell.
- Oh, no.
- It's just a little one.
But it's a good thing I did.
Otherwise I wouldn't know what a jerk he is.
- This is so not my problem.
- Actually, it is.
Because if he goes out, he's gonna be telling people that I'm a witch, and also about my special friend, the cop who helps the witch.
What am I supposed to do, keep him in here indefinitely? No, not indefinitely.
Just, like, the next 20 hours or so.
What am I supposed to tell the other cops if they hear him? Just tell them he's insane.
You are crazy.
This isn't about him or our legacy.
- This is about you.
- Piper, you don't understand.
That you don't want to perform a blessing on my son? You are damn right I do not understand.
You see him as an innocent little boy.
But he won't be like that, not for long.
So you can't even hold him because someday, some very far-away day, he will become a man? Men cannot be trusted with magic.
They can't handle it.
They're weak.
- And evil will eventually win out.
- That is silly.
Look at Leo! Oh, well, Leo.
I mean, he's an angel.
You can't count Leo.
Hey, what's going on here? Your grandmother hates her grandson, that's what's going on.
That is not true.
Oh, I'm sorry, you just hate men, is that correct? No, I don't trust men.
There's a difference.
And there is a reason that they don't last long in this family.
They're always trying to take advantage of what we have.
- That's not true.
- Isn't it? Look what Cole put you through.
Look what your father did to your mother.
We're supposed to give up on trying to find love because we might get hurt? Oh, no, you will get hurt.
- That's our legacy too, unfortunately.
- You know what, forget it.
You couldn't bless my son with any kind of goodness because you are too consumed by your bitterness.
- Piper.
- And since his father is an angel, we will take our chances without a Wiccanning! Leave them alone.
- Surprise.
- Piper! Well, let's face it.
Grams would not be in this position if she hadn't sent us after the guy in the first place.
Not helpful.
We have to summon her back here, fast.
We can't.
The Necromancer will follow, and you don't have a way to stop him.
How did he get a clean shot at her? Weren't you guys with her? - We were fighting with her.
- Fighting? About what? Later.
Let's just focus on the vanquishing and the saving.
Yeah, but I don't know how to.
It's not like we could even vanquish him, he's a ghost.
Well, ghosts can still feel pain.
Maybe I could just orb his testicles somewhere.
Paige, there will be no talk of testicle-orbing in front of the child.
And not around his daddy either.
Oh, criminy, I'm just trying to help.
Okay, there's got to be a weakness in here somewhere.
I mean, he must have a weakness, right? Well, do mint jelly and Clark Gable movies count? She wrote it.
Oh, my God.
That's why she's so obsessed with him.
Grams was the Necromancer's lover.
- That's disgusting.
- Oh, no, I think you're right.
That would explain everything.
Grams was alive when she banished the Necromancer, right? - Right.
- Okay, so now she's dead.
- You sound so happy about that.
- No, that's not what she means.
The ghost-vanquishing spell.
- You gotta be dead to use it, right? - It's worth a shot.
Your spirit is strong, Penny.
Almost strong enough to sustain us both.
Almost.
Awaken.
No need to worry, Penny.
You're safe here.
You're well aware of my powers, Penny.
I covet your spirit, and any spirit I covet, I control.
You son of a Of course you know, the more you fight me, the more I know that you still love me.
Are you crazy? I hate you.
Yes.
But you only hate me because you once loved me.
After all, we only hate those who have gotten close to us, don't we? Those who've gotten close enough to touch our hearts.
You used me.
You preyed on my affections just to get to my family.
And for that I am truly, truly sorry.
I was just trying to survive.
I never intended to fall in love with you either.
What do you want, Armand? What I wanted then.
Life, with you! Think about it.
Think about it, Penny.
There's enough magic in the Halliwell line to resurrect us both! To give us a second chance together.
All you have to do is to call up the spirits of the matriarchs.
I'll do the rest.
No, no.
You will never make me do that.
I can if I have to.
I'll tell my granddaughters, they will destroy you Oh, you haven't changed one bit.
Isn't that why you loved me? Because I was dangerous? Exciting? Why your heart beats a little faster when I'm near you? Or when I do this? You still love me, Penny.
You know it and I know it.
And you're going to help us both to live again forever.
As soon as we summon her, we gotta get her straight to the Book, because the Necromancer is gonna be right behind her.
All over it.
All right, let's do this.
- Who is that? - It's Jason.
Guys really do have bad timing, don't they? - Yeah, I kind of owe him an answer.
- Answer to what? He asked me to go back to Hong Kong with him.
To live.
I'll be right back.
- Now is not really a good time.
- I need to talk to her.
- I don't have much time.
- It's okay, Leo.
- What about? - Don't worry about it.
Come in.
Come in.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Listen, Phoebe, I've been thinking.
- Yeah, me too.
I shouldn't have asked you to come with me like that.
- You shouldn't have? - It's not that I don't want you to, I do.
I just I think I sort of blind-sided you with it and I feel bad about it.
- Jason - And it was unfair of me to spring it on you like that, knowing how close you are to your family.
That's really sweet I don't wanna pressure you into deciding.
And I wanted you to know that if - you need more time to think about it - I don't.
- You don't? - No, I don't.
I do love my family, and I don't wanna leave them.
But I think if I don't, at least for a little while, then I'm gonna wind up like my grandmother, and I don't want that.
- I don't think I understand.
- You don't have to understand.
What time does the plane leave? - Ten.
In the morning.
- I'll be there.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Okay.
- Okay.
- All right, so - Okay.
- All right.
Go on, go on.
Well? How do you guys feel about intercontinental orbing? We'll talk about that later.
Read.
Hear these words, hear my cry Spirit From the other side Come to me, I summon thee, Cross now the great divide They're calling you, my love.
Don't.
Don't try to fight it.
You have no choice but to do as I wish.
Welcome back, Grams.
- Girls - No time for apologies.
Come on, come on.
This way, this way, this way.
That is a spell to vanquish a ghost.
But only a ghost can read it.
- And that's you.
- You shouldn't have done this.
Oh, come on, Grams, we're not that mad.
You will be.
Grams, he's gonna be here any second.
I know, I know.
It's just that I don't think that - Are you all right? - Yes.
I never meant to hurt you.
Or Wyatt.
Right.
Okay, we kind of need to focus on the demon at hand here, okay? Incoming! - Now, Grams! - Grams, read the spell.
Don't bother.
She's with me now.
It's time, dear.
Piper, blow him up or something.
The ghost? You want me to blow up the ghost? He's already dead.
I call Forth From space and time Matriarchs From the Halliwell line Paige, the truth spell.
Use it on Grams.
For those who want The truth revealed Open hearts and secrets unsealed From now until it's now again After which the memory ends.
Penny, finish the spell.
Grams? Tell him how you really feel about him.
Tell him the truth.
I love you.
Any other bright ideas? And now I know that you didn't just use me, that you really did love me too.
I still do.
I know.
But the truth is that our love isn't nearly as powerful as the love I have for my family.
Ashes to ashes, spirit to spirit Take his soul Penny, what are you doing? Banish this evil Penny.
I am so sorry.
I never realized how much my anger, my bitterness, affected my life.
Or yours.
But I'm most sorry for what I did to my great-grandson and you.
And if ever I wanted a second chance, it would be with him and you.
Don't make the same mistake I did.
Don't ever give up on love.
Paige, you gotta let me out of here sometime.
You can't keep me in here forever.
Don't worry.
When the spell wears off you won't remember a single thing.
Although I've got a couple of things I'd like to say to you before it does.
Say it fast, will you? You know, Paige, I've been thinking.
I've been in here a long time, and I realize what I did to you was really wrong.
I hope you're buying this.
You know, I thought you would have a problem with magic, I didn't think you would be a problem on a basic human level.
I was gonna tell you about Morgan and the kids at some point.
No, I wasn't.
For what it's worth, Nate, I don't hate you.
You're just too pathetic.
It doesn't matter anyway, it's gonna be over in, like, a second.
What happened? Why am I in jail? I don't know, why don't you ask your wife? - What's so funny? - You'll never know.
A little friendly advice: Don't ask any questions, don't call Paige, and walk away as fast as you can.
Is that a threat? Actually, Nate, it is.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Dean, if we don't leave very soon, you'll miss your meeting.
I know, I know.
- Jason! - Phoebe! Wow, you're cutting it pretty close, aren't you? Where are your bags? - Jason - You're not coming, are you? No, I'm not.
I want to.
More than you know.
Well, then why don't you? It's hard to explain.
I just feel like, for now at least, that my place is here, you know? That this is where I need to be.
Not forever.
I mean, God, I hope not forever.
Just for now.
I guess I should've gotten you jewellery after all.
Hurry back.
I think he looks a little like your grandfather.
Oh, trust me, that's a good thing.
- He was a good man.
- Nice to know.
Shall we? I call Forth From space and time Matriarchs From the Halliwell line Mothers, daughters, sisters, Friends Our Family spirit without end To gather now in this sacred place And help us bring this child to grace The next generation has been born into our family.
Our legacy.
We pledge to be with this child, this beautiful boy, always.
Apart but never separate, free but never alone.
He is one of us, and because of that, we will bless him with all the goodness that we are.
Welcome to the family, Wyatt Matthew Halliwell.
- Blessed be.
- Blessed be.
- Blessed be.
- Blessed be.
Take good care of my great-grandson.