Dawson's Creek s05e21 Episode Script

- You're still studying? - You sound surprised.
- Well, it's just- - It's just that you half-expected to see me on the ground with a beer bong dangling out of my throat.
Forgive the momentary lack of faith but you were recently seen attempting flight.
There's nothing like getting pulled out of a swimming pool to make a guy change his ways.
Your recent exploits at spring break do qualify you for official rock bottom.
Yeah.
And now all I have to do is learn a semester of advanced multivariable calculus in the next 18 hours so that I can pass this exam, stay in school and have back that elusive entity we call a life.
I'm gonna be at work so you're welcome to stay here and study as long as you like.
No.
Thanks, but I think it's okay to get back to Grams'.
She and Mr.
Smalls have to be done practicing choir by now.
You don't really believe they asked you to leave so they could rehearse "Jesus Loves Me" in private? Please, just don't try and take that myth away from me, all right? There are some things we don't need to know about.
See you.
Does being propositioned by your boss count as one of those things? Your boss? Boss that fired Audrey? Boss that kissed me directly after I asked her to give Audrey her job back.
- That's sexual harassment.
- Strangely, I think Audrey would concentrate more on the sexual than the harassment.
- So you shouldn't tell her.
- But since honesty is the cornerstone of a relationship and she kissed her ex-boyfriend and told me.
But you weren't fooling around with an old flame here, okay? - You got kissed against your will.
- This is true.
Will this woman's develop - a conscience and tell Audrey? - No.
- Will it happen again? - No.
- I don't see any reason to tell.
- I'd feel much less guilty.
Why? You didn't do anything.
She's hot.
Right? Come on, Pace.
Fess up.
She's a total hottie, right? I don't see how that's relevant.
I'm a victim.
- A victim of unwanted sexual advances.
- Pace- Okay, perhaps not entirely unwanted.
So how hot is she? Why don't you ask her? Hi.
I'm Alex.
Hi.
I'm I'm J- Jack.
You, my friend, are in trouble.
I'm really flattered, Alex but didn't anybody ever tell you no means no? Look, Pacey, I didn't come here to jump your bones.
- You didn't? - No.
I came here to apologize.
I hope you accept this.
I'm really sorry about coming on to you the other night.
It was a terrible thing to do.
Well, somehow I've managed to survive.
I got out of a doomed relationship before I moved here and I haven't made a lot of friends yet and I was just feeling kind of lonely.
Obviously I completely misjudged that situation.
So I feel like a fool.
Well, it's nothing worth beating yourself up over.
No, I- It's just so embarrassing.
I mean, this is exactly why I'm still single.
Why, because you kiss the help? No.
Because I take getting what I want for granted.
Like you have a girlfriend.
I respect that.
As a matter of fact, I'm hoping she'll come back to work with us.
- Do you think that she might? - I could certainly talk to her.
Great.
And, listen no matter how cute you are in your uniform I promise, from now on complete professionalism.
- Deal? - Yeah.
I think I can work under those conditions.
Wow.
This is a really nice place you've got here.
I mean, I must be seriously overpaying you.
No.
It's Brecher's old apartment.
I'm squatting here until they find a new tenant.
I've been looking for a place.
Hey, maybe I'll grab it and let you live here for a little while rent-free.
We could work something out.
Work something out? Oh, lighten up, Pacey.
I'm talking about the apartment.
Of course.
Oh, sorry.
- You're laughing again.
- Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
It's so hard to believe the same man who gave us Spinal Tap - gave us The Story of Us.
- You know, this is so unfair.
I spend my night preparing for finals while you watch movies.
I have finals.
I'm under pressure.
I've got five movies to get through.
Sounds better than a macroeconomic textbook and medieval literature.
One of the movies is playing.
Take a break? Oh, I can't, Dawson.
I have major catch-up to do tonight.
That's what happens when you get a life.
I remember getting straight A's then there was this singing incident in a bar, and here I am behind in my reading assignments.
Second thoughts about this new life? Yeah.
I'm never going to take a class where they make you read Beowulf.
Right.
Dawson- I'm grateful for your company and glad you wanted to hang out and study- - Yeah? - You think you could do it quietly? Yeah.
No problem.
I think I'm just gonna go catch that movie now.
Good idea.
I'm pulling out the big guns tonight, Jack.
Ginkgo biloba.
Stimulates the memory, improves mental acuity.
I'm gonna need a lot more than herbal tea to learn this stuff.
Well, natural ginkgolides and faith, a powerful combination.
Sorry, Grams, but I am way beyond blind, can-do enthusiasm at this point.
I'm now deep into fear and panic.
Well, now, you've managed to adequately prepare for all your other examinations.
I'm quite certain you can do the same for this one.
I could fudge my way through the English lit essays.
" Intro to Archaeology," it's multiple choice.
But this stuff, multivariable calculus you either know it or you don't, and I don't.
Perhaps you should enlist some help from one of your classmates.
Perhaps I don't know my classmates.
Perhaps I haven't even been to class.
Perhaps that's why I don't have the notes to understand the textbooks.
Oh, dear boy, I know it seems all hope is lost, but remember- I love you, Grams.
But please don't launch into a speech about Daniel in the lion's den now.
Little David and Goliath? Need some new material, eh? Yeah.
You do.
- Can I have the ginkgi? - Yeah.
To hell with herbal tea.
You need coffee and a lot of it.
Now hit those books.
One way or another, we're gonna get you through this.
Of all the movie joints in all the towns in all the world- Sex, Lies and Videotape is 14 years old.
Late for your review.
- I'm not here for work.
- Pleasure? - No.
A date.
- Not one and the same? - Not so much.
- Where is he? Probably still in Storytelling with the rest of the freaks.
Let's get out of here before he comes out.
- Seen it? - Storytelling? No interest.
So you just went and saw a different movie? I left him in there, actually.
What kind of a man sucks a Jordan almond? You walked out on a date because you didn't like how the guy ate his candy? You didn't hear the noise he was making.
Oh, and when we parked, car cover.
Has anybody told you you're a critical person? Thank you.
We all have our gifts.
Some of us have figured out how to scam a living out of them.
I was well aware of how you make a living.
Let's see.
How was it? " Despite a truly inspired ending which should garner him some attention Mr.
Leery's first effort is, at times, imitative derivative and full of unexplored potential.
" That's not a slam.
You didn't expect me to go easy because we kissed? - Surprised you didn't critique the kiss.
- Who says I didn't? I like your work, Dawson, more than you know.
What about you? Tested the dating waters of insanity? No, no.
I'm just here studying for finals doing research on a paper for first-time directors.
Smart boy.
Wanna see one of my favourite films by a new director? - Now? - Sure.
It's too early to go to bed.
We could go back to my place.
How do you know I'm not a Jordan almond sucker? Oh, I know.
Anyway, all I keep at my house are Junior Mints.
- In the freezer? - Where else? So she wants me to come back? I said I'd get you your job back.
Can I deliver or what? She just changed her mind? Alex came to me and told me to tell you that you have your job back.
She's not the wench that you think she is.
I know exactly who she is, and she knows exactly who I am.
Women speak a shorthand with each other.
Not to knock the estrogenic Morse code but you might've misjudged her.
Oh, have I? What reason did she give for suddenly changing her mind? - Does it really matter? - Humour me.
- Because she was being nice.
- Why? - Because she's a nice person.
- Bull! And because I asked her, okay? Oh, okay.
So she was being nice to you.
What do you care? You got your job back.
If you could put on your uniform then we could resume our usual inappropriate work banter.
- I think she wants you.
- Come on.
I have seen the way she looks at you.
She would only be nice if it served her.
Alex said she realized what a wonderful waitress you are and didn't want the restaurant to lose you.
- Has she hit on you? - No! I am a terrible waitress.
You've been getting much better lately.
I would've been out day one if it wasn't for my boobs.
- Don't sell yourself short- - Did she hit on you? No.
You're being ridiculous.
- Your pulse jumped.
- I'm nervous.
Your pulse is racing.
You are afraid.
You have your fingers to my jugular.
I'm afraid of dying! I'm willing to bend the rules on interoffice relationships but could you try to keep it private? I think we can probably do that.
Right, honey? Sure.
I'm so glad to have you back.
You're a vital part of our serving team.
Thanks.
- You see? - Completely.
Having me back is the last thing she wants.
Then why would she say it? She knows there is no way in hell I ever would.
What is it that I'm missing here, Audrey? Everything! God, I am quitting! I like your place.
Very Bridget Jones meets film geek.
Some girls collect shoes.
I pretty much keep Amazon in business.
I've been that way since I was a kid.
Now here is a truly great film.
Traffic? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, Soderbergh finally found his voice.
You prefer a long, self-important Hollywood movie over a unique, independent first film? Sex, Lies and Videotape is a throwback to all those old classics where all people do is talk.
When anything takes place you wanna see he has the camera cut away.
It takes a while for young filmmakers - to figure out what they wanna say.
- That's a broad generalization.
Name a truly original movie by a first-time director.
Reservoir Dogs, Les Mistons, Strictly Ballroom Diner, The Maltese Falcon Body Heat, Clerks, Ordinary People, Say Anything- - What? What are you looking at? - You! I've been engulfed in my studies.
Don't tell me, the thesis for your final paper "Soderbergh's first film shows us how subtly provocative the movies can be.
That just talk can be an erogenous zone.
" You don't agree? I suppose it depends who you're talking to.
I thought we were gonna watch the movie.
You know what? Change of plan.
Wow.
That happened.
Yeah, it did.
I just realized something.
People asking each other how it was afterwards comes from movies.
Sure.
It's an expositional device needed because of the cutaway.
There's no cutaway in real life.
No audience to spoon-feed something they weren't allowed to see.
I like that.
Me too.
" The Marjorie Game.
Directed by Amy Lloyd in completion of the BFA of filmmaking.
" - Give me that.
- What? - You were a filmmaking major? - Amazing.
I had you pegged as a critical studies major.
You learn something new every day.
We're popping this in the VCR.
- No, no.
- Come on.
I showed you mine.
No way.
Dawson, I'm serious.
I can see that.
Boys suck.
So does taking classes over in summer school.
But you are my roommate and I am legally required to be here for you, so do tell.
In precisely what way doth the male suckage occur? - What? - Beowulf overdose.
I think he could be cheating on me.
- Who? - Carlos, the dorm security guard.
Who do you think? Pacey.
Pacey doesn't cheat.
Oh, yeah? Get this.
So he asks Mrs.
Robinson to give me my job back.
And she agrees.
So you deduce that he's having an affair? She's the affair type.
Those Donna Karan business suits don't fool me.
She is a femme fatale with an MBA in " how to take your man.
" If she wants him, why would she keep you around? To keep him happy.
To keep him off-guard.
It's all part of her crafty plan.
Have you heard, " Keep your enemies close"? Have you heard, "You need to be medicated"? He is covering something.
I know he is, okay? I don't know exactly what.
But I can tell he's keeping something from me.
Maybe it's a family thing or he's having a problem with someone he's supervising.
Not everything is about you, Audrey.
Well, most everything is.
Okay, well, maybe he's planning a surprise for you or getting you a present.
I do have a birthday coming up.
Okay.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe he's just planning a surprise or something.
- There you go.
- Earrings would be nice.
You know, like hoops? Rhinestone.
Turquoise! Match my ring.
- Don't you have finals to study for? - Those are coming up soon, right? - Audrey! - I just do that to annoy you.
You're so cute when you worry about me, bunny.
Books.
Getting them.
And now, it's Witter time.
- Good night.
- Right back at you.
Are you gonna be here for a while? - Sorry? - It's getting kind of late, you know? Oh, I have to get all this work finished and sent out to management by tomorrow.
- Thank God I'm a night owl.
- Well, aren't we all? If you're gonna be here, there's stuff- Oh, no, no.
Go home.
Go be with your Audrey.
- You're sure you'll be all right? - I'm a big girl, Pacey.
So I noticed.
I'm staying in a place around the corner.
When I'm finished, I'm just gonna walk there.
This seems like a hip, artsy neighbourhood during the day.
It's not the same at night.
Maybe you should go now.
I can take care of myself.
Us girls are stronger than you think.
Which is exactly what my friend Joey said right before she met up with a 9 mm just down the street.
Well, I can't leave right now.
I'd have to carry these books.
But you can leave now.
I'll carry them for you.
You really are a find, aren't you? Yeah.
That's what all the girls say.
Right before they see my socks.
Maybe what you need is a girl who knows how to take care of you.
And maybe you just need to let a guy walk you home.
Who am I to argue with a chivalrous gentleman at this hour? Okay.
Polar Bear? Jack.
What are you doing here? I was hoping you guys could help me out.
You really shouldn't be here, man.
Here's a margarita.
You really gotta get going.
I don't need a drink right now, all right? Jack McPhee turning down alcohol.
If you live long enough, I guess you see everything.
Look, guys, I need to get into the notes and test files for a calculus class.
Notes and tests? Notes and tests.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Come on, Blossom, Sigma has a whole file on old class notes and exams from way back.
What? I- I've never heard of anything like that.
Has anyone here ever heard of anything like that? Must be just a rumour.
Anyways, if something like that were to exist obviously it would be completely off-limits to, well, non-brothers.
I know we've had our differences.
But I'm trying to clean up my act here.
So I'm asking you as someone who used to hang out with you can you do me a favour? Sorry, but there's just really nothing the brotherhood can do for you.
- Later, McPhee.
- You know, if you wanna be a jerk because it's in your nature, fine.
But don't hide behind the bonds of brotherhood.
There's a whole world full of people who actually give a crap about other people as individuals.
Someday, you'll have to stop hiding out at this house and join that world, Blossom.
Get a load of Ernest McPhee.
- You know, you just really need a drink.
- What I need is help.
Yeah.
- Thanks a lot.
- Thanks.
Look at you, all Harrison Ford in Working Girl.
I'd rather be him in Raiders.
- Cuter in the former.
- Cooler in the latter.
That's yours.
So what is it about your movie that you don't want me to see? It's just too personal.
I'll admit that my experience in this area is limited but haven't we already crossed the personal barrier? Okay.
You want the truth? The no-holds-barred, ugly truth? Please.
The movie stinks.
- That's it? - Yeah.
Not in a common way.
I mean, this baby is an extraordinary masterwork of stinkage.
It's amazing we can even tolerate being in the same room with the videotape.
- You're not being hard on yourself? - Oh, no.
Because I've read your reviews.
You can be rather relentless.
I wasn't alone in my particular opinion.
So you just never wanted to make another one? I love movies.
I started faking sick in the third grade so I could stay home and watch them.
I started in the fifth.
I'm a grown-up who gets paid to watch all day.
That sounds great.
But you never answered my question which is, have you ever wanted to make another film? The first one was such a disaster.
Why would I do it again? A girl told me it takes a while for young filmmakers - to figure out what they wanna say.
- So quit my job and use my credit cards to finance a movie now? You wouldn't be the first.
I'm not sure I have the same raw talent that you have, Dawson.
How would you know? Filmmaking was something I loved.
But I was given a chance to do this job.
It turns out that I'm great at it.
That makes me happy.
So I left filmmaking behind and I moved on with my life.
Sometimes you just have to let things go like that.
Sounds very smart and practical.
And a little sad.
A little.
Are you sure those aren't too heavy? What, the Encyclopaedia of Civilization collection? No.
I'll be fine.
Did you know we have letters in there about the foie gras? "Stop the suffering.
" What's wrong with people? I don't know.
There's a lot of crazies in the world.
I guess you never know what you're dealing with.
- This is me.
- So this is it, huh? I heard they have theme rooms in this place.
It's true.
I'm in the Santa Fe suite.
- Me and Theo.
- Theo? He's the bull's head on the wall.
I've named him Theo.
You really need to get your own place.
- You're telling me.
- Yeah.
You should seriously consider taking over my apartment.
Okay.
I will.
If you wanna come look at it again- You could bring Theo for a second opinion if you need him.
- Are you sure about that? - Yeah.
Of course.
Thanks, Pacey.
It's nice to have you as a friend.
Okay, well- I guess I should be going, Alex.
Yeah, I guess so.
- Okay.
Good night.
- Good night, Pacey.
Maybe he's planning a little surprise trip for the two of us.
- Audrey- - You know, like a spa or something.
A massage would be nice.
God, sitting on these chairs is murder on my butt.
Cramming boring, dreary, medieval fairytales and the workings of the Fed is hard enough without hearing a diatribe about your ass.
So unless you wanna visit me at Worcester Trade School go find your boyfriend and drive him crazy.
Finals.
Pressure.
Pup tent with a boy when she should have been studying.
Audrey- - You need to go now.
- I think I'm gonna go see Pacey.
Good idea.
Please tell me you know something about multivariable calculus.
I can honestly say, I've never had a day like this before.
Me neither.
- Can I ask you a question? - You just did.
But feel free to ask another one.
What makes a girl decide to spend the night with a guy she hardly knows? The same things that make a guy want to.
Of course, with girls the deciding factor is usually the shoes.
You decided because of my Skechers? Yeah.
I could tell you were okay.
Safe.
Genuine.
A kindred spirit.
- And Mr.
Car Cover? - Loafers.
- Interesting.
- The problem with your girlfriend was just that she didn't appreciate quality footwear.
Does breaking up bite or what? You know what? It wasn't that bad.
We're still great friends.
- You're friends? - The same as before.
I threw a Cuisinart at my boyfriend when we broke up.
- I'm not so much the appliance-thrower.
- You've never had - any knockdown, dragout fights? - No.
Doesn't sound like there was much there.
What, just because I don't believe in fighting? You are a passionate guy, Mr.
Leery.
The secret is out.
Someday, you are gonna meet someone who drives you absolutely mad who you're gonna fight with and laugh with and do totally insane things for.
Someone who turns your life wildly upside down.
I think I've already met that person.
Really? Why aren't you with her? Bad timing I suppose.
Oh, I had a chance a while back, and I blew it and then she just kind of felt the same you did about your life and moved on.
- How do you know that? - She spent the night with another guy.
- What? - Nothing.
- Well, why are you laughing at me? - It's funny.
You're so convinced that she's moved on, because why? - She was with another guy? - Yeah.
You're spending the night with me.
Does that mean that you've moved on? Oh, Jack, where have you been? The Worthington Library.
It turns out this stuff is even beyond the academic ability of Joey Potter.
If that isn't a sign to throw in the towel, I don't know what is.
- We have been waiting for you.
- We? Hey, man.
What the hell's he doing here? What do you want? Well, I heard you needed some help.
Just a second.
Hey.
I know it's late.
But sitting around in my room made me realize you are completely right.
- About what? - Well, I do need a place of my own.
So I decided to take you up on your offer.
And which offer would that be? To check out your apartment.
Alex, it's nearly 2 in the morning.
But you said you were a night owl like I am and you walked me home an hour ago.
I just figured- What? Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- No.
You know what? It's not okay.
I misjudged this whole thing again.
I'm- I'm just- I'm leaving.
I feel terrible.
There's nothing for you to feel terrible about.
Yes, there is.
Okay? Here you have this life, this great.
wonderful life.
And I keep imposing myself on it.
You are not imposing.
I know that I am.
You're not, okay? It's fine.
Please.
Come in.
Take a look around.
It's fine.
- No.
I couldn't.
- You can.
Let me get you something.
All I have is water and OJ.
I hope that's all right.
What about the champagne? I mean, if you want to.
Sure.
I guess a little champagne between colleagues never hurt.
You know, Pacey Witter, you are such a doll.
I have so much respect for you having the strength not to act on this thing.
- And what thing would that be? - You know the thing.
This heat.
I felt it tonight when you hugged me.
I felt it that time when we kissed.
- Oh, gee! - Shut the door, Pacey.
It'll keep the heat in.
Audrey.
Audrey! Audrey, stop.
Let me explain.
I don't wanna hear your explanations.
- It's clear to me.
- She just dropped by.
And you were trying so hard to get her to leave.
- It is not what it looks like.
- Go back! - Nothing happened! - You kissed her! - She kissed me.
- That makes me feel so much better! - It didn't mean anything! - The hug or the kiss? - Neither.
- It meant your arms around her body.
- It meant her tongue in your throat.
- Well, it was her tongue- - I don't wanna hear this! - Sorry.
Stop.
- Let go of me.
- Just listen to me.
Why should I? You lied to me.
- I didn't think it would happen again.
- You were wrong.
- I didn't want to embarrass her.
- What are you talking about, Pacey? This your boss hitting on you.
If you wanted to stop it, you could have.
And you didn't because you like it.
You are attracted to her and- It's really obvious to me.
If you didn't want her to hit on you, why didn't you quit? Because maybe I need this job.
I'm not exactly rolling in money here.
I can't afford a place to live.
I'm not a rich college girl who can quit when the mood strikes me.
That's cool.
You know what? Screw the girl, keep your job.
Have your cake and eat it too.
It's fine! You're still here.
Well, I thought you might need a friend.
Come and sit.
You realize that she may never talk to me again? I told you, 19 is too young to be settling down.
You're driving me crazy, Alex, you realize that? Can't help it.
I've told you, I take getting what I want for granted.
I thought you said you were trying to change that about yourself.
I believe that people should listen to their urges.
You are a very determined woman, aren't you? Everybody already thinks you did it, Pacey so why don't you just do it? This is great.
Too bad we have to stop.
- We have to what? - Stop.
But what about the heat? Well, just knowing that we could do it, it's enough.
It is? It is.
It would just be inappropriate.
Could you guys get a room? It's a library.
Check this exam out.
It's dated May 10, 1982 and it's graded by my same professor.
Multivariable calculus probably hasn't changed much since then.
Yeah, well, based on these years' notes neither has the way that he's been teaching it.
How did you do this, get all this stuff out of the house? Well, I just put it in my backpack and just walked on out of there.
What about the bylaws? What if somebody finds out? Well, then, I guess I get expelled from the house.
You're willing to risk that? I hear it's possible to leave a fraternity and survive.
Yeah.
I know guys that have done it.
Why are you doing this, Eric? Why are you helping me? Because you helped me.
I wanna give you something before you go.
Your thesis film? If this were the third act of a movie, that's what this would be.
- You'd watch it, it would be great- - I'd give it to a professor who would give it to a student who now runs a studio.
And I'd see my name up on the big screen just a few months later.
I would have liked that.
Seeing my name on the screen just once.
You get to see your name in print a lot.
Yes.
I sure do.
It's What's Up Tiger Lily? - Woody Allen.
- His first.
Do you know it? - No.
- He took this old Japanese movie and he just replaced the dialogue.
It's literally a remake of someone else's picture.
Obviously, it's derivative and imitative and- Full of unexplored potential.
But if you look at it closely, you can see a glimmer of Annie Hall a twinkle of Manhattan and the promise of Hannah.
Thank you.
I'll call you when I'm done, and- It's a gift.
We're both in very different places in our lives, Dawson.
Mine is much more predictable and defined than yours and I think we both know I'm probably not the person you need to be spending your precious time with right now.
I don't think your life is nearly as predictable and defined as you think it is.
Why is that? Would you have predicted a night like this? I would like to keep in touch with you.
Then do.
I'd like that.
Maybe we can catch a movie some time.
Audrey, it's Pacey.
If you're there, could you please pick up the phone? Audrey? Please? Audrey, come on.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How long have you-? How long have you been here? A while.
How was the movie? Fun.
Inspiring.
- Completely unexpected.
- Lucky you.
How's studying? Not good.
I only have a couple of hours left.
Here.
Maybe this will help.
Do you mind if I just sit here a little while? You know, if you need anything, I can- Sure.
Thank you.
Very sweet.
Much needed.
I gotta tell you, Dawson it's like the entire world has been coming at me tonight.
Like, completely distracting me from what I've spent my entire life preparing for.
I mean it's like this night has been a metaphor for the whole semester.
One big left turn.
Not that it's been bad because it hasn't, but it's just if I don't get myself back on track, I could- Dawson? Joey, can I ask you a question? Do you like my shoes? Yeah.
Why? Just wondering.
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