Friends s05e21 Episode Script

I'll get coffee.
Want anything, baby doll? I'm fine.
Thanks.
I can't pull off "baby doll," can l? No, I think we learned that from the "sugar lips" incident.
I'll make some tea.
How you doing, pumpkin? -So it's going well for you two? -I know.
Really well.
I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
What do you think? It's great! When will you ask her? Tonight.
But don't say anything.
I swear.
I promise.
I'm so excited! But listen, do not get her flowers, okay? Because she cries when they die.
Then there's the whole funeral.
-I'll see you after work, sweetie.
-Okay.
Bye.
So, what movie should we see? Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him! What? Really? He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer! I can't believe this.
Right? Because it's fast.
Because it's so fast.
It's fast.
Relax.
It's Phoebe, not you.
Good for you, Phoebe.
Way to go.
No, but it is fast, isn't it? -I like him, but I'm not ready.
-So, what are you gonna do? I don't know.
I'll just handle it.
I'll ask you to talk to him! Me? Why me? Because you are so afraid of commitment.
You talk to him.
Make him scared like you, make him a man.
I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it'd do.
I'm less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
That is so sweet.
Still terrified.
I'll take care of it.
The One With the Ball Hey, Ross, is Staten lsland really an island? That's why they call it Staten "lsland.
" Oh, I thought it was like Long lsland.
Also an island.
-What time is it? -2:17.
We haven't dropped this ball for an hour.
Are you serious? I realized it a half-hour ago, but I didn't say anything.
I didn't wanna jinx it.
We are pretty good at this.
We totally forgot about lunch.
That's the first time I've ever missed a meal.
I think my pants are a little loose.
Hey, you guys.
Is Monica here? I bought something.
I'm not sure she'll like it.
It may seem crazy, but I've wanted this since I was a little girl.
You bought Shaun Cassidy! No.
I wish! Okay, you ready? Check it out.
What is it? What the hell is that? It's a cat.
That is not a cat! Yes, it is! Why is it inside out? Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality sphinx cat.
How much did you pay for that? It was extravagant, but I got a good deal.
-How much? -Thousand bucks.
On a cat? It's not a cat! For a thousand dollars, you'd think at least it'd come with hair.
Or something.
All right.
Listen, ball boys.
My grandma had one when I was little.
It was the sweetest thing.
It would sit in my lap and just purr all day long.
I would drag a string and it would chase it.
Free cats do that too, you know.
It's not a cat! I'm really excited about this, okay? I don't care what you think.
I'm gonna set up a litter box for Mrs.
Whiskerson.
What am I gonna call her? Fluffy? Do you wanna get something to eat, or see how long we can throw this ball? The ball thing.
Wouldn't it be great if we could go for two hours without dropping it? Yeah, it would! Let's do it.
I have to pee.
And Rachel's in the bathroom! Man, I didn't think we'd make it.
I know.
Don't switch hands, okay? Hey, ladies.
What are you in here for? What are you doing here? I am here to report a crime.
It's a crime that we don't spend time together.
What's up? You're thinking about moving in with Phoebe, and I thought we should talk.
You know, man to well, me.
Sure, okay.
Are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be living together.
I considered that.
It'd make me happy.
-You mean scared.
-No, I mean happy.
Scared happy.
What are you doing? I'm trying to open your eyes! If you live with Phoebe, she is always gonna be there.
You get home, she's there.
You go to bed, she's there.
You wake up and, oh, yes, she's there.
I know.
I can't wait! Were your parents happy or something? I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love.
I just want to be around her as much as I can.
When you say it, it doesn't sound so scary.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think I do.
You know what? Move in with her.
Move in right now.
Maybe I'll move in with Monica.
No, it's too soon for you guys.
You're right about that.
When they found the remains of the Mesozoic mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic amphibian in its jaws.
How did it get there? Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.
Hey, guys.
I left my watch here last night.
-lt was here.
Where is it? -I don't know.
I'm late for work.
How do you know? You don't have a watch.
Can you stop throwing the ball for one minute and help me find it? Oh, I don't know.
Yeah, can't do it.
-What? -Do not drop that ball.
We haven't dropped it in.
Two hours, 27 minutes.
Really? I won't make it in to work today.
I don't feel very good.
For a second, I thought I was feeling better, but I'm not.
Hey, Rach.
Check it out.
Almost three hours without dropping it.
Congratulations.
That's quite a waste of time.
You have scratches all over you.
Well, it's my cat.
-Oh, I got a cat.
-I don't want a cat! Don't worry, it's not a cat.
You guys, this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat.
It's not sweet.
It's not cute.
I dragged a string, and it flipped out and scratched the hell out of me.
I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!" Doesn't sound as crazy as paying $1000 for a cat.
You paid $1000 for a cat when you owe me $300? Well, I was gonna let you play with it.
Did you talk to Gary about moving in? I think you should do it.
He's a great guy and he loves you a lot.
You are a very lucky lady.
You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do and you can't even do that right! Sorry.
If he asked me, I'd move in with him.
Get out of here, good-for-nothing.
Hey, Chandler.
Hey, Gar.
Hey, sweetie.
Can I talk to you for a second? You look pretty today.
Thanks.
Okay.
Here's the thing.
I really want this relationship to move forward.
If you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards.
No, if you're not moving forward, you're staying still.
And staying still is good.
Watch this.
I want you to move in with me.
That is so sweet.
But don't you think it's too soon? There's so much we don't know about each other.
Okay.
I get it.
I don't want us to jump into something that we're not ready for.
I don't want to mess up what we have.
I'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
Which is why my answer is yes! Really? You're so happy.
Monica, stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team! You guys have been doing this for four hours? That's right, baby.
-All right.
Let me in.
-No, no! Don't do it! What? He's a dropper.
Oh, yeah.
That's right! I'm not a dropper! It's really a three-person game, you know? It's throwing and catching.
All right.
Oh, it's so hard.
Don't worry, guys.
It's not a cat.
Oh, good God! I give up.
I don't know what I'm gonna do with this thing.
Baking it didn't help? Take it back to where you got it.
I tried.
They won't take her back.
Maybe that's because she's a minion of the Antichrist.
Why won't they take it? They said they would only give me store credit.
What am I gonna do? Get 1000 regular cats? You said it was a show cat.
Why don't you show it, win some prize money.
Those shows cost a hundred bucks to enter, and all you win are these ribbons which technically belong to the damn cat.
You can keep it until you find out what to do with it.
That's not the point.
I'm out $1000 I'm all scratched up and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! Oh, my God! The cat's made my eyes water.
Don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised! Oh, God! Okay.
It's okay.
Man, that was close.
Yeah, you almost overreacted to something.
-We have great news.
-We're moving in together.
Yay! Congratulations.
-I'm so excited! -So am l.
You're not more excited than I am.
No way.
I'm the most excited.
See you at the station later.
I'll see you later.
Don't forget about the moving-in! So you're moving in with him? I couldn't tell him no.
He got so sad.
Maybe it'll be all right.
I do like him a lot and probably do it eventually, anyway.
Plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Do you write him a lot? I heard when people live together they split the cost of stamps, don't they? -Yeah, yeah.
-That's right.
Sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out.
Hey, honey.
Did you find any apartments in Brooklyn Heights? No, nothing.
-Oh, really? -Yeah.
-Nothing at all? -No.
If something opens up, we'll move in.
If it has a pool.
I need a pool.
Can I talk to you? Take a seat.
You okay? You feel all right? I feel great, because we're moving in together.
So you.
You checked the paper for listings in Brooklyn Heights, right? You checked the Post? Yeah, there was nothing.
-Can I get some water? -ln a minute.
You checked today's Post? Yeah, today's.
Because this is today's Post.
And these are the listings I found.
Brooklyn Heights, two bedrooms.
Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom.
Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights! Oh, are these for rent? I thought people were just bragging.
Let me tell you what's going on here.
Don't look at the table.
Look at me.
Somebody asked someone to move in with him.
Someone said yes, but now she has doubts because things are moving too fast.
Does that sound possible? Yes, fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! I'm sorry! It's okay that you feel this way.
It is soon, and there's things we don't know about each other.
Everything I know about you, I really like.
Things I don't know, I'll learn in a place with our names on the mailbox.
That's so sweet.
But if it's too soon for you, we don't have to do it.
I want you to be happy.
Living with you would make me happy.
You don't have to say that.
I want to live with you.
I want to move in with you.
Are you sure? Definitely, yes! Let's live in an apartment we both live in.
Oh, that's great.
Oh, wait, one sec.
Hey, you! Behind the glass.
Who are you looking at? I always wanted to say that every time I was in these rooms, which was never.
Show cat! Quality show cat! -Show cat! -Oh, my God! What's wrong with your baby? That's not a baby.
That's a cat.
-It's creepy-looking.
-Oh, no.
It's actually very sweet.
It's very sweet.
Look.
Yeah.
Do you want it? No, I hate cats.
Then what are you doing to me? Get out of here, all right? Move on! What an unusual cat.
Yes, thank you! Exactly.
You want it? Maybe.
I was thinking about getting a cat from the shelter, but.
-Okay.
Why not? -Oh, terrific! That'll be $2,000.
-What? -Okay, 1000.
Didn't you want me to adopt your cat? I do, but you'll have to look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Okay, yeah.
I just wanted a cat.
Obviously, you know how to haggle, so I won't try and take you on.
So $800, and I don't call the cops, because you are robbing me blind! Blind! Just take the cat.
Leave the money.
Run away! Run away.
Damn it! Can't you at least smile or something? Did anybody just hear that? Anybody? -I'm starving.
-Come on, guys.
Suck it up! We're closing in on 10 hours.
It's gut-check time! I don't know who made you the boss.
We invented this game.
I made this game what it is! Not fun anymore? I'm still hungry.
There's pizza at my place.
We can eat with one hand.
Are you with me? -I am.
-All right, let's go! Come on! Let's go, Team Monica! We can work out the name later.
What is your cat doing in my bowl? I'm defrosting a chicken.
I sold Mrs.
Whiskerson.
Thank God! -Get your money back? -Yeah, $1500.
You made a profit? I just came for the red velvet pillow.
-There you go.
-Thanks, Rachel.
Don't forget, you can come visit her anytime.
Oh, good.
Great.
I'll keep that in mind.
So is this some kind of snake or something? I like waking up with you.
I like waking up with you too.
Oh, it's such a beautiful morning.
I could stay here all day.
That would be great.
-We could have breakfast in bed.
-Wait, just a second.
Oh, no.
All right.
Come on, Monica! Look alive.
Come on! Oh, I was having the best dream.
-What? -I dreamed I was drowning and not throwing this ball.
Oh, good.
You're all up.
It's 6:00 in the morning.
Why aren't you at Gary's? Oh, yeah.
That's over.
Gary's such a great guy.
You can work it out.
-He shot a bird.
-That is over.
-I'm sorry.
-That's terrible.
Are you okay? I'll be all right.
Here, Phoebe.
I don't feel like playing.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It didn't happen.
No one needs to know.
She's not an official ball player.
Only official ball players can drop the ball.
-Come on.
-Let's go.
You wanna get breakfast? Okay, let's race! First one there wins.
You guys wanna eat here? That was great, huh? Can you believe how long we threw it? It is amazing it lasted that long.
My arm is killing me.
No, I meant with the dropper over here.
How did I get this reputation as a dropper? I am anything but a dropper.
Ross!