The Vampire Diaries s05e21 Episode Script
Promised Land
Previously on "The Vampire Diaries" The travelers are about to make their move.
Their leader Markos is here.
One by one, they've taken over towns by putting passengers inside of the townsfolk.
I take it back.
This is creepy.
We think they're doing the same thing in Mystic Falls.
You're passengered into the body of a hybrid, Julian.
They've started the spell to make Julian permanent.
Unh! Enzo's dead.
Aah! Unh! Enzo, I can bring you back.
I'll find a way.
And how do you plan on doing that? Markos found his way back.
It's not impossible.
The other side is falling apart.
And when this place goes, you are going with it.
You asked if there was anything you could do about the other side.
Say good-bye to your friends, Bonnie.
The blood of the final two doppelgangers can undo the witches' curse that prevents us from finding a home.
We can break that curse.
Wakey, wakey.
Mr Sikes, head of corporate accounts.
Oops.
Sorry about that.
Yeah.
Can't have you mumbling any of those annoying traveler ditties.
It's a sure migraine.
So here's the deal.
My brother and my girl have both been kidnapped by travelers, and I can't seem to find them anywhere.
I mean, like, poof, gone, right? So besides a completely clueless hybrid in my basement and a cave full of sleeping travelers, I've got nothing to go on except you, so I'm gonna need you to tell me where I can find your leader Markos.
What's up, blondie? Liv and Luke aren't answering any of my - Oh, my God! Mr.
Sikes? - You know him? Yeah.
He helped me open my first savings account.
He gave me a lollipop.
Well, unfortunately, Mr.
Sikes here is occupied by some low-life traveler.
I saw him and his buddies chanting in the town square last week.
I also know that Markos and your passengered comrades are planning some big flashy spell to undo some super boring ancient witch curse, and where that sucks for us, it just happens to undo all witch magic, I.
E.
kill me and my sexy, blond frenemy here.
If you know where Markos took Stefan and Elena, you need to tell us.
Yep.
Sorry.
You're gonna have to speak up.
Mmm.
Nope, nope.
Didn't catch that either.
I think he's trying to say something to me.
Come here, sweetie pie.
It doesn't matter where Markos is.
Nothing you do can stop him now.
You have enough.
Let me go.
Aah! Unh! Aah! I'll have enough when you can no longer speak.
- Who's there? - Shh.
Get out of here.
Go.
- Stefan.
- Elena.
Seriously? Collect calls are still a thing? Yeah.
Well, you know what could have saved you the cost of this phone call? You finding us.
- How long have we been gone? - 4 days.
and you couldn't track us down? What'd you think, we were having a nice spa getaway? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I've been searching 24/7, ok? Maybe if you'd been a little more perceptive, you wouldn't have gotten yourselves doppelnapped.
Oh.
What the hell was that? Travelers drained us of our blood, so we've had to do a little bit of hunting.
You have Elena participating in squirrel slaughter? Believe me, she's no happier about it than I am.
Heh heh.
She'll shoot your eye out.
Do you want to talk to her, or are you still pretending like you don't want to hear her voice? Don't psychoanalyze me, Stefan.
Where are you? I'll come get you.
I have no idea where we are.
We're in the middle of nowhere.
Listen.
We'll make our way back, but Markos drained most of our blood, and considering the kinds of spells he was able to do - with just a little bit of it - Yeah, I know.
Find Markos, kill Markos, save Mystic Falls from becoming traveler home.
It's gonna be a busy day for me, Stefan.
Time to strap on the hero hair.
I'll get her home safely, all right? Get both yourselves home safely, brother.
I'd hate to have to kick her ass for losing you.
Unh! God.
Forgetting someone? Bonnie! He says you promised you bring him back.
Uh, you're paraphrasing.
He said, quote, I will find a way.
Whatever.
Hello.
Still here, and I know what I said.
Hey.
Remind him he doesn't have a very good track record - for keeping promises.
- Please stop talking.
The other side is on the brink of colapse.
I plan on pestering all of you until I'm safely returned to the land of the living.
You need to fix this before I lose my mind.
Hey.
I'm sorry, ok? I've got two missing doppelgangers, I've got a traveler that wants to rid our town of magic, and I've got the friendly banker Mr.
Sikes in the coat closet, so escape from the netherworld's gonna have to wait until tomorrow.
I think he wants to be penciled in for today.
Then you bring him back.
What? Liv is cooking up a spell to pull you back from the other side before it goes kaboom, so whatever you're doing, just include Enzo in it.
You hear me, Enzo.
Just hitch a ride with her, ok? - See? There delegating.
- I feel better.
That's not a great idea.
You called.
You.
I need you and your Xbox buddy to run an errand for me.
Come on.
Let's go.
Well, what are you waiting for? Ring up your little witchy friend and get her over here.
- Ohh, God.
I feel like an idiot.
- Ditto.
Do that thing again.
The vamp thing.
Oh, no.
I don't want to do that.
Come on.
You know it's embarrassing.
Come on.
It's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now.
Sure.
Ohh.
Hmm.
That was funnier the first time.
Yeah.
Well, you were delirious the first time.
How many, um ahem You know, are we supposed to have before we get our strength back? More than we've had, that's for sure.
Let me know if you see a damn buffalo.
This is depressing.
Yeah.
More depressing than walking for Miles and not knowing where the hell you're going? No, probably not more depressing than that.
Damon is in full hero mode today.
I'm sure he was thrilled about that.
I don't know.
He had the whole savior of the universe voice going on.
I like that voice.
You know, maybe this whole thing's a sign.
A sign of what? My blood can literally destroy him.
If that's not a sign that we're in a toxic relationship Our blood, all right, our blood.
Don't hog the blame.
Look.
We're vampires.
We're a toxic species.
Whether you want to blame it on magic or biology, it's just who we are.
When a human gets ravenously hungry, they eat a double cheeseburger.
We kill people.
Some of us are more extreme than others, but that's just who we are.
How come you're so much better at controlling it? Because I'm so much worse when I don't.
I'm only gonna say this once.
You two are miserable without each other, so if you want to be with him, just be with him.
Look.
When humans want to break free from complicated relationships, they go to therapy.
Vampires get a pass, ok? Come on.
I ordered us waffles.
I figured our last meal wouldn't be complete until we poured liquid sugar all over it.
Mmm.
My ray of sunshine sister.
The coven's pissed, Luke.
You were supposed to hide Stefan and Elena from the travelers, and you practically delivered them on a silver platter.
Ok.
How was I supposed to know that Casper the english ghost would be a complication.
That's not the point.
We were never supposed to let things get this far.
We got sucked into some stupid "let's be friends" trap.
Look.
These people are nice, ok, more than I can say for our screwed up family.
Ohh! - What are you doing? - It's not me.
Like I said, the coven is pissed.
Fine.
I'm listening.
We were supposed to keep the doppelgangers from falling into Markos' hands.
We failed.
We can't let him succeed at taking away our magic.
There's only one move left.
We have to kill Stefan and Elena.
Yeah.
Morning, Sam.
Mrs.
Douglas, special delivery.
- Mailman didn't deliver anything? - Nope.
Just picking up.
I'm going to be late for school.
I've got a million college essays to review.
What's going on, Pam? Something's wrong.
You're different lately.
I think what's wrong is the fact that it's taken you so long to notice that your wife has been colonized by a total stranger.
You think I'm joking? I'm serious.
So am I.
My name's Karl.
I'm a traveler living inside your wife's body while my real body is asleep in a cave under the town.
- What are you talking about? - This isn't my first choice, but I need to borrow something that's expendable.
Pam, you need help.
Tsk.
Unh! This marriage was a disaster anyway.
No hard feelings.
I think I just hallucinated a unicorn.
Hmm.
Maybe Caroline's nearby.
Heh.
If Caroline was here, we'd have a fully catered buffet on the side of the road and a rainbow.
Two rainbows.
That's funny.
Ha! You know, when we were younger, I couldn't decide what was more annoying Her control freakiness or her delusional positivity, but right now honestly, there isn't a single person I wish was here more.
Her control freakiness never really bugged me.
Yeah.
Well, you didn't have to build a Barbie castle with her in the second grade.
That's true.
I do know this.
If Caroline Forbes was here right now, we would both be laughing.
We're so pathetic.
You know what? Let's put on your best Caroline Forbes hats, shall we? All right, universe, enough screwing around.
We're ready for the good stuff.
Theme dance or block party maybe.
- You got to be kidding me.
- What? Oh, my God.
That is so weird.
Oh, no, wait.
See? H oh.
Not what I was expecting.
All right.
Let's cut to the chase.
You're giving us a ride.
You're trying to compel me? Who do you think freed you last night? Get in.
They're coming for you.
Ah, great.
I'm gonna add carry to the list of things that you can't do well, but that's ok.
You can pay me back with your salary from the Grill if you want to work a couple thousand years.
Why don't you do us all a favor and start dating Elena again? Just put her on the pool table.
What the hell is going on? Who are all these people? Traveler husks.
They've passengered theirselves into the beautiful citizens of Mystic Falls like your buddy Mr.
Sikes.
You two, make yourselves useful.
Patrol the town.
Call me if you see anything weirder than usual.
And what are you planning on doing with all of them? Here you go.
Oh, yeah.
Well, Markos put them in a cave.
I'm hoping he wants them back.
So you think drawing Markos to your house is the best idea? It's the only idea unless your body-snatched ex-boyfriend in the basement can help us.
Julian is not Tyler.
Therefore, he has no reason to help us, so until I figure out a way to get Tyler back, he's just extra baggage.
There's no shame in giving up.
I mean, aren't we all a little sick of Tyler? You know what? Your whole I'm too cool to care thing is really starting to get old, and don't think for one second that I believe your mood has nothing to do with Elena.
Spare me the unsolicited relationship advice.
Fine.
Just keep your torture-happy hands off of Tyler until I figure something out.
I don't abandon the people that I care about.
It was too risky to haul you out of there myself, so I had to circle back.
Won't they kill you for helping us out? Yes, which is why we need to make sure that they don't get to me before I get to my husband.
I assume you know where he is.
Well, seeing as how he's permanently passengered into one of our best friends, yeah.
This isn't really a 3-person kind of truck, is it? You can always sit in your boyfriend's lap.
- We're not together.
- She's not my girlfriend.
Noted.
Sorry I assumed.
I thought the doppelgangers were, like, fated soul mates or something.
Something like that.
So you want your husband back.
I get it, but didn't he run from Markos, too? Doesn't that make you guys both dead? Markos is focused on breaking the curse so that the travelers can settle permanently in your hometown.
I'll have a head start if I can get to Julian before Markos starts the spell.
We're not just gonna let you take Tyler.
Tyler is gone.
There's only Julian now, and he belongs with me.
Once the spell starts, magic will be stripped away layer by layer.
Tyler's body will turn from hybrid back to werewolf, but then finally, he'll just be dead, and my husband along with him.
So leaving him behind is not an option.
Quit hovering.
It's weird.
You're, like, permanently inhabiting the former love of my life.
Let's debate the levels of weird.
If he's former, why do you care? Because he's a person whose life you stole without asking.
- He deserves to be fought for.
- Whatever.
So why can't Markos and all the other travelers find someplace else to live? It's nice here.
Besides, it's not just about breaking the curse that keeps us from being able to settle.
It's revenge against everything the witches stand for, every grimoire, every talisman, every vampire, right down to your daylight rings.
The travelers see it all as a perversion of pure magic.
Markos wants to destroy that perversion.
He wants to restore the balance.
But that's just wrong.
It's not really wrong when you think about it.
If anything, it's kind of right.
Why does he have to be so violent about it? When it comes to getting what he wants, Markos doesn't have much of a sense of humor.
Nothing.
Ahh.
Salvatore boring house.
- I'm calling about my people.
- Hey.
You found my note.
Now listen.
Don't be offended, but I can't just give them to anyone, so what do they look like? They're ragged, beaten down by the world, desperate for a home.
You just described homeless people, aging hipsters, and Matt Donovan.
One of them is 5'10", wearing a black coat.
You're standing next to him.
I know the concept of a home is new to you, but it is polite to knock.
So Julian is trapped inside of Tyler forever or until he dies, so I was thinking what if he does die? Maybe that's how we do it, that's how we get him out.
You want to kill Tyler? Well, he'll go to the other side, and then when Liv does the spell to help you and Enzo, Tyler can come back.
And speaking of, shouldn't you be, like, preparing or talking to Liv or doing anything other than packing up our dorm room? We have to be out of here right after finals, which I might skip due to the potential extinction of magic in the place where I was spending my summer break.
Right, but I think the other side falling apart is slightly more pressing than a late housing fee.
There is no spell.
I made it up.
The other side is collapsing, and everyone in it, including me, is going away for good.
So, no, I don't think you should kill Tyler.
Nice place.
A little rustic.
My tastes are more modern ironically.
Still Good bones and all.
I think you read the flier wrong.
See, the bodies are the only thing on the bargaining table and in the attic and the garage and the kitchen.
About that.
Please tell me taking hostages isn't your grand plan because it feels a little small, much like the half bathroom off the foyer.
Funny.
Here I thought you didn't have a sense of humor.
Hmm.
Oh.
If you're wondering about the smell, I have your salvation army doused in gasoline, and I am just itching to light a match.
Hmm.
You're right.
None of this would be possible without their willingness to passenger themselves into your citizens and help perform my spell, and while I'd like to give them the opportunity to return to their actual bodies.
It's not essential to my plan.
Did you really think you'd found the whole of my people? Travelers are everywhere.
They're the faces that surround you every day the world over, the ones you don't notice because you're too busy making a mess of all that you have.
They want those things, too A home, a family, a better life And they're willing to die for it.
You want a promised land.
I get it, ok, but look.
Off the record, I mean, Mystic Falls is kind of a dump Bad schools, terrible traffic, and forget about ever getting a decent cup of coffee.
Mystic Falls is a means to an end, like a small pebble dropped into a very large pond.
Very poetic.
No idea what it means.
Once we destroy the spirit magic in this town, the witches' curse will finally be broken.
From there, the spell will ripple outward, unraveling spirit magic as it spreads.
Only pure magic, our magic, will remain.
My people will be free to go wherever they choose, and when witch magic and all that it has ever created is gone from this earth, you will be, too.
I think I've heard about enough.
You underestimate me.
I've completely transfused myself with doppelganger blood.
I'm channeling all the power of my people.
You're not strong enough to kill me anymore.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee Not that it matters.
The spell has already begun.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Home, sweet, home.
I don't meant to be rude, but would you mind if I drained your carotid of a few ounces? You're two blocks from home.
Would you mind holding out, considering I saved your lives? Word of advice, keep a low profile.
This is exactly where Markos doesn't want you to be.
If a traveler spots you, you're going right back to that camp.
Look out! What the hell is she doing? Trying to kill you.
Just a wild guess.
Get out of the car.
- Unlock the doors! - I did! - Stop! - I can't! Oh, my God.
Aah! I'm sorry, I really am, but we need to make the doppelganger blood useless.
One of you needs to die.
Unh! It doesn't matter which one really.
When did you plan on telling me, or were you just hoping the darkness would come take me before the awful truth came out? Answer me! Don't you get it? There is no solution.
There's always a solution.
Your boyfriend came back from the dead, Markos came back from the dead, you came back from the dead! The travelers used the doppelganger blood and that spell to bring Markos back, which means they basically destroyed the magic that was holding the other side together.
It's unraveling, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.
It is over, Enzo.
You're not coming back.
- Accept it.
- I will accept it when that darkness comes and yanks me into oblivion.
I will accept when I no longer exist.
I spent over 50 years stuck in a cell, poked, prodded, tortured.
By all rights, I had no hope of ever getting out, but I clung to it, so I will accept it when it's done and not a minute prior.
I know you.
You tried to kill my boyfriend in the caves.
- What's going on? - A traveler just died.
Please tell my husband I tried.
I'd invite you to stay for dinner, but I'm not very familiar with the traveler cuisine, although I'm sure it involves lots of trail mix and gruel.
I think I'll take this wall down.
I love an open floor plan.
Damon.
He doesn't know I'm here.
Use the element of surprise.
Not sure you're clever enough to pull it off.
Just thought I'd put it out there.
Well, all I can ask is that you leave me with a couple great bottles of wine.
You know, I spent half my life shoplifting the stuff.
I'm assuming you want to see the wine cellar.
Ah.
Here's something you don't see every day.
Bordeaux 1945.
I think I won this in a poker game.
I don't know.
Maybe Stefan brought it back from the war.
I don't remember.
Where is your brother? I was hoping he'd be here.
The doppelgangers seemed to have slipped away without saying good-bye.
Well, that's a good question.
Why don't we find out? After you.
Do it.
Liv, come on.
No hard feelings.
Just following our coven's orders.
Aah! - Liv! Liv, what's happening? - Oh, no.
Your magic sputter out? Luke, it's started.
The spell's started.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit - We trusted you.
- It doesn't matter.
You're gonna be dead any second.
Elena! Stefan, our rings aren't working.
Get inside.
Run now! Elena! Hey.
What happened? - Our rings aren't working.
- What?! Whole town square's filled with travelers.
We got to get out of here.
The tunnels.
In the stockroom.
Come on.
Let's go.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Elena! Unh! Ohh! What's going on? The spell unravels the witch magic.
It's spreading, and without the magic, I'm just someone who was shot by his dad.
All right.
Come on.
Let's keep running.
Maybe we'll stay ahead of it.
Well, Stefan isn't picking up, so he might just be out of cell phone minutes.
What kind of game are you playing? Took you long enough.
My fangs.
What the hell happened to my fangs? What? Unh! Aah! Ooh.
Aah! Aah! Oh! We have a problem.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol Heh heh.
Now what were you saying about this being your home? Unh! No! Like I said, the spell will continue to unravel spirit magic as it spreads, which means you're not long for this world.
The sun's about to set.
Feel free to buy yourself a little time to say your good-byes.
You and this traitor of yours can try to outrun the spell for a little while anyway.
Little Gilbert, I have never been so happy to see you.
Get in.
What are we even supposed to take Photos, clothes, hair products? Like any of that matters when we're all dead! - Why are you just sitting there? - I'm thinking.
Well, think while you pack.
Death is literally on its way.
You said a vampire appeared to you who died on Old Miller Road, which means the spell is moving past Mystic Falls.
So whatever will fit.
The rest I'm sure we'll never see again.
Hello, Bonnie! Which part of we're all about to die isn't registering? I think I know how to get us all back form the other side.
I need to find Enzo.
These are all the blood bags I could get my hands on.
Thanks.
Between the 4 of us, that will last a day.
Then what? That's a tomorrow problem.
Right now, we just got to outrun the spell, regroup in about 1,000 miles, and then figure out a game plan.
You ok? What was that for? I had a really crappy day, and I needed it.
I thought I was never gonna see you again, and I couldn't think of a worse way to die.
Well, I guess today's your lucky day.
Jeremy, you head back with Matt.
We need eyes and ears in Mystic Falls.
You guys take Jeremy's car.
I'm gonna wait here for Caroline and Bonnie.
- I'll call you in a few hours, Jer.
- Be careful.
Surreal, isn't it? Who are you? Dead just like you, but I've got a proposition to get us both out of this place.
What are you talking about? Markos managed to Houdini his way back to the land of the living with some crazy spell.
Any chance you know it? I know the spell, but I don't know two dozen travelers willing to overwhelm the anchor.
I think you underestimate how resourceful we are.
Just leave the details to us.
What do you say? Interested? What the hell is happening? Grab my hand! Help! Help me! Hold on! No! Don't let me go! Aah! What's wrong? We hit a little snag.
Where's Bonnie? She was right behind me.
I'm gonna find out what's taking so long.
I'm looking for Maria.
I heard she brought you back to Mystic Falls.
Uh, yeah, she did.
Did she tell you where she was headed? Because she can't stay there.
The town's completely overrun.
What's the problem? Did she tell you where she was headed or what? Listen.
Uh, you're not gonna see Maria again.
What are you talking about? She's dead.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't touch me.
- It wasn't Stefan's fault.
- She saved your punk ass.
I wasn't the one who killed her.
The witches did.
Well, someone's gonna have to pay for it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Whoa.
I'm in no mood to fight tonight, all right? Look at me.
My wife's dead.
I'm in somebody else's body.
I've got nowhere to go because my own people are trying to kill me.
Listen.
We're gonna find a way to stop this spell.
Even if Mystic Falls is gone, we're gonna find a way to save ourselves, all right? There.
Dead doppelganger.
Stopped the spell.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! No, no.
What the hell happened? Maria was the only one who was willing to help us who knew that spell.
The great beyond happened, and it's gonna keep happening, so we need to find a way out of here and fast.
Stefan.
What? Bonnie.
This this can't be happening.
Please tell me that you figured out a way to bring us all back.
I lost it.
I'm sorry.
Somebody, help me! Please.
Oh, my God.
No.
Somebody, help! Somebody, help!
Their leader Markos is here.
One by one, they've taken over towns by putting passengers inside of the townsfolk.
I take it back.
This is creepy.
We think they're doing the same thing in Mystic Falls.
You're passengered into the body of a hybrid, Julian.
They've started the spell to make Julian permanent.
Unh! Enzo's dead.
Aah! Unh! Enzo, I can bring you back.
I'll find a way.
And how do you plan on doing that? Markos found his way back.
It's not impossible.
The other side is falling apart.
And when this place goes, you are going with it.
You asked if there was anything you could do about the other side.
Say good-bye to your friends, Bonnie.
The blood of the final two doppelgangers can undo the witches' curse that prevents us from finding a home.
We can break that curse.
Wakey, wakey.
Mr Sikes, head of corporate accounts.
Oops.
Sorry about that.
Yeah.
Can't have you mumbling any of those annoying traveler ditties.
It's a sure migraine.
So here's the deal.
My brother and my girl have both been kidnapped by travelers, and I can't seem to find them anywhere.
I mean, like, poof, gone, right? So besides a completely clueless hybrid in my basement and a cave full of sleeping travelers, I've got nothing to go on except you, so I'm gonna need you to tell me where I can find your leader Markos.
What's up, blondie? Liv and Luke aren't answering any of my - Oh, my God! Mr.
Sikes? - You know him? Yeah.
He helped me open my first savings account.
He gave me a lollipop.
Well, unfortunately, Mr.
Sikes here is occupied by some low-life traveler.
I saw him and his buddies chanting in the town square last week.
I also know that Markos and your passengered comrades are planning some big flashy spell to undo some super boring ancient witch curse, and where that sucks for us, it just happens to undo all witch magic, I.
E.
kill me and my sexy, blond frenemy here.
If you know where Markos took Stefan and Elena, you need to tell us.
Yep.
Sorry.
You're gonna have to speak up.
Mmm.
Nope, nope.
Didn't catch that either.
I think he's trying to say something to me.
Come here, sweetie pie.
It doesn't matter where Markos is.
Nothing you do can stop him now.
You have enough.
Let me go.
Aah! Unh! Aah! I'll have enough when you can no longer speak.
- Who's there? - Shh.
Get out of here.
Go.
- Stefan.
- Elena.
Seriously? Collect calls are still a thing? Yeah.
Well, you know what could have saved you the cost of this phone call? You finding us.
- How long have we been gone? - 4 days.
and you couldn't track us down? What'd you think, we were having a nice spa getaway? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I've been searching 24/7, ok? Maybe if you'd been a little more perceptive, you wouldn't have gotten yourselves doppelnapped.
Oh.
What the hell was that? Travelers drained us of our blood, so we've had to do a little bit of hunting.
You have Elena participating in squirrel slaughter? Believe me, she's no happier about it than I am.
Heh heh.
She'll shoot your eye out.
Do you want to talk to her, or are you still pretending like you don't want to hear her voice? Don't psychoanalyze me, Stefan.
Where are you? I'll come get you.
I have no idea where we are.
We're in the middle of nowhere.
Listen.
We'll make our way back, but Markos drained most of our blood, and considering the kinds of spells he was able to do - with just a little bit of it - Yeah, I know.
Find Markos, kill Markos, save Mystic Falls from becoming traveler home.
It's gonna be a busy day for me, Stefan.
Time to strap on the hero hair.
I'll get her home safely, all right? Get both yourselves home safely, brother.
I'd hate to have to kick her ass for losing you.
Unh! God.
Forgetting someone? Bonnie! He says you promised you bring him back.
Uh, you're paraphrasing.
He said, quote, I will find a way.
Whatever.
Hello.
Still here, and I know what I said.
Hey.
Remind him he doesn't have a very good track record - for keeping promises.
- Please stop talking.
The other side is on the brink of colapse.
I plan on pestering all of you until I'm safely returned to the land of the living.
You need to fix this before I lose my mind.
Hey.
I'm sorry, ok? I've got two missing doppelgangers, I've got a traveler that wants to rid our town of magic, and I've got the friendly banker Mr.
Sikes in the coat closet, so escape from the netherworld's gonna have to wait until tomorrow.
I think he wants to be penciled in for today.
Then you bring him back.
What? Liv is cooking up a spell to pull you back from the other side before it goes kaboom, so whatever you're doing, just include Enzo in it.
You hear me, Enzo.
Just hitch a ride with her, ok? - See? There delegating.
- I feel better.
That's not a great idea.
You called.
You.
I need you and your Xbox buddy to run an errand for me.
Come on.
Let's go.
Well, what are you waiting for? Ring up your little witchy friend and get her over here.
- Ohh, God.
I feel like an idiot.
- Ditto.
Do that thing again.
The vamp thing.
Oh, no.
I don't want to do that.
Come on.
You know it's embarrassing.
Come on.
It's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now.
Sure.
Ohh.
Hmm.
That was funnier the first time.
Yeah.
Well, you were delirious the first time.
How many, um ahem You know, are we supposed to have before we get our strength back? More than we've had, that's for sure.
Let me know if you see a damn buffalo.
This is depressing.
Yeah.
More depressing than walking for Miles and not knowing where the hell you're going? No, probably not more depressing than that.
Damon is in full hero mode today.
I'm sure he was thrilled about that.
I don't know.
He had the whole savior of the universe voice going on.
I like that voice.
You know, maybe this whole thing's a sign.
A sign of what? My blood can literally destroy him.
If that's not a sign that we're in a toxic relationship Our blood, all right, our blood.
Don't hog the blame.
Look.
We're vampires.
We're a toxic species.
Whether you want to blame it on magic or biology, it's just who we are.
When a human gets ravenously hungry, they eat a double cheeseburger.
We kill people.
Some of us are more extreme than others, but that's just who we are.
How come you're so much better at controlling it? Because I'm so much worse when I don't.
I'm only gonna say this once.
You two are miserable without each other, so if you want to be with him, just be with him.
Look.
When humans want to break free from complicated relationships, they go to therapy.
Vampires get a pass, ok? Come on.
I ordered us waffles.
I figured our last meal wouldn't be complete until we poured liquid sugar all over it.
Mmm.
My ray of sunshine sister.
The coven's pissed, Luke.
You were supposed to hide Stefan and Elena from the travelers, and you practically delivered them on a silver platter.
Ok.
How was I supposed to know that Casper the english ghost would be a complication.
That's not the point.
We were never supposed to let things get this far.
We got sucked into some stupid "let's be friends" trap.
Look.
These people are nice, ok, more than I can say for our screwed up family.
Ohh! - What are you doing? - It's not me.
Like I said, the coven is pissed.
Fine.
I'm listening.
We were supposed to keep the doppelgangers from falling into Markos' hands.
We failed.
We can't let him succeed at taking away our magic.
There's only one move left.
We have to kill Stefan and Elena.
Yeah.
Morning, Sam.
Mrs.
Douglas, special delivery.
- Mailman didn't deliver anything? - Nope.
Just picking up.
I'm going to be late for school.
I've got a million college essays to review.
What's going on, Pam? Something's wrong.
You're different lately.
I think what's wrong is the fact that it's taken you so long to notice that your wife has been colonized by a total stranger.
You think I'm joking? I'm serious.
So am I.
My name's Karl.
I'm a traveler living inside your wife's body while my real body is asleep in a cave under the town.
- What are you talking about? - This isn't my first choice, but I need to borrow something that's expendable.
Pam, you need help.
Tsk.
Unh! This marriage was a disaster anyway.
No hard feelings.
I think I just hallucinated a unicorn.
Hmm.
Maybe Caroline's nearby.
Heh.
If Caroline was here, we'd have a fully catered buffet on the side of the road and a rainbow.
Two rainbows.
That's funny.
Ha! You know, when we were younger, I couldn't decide what was more annoying Her control freakiness or her delusional positivity, but right now honestly, there isn't a single person I wish was here more.
Her control freakiness never really bugged me.
Yeah.
Well, you didn't have to build a Barbie castle with her in the second grade.
That's true.
I do know this.
If Caroline Forbes was here right now, we would both be laughing.
We're so pathetic.
You know what? Let's put on your best Caroline Forbes hats, shall we? All right, universe, enough screwing around.
We're ready for the good stuff.
Theme dance or block party maybe.
- You got to be kidding me.
- What? Oh, my God.
That is so weird.
Oh, no, wait.
See? H oh.
Not what I was expecting.
All right.
Let's cut to the chase.
You're giving us a ride.
You're trying to compel me? Who do you think freed you last night? Get in.
They're coming for you.
Ah, great.
I'm gonna add carry to the list of things that you can't do well, but that's ok.
You can pay me back with your salary from the Grill if you want to work a couple thousand years.
Why don't you do us all a favor and start dating Elena again? Just put her on the pool table.
What the hell is going on? Who are all these people? Traveler husks.
They've passengered theirselves into the beautiful citizens of Mystic Falls like your buddy Mr.
Sikes.
You two, make yourselves useful.
Patrol the town.
Call me if you see anything weirder than usual.
And what are you planning on doing with all of them? Here you go.
Oh, yeah.
Well, Markos put them in a cave.
I'm hoping he wants them back.
So you think drawing Markos to your house is the best idea? It's the only idea unless your body-snatched ex-boyfriend in the basement can help us.
Julian is not Tyler.
Therefore, he has no reason to help us, so until I figure out a way to get Tyler back, he's just extra baggage.
There's no shame in giving up.
I mean, aren't we all a little sick of Tyler? You know what? Your whole I'm too cool to care thing is really starting to get old, and don't think for one second that I believe your mood has nothing to do with Elena.
Spare me the unsolicited relationship advice.
Fine.
Just keep your torture-happy hands off of Tyler until I figure something out.
I don't abandon the people that I care about.
It was too risky to haul you out of there myself, so I had to circle back.
Won't they kill you for helping us out? Yes, which is why we need to make sure that they don't get to me before I get to my husband.
I assume you know where he is.
Well, seeing as how he's permanently passengered into one of our best friends, yeah.
This isn't really a 3-person kind of truck, is it? You can always sit in your boyfriend's lap.
- We're not together.
- She's not my girlfriend.
Noted.
Sorry I assumed.
I thought the doppelgangers were, like, fated soul mates or something.
Something like that.
So you want your husband back.
I get it, but didn't he run from Markos, too? Doesn't that make you guys both dead? Markos is focused on breaking the curse so that the travelers can settle permanently in your hometown.
I'll have a head start if I can get to Julian before Markos starts the spell.
We're not just gonna let you take Tyler.
Tyler is gone.
There's only Julian now, and he belongs with me.
Once the spell starts, magic will be stripped away layer by layer.
Tyler's body will turn from hybrid back to werewolf, but then finally, he'll just be dead, and my husband along with him.
So leaving him behind is not an option.
Quit hovering.
It's weird.
You're, like, permanently inhabiting the former love of my life.
Let's debate the levels of weird.
If he's former, why do you care? Because he's a person whose life you stole without asking.
- He deserves to be fought for.
- Whatever.
So why can't Markos and all the other travelers find someplace else to live? It's nice here.
Besides, it's not just about breaking the curse that keeps us from being able to settle.
It's revenge against everything the witches stand for, every grimoire, every talisman, every vampire, right down to your daylight rings.
The travelers see it all as a perversion of pure magic.
Markos wants to destroy that perversion.
He wants to restore the balance.
But that's just wrong.
It's not really wrong when you think about it.
If anything, it's kind of right.
Why does he have to be so violent about it? When it comes to getting what he wants, Markos doesn't have much of a sense of humor.
Nothing.
Ahh.
Salvatore boring house.
- I'm calling about my people.
- Hey.
You found my note.
Now listen.
Don't be offended, but I can't just give them to anyone, so what do they look like? They're ragged, beaten down by the world, desperate for a home.
You just described homeless people, aging hipsters, and Matt Donovan.
One of them is 5'10", wearing a black coat.
You're standing next to him.
I know the concept of a home is new to you, but it is polite to knock.
So Julian is trapped inside of Tyler forever or until he dies, so I was thinking what if he does die? Maybe that's how we do it, that's how we get him out.
You want to kill Tyler? Well, he'll go to the other side, and then when Liv does the spell to help you and Enzo, Tyler can come back.
And speaking of, shouldn't you be, like, preparing or talking to Liv or doing anything other than packing up our dorm room? We have to be out of here right after finals, which I might skip due to the potential extinction of magic in the place where I was spending my summer break.
Right, but I think the other side falling apart is slightly more pressing than a late housing fee.
There is no spell.
I made it up.
The other side is collapsing, and everyone in it, including me, is going away for good.
So, no, I don't think you should kill Tyler.
Nice place.
A little rustic.
My tastes are more modern ironically.
Still Good bones and all.
I think you read the flier wrong.
See, the bodies are the only thing on the bargaining table and in the attic and the garage and the kitchen.
About that.
Please tell me taking hostages isn't your grand plan because it feels a little small, much like the half bathroom off the foyer.
Funny.
Here I thought you didn't have a sense of humor.
Hmm.
Oh.
If you're wondering about the smell, I have your salvation army doused in gasoline, and I am just itching to light a match.
Hmm.
You're right.
None of this would be possible without their willingness to passenger themselves into your citizens and help perform my spell, and while I'd like to give them the opportunity to return to their actual bodies.
It's not essential to my plan.
Did you really think you'd found the whole of my people? Travelers are everywhere.
They're the faces that surround you every day the world over, the ones you don't notice because you're too busy making a mess of all that you have.
They want those things, too A home, a family, a better life And they're willing to die for it.
You want a promised land.
I get it, ok, but look.
Off the record, I mean, Mystic Falls is kind of a dump Bad schools, terrible traffic, and forget about ever getting a decent cup of coffee.
Mystic Falls is a means to an end, like a small pebble dropped into a very large pond.
Very poetic.
No idea what it means.
Once we destroy the spirit magic in this town, the witches' curse will finally be broken.
From there, the spell will ripple outward, unraveling spirit magic as it spreads.
Only pure magic, our magic, will remain.
My people will be free to go wherever they choose, and when witch magic and all that it has ever created is gone from this earth, you will be, too.
I think I've heard about enough.
You underestimate me.
I've completely transfused myself with doppelganger blood.
I'm channeling all the power of my people.
You're not strong enough to kill me anymore.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee Not that it matters.
The spell has already begun.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Home, sweet, home.
I don't meant to be rude, but would you mind if I drained your carotid of a few ounces? You're two blocks from home.
Would you mind holding out, considering I saved your lives? Word of advice, keep a low profile.
This is exactly where Markos doesn't want you to be.
If a traveler spots you, you're going right back to that camp.
Look out! What the hell is she doing? Trying to kill you.
Just a wild guess.
Get out of the car.
- Unlock the doors! - I did! - Stop! - I can't! Oh, my God.
Aah! I'm sorry, I really am, but we need to make the doppelganger blood useless.
One of you needs to die.
Unh! It doesn't matter which one really.
When did you plan on telling me, or were you just hoping the darkness would come take me before the awful truth came out? Answer me! Don't you get it? There is no solution.
There's always a solution.
Your boyfriend came back from the dead, Markos came back from the dead, you came back from the dead! The travelers used the doppelganger blood and that spell to bring Markos back, which means they basically destroyed the magic that was holding the other side together.
It's unraveling, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.
It is over, Enzo.
You're not coming back.
- Accept it.
- I will accept it when that darkness comes and yanks me into oblivion.
I will accept when I no longer exist.
I spent over 50 years stuck in a cell, poked, prodded, tortured.
By all rights, I had no hope of ever getting out, but I clung to it, so I will accept it when it's done and not a minute prior.
I know you.
You tried to kill my boyfriend in the caves.
- What's going on? - A traveler just died.
Please tell my husband I tried.
I'd invite you to stay for dinner, but I'm not very familiar with the traveler cuisine, although I'm sure it involves lots of trail mix and gruel.
I think I'll take this wall down.
I love an open floor plan.
Damon.
He doesn't know I'm here.
Use the element of surprise.
Not sure you're clever enough to pull it off.
Just thought I'd put it out there.
Well, all I can ask is that you leave me with a couple great bottles of wine.
You know, I spent half my life shoplifting the stuff.
I'm assuming you want to see the wine cellar.
Ah.
Here's something you don't see every day.
Bordeaux 1945.
I think I won this in a poker game.
I don't know.
Maybe Stefan brought it back from the war.
I don't remember.
Where is your brother? I was hoping he'd be here.
The doppelgangers seemed to have slipped away without saying good-bye.
Well, that's a good question.
Why don't we find out? After you.
Do it.
Liv, come on.
No hard feelings.
Just following our coven's orders.
Aah! - Liv! Liv, what's happening? - Oh, no.
Your magic sputter out? Luke, it's started.
The spell's started.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit - We trusted you.
- It doesn't matter.
You're gonna be dead any second.
Elena! Stefan, our rings aren't working.
Get inside.
Run now! Elena! Hey.
What happened? - Our rings aren't working.
- What?! Whole town square's filled with travelers.
We got to get out of here.
The tunnels.
In the stockroom.
Come on.
Let's go.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Elena! Unh! Ohh! What's going on? The spell unravels the witch magic.
It's spreading, and without the magic, I'm just someone who was shot by his dad.
All right.
Come on.
Let's keep running.
Maybe we'll stay ahead of it.
Well, Stefan isn't picking up, so he might just be out of cell phone minutes.
What kind of game are you playing? Took you long enough.
My fangs.
What the hell happened to my fangs? What? Unh! Aah! Ooh.
Aah! Aah! Oh! We have a problem.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol ehmit pro kleh et tee.
Zah pet par veet.
Eezol Heh heh.
Now what were you saying about this being your home? Unh! No! Like I said, the spell will continue to unravel spirit magic as it spreads, which means you're not long for this world.
The sun's about to set.
Feel free to buy yourself a little time to say your good-byes.
You and this traitor of yours can try to outrun the spell for a little while anyway.
Little Gilbert, I have never been so happy to see you.
Get in.
What are we even supposed to take Photos, clothes, hair products? Like any of that matters when we're all dead! - Why are you just sitting there? - I'm thinking.
Well, think while you pack.
Death is literally on its way.
You said a vampire appeared to you who died on Old Miller Road, which means the spell is moving past Mystic Falls.
So whatever will fit.
The rest I'm sure we'll never see again.
Hello, Bonnie! Which part of we're all about to die isn't registering? I think I know how to get us all back form the other side.
I need to find Enzo.
These are all the blood bags I could get my hands on.
Thanks.
Between the 4 of us, that will last a day.
Then what? That's a tomorrow problem.
Right now, we just got to outrun the spell, regroup in about 1,000 miles, and then figure out a game plan.
You ok? What was that for? I had a really crappy day, and I needed it.
I thought I was never gonna see you again, and I couldn't think of a worse way to die.
Well, I guess today's your lucky day.
Jeremy, you head back with Matt.
We need eyes and ears in Mystic Falls.
You guys take Jeremy's car.
I'm gonna wait here for Caroline and Bonnie.
- I'll call you in a few hours, Jer.
- Be careful.
Surreal, isn't it? Who are you? Dead just like you, but I've got a proposition to get us both out of this place.
What are you talking about? Markos managed to Houdini his way back to the land of the living with some crazy spell.
Any chance you know it? I know the spell, but I don't know two dozen travelers willing to overwhelm the anchor.
I think you underestimate how resourceful we are.
Just leave the details to us.
What do you say? Interested? What the hell is happening? Grab my hand! Help! Help me! Hold on! No! Don't let me go! Aah! What's wrong? We hit a little snag.
Where's Bonnie? She was right behind me.
I'm gonna find out what's taking so long.
I'm looking for Maria.
I heard she brought you back to Mystic Falls.
Uh, yeah, she did.
Did she tell you where she was headed? Because she can't stay there.
The town's completely overrun.
What's the problem? Did she tell you where she was headed or what? Listen.
Uh, you're not gonna see Maria again.
What are you talking about? She's dead.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't touch me.
- It wasn't Stefan's fault.
- She saved your punk ass.
I wasn't the one who killed her.
The witches did.
Well, someone's gonna have to pay for it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Whoa.
I'm in no mood to fight tonight, all right? Look at me.
My wife's dead.
I'm in somebody else's body.
I've got nowhere to go because my own people are trying to kill me.
Listen.
We're gonna find a way to stop this spell.
Even if Mystic Falls is gone, we're gonna find a way to save ourselves, all right? There.
Dead doppelganger.
Stopped the spell.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! No, no.
What the hell happened? Maria was the only one who was willing to help us who knew that spell.
The great beyond happened, and it's gonna keep happening, so we need to find a way out of here and fast.
Stefan.
What? Bonnie.
This this can't be happening.
Please tell me that you figured out a way to bring us all back.
I lost it.
I'm sorry.
Somebody, help me! Please.
Oh, my God.
No.
Somebody, help! Somebody, help!