The Wonder Years s05e21 Episode Script

It always seemed that in my house, the most dramatic things Happened in the middle of the night.
Like the night of the big blizzard when Dad got stuck out on the highway And we thought we'd never see him again.
Or the night my brother swallowed a whole bag of marbles And threw them up in the car, on the way to the hospital.
Or the night my eight-legged science project escaped And turned up in Mom's nightgown at three AM.
But nothing ever created quite as much confusion around my house As the night My sister came back home.
Honey? Hi.
What time is it? Karen, are you alright? /I'm fine, Mom.
Can I come in? Of course /Thanks Like I saidWe weren't exactly strangers to midnight crises.
Honey, you're soaked /Yeah.
I know, Mom.
How did you get here? Uh, my friend Robin gave me a ride.
Do you have any tea? Oh, yeah Still, for some reason There was something about this night that was just a tad more Baffling than usual.
Is that Karen? No, butthead - it's Santa Claus.
Karen, what happened? Nothing happened.
Mom? Do we have any herbal? Here, honey - I'll get it.
It's up here.
/Thanks.
Well, somethin' must have happened It'stwo o'clock in the morning.
Did you and Michael have a fight? Something like that.
A fight - what kind of fight? Daddy, I really don't want to talk about it, OK? Do we have any pretzels? / Wait a minute.
What do you mean, you don't want to talk about it? You show up soakin' wet, freezing, in the middle of the night Jackshe's upset.
Thats right.
I'm going to bed.
What bed? / What bed? The one in my room.
Of course.
She's taking my room! Mom Honey Don't worry, you can sleep in Kevin's room.
Mom! Wait! And there ya had it.
Mom! Can't she sleep in the garage? No.
Karen had blown back into our houseAnd completelyRearranged our lives.
At least let me get you an extra blanketHoney No, Mom I'll - I'll be fine.
Karen! Look.
I'm tired, and I'm wet, and I don't want to talk about it anymoreOK? The weird thing was Goodnight.
None of us had any idea why.
I did not.
/Ya did so.
That wasn't me /Yes it was, troll.
You snore tonight, you lose your tongue.
Me? What about you? Hey.
Hey! Hey!! Knock it off.
All in all, it was kind of a restless night.
Morning! For some of us, anyway.
/ Good morning, honey.
How'd ya sleep? Great.
So, KarenWhat happened last night? Michael and I got into an argument.
And? D'you guys have any orange juice? Karen Look - It's really very simple I just decided things weren't working between me and Michael.
So, I'm moving out.
Now, considering Karen had been shacking up with the guy for a year This was no small news.
Honey Does this mean you're gonna be moving back into the college dorms? Not exactly.
As a matter of factI was thinking of moving back here.
What?! I'm goin' out to the garage.
Needless to say, it wasA decision not without repercussions.
For all of us.
What's goin' on, here? I'm not sure she knows what she's doing.
Well Somebody better go talk to her.
After all, moving out was one thing Moving back in was quite another.
OK I'll talk to her.
So, we set out to settle the confusion.
Iron out the turmoil.
Not that Dad would have to go it alone.
We had a stake in this, too.
Ahem.
Karen? What are you doin'? Did you guys throw out my Jefferson Airplane poster? I'm not sure.
I just wanted to hang it back on my wall.
Yeah, well, about that, Karen You know everybody has fights.
That happens to everybody.
Yeah.
Michael is the most chauvinistic, pig-headed closed-minded man I've ever met.
Uh-huh.
We were off to a great start.
Listen, Karen I know you're upset and everything, but Are you sure you want to come back here? Why, is that a problem? Uh, no! No, it's just What about college?I mean, you got your classes, and Daddy, don't worry about thatI'll figure it out.
I mean, right now, I just wanna, you know, take some timethink things over Take the summer to get things straight, OK? Well, that Sounds reasonable.
TranslationWayne and I were condemned to one room.
Look, Dad The last thing.
.
I wanted to do is drag you in the middle of this thingbetween me and Michael.
Well That's OK.
So, I was wondering Could you go up there and get my stuff? And suddenly The plot began to thicken.
Hi.
/Hi.
It's us.
Where's Karen? She, ummm She couldn't be here.
She kinda asked us to, uh We came to get her loot.
Well, we did, didn't we? where do we start? How about this? That's our tent.
Karen and I were supposed to go to Mount Pine next weekFor our first anniversary.
Bummer.
Michael You think you can help us out with this? Course it was pretty clearThe guy really didn't have a choice.
WellShe keeps most her things in there.
The top two drawers.
And with that, we crossed the Rubicon.
And reached The wallOf underwear.
Still, an hour laterWe were on our way.
Let's get outta here.
With Karen's lifein boxes.
Mr.
Arnold Wait! I can't let you do this.
Michael We're goin'.
Fine, thenI'll go with you.
Uh-uh.
Well, I just can't let this happen, can I? I mean, just because we had an argument Doesn't mean you move out of someone's life, do ya? Michael I mean, you know how she is.
She's stubborn, andpig-headed .
.
she won't listen to anybody.
What would you do? Now understand My dad was a patient man.
A private man.
A good man.
But he was no Ann Landers.
Look, Michaelwhat you do is your business.
All I know is I never wanted you two.
.
livin' like this in the first place.
And with thatWe'd reached the bottom line.
Yeah, neither did I.
What did you say? Well, that's what the fight was about.
Didn't she tell you? I wanted to marry her.
Hi, Mom! / Hi, honey! Just in time to eat.
Two hours later we were home with the goods.
Did you get all my things? Yeah, I think we got everything.
Yep.
Books, recordsUnderwear Plus a few thingsThat maybe weren't on the list.
Hi.
I don't believe you.
And, in the glow of that heart-warming moment There was only one thing to say.
Sowhat's for dinner? And so, we sat down to sup.
The traditional Arnold nuclear family unit PlusThe man who came to dinner.
The meatloaf is delicious, Mr.
Arnold.
Thank you.
It was kinda like having a two-ton elephant at the table.
Not that we couldn't be hospitableAbout the whole thing.
You know, Michael, Ireally wasn't expecting you here Yeah I guess not.
So.
why are you here? I / Simple.
Uh, Dad invited him.
What?! / No, Norma.
I, uhdidn't Invite him.
No! He didn't invite me.
Yeah.
Mom, he just Jack And it was time for another lovebirdSerenade.
Hi.
/ Hi.
Look, Karenwhy don'tWe take a walk and talk this over? There's nothing to talk about.
What does that mean? Michael KarenAll I didwas ask you to marry me.
Woops.
I beg your pardon? Norma, I was gonna Fine, Michael.
You want to talk about it? Let's talk about it.
Marriage is an antiquated, male-centered institution.
And.
I don't believe in it! Institution? Karen, this is you and me! Not somebuilding.
Fine.
You can make a joke of it.
Karen - I am not joking.
/ Yes, you are, Michael.
Wait.
Please.
But if Mom meant to untieThe tangle, here It seems to me Look.
It's really very simple I don't want to spend the rest of my life making meatloaf.
.
And mashed potatoes.
The tangle got worse.
Karen, why do you always have to be like this? See? You're already trying to change me! I am not! Michael? I want you to leave.
Now.
Fine.
And there ya had it.
It was as if a tornado hadBlown through our house.
And leftNo survivors.
Would you mind getting the dishes, Jack? Dad, can I have his roll? Michael! Maybe it was dumb I went out there, but He was I guy I admired, and I didn't want himTo just leave.
You're not gonna just go like this, are you? I don't think she really left me a choice.
Yeah, butI've known my sister all my life.
She never means anything she says.
Well, nice try, anyway.
I'm pretty sureshe meant it, Kevin.
But I dunno It just seemed I should say something to make this better.
Something about men.
And women.
And humanRelationships.
Maybe she'll change her mind.
Yeah.
Well Thanks for the advice.
Yeah.
/ Seeya.
For the rest of that daynobody really said much.
For some reason, we all pretty much kept to ourselves.
The funny thing is you'd think a marriage proposal would bring a family together.
But this was nineteen-seventy-two.
Things had gotten very complicated.
What's goin' on? I don't know.
It was kinda like watching the Marines land at Omaha beach.
What's this all about? / How should I know? He's pitchin' that damn tent.
Michael? Michael.
Have you lost your mind? Michael! But somehow, the guy didn't appear in the mood for conversation.
He's lost it.
You're tellin' me.
I think you better do something, Jack.
Me?! He's not gonna listen to me.
Alright, then I'll talk to him.
No.
I don't want anyone talking to him.
This is between Michael, and me.
Karen! / Mom? I'll handle this.
Leaving one small question.
So, what are you gonna do? Nothing.
I'll just ignore him.
I'm going to bed.
Goodnight And, there really wasn't a whole lot left forThe rest of us to do.
Except, of coursehide in the kitchen.
No, Mrs.
Litton, he's not one of those Agitators He's, uh, a friend of the family.
I'm sure he'll be gone in the morning.
Yeah.
Sorry.
There we were.
Prisoners in our own house.
Bunkered down at three AM While some maniacBanged tent-poles into our flower patch.
This is stupid! Ya know that, don't ya? I mean, are we just gonna sit here all night? We can't.
Right? I mean, that would be idiotic.
So, I think we should do something.
There.
It was a clearAnd bold call for action.
Mom? Is there any more meatloaf? I'll make some coffee.
The truth was clear.
This problem was too big for us to solve by ourselves.
It was gonna take something bigger.
Something more powerful.
Karen? Hi The thing is, she looked almostfrightened.
As if there was something out there that scared her to death.
And maybe there was.
I thought you went back to bed.
I did.
I just - I couldn't sleep This is insane.
And we all knew it was.
I guess love always is.
He's just standing there.
What is he doing? Well, for one thing - he's gettin' pretty wet.
I'll tell ya somethin', though any guy who'd go through all this Then stand out there in the rain Must be really crazy about you.
Daddy, what am I supposed to do? But the fact wasWe'd done just about everything any family could.
From now onit wasOut of our hands.
Karen? It's freezing out there.
I'm gonna bring him some coffee.
No I'll do it.
Like I said Anything really important that happened at my house Happened in the middle of the night.
You cold? / Nah A little.
Here.
What took you so long? Jerk.
In a way, it was a relief to all of us.
We weren't really good at things likeRomance.
We were better at marbles, and eight-leggedScience projects.
Look, Karen I don't careabout getting marriedbeing married.
I justwant us to be together.
What took you so long? Ten days laterKaren asked Michael to marry her.
And he accepted.
"Why don't you come to your senses" "Come down from your fences" "Open the gate" "It may be rainin'" "But there's a rainbow above you" "You better let somebody love you" "You better let somebody love you" "Before it's too late"