Private Practice s05e22 Episode Script
Gone, Baby, Gone
I think I'm done with therapy.
I mean, I am So, so So grateful, you know, but I have Everything I've ever wanted.
I mean, isn't that the point of therapy, to make your life into what you want it to be? I have everything.
I have it all.
I'm a seeker true believer a long time ago What are we, uh, what are we doing? We're making out.
The same thing that we have been doing-- Just making out.
Mm.
I should probably close the blinds.
Okay.
To be continued.
Hi.
Hi.
I don't want to bother you.
Oh, you're not bothering Are you okay? I'm having a baby with no brain.
I'm fine.
I'm great.
I'm horrible.
I'm devastated But okay.
We talked about this.
It's traumatic.
And so it's perfectly natural, in the weeks prior to your due date, to develop feelings of-- of fear and despair - No.
- And-- I'm-- I'm having the baby right now.
I'm in labor, Jake.
I don't need to be here yet.
I'm barely dilated.
I could wait it out at home-- Actually, you, uh, you do need to be here.
You paged them? Yep.
And what did they say? I'm going to go talk to them as soon as I leave you.
Okay.
No drugs.
No epidural, no pain meds, no sedatives.
- I mean it.
- Okay.
I want you to move me off the OB floor the minute I'm done delivering.
I-I don't want to be on this floor.
Okay.
And wrap his head right away.
I don't want to see it.
Okay.
Just take him away Before I can see him.
I-I don't want to hear him cry.
Just-- Before he cries.
Amelia Right.
A baby without a frontal lobe can't cry.
I saw one once when I was an intern.
They make this kind of squeaking noise.
Brainless babies squeak.
I mean, it's the only way you can describe the noise they make, but I mean, you'd think that it would be awful, but actually, it's kinda Life will out, you know? I know.
Anyway Take him away before he squeaks.
So Pete's just gonna admit that he took his patient off the ventilator? Yep, he's convinced he did the right thing.
It's gonna make it hard for his lawyer.
What's going on? Is something wrong with Pete? No.
Amelia's in labor.
Oh, God.
Okay, I-I'm gonna go see-- Jake says we should all stay here.
Well, he might need a consult.
Amelia made it clear that she doesn't want you in there, so-- - Really, Sam? - Hey, hey.
- Is she in labor? - Yeah.
Where's Coop? He's with Violet.
Woman nearly broke down our door at the crack of dawn, - wanting to scream about Pete.
- How is she? How do you think she is? Terrified, blaming everyone but Pete.
Jake Just give me a minute.
Okay, first I want to say, that as Amelia's doctor, no one goes near her unless you're sure you can be supportive.
Why wouldn't we be supportive? Jake, what are you talking about? Amelia wants to donate her baby's organs.
How long have you known about this? - Since she chose me as her OB.
- That's murder.
Sam, please, do not get religious on me here.
This has nothing to do with religion.
The American Academy of Pediatrics states I know what it states.
That a declaration of brain death has to be made before procuring the organs.
And since there's no brain in a child that's anencephalic-- And still medical ethicists are split on whether it's acceptable to retrieve organs from them.
Why not just wait till the baby dies? Because by then, it'll be too late.
The organs will deteriorate, and they will no longer be viable for transplant.
I need to go consult our lawyer.
Charlotte, Charlotte We're talking about Amelia here.
I know it's Amelia, which is why I'm not revoking your privileges and throwing you out of here.
This is a person I love.
I need to consult the lawyers that represent this hospital to see what they think, because I think this is killing a baby.
Calling the case of Peter Wilder.
Counselors.
The state contends that Dr.
Wilder showed reckless disregard both for the life of his patient and for the laws of this state when he intentionally-- He pulled a Kevorkian? - My client followed the instructions-- - A Kevorkian? Are you serious? - Pete.
- Dr.
Wilder.
- My patient did not want to be kept alive by life support.
- Stop talking.
Your client killed a guy.
He doesn't look too sorry.
- Your honor, if you-- - I'm not sorry.
- Oh, Pete.
- I am not sorry.
Good.
You made this easy.
Bail is denied.
You have something to say or are you just gonna watch me? 'Cause this gown is backless, so when I turn around to go that way, you're gonna get a really great view of my maternity panties.
That was quite a bombshell Jake dropped on us today about you donating the baby's organs.
I'm like that All bombshell-y.
I was wondering how you came to your decision.
To my decision? My decision to donate the organs of my brainless baby? Amelia.
I'm having A contraction.
Is there Can I do anything? It hurts.
Don't touch me.
Are you all right? I'm fine.
Contractions come and go.
That's what happens when you're having a baby, even a unicorn baby.
A unicorn baby? Well, that's an interesting choice of words.
Sheldon, I'm doing a thing here.
What do you want? Sometimes people think they can circumvent the grieving process by focusing on an external goal.
And while concentrating on the benefits of organ donation is a perfectly valid short-term coping mechanism, it can't replace the work you need to do to deal with your own profound loss.
The work I need to do? The Are you freakin' kidding me? Look at me.
This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life.
I'm having a baby.
I'm in labor.
Yay.
I am dealing with my loss, Sheldon.
I am swimming in it.
I just wanted to make sure you thought this through.
I I just want to help you-- No, you just don't want to feel guilty.
Get out.
Please.
How do you even declare brain death in an anencephalic child? Lack of reflexes, pupillary responses.
No.
Those criteria don't apply here.
They indicate an absence of brain stem activity.
Amelia's baby has a rudimentary brain stem.
It'll never gain consciousness.
Exactly.
There is zero chance it will ever have any kind of meaningful life.
Will you stop saying "it"? Because the baby will be alive.
It's not a life I'd want, but it's not a life I'd kill.
Stop saying "it.
" Say "he.
" Say "him.
" You have to kill him to recover the organs.
Look, Sam, I need your help to harvest the heart and the lungs.
Amelia needs your help.
I want to help, and I-I don't know how.
Should I call Derek? No, she expressly asked me not to call her family.
She wants to do this on her own.
Well, I have to do something.
I can't just-- - I-I have to do something.
- You want to help? Sam is the best cardio guy at St.
Ambrose.
Get him to harvest the heart and lungs.
Do you need anything? No.
I made my cell mate my bitch, so I'm good.
Little prison humor.
Sorry.
Roberta's gonna appeal the judge's decision.
She says you should get bail.
She said that the judge was prejudiced.
That judge was an ass.
Hey, Pete, I'm freaking out here, okay? - I'm freaking out.
I-- - Okay, okay.
Hey.
I love you.
How's Lucas? He's good.
He misses you.
I told him that you were out of town for a while.
We shouldn't lie.
We shouldn't lie? What should I tell him, Pete? Really, what? Daddy's in jail because that's where they put Accused murderers? I did the right thing.
You did the right thing by your patient.
You did not do the right thing by our family.
You did not do the right thing by our son.
You need to cooperate.
I will not say that I'm sorry.
Pete, I get that you're not sorry.
I don't need you to be sorry.
I need you to not be in prison.
So please say whatever you have to say.
Cooperate.
Bail was denied entirely? - Yeah, entirely.
- But they're appealing that, right? They can appeal that.
- They are.
- Because it seems a little extreme.
Well, he did kill someone.
S-someone who wasn't going to recover, someone who's partner had asked him to-- Pete knew the law.
He broke the law.
And he put himself and the hospital at risk when he did it.
This is not helpful.
Can we not-- Can we just not debate it for once? This is a mistake.
Amelia's in a very bad place.
Did you just see her? I couldn't stay away even though it's just possible - that she hates me enough to kill me.
- Yeah, if I don't do it first.
I told you not to go see her if you couldn't be supportive.
- I was supporting her.
- The argument is pointless.
The hospital still hasn't signed off on the organ procurement.
And they shouldn't.
Do you know how many babies die ever year - waiting for organ transplants? - Charlotte, you have to fight here.
Who thinks this is a good idea? Who's against? We know how Sam feels.
We're split right down the middle.
Aren't we a microcosm of the medical community? I hate my job.
Sam, this organ procurement has to be flawless.
Every surgery has to be flawless.
I know.
It's just It's her baby's heart.
It's a baby's heart, and when we get one Look, if it were me, there's no one I'd rather have holding the scalpel than you.
- Well, it's a good thing it isn't you, then, isn't it? - Oh, Sam.
Look, Amelia's situation is tragic.
But just because her baby's going to die doesn't mean that it's okay for me to Rush the process.
Sam, I know I'm asking you to do the hard thing here, but when people we love need us, sometimes we have to compromise.
Today's lecture's on compromise? Because I remember the last one, you said, uh, if I wasn't all in, then I had to just walk away.
So which one is it, Addison? I know you saw me and Jake, and I probably owe you an explanation-- No, no, you don't have to explain why you gave an ultimatum, and when I couldn't answer for five seconds, you immediately moved on to someone else.
That definitely, definitely doesn't demand an explanation.
Your inability to answer, Sam, that was my answer.
Look, I don't want to talk-- I will recommend several excellent cardiac surgeons to Jake.
But beyond that, I can't be a part of this.
I can't.
was once done to me such a wicked, wicked Hey, handsome.
How was play practice? What was that about? There was a mother's day lunch at school.
All the moms came in, the kids gave 'em these scrapbooks that they made.
You gotta be kidding me.
- Why didn't you tell me? I woulda gone.
- I didn't know.
Well, we spoke to his teacher.
She shoulda said something.
She sent an invitation with a note on it.
Mason never gave it to us.
He threw it out.
I watch you fall away fall away I'm not praying.
This is the only position that doesn't make me insane.
Whoever decided a baby is supposed to tunnel its way out of my body through my vagina, I would like to have a serious conversation with them.
I think the only way to actually have that conversation is in fact by praying.
Don't be a wiseass.
Amelia, you understand that without any drugs, any intervention, you You could be in labor for another 20, even 30 hours? The darkest staircase At least let me help you.
Right there? No.
Stop.
Don't touch me.
Amelia-- If you touch me, I will cry.
I know I will.
It's stupid and it's weak, but I can't help it, and if I start crying I want to be strong.
I want to be strong and I want to get through this and I don't want to feel too much.
I don't want to cry.
You're in pain.
Please, just don't.
Ohh.
Aah.
Screw it.
Cry, Amelia.
No.
I'm not letting go.
I've got you.
I've got you.
Am I hopeless? I trust you, but where are you It's okay.
Walking to? I'm shocked.
I'm shocked.
Genuinely just Just shocked by how much I love him.
I want to take his pain away.
And I know I can't.
And it kills me.
It just It kills me.
You take my pain away.
Aw.
I remember kissing, back from when my husband wasn't separated from me by glass.
Mm.
Any news from the lawyer? Uh, yeah.
The lawyer's trying the best she can.
But Pete is I don't know.
I'm afraid he's gonna destroy himself.
I mean, he's stubborn.
He's so stubborn.
I'm afraid he's gonna stubborn himself into a life sentence.
He'll come around.
Well, his mother went to prison.
I mean, families perpetuate patterns.
Unintentionally, unconsciously, we repeat patterns.
What am I gonna tell my son? Hey.
Hey.
Addison.
Hmm? Stop trying to read Amelia's chart.
How is she? She have any decels on the fetal monitor? Is she progressing? I know she says she doesn't want drugs, but I think-- - What are you doing? - I'm asking.
You know I can't tell you anything.
I just want to help her.
I told you, you want to help her, get Sam to harvest the heart and the lungs.
Sam said no.
I tried.
But he said no.
Oh.
What? There are nine cardiothoracic surgeons in the area certified to do this kind of pediatric procedure.
I've been rejected by eight of them.
Sam makes nine.
I've been calling surgeons all day long.
Nobody wants to do this because they're cowards or they're I don't want to do this.
But I said that I would.
I told her I would do this for her.
Damn it.
She's in there doing the hardest thing I've ever seen, and I I promised her.
You been in to see her yet? She doesn't want to see me huh.
What? The Addison I know is a pushy bitch who would've given that fancy-pants, snooty, "double board certified neonatal surgeon" speech as an excuse and shoved her way into that room no matter what.
I just-- I just Every time I try-- I mean, I've dealt with cases so much worse than this, but Every time I try to go in there, I just-- I just I can't get myself to do it.
I can't do it either.
Been avoiding it.
I was trying to figure out why, and then This morning, I was looking at Mason, and I realized you're a mother.
We can't go in there because we're mothers.
Mason's changed me.
Henry's changed you.
We're softer.
I just realized, this past year, that you and I both became mothers without ever giving birth.
And she's gonna give birth Not get to be a mother.
Did Violet send you to tell me to cooperate? - No.
- To tell me to keep my mouth shut - No.
- Or better yet, to tell me to apologize? My son's mother died.
I know.
I-I was there.
She doesn't get to go to any special lunches at school, or see the science projects he brings home, or see him in the school play, or drop him off at Boy Scouts.
And what do you think she'd do just for a chance to be there, to see all that? You think maybe she'd swallow her pride? Do you think she'd keep her mouth shut? Do you think maybe she'd even apologize even though she doesn't think she did anything wrong? I hear that, Cooper, but-- There's no buts, Pete.
The-- I get you.
I am you.
I'm proud to a fault, I'm stubborn as hell, I'm willing to do the wrong thing for the right reason.
I get you, mostly.
But You have a wife who loves you and a son who needs you, and you have a chance to be there with them, for them.
I don't get you throwing away that chance.
Don't throw them away.
How much time do I have? You're going to help? I'm gonna pull in some favors and get you some surgeons.
I'm gonna fight the lawyers, but I can't promise anything.
Thank you.
You still need a cardiothoracic surgeon.
You still need Sam before I can declare a full transplant team.
- Okay.
- Lawyers may still say no.
But you are going to fight? But I am gonna fight.
I don't wanna be your buddy I may come around again So I just want you to understand why Why I can't be a part of your transplant team.
I understand.
Okay, because, um-- You're gonna say it's because, technically, a child with a working brain stem can't be declared brain dead even though he'll never walk or talk or move or eat, even though he's missing the parts of his brain that he needs to have a life.
Not just be alive, but have a life To love, to think, to know words and feelings, to be conscious.
You're gonna talk to me about medicine and technicalities and the failings of science.
Yeah.
But the thing is, that's not why you won't do the harvest.
Well, until we know, uh, with Medical certainty, you know, until the law-- It's because it's unimaginable.
What I'm asking you to do is unimaginable.
It's horrible.
It's excruciating.
I'm asking you to help dismantle my baby for parts.
And there's no piece of anyone's soul that can hold that and feel okay.
But I'm asking.
I'm asking you.
I'm his mother.
And I'm asking you to do this.
And you want to know why? It's because I did a little research, Sam.
Science.
In Chicago, there's this baby girl, 6 weeks old, with pulmonary hypertension who needs new lungs.
Outside Detroit there is a 10-day-old boy who was born blind, but could see if he had new corneas.
I read this blog about this 14-month-old kid named Gideon in San Diego who's been on a heart-lung machine for months because he needs one tiny valve in his heart.
There's burned babies who need skin.
There's infants who need livers, and toddlers who need kidneys, and there's even this one who needs a multiple-organ transplant.
My baby Could save all of those babies.
He could be responsible for kids leaving the hospital and going home and growing up and falling in love and having sex and arguing with their boyfriends and making mistakes and living and maybe not ruining their lives with drugs.
What I'm asking you to do is unimaginable.
But it's also everything those other mothers could ever imagine.
I'm his mom.
And I'm asking you to do this.
If I can get there, why can't you? I mean, does it occur to you that somebody else might want some of those? No.
I mean, the hand to the mouth to the box, it's Any news-- Babies, bail? You think we'd be standing here if there was any news? Amelia's still in labor, Pete's still in jail.
Oh, cookies for breakfast? It was his idea.
Hey.
Hey.
- Is that yours, Addison? - No.
- No, that's me.
- Violet? Charlotte.
Amelia's Baby's on the way.
Are you coming? The hospital lawyers haven't signed off on this yet.
I can still do the delivery.
I'm just saying, you can't harvest any organs until we get explicit permission.
Fine.
So you're not gonna do anything-- Charlotte, I heard you.
Jake, I want to go in with you.
- No.
- Jake-- Until she asks for you, the answer is no.
Sorry, Addison.
Jake.
I'm right here.
Jake.
Aah! Ah! Oh, well, we should call Violet, let her know what's going on.
Yeah.
You know, women who use cocaine are at greater risk than the rest of the population for all sorts of complications.
You know, there's placental abruption, and-- and-- and Why do you know that? I did a lot of research after Amelia told me she was pregnant.
It was my way of being supportive.
Not that she wants my support anymore.
Mm.
It was oxy.
What? Amelia's drug of choice She was doing oxy, not cocaine.
So? So maybe everything will turn out all right.
Well, sure, because oxy's like a prenatal vitamin.
Prenatal-- Somebody really should redecorate this waiting room, you know? Come here.
I'm sorry you have to be here.
I don't mind.
Oh, God! Oh, make it stop! No, I don't want to do this.
I don't want to do this anymore.
You're doing great, okay? But I-I need you to stop pushing for a while.
I have to.
If I don't push, it hurts too much.
This is a unicorn baby.
I shouldn't have to do this with a unicorn baby.
I want this to be over.
Ryan should be here.
I want Ryan.
Amelia, you're almost there.
No.
No, this is too hard.
I have to push.
No, no, no.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Oh, God! It hurts! I want some drugs.
- Hang in there.
- I can't.
- I can't do this.
- Yes, you can.
Addison-- I don't want her here.
Yes, you do.
I don't.
I don't.
I don't want you here.
Yes, you do, Amelia.
Addie Addie My baby's gonna die.
I know.
I am so, so sorry.
I'm calling him a unicorn baby.
You are? That's great.
I have to push.
If I don't push, it hurts too much.
We need to control her labor.
Okay, Amelia, look, I know that you want to push, but you have to wait.
- No.
- Amelia, yes.
- Ohh! - Hold on to me.
Addie - Addie, I want to push.
- I know.
- I want to push.
I want to push.
- Just wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Shh.
Wait.
- Okay, now, Amelia.
- Push.
- Aah! Aah.
- Push.
with the world outside into arms so wide Oh, my God.
How did you-- Why aren't you-- Bail.
I kept my mouth shut.
I cooperated.
I knew you I knew you You did a good job.
Is he How is he? He's okay.
We're going to take him now.
And I'm going to move you off the obstetrics floor as fast as I can manage it, okay? Wait.
I want to see him.
Are you sure? I want to see him.
Are you ready? Yeah.
Keep you awake baby, close your eyes I'll take the weight He's beautiful.
If I go to speak I will refrain and be the song just be the song when inner scars He's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.
Show on your face Shh.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Your sense of place Hey.
Are you Uh, waiting for Charlotte, just like you are.
What changed your mind? I don't know.
I just I got there.
Hey, Charlotte.
Did they say-- Did they agree to do it? - No.
- You're kidding me.
I'm not.
Screw it.
We're gonna do it anyway.
Inner scars show on your face and darkness hides This is my son.
Your sense of place What's happening? What-- What's wrong? He's in respiratory distress.
No.
Not yet.
I'm not ready.
It's okay to change your mind.
If you want to just hold your boy for as long as he has, we'll do that.
If not, we, uh, we need to give him to the transplant team right now.
Flow down all my mountains darlin' fill my valleys flow down Your father's waiting for you.
His name is Ryan, and he's waiting for you.
So you won't be lonely.
Flow down all my mountains darlin' fill my valleys and when you run far from my eyes then I will come This is for Sacramento.
Sacramento.
Sacramento.
But I won't speak This one's for San Diego.
San Diego.
San Diego.
Light This is for Boston.
Boston.
Boston.
Song flow down all my mountains Syringe.
Darlin', fill my valleys flow down all my mountains Turn that thing off.
Fill my valleys flow down all my mountains darlin' fill my valleys flow down That's for Chicago.
Chicago.
Chicago.
Fill my valleys We should tell Amelia.
We should stay-- No, I got this.
Darlin' Thank you.
Valleys flow down all my mountains darlin' fill my valleys flow down all my mountains darlin' Thank you.
Flow down all my mountains darlin' I just want to go home And hug my kid.
Yeah.
You-- you knew what she meant when she, uh, when she called it a-a unicorn baby? When she was 12 years old, she was She was obsessed with unicorns because they were magical and they could do great things, you know? This baby, its, uh Its organs are gonna go all over the country and do great things.
It's-- it's magical.
It's It's her unicorn baby.
So you, um You maybe wanna You wanna get something to eat? I mean If you're hungry.
Yeah, I am.
Um I have to get back to see Henry and relieve my nanny.
Yeah, I have some stuff I can take care of here, too, but, um I can, uh, I can meet at your place.
Say an hour and a half, bring Chinese? Yeah, I'd like that.
Did your dad tell you what was going on? He said a baby was being born mostly dead.
So they're donating his organs so other babies can live.
That's right.
That baby over there, she was born so premature, her lungs never had a chance to form properly.
And because of science, because of medicine, she got some new lungs, and now she's gonna live a whole life.
She shoulda been dead.
If she was born ten years ago, she would've been dead.
And now she's alive.
Miracle.
You think if my mom got sick ten years from now, she'd still be alive? I don't know.
But I think that idea's what might make you an incredible doctor one day.
You think I could be a doctor? I know you could.
I'm not good with nature or soccer the way your mama was.
But you're a good doctor.
I am.
Is this weird that I took you to see the sick babies? No, it's not weird.
I don't know what to call you.
I already have a mom.
And I don't want to take your mama's place, Mason.
But I am happy to stand in for her any time you want to let me.
How about mama? What's that? I already have a mom, but how about I call you mama, like you call your mom? That sounds, uh Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
to take me to take me, too after so many words Hey.
Still nothing's heard What time is it? Uh, it's It's about 9:00.
So if someone can see me now let them see you You know, I've been here all day, just in case you were wondering.
Worrying about me? Well, you're my best friend, which is sad, because you're 8 years old and you don't return my affections, but ah, well, there it is.
You're my best friend.
It's okay to laugh.
It happens.
So if someone could help me now I had a baby, Sheldon.
Mm For a few minutes there I was someone's mom.
See you through You're still someone's mom.
He's just not-- not here anymore.
We've all gotta do I missed you.
Ooh and so you wouldn't be wrong bein' free, you and me It's okay to cry.
It happens.
Mm-mm mm-mm ah Are you okay? Ohh What if I blew it? Ah-ah, ahh What if I have to go back to prison Like, for a long time? Mm-mm, mm-mm mm-mm What if I blew it, Violet? Mm-mm Hey.
Hey.
Where's Keisha? I sent her home.
Why? Because after the kind of day that I had-- That we've had Hi, baby.
You want to see your kid.
Well, he's not your kid, remember? Ooh, boy.
You are gonna make this as difficult as possible, aren't you? You know what? We're both exhausted, Sam.
It's been a really long day, and I don't have the energy to fight.
- Well, I do.
- Sam-- All right, I have the energy to fight for you.
I'm-- I'm fighting for you right now.
What? When you asked me if-- if I was all in, I-I should've said yes, so I'm-- I'm saying yes now.
- Well, it's too late.
- I love you.
You know, I just told you, it's too late.
- I'm in love with you.
It's not too late.
- No-- It's never too late.
When you had the chance, you didn't want me, you didn't want to have a family, but then you see me with Jake, and then-- I don't care about Jake.
You've been with him, what, two minutes? Look, you were right.
I I didn't want a baby.
And I don't.
I don't want a baby.
I want this baby.
I want Henry.
And I want you and me and Henry to be a family.
I was afraid of that before.
I just-- I couldn't imagine being a new father and having a whole new family.
It was unimaginable, but I let 'em in But I can imagine it now.
I can see it.
So I'm all in.
I'm all in and I'm fighting for you.
Look I know that this is, uh-- Sam, what are you doing? Wait.
Wait a minute.
This is not, as, uh, traditional, but for now Uh, Addison Forbes Montgomery, I love you.
Will you marry me?
I mean, I am So, so So grateful, you know, but I have Everything I've ever wanted.
I mean, isn't that the point of therapy, to make your life into what you want it to be? I have everything.
I have it all.
I'm a seeker true believer a long time ago What are we, uh, what are we doing? We're making out.
The same thing that we have been doing-- Just making out.
Mm.
I should probably close the blinds.
Okay.
To be continued.
Hi.
Hi.
I don't want to bother you.
Oh, you're not bothering Are you okay? I'm having a baby with no brain.
I'm fine.
I'm great.
I'm horrible.
I'm devastated But okay.
We talked about this.
It's traumatic.
And so it's perfectly natural, in the weeks prior to your due date, to develop feelings of-- of fear and despair - No.
- And-- I'm-- I'm having the baby right now.
I'm in labor, Jake.
I don't need to be here yet.
I'm barely dilated.
I could wait it out at home-- Actually, you, uh, you do need to be here.
You paged them? Yep.
And what did they say? I'm going to go talk to them as soon as I leave you.
Okay.
No drugs.
No epidural, no pain meds, no sedatives.
- I mean it.
- Okay.
I want you to move me off the OB floor the minute I'm done delivering.
I-I don't want to be on this floor.
Okay.
And wrap his head right away.
I don't want to see it.
Okay.
Just take him away Before I can see him.
I-I don't want to hear him cry.
Just-- Before he cries.
Amelia Right.
A baby without a frontal lobe can't cry.
I saw one once when I was an intern.
They make this kind of squeaking noise.
Brainless babies squeak.
I mean, it's the only way you can describe the noise they make, but I mean, you'd think that it would be awful, but actually, it's kinda Life will out, you know? I know.
Anyway Take him away before he squeaks.
So Pete's just gonna admit that he took his patient off the ventilator? Yep, he's convinced he did the right thing.
It's gonna make it hard for his lawyer.
What's going on? Is something wrong with Pete? No.
Amelia's in labor.
Oh, God.
Okay, I-I'm gonna go see-- Jake says we should all stay here.
Well, he might need a consult.
Amelia made it clear that she doesn't want you in there, so-- - Really, Sam? - Hey, hey.
- Is she in labor? - Yeah.
Where's Coop? He's with Violet.
Woman nearly broke down our door at the crack of dawn, - wanting to scream about Pete.
- How is she? How do you think she is? Terrified, blaming everyone but Pete.
Jake Just give me a minute.
Okay, first I want to say, that as Amelia's doctor, no one goes near her unless you're sure you can be supportive.
Why wouldn't we be supportive? Jake, what are you talking about? Amelia wants to donate her baby's organs.
How long have you known about this? - Since she chose me as her OB.
- That's murder.
Sam, please, do not get religious on me here.
This has nothing to do with religion.
The American Academy of Pediatrics states I know what it states.
That a declaration of brain death has to be made before procuring the organs.
And since there's no brain in a child that's anencephalic-- And still medical ethicists are split on whether it's acceptable to retrieve organs from them.
Why not just wait till the baby dies? Because by then, it'll be too late.
The organs will deteriorate, and they will no longer be viable for transplant.
I need to go consult our lawyer.
Charlotte, Charlotte We're talking about Amelia here.
I know it's Amelia, which is why I'm not revoking your privileges and throwing you out of here.
This is a person I love.
I need to consult the lawyers that represent this hospital to see what they think, because I think this is killing a baby.
Calling the case of Peter Wilder.
Counselors.
The state contends that Dr.
Wilder showed reckless disregard both for the life of his patient and for the laws of this state when he intentionally-- He pulled a Kevorkian? - My client followed the instructions-- - A Kevorkian? Are you serious? - Pete.
- Dr.
Wilder.
- My patient did not want to be kept alive by life support.
- Stop talking.
Your client killed a guy.
He doesn't look too sorry.
- Your honor, if you-- - I'm not sorry.
- Oh, Pete.
- I am not sorry.
Good.
You made this easy.
Bail is denied.
You have something to say or are you just gonna watch me? 'Cause this gown is backless, so when I turn around to go that way, you're gonna get a really great view of my maternity panties.
That was quite a bombshell Jake dropped on us today about you donating the baby's organs.
I'm like that All bombshell-y.
I was wondering how you came to your decision.
To my decision? My decision to donate the organs of my brainless baby? Amelia.
I'm having A contraction.
Is there Can I do anything? It hurts.
Don't touch me.
Are you all right? I'm fine.
Contractions come and go.
That's what happens when you're having a baby, even a unicorn baby.
A unicorn baby? Well, that's an interesting choice of words.
Sheldon, I'm doing a thing here.
What do you want? Sometimes people think they can circumvent the grieving process by focusing on an external goal.
And while concentrating on the benefits of organ donation is a perfectly valid short-term coping mechanism, it can't replace the work you need to do to deal with your own profound loss.
The work I need to do? The Are you freakin' kidding me? Look at me.
This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life.
I'm having a baby.
I'm in labor.
Yay.
I am dealing with my loss, Sheldon.
I am swimming in it.
I just wanted to make sure you thought this through.
I I just want to help you-- No, you just don't want to feel guilty.
Get out.
Please.
How do you even declare brain death in an anencephalic child? Lack of reflexes, pupillary responses.
No.
Those criteria don't apply here.
They indicate an absence of brain stem activity.
Amelia's baby has a rudimentary brain stem.
It'll never gain consciousness.
Exactly.
There is zero chance it will ever have any kind of meaningful life.
Will you stop saying "it"? Because the baby will be alive.
It's not a life I'd want, but it's not a life I'd kill.
Stop saying "it.
" Say "he.
" Say "him.
" You have to kill him to recover the organs.
Look, Sam, I need your help to harvest the heart and the lungs.
Amelia needs your help.
I want to help, and I-I don't know how.
Should I call Derek? No, she expressly asked me not to call her family.
She wants to do this on her own.
Well, I have to do something.
I can't just-- - I-I have to do something.
- You want to help? Sam is the best cardio guy at St.
Ambrose.
Get him to harvest the heart and lungs.
Do you need anything? No.
I made my cell mate my bitch, so I'm good.
Little prison humor.
Sorry.
Roberta's gonna appeal the judge's decision.
She says you should get bail.
She said that the judge was prejudiced.
That judge was an ass.
Hey, Pete, I'm freaking out here, okay? - I'm freaking out.
I-- - Okay, okay.
Hey.
I love you.
How's Lucas? He's good.
He misses you.
I told him that you were out of town for a while.
We shouldn't lie.
We shouldn't lie? What should I tell him, Pete? Really, what? Daddy's in jail because that's where they put Accused murderers? I did the right thing.
You did the right thing by your patient.
You did not do the right thing by our family.
You did not do the right thing by our son.
You need to cooperate.
I will not say that I'm sorry.
Pete, I get that you're not sorry.
I don't need you to be sorry.
I need you to not be in prison.
So please say whatever you have to say.
Cooperate.
Bail was denied entirely? - Yeah, entirely.
- But they're appealing that, right? They can appeal that.
- They are.
- Because it seems a little extreme.
Well, he did kill someone.
S-someone who wasn't going to recover, someone who's partner had asked him to-- Pete knew the law.
He broke the law.
And he put himself and the hospital at risk when he did it.
This is not helpful.
Can we not-- Can we just not debate it for once? This is a mistake.
Amelia's in a very bad place.
Did you just see her? I couldn't stay away even though it's just possible - that she hates me enough to kill me.
- Yeah, if I don't do it first.
I told you not to go see her if you couldn't be supportive.
- I was supporting her.
- The argument is pointless.
The hospital still hasn't signed off on the organ procurement.
And they shouldn't.
Do you know how many babies die ever year - waiting for organ transplants? - Charlotte, you have to fight here.
Who thinks this is a good idea? Who's against? We know how Sam feels.
We're split right down the middle.
Aren't we a microcosm of the medical community? I hate my job.
Sam, this organ procurement has to be flawless.
Every surgery has to be flawless.
I know.
It's just It's her baby's heart.
It's a baby's heart, and when we get one Look, if it were me, there's no one I'd rather have holding the scalpel than you.
- Well, it's a good thing it isn't you, then, isn't it? - Oh, Sam.
Look, Amelia's situation is tragic.
But just because her baby's going to die doesn't mean that it's okay for me to Rush the process.
Sam, I know I'm asking you to do the hard thing here, but when people we love need us, sometimes we have to compromise.
Today's lecture's on compromise? Because I remember the last one, you said, uh, if I wasn't all in, then I had to just walk away.
So which one is it, Addison? I know you saw me and Jake, and I probably owe you an explanation-- No, no, you don't have to explain why you gave an ultimatum, and when I couldn't answer for five seconds, you immediately moved on to someone else.
That definitely, definitely doesn't demand an explanation.
Your inability to answer, Sam, that was my answer.
Look, I don't want to talk-- I will recommend several excellent cardiac surgeons to Jake.
But beyond that, I can't be a part of this.
I can't.
was once done to me such a wicked, wicked Hey, handsome.
How was play practice? What was that about? There was a mother's day lunch at school.
All the moms came in, the kids gave 'em these scrapbooks that they made.
You gotta be kidding me.
- Why didn't you tell me? I woulda gone.
- I didn't know.
Well, we spoke to his teacher.
She shoulda said something.
She sent an invitation with a note on it.
Mason never gave it to us.
He threw it out.
I watch you fall away fall away I'm not praying.
This is the only position that doesn't make me insane.
Whoever decided a baby is supposed to tunnel its way out of my body through my vagina, I would like to have a serious conversation with them.
I think the only way to actually have that conversation is in fact by praying.
Don't be a wiseass.
Amelia, you understand that without any drugs, any intervention, you You could be in labor for another 20, even 30 hours? The darkest staircase At least let me help you.
Right there? No.
Stop.
Don't touch me.
Amelia-- If you touch me, I will cry.
I know I will.
It's stupid and it's weak, but I can't help it, and if I start crying I want to be strong.
I want to be strong and I want to get through this and I don't want to feel too much.
I don't want to cry.
You're in pain.
Please, just don't.
Ohh.
Aah.
Screw it.
Cry, Amelia.
No.
I'm not letting go.
I've got you.
I've got you.
Am I hopeless? I trust you, but where are you It's okay.
Walking to? I'm shocked.
I'm shocked.
Genuinely just Just shocked by how much I love him.
I want to take his pain away.
And I know I can't.
And it kills me.
It just It kills me.
You take my pain away.
Aw.
I remember kissing, back from when my husband wasn't separated from me by glass.
Mm.
Any news from the lawyer? Uh, yeah.
The lawyer's trying the best she can.
But Pete is I don't know.
I'm afraid he's gonna destroy himself.
I mean, he's stubborn.
He's so stubborn.
I'm afraid he's gonna stubborn himself into a life sentence.
He'll come around.
Well, his mother went to prison.
I mean, families perpetuate patterns.
Unintentionally, unconsciously, we repeat patterns.
What am I gonna tell my son? Hey.
Hey.
Addison.
Hmm? Stop trying to read Amelia's chart.
How is she? She have any decels on the fetal monitor? Is she progressing? I know she says she doesn't want drugs, but I think-- - What are you doing? - I'm asking.
You know I can't tell you anything.
I just want to help her.
I told you, you want to help her, get Sam to harvest the heart and the lungs.
Sam said no.
I tried.
But he said no.
Oh.
What? There are nine cardiothoracic surgeons in the area certified to do this kind of pediatric procedure.
I've been rejected by eight of them.
Sam makes nine.
I've been calling surgeons all day long.
Nobody wants to do this because they're cowards or they're I don't want to do this.
But I said that I would.
I told her I would do this for her.
Damn it.
She's in there doing the hardest thing I've ever seen, and I I promised her.
You been in to see her yet? She doesn't want to see me huh.
What? The Addison I know is a pushy bitch who would've given that fancy-pants, snooty, "double board certified neonatal surgeon" speech as an excuse and shoved her way into that room no matter what.
I just-- I just Every time I try-- I mean, I've dealt with cases so much worse than this, but Every time I try to go in there, I just-- I just I can't get myself to do it.
I can't do it either.
Been avoiding it.
I was trying to figure out why, and then This morning, I was looking at Mason, and I realized you're a mother.
We can't go in there because we're mothers.
Mason's changed me.
Henry's changed you.
We're softer.
I just realized, this past year, that you and I both became mothers without ever giving birth.
And she's gonna give birth Not get to be a mother.
Did Violet send you to tell me to cooperate? - No.
- To tell me to keep my mouth shut - No.
- Or better yet, to tell me to apologize? My son's mother died.
I know.
I-I was there.
She doesn't get to go to any special lunches at school, or see the science projects he brings home, or see him in the school play, or drop him off at Boy Scouts.
And what do you think she'd do just for a chance to be there, to see all that? You think maybe she'd swallow her pride? Do you think she'd keep her mouth shut? Do you think maybe she'd even apologize even though she doesn't think she did anything wrong? I hear that, Cooper, but-- There's no buts, Pete.
The-- I get you.
I am you.
I'm proud to a fault, I'm stubborn as hell, I'm willing to do the wrong thing for the right reason.
I get you, mostly.
But You have a wife who loves you and a son who needs you, and you have a chance to be there with them, for them.
I don't get you throwing away that chance.
Don't throw them away.
How much time do I have? You're going to help? I'm gonna pull in some favors and get you some surgeons.
I'm gonna fight the lawyers, but I can't promise anything.
Thank you.
You still need a cardiothoracic surgeon.
You still need Sam before I can declare a full transplant team.
- Okay.
- Lawyers may still say no.
But you are going to fight? But I am gonna fight.
I don't wanna be your buddy I may come around again So I just want you to understand why Why I can't be a part of your transplant team.
I understand.
Okay, because, um-- You're gonna say it's because, technically, a child with a working brain stem can't be declared brain dead even though he'll never walk or talk or move or eat, even though he's missing the parts of his brain that he needs to have a life.
Not just be alive, but have a life To love, to think, to know words and feelings, to be conscious.
You're gonna talk to me about medicine and technicalities and the failings of science.
Yeah.
But the thing is, that's not why you won't do the harvest.
Well, until we know, uh, with Medical certainty, you know, until the law-- It's because it's unimaginable.
What I'm asking you to do is unimaginable.
It's horrible.
It's excruciating.
I'm asking you to help dismantle my baby for parts.
And there's no piece of anyone's soul that can hold that and feel okay.
But I'm asking.
I'm asking you.
I'm his mother.
And I'm asking you to do this.
And you want to know why? It's because I did a little research, Sam.
Science.
In Chicago, there's this baby girl, 6 weeks old, with pulmonary hypertension who needs new lungs.
Outside Detroit there is a 10-day-old boy who was born blind, but could see if he had new corneas.
I read this blog about this 14-month-old kid named Gideon in San Diego who's been on a heart-lung machine for months because he needs one tiny valve in his heart.
There's burned babies who need skin.
There's infants who need livers, and toddlers who need kidneys, and there's even this one who needs a multiple-organ transplant.
My baby Could save all of those babies.
He could be responsible for kids leaving the hospital and going home and growing up and falling in love and having sex and arguing with their boyfriends and making mistakes and living and maybe not ruining their lives with drugs.
What I'm asking you to do is unimaginable.
But it's also everything those other mothers could ever imagine.
I'm his mom.
And I'm asking you to do this.
If I can get there, why can't you? I mean, does it occur to you that somebody else might want some of those? No.
I mean, the hand to the mouth to the box, it's Any news-- Babies, bail? You think we'd be standing here if there was any news? Amelia's still in labor, Pete's still in jail.
Oh, cookies for breakfast? It was his idea.
Hey.
Hey.
- Is that yours, Addison? - No.
- No, that's me.
- Violet? Charlotte.
Amelia's Baby's on the way.
Are you coming? The hospital lawyers haven't signed off on this yet.
I can still do the delivery.
I'm just saying, you can't harvest any organs until we get explicit permission.
Fine.
So you're not gonna do anything-- Charlotte, I heard you.
Jake, I want to go in with you.
- No.
- Jake-- Until she asks for you, the answer is no.
Sorry, Addison.
Jake.
I'm right here.
Jake.
Aah! Ah! Oh, well, we should call Violet, let her know what's going on.
Yeah.
You know, women who use cocaine are at greater risk than the rest of the population for all sorts of complications.
You know, there's placental abruption, and-- and-- and Why do you know that? I did a lot of research after Amelia told me she was pregnant.
It was my way of being supportive.
Not that she wants my support anymore.
Mm.
It was oxy.
What? Amelia's drug of choice She was doing oxy, not cocaine.
So? So maybe everything will turn out all right.
Well, sure, because oxy's like a prenatal vitamin.
Prenatal-- Somebody really should redecorate this waiting room, you know? Come here.
I'm sorry you have to be here.
I don't mind.
Oh, God! Oh, make it stop! No, I don't want to do this.
I don't want to do this anymore.
You're doing great, okay? But I-I need you to stop pushing for a while.
I have to.
If I don't push, it hurts too much.
This is a unicorn baby.
I shouldn't have to do this with a unicorn baby.
I want this to be over.
Ryan should be here.
I want Ryan.
Amelia, you're almost there.
No.
No, this is too hard.
I have to push.
No, no, no.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Oh, God! It hurts! I want some drugs.
- Hang in there.
- I can't.
- I can't do this.
- Yes, you can.
Addison-- I don't want her here.
Yes, you do.
I don't.
I don't.
I don't want you here.
Yes, you do, Amelia.
Addie Addie My baby's gonna die.
I know.
I am so, so sorry.
I'm calling him a unicorn baby.
You are? That's great.
I have to push.
If I don't push, it hurts too much.
We need to control her labor.
Okay, Amelia, look, I know that you want to push, but you have to wait.
- No.
- Amelia, yes.
- Ohh! - Hold on to me.
Addie - Addie, I want to push.
- I know.
- I want to push.
I want to push.
- Just wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Shh.
Wait.
- Okay, now, Amelia.
- Push.
- Aah! Aah.
- Push.
with the world outside into arms so wide Oh, my God.
How did you-- Why aren't you-- Bail.
I kept my mouth shut.
I cooperated.
I knew you I knew you You did a good job.
Is he How is he? He's okay.
We're going to take him now.
And I'm going to move you off the obstetrics floor as fast as I can manage it, okay? Wait.
I want to see him.
Are you sure? I want to see him.
Are you ready? Yeah.
Keep you awake baby, close your eyes I'll take the weight He's beautiful.
If I go to speak I will refrain and be the song just be the song when inner scars He's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.
Show on your face Shh.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Your sense of place Hey.
Are you Uh, waiting for Charlotte, just like you are.
What changed your mind? I don't know.
I just I got there.
Hey, Charlotte.
Did they say-- Did they agree to do it? - No.
- You're kidding me.
I'm not.
Screw it.
We're gonna do it anyway.
Inner scars show on your face and darkness hides This is my son.
Your sense of place What's happening? What-- What's wrong? He's in respiratory distress.
No.
Not yet.
I'm not ready.
It's okay to change your mind.
If you want to just hold your boy for as long as he has, we'll do that.
If not, we, uh, we need to give him to the transplant team right now.
Flow down all my mountains darlin' fill my valleys flow down Your father's waiting for you.
His name is Ryan, and he's waiting for you.
So you won't be lonely.
Flow down all my mountains darlin' fill my valleys and when you run far from my eyes then I will come This is for Sacramento.
Sacramento.
Sacramento.
But I won't speak This one's for San Diego.
San Diego.
San Diego.
Light This is for Boston.
Boston.
Boston.
Song flow down all my mountains Syringe.
Darlin', fill my valleys flow down all my mountains Turn that thing off.
Fill my valleys flow down all my mountains darlin' fill my valleys flow down That's for Chicago.
Chicago.
Chicago.
Fill my valleys We should tell Amelia.
We should stay-- No, I got this.
Darlin' Thank you.
Valleys flow down all my mountains darlin' fill my valleys flow down all my mountains darlin' Thank you.
Flow down all my mountains darlin' I just want to go home And hug my kid.
Yeah.
You-- you knew what she meant when she, uh, when she called it a-a unicorn baby? When she was 12 years old, she was She was obsessed with unicorns because they were magical and they could do great things, you know? This baby, its, uh Its organs are gonna go all over the country and do great things.
It's-- it's magical.
It's It's her unicorn baby.
So you, um You maybe wanna You wanna get something to eat? I mean If you're hungry.
Yeah, I am.
Um I have to get back to see Henry and relieve my nanny.
Yeah, I have some stuff I can take care of here, too, but, um I can, uh, I can meet at your place.
Say an hour and a half, bring Chinese? Yeah, I'd like that.
Did your dad tell you what was going on? He said a baby was being born mostly dead.
So they're donating his organs so other babies can live.
That's right.
That baby over there, she was born so premature, her lungs never had a chance to form properly.
And because of science, because of medicine, she got some new lungs, and now she's gonna live a whole life.
She shoulda been dead.
If she was born ten years ago, she would've been dead.
And now she's alive.
Miracle.
You think if my mom got sick ten years from now, she'd still be alive? I don't know.
But I think that idea's what might make you an incredible doctor one day.
You think I could be a doctor? I know you could.
I'm not good with nature or soccer the way your mama was.
But you're a good doctor.
I am.
Is this weird that I took you to see the sick babies? No, it's not weird.
I don't know what to call you.
I already have a mom.
And I don't want to take your mama's place, Mason.
But I am happy to stand in for her any time you want to let me.
How about mama? What's that? I already have a mom, but how about I call you mama, like you call your mom? That sounds, uh Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
to take me to take me, too after so many words Hey.
Still nothing's heard What time is it? Uh, it's It's about 9:00.
So if someone can see me now let them see you You know, I've been here all day, just in case you were wondering.
Worrying about me? Well, you're my best friend, which is sad, because you're 8 years old and you don't return my affections, but ah, well, there it is.
You're my best friend.
It's okay to laugh.
It happens.
So if someone could help me now I had a baby, Sheldon.
Mm For a few minutes there I was someone's mom.
See you through You're still someone's mom.
He's just not-- not here anymore.
We've all gotta do I missed you.
Ooh and so you wouldn't be wrong bein' free, you and me It's okay to cry.
It happens.
Mm-mm mm-mm ah Are you okay? Ohh What if I blew it? Ah-ah, ahh What if I have to go back to prison Like, for a long time? Mm-mm, mm-mm mm-mm What if I blew it, Violet? Mm-mm Hey.
Hey.
Where's Keisha? I sent her home.
Why? Because after the kind of day that I had-- That we've had Hi, baby.
You want to see your kid.
Well, he's not your kid, remember? Ooh, boy.
You are gonna make this as difficult as possible, aren't you? You know what? We're both exhausted, Sam.
It's been a really long day, and I don't have the energy to fight.
- Well, I do.
- Sam-- All right, I have the energy to fight for you.
I'm-- I'm fighting for you right now.
What? When you asked me if-- if I was all in, I-I should've said yes, so I'm-- I'm saying yes now.
- Well, it's too late.
- I love you.
You know, I just told you, it's too late.
- I'm in love with you.
It's not too late.
- No-- It's never too late.
When you had the chance, you didn't want me, you didn't want to have a family, but then you see me with Jake, and then-- I don't care about Jake.
You've been with him, what, two minutes? Look, you were right.
I I didn't want a baby.
And I don't.
I don't want a baby.
I want this baby.
I want Henry.
And I want you and me and Henry to be a family.
I was afraid of that before.
I just-- I couldn't imagine being a new father and having a whole new family.
It was unimaginable, but I let 'em in But I can imagine it now.
I can see it.
So I'm all in.
I'm all in and I'm fighting for you.
Look I know that this is, uh-- Sam, what are you doing? Wait.
Wait a minute.
This is not, as, uh, traditional, but for now Uh, Addison Forbes Montgomery, I love you.
Will you marry me?