My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic s05e23 Episode Script
The Hooffields and McColts
Does everypony have their copy of Wuthering Hooves? Hooray! I love Furry Friends' Book Club! Now, let's discuss the theme of nature as it applies to Hoofcliff's love.
Did somepony leave a light on? Oh, it's me.
Oh! It's me! We'll continue this discussion when I get back! You're here! Isn't this exciting?! Oh! You were called, too! Thank goodness.
I feel so much better going with a friend.
I was about to come and get you, but then I got distracted.
Oh.
Ever since the map called us, I've been doing a ton of research.
Testing out potential friendship problems.
Diversifying my solution portfolio.
Ever since the map called us? But that happened five minutes ago.
I know! But I wanna be one hundred percent prepared! I mean, I'm the Princess of Friendship.
How would it look if I couldn't solve a friendship problem? Oh, I'm so lucky I'm being sent with you.
Speaking of which, where're we going? The Smokey Mountains! Ooh, I've never been there before.
Neither have I.
And there isn't a lot of information on them.
All I could find was this.
The Smokey Mountains harbor the most beautiful valley in all of Equestria, between its two majestic mountain peaks.
That's gorgeous.
And where there's nature, there's a ton of animal friends! I can't wait to get started! I'm a little nervous since that's all I could find.
I usually like to be a bit more prepared.
You seem pretty prepared to me.
Are those for us? Yup! I've prepared our things.
Snacks, books, blankets, books.
You said "books" twice.
There are a lot of books.
Ooh.
Whadaya think our friendship problem's gonna be? I don't know.
But I'm sure we'll figure it out.
Do you think it'll be a problem about lying? I'm sure we'll find out when we get there.
You're right.
Ooh, could it be probably two friends just randomly deciding to do something together, but they forget the third friend, and the third friend feels left out? Or where one friend tells another friend's secret after they ask them not to? We'll know very, very soon.
Since we're almost there.
Here.
Lemme get that.
Thank you.
Sorry I've been a little skiddly-bopty-boo.
I just can't believe this is finally happening! What in Equestria is happening? It's nothing like your book said it would be! Oh, boy.
I'm feeling very unprepared.
Where do we even start? Maybe by figuring out where the flying pumpkins are coming from? Readyaimfire!! Um, hi.
Hello.
Excuse us, but what are you doing? We're pumpkinin' our neighbors! Yes, but, um, why are you pumpkining your neighbors? Well, because the McColts are just plain rotten.
Hey, wait a tick.
Who are you two?! Yer not spies for the McColts, are ya? I am Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship.
And I'm here to solve your friendship problem.
I'm Fluttershy, andum I'm here, too.
Ma Hooffield.
Pleased to meet ya, but yer wastin' yer time.
We don't have a friendship problem.
We havea McColt problem.
And there's absolutely no friendship there.
Well, maybe there could be if we figure out what the McColts did to make you so mad.
Oh, they've done so many things.
Why just today, they shot pebbles at our farmhouse an' wrecked it.
See, we're not very good at buildin' so, all it took was a little pebble.
But still! Oh, no! I know what to do.
We're gonna talk with these McColts and hear their side of the story.
Once we have all the facts, we can put an end to this using reason and rationale.
Good plan.
That's why she's the Princess.
In the meantime, could you please call off the pumpkining? Oh, all right.
Thanks.
C'mon, Fluttershy.
State yer business! Don't even bother.
They're probably spies for the Hooffields.
Hey, wait! You're an Alicorn! I thought just the three Princesses were Alicorns.
There are four alicorn princesses in Equestria now.
I am Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship.
And I'm Fluttershy.
We have a new princess? When did that happen? And how did the Hooffields come by a princess spy? We are not spies! Why does everypony assume we're spies? Because we don't get a lot of visitors.
I'm Big Daddy McColt.
You caught us at a weird time.
We're in the middle of a giant feud with our TERRIBLE NEIGHBORS!!! Well, actually, that's why we're here.
To solve your problem with the Hooffields.
So you're here to help us get rid of 'em.
No! That's not what I meant at all! Well, if you ain't fer us, yer agin us.
We are not on anypony's side.
We're here to help you become friends again.
Well, that's gon' be hard.
I don't believe we've ever been friends with the Hooffields! But you could be! They're just really upset you ruined their farmhouse.
Wait a hog-wogglin' minute! We only did that because the Hooffields pulled a pin out of our wagon wheel! A whole week's worth of food rollin' down the mountain.
Us McColts are mighty fine builders but we don't know the first thing about farmin'.
We have to travel a ways away to buy our food.
Now, we'll be stuck eatin' the pumpkins the Hooffields launched at us.
Pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, pumpkin quesadillas, pumpkin paella, pumpkin cheese, pumpkin pie, pumpkin fritatas Actually, that all sounds pretty good.
But it'll get old! Have you tried meeting at a neutral location, talking about your problems, and really listening to each other? What?! No! They'd sooner launch their dinners at us than listen to us.
Well, they'll listen to me.
I'm an impartial third party.
Attention, Hooffields and McColts, I'm not on anypony's side, but I can see you're both wasting time and resources on being mean to each other.
Ponies are supposed to help each other and be kind.
So let's stop this senseless fighting! There.
That should do it.
Ready to go home, Fluttershy? I'd love to, but if we solved the problem already, shouldn't our cutie marks be glowing again ? Oh, yeah.
They should be glowing any minute now Or not.
So much for Potential Friendship Solution #28.
I guess we should find out why the Hooffields are launching tomatoes now.
One at a time, Greenhoof.
If you smoosh them tomaters in the slingshot, they won't break on the McColts.
What are you doing? I asked you to stop fighting.
Oh, is that what you were hollerin' about? We thought the McColts rubbed ya the wrong way.
So we tomatered them for ya.
My mistake.
Stop the tomater slingshots! Reload the tomater slingshots! We're gonna paint their mountaintop red! Well, that didn't work.
I was so sure it would.
It was a good plan.
We need to think of another one.
And soon.
This fight is really affecting the animals around here.
Not to worry.
I'll just, uh find the root of the problem and work from there.
Pardon us, Ma, but do you remember what started this whole feud in the first place? They know what they did.
They know what they did! I'm starting to think neither of you know what either of you have done.
Sure, we do.
Them Hooffields did us a grave injustice to us some time ago fer some reason.
Hear, hear! Okay.
Backup plan to the backup plan.
Maybe we can find some common ground that you can bond over.
What do you do when you're not fighting? That's easy.
Gettin' ready to fight.
What do you hope to get out of fighting? The satisfaction of winnin'! Of winning what? The fight, of course! To prove our family is the best! The best at what? Winnin'! Haven't you been list'nin'?! So the only thing they have in common is that they both want to win a fight, and neither of them know what it's over.
How do I end this feud if I don't know what it's about? Ooh! Maybe somepony just needs to say they're sorry.
That's a great idea.
And Friendship Solution #48.
But we can move it up.
I'm so glad you agreed to do this.
This apology cake will go a long way to making amends between you two.
Which part of my argument changed your mind? The part where I said the benefits of friendship outweigh the cost of war, or the part where I said forgiveness is an investment in happiness.
Yeah, yeah.
All of it.
Wait.
Are you even listening to me? Who goes there?! It's Ma Hooffield.
Hooffield alert! Arm the cannons! WIth an apology cake! Did you say, "cake"? As in cake? Consider it a gesture of goodwill from us to you.
Ah haven't had cake in ages.
Open the gates! Oh, it's such a bee-youtiful cake.
Think of this as more than just a cake.
It's the first step in the long road to forgiveness.
Nothing says "let's be friends" like a cake that says, Let's be friends! (I wrote that in icing on the top.
) For glory! McColts! Assume Delta Force formation! Ready aim fire! Ma Hooffield, you planted ponies in that cake?! Yeah! Ha ha! Wait.
Were you serious about apologizin'? Why in Equestria would we do that? We didn't do anythin' wrong! What're you talkin' about?! You've done so many things wrong! Not as many as you! Um, if you could just not yell so much, or maybe stop saying words altogether Whoa! Twilight? Um, Twilight? We should probably get back there.
I mean, if you need a break that's fine, but I really can't do this without you.
I don't know if we can do this at all.
Even if I make things right, they're just gonna fight again.
Hey, little fellas.
Oh that's okay, you can come out! What was that? Oh, you poor things! There isn't enough food here for you! Brrr, and you're freezing! I'm gonna take you all home with me and give you all hot cocoas.
How do you feel about book clubs? I don't get it.
This was supposed to be the most beautiful valley in all of Equestria.
What happened? What's that? Oh! Uh huh Twilight! They know what happened here! What? Stop! You have to listen to me! Everypony freeze! Fluttershy! You have to tell them! It's a lot harder to freeze an army of ponies than just six of them! Before you keep fighting, there is something you should know! Long ago, there were two best friends, Grub Hooffield and Piles McColt.
When they found the valley between the Smokey Mountains, they knew it was something special! So they made a promise to each other to protect and preserve the valley for all its adorable furry inhabitants.
But they disagreed on how to go about it.
Grub wanted to start by planting crops so that everypony would have something to eat, but Piles thought it would be better to start by building a shelter, to protect them against the cold and wind.
The two ponies were unable to come to an understanding, so Piles went ahead and built a shelter anyway, exactly where Grub was going to start his farm! Grub was upset, so he tore down Piles' shelter so he could plant his crops! They kept fighting back and forth, until it turned into a feud! The valley suffered from the constant destruction, until finally the Hooffields and McColts moved to separate mountains.
Even then, the valley, and all the animals in it, continued to be caught in the crossfire.
You see? By fighting, you're destroying the very thing that brought you here in the first place! So it's time you both put your differences aside and come together, if not for yourselves, then for the sake of these cute and cuddly guys! Aw, shucks, we never meant to hurt any little critters.
Yeah, we're sorry! They say they accept your apology! Uh, Princess? You can unfreeze us now.
Oh, right! Ma Hooffield? We promise we won't fight you no more.
Us too, except we promise not to fight you.
I suppose it doesn't matter who's right; we're both wrong.
That's one thing we can agree on.
This is wonderful! I am so proud of you two! Aw, thanks, Princess, though I would just like to point out that I was, the, uh, first to admit I was wrong.
That may be but I promised not to fight first.
That counts more! Oh yeah?! Oh, alright.
We don't have to speak animal to know what y'all were sayin'.
Truce? Truce.
Woohoo, ain't that a pretty sight?! Sure is! The McColts are gonna help us rebuild our homes! Good ones this time.
And the Hooffields are gonna help us grow some crops! Not pumpkins.
Thanks for teachin' us that friendship is so much better than winnin' a silly argument.
Yay! I told you we'd figure it out.
We did, and we didn't need my friendship portfolio to do it.
We just needed each other! So, what do you think will happen next? We've all been called by the map now! Oof! I'm sure we'll find out when we get home What if it summons all six of us to another place? What about a pony we weren't expecting? What if it wants us to solve other kinds of problems, like quantum physics, or why the apple doesn't fall far from the tree? OmegaBowser OmegaBowser Retropony
Did somepony leave a light on? Oh, it's me.
Oh! It's me! We'll continue this discussion when I get back! You're here! Isn't this exciting?! Oh! You were called, too! Thank goodness.
I feel so much better going with a friend.
I was about to come and get you, but then I got distracted.
Oh.
Ever since the map called us, I've been doing a ton of research.
Testing out potential friendship problems.
Diversifying my solution portfolio.
Ever since the map called us? But that happened five minutes ago.
I know! But I wanna be one hundred percent prepared! I mean, I'm the Princess of Friendship.
How would it look if I couldn't solve a friendship problem? Oh, I'm so lucky I'm being sent with you.
Speaking of which, where're we going? The Smokey Mountains! Ooh, I've never been there before.
Neither have I.
And there isn't a lot of information on them.
All I could find was this.
The Smokey Mountains harbor the most beautiful valley in all of Equestria, between its two majestic mountain peaks.
That's gorgeous.
And where there's nature, there's a ton of animal friends! I can't wait to get started! I'm a little nervous since that's all I could find.
I usually like to be a bit more prepared.
You seem pretty prepared to me.
Are those for us? Yup! I've prepared our things.
Snacks, books, blankets, books.
You said "books" twice.
There are a lot of books.
Ooh.
Whadaya think our friendship problem's gonna be? I don't know.
But I'm sure we'll figure it out.
Do you think it'll be a problem about lying? I'm sure we'll find out when we get there.
You're right.
Ooh, could it be probably two friends just randomly deciding to do something together, but they forget the third friend, and the third friend feels left out? Or where one friend tells another friend's secret after they ask them not to? We'll know very, very soon.
Since we're almost there.
Here.
Lemme get that.
Thank you.
Sorry I've been a little skiddly-bopty-boo.
I just can't believe this is finally happening! What in Equestria is happening? It's nothing like your book said it would be! Oh, boy.
I'm feeling very unprepared.
Where do we even start? Maybe by figuring out where the flying pumpkins are coming from? Readyaimfire!! Um, hi.
Hello.
Excuse us, but what are you doing? We're pumpkinin' our neighbors! Yes, but, um, why are you pumpkining your neighbors? Well, because the McColts are just plain rotten.
Hey, wait a tick.
Who are you two?! Yer not spies for the McColts, are ya? I am Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship.
And I'm here to solve your friendship problem.
I'm Fluttershy, andum I'm here, too.
Ma Hooffield.
Pleased to meet ya, but yer wastin' yer time.
We don't have a friendship problem.
We havea McColt problem.
And there's absolutely no friendship there.
Well, maybe there could be if we figure out what the McColts did to make you so mad.
Oh, they've done so many things.
Why just today, they shot pebbles at our farmhouse an' wrecked it.
See, we're not very good at buildin' so, all it took was a little pebble.
But still! Oh, no! I know what to do.
We're gonna talk with these McColts and hear their side of the story.
Once we have all the facts, we can put an end to this using reason and rationale.
Good plan.
That's why she's the Princess.
In the meantime, could you please call off the pumpkining? Oh, all right.
Thanks.
C'mon, Fluttershy.
State yer business! Don't even bother.
They're probably spies for the Hooffields.
Hey, wait! You're an Alicorn! I thought just the three Princesses were Alicorns.
There are four alicorn princesses in Equestria now.
I am Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship.
And I'm Fluttershy.
We have a new princess? When did that happen? And how did the Hooffields come by a princess spy? We are not spies! Why does everypony assume we're spies? Because we don't get a lot of visitors.
I'm Big Daddy McColt.
You caught us at a weird time.
We're in the middle of a giant feud with our TERRIBLE NEIGHBORS!!! Well, actually, that's why we're here.
To solve your problem with the Hooffields.
So you're here to help us get rid of 'em.
No! That's not what I meant at all! Well, if you ain't fer us, yer agin us.
We are not on anypony's side.
We're here to help you become friends again.
Well, that's gon' be hard.
I don't believe we've ever been friends with the Hooffields! But you could be! They're just really upset you ruined their farmhouse.
Wait a hog-wogglin' minute! We only did that because the Hooffields pulled a pin out of our wagon wheel! A whole week's worth of food rollin' down the mountain.
Us McColts are mighty fine builders but we don't know the first thing about farmin'.
We have to travel a ways away to buy our food.
Now, we'll be stuck eatin' the pumpkins the Hooffields launched at us.
Pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, pumpkin quesadillas, pumpkin paella, pumpkin cheese, pumpkin pie, pumpkin fritatas Actually, that all sounds pretty good.
But it'll get old! Have you tried meeting at a neutral location, talking about your problems, and really listening to each other? What?! No! They'd sooner launch their dinners at us than listen to us.
Well, they'll listen to me.
I'm an impartial third party.
Attention, Hooffields and McColts, I'm not on anypony's side, but I can see you're both wasting time and resources on being mean to each other.
Ponies are supposed to help each other and be kind.
So let's stop this senseless fighting! There.
That should do it.
Ready to go home, Fluttershy? I'd love to, but if we solved the problem already, shouldn't our cutie marks be glowing again ? Oh, yeah.
They should be glowing any minute now Or not.
So much for Potential Friendship Solution #28.
I guess we should find out why the Hooffields are launching tomatoes now.
One at a time, Greenhoof.
If you smoosh them tomaters in the slingshot, they won't break on the McColts.
What are you doing? I asked you to stop fighting.
Oh, is that what you were hollerin' about? We thought the McColts rubbed ya the wrong way.
So we tomatered them for ya.
My mistake.
Stop the tomater slingshots! Reload the tomater slingshots! We're gonna paint their mountaintop red! Well, that didn't work.
I was so sure it would.
It was a good plan.
We need to think of another one.
And soon.
This fight is really affecting the animals around here.
Not to worry.
I'll just, uh find the root of the problem and work from there.
Pardon us, Ma, but do you remember what started this whole feud in the first place? They know what they did.
They know what they did! I'm starting to think neither of you know what either of you have done.
Sure, we do.
Them Hooffields did us a grave injustice to us some time ago fer some reason.
Hear, hear! Okay.
Backup plan to the backup plan.
Maybe we can find some common ground that you can bond over.
What do you do when you're not fighting? That's easy.
Gettin' ready to fight.
What do you hope to get out of fighting? The satisfaction of winnin'! Of winning what? The fight, of course! To prove our family is the best! The best at what? Winnin'! Haven't you been list'nin'?! So the only thing they have in common is that they both want to win a fight, and neither of them know what it's over.
How do I end this feud if I don't know what it's about? Ooh! Maybe somepony just needs to say they're sorry.
That's a great idea.
And Friendship Solution #48.
But we can move it up.
I'm so glad you agreed to do this.
This apology cake will go a long way to making amends between you two.
Which part of my argument changed your mind? The part where I said the benefits of friendship outweigh the cost of war, or the part where I said forgiveness is an investment in happiness.
Yeah, yeah.
All of it.
Wait.
Are you even listening to me? Who goes there?! It's Ma Hooffield.
Hooffield alert! Arm the cannons! WIth an apology cake! Did you say, "cake"? As in cake? Consider it a gesture of goodwill from us to you.
Ah haven't had cake in ages.
Open the gates! Oh, it's such a bee-youtiful cake.
Think of this as more than just a cake.
It's the first step in the long road to forgiveness.
Nothing says "let's be friends" like a cake that says, Let's be friends! (I wrote that in icing on the top.
) For glory! McColts! Assume Delta Force formation! Ready aim fire! Ma Hooffield, you planted ponies in that cake?! Yeah! Ha ha! Wait.
Were you serious about apologizin'? Why in Equestria would we do that? We didn't do anythin' wrong! What're you talkin' about?! You've done so many things wrong! Not as many as you! Um, if you could just not yell so much, or maybe stop saying words altogether Whoa! Twilight? Um, Twilight? We should probably get back there.
I mean, if you need a break that's fine, but I really can't do this without you.
I don't know if we can do this at all.
Even if I make things right, they're just gonna fight again.
Hey, little fellas.
Oh that's okay, you can come out! What was that? Oh, you poor things! There isn't enough food here for you! Brrr, and you're freezing! I'm gonna take you all home with me and give you all hot cocoas.
How do you feel about book clubs? I don't get it.
This was supposed to be the most beautiful valley in all of Equestria.
What happened? What's that? Oh! Uh huh Twilight! They know what happened here! What? Stop! You have to listen to me! Everypony freeze! Fluttershy! You have to tell them! It's a lot harder to freeze an army of ponies than just six of them! Before you keep fighting, there is something you should know! Long ago, there were two best friends, Grub Hooffield and Piles McColt.
When they found the valley between the Smokey Mountains, they knew it was something special! So they made a promise to each other to protect and preserve the valley for all its adorable furry inhabitants.
But they disagreed on how to go about it.
Grub wanted to start by planting crops so that everypony would have something to eat, but Piles thought it would be better to start by building a shelter, to protect them against the cold and wind.
The two ponies were unable to come to an understanding, so Piles went ahead and built a shelter anyway, exactly where Grub was going to start his farm! Grub was upset, so he tore down Piles' shelter so he could plant his crops! They kept fighting back and forth, until it turned into a feud! The valley suffered from the constant destruction, until finally the Hooffields and McColts moved to separate mountains.
Even then, the valley, and all the animals in it, continued to be caught in the crossfire.
You see? By fighting, you're destroying the very thing that brought you here in the first place! So it's time you both put your differences aside and come together, if not for yourselves, then for the sake of these cute and cuddly guys! Aw, shucks, we never meant to hurt any little critters.
Yeah, we're sorry! They say they accept your apology! Uh, Princess? You can unfreeze us now.
Oh, right! Ma Hooffield? We promise we won't fight you no more.
Us too, except we promise not to fight you.
I suppose it doesn't matter who's right; we're both wrong.
That's one thing we can agree on.
This is wonderful! I am so proud of you two! Aw, thanks, Princess, though I would just like to point out that I was, the, uh, first to admit I was wrong.
That may be but I promised not to fight first.
That counts more! Oh yeah?! Oh, alright.
We don't have to speak animal to know what y'all were sayin'.
Truce? Truce.
Woohoo, ain't that a pretty sight?! Sure is! The McColts are gonna help us rebuild our homes! Good ones this time.
And the Hooffields are gonna help us grow some crops! Not pumpkins.
Thanks for teachin' us that friendship is so much better than winnin' a silly argument.
Yay! I told you we'd figure it out.
We did, and we didn't need my friendship portfolio to do it.
We just needed each other! So, what do you think will happen next? We've all been called by the map now! Oof! I'm sure we'll find out when we get home What if it summons all six of us to another place? What about a pony we weren't expecting? What if it wants us to solve other kinds of problems, like quantum physics, or why the apple doesn't fall far from the tree? OmegaBowser OmegaBowser Retropony