Northern Exposure s05e23 Episode Script

Chris in the Morning on K-Bear, senors and senoritas.
Blood drive, day five, coming into the home stretch.
Let's keep those blood bags dripping.
Last count, 300 and climbing.
Bleed on, Cicely! Okay, I got a few blood week updates here.
Ed Chigliak's Dracula film fest keeps on keepin'on.
Tonight's big "D"is Christopher Lee in the '58 remake of the '30s classic.
First 25 in the door, show your Band-Aid, get a free V8 and a One-A-Day, courtesy of Ruth-Anne Miller.
Thank you, Ruth-Anne.
Come on down, folks.
Next pint you need may be your own.
That includes you, Stevens.
Hey, blood week.
Uh, blood week time.
What do you want to hear, some Sweeney Todd? No excuses this year, Chris, even though you are squeamish around needles.
Look, Maurice, it's not needles, all right? - So? - It's not what they put in.
It's what they take out.
It's the blood, Maurice.
You know, it's so alive in that bag, like liquid guts.
If you don't grab a hold of both of'em, get over there to that blood drive, you're gonna be more than light-headed.
You're gonna be fired.
This is one bet I'm not gonna lose.
What bet? A grand.
I'm sick of Cantwell walking off with that plaque every year, Lloyd Hillegas's smirk.
Cantwell may be bigger, but they're not better.
If they pledge 500 units, we're gonna come up with 501.
We'll see who's smiling at this year's Sons of the Tundra lunch.
And they wonder what makes America so great, huh? Hey, Marilyn.
Check it out.
Lamb for kabobs.
Holling's doing Tastes of the Greek Isles right after the blood drive.
Mmm.
Baklava.
Oh, wow! Marilyn, is this all the blood? Mm-hmm.
Here's Uncle Anku's.
Oh, wow.
Uncle Anku's.
It's good blood.
O-positive.
It's so dark in the bag, and thick.
Mm-hmm.
Here's yours.
My blood? AB-RH-negative.
It's uncommon, really uncommon.
What do you mean, "uncommon"? In the whole world, only one-half of one percent has your kind of blood.
AB-RH-negative? See, in Cicely there's only one other one.
Jeannie Hansen.
Do you know her? No.
Oh.
I thought you might be related.
Related? AB-RH-negative runs in the family.
It's genetic.
You know, like baldness or earlobes and stuff like that.
So, you think me and Jeannie might be relatives? - Maybe.
- Well, wait a minute now.
Are you talking, like, a cousin or an aunt or- or closer? AB-RH-negative is very uncommon.
Come on.
Come on out now.
Come on.
I don't believe it! Mary Margaret of the Yukon? Queen of the Grosse Pointe cotillion with her head in a truck! Jed! Hey, Mag.
Jed!Jedster! Well, what are you doing? I can't believe it's you! Yeah, how you doing, Mag? I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd drop by and see what my old midnight swim partner was up to.
You look great! What-What are you doing here? Thanks.
A little sabbatical.
Put the brokerage on autopilot.
Thought we'd come up and do some hunting.
Who's " we"? Let me introduce you to Taylor.
Taylor? Of course, he's probably a little shook up after that trail of tears you people call a highway.
I ought to sue the state for breach.
Oh, it's a bird! Come on.
Step back.
Step back.
Hey.
Step back.
Come on.
What a pretty thing.
Yeah, Taylor's a Harris hawk, aren't you, Taylor? Taylor, meet Mary O'Connell.
Remember I was telling you about my old tiller mate? Wow! Why does he have that thing on his head? Ah, that's just his hood.
It looks cruel, but don't worry about it.
He'd be a nervous wreck without it.
Falconry, right? You know, raptors are awesome animals, Mag.
I mean, nothing's safe when they hunt.
I mean, they truss their victims, and bam! Taylor's quite a finisher, aren't you, big fellow? Whoa! Oh, Chi-chi.
Here, Chi-chi.
Here, Chi-chi.
Don't worry, Taylor.
We'll go huntin'.
That's what we came for.
Take it easy.
- That's all right, baby.
Mommy's here.
- Sorry, Marsha.
So,Jed Fleming.
Well, welcome to Cicely.
Boy, you just look more scrumptious every time I see you, Maggie.
Trust me on that one, Taylor.
Here you go, Hayden.
Liver steak and eggs easy.
Oh, thank you.
P.
U! Ditto.
I need the iron boost while I'm getting stuck this afternoon.
Hayden, my boy! It does my heart good to see a man do right by his town.
Tell that brother of yours he's not gonna be able to sneak away from me again this year.
I haven't seen my brother in a while, Maurice.
Well, you'd better find him if you want to keep poaching my slough.
Well, now, Maurice Minnifield.
How be you? Lloyd Hillegas, what are you doing? Scrounging spare silver out of those pinball machines of yours? Darth Vader rules.
See you're out beating the bushes for warm bodies.
You must be down to teenagers and shut-ins by now.
Just like Hitler at Remagen bridge.
Yeah, actually, Lloyd, I'm turning them away.
Come on, Minnifield.
Cicely doesn't have an egg's chance under an elephant's foot of winning a blood drive.
If I were you, Hillegas, I'd go back to Cantwell and, uh, guard my own bailiwick.
I was gonna be a nice guy, let you off the hook.
I thought it was the rosé talking at that Sons of the Tundra networker.
Now I see you're just butt obstinate.
You might want to go Brasso up that plaque.
I wouldn't want to hang it on the wall with your paw prints all over it.
A man can but try.
Cake à la mode.
Ah, thanks, Holling.
Say, uh, Holling? See that woman over there in the far booth? Jeannie Hansen? - You know her? No, but that's the name on her checks.
Oh, no one does.
She's new in town, Ed.
She lives over at the old Dickens place.
The two old maids- those were her aunts.
They left her the cabin.
- You talking aboutJeannie Hansen? - Uh-huh.
You know her? No, but she always says " hi" and she finishes her crosswords.
She's taken a real liking to my tuna melts, that's for sure.
Tuna melts? Say, Shel, you know, that's my favorite sandwich too.
Yeah? I wonder.
How old do you think she is? That chin, those crow's feet? I'd say knockin' on 40, at least.
Forty, huh? Well, she could have been 16, 17, 18.
When? What? When what? Oh, nothing.
Order up.
Uh, Mr.
Pinetree? Yo.
Who's there? Yeah.
Mr.
Pinetree? It's me, Ed Chigliak.
Can I talk to you? I need a private investigator.
Ed? Oh, the kid from the store.
Come on in.
Sure.
It's been a little hectic around here.
Just catching a little break.
Let me get you a chair.
I'm in between secretaries.
Oh! Do yourself a favor, Ed.
Never rupture a disk.
Okay.
Yeah.
I was on the force down in Seattle, in Bunco.
Yeah, about closing in on a chop shop operation.
Perp pushed me off a ladder.
Three months traction.
Had to retire.
Got 60% disability.
What are you gonna do? Here.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Let me get you a cup of coffee.
Oh, no, thanks.
No, it's decaf.
It's just instant.
It will take a minute.
Oh, I don't drink coffee.
Thanks though.
Some people don't.
So, uh, what's up, Ed? What can I do for you? Well, Mr.
Pinetree, I want you to find something out about somebody for me.
Okay.
Well, her name's Jeannie Hansen, and, uh, she just moved to town.
And I think she's my mother.
Okay.
Well, see, we're the only people in town with AB-RH-negative type blood.
And, uh, she's about the right age, plus she's white.
- And they say my mother was white.
- Okay.
What? That's it? You'll do it? You can find out just like that? Let me show you something, Ed.
"Reynaldo, all the way, baby.
" Nipsy Russell, from Password.
Yeah.
He was working a Seattle dinner theater.
Hell of a nice guy.
Somebody got a hold of his telephone credit card, uh, started selling it around.
Took him for 2,800.
Turned out to be the stagehand.
Oh.
Now, uh, Ed, there's a matter of my fee.
Here's a brochure to tell you a little bit about our company, our rates and et cetera.
You got any questions, now, you just don't be afraid to ask, okay? Okay.
I want you to realize, Ed, once you start something like this, you got to be prepared for where it leads.
Okay.
Okay, Clara.
Good job.
Have yourself a nice day now, huh? It's really nothing, Dr.
Joel.
I've stuck myself worse sewing.
Oh, yeah? Good.
Hey, Hayden.
How are you doing, man? Ah, good.
Let's get you all started.
Things are good? Yeah.
Good.
All right.
This is just a little iodine.
Disinfect the area.
All right.
I want you to hold on to this for me.
You can go ahead and give that a couple of squeezes.
This okay? Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, there's a nice one right there.
Okay,just relax, and it'll be over before you know it.
Ready? All right.
You'll feel a little pressure, maybe a sting at the most, okay? Okay.
Here we go.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! It's okay.
It's all right.
I- I'm sorry.
It just, uh- I guess I missed the vein.
You okay? Yeah.
All right.
You sure? Yes.
Is it okay if I just try a little lower down? Yeah.
All right.
Are you ready? - Hey! Hey! Hey! - Not again.
I don't understand.
I'm sorry.
Ow, man.
That's really strange.
That vein looks absolutely fine.
You ever had this trouble before? - No.
- You sure? Look, it's turnin' black and blue.
All right.
It's a little hematoma.
It's a bruise.
It will go away in a few days.
Just put your hand right there.
If you don't mind, I'd like to maybe try the other arm, if that's okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I don't understand.
So you like Mr.
Reindeer, huh, Taylor? Just give it a chance.
I promise you, it's very good barbecued.
Really.
As long as we've got enough scotch.
Hmm.
Hey, hey, hey.
Would you mind handing me the salt and pepper over here? Sure.
It's almost done.
Thanks.
Remember that night at the club? We dug that, uh, big pit out front, and they cooked that pig? Oh, yeah.
It was calypso night.
Yes, and they had a steel drum band.
And Mrs.
Egly got so drunk, she climbed a tree.
Remember that? Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Then we took, uh, Dad's boat out and we went for a swim.
Oh, that's right.
How are you, Mag? You're looking really good.
You really are.
Oh, thanks, thanks.
Things are good, you know? I'm good.
And, uh, how's your doctor? Doctor? Yeah.
Fleischman.
Yeah.
Well, he's fine, you know.
He's just fine.
Hmm.
Huh.
Well, what about you, you know? Um, are you seeing anybody now? How long you been hunting? Oh, I mean, with the bird.
Uh, Taylor? Oh,just, uh, after I gave up smokin'.
Oh! Yeah.
So, you and, uh- you and Joel, you got any plans? You guys getting married? Married? Sorry.
Touchy subject? No.
No, no, no, not at all.
It's just you brought him home that time, and, you know, he seemed like he was a pretty nice guy and- Yeah.
Well, you know, things are great, really.
Never been better.
I'm just curious.
Huh.
Well, I guess we'd better get these ribs on the grill.
Yeah.
Here, let me take it, Mag.
Oh, thanks.
Hey, Eugene.
Gave up that pint already, huh? Whew! Boy, Chris.
It's rough in there.
I'm sorry.
I overshot the vein a little.
If it starts again,just put it up and keep a steady pressure with the gauze, all right? And give me a call.
Yeah.
All right.
But it will be fine though, okay? I'm sorry, really.
Mm-hmm.
Man, oh, man.
Hey! Uh, I'm just out here, you know, getting ready.
Getting ready to go in there.
- What? You want to give blood.
- Yeah, yeah.
Maurice talked me into it.
So, you know, I thought I'd open up that closet, kind of see what's freaking me out, you know.
Yeah, well, I wouldn't recommend it.
No, I'll be all right.
I just- I won't look or maybe- Got a blindfold or something? No, it's not you, it's me.
I don't know.
I'm losing it.
I can't hit a vein.
I mean,you know, if they were sclerotic, I could see, maybe.
But these are normal, healthy, prominent veins, and I'm just blowin' it.
I'm just shooting through 'em.
I'm- I'm undershooting.
Take Hayden.
You should see this guy.
He was practically in tears.
His whole ventral surface was bleeding and swollen.
Really? Oh, man.
I don't understand what's happening to me.
I don't- I don't get it.
I mean, you know, I've done this a thousand times.
I've done it 10,000 times.
You know, it's not something you suddenly forget.
This is like second nature.
It's like riding a bicycle for me.
I should be able to do it with my eyes shut.
Steve Sax syndrome.
Steve Sax.
Wow.
You think so? Well, how many balls you think that guy threw from second to first? What did it take? One errant ball, man.
Next thing you know, he's pitching in the dirt, over guys' heads.
Lost his rhythm, his confidence, his game, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, he got it back though, big time, you know.
American League.
He had a great career, right? Yeah.
That's true, isn't it? Yes, he did.
Better than ever.
Yeah.
He got it back.
Huh? What do you say? Come on.
All right.
For you, I'll try it again.
All right.
Unless, you know- What? Do you remember a pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Steve Blass? He couldn't find home plate, man.
Two years, out of baseball.
I'm gonna take a rain check, all right? Just a- So what's lakefront going for up here anyway, Maggie? Lakefront.
You mean, property? Yeah.
Nothing big.
Five or 10 acres, a dock.
It's got to be just right- after the black flies die and just before the mosquito larvae hatch.
Why? You thinking about getting some property up here? In Cicely? I'm thinking about doing more than that, Maggie.
I want to get to know you again.
Oh, come on,Jed.
No, I'm serious.
I mean, hey, look at us.
We're not gettin' any younger.
You really want to be chasing three-years-olds around the house when you're 40? Not particularly, no.
I'm talking 50-50.
No lawyer, no prenup.
Just you, me and a preacher.
You'll make somebody a great husband someday,Jed.
You.
Me.
Me? No.
Uh- Why? Why? Because- I don't know.
It- It's marriage,Jed.
It's, like, the rest of my life! You know, I- I just- I just don't want somebody just like me.
You know, where- Don't you want to be surprised, you know? Give me a break.
No! You know, like, um- Okay, okay, look.
It's, like, they come over for dinner, right? It's just some dumb Tuesday, which is fine.
And you're sitting there and you're talking, and then all of a sudden you start arguing.
You're arguing over your aunt's ulcers or something like that and where they come from, and it just makes you feel so alive.
Ulcers? Did I say that? I did.
I said that, didn't I? What? Oh, my God! That's Fleischman.
Fleischman? Let me tell you something, Maggie.
I mean, that little argument thing that you think is so cute- You really want to spend the rest of your life listening to that? 'Cause it's gonna wear, believe me.
Oh.
I want Fleischman.
Oh.
The guy's a contrarian, Maggie.
I know these people.
They have to think about everything.
They have to talk about everything.
They just can't sit on a deck and have a drink.
Tell me about it.
Hi, Maggie.
Hi, Marilyn.
Oh, hey, Fleischman.
Oh, hey.
How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? Well, I'll tell you how it's going.
It's basically a disaster.
I can't hit a vein.
I mean, understand that this- this is the simplest, most basic medical procedure, and I can't do it.
I'm like a golfer with the yips.
The yips? Yeah, these guys, these golfers- all of a sudden, it's like they can't putt.
I mean, these are professionals, and it's just gone- poof- over.
Whole career out the window.
I mean, like Steve Blass.
Who? It's baseball.
Never mind.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, I should have gone into pathology.
Typing blood.
See? This I can do.
This is where I belong.
There's no people.
There's no pain.
That's what I should have done.
I was brilliant at research.
Shouldn't be out in the field.
Fleischman, what do you say? I mean, I think we're doing all right.
Don't you? Us? Yeah, we're fine.
I mean, I think it's been good lately between us.
I mean, really good, in fact.
Yeah.
I think we're where we should be, I mean, in terms of where this is going- our relationship- I do.
Yes, everything's fine.
You know, I just- I can't have this conversation right now, okay? No, I was just wondering, that's all.
- Well, it's just not a good time for me.
- Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm just in the middle of this, and I've got a lot on my mind, okay? A lot.
All right.
Forget it.
Hey,Joel.
Hey, long time.
Good to see you, fellow.
Jed? Boy.
Hey.
How are you doing? Not bad.
Wow.
What are you doing up here? He's visiting, Fleischman.
Just visiting.
Yeah, actually we're just gonna do some hunting with Taylor.
That's my hawk.
What do you say? You want tojoin us? Uh- He's busy.
Actually, he's very busy.
- He's got a lot on his mind, right, Fleischman? - Look, O'Connell- Maybe I'm interrupting something here? Mm-mmm.
Mm-mmm.
No, I was just leaving.
Catch you later.
Hey.
Ed? Good.
Oh, hey, Reynaldo.
You know, I was gonna come by your office at 5:00,just like you said.
Hey, why wait? I thought you'd want to see this.
Did you figure it out already? No, but I've got some information for you.
Oh, what is it? Her T.
R.
W.
Lookit here.
Jeannie Hansen.
This woman's got a sparkling credit history.
Visa's out of Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
Ooh, she shops at Sears too.
Something else.
I obtained her phone bill from her refuse can.
What do you see? A cantaloupe seed? No, Ed.
Look.
Cedar Rapids, 362 prefix.
She calls this as regular as clockwork, once a week.
I dialed and got an answering machine.
Doris.
Doris.
I'm gonna call back after 11:00.
And this.
Oh, wow! It's a picture of her.
I caught her hanging out the wash.
I'm gonna send it to Sav-on for copying.
Keep your prices down.
Oh.
Distribute it to my sources.
Boy, she looks good there, huh? The way she's just kind of standing there by that clothesline.
I've gotta be straight with you, Ed.
I called theJuneau Social Health Services.
They have no record of a Jeannie Hansen ever giving birth that year.
Three years subsequent and previous.
Well, she could have maybe just had me under a different name or something.
Or maybe she just had me, and no one knew.
Could be.
Could be.
Ayoung girl alone, coming to Alaska to stay with her aunts.
She falls in love with a local.
The aunts, uh, disapprove.
They ostracize her.
She's confused.
What's she gonna do? She's got to go home.
To Iowa.
It's got to be rough being left by a tree and no mother.
Me- I should see my mother more.
But she's in Slab City.
She wanted to be near our relatives.
They all live down in Barstow now.
Oh, thanks, Reynaldo.
Say, this is just a start.
The job's not over yet.
You know, procure some prints, employment history.
I'm gonna sit on the house tomorrow, surveillance.
Say, I've got an idea.
I wouldn't ordinarily ask a principal, but how'd you like to come along? I mean, see how it's done.
If you want.
If you're interested.
What? You mean, like, uh, surveillance? I think it'd be all right, Ed.
Hey.
I saw the light on.
Boy,you weren't kidding about this place, were you,Joel? It's minimal, definitely.
Are you out for a little sightseeing tonight? Take a peek at the exam room? I like you, Fleischman.
You got a good sense of humor.
Well, thanks, uh, but the thing is, I'm kind of busy.
So, uh, I'm just not up for any kind of banter, if you don't mind.
I feel for you.
I really do.
You know, you're stuck up here.
All those doctors in Manhattan squeezing the teat dry right before national health care kicks in.
And you- God, you'll be- be working for Uncle Sam by the time you get back to civilization.
It's bad timing, huh? Well, I guess us physicians won't be such easy marks for you bonds salesmen.
Hey, Fleischman.
Don't you worry aboutJed Fleming.
He got his.
Sold short defense stocks.
Loaded up on interactive media.
But that's not what this is about.
Oh, no? No, I, uh- I want to help you out.
What? I do.
I want to help you.
In fact, I, uh- I brought a little something for you.
$30,000? It will buy you out of your indentured servitude, and some transition money.
You know, get you back to New York, an apartment, some furniture.
You want to give me $30,000 to buy out of my contact? Believe me,Joel.
It's not taking any food off my table.
Is this some kind of joke? I'd like to think of it as my good deed for the year.
I mean, it's not even tax deductible, and my accountant's gonna kill me.
Get out of here.
I don't need this.
I don't want it.
Hey,Joel, you know, no offense intended.
It was just an idea.
Now, why don't you just sleep on it for the night? Get out of here! Just-Just sleep on it.
Hey, Shelly.
Is my takeout ready yet? Oh, yeah.
Let me get it.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, Fleischman.
You know, I think you're right.
I think we should talk.
I mean, I-I'd really like to.
Two lasagnas to go, crispy on top, like you like it.
Great.
Thanks, Shelly.
Ah, gee, Fleischman.
Thanks.
Mm-hmm.
I'd like to, but, um,Jed's waiting outside, and there's really nothing worse than cold ricotta, huh? Oh, I'll take another one, Eugene.
Why shouldn't I, you know? Why shouldn't I just go? Give me one reason why I shouldn't just get on a plane and go back to New York and just forget this place, just forget it ever existed.
- Because you'd be in breach of contract.
- Yeah? Let me show you something.
Wow! Look at all those zeros.
Yeah, that's my ticket out of here.
Freedom.
Up, up and away.
And all I got to do is sign my name on the back.
Take the money and run.
Listen to me.
What am I talking about? How could I possibly take this guy's money? I mean, I have to have at least a smidgeon of dignity.
What else have I got? Certainly not my profession.
I mean, this place even took that.
Well, weren't you always gonna go home anyways? That's true, isn't it? Yeah.
I mean, why not? Why do I forestall the inevitable? Go back to New York and Carnegie Hall, Russian Tea Room, my Park Avenue practice.
Pina colada, double rum.
I'll get my chops back, huh? A little time, rest.
Wh-What if I don't? What if I don't? Yeah, well, anyway, I mean, I can always make a living in research, immunology.
There's a high demand for that.
You know what those guys make? I'll have to live in New Jersey.
Hello, Fleischman.
Ah, Gene.
The usual, please.
Do me a favor, Maurice.
Please, I really don't want to hear it right now.
Hear what? Oh! About my blood dealie.
No, no, no.
I've got a line on a couple of retired WAC nurses in Nome.
I'll fly 'em up here.
We'll miss maybe a half a day's production, that's all, till you get it together.
One schnapps, soda back.
Cheers.
Well, that's good.
I'm glad to hear that.
Ah! Of course, if you don't snap out of it pretty soon, I'm gonna have to start casting around for a permanent replacement.
Replacement? Yeah, afraid so.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm just a warm body to you? Listen,Joel.
Don't take it personally.
I mean, I've got a town to look after here.
I was thinking about maybe, uh, looking at UCLA, some of those smart, uh, Asian kids.
They work hard, and they don't complain.
Put it on my bill, will you? Oh, boy.
Unbelievable.
I'd take it.
"Lestat said, 'Be still.
"'I'm going to drain you now to the very threshold of death, "'and I want you to be quiet.
"'So quiet that you can almost hear the flow of blood through your veins.
So quiet that you can hear the flow of that same blood through mine.
"' That concludes this morning's installment of Interview with a Vampire.
We'll be back sucking down the red stuff manana with Lestat- same time, save station.
Blood drive hiatus continues, givin' us a little time to sit back and think.
I am.
Blood, the primordial ooze.
Not out there, listeners.
In here, inside this- this skin we wear.
It only lets us think we're something else.
Nice clean brains, little talking computers running around in the pursuit of happiness.
We pierce the skin, and what do we see? Hmm? Warm ooze, protoplasm.
Churning, ingesting, defecating, pulsating.
Life.
Death.
That's the last of the blood work.
Let Maurice's practical nurse do it.
He thinks he can just pick up the phone and make some calls? Fine.
I'd like to see him find someone to put up with his B.
S.
What are you looking at? Ah.
TheJedster.
Schmuck.
Tell you what- those two deserve each other.
What do you think the deal is with that ridiculous bird? I mean, who does this guy think he is? It got Chi-chi.
What, the bird? Who's Chi-chi.
Marsha Seepman's poodle.
That little white dog? You're telling me that that bird killed it? Uh-huh.
You're telling me that bird killed Marsha Seepman's dog? Are you sure? My mom saw it.
Chi-chi ran, but the bird was faster.
All right.
That's it.
That is it.
I've had it! Cancel all my appointments.
You don't have any.
Well, if anyone comes in.
Jeannie must be sleeping in.
Ah, as soon as she vacates, we'll, uh, talk a look around and see what turns up in the garbage today.
Maybe she likes to stay up late and watch the late movie like I do.
That's genetic too, you know.
Staying up late and watching movies.
If it is her, she's lucky to have a kid like you.
Me, I don't have any kids.
No? No, I was married once.
Met her in a bowling alley.
I was naive.
Doughnut? Got a glazed old-fashioned and a couple confettis left.
Confetti.
So, uh, you like to stay up late and watch old movies, huh? "Into these mean streets a man must go.
" Martin Scorsese.
Did you ever watch Harper, Ed? He's a P.
I.
down in L.
A.
Paul Newman.
Oh, he's a good-looking guy.
Tenacious S.
O.
B.
He wouldn't quit a case even after they beat the crap out of him.
LikeJack.
Well,J.
J.
Gittes in Chinatown.
"Mr.
Gitts.
" Remember when Jake went down the reservoir, where Mulwray's body washed up? Right.
It's dark.
It's night.
He's looking around- he's not sure for what.
There's a gunshot.
The water comes rushing at him through the pipe! He's going to drown.
He grabs the fence! Excuse me! Can I help you? I've been watching you.
You've been out here for hours.
We're not doing anything.
I saw you.
You were driving by here yesterday.
And let me tell you something, mister- I see you back again, I'm calling the police.
Whew! Geez! Where'd she come from? I almost had a coronary.
Boy, she's really mad.
She's gonna hate me now.
- What's her problem? It's a public street.
- Oh, no.
Ed, no! I gotta talk to her.
Mrs.
Hansen! Please, wait! What? What do you want? I'm really, really sorry.
You're right.
We were watching your house, but it was my fault.
I just hired a private investigator, Reynaldo Pinetree, 'cause I wanted to find out if you were my mother.
Your mother? Yeah.
I have AB-RH-negative blood, and they said you did too.
And, well, that's really, really uncommon.
And since I'm half-Indian and my mother was white, well, I thought you might be her.
Well, I'm not.
Oh, hey.
I don't want anything.
I promise.
I just want to know, you know? And I wouldn't blame you.
I mean, you were young and, well, you were in love and, well, you didn't know what else to do.
And that's why you left me by that tree.
Is that what happened to you? You were left by a tree? I am so sorry, but I'm not your mother.
It wasn't me.
Are you sure? Look, I have kids.
Well, they're grown.
Becky lives in Lander, Wyoming.
She's a teacher.
My son's in the navy.
Oh.
Okay.
I hope you find her.
Thank you.
There you go, Taylor.
There you go.
What do you say we get a little exercise before we get out of this hellhole? Fleischman! Go ahead, wise guy.
What you got to say for yourself? What are you talking about? Think you can just blow in here, kick me when I'm down and put the moves on O'Connell? I'm drawing the line right here.
What are you talking about? You know exactly what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about Chi-chi! Chi-chi? Yeah.
The little poodle? You got it! That was too bad.
"Too bad.
" Oh, that's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
Mr.
Noblesse Oblige.
Fleischman, what do you want me to do? She let her run loose.
I am the physician in this town, and I have a responsibility to these people! Maybe you think you can push 'em around, but if you think I'm gonna stand idly by- Why? What are you going to do? What? Uh-huh.
What? Oh, geez! Ow! Ow! My ribs! Why, you little- Ow! You realize you're saying no to MauriceJ.
Minnifield? Well, let me tell you something, buster.
The next time the borough of Kipnuk needs another fire engine on the line, you can forget my number.
Got to him too.
Huh.
Who's that,jefe? Oh, it's that damn Hillegas.
I've been on the phone with nurse practioners all morning, and all of a sudden, every one of'em north of the 59th parallel's got a headache.
What, about the blood drive? Yeah.
Dr.
F.
's back in the duty station.
Fleischman? He- He's drawing blood? Yeah.
He's giving away these free eye exams and cholesterol analysis.
The line's running out the door.
What are we waitin' for? Let's go put it over the top! Uh, hey.
Look, Maurice.
I tried, all right? I couldn't even get in the door.
I mean, I started, you know, thinking about things and, uh, life and the stuff oozing out of me and mortality.
Giving blood's not something you think about.
It's something you do! Do you think men would risk their necks in combat if they gave it a moment's thought? Or- Or go into space? Hell, do anything.
Damn wimp.
Okay.
All right.
I'll buy it.
Here's your Dove bars, Ed.
Oh, uh, you sure you don't want to keep them, Reynaldo? I shouldn't have brought them.
No, no, no, no.
It was a good thought.
Just not right for stakeout.
They melt.
Ah, well, thank you.
I don't know how that could happen, Ed.
I mean, how did she make us? I'll tell you what.
I let myself get distracted.
I wasn't taking care of business.
It was my fault, Reynaldo.
Yeah, I oughta should have known better than to bring somebody along.
I mean, a rookie.
Nah, I don't- I don't know.
You did fine, Ed.
Maybe I parked too close.
Well, I found out what I wanted to know.
Well, no thanks to yours truly.
Oh, no, Reynaldo.
Hey, I would have never went out there without you.
And you drove.
They were even your doughnuts.
I know, Ed.
I still don't feel good about this.
I- I'd like to give you some of your money back.
Oh, no.
I don't- I don't want it.
I won't take it, Reynaldo.
You gave me your hard-earned cash, and it turned out it wasn't even your mother after all.
Well, yeah.
But you could look at the upside, and that is that there's one less mother in the world that could be her.
Sure, kid.
Listen, I want to- I want to let you know I enjoyed our association these past few days.
Take care of yourself, you hear? Say, Reynaldo? Ah, ever go fishing? Sometimes.
Well, you want to go with me? Yeah, I could do that.
Give me a call.
How are you doing? Mmm.
Good.
Why don't you just sit there until you feel like getting up, okay? All right.
Uh-huh.
All righty.
Hey.
You're back.
Hey, rain check, huh? Good for you.
Decided to give me another shot, huh? Right.
Have no fear.
Twin shiners there, Rory Raccoon, huh? Yeah, you like those? Yeah.
I kind of like 'em myself.
Got your zone back, huh? Yeah.
Stopped thinking about medicine and veins, needles for five minutes.
To tell you the truth, I stopped thinking completely.
That will do it- quit thinking.
Here, why don't you, uh, just grip this for a second, won't you? Yeah, there's a nice vein right there.
All righty.
You all ready? - Right now? - Right now.
Okay.
Go for it.
Okay.
Here we go.
- Hey.
- You okay? Yeah, you got it, huh? Yeah, we got a nice flow.
Got yourself some excellent veins there.
Yeah? All right.
Great.
Just hook you up, and you'll be out of here in no time.
Hey! Whoa, whoa! Hey.
Hey, Chris.
Hey.
Hey, Marilyn! Cold compresses.
We've got ourselves a fainter here.
Hey, pal.
Hey.
Look at that beaker ofblood! Is that not the most beautiful beaker ofblood you've ever seen? And they said it couldn't be done.
You got two more units, Maurice.
Well, notch 'em in there, Marilyn.
Notch 'em in.
I've got the Anchorage Daily News coming for photos and a spread and a letter of commendation coming from the governor.
This is the finest feather in the cap of Cicely I've ever put in there.
Our blood will help a lot of people too.
Yeah, that too.
Well, well, well, Lloyd Hillegas.
What are you doing here? We've got our blood results up here for the town to savor.
Don't think you pulled the wool over anybody's eyes, Minnifield.
Wool? Uh, what-what wool? I'm talking about blood.
and still pumping.
I think the Alaskan Blood Bank will be very happy with that, don't you? I heard about that cruise ship you shanghaied.
And there's an R.
V.
right outside, Rhode Island plates.
Oh, well, we get a lot of, uh, out-of-town visitors.
It's the waters, you know.
- Next year, Minnifield.
- Hey, don't throw that around.
I don't want to put a scarred plaque up on my wall of honor.
Hey, Lloyd, uh, you can take care of your part of the bet at the next Sons of the Tundra silent auction.
Sore loser.
Hey, Fleischman.
Hey.
What are you doing here? Wow.
What happened? What, this? You don't know? Uh, no.
What? Nothing.
Nothing? Just hit myself with my golf club, that's all.
Chipping.
The grass was wet.
Huh.
So- Am I late? Late? Oh,you came to give blood.
I'm sorry.
Have- Have a seat.
Sure.
No, you're not late.
Well, you know, it's just that I have the rest of the week off.
I don't have to fly.
I thought I could afford to get a little light-headed, you know.
Sure.
Just check your temperature, and we'll get you started.
Get you out of here in a jiffy.
Guarantee it.
That's my motto- or else your money back.
Why don't you roll up your sleeve for me? Okay.
You want to come have dinner with me tonight? Dinner, huh? Yeah.
You know, maybe we could just warm up a pizza or rent a movie.
I appreciate it, but, uh, the idea of having, uh, dinner with you and old Jedster is a tad on the cozy side.
No, Fleischman.
Jed's gone.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, he went home.
He did, huh? Back to- to Grosse Pointe? - Well, you know, he had to take Taylor for a hunt first.
- Oh, yes, hunting.
- So? - What? Oh, the blood.
I'm sorry.
Mm-hmm.
You see a good vein? Let's see.
Oh, are you kidding? A good vein- Oh, man.
That's putting it mildly.
I mean, it's absolutely stunning.
Hmm.
Ready? Do it.
He showed a lot ofheart, Gittes.
Curly was hurtin: Here's his wife.
Gittes caught her dead to rights.
Remember those peekaboo shots of her with the neighbor? Yeah.
" Quit chewing the Venetian blinds, Curly.
I just had 'em put in.
" Yeah, you make a lot of friends in this line of work, and you need 'em.
You know, Ed, if you're interested, I could send a lot of work your way.
Surveillance.
Oh, I don't know, Reynaldo.
I kind of got a lot on my plate right now.
Well, think about it.
Say, eight bucks an hour.
It's got to beat mowing lawns.
You could even work on your movie script while you're out there.
Do yourself a favor though.
Make sure you got a heater that works.
It can get cold.
Want a midget Snickers? Oh! Thanks, Reynaldo.