JAG s05e25 Episode Script

We're ready to go to shore, skipper.
You sure about that? You boys are gonna miss Navy grub.
We're Marines.
We eat sand.
- Launch them.
- Aye, aye, sir.
Bridge, TAO.
RPV target aircraft has been launched.
Request batteries released.
Permission granted.
Release batteries.
- Release batteries.
- Release batteries, aye.
- Sir, we have a problem.
- Bridge, TAO.
We have an apparent circuit-card casualty to our remote control panel.
Local control panel will take over.
Should we have the target aircraft go around again? H-Hour plus three.
Negative.
Tell local control panel to release batteries.
LCP, take control.
Release batteries.
Release batteries, aye, sir.
- I have recommend fire, sir.
- Then do it, Roberts.
- Cease fire.
- Weapons, cease fire.
Cease fire, aye, sir.
What happened? "I cannot tell you how honoured I am" That makes him sound inarticulate.
Like, why can't he tell them? Come on.
"It is with great humility I accept this honour that" Wimpy.
Admiral Chegwidden is not wimpy.
Well, then maybe he should be writing his own speeches.
Is there something the matter, dear? This dress makes me look so fat.
Honey, you're pregnant.
You're supposed to look fat.
How fat am I supposed to look, Bud? Like a station waggon? Like a blimp? Like Mount Washington? What? Why don't you just buy a new dress? Because it'd be a waste of money, unless we accompany the guest of honour to the Surface Warfare Ball every time I'm pregnant.
Which I guarantee you, I will never be again.
Hello? Yes, this is Lieutenant Roberts.
That's right.
- What happened? - What is it? When? - Were there any casualties? - What is it? Just a second.
It's my little brother.
He almost killed 15 Marines.
His ship is taking part in an amphibious landing exercise off the Florida Panhandle, sir.
Oh, the one that local environmentalists are launching rowboats to interfere with our operations? Yes, sir, and flying kites too.
Mikey's on the Wake Island.
He's a fire controlman on the CIWS gun.
Oh, I thought he was training to be a radar operator.
Well, he changed his mind.
He gets to use radar as a fire controlman, and he gets to fire a gun that shoots 6,000 rounds a minute.
I suppose that sounds like more fun.
Well, unless you're one of the Marines in the amtrac that nearly got hit, sir.
That was your brother's fault? They haven't started an investigation yet, but they're blaming him.
I'd like permission to go out there, sir.
Lieutenant, you can't investigate a case involving your own brother.
Well, I know, sir, but I can defend him if it goes to a court-martial.
And I can start preparing it just in case.
Well, sir, I've already finished a brief on the Hernandez appeal, and Lieutenant Singer can take care of the pretrial motions on Curtis.
Roberts, I have to give that damn speech in three days.
I'll be back in time, sir.
Take your laptop.
Tower, Nighthawk 04 reporting final.
Zero four, you are clear to land on Spot 5.
Roger that.
Spot 5.
Welcome aboard the Wake Island, sir.
Right this way.
- He's right through here, sir.
- Thank you.
Bud.
Lieutenant.
Just Bud.
At ease.
- What are you doing here? - I'm trying to help you, if I can.
They say I messed up the no-engage sectors, Bud, but I didn't.
Maybe I did.
They haven't even done an investigation yet.
Why are you in the brig? I told the XO I didn't do anything wrong.
A little too loud, I guess.
Captain's mast.
He gave me bread and water three days.
Dad was right about me.
I can't do anything right.
Mikey, that's not true.
I wouldn't believe what Dad said about anybody.
Well, you got away from him.
You were smart enough, Bud.
- You are too.
- I nearly killed those Marines.
It was my gun.
It was my responsibility.
We don't know that yet.
I made petty officer third class, Bud.
I didn't tell you.
I wanted it to be a surprise.
The captain busted me back down to seaman.
I'll probably go all the way to apprentice.
I'll just do my time, and I'll do the Navy a favour, and I'll leave.
So are you taking Renee? Yeah.
You know, she cancelled her trip to Hollywood.
Said she can hobnob with movie stars any time, but something called Surface Warfare Ball is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
- How about you? - Oh, I'm going stag.
Yeah, when you're dating someone If you'd like, I could ask my date if he has a friend.
He's lieutenant commander, assigned to the Joint Chiefs.
You ought to take her up on that.
You get an escort and help your career at the same time.
- Stag will be fine, but thanks.
- Yes, ma'am.
Let me know if you change your mind.
You could have insulted her.
That crack about helping my career? No, ma'am, he couldn't.
It's a big Navy.
We all need to be practical.
B- 1 crew, pull out a chain on Hangar Bay 2.
Your brother's a great guy, sir.
He's really training me great.
Thank you, seaman.
- You were there when it happened? - Yes, sir.
We were shooting at a self-propelled drone, practising knocking down incoming missiles.
- It was really cool, sir.
- I guess it was, up to a point.
I saw your brother dial in the no-engage sectors.
Just like he was supposed to.
Yeah, now what exactly are those, seaman? They block the gun from firing in a certain direction, sir.
- The direction the Marines were in? - That's right, sir.
People were pretty upset after the mishap.
The Marines were looking for a scalp.
So my brother's a scapegoat? I don't know about that, sir.
He was firing the weapon.
Well, do you think he screwed up? I checked his panel after the mishap, sir, and the no-engage sector was set right.
From 170 to 210.
Relative to the orientation of the ship.
That's where the Marine amtracs were supposed to be.
So it wasn't his fault? Sir, maybe he realised he messed up, then reset the sector before I got to it.
- Or it was a mechanical problem.
- I can't find one, sir.
And we have stripped that gun clear down to the deck.
You say that the amtrac was supposed to be in the no-engage sector.
What if it wasn't? Then, lieutenant, you're gonna have to tell it to the Marines.
We were heading toward shore, getting pushed around pretty good by the current.
And I looked out the window.
Saw rounds hitting the water.
Now, you were steering, lance corporal? Yes, sir, I was the driver.
I thought this was already settled, sir.
It was that sailor.
I spoke with the wave guide officer.
He said he had to correct your course.
Yes, sir.
We were Romeo Romeo too far to the right, but I did correct it.
How do you know that, lance corporal? Amtrac doesn't have radar, does it? No, sir.
We generally orient ourselves to a point on shore like a big tree.
Well, you were 2 miles out.
Could you even see a tree? No, sir.
It was kind of hazy.
How do you know you weren't off course? Because I was with the other amtracs, sir.
How do you know that they weren't off course? At ease.
Lieutenant, is this a safety investigation? - No, sir.
- A JAGMAN investigation? No, sir.
Actually, it's unofficial.
Don't they give you enough work in the JAG Corps to keep you busy? Yes, sir, it's just Well, my brother is Seaman Mike Roberts, sir.
The sailor that almost killed Lance Corporal Sheets.
Maybe, sir.
That's what I'm trying to find out.
- Dismissed, Marine.
- Aye, aye, sir.
Now what would Lance Corporal Sheets know about this? Well, he might know whether his amtrac was in the correct position.
I spoke with the wave guide officer, who said they had to correct course.
Did he? You're not trying to weasel your brother out of trouble by blaming the men he endangered, are you? I'm trying to establish if there might be a contributing factor to the mishap.
There wasn't.
And this unofficial investigation is over, lieutenant.
If there's anything to discover, it's best that it come out sooner rather than later.
Are you accusing me of a cover-up, lieutenant? It's in everyone's interest to find out what happened, sir.
You didn't answer my question, son.
Well, sir, you are being less than fully cooperative.
Am I? Dr.
Walden has this idea that we should meet before the ball and go in together.
That'll be a good idea, sir.
It'll be like a military escort for you.
Military escort? No, no, she wants a chance to talk with my friends.
Are we friends here? Well, I'd like to think so, sir.
I didn't think friends call each other "sir.
" Well, adding a woman to your life certainly raises new questions, doesn't it, admiral? Couple of guys talking about women.
You think that's what she had in mind? Sir, the Wake Island's X O is on Line 1.
Chegwidden.
That's right.
What about him? What? All right, thanks for letting me know.
Is there a problem, sir? Lieutenant Roberts apparently got a little over-enthusiastic in his brother's defence.
Did you bring any cold cuts? Forty-six recovery complete.
Let her down for a six-point launch.
Welcome aboard the Wake Island, colonel.
Waiting for you in the brig.
Lead the way.
Thank you.
- So, what are you boys in for? - Disrespectful conduct, ma'am.
At ease.
Sit down, Mikey.
- Technically, I'm not confined, ma'am.
- Oh, so these bars are theoretical? The Marine commander felt I was conducting my investigation in the wrong place.
He suggested that I question my brother instead.
For 24 hours.
- And what has he told you? - Not a lot, ma'am.
- He's pretty down on himself.
- Gee, I wonder why.
Why do you always have to go straight for the wisecracks? Why not? I shouldn't have been a fire controlman.
I should have been a Navy court jester.
It's our father.
If he wasn't hitting Mikey, he was putting him down.
No, maybe he just knew a loser when he saw one.
I'm sorry, colonel.
I'm okay, ma'am.
I get out of here in a few hours anyways.
Well, maybe we can bust you out too, lieutenant.
We need to clear him, ma'am.
You're a Marine.
You can break through their wall of silence.
You're a Marine.
You can break through this Navy crap.
They nearly kill our men, then smear them with the blame.
Colonel, I know Lieutenant Roberts.
I'm sure he wasn't trying to smear anybody.
It's always a delicate balance on an amphibious ship, colonel.
When you get a thousand sailors running taxi service for a thousand Marines.
I suppose there must be a little tension? The drinking fountains got turned off yesterday.
Which teed off the sailors, because my Marines are taking too many showers.
They're taking showers because they're stacked three deep on the lower decks, where the rolling makes them puke.
So, yes, you get a little tension.
We're getting pressure from Washington to make this exercise work, with a few special problems.
- Like the protesters? - For one.
And they want us to file an Environmental Impact Statement.
What are we supposed to say? Heavy artillery shells make the daisies bloom? And there's other problems.
This is a new range for all of us.
Mistakes are bound to be made.
Yes, and one was made on their side of the fence.
Colonel, if Seaman Roberts did anything wrong, he will be punished.
He's already in the brig with his brother.
I was just trying to make a point with the lieutenant.
- He's free to walk out any time.
- That's what I told him, sir.
What else are you gonna get into, colonel? Not this ridiculous investigation into whether an amtrac was a few yards off course.
No rounds were supposed to land within a mile of us.
Well, in that case, sir, I guess I'll start with the Navy.
"It is with great humility I accept the honour you have seen fit" Makes me sound like a wimp.
Do you think so, sir? - This is all he wrote before he left? - Yes, sir.
- Has he e-mailed anything? - There's no data line in the brig, sir.
When he gets home, lieutenant, you tell him I want a rewrite.
Yes, sir.
- Dismissed.
- Aye, sir.
Sir.
I've taken over the Curtis case while Lieutenant Roberts is doing whatever it is that he's doing.
I heard.
I've got a search-and-seizure issue, since the drugs were seized by Albanian Police without probable cause.
I don't think the Albanian Police are bound by Fourth Amendment rights, lieutenant.
There's a gross and brutal maltreatment exception.
I thought you might have some advice.
Lunch break.
Abandon ship.
- Am I interrupting? - No, ma'am.
If you have some time later, sir, I'd really appreciate it.
I'm sure she would.
- Would what? - Appreciate it.
Oh, I've seen this play before.
It's called The Actress and the Director.
She's not an actress, Renee.
She's planning on becoming the first female JAG.
With your help.
Will she make you vice-JAG? Try to get along.
All right, we have to socialise together over drinks before the ball.
Oh, if I live that long.
Do you think she knows where I live? Where do you wanna go to lunch? Well, there's that new Japanese-Norwegian fusion place in Southeast D.
C What? What are they gonna serve? Raw reindeer meat? - Yeah, maybe.
- Sir.
Ma'am.
Oh, a pregnancy uniform.
Well, that was thoughtful of the Navy.
Yes, ma'am, and I may be wearing it to the ball.
Well, that's ridiculous.
Well, all my other dresses are too snug now.
Look.
The costumer on one of my music videos used to costume Madonna, and she's been pregnant.
- Oh, I'm sure I couldn't afford that.
- Afford? Things fall off the costume truck all the time.
How about a second helping? And some gravy on those mashed potatoes, please.
- You want any bread with that? - No, no.
I got it in Key West.
You think Jennifer will like it? You're still buying presents for that girl? That must have been some leave, man.
She's a great girl, Mikey.
And I'm sure she does some great things, Harold.
Hey, where's our lemon-meringue pie? All out.
They have pie.
Yeah, because the people in that line only take one piece each.
Well, I'll take some of theirs, then.
We split it equally at the start of each meal.
You want dessert? We got lemon Jell-O.
Come on, man, you heard the colonel.
- It ain't worth it.
- Damn squids.
Hey, Roberts.
You should have aimed a little higher.
Zodiac off the port quarter, captain, - It's protesters again.
- Put a boat in.
Warn them away.
Aye, aye, sir.
Good afternoon, sir.
- Trouble? - Politics, so yes.
Lieutenant, I understand you had an extended visit to our brig.
- Yes, sir.
It's an excellent brig, sir.
- Glad to hear it.
Captain, Lieutenant Roberts has taken his informal investigation into the Marine role in the mishap as far as he could.
Actually, a littler bit further, I gather.
I'm not prejudging the matter, but it appears his brother has some serious dereliction of duty to answer for.
I think it's still too early to come to that conclusion.
But if the Marines are off the hook Well, sir, the FC-1 checked Seaman Roberts' no-engage settings, and they were correct.
When they were inspected, after the mishap.
Weren't they supposed to be checked before the gun was fired, sir? We were planning on operating the system from CIC.
But the remote panel malfunctioned.
In a case like that, isn't it customary to send the target around while local panel settings are confirmed? Colonel Pergament had a strong desire to proceed.
I command the ship.
He commands the joint operation.
You gave the order, sir.
- Are you blaming me? - Are you blaming him, sir? What the hell is going on on the Wake Island? I don't know, sir.
Apparently, Lieutenant Roberts' younger brother made some mistake in programming a weapon.
And started World War III between the Navy and the Marine Corps? Well, sir, they've been calling each other jarheads and squids since the Civil War.
There's something more at stake here, A.
J.
This is the first joint live-fire exercise since the problems at Vieques.
Oh, right, when the civilian was killed by the stray bomb.
I saw the Puerto Rican governor on 60 Minutes.
He suggested Martha's Vineyard as an alternative site for live-fire training.
Well, at least he's been able to keep his sense of humour.
Since that trouble at Vieques, we've had to cobble together piecemeal exercises in Florida, North Carolina, Scotland, and no combined operations.
I know that hurts.
We are sending our people into combat zones without the training they need.
This new Florida site might be an alternative to Vieques if the local environmentalists don't stop us.
And the Navy and the Marine Corps don't stop each other.
I imagine the commanders involved are too mature for that, sir.
I want him off this ship.
Colonel, you have every right to keep him away from your Marines.
- You want him to stay? - We all want a full, fair investigation.
I'm a little disturbed at how far afield you're going.
- Are you saying she's the problem? - Colonel, captain, I'm sure There's a chain of command for handling things.
A proper chain would show respect for the men who were shot at.
- I never intend - And for authority.
Are things hitting a little too close to home, skipper? If you would only make your people available - This conversation - Is over.
Joint Strike 5, we have a target for you.
Bunker grid 17 lima, over.
Roger.
This is Quick Strike.
We're on it.
Tower, Hawkeye 07, reporting final.
Zero seven, you are cleared to land on Spot 3.
Roger that.
Spot 3.
Welcome aboard the Wake Island, commander.
Right this way.
Well, at least I'm not looking at the two of you through bars.
Sorry you had to come out here to sort this out, sir.
How's the admiral? You know, he seemed actually more concerned about the status of his speech.
I tried to get to it after I got out of the brig, sir, but I've been a little distracted.
My brother's in real trouble.
As I understand it, your brother messed up the settings of a gun that fires 6,000 rounds a minute, and it almost sank an amphibious track vehicle with 15 Marines onboard.
Well, that's just it, sir.
There's no evidence that he messed up the setting.
A fire controlman apprentice that he was training saw him set it correctly.
His lead petty officer inspected it after the mishap and found that it was set correctly.
The skipper authorised the firing without taking time to double-check the equipment, which is normally SOP.
I think he was a little intimidated by the Marine commander.
That, colonel, may be the reason we're in trouble here.
We're in trouble because the skipper didn't order the target drone to go around again when the first panel went down.
So the first panel malfunctioned.
The second panel is set correctly, but still misfires.
Am I the only one who sees a pattern here? - Hello, this is Lieutenant Roberts.
- Ship to shore, sir.
Go ahead.
- Hey, sweetie, it's me.
- Harriet.
Hi.
I'm with Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie.
Harriet spoke to Miss Peterson, who says that you should rush right home and I'll have to tell you later, sir.
And, Bud, Renee has this friend of hers that works on music videos.
Do you remember that Madonna song, "Pregnant Slut" or something like that? - I'm not sure.
- Anyway, she got the dress Madonna wore.
It is so great.
Well, Harriet, I don't know if we can afford No, no, it's free.
It's totally free.
It sort of just fell off the wardrobe truck.
Harriet, you cannot wear a dress stolen from Madonna.
We taught him good, didn't we? Lieutenant Turner, report to the flight deck.
Lieutenant Turner, report to the flight deck.
So Admiral Chegwidden apologises for any improper intrusion by members of his staff.
I've spoken to both of them.
I've also been asking questions about the mishap.
- You too? - Yes, sir.
It seems there's been a series of mishaps.
First the remote control CIWS panel abruptly malfunctions, and then the local control panel malfunctioned.
And, captain, has anything else gone wrong aboard ship during the exercise? A 33,000-ton ship with 36 aircraft and 2,500 men aboard? - Yes, a few things have gone wrong.
- Such as? Some minor radar problems.
One of the elevators was out for a few hours.
I'm sure you'll find a leaky toilet somewhere.
No doubt in the Marine head.
Colonel, captain, don't you think it would be prudent to find out exactly what has happened here before continuing with this exercise? - Why? - Sir, you nearly lost 15 men.
Human error.
Maybe.
Commander, if we don't train our people for combat with live ammunition, the next time they do this for real, some of them will die who don't have to die.
You want us to stop because of maybe this or maybe that.
- Colonel, I'm well aware - I'm not sure what JAG is aware of.
And we may be having problems with the Navy, but at least I'm dealing with line officers who understand the realities of what we're doing here.
I have never seen an indication that staff core officers have a clue.
Good day, captain.
Good day, colonel.
Well, I guess you're off his Christmas-card list too.
Captain Lyle, your presence is requested on the bridge.
I say again, Captain Lyle, to the bridge.
Sir, that protest boat's inside our security perimeter.
Then let's get it the hell out of our security perimeter.
This is the captain of the U.
S.
S.
Wake Island.
Remove yourselves from the vicinity.
You are interfering with Navy operations.
Remove yourselves from the vicinity now.
Still coming, sir.
- Come right ten degrees.
- Aye, aye, sir.
- Come right.
Steer course 105.
- Coming right 105, aye.
Still heading towards us, sir.
If they're trying to ram us, they aren't very good at physics, are they? They're looking for an incident that'll make headlines, captain.
Sound collision alarm.
I can't see them.
Sir, forward watch reports a collision.
People in the water.
About ten minutes, sir.
Thank you.
- Tiner.
- Sir.
- You heard from anybody? - Not lately, sir.
What in God's name are they doing down there? I don't know, sir.
All right.
Pretend you two are surface warfare officers.
- Not a problem, sir.
- How would you feel about an officer who joined your branch of the service late and left it early? Sir, they feel good enough about you to be giving you an award, you should be honoured.
Deputy CNO turned down the honour.
Had a prior commitment in Italy.
Probably had a golf tournament.
I'm sure they're better off with you, sir.
Have either of you ever written a speech? Where are my friends? They're in the sick bay.
They're still being checked out.
You have no jurisdiction over us.
I'm not here to prosecute.
I just came to talk.
How about over sherry in the officer's club? This is a little grim, don't you think? I guess you figure we should let you out, wander about the ship smashing things, huh? You're worried I might break one of your guns? Do you know what you people are doing to the national forest? Look, it's over 650,000 acres.
We're using less than 1 percent of it.
There's an elementary school 8 miles from where your bombs come in.
There's a colony of endangered saltwater plovers right next to the beach the Marines land on.
I'm sure everybody would be happy if we could conduct these exercises on the moon, Miss Duke.
Unfortunately, there is a price to freedom.
- There's got to be a better place.
- That's what the Puerto Ricans said.
Maybe you wanna have this conversation with them.
- I want a lawyer.
- And a reporter and a photographer? "Navy Ship Sinks Protest Boat.
" Why didn't you bring the press with you anyway? They'll hear about it.
It's poor planning on your part.
And a rubber Zodiac.
Not even a nice wooden boat to break up.
- Makes a better picture.
- We ended up in the water.
Yeah, you jumped in the water.
This whole thing has been improvised, hasn't it? Last minute, last ditch.
You didn't make a better plan, because you didn't feel you needed a better plan.
You one of those Navy mind readers? You thought these exercises would already be cancelled, didn't you? You mean, because of that incident with the gun? - Petty Officer Roberts? - How'd you know about that? I asked for a lawyer, and you didn't get me one, so nothing I say now can be used against me.
- If you say so.
- You can check with a lawyer.
I'll be sure to do that.
You're not saying anything, Ms.
Duke.
A friend of ours hacked into your computer.
He said you have a mile-wide entry through your e-mail portals.
So this problem we had with the gun? That was us.
No, it's not a problem at all.
I'm serious.
Yeah, if you want me to, I will.
I will.
Things are kind of slow.
I could probably meet you at 5.
- Tiner.
- Very good, sir.
I'll get right on it.
Did you get promoted while I was in the head? Just keeping the admiral's things in order, Gunny.
Dr.
Walden's on Line 3.
She asked to speak to you.
Petty Officer Tiner.
He should be back in 24 hours, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am, I will.
Skyhawk 7, this is Tiger 5.
What's going on down there? Tiger 5, looks like they've popped the red smoke.
- This exercise is history.
- I copy that.
Well deck is flooded.
Prepare to recover incoming amtracs.
Clear flight deck of all nonessential personnel and equipment.
Welcome aboard the Wake Island, admiral.
Right this way.
- Is the SECNAV here? - Yes, sir.
- Who's in the helo behind me? - We don't know, sir.
Top secret.
Webb, what are you doing here? - I didn't know you'd come aboard.
- That's the way we like it.
All right, I just wanna make sure I understand what's going on here.
A petty officer third class misfired a CIWS gun at some Marines.
Which prompted his brother to come out here and take a different kind of shot at the Marines.
Which led to Colonel MacKenzie coming out and taking a crack at the Navy.
Which led to Commander Rabb's coming out here to calm things down.
And as long as he was already here, he decided to make a recommendation that all the ships and planes and Marines and sailors embarked on this very important exercise stand down and go home.
Did I miss anything? We received a credible claim from one of the protest leaders that they'd hacked into the ship's computer system and caused the CIWS mishap.
Which means that my brother didn't do anything wrong.
At this point, if I may, I don't give a damn whether his brother did anything wrong or not.
I've got a battalion of Marines headed for the Middle East that need to continue their training before they go.
The Pentagon sympathizes with your position, colonel.
It wants this exercise to proceed.
Is that because of military necessity or politics? The White House agreed to suspend live-fire training on Vieques, and it's taken flak for it.
If this new range works out, they're off the hook.
If not Just wondering.
Sir, I'm responsible for the safety of this ship.
I endorse a stand-down while we investigate the protester's claim.
- Then they win.
- If the ship blows up, they really win.
Commander Rabb has done us all an enormous service by uncovering the situation.
Unless she lied.
- Who lied? - The protester, sir.
Their goal is to make us go away.
Tampering with the computer system will do that.
So will making us think they've tampered with the ship's computer system.
She knew about the CIWS mishap.
She knew Seaman Roberts' name.
So they tapped into the ship's computer, or they have a spy.
Speaking of which, Mr.
Webb, what exactly is the CIA's interest here? You people are in Florida because Puerto Rico doesn't want your war games there.
If this exercise doesn't work, you're gonna wanna go back to Puerto Rico.
Which is gonna make the Puerto Ricans unhappy.
Which would make the Cubans very happy.
- You think this is a Cuban plot? - I'm saying we wanna find out.
- Well, my brother is not a Cuban spy.
- I didn't say he was.
Why don't we have Seaman Roberts walk us through his procedures prior to the firing of the gun.
- Why? - Well, sir, he claims that he did everything correctly before firing.
If he's right, then these sabotage claims could be true.
But if he made a mistake, we can rule out sabotage, and the exercise can proceed.
So we have to hope one of my men made a bad mistake, and is either too dumb to realise it, or is lying about it? Couple of you can scoot right in here.
Excuse me, sir.
Just walk us through everything you did on the day of the mishap, Seaman Roberts.
I was sitting here.
About an hour before the target drill was due, I got an order relayed from the captain, sir, to set no-engage sectors.
The gun's already set, so it won't blow up the bridge or anything.
The system's hard-stopped, so we don't shoot ourselves.
Yes, sir, but that day, we were worried about the Marines.
They'd be coming out of the stern.
I set a no-engage sector between 170 and 210, sir.
You're sure you entered relative bearing, not true? Yes, sir.
I even had my apprentice, Seaman Schofield, double-check me.
That's the way it was set when it was checked after the mishap.
Seaman Roberts, have you been approached by any Latin Americans in the last few months? Sir? Who was in the room with you around the time of the firing, Roberts? Just some designated strikers, sir, standing by to clean and reload the gun.
And Seaman Schofield.
Did you leave here at any time between setting no-engage sectors and when the drone showed up? To the head for five minutes, but well in advance of the drone's arrival.
Did you leave the room after firing and before your panel was checked by the FC-1? I ran outside when they cried ceasefire, ma'am.
I just wanted to see if anybody was hurt.
But I locked off access to the panel both times that I left.
And no one even knew how to work it except Seaman Schofield.
Staying in touch with your friends back home, Seaman Schofield? As you were.
E-mail.
You live around here, don't you? About 12 miles that direction, huh? Yes, sir.
Harris City, Florida.
Just a little place.
I understand you met a girl on your last liberty.
- Sir? - Oh, your friend Mikey says you've been talking about her a lot, and buying her presents.
Is she from your hometown? I knew her from high school, sir.
Haven't seen her for awhile.
Is she keeping herself busy in the meantime? She works for an insurance office, sir.
Does she have any hobbies? Special interests? - Sir? - Is she interested in the environment? Or the national forest? She got you fired up about her interests, Seaman Schofield? If she's one of the protesters, we're gonna find out.
Sir, there are plenty of other places the Navy can hold war games.
North Carolina, Scotland.
I read an article in the Navy Times about an island in Italy.
I grew up hiking in that forest, sir.
We went skinny-dipping in a pond just at the edge of the range.
Somebody might have been killed, Seaman Schofield.
- Were you messing with that gun? - No, sir.
I set it to shoot close to the Marines, not at them.
The Marines were off course.
Sir, I know how to set the sectors.
Mikey taught me, sir.
He made a full statement.
He said it was all his idea.
He was just trying to impress a girl.
- Aren't we all? - Not all.
Seaman Roberts, I guess you can put your petty officer's crow back on your sleeve.
- Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
- You did everything right, Mikey.
Hey, don't I always? Sir.
So if it's okay with everybody, we're proceeding with our exercise now.
They're going in to soften up defences.
In 37 minutes, we start 5-inch guns from three cruisers.
Then the Marines go ashore from us and the Palo Alto, accompanied by CIWS fire, with Petty Officer Roberts back on station.
I hope you'll stay and watch the show.
Well, we'd love to, skipper, but we have urgent JAG business back in Washington.
Tiner called.
He said they're on their way.
Well, Tiner lies for him.
My date's a no-show.
He's stuck in some postmortem meeting about a problem at a war game.
Wasn't Harm supposed to take care of that? They all were.
- Hello, ladies.
- Harriet.
- How interesting.
- Well, you can't wear that.
- I have to.
- I brought the dress.
I cannot go to the ball with my husband, the Naval attorney, wearing stolen property.
He has a point.
It's not stolen.
Abandoned.
I faxed this letter to Madonna's manager this afternoon.
"I have your dress from the 'Like a Harlot' video.
Will be pleased to return it upon your request.
" You faxed this two hours ago.
She probably hasn't even seen it yet.
Well, is that our problem? - Counsellor? - Kosher.
Okay.
Good God, I'm supposed to be accepting the plaque in nine minutes.
Here you go, sir.
"After having the privilege of serving as a Navy SEAL" - Are we going the right way? - Yes, it's up here.
"I join the Surface Warfare community, one of the finest fighting organisations on this planet when you finally got tired of me and kicked me out"? It's a little humour, sir.
People like that.
Rabb stood me up three of our first four dates.
He was in Iceland, and then he almost drowned on a sinking ship, and then there was something else t I forget.
I used to go out with a divorced anaesthesiologist.
Least I knew where to find him.
- Exactly.
- Good evening.
I was about to dump you for the bartender.
- Yeah, well, I already did.
- Oh, really? - Harriet.
- It's okay, Bud.
They said it was.
It's not okay.
It's great.
- Can we go in now? - Loren.
Plan B.
Alfred.
Well, you know, Mac, the bartender is kind of cute.
Let's go.
May I have the honour of escorting you in? - Mic, what are you doing here? - I reserved my commission, Sarah.
I moved to Washington.
To be near the woman I love.
Chitchat later, Brumby.
We're going in.