Alfred Hitchcock Presents s05e28 Episode Script

Good evening.
If you've been wondering where it all began Here it is.
In fact, here is where the first flat tire was patched, some 4,000 years ago.
Patching was more practical, since a spare tire weighed several thousand pounds.
Of course, once the wheel was invented, many things became possible.
Things which, before, had been only dreams.
Things like the pancake, the pizza and the doughnut.
Of course, it took a long time for these things to catch on, since for hundreds of years, it was naturally assumed that they had to be made out of stone.
But now, I must interrupt this scholarly discussion to bring you tonight's play.
It is called "Forty Detectives Later".
There are a lot of private detectives in this country.
And once there was a man who seemed determined to hire 'em all.
From Rahway, New Jersey, to Scranton, P.
A.
, to the west side of Chicago, he hired 'em.
And finally, he got around to me.
I was number 41 on the list and I wasn't flattered.
Mr.
Tyre? I'm Munro Dean.
I called you this morning.
Oh, sure, Mr.
Dean, I remember.
Come on in.
Have a seat.
Seems to me I've heard your name somewhere before.
You may have.
Were you ever with the police, Mr.
Tyre? No, not exactly.
But I've got a lot of friends on the force.
It was something about your wife, wasn't it? Something about my wife, yeah.
Happened in October, He was a slim, dark man with bushy black hair.
I came home from work one night and saw him running out the back door.
My wife was in the living room, dead.
The police never caught him.
Mm-hmm.
But you're still interested in finding this guy? Interested? Yes, I'm still interested.
I've been looking for him ever since it happened and you know that, Mr.
Tyre.
All you people, all you detectives, you know all about that.
You think I'm some sort of a funny joke.
Now wait just a minute.
You think I don't know? I've had forty detectives working for me, and not one of them's helped me.
Some of them even took advantage of me.
Now look, Mr.
Dean, let's get one thing straight, shall we? Most of us guys are in this business for money.
Only some of us take a long-range view, Mr.
Dean.
Some of us feel that an unhappy client is a bad advertisement.
So I'm telling you right now.
I'm no smarter than the police.
And I'm no smarter than most of the other guys you've already hired.
So here's your hat, Mr.
Dean.
I think you better go out and hire detective number 42.
Because I don't think I can find your man for you.
You won't have to.
I've found him for you.
You found him? I've found him.
I did what forty experts couldn't do.
All right, so you found him.
Why don't you go and tell the police about it? Because it wouldn't do any good.
The police lost interest in the case a long time ago.
Besides, I can't really prove he's the man.
For one thing, he's changed.
He's older.
He's fatter.
He's lost some of his hair.
But he's the man.
What makes you so sure? Because I am.
That face is engraved right here.
It's funny, you know that? All those years, all those detectives.
And by chance, I see him in a book store.
It's possible.
Don't forget, Mr.
Dean, your description of him was pretty vague.
Maybe you're the only one who could have spotted this guy.
Now what kind of book store was it? It was one of those rundown shops on the north side of town.
You know the kind of thing.
Books, postcards, old records.
He was working behind the counter.
Maybe he even owns the place.
He didn't look very prosperous.
Mm-hmm.
But you didn't let him see you? No.
I don't want it to happen that way.
I ducked out as soon as I saw his face.
Now, that's why I came to see you, Mr.
Tyre.
I want you to act as go-between.
I want you to set up a meeting.
What for? What do you suppose? Uh-uh.
Listen, pal, the last time I set up a target was at Fort Dix.
I'm not interested in that kind of assignment.
You don't understand.
I just want to talk to him.
Meet him face to face.
I want to be sure he's the right man.
Well, now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute, Mr.
Dean.
I thought you said before you were so positive.
Mr.
Tyre.
We're just wasting valuable time.
Do you want to take this job, or don't you? Well, I don't know.
It could be dangerous.
For you, I mean.
If he really is your wife's murderer and he knows who you are I've thought about that.
There's no reason why he should know until we're actually face to face.
Now.
I'm at the Hotel Bayshore on Smith Street.
I'm in Room 305, registered under the name of Adams.
Harry Adams.
All you have to do is get him there.
Harry Adams? Yes.
You may want to use the name when you first approach him.
It might make things easier.
But then, I don't have to teach you your business, do I, Mr.
Tyre? All you detectives are so clever.
Okay, Mr.
Dean.
I don't like this kind of work, but I've got a couple of good reasons for taking the case.
Such as? Food and shelter.
Now, what was the name of that book store? It was just before noon when I walked into the grimy joint where my pigeon was roosting.
There was an inch of dust on everything, including the customers.
I didn't have any trouble spotting my man.
I tried to place him in my mental rogue's gallery, but nothing clicked.
He was just a guy.
I didn't even know what kind of a guy.
Hard-boiled.
Yeah, two eggs.
And a container of black coffee.
Nah, I don't want no Danish pastry.
Look, will you please hurry it up? Okay, Sol.
Listen, will you get it here in about fifteen minutes, on account of I'm starved.
All right.
Bye.
Now what was that, mister? I said, since when do you call these French postcards? What's wrong with 'em? They're the best shots of Paris I ever saw.
What, are you kidding me, buddy? I see better on the midway.
Flake off, will you, Mac? Need some help, mister? I dunno.
I see you got some old Paul Whiteman records here, I was just wondering if Bix was on any of 'em.
That's Bix Beiderbecke.
You don't have to tell me.
I'm an old Bix fan from way back.
Ain't many of us around these days.
You're a collector too, huh? Oh, sure.
Only these old scratchy records don't appeal to me no more.
I dig hi-fi, you know what I mean? Stereo.
Yeah, I guess that's okay.
But I dunno, there's something about the old jazz Oh, I'm not putting down the old jazz.
Come here a minute.
You just give me some nice Brubecks at about 20,000 cycles, with all those tweeters and woofers going? Man, you really got something.
Hey, if you're really interested in the old labels, I got a pretty good private collection I'd be willing to dump.
For the right price.
Well, what have you got? Man, you name it, I got it.
Let's see, I got a bunch of Fletcher Hendersons on Vocalion, some old Louis's, a big stack of Bluebirds.
We could make a good deal.
Well, that sounds okay.
Look, you don't suppose you could bring a few samples up to my hotel room tonight, could you? I'm staying at a joint called the Bayshore, it's not far from here.
Man, you're kidding.
It would take a truck to haul all the old records I got anywhere.
Tell you what.
Why don't you stop over at my place and look the stuff over? Like maybe Well, you sure it wouldn't be too much trouble? Heck, no.
I'll give you a treat.
I'll let you listen to some real hi-fi.
Otto's.
Hello, Gloria.
Huh? No, just chewin' the fat with a buddy of mine Yeah, sure, if you want to.
Why not? My buddy's comin' over, too.
Hmm? Oh, sure.
Sure, he's nuts about the bongos.
Okay, doll.
See you tonight.
That's my girl.
She's a pain in the neck, but she's good for laughs.
Hey, I forgot to introduce myself.
I'm Otto.
My name's Adams.
Harry Adams.
I called Munro Dean at his hotel and told him about my progress.
He didn't sound very grateful.
He just told me to come over.
Well, he was paying for my time, so I did.
Oh.
Come in.
Thanks.
I was just having a little drink.
Would you care to join me? No, thanks.
So, you've met our friend.
Yeah, I got that far all right.
The hook's in his mouth.
But the next part isn't gonna be so easy.
Getting him up here.
But you think you can do it? Yeah, I can do it.
It's been so long.
So many years.
And so many dollars.
This search of yours hasn't been cheap, has it, Mr.
Dean? No.
It cost me thousands, hiring all those men.
But you're still sure he's the guy? You're not making any mistake? Why do you say that? I don't know.
He seems like a pretty jolly type, that's all.
He's the man all right.
If I'm sure of anything, I'm sure of that.
Okay, Mr.
Dean.
I'll keep you in touch.
If there's nothing else right now No.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
Well, I suppose that's a good idea.
You might need the protection.
It's not for me.
It's for you.
For me? Take it, Tyre.
I don't know anything about guns.
They frighten me.
Take it.
Well, what do you want me to do with it? I thought I could do it myself, but I can't.
After all these years and I can't.
I want you to do it for me.
I want you to kill him.
Now that's a real pretty weapon, Mr.
Dean.
Why don't you just hang that on a mantelpiece somewhere? I mean it, Tyre! I want you to kill him for me.
He deserves it.
You know he does.
Sure, Mr.
Dean.
Only I think you better let the cops handle our friend Otto.
Don't you? If you can prove that he's your wife's murderer you Don't lecture me! I'm sick of all these lectures! I want you to kill this man for me.
He killed the most important thing in my life.
And I'll give you $3,000 to avenge me! Three grand? Yes! And there'll be no risk, don't you see? No risk at all! lt'll be self-defense.
After all, I hired you to protect me, didn't I? When this man comes here and learns who I am, he's going to threaten me, isn't he? But before he can do anything, you fire.
Can't you see it? Yeah, I can see it, Mr.
Dean.
Only I can't buy it.
Not even at your price.
Four thousand.
No! Five! Now cut it out! Cut it out before you hit a number that tempts me, because I don't want to be tempted.
Do you understand that, Mr.
Dean? All right.
If that's how you want it.
That's how I want it.
I'll be in touch with you as soon as I get the meeting set up.
And, Mr.
Dean? Yes? I wouldn't try any do-it-yourself, if I were you.
The law's pretty definite about murder in this state, no matter what the reason.
I'll remember that.
You ever see a rig like this in your life? Man, I hate to tell you what the speakers alone cost me.
Music's kinda loud, isn't it? Yeah, ain't it great? Only you're not gettin' the full effect.
Come here.
See, this is stereo, you know what I mean? You gotta be in the right position.
There we Will you cut that out a minute, huh? Ah, that's right.
Perfect.
See, I got all the angles figured exactly.
Come on, Gloria, will you listen to the music, please? Why can't I play the bongos? You can play the bongos later.
Sit here and listen.
Hear that? You hear that? See, you got the bass coming in on the left ear and the treble on the right, they both come together in the middle.
Am I right or am I right? Not for me.
My ears are too far apart.
It's because you got no music appreciation.
Am I right, Harry? Oh, yeah, Otto, that's great, that's real great.
Say, I was wondering if we talk about those records now? Oh, yeah, the records.
I almost forgot.
Come on! See, I got just what I told you I had.
King Oliver and the Dixieland Jazz Band, Louis and the Hot Five All choice stuff.
Yeah, I can see that, all right.
Hey, Otto, how about some Brubeck? My bongo's getting cold.
Will you butt out? I'm talking business.
What about it, Harry? Now how many records you got in all, Otto? Two hundred, maybe.
I'll make you a good deal if you take the whole lot.
What kind of deal? It's worth five hundred, maybe more.
But for a buddy, I'll make it two-fifty.
How's that? Two-fifty, huh? Well, the price isn't so bad, Otto.
You see, I only got one small problem.
What's that? Well I haven't got too much cash on me now, and I don't want to stick you with a check.
Suppose I pay you off tomorrow night, at my hotel? Are you kiddin'? Come on, let's listen to music.
I ain't in no hurry.
But, Otto.
You see, I am.
I'm going out of town in a couple of days, and I'd like to get this thing settled.
So if you could come up tomorrow night, about 8:30, I'd have the cash for you by then.
We'll talk about delivery later on.
Okay, if that's the way you want it, fine.
Oh, good.
I'm staying at the Hotel Bayshore.
That's over on Smith.
You better make note of that.
All right.
It's Hotel Bayshore, Room 305.
Harry Adams.
Adams.
Yeah.
Okay, Otto.
Thanks.
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Are you ready for this? I want you to hear something really special.
Wait a minute.
Got it right here.
A stereo recording of two trains crashing into each other head on.
Man, it's an experience.
Aw, heck, Otto! How can I play the bongos to a train wreck? So the hook was in his mouth, and I was reeling him in.
It had been easy.
But somehow, watching him play with his expensive toy like an overgrown kid, I wasn't feeling very happy about my work So it's all set.
He's coming up tonight to see Harry Adams.
He thinks he's made a deal for some records.
You've done well, Mr.
Tyre.
You're the only detective I've hired that's really been of service to me.
Now you said your fee was fifty dollars a day.
Yeah, plus expenses.
There weren't too many.
It comes to a hundred and twelve dollars.
That's a fair price.
Here.
What's the matter? I thought you said you preferred cash.
I do.
Then take it.
You act like my money's dirty.
Well, that depends.
I'm not sure what I've sold you.
You sold me justice.
Anything wrong with that? You plan on letting the police in on your justice, Mr.
Dean? Or are you just gonna keep it all to yourself? Mr.
Tyre, I thought you were a businessman.
I am.
Then don't you know how business is conducted? Once a piece of merchandise is bought and paid for, the seller has no more rights in the matter.
The transaction's closed.
Only we're not talking about merchandise, are we, Mr.
Dean? We're talking about a man.
You mean a murderer.
Good day, Mr.
Tyre.
And thank you for a very efficient job.
Thanks.
But just let me warn you about one thing.
Stay out of it from now on.
Stay away from Otto.
And stay away from those "friends" of yours on the police force.
Like you said, Mr.
Dean.
I'm a businessman.
It was at 6:00 that night that I typed out my final report on the Munro Dean case.
It was pretty skimpy, because I left out my speculations about what might happen in Room 305 at the Hotel Bayshore.
That part was out of my hands.
I suppose I should have been feeling sorry for Munro Dean.
He was a man on a noble mission to track down the murderer of his wife.
But for some reason, I felt sorrier for a hi-fi bug named Otto, who'd knock on Dean's door in a couple of hours, and hear a riff like he'd never heard before.
I wasn't proud to file the Dean case away.
I had a drawerful of cases that didn't make me feel pleased with my chosen profession.
Divorce cases, runaway husbands, double-crossing wives But there was nothing on file like this.
Nothing under M for murder.
But my assignment was finished.
So a little after 7:00, I decided to leave the office and visit the chophouse down the street.
I didn't stay there very long.
Nothing on the menu stirred my appetite, so I had a cup of coffee and went for a walk.
Hard as I tried to think my way out of it, one thing kept coming back to me.
I was putting the finger on a guy.
That's the same record he was playing up in his apartment.
Could be his funeral march.
I didn't think about where I was going.
I let my feet do the thinking.
But somehow, I found myself across the street from Munro Dean's hotel.
I stood there, waiting, just as if I were being paid for a stakeout.
But I wasn't being paid.
The report was all typed.
The file drawer was closed.
The money was in my pocket.
But I just stood there, waiting.
It was 8:25.
Almost time for Otto to arrive.
Suddenly, I found myself hoping he wouldn't show at all.
But there he came, right on schedule.
My chubby friend, who liked Bix Beiderbecke, high-fidelity, and hardboiled eggs.
The job was over.
I didn't have to hang around there anymore.
I had nothing more to do with it.
It was all up to the man in Room 305.
Was it? Drop the gun! Drop it! Don't let him get it! Don't let him get it! Don't let him Now it's your turn, finger man.
Now, wait a minute, Otto.
Now wait a minute.
Now don't try Now, look, Otto.
You know who that guy is? Do you recognize him? You dirty crumb! You set me up good Now look, you've got to tell me! Why did he do it? Not gonna tell you nothing.
Otto, I'm just a hired hand.
A private investigator.
That's your story.
Now, look, I've got to know.
Did you kill Dean's wife? Yes.
Yes, I killed her.
I was a hired hand, too.
He paid me to kill her, back in '48.
He got nightmares about it.
And he hired guys all over the country to find me and knock me off.
So I wouldn't talk.
I used to think I was the kind of guy who'd do anything for money.
But I'd done too much already.
It didn't help much, but I gave it back.
I seem to have been mistaken about this.
It's not a wheel.
It's a record.
Long-playing, of course.
The title is Ten Evenings with the Stonehenge Philharmonic.
My, their disc jockeys must've been formidable men.
While you are pondering my pithy remarks, I must take leave.
Next time, we plan to show another story in two acts.
And, of course, your host making his two appearances in one.
Until next time, good night.