Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s05e49 Episode Script

[MOUSE SQUEAKS.]
[PENGUINS CHIRP.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
Adventure time come on, grab your friends we'll go to very distant lands with Jake the dog and finn the human the fun will never end it's adventure time [TRUMPET PLAYING.]
[APPLAUSE.]
BUBBLEGUM: [SIGHS.]
Whew! Ladies and gentlemen, I have invented time travel.
This phasical sphere is flooded with info waves that scan every second, logging every molecule that passes through its volume.
I made special gloves for it.
[SPHERE WHIRRING.]
Now check it out! It's logging time! [BOTH BABBLING.]
[SPITS.]
[BOTH BABBLING.]
BUBBLEGUM: I'll set the clock back now.
[CLOCK BEEPS, WHIRS.]
[BOTH BABBLING RAPIDLY.]
Now I'll push the time-travel button.
[CLOCK BEEPS.]
BOTH: Aah! [BOTH BABBLING.]
JAKE: Eh, it's not really time travel, though.
You just, you know, moved their stuff around.
You didn't really manipulate time.
Ice king's done it better before with magic.
Well, I enjoyed your presentation very much, princess.
Thank you for inviting me.
BUBBLEGUM: No! For all intents and purposes, they traveled back to an earlier point in their time.
JAKE: Eh, I guess, but not really.
I mean, ice king did it for real.
Guy pulled his fiancée out of time from a thousand years ago using magic.
Hey, time, where's my fiancée, am I right? [BELL JINGLES.]
JAKE: [CHUCKLES.]
BUBBLEGUM: Jake, don't deny my science! This is a time-travel machine.
Hyah! Take me back to when my ex-boyfriend Brad loved me! [SHOUTING.]
BUBBLEGUM: Lsp.
What? BUBBLEGUM: Lsp, that's not how it works.
It can only rearrange your molecules into a previously logged formation, and you need these gloves.
Give them to me.
BUBBLEGUM: No.
You witch.
Give them to me now! BUBBLEGUM: No, I'm sorry, but you need to pull yourself -- you skunk! BUBBLEGUM: Hey! You skunk! You skunk! You pretty skunk! You don't know heartache, with the whole candy kingdom in love with your pretty bubblegum buns! Aah! [BABBLING, BREATHING HEAVILY.]
BUBBLEGUM: Hear me, lumpy space princess, I will avoid declaring war on the entirety of lumpy space, ruled by your parents, if you apologize to me immediately! I'm sorry-y-y-y-y-y.
I'm sorry you're so stupid.
BOTH: Whoa! [BOTH LAUGH.]
BUBBLEGUM: Sheesh.
I'd love to get you on a slow boat to China all to myself alone everyone in here is a loser.
Nobody's as good as Brad.
Oh, Brad! Why can't I get over you? Have you tried burning an effigy? That's what they do in movies.
This isn't a movie, Charlie! It's real life! [SIGHS.]
Another cucumber water, your majesty? [GRUFFLY.]
What? Oh, I-I'm sorry for staring, but, uh, I know you.
W-we used to -- everyone knows me.
I'm lumpy space princess.
No, uh, from high school -- w-we were lab partners.
I'm Johnnie.
"Ugly Johnnie"? Y-yeah, you used to call me that quite a bit.
Yeah.
But I can't call you that anymore.
Come on.
Sit up straight.
Let me see them eyes.
Mm.
Do it.
Nope.
Can't call you that anymore.
[LAUGHS CRAZILY.]
So, what brings you to the candy kingdom, Johnnie? Business, uh, actually.
I own my own company, bottling and distributing lumpy gas.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm up for a big contract, uh, here in the kingdom, which could really help my business "take off," so to speak.
That's so cool.
You're like your own boss or whatever.
To be honest, I'm a little nervous about this meeting tomorrow.
Why, Johnnie? I'm bad at talking to people.
That's because you have poor posture.
Really? You got to stop slouching.
Now look me in the eye! Yeah, stay like that.
Boy, lsp.
[CHUCKLES.]
You sure are making me feel good about myself.
You feeling good makes me feel good, Johnnie.
So, where are you staying while you're in town? I'm subletting a friend's apartment.
Talk is cheap, Johnnie.
You should take me there.
[DOORKNOB TURNS, KEYS JINGLING.]
That chair? Oh, it used to be over there, but I moved it.
Johnnie, it's so nice.
You've really made it your own.
Thanks.
Ooh! Records! [LAUGHS.]
Okay, want to see something funny? Yeah.
Okay.
[LAUGHING.]
Okay.
Sit down.
Okay, are you ready? [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay! [LAUGHS.]
It's his face, but on your body.
I know! That's the joke! My friend Melissa and I came up with that.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're smart that you get it.
Boy, when this evening started, I was feeling so dump trucks, but now it's like a hundred forklifts! I feel the same way, Johnnie.
Do you feel this couch? [CHUCKLES.]
What? 'Cause it's where you're gonna sleep! [BOTH LAUGH.]
Seriously, it's getting late, and I don't want you walking home, so I insist.
I'll be in the other room, sleeping peacefully And dreaming about you.
Johnnie! Thank you for everything.
Johnnie.
Go to bed already.
You have a big day tomorrow.
Good night.
[CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
Rise and shine! I hope you like pancakes, 'cause I got Oh.
I guess she'll be the one who got away.
Looking for someone? You're still here! 'Course I am.
Now make me some breakfast.
Okay, Johnnie, good luck at your meeting, and remember, I'll be right over there sending you good vibes while you're wowing princess bubblegum.
[ECHOING.]
Sending you good vibes.
Yo.
Why are you so confident, man? Aren't you nervous to meet the princess? Nope.
My g.
F.
Is back at my place, sending me good vibes.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
Johnnie's friend has so many movie channels.
Ha-ha! That movie was so dumb.
Oh, poop! Johnnie's meeting! Wonder how it went.
[LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS.]
Johnnie! [GASPS.]
Oh, Johnnie, you're home! How'd it go?! Oh, don't keep me in suspense, Johnnie! I did it, babe! I landed the sale! Johnnie, that's wonderful! And I couldn't have done it without you.
I know! And here's the best part -- she wants me back at the castle tonight to go over the contracts during a royal dinner.
Oh, my glob! It's gonna be so nice to have dinner inside the castle.
It's been awhile.
Oh.
No.
I-it's a business meeting, not social -- just me and the princess, I'm afraid.
What?! Lsp? So, bubblegum thinks she can horn in on my territory, sip from my soup after I cut all the onions? Yo, think again, tranch.
Who -- who are you talking to? BUBBLEGUM: So, how are you enjoying your time in the candy kingdom? Oh, it's just great.
I met this amazing purple girl at the candy tavern.
BUBBLEGUM: That's wonderful, Johnnie.
Now, tell me Oh, Johnnie.
"Ugly Johnnie.
" Through my tender love, you have metamorphed into beautiful Johnnie butterfly.
[SIGHS.]
Every relationship, I gamble with my heart.
I go all-in because the payoff is true love.
I see you when I close my eyes.
And thinking of you makes my mind feel light.
All my problems fade away, and I can't help smiling.
[CHUCKLES.]
To let someone you love go into the arms of another takes a big person.
I don't know if I can be that big.
[MATCH STRIKES, FLAMES IGNITE.]
[GRUNTS.]
Aah.
Aah.
BUBBLEGUM: [GASPS.]
We're under attack! Can I help? BUBBLEGUM: No, hide yourself beneath the tablecloth.
There's cyanide-laced gum under the table.
Chew it if you hear raiders break down the door.
Okay.
Hi, Johnnie.
[GASPS.]
What are you doing here? I'm going to time-travel you back to when we first met at the tavern, back to when you loved me, so we can have a second chance.
What? [THUNK! WHIR!.]
Aah! [WHIR!.]
[LAUGHS.]
BUBBLEGUM: Manfried, where are the banana guards?! Take a chill pill, princess.
I handled it.
BUBBLEGUM: What did you handle? You know.
Someone drove their car in the door, but no one was driving, and it exploded, so I handled it.
BUBBLEGUM: Mm.
[BLAM!.]
Don't chew it, don't chew it, don't chew it! [GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
[SPHERE WHIRRING.]
I'd love to get you Johnnie? Come on.
Sit up straight.
Let me see them eyes.
[CHUCKLES WEAKLY.]
Uh BUBBLEGUM: He's not here.
[GASPS.]
What? But I sent him back.
BUBBLEGUM: The sphere would've had to log his molecules before you engaged the time-travel function.
Well, then where is he? BUBBLEGUM: I don't know.
[CRYING.]
Then if he's gone, can you send me back to before I met him so I won't have to remember this heartache?! BUBBLEGUM: If that's what you want.
Do it.
Do it! [THUNK!.]
[CLOCK BEEPING.]
[WHIR!.]
[SQUEAK!.]
[THUNK!.]
You witch! Give me them to -- what? What? Where are we? BUBBLEGUM: You asked me to use this.
Don't touch me! You pretty skunk! You don't know heartache, with the whole candy kingdom in love with your bubblegum buns! BUBBLEGUM: [SIGHS.]
[SPHERE CONTINUES WHIRRING.]
[SLOW-TEMPO RAP MUSIC PLAYS.]
Yo! [CROWD CHEERING.]
Check, check, one, two! Hey.
I'm rap bear.
I can rapLike that.
Ha-ha! I'm back.
[RAPPING.]
It's a battle of rhymes I'm gonna do it this time I'm rap bear my raps are mystical Quantum physics! Whoo! [CHEERING INTENSIFIES.]
Yeah, yeah! JAKE: Boo! That was pre-written! It's so obvious.
Take him out, finn! FINN: Off Nope.
FINN: Off the dome.
Here we go.
Uh! [RAPPING.]
I'm-a start it now I'm-a battle now we gonna make a rhyme so I can rap this time I rap for mill-I-ons sesquipedalians [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Yeah, that was tight.
FINN: Whoo! [CRYING.]
FINN: Huh? Rap bear, what's wrong, man? How can I be rap bear if I'm not the best? FINN: No way! You are the best.
Going up against you was a dream come true.
I look up to you, man.
You're like -- you're like my hero, rap bear.
JAKE: Awesome.
[SIGHS.]
Thank you, fan.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
I thought Billy was your hero.
FINN: Yeah, but Billy's dead, so Billy.
[WHIR!.]
Ha-ha! Check out these dummies.
FINN: Ha-ha! Yeah! You're awesome, Billy! Ha-ha! [STOMP! STOMP!.]
You're gonna pay for this, Billy! D'oh! Aah! FINN: Sick.
[CHUCKLES.]
Billy! I love rap music, but only when it's good rap.
Finn! Finn! Finn.
FINN: Huh? Who that? I'm canyon, Billy's ex-girlfriend.
FINN: Say what?! That's so weird.
I was just -- party pat was just like -- JAKE: What's going on here? Who's that? FINN: This is Billy's ex-girlfriend.
JAKE: His special lady? No, his ex-girlfriend.
JAKE: Aw, man, I'm sorry.
Well, I hope you guys get back together.
Whoooooop! FINN: Jake's still in denial about Billy.
Billy and I broke up four years ago, but I held on to this.
FINN: [GASPS.]
Billy's loincloth! After Billy died, I couldn't keep it in my place anymore.
I heard you guys were friends, so when I saw your name on the rap-battle flier, I thought it would be cool to bring it to you.
[GUFFAWS.]
Oh, that's some smelly.
FINN: Thank you, canyon.
I guess I've been in denial, too.
Have you been back to Billy's crack? No.
I can't.
FINN: It's time to go see Billy's crack.
Shouldn't Jake be here? FINN: He needs more time.
This would mess him up too much.
[GASPS.]
Fairies! Ohh, they've infested the place.
Okay, you guys, out! This is Billy's crack.
Billy got aced by the lich.
We had dibs on the crack, so beat it! FINN: I'll dib up your brains if you don't respect the mems of Billy.
Flimsy threats! Like a tiny blade of grass in a maelstrom, you are.
That storm is me, Jordan, lord of the fairies! I ain't afraid of you or this big -- [SHING!.]
You think you can chump me like that? This breeze feels great, doofus! [SHING! THUD!.]
All right.
FINN: Laters.
Um, so, canyon, why did you and Billy break up? Huh? Oh.
Well, I loved Billy, and I believed in him, but then Billy stopped believing, and that jammed up our whole deal -- being a top-tier, red-belt power couple.
After awhile, all he did was watch movies and play video games.
Pretty lame, right? So I bailed.
FINN: Even heroes have slumps, bro.
Yeah, I know.
I heard he was making a comeback, too.
What a weird world.
Hyah! [ENGINE REVVING.]
Billy! What the FINN: What is it? It looks like Billy's bucket list.
FINN: Whoa! Let me see! [GRUNTS.]
Hmm.
Looks like he got to most of these.
He sure lived a full life.
Okay, here's one.
Wait.
"Tell finn that thing.
" What the butt is that? I don't know.
FINN: Okay, that's gonna bother me forever.
Well -- well, here's one more.
We should do it for Billy.
What's that? Are you sure you're okay? FINN: Aaaaaaaahh! [CHOMP!.]
[CHOMP! CHOMP!.]
FINN: Holy shram! Whoo! [WIND BLOWING.]
That was awesome, finn.
You know, you remind me of Billy when he was young.
FINN: Whoa.
So, can I see you sometime? I have a feeling our paths will cross again.
Take care, finn.
FINN: [GRUNTS.]
"Take canyon on one last ride.
" Whoops.
Unh.
What? Another item? You sneaky Billy.
"Lie on my back in the ocean.
" Cool.
[SCREAMS.]
Why the ocean, Billy?! [WAVES CRASHING.]
Okay, finn, don't think about your fear.
Just jump in there like it's no biggie.
Do it for Billy.
For Billy! [SCREAMS.]
[PANTING.]
I'm afraid.
I'm afraid! Oh, dang.
Here he comes! Here comes the fear feaster! [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
Way to go, finn the coward.
Still afraid of the ocean, eh? [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
You should just give up! You're not a hero.
You're a wimp-o! A cringing, cowardly -- [FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.]
Hey, where you going? Fool, I come with.
Ha-ha! I'm gonna nosh on your insecurities.
Then I'll -- I'll squat on your hopes.
So, now what, little boy? Huh? Uh, hey, man, don't do anything stupid.
Hey! You're too chicken to face your fears with open eyes? This stank is cheating! FINN: This stank is for Billy.
[WHACK!.]
No! [SQUISH!.]
[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
FINN: Aah! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
Aaaaaaaaaaahh! [GASPS.]
[PANTING.]
[WHIR!.]
For Billy! Wake up.
Wake up! FINN: [GASPS.]
[LAUGHS EVILLY.]
FINN: [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Huh? Whoa! [SHING!.]
[CHUCKLES.]
No mortal blade can harm -- what?! [GURGLING.]
FINN: Was that you, or me? Huh? Hey.
Hey.
I-I'm doing it! [CHUCKLES.]
I'm not afraid of the ocean anymore! I'm doing it, Billy.
Billy! [TWINKLING.]
You finished my list.
Now I can rest like a great hero.
Thank you, finn.
FINN: You're welcome.
Canyon helped, too.
Tell canyon I watch her sleep.
Man, love is weird, finn.
FINN: I know.
Is that the thing you wanted to tell me? No.
Goodbye.
FINN: Wait.
Billy! What? FINN: What's the thing you wanted to tell me? Oh, uh, you must go to the citadel.
That's where you father is.
FINN: Joshua's not alive.
Me and Jake buried him behind the -- not Joshua! Your other dad -- dad the human.
FINN: What? Your father, finn.
He's alive.
[ECHOING.]
He's alive.
[ECHOING CONTINUES.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
Come along with me and the butterflies and bees we can wander through the forest and do so as we please come along with me to a cliff under a tree