Friends s06e01 Episode Script

Okay, this is it.
You sure you wanna do this? Hello, Mrs.
Ross.
Well, hello, Mr.
Rachel.
-Whoa! -Oh, my God! Come on, Pheebs, hurry! Okay! Okay! Oh, my God! ls everybody getting married? No running in the chapel.
Hey, don't you give me any of your-- Hey! Why are you here? Ross and Rachel left a message.
They're getting married.
-Isn't that why you guys are here? -Yes.
Why else would we be here? What happened? Did we miss it? We missed it.
Maybe you wouldn't have if you could run in the chapel! This is insane.
What's the big deal? It's not like it's a real marriage.
What? If you marry in Vegas, you're only married in Vegas.
If you marry here, you're married everywhere.
Really? Yeah.
Oh, my God! Oh, well.
The One After Vegas Gelula/SDI Why are we in bed together? I don't know.
Do you have any clothes on? Yes.
-Really? -No.
But we didn't have.
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sex, did we? I don't remember much about last night.
It was such a blur.
I remember laughing.
I laughed a lot.
Then we didn't have sex.
Oh, I mean, we were really drunk.
I'm glad we didn't do anything stupid.
Tell me about it.
Morning, Pheebs.
Well, my movie has been officially canceled.
Joey, I'm so sorry.
You want my breakfast? Too depressed to eat.
I'll probably eat in, like, five minutes.
I'll fly home with you.
What time is your flight? -What about my cab? -I don't need that anymore.
You borrowed my cab.
You have to drive it back.
I don't wanna drive back by myself.
I get lonely.
How about if you come with me? -It's a long trip.
-That would be great.
We could talk and play games.
This could be our chance to, like, renew our friendship.
Are you asking me to have a "frienaissance"? Sure? All right, although I don't think we need one.
I never stopped loving you.
So has anybody talked to Dr.
and Mrs.
Geller yet? They left me a message.
They'll be here.
Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
It's a buffet, man.
Here's where I win all my money back! I gotta talk to you.
Sure.
What's up? Monica and I almost got married.
My God! That's huge! Wait a minute.
Why wasn't I invited? And who was gonna be your best man? Don't say Ross.
Do not say Ross.
I just don't think that Monica and I are ready yet.
I love her.
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but seeing Ross and Rachel come out of that chapel.
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was like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast, you know.
How do I tell her without crushing her? Tell her she's not marriage material.
What? Girls say it to me all the time.
And if she's anything like me, she's just gonna be relieved.
How do I tell him that it's too soon? He's gonna think I don't love him anymore.
-Well, you don't.
-Yes, I do.
Good.
I was just testing you.
-Hey.
-Oh, hi.
We were just talking about bacon.
No, we were talking about tennis.
Tennis is more believable.
Thank you.
Coffee.
What? Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? What do you mean "Iast night"? Nothing happened last night.
Ross invited us all to watch.
We weren't gonna miss our friends marrying.
Who got married? You did.
What? -Hello.
We didn't get married.
-No, we didn't.
That's ridi-- Wait, wait, wait.
I remember being in a chapel.
They would not let us get married when we were that drunk.
They let you get married.
Most people who marry in Vegas are drunk.
Now, I'm drunk right now.
I can't have a mimosa with breakfast? I'm on vacation.
What are you gonna do? Well, I guess we find a divorce lawyer.
Well, I think, I think Ross already has one.
Now, this one's free, right? Because you paid for the first two.
Laugh it up, but the joke's on you.
.
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.
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because we don't need to get divorced.
-We're just gonna get an annulment.
-An annulment? Ross, I don't think surgery is the answer here.
Oh, that's your thing! What? Your thing, that you're the guy who gets divorced.
No, no, that's not "my thing.
" I do not love getting divorced.
Yes, you do.
This is your third divorce.
You love divorce so much, you're probably gonna marry it.
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and then it won't work out, so you're gonna have to divorce it.
I'm so drunk.
-So what should we do? -I don't know.
I know I love you.
I know I love you.
Where are we on the whole "going back.
.
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to where they have the marriages" thing? I love you.
That's a good question.
Last night we let the dice decide.
We should leave it up to fate again.
I love you! We don't get married unless there's a sign.
So say.
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You roll another eight, then there's a sign.
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that we should marry.
Eight we get married.
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but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 1 0, Sounds great.
Hey, we got a shooter.
Money, please.
-Ready? -Ready.
Come on, eight.
Yes, yes, eight.
Eight, easy eight.
-I can't believe I rolled an eight.
-That was so unlikely.
Let's get married.
I guess.
Last night I rolled a hard eight.
It was the wrong kind of eight.
No wedding! Damn it! I wanted it so bad! Wanna go pack? We're doing the right thing.
Of course we are.
We left it up to fate.
If we were supposed to get married, there would be a sign.
Okay, you have 1 9 questions left.
Use them wisely.
Come on, Joey.
You can't win if you don't ask any questions! What? You promised me a fun road trip.
We've been on the road for 6 hours, and you've been asleep for 5 1 /2.
We are switching, and you are going to drive back.
That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper! All right.
And until then, you are going to sing to me.
Because the radio's broken, and you are selfish, but you have a nice voice.
-Really? -Sing! I wanna rock 'n ' roll all night Man, this is a long drive.
Are my eyes open? No! Morning.
Hey.
Hey, hubby.
Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing.
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Okay.
So we'll just stay married.
Yes, exactly.
And I will make everyone call me Mrs.
Geller.
Wow, this is so amazing.
I really thought I'd have to talk you into this more.
Now I'm scared because I don't actually think you're kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Look.
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.
.
.
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I can't have three failed marriages.
I can't, okay? I am not gonna be that guy.
So what, we just stay married forever? How is this going to affect you, really? I mean, you fill some form out once in a while.
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instead of checking the box "Miss," you check the box that says, "Mrs.
" It's right next to it.
Okay.
I'm sorry, you're right.
You know what? We can stay married.
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because I thought that the boxes were far away from each other.
All right.
Look, just.
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please take a moment here.
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and think about what you're asking of me.
Okay? I am asking you to do me a favor.
You are asking me to be your wife.
And, as my wife, I think you should grant me this favor.
That kid kicked me really hard.
Well, you did pull his hair.
-He took my snack.
-I'm not getting into this again.
All right, you know what? Hurts really bad.
Well, I told you not to walk.
Here.
There.
There.
Okay.
-This doesn't mean anything, does it? -No.
How could you pick up a hitchhiker? He could be a rape-- He could be a rapist or a killer or something.
Don't you think I asked him that before he got in? I'm not talking to you.
You go back to sleep.
And, you, are you a rapist? No.
Do you like car games? Yeah, you know the license plate game? I love the license plate game! I'll play.
I'll play.
No, you need your sleep.
Night-night.
Listen.
I know you wanted to talk to me.
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but I have an idea that may make you wanna stay married.
We register.
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and you get to keep all the presents.
No, Ross, come on.
No, listen.
I've thought about how to tell you this.
The bottom line, Ross.
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is, we cannot stay married.
-I don't know if that's true-- -Oh, but it is.
Okay.
You know what this is? This is a difference of opinion.
-When that happens in a marriage-- -Ross, come on! This is not a marriage! This is the world's worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will.
All right.
All right, I'll do it.
Thank you.
Hey, hey.
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is there any such thing as an annulment shower? There's the train station, where I get off.
I have your address and phone number.
I have your name and the fact that you're a drifter.
So ball's pretty much in your court.
All right.
See you, Pheebs.
Come on, Pheebs, I can't take this anymore.
Please talk to me.
Let me make it up to you.
Ground control to Major Tom Commencing countdown Engines on Take your protein pills And put your helmet on -This is-- -Stop it! Stop it! No! That's not fair.
You know I can't resist that beautiful voice.
Pheebs, look, I am so sorry.
I promised you a fun road trip with your friend.
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and I didn't deliver, okay? Now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship.
So I will strive to stay awake for as long as I know you.
You can still sleep at night and stuff.
Thank you.
So can we play 20 Questions now? I got a good one.
I thought about it since Kansas.
Okay.
Is it.
.
.
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a kind of hot sandwich? Yes.
Is it a meatball sub? That is incredible! You are the master! Bug! -You look like you're-- -Don't say it! Don't even think it.
All right.
Chandler, enjoy your handful.
Should we just get married? All the signs are telling us to do it.
I'm sick of the signs.
-I'm happy the way things are.
-Me too.
-I don't want change, do you? -No.
Then nothing changes! Everything stays the same! Go unpack.
It's been three days, and it drives me insane! Jeez, relax, it's not like we're mar-- You know, I was thinking what if l.
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unpack here? All your stuff would be here.
Well.
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What if all my stuff was here? Then you'd be going back and forth all the time.
Doesn't make any sense.
Okay.
What if we live together, and you get what I'm saying? Live together? There've been no signs for that.
Me asking is kind of a sign.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Okay.
Okay, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Here's your key.
Here's your key.
Now go out and christen it! Go out and come back in! Door hasn't been locked in five years, but okay.
-Ready? -Ready! The key broke in the lock, and I can't get in.
Wait.
Oh, my God, I can't get out! -This isn't a sign! -No, it's a very old key! -It's an old key! -Oh, my God, it's old! I love you.
I love you.
Are you hugging the door right now? No.
Yeah, yeah, me neither.
So did everything go all right with the annulment? Oh, yeah.
No problems.
It's all taken care of.
Ross, thank you.
Do you wanna go see a movie? -Yeah, why not? -Pheebs? Thanks, I've already seen one.
Okay, I'm gonna get my sweater.
You wanna hear something weird? Always.
I didn't get the annulment.
What? We're still married.
Don't tell Rachel.
See you later.
What are you doing? Key is stuck in the lock.
I can fix it.
Hold on.
Watch out, watch out.
It still doesn't work.
I'm not finished.
Nice job, Joe.
You're quite the craftsman!