Portlandia (2011) s06e01 Episode Script
Pickathon
Are you going to Pickathon? Definitely.
Me and Anne might do the whole weekend.
That's a music festival, right? It's like, uh, camping and everything.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
But there are hotels nearby, so Yeah, I haven't missed a year since it started.
Are you and Michelle gonna go? - You guys should go.
- Oh I mean, you know who's headlining, right? together: Flaming Lips! That's great.
Okay, that's exciting.
I mean, we'd have to get there early.
Yeah, to see some of the bands.
And then kind of late to see some of the other ones.
It's like a full day.
It's supposed to be Mm-hmm.
And 100% sand in your mouth.
- Look at the cheapest price.
- So expensive.
Yeah, but I don't want to miss out, you know what I'm saying, like-- I know, and everyone's gonna be talking about it, and we're gonna have to watch everyone's Instagram photos and Twitter That's all porta-potties right there.
The smell situation, the small talk situation.
How many festivals are we gonna go to? - This is never gonna end.
- That sounds terrible.
It's uncivilized.
- Let's not go, I-- I just-- - Let's just skip it.
- I can't this year.
- Let's just forget it.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
What's that ad? If you're over 40, and you often go to huge music festivals, you may have found that they're actually not that fun.
- That's us.
- Yeah.
Standing all day, the heat, the crowds What if I told you you could be at a concert and sit down.
To solve this problem, we're introducing the first phase in virtual participation using drones.
Wow, new technology.
You Had To Be There-- The Absentee Concertgoer Experience.
We wanted to create something beautiful, functional, and durable.
And something that lives comfortably in your living room, and we did it.
It was hard, but we're pretty good.
And here's the kicker-- when the show is over, you get a certificate signed by the festival organizer saying that you attended the show.
Let us bring the concert to you.
I mean, it does seem like a better solution than actually going.
[horn beeps.]
- Hey! - Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you? - Excited? - Yes.
- Good to see you.
- Oh, hi.
I'm so excited for this festival.
Me too.
My boss is being such an asshole.
Okay, well, this is our ladycation.
- Yeah.
both: - Boy crazy.
[laughing.]
Well, I like the theme.
I got the email.
I got the reference pictures, feathers Yeah, it's gonna be a whole feather thing, I mean, - Okay.
- Not too over-the-top, but let me just try this little head piece.
Oh, yeah.
This is great.
Mm-kay.
Boy crazy, I can do that.
- Boy crazy.
- Okay.
Well, last year we did horseback riding.
- But this year music fest, so - Yeah.
- Ladycation! - Ladycation! And boy crazy.
Yeah.
It's about the music first.
Okay.
Sort of like last year it was about the horses first.
Yeah, I mean, last year you got crazy with the horses.
I was horse crazy.
- But this year both: - Boy crazy.
- Boy crazy.
- Boy crazy! When should we change into the outfits? I don't know; maybe let's go to a rest stop, get some snacks, and change.
Okay.
- Boy crazy! - I can do it.
Okay, ladycation starts now.
I hope you waxed.
What? [Washed Out's "Feel It All Around" playing.]
- [applause.]
- Thank you, Pickathon! So he tries to get in with a blue laminate, I'm like, "You're not allowed back here.
" Excuse me, hi, we're here to check in.
How many people are with you, and what band are you in? - Uh, we have seven of us.
- Okay.
And we're More Flaming Lips.
Flaming Lips, yeah.
The Flaming Lips, that'd be us.
I'm sorry, who are you? We're The Flaming Lips.
He's Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips, but we are More Flaming Lips.
- Okay, I'm-- - Is this one band or two bands? - Well, it used to be one.
- What's the name of your band? - More Flaming Lips.
- What's the name of your band? The Flaming Lips, featuring Wayne Coyne, and-- and I'm-- I'm Wayne Coyne, so I mean, like, that's Hey, David, I think we have a double booking.
I just think in terms of laminates and wristbands, The Flaming Lips, not Flaming Lips.
- We win.
- And-- and who's your band? Who are these people? This is The Flaming Lips right here.
They graduated from the Berklee School of Music, you know what that is? - Learning my chords.
- Yeah, I don't need a history-- We-- we don't need a history, because we just want to get the laminates to you guys.
And who is this guy? Sean Davino is our new singer.
Hey, wait-- Hold on.
do you realize? [whip cracks.]
[applause.]
- It's very passionate.
- Excellent.
Will you guys sort this out, please? Because this is too confusing for us.
Yeah.
- We're journalists.
- We don't care-- Hi, I'm John Levinson.
I represent The Flaming Lips.
Both versions of The Flaming Lips, I-- Hey, David, yeah, their lawyer's here.
Someone bungled this thing.
Helen bungled it.
She's been let go.
We're going to work this out internally.
- Great.
- Maybe in the shade.
It's hot out here.
I've had a bad nap.
Okay, we'll give you the laminates.
Yeah.
And here's your personal helmet.
- Wow.
- Ha! It's a lot lighter than I though it would be.
Yeah.
Oh, and, uh, these will be you.
- Whoo! - It's gonna be insane! How close can we get to the band? Can we just go right up to the front? Hover above the front row, yeah.
- Why not? - I already feel relaxed, just-- - No crowds.
- No lines.
If anything happens to these, your address is printed right on the drone.
If anyone finds it, they'll bring it right back here and give it back to you.
Huh.
- Here's your beers.
- Look at this! Wow, we're really at a festival.
Oh, sure.
Oh! before I forget You're gonna love it, you're gonna go, "Ooh, that little detail.
" Ah.
Now our house smells like a porta-potty.
- Right? - Oh yeah.
You like that? Here's your laminates.
Oh, man, I wish I was going.
Oh, you're not going? Yeah, I'm going.
I'm going.
Um, but I just learned that the customers really like to hear that.
But are you going going? Or not going, but going? The whole drone thing, uh, makes me nauseous.
Should I take a Dramamine? If you get nauseous while you're wearing this, throw up! That's part of the experience.
What are the FAA regulations with this? - I mean-- - Shh, no.
No, don't worry about that.
About what? I-- - About the FAA.
- Why's that? 'Cause it's very easy to down a plane with one of these.
- Don't worry! - All right.
- [cuckoo clock chimes.]
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
All right.
We're gonna go to the concert, right? - Right, see you there.
- All right.
- To the festival! - Let's see some music! Whoo! - Whoa.
- Are you okay? - What? - Are you okay? Are you ready? - Yes.
- Yes.
Well, have a great time! Fly! Well, you continue to look amazing.
Thanks, babybird.
Did you clock that construction worker? I did not clock that construction worker, and I'm not wasting this outfit on that guy.
Yeah, but seriously, guys who work with their hands can be pretty great, you know what I mean? Yeah, but still.
I didn't not tan for that-- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're seeing that? Top bun? [ethereal whisper.]
Top bun.
[moans.]
How could I miss it? - It's substantial.
- It's confident.
- It's beautiful.
- He's hot.
- Is he looking at us? - I wish I could tell, I just did not bring my glasses.
That was a big mistake.
I think we should bite our lips.
- Okay.
- [rubbery creak.]
Wait.
How are you doing it? The right way.
[rubbery creak.]
Okay, you're using way too much teeth.
- Is it like this? - [rubbery creak.]
Yeah, I'd go with the second one, for sure.
Oh, God.
[sighs.]
I feel boy crazy.
Oh, my God, me too.
But I'm really feeling it.
Do you think I'm boy crazy? Yeah.
Do you think I'm boy crazy? I do.
I am.
I am.
- I am boy crazy.
- No, you are boy crazy.
Do you think he's going to the festival? We got to find out.
This is the guy.
[moans.]
[lion roar.]
Peanuts? - They're leaving.
- Where are they going? - We have to follow them.
- Okay.
- Ahh! - Ah-ha-ha-ha! - Whoa.
- This is inceredible.
My body feels like it's floating! So, we don't need to follow the highways.
Let's just go right there.
Okay.
Go left.
Up.
Up, up, up, up.
- Do your shoulders hurt? - It's making me a little dizzy.
I'm just gonna be honest.
- Oh, my God, look at this line.
- Oh, boy.
All right, well, I guess we'll just get in the back of the-- Oh, no no, we don't have to! We can go over! Right.
Ha-ha! It's called the future and modernism.
Hi, sorry.
We're wearing a Flaming Lips shirt.
I've got mine too.
Mine's black.
Number one fan since the early days.
Hey, look at that! There's a band.
They are just jammed in there.
These people are already waiting at the front of the stage.
They're gonna have to keep that spot all day - in order to see the band.
- [laughs.]
Yeah! We love you! Get lost! - Oh no, what's going on? - Ah, someone here got mad.
Get out of here! - Come on, let's go this way.
- Okay.
So it seems like our best bet is that one band plays and then the other band plays.
We can all agree on that? First of all, it's important to remember we're all sitting on haystacks; everyone is happy.
They're willing to have you go first.
If you go first, do you think you can pretend to be excited that Wayne is coming on second? Great news, they said they'll go first if you'll continually thank them during your set, and you got to trumpet them, will you trumpet them? [bells jingle.]
They say you can perform "Do You Realize" to your heart's content.
You can't sing the chorus.
I think he's afraid of you, Sean.
I think he knows you're good.
There's a positive in there.
- Wayne thinks you're good.
- No.
If you do anything from the second album, - no full songs, only medleys.
- No.
They said no-- uh-- want me to go back on that? What if we kissed a third band into the deal? That's a no.
He's asking that you guys open with "Louie Louie.
" No.
Someone's got to get up there to sing.
Pass.
I feel like I'm negotiating with myself, guys.
Are we going to try to save this deal? [sighs.]
Oh, Sean.
Where is Top Bun? Okay, Laura, I don't see him, actually.
We'll find him! How could you lose him? - We didn't lose him.
- Look, do you want to go back - to the gas station and-- - Wait.
- What? - Look at that couple.
- Where? - Over there.
Aw, that's so sweet.
Look at that.
She doesn't seem to mind his weird little pink arms.
Yeah, that's the best vantage point, it's like, being up on someone's shoulders, you can see everything, but you're with the person you love.
So close to them.
[sighs.]
I got to ride on Top Bun's shoulders.
[moans.]
Oh, my God, that would be so cool.
Remember that French guy I dated? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, with the croissants.
Wait.
There's Top Bun! - Oh, my gosh, he has a conga.
- [gasps.]
It's so dumb that it's cool.
It's sexy.
Yeah, it's like he doesn't even care about anything.
It's making me boy crazy.
We can't afford to lose him again.
Okay, I am behind you every step of the way.
And I will be behind him every step of his way.
- Go.
Go, go, go, go! - Go! We're gonna go? - Load schedule.
- [beeping.]
Coachella from last year, no.
Load current schedule.
Oh, wait.
Okay.
What about Peaches? She's on in, like, 15.
Let's go see Refused first, then come back for Peaches.
- Okay, okay.
- Isn't it this way? - Um, that's the wrong way.
- I'm gonna go up above everyone just for one second, and then I'll see.
- Okay.
- Wha-aah! Nice, easy.
Okay, so, it's just this way.
- Uh, we're gonna miss Peaches.
- Okay, okay.
- Step on it.
- All right, let's go.
Faster.
I'm gonna destroy that bun.
Oh, yeah, I want that bun.
Hot Bun.
How boy crazy am I right now? You seem really boy crazy.
I want to be on the bottom of that top bun.
- What's up, brother? - [hands slap.]
This is our time to make our move.
[sighs.]
All right, what do we want to do? I mean, I guess we just What's the game plan? Is it me or you? It's us! Look, we said we were gonna have a killer weekend.
Are we gonna do this, or what? - Yeah! - Yes, this is good.
All right, we got some speed here.
These things go fast.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay, but if it comes down to it, you're fine to watch us.
- Fine.
Yes.
- Okay, good.
- Ah! - Oh, no.
Ohh - He lost it.
- Oh, he needs it back.
Yeah.
We got to give it back to him.
Ugh.
- Smell it, quick.
- I can't.
The Flaming Lips! - We got to find him.
- Oh, no! - We have to get him? - Oh no, where is he? - He's here.
- Recognize him? [indistinct yelling.]
You're not Top Bun! I think I hit somebody.
Shit.
Don't forget your meal tickets.
I think I made it worse.
The Flaming Lips won't be appearing.
Why won't they go on stage? We can't relitigate the conversations I just had.
It blew up, they're angry at each other, it was partially my fault.
When we sold passes to this festival, we sold them with the idea that The Flaming Lips would be headlining the second night.
Do you guys have any suggestions? Do you have a contract? No, I know there's a contract, The Flaming Lips have never violated a contract, I wrote the contract.
We need to hear those songs, otherwise, not only are we not gonna pay you, we're gonna sue you.
- [gulps.]
- We have two Flaming Lip bands.
- And then now we've got zero? - Yes.
How do we go from two to zero? And soon there's gonna be three, because Sean is dynamite.
Get your band on stage.
It's not working.
All right, so you're telling me to my face that there's gonna be no Flaming Lips on stage? Just tell me right now.
Say that.
Hey, David, I want you to listen in-- D-- No no, David doesn't need to come down.
Dave, you want to come down here? No, I'm trying to work this out, okay? The Flaming Lips are supposed to perform live.
David, he's saying-- [repeating John quietly.]
both: All the guys had a big fight.
both: What would make David happy? What would make David happy is what would make the crowd happy.
We want some Flaming Lips up there.
For The Flaming Lips to appear, it would have to be credibly, someone who is associated with The Flaming Lips.
We want to hear that music.
I don't care who sings it.
Okay, The Flaming Lips are getting on stage.
- Great.
- Great.
The Flaming Lips will be appearing tonight.
Well, that's what I need to hear.
Cool.
That's all we need to know.
Come on.
All right, so main stage is there, I think Flaming Lips are playing soon.
Brendan, there's a campsite over this way, - let's just cut through.
- Okay, main stage bound? Let's go.
Oh, man, I love choppin' wood.
This is gonna be so much fun, I can't wait to see The Flaming Lips, yeah! So they spend the whole weekend here? Yeah.
I hate camping, especially at a festival.
What the hell is that? Wow, this is cool.
[loud smack, thud.]
- Whoa! - Hey.
See me knock that drone down? [scoffs.]
Out of the sky.
- Sir, excuse me? - Holy crap, this thing speaks? What's your problem, man? What, do you got a problem? You're just, like, some sort of problem guy? Huh, you a tough guy? - Yeah, I'm a tough guy.
- Yeah.
What are you, some sort of nerd sitting at home with your drone? - What's up, you want to fight? - Brendan, I-- I don't know.
- You're just a little drone.
- You think I'm not scared - of you, man? - I'm gonna seriously kick your ass.
- What's up, man? - Bring it! - You want a little piece? - Yeah, I want it.
I don't want a piece.
I want the whole damn thing! - I'll get you, man.
- Come on! - [screaming.]
- Yeah! - Come on.
- Take that.
Uh.
[screaming.]
I can help you.
I just need to power this up.
- Ugh! - [screaming.]
Power on.
Ah, nice floatercycle, buddy Yah! Hi-yah! Ha! [motorcycle thudding.]
- Yes! - [laughing.]
You guys see that thing? It cut my face all up! So mad.
Gonna kill that-- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! [rattling.]
Ugh! There's an address! [screams.]
What happened? I don't have any signal anymore.
Damn! - Uh - Let me connect you to me.
We'll just go on one.
Okay.
Hold on.
Ow.
- [beeping.]
- Ha! - Can you see? - Yeah.
Let's get out of here.
[tough guy screaming.]
Oh, my God! Make sure the Lips don't start without me, you guys.
[engine revving.]
There, there, there, I see him.
- Which one? - I see him.
- Oh, stripes.
- In the stripes.
- Excuse me.
Hi.
- Oh, no there! - Ah - This guy, this guy! No.
Oh, my God, look, there are those biceps.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's me! Oh, Laura.
- Look at us! - You like this spot? Yeah, just like Ron said, we have front row seats.
The band you've been waiting for The Flaming Lips! - Whoo! - [crowd cheering.]
- Wait a minute? - Who's that? Hello, I am the lawyer for The Flaming Lips.
I'm the only one who is legally allowed to sing this song, I apologize.
Hit it.
[The Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize".]
do you realize Here comes Billy! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This is so depressing.
I'm, like, totally boy crazy.
There's no boys.
[scoffs.]
What's the point? Plus, I'm, like, melting.
No, you're molting.
- Either way.
- Well, let's just go home.
You sure? You really want to go home and miss it? They sound good realize But let's just go.
- Babybird? - Yeah? Babybird, babybird.
Oh, my gosh, it's Top Bun man.
[sighs.]
- Let's go.
- [bird squawks.]
beautiful face I don't know what this is.
How do I turn my volume down on this thing? Yee.
Eesh.
This is awful.
[knocking.]
What is that? [knocking continues.]
Hold on.
Hello? [screams.]
Michelle! Michelle, call the police! Come here.
Do you see my face? It cut my face.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry! - You're coming with me.
Michelle! Take your helmet off! you have the most I'm sorry! You're coming with me to the toilet, come on.
I'm sorry! Aah! face do you realize? This is bullshit.
This is bullshit.
You know he's charging us for this.
Hey, he's not charging us.
You're paying for this.
What is this? What is this all about? - That Billboard party.
- Well-- - Remember that? - I-- I think so.
- I thought it was cool, what? - Okay You didn't introduce me to Sean Penn.
You guys were standing there in the hallway talking, laughing I mean, you know how much I love "Colors," and, "At Close Range," and I mean, we saw "Dead Man Walking" opening night.
"Milk," and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," I do.
I mean, I love him as much as you.
Sean Penn is in my top three favorite living actors.
- Oh, he is great.
- Oh, yeah.
"Razor's Edge"? Oh, yeah.
I'm walking up to him, he's blowing me off.
What is this? What are we gonna do? What-- this is-- I can't believe he's doing that.
[stammers.]
Why don't we be the ones playing for Want to get back up there? - Together? - Why don't we? - All right.
Cool.
- Here we go.
[bird squawk.]
Hi.
So you having fun? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Lose something? - My bun! [giggles.]
Yeah.
Please.
Uh We both found it, by the way.
We did.
We both found it.
Mostly I carried it.
Thank you.
Anything else you need help with? - Jesus.
- What? I'm here to see The Flaming Lips.
- We are too.
- Yeah? Oh, yeah, we see 'em all the time.
you realize the Sun doesn't come down [cheers and applause.]
Oh, thank God.
Thank you, everybody.
[upbeat rock music.]
Brendan, hurry back, it's the Lips.
I'd like to thank you for finding my bun, and offer you a ride on my shoulders to watch The Flaming Lips.
do you realize [choking.]
I can't believe you cut me in the face with a drone! Brendan, The Flaming Lips are on.
Should we go check it out? - Yeah, I guess so.
- Yeah yeah yeah.
- Man, I'm sorry.
- Yeah, yeah, it's all right.
No way! - You ready? - Oh, it's scary! - How do you feel? - Safe.
happiness makes you cry do you realize? oh-whoa-oh [sniffling.]
that everyone you know someday will die You're blocking my view.
[bird squawking.]
and instead of saying all of your good-byes Your hands feel bigger, stronger.
you realize that life goes fast it's hard to make the good things last you realize the sun doesn't go down it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round do you realize?
Me and Anne might do the whole weekend.
That's a music festival, right? It's like, uh, camping and everything.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
But there are hotels nearby, so Yeah, I haven't missed a year since it started.
Are you and Michelle gonna go? - You guys should go.
- Oh I mean, you know who's headlining, right? together: Flaming Lips! That's great.
Okay, that's exciting.
I mean, we'd have to get there early.
Yeah, to see some of the bands.
And then kind of late to see some of the other ones.
It's like a full day.
It's supposed to be Mm-hmm.
And 100% sand in your mouth.
- Look at the cheapest price.
- So expensive.
Yeah, but I don't want to miss out, you know what I'm saying, like-- I know, and everyone's gonna be talking about it, and we're gonna have to watch everyone's Instagram photos and Twitter That's all porta-potties right there.
The smell situation, the small talk situation.
How many festivals are we gonna go to? - This is never gonna end.
- That sounds terrible.
It's uncivilized.
- Let's not go, I-- I just-- - Let's just skip it.
- I can't this year.
- Let's just forget it.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
What's that ad? If you're over 40, and you often go to huge music festivals, you may have found that they're actually not that fun.
- That's us.
- Yeah.
Standing all day, the heat, the crowds What if I told you you could be at a concert and sit down.
To solve this problem, we're introducing the first phase in virtual participation using drones.
Wow, new technology.
You Had To Be There-- The Absentee Concertgoer Experience.
We wanted to create something beautiful, functional, and durable.
And something that lives comfortably in your living room, and we did it.
It was hard, but we're pretty good.
And here's the kicker-- when the show is over, you get a certificate signed by the festival organizer saying that you attended the show.
Let us bring the concert to you.
I mean, it does seem like a better solution than actually going.
[horn beeps.]
- Hey! - Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you? - Excited? - Yes.
- Good to see you.
- Oh, hi.
I'm so excited for this festival.
Me too.
My boss is being such an asshole.
Okay, well, this is our ladycation.
- Yeah.
both: - Boy crazy.
[laughing.]
Well, I like the theme.
I got the email.
I got the reference pictures, feathers Yeah, it's gonna be a whole feather thing, I mean, - Okay.
- Not too over-the-top, but let me just try this little head piece.
Oh, yeah.
This is great.
Mm-kay.
Boy crazy, I can do that.
- Boy crazy.
- Okay.
Well, last year we did horseback riding.
- But this year music fest, so - Yeah.
- Ladycation! - Ladycation! And boy crazy.
Yeah.
It's about the music first.
Okay.
Sort of like last year it was about the horses first.
Yeah, I mean, last year you got crazy with the horses.
I was horse crazy.
- But this year both: - Boy crazy.
- Boy crazy.
- Boy crazy! When should we change into the outfits? I don't know; maybe let's go to a rest stop, get some snacks, and change.
Okay.
- Boy crazy! - I can do it.
Okay, ladycation starts now.
I hope you waxed.
What? [Washed Out's "Feel It All Around" playing.]
- [applause.]
- Thank you, Pickathon! So he tries to get in with a blue laminate, I'm like, "You're not allowed back here.
" Excuse me, hi, we're here to check in.
How many people are with you, and what band are you in? - Uh, we have seven of us.
- Okay.
And we're More Flaming Lips.
Flaming Lips, yeah.
The Flaming Lips, that'd be us.
I'm sorry, who are you? We're The Flaming Lips.
He's Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips, but we are More Flaming Lips.
- Okay, I'm-- - Is this one band or two bands? - Well, it used to be one.
- What's the name of your band? - More Flaming Lips.
- What's the name of your band? The Flaming Lips, featuring Wayne Coyne, and-- and I'm-- I'm Wayne Coyne, so I mean, like, that's Hey, David, I think we have a double booking.
I just think in terms of laminates and wristbands, The Flaming Lips, not Flaming Lips.
- We win.
- And-- and who's your band? Who are these people? This is The Flaming Lips right here.
They graduated from the Berklee School of Music, you know what that is? - Learning my chords.
- Yeah, I don't need a history-- We-- we don't need a history, because we just want to get the laminates to you guys.
And who is this guy? Sean Davino is our new singer.
Hey, wait-- Hold on.
do you realize? [whip cracks.]
[applause.]
- It's very passionate.
- Excellent.
Will you guys sort this out, please? Because this is too confusing for us.
Yeah.
- We're journalists.
- We don't care-- Hi, I'm John Levinson.
I represent The Flaming Lips.
Both versions of The Flaming Lips, I-- Hey, David, yeah, their lawyer's here.
Someone bungled this thing.
Helen bungled it.
She's been let go.
We're going to work this out internally.
- Great.
- Maybe in the shade.
It's hot out here.
I've had a bad nap.
Okay, we'll give you the laminates.
Yeah.
And here's your personal helmet.
- Wow.
- Ha! It's a lot lighter than I though it would be.
Yeah.
Oh, and, uh, these will be you.
- Whoo! - It's gonna be insane! How close can we get to the band? Can we just go right up to the front? Hover above the front row, yeah.
- Why not? - I already feel relaxed, just-- - No crowds.
- No lines.
If anything happens to these, your address is printed right on the drone.
If anyone finds it, they'll bring it right back here and give it back to you.
Huh.
- Here's your beers.
- Look at this! Wow, we're really at a festival.
Oh, sure.
Oh! before I forget You're gonna love it, you're gonna go, "Ooh, that little detail.
" Ah.
Now our house smells like a porta-potty.
- Right? - Oh yeah.
You like that? Here's your laminates.
Oh, man, I wish I was going.
Oh, you're not going? Yeah, I'm going.
I'm going.
Um, but I just learned that the customers really like to hear that.
But are you going going? Or not going, but going? The whole drone thing, uh, makes me nauseous.
Should I take a Dramamine? If you get nauseous while you're wearing this, throw up! That's part of the experience.
What are the FAA regulations with this? - I mean-- - Shh, no.
No, don't worry about that.
About what? I-- - About the FAA.
- Why's that? 'Cause it's very easy to down a plane with one of these.
- Don't worry! - All right.
- [cuckoo clock chimes.]
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
All right.
We're gonna go to the concert, right? - Right, see you there.
- All right.
- To the festival! - Let's see some music! Whoo! - Whoa.
- Are you okay? - What? - Are you okay? Are you ready? - Yes.
- Yes.
Well, have a great time! Fly! Well, you continue to look amazing.
Thanks, babybird.
Did you clock that construction worker? I did not clock that construction worker, and I'm not wasting this outfit on that guy.
Yeah, but seriously, guys who work with their hands can be pretty great, you know what I mean? Yeah, but still.
I didn't not tan for that-- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're seeing that? Top bun? [ethereal whisper.]
Top bun.
[moans.]
How could I miss it? - It's substantial.
- It's confident.
- It's beautiful.
- He's hot.
- Is he looking at us? - I wish I could tell, I just did not bring my glasses.
That was a big mistake.
I think we should bite our lips.
- Okay.
- [rubbery creak.]
Wait.
How are you doing it? The right way.
[rubbery creak.]
Okay, you're using way too much teeth.
- Is it like this? - [rubbery creak.]
Yeah, I'd go with the second one, for sure.
Oh, God.
[sighs.]
I feel boy crazy.
Oh, my God, me too.
But I'm really feeling it.
Do you think I'm boy crazy? Yeah.
Do you think I'm boy crazy? I do.
I am.
I am.
- I am boy crazy.
- No, you are boy crazy.
Do you think he's going to the festival? We got to find out.
This is the guy.
[moans.]
[lion roar.]
Peanuts? - They're leaving.
- Where are they going? - We have to follow them.
- Okay.
- Ahh! - Ah-ha-ha-ha! - Whoa.
- This is inceredible.
My body feels like it's floating! So, we don't need to follow the highways.
Let's just go right there.
Okay.
Go left.
Up.
Up, up, up, up.
- Do your shoulders hurt? - It's making me a little dizzy.
I'm just gonna be honest.
- Oh, my God, look at this line.
- Oh, boy.
All right, well, I guess we'll just get in the back of the-- Oh, no no, we don't have to! We can go over! Right.
Ha-ha! It's called the future and modernism.
Hi, sorry.
We're wearing a Flaming Lips shirt.
I've got mine too.
Mine's black.
Number one fan since the early days.
Hey, look at that! There's a band.
They are just jammed in there.
These people are already waiting at the front of the stage.
They're gonna have to keep that spot all day - in order to see the band.
- [laughs.]
Yeah! We love you! Get lost! - Oh no, what's going on? - Ah, someone here got mad.
Get out of here! - Come on, let's go this way.
- Okay.
So it seems like our best bet is that one band plays and then the other band plays.
We can all agree on that? First of all, it's important to remember we're all sitting on haystacks; everyone is happy.
They're willing to have you go first.
If you go first, do you think you can pretend to be excited that Wayne is coming on second? Great news, they said they'll go first if you'll continually thank them during your set, and you got to trumpet them, will you trumpet them? [bells jingle.]
They say you can perform "Do You Realize" to your heart's content.
You can't sing the chorus.
I think he's afraid of you, Sean.
I think he knows you're good.
There's a positive in there.
- Wayne thinks you're good.
- No.
If you do anything from the second album, - no full songs, only medleys.
- No.
They said no-- uh-- want me to go back on that? What if we kissed a third band into the deal? That's a no.
He's asking that you guys open with "Louie Louie.
" No.
Someone's got to get up there to sing.
Pass.
I feel like I'm negotiating with myself, guys.
Are we going to try to save this deal? [sighs.]
Oh, Sean.
Where is Top Bun? Okay, Laura, I don't see him, actually.
We'll find him! How could you lose him? - We didn't lose him.
- Look, do you want to go back - to the gas station and-- - Wait.
- What? - Look at that couple.
- Where? - Over there.
Aw, that's so sweet.
Look at that.
She doesn't seem to mind his weird little pink arms.
Yeah, that's the best vantage point, it's like, being up on someone's shoulders, you can see everything, but you're with the person you love.
So close to them.
[sighs.]
I got to ride on Top Bun's shoulders.
[moans.]
Oh, my God, that would be so cool.
Remember that French guy I dated? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, with the croissants.
Wait.
There's Top Bun! - Oh, my gosh, he has a conga.
- [gasps.]
It's so dumb that it's cool.
It's sexy.
Yeah, it's like he doesn't even care about anything.
It's making me boy crazy.
We can't afford to lose him again.
Okay, I am behind you every step of the way.
And I will be behind him every step of his way.
- Go.
Go, go, go, go! - Go! We're gonna go? - Load schedule.
- [beeping.]
Coachella from last year, no.
Load current schedule.
Oh, wait.
Okay.
What about Peaches? She's on in, like, 15.
Let's go see Refused first, then come back for Peaches.
- Okay, okay.
- Isn't it this way? - Um, that's the wrong way.
- I'm gonna go up above everyone just for one second, and then I'll see.
- Okay.
- Wha-aah! Nice, easy.
Okay, so, it's just this way.
- Uh, we're gonna miss Peaches.
- Okay, okay.
- Step on it.
- All right, let's go.
Faster.
I'm gonna destroy that bun.
Oh, yeah, I want that bun.
Hot Bun.
How boy crazy am I right now? You seem really boy crazy.
I want to be on the bottom of that top bun.
- What's up, brother? - [hands slap.]
This is our time to make our move.
[sighs.]
All right, what do we want to do? I mean, I guess we just What's the game plan? Is it me or you? It's us! Look, we said we were gonna have a killer weekend.
Are we gonna do this, or what? - Yeah! - Yes, this is good.
All right, we got some speed here.
These things go fast.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay, but if it comes down to it, you're fine to watch us.
- Fine.
Yes.
- Okay, good.
- Ah! - Oh, no.
Ohh - He lost it.
- Oh, he needs it back.
Yeah.
We got to give it back to him.
Ugh.
- Smell it, quick.
- I can't.
The Flaming Lips! - We got to find him.
- Oh, no! - We have to get him? - Oh no, where is he? - He's here.
- Recognize him? [indistinct yelling.]
You're not Top Bun! I think I hit somebody.
Shit.
Don't forget your meal tickets.
I think I made it worse.
The Flaming Lips won't be appearing.
Why won't they go on stage? We can't relitigate the conversations I just had.
It blew up, they're angry at each other, it was partially my fault.
When we sold passes to this festival, we sold them with the idea that The Flaming Lips would be headlining the second night.
Do you guys have any suggestions? Do you have a contract? No, I know there's a contract, The Flaming Lips have never violated a contract, I wrote the contract.
We need to hear those songs, otherwise, not only are we not gonna pay you, we're gonna sue you.
- [gulps.]
- We have two Flaming Lip bands.
- And then now we've got zero? - Yes.
How do we go from two to zero? And soon there's gonna be three, because Sean is dynamite.
Get your band on stage.
It's not working.
All right, so you're telling me to my face that there's gonna be no Flaming Lips on stage? Just tell me right now.
Say that.
Hey, David, I want you to listen in-- D-- No no, David doesn't need to come down.
Dave, you want to come down here? No, I'm trying to work this out, okay? The Flaming Lips are supposed to perform live.
David, he's saying-- [repeating John quietly.]
both: All the guys had a big fight.
both: What would make David happy? What would make David happy is what would make the crowd happy.
We want some Flaming Lips up there.
For The Flaming Lips to appear, it would have to be credibly, someone who is associated with The Flaming Lips.
We want to hear that music.
I don't care who sings it.
Okay, The Flaming Lips are getting on stage.
- Great.
- Great.
The Flaming Lips will be appearing tonight.
Well, that's what I need to hear.
Cool.
That's all we need to know.
Come on.
All right, so main stage is there, I think Flaming Lips are playing soon.
Brendan, there's a campsite over this way, - let's just cut through.
- Okay, main stage bound? Let's go.
Oh, man, I love choppin' wood.
This is gonna be so much fun, I can't wait to see The Flaming Lips, yeah! So they spend the whole weekend here? Yeah.
I hate camping, especially at a festival.
What the hell is that? Wow, this is cool.
[loud smack, thud.]
- Whoa! - Hey.
See me knock that drone down? [scoffs.]
Out of the sky.
- Sir, excuse me? - Holy crap, this thing speaks? What's your problem, man? What, do you got a problem? You're just, like, some sort of problem guy? Huh, you a tough guy? - Yeah, I'm a tough guy.
- Yeah.
What are you, some sort of nerd sitting at home with your drone? - What's up, you want to fight? - Brendan, I-- I don't know.
- You're just a little drone.
- You think I'm not scared - of you, man? - I'm gonna seriously kick your ass.
- What's up, man? - Bring it! - You want a little piece? - Yeah, I want it.
I don't want a piece.
I want the whole damn thing! - I'll get you, man.
- Come on! - [screaming.]
- Yeah! - Come on.
- Take that.
Uh.
[screaming.]
I can help you.
I just need to power this up.
- Ugh! - [screaming.]
Power on.
Ah, nice floatercycle, buddy Yah! Hi-yah! Ha! [motorcycle thudding.]
- Yes! - [laughing.]
You guys see that thing? It cut my face all up! So mad.
Gonna kill that-- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! [rattling.]
Ugh! There's an address! [screams.]
What happened? I don't have any signal anymore.
Damn! - Uh - Let me connect you to me.
We'll just go on one.
Okay.
Hold on.
Ow.
- [beeping.]
- Ha! - Can you see? - Yeah.
Let's get out of here.
[tough guy screaming.]
Oh, my God! Make sure the Lips don't start without me, you guys.
[engine revving.]
There, there, there, I see him.
- Which one? - I see him.
- Oh, stripes.
- In the stripes.
- Excuse me.
Hi.
- Oh, no there! - Ah - This guy, this guy! No.
Oh, my God, look, there are those biceps.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's me! Oh, Laura.
- Look at us! - You like this spot? Yeah, just like Ron said, we have front row seats.
The band you've been waiting for The Flaming Lips! - Whoo! - [crowd cheering.]
- Wait a minute? - Who's that? Hello, I am the lawyer for The Flaming Lips.
I'm the only one who is legally allowed to sing this song, I apologize.
Hit it.
[The Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize".]
do you realize Here comes Billy! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This is so depressing.
I'm, like, totally boy crazy.
There's no boys.
[scoffs.]
What's the point? Plus, I'm, like, melting.
No, you're molting.
- Either way.
- Well, let's just go home.
You sure? You really want to go home and miss it? They sound good realize But let's just go.
- Babybird? - Yeah? Babybird, babybird.
Oh, my gosh, it's Top Bun man.
[sighs.]
- Let's go.
- [bird squawks.]
beautiful face I don't know what this is.
How do I turn my volume down on this thing? Yee.
Eesh.
This is awful.
[knocking.]
What is that? [knocking continues.]
Hold on.
Hello? [screams.]
Michelle! Michelle, call the police! Come here.
Do you see my face? It cut my face.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry! - You're coming with me.
Michelle! Take your helmet off! you have the most I'm sorry! You're coming with me to the toilet, come on.
I'm sorry! Aah! face do you realize? This is bullshit.
This is bullshit.
You know he's charging us for this.
Hey, he's not charging us.
You're paying for this.
What is this? What is this all about? - That Billboard party.
- Well-- - Remember that? - I-- I think so.
- I thought it was cool, what? - Okay You didn't introduce me to Sean Penn.
You guys were standing there in the hallway talking, laughing I mean, you know how much I love "Colors," and, "At Close Range," and I mean, we saw "Dead Man Walking" opening night.
"Milk," and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," I do.
I mean, I love him as much as you.
Sean Penn is in my top three favorite living actors.
- Oh, he is great.
- Oh, yeah.
"Razor's Edge"? Oh, yeah.
I'm walking up to him, he's blowing me off.
What is this? What are we gonna do? What-- this is-- I can't believe he's doing that.
[stammers.]
Why don't we be the ones playing for Want to get back up there? - Together? - Why don't we? - All right.
Cool.
- Here we go.
[bird squawk.]
Hi.
So you having fun? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Lose something? - My bun! [giggles.]
Yeah.
Please.
Uh We both found it, by the way.
We did.
We both found it.
Mostly I carried it.
Thank you.
Anything else you need help with? - Jesus.
- What? I'm here to see The Flaming Lips.
- We are too.
- Yeah? Oh, yeah, we see 'em all the time.
you realize the Sun doesn't come down [cheers and applause.]
Oh, thank God.
Thank you, everybody.
[upbeat rock music.]
Brendan, hurry back, it's the Lips.
I'd like to thank you for finding my bun, and offer you a ride on my shoulders to watch The Flaming Lips.
do you realize [choking.]
I can't believe you cut me in the face with a drone! Brendan, The Flaming Lips are on.
Should we go check it out? - Yeah, I guess so.
- Yeah yeah yeah.
- Man, I'm sorry.
- Yeah, yeah, it's all right.
No way! - You ready? - Oh, it's scary! - How do you feel? - Safe.
happiness makes you cry do you realize? oh-whoa-oh [sniffling.]
that everyone you know someday will die You're blocking my view.
[bird squawking.]
and instead of saying all of your good-byes Your hands feel bigger, stronger.
you realize that life goes fast it's hard to make the good things last you realize the sun doesn't go down it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round do you realize?