The Croods: Family Tree (2021) s06e01 Episode Script

-[screams, grunts]
-[snarling]
PHIL:
Take as much time as you need.
You've already lost.
You just don't know it yet.
Wait. Something's off.
Fourteen, 15, 16.
Hm. A stick is missing.
[gasps] A stick is missing!
[gasping]
-Hey, Phil, we're going
cave diving.
Can we borrow
a couple of glow lamps?
-Follow-up question.
You're on the floor why?
-I'm looking for
a Stack Sticks stick.
We're in the middle
of a game,
and I was about to initiate
a cascade of stratagem
that would leave
my opponent breathless.
-We? Who are you playing with?
-Philliam.
He's the only worthy
gaming adversary I can find.
Everyone else on the farm
has proven inadequate.
Present company included.
-I like that you're just using
insults as backstory now.
-Who has time for both?
-Efficiency is the product
of a potent intellect.
A commodity I have faith
you'll attain in time. Ow!
-Yeah, so we're just gonna
grab some glow lamps,
and let you get back
to the voice in your head.
-[gasps] Wait! Don't go!
I'm sorry.
Will you help me
find my stick?
-I love a good hunt! Even if
it's just for a stick. Mom?
-Sure. I've already done
dumber things than that today.
Okay, so if it fell off
the table,
it probably landed
right around--
-Here! It's here!
-[Phil grunts, groans]
-Wait! It's not here.
-Right,
because it
probably kept rolling
on account of the ground
being so uneven.
-Are you critiquing
my flawless floors?
How dare you!
A stick is missing. A stick!
-[Ugga grumbles]
-[Phil gasps]
Gah! Now you've lost my rock!
-No, Phil. We found your stick.
-My stick! Andmy rock!
You found them both! But, how?
-I guess we've
"attained the intellect"
we need to find stuff.
Including stuff I wish
we hadn'tfound.
-What and why is that?
-It's a Phil-leopard.
Half Phil, half leopard.
Does that answer your question?
-Yes, but it raises
several more questions.
-Well, thank you again
for locating my missing stick.
It appears as though not
everyone on the farm
is a cognitive sinkhole.
-Combining compliments
and insults. Also a time-saver.
-And finding that stick
was actually kind of fun.
Let us know if you lose anything
else, especially the attitude.
-Hm! Hm
Philliam? Did you cheat
while I was distracted?
[water drip]
Understandable. A hollow victory
is still a victory. Stick bump!
-[clatters]
-Philliam!
Let's live wild,
the world's our own
We built this wheel
now it's gunna roll
You know a spark
becomes a fire wherever we go
Whoa-ho-ho
Stuck together,
stuck, stuck together
It's an evolution
for worse or for better
To find some unity
For all humanity
Because we're
stuck together
In one big family tree
UGGA:
[laughs] Best cave diving ever!
-But maybe we shouldn't tell Dad
the diving vine broke
and almost dropped you
into a pool of lava.
-What vine?
In fact, who are you?
-[both laugh]
-[Guy grunting]
[grunting]
-[sighs] Don't mind me.
I'm just fighting rocks.
And losing.
-Guy-boy, what happened?
-I was waiting for the elevator,
when snap! The vine broke,
and I almost got flattened!
Someone put a bunch
of rocks in there.
-Why would anybody do that?
-No clue! All I know
is that I've been pulling out
these heavy rocks all morning.
[grunts] By myself.
-Oh!
-[crunch]
-Always on thatfoot!
-Aw, Guy-boy.
-Do you need some--
-PHIL: Help!
Eep! Ugga! It's Philliam!
Someone has taken-- Ah!
It's Phill-- Ah!
[straining] Sorry.
Still working out the kinks
on the Betterman Breezy Glider!
-It allows you to glide while
enjoying a refreshing breeze.
EEP: Hm
-But hold your applause because
something has
happened to Philliam!
-You mean that stick doll
Dawn made you?
-Stick doll? Just because
Philliam is made of sticks
doesn't mean he's not a source
of comfort or a good listener
or a dear friend,
worthy of my trust, loyalty,
and even love.
-Uh
-Uh, and someone has taken
Philliam from my lab!
Hurry! Time is of the essence.
To the lab cave!
Ah!
I said to the lab cave!
-[whirring]
-To! The! Lab! Cave! Come!
On! Breezy! Glider!
-We'll meet you there, Phil.
-[straining]
-Ah! Don't leave me!
-Oh yeah!
No, you guys go ahead
and find Phil's stick thing.
I'll just be here, by myself,
getting the rocks
out of the elevator.
The elevator that
everyone uses! [grunts]
Ah! Come on!
-Philliam and I
were in the middle
of a heated game of
Stack Sticks this morning.
I lost the match,
and then I lost my temper.
Ooh! You're not a man!
You're man-shaped kindling!
[struggling]
Ah!
Stack Sticks
is a passionate game,
so I decided to cool off
by taking a hot steam.
When I returned, he was gone.
Oh, Philliam.
If only I could turn back time.
-Maybe he got
knocked off the table.
-Yeah! Like your
Stack Sticks stick!
Which means Philliam is right
here!
Or there's another leaf drawing,
which is somehow creepier
than the last one.
-Phil, what is going on
with you?
-Ignore this perfectly
healthy flight of fancy,
and rededicate your attentions
to finding Philliam!
Philliam!
[crying]
-Wow. I've never seen Phil
this upset before.
Or clingy.
So, should we help him?
[hyperventilating]
-If helping Phil means we get to
solve a mystery, I'm in.
-Fine, Phil. We'll help you.
-Wonderful! And since you're
helping me, I'll help you
help me.
-You want me to take out
your garbage?
-Not garbage. Clues!
I found them while searching
for Philliam.
Perhaps whoever took Philliam
left them behind.
-That ishelpful. Thanks, Phil.
Well, we better start looking
for someone who's sloppy.
-Wait! This is the last
known picture of Philliam.
I drew it this morning.
This is Philliam
with a mustache
-Uh, thanks.
-And this is a picture
of Philliam at the beach.
Just Philliam and I,
playing in the sand.
[happy music]
-[music stops]
-[crying]
-Uh, okay. We're gonna go now.
-We'll visit that beach again,
Philliam. Just you and I.
-I know we're just looking
for some missing sticks,
but it feels like the stakes
have never been higher.
-You mean the stick stakes?
-[both laugh]
Boom! And Phil is even closer
to losing it than usual.
-Agreed. So, we know
one of these people
-took Phil's stick doll.
-EEP: Hm
And we know Dawn didn't do it
because she's Dawn.
Guy's clean because he was busy
dropping rocks on his foot.
UGGA:
And we know it wasn't Sandy
because she's
only interested
in sticks that are weapons,
meat skewers, or both.
-And these clues are gonna
help us figure out
who it was, but how?
-I don't know where
this grass came from,
but the color is so familiar.
-Yeah, Mom, because it's green.
-[gasps]
-Green? Oh, Ugga. To see
the world as simply as you do.
-It's chartreuse.
-[growls]
-Mom?
-Sorry. This came from
Hope's yoga mat.
-Which means Hope
did it! I knew it!
-Well, she's not a Philliam fan,
but just to be sure,
let's ask her some questions.
-Like why she did it
and how long
she's been swiping sticks
and why she can't stop!
-Or questions to figure out
if she actually did it.
-Right. Because she did it.
[humming]
-Hey, Hope?
-Gah!
-Never sneak up on me!
Ever! Got it?!
Sorry. I was just meditating.
It helps me with
my internalized rage.
-Well, seems like it's working.
-So you're angry, huh?
Angry enough to
steal Philliam, perhaps?
-Someone stole Philliam?
That's not good.
The last time
Philliam went missing,
Dad took it really hard.
-You're no Philliam!
None of you are Philliam!
[grunting]
-That's my pil low.
-Let it go, Dawn. He needs this.
-We really have
to find Philliam.
-Consider it done, Dawn,
because we already know
who has sticky stick-fingers.
-Your mom took him.
-What? Why would I do that?
Because Phil treats
that stupid stick
like it's alive
and part of the family?
Sorry, honey.
I know you made it.
But I didn't take Philliam.
-Yes, you did!
And here's the proof!
Green grass from youryoga mat!
-We found it in the lab cave
where Philliam was last seen.
-First of all, that's not green.
It's chartreuse.
And the reason it was there
is because Phil
was fixing a snag
in my yoga mat.
-Huh. Okay, but it still doesn't
mean you didn't take Philliam!
-Where were you this morning?
-I was here with Dawn,
hanging wind chimes in the tree.
-See?
-That's a full morning
of chimes.
-And then some.
[gentle chiming]
-[grunting]
-[blowing, loud chiming]
-Ah! I told you it's too much
chime, Mom! Too much!
-[chiming continues]
-You can't have too much chime
because you can't be
too relaxed!
-I knew Hope didn't do it.
-What are you talking about?
You were sure Hope
was our stick thief.
-Stop living in the past, Mom.
Live in the now!
What other clues do we have?
A crowverine feather? [gasps]
Why didn't I think of this
earlier? A crowverine did it!
-Good instinct,
but the question
we have to ask ourselves
is whywould
a crowverine take Philliam?
-Hm It wouldn't,
butsomeone who has
a complicated relationship
with crowverines would!
-[straining]
-Gran, did you take Philliam?
-[groans] It's possible.
I take lots of things.
-You mean like Phil's ballista?
-Exactly! And what's a Philliam?
'Cause it sounds like a poison
and worth swiping.
[grunts]
-It's Phil's stick doll.
-What?! That's not a stick doll!
That's just Phil,
and I don't take people.
Wink-wink. So the deal's off!
-We didn't have a deal.
-Enough with the runaround!
We know you did it, Gran!
If that's even your real name
-It isn't! But my real name
can't be pronounced
by your weak tongues.
So you can call me
-[thunder rumbles]
-Queen O' Wimmins!
-[flame roars]
-Leatherbelly!
-[glass shatter]
-The Shriekquilizer!
-[punches]
-Gristlechops!
-[snapping]
-All Gums!
-[thunder rumbles]
-Bloodstorm!
-Uh, yeah, we got it, Mom.
But if youdidn't take Phillia,
what was this feather doing
in Phil's lab cave?
-[laughing]
That's Malachi's feather.
He leaves fathers around
the farm to taunt me,
but don't worry. He'll get his.
And I only take things
I can use!
Like weapons and teeth.
What am I gonna do
with a stick doll?
-So there's only one more clue,
but it's just a stick.
Wait. What if thisstick
is actually Philliam?
He faked his own stick-napping
and changed his appearance
to start a new life!
It makes perfect sense!
-So, that's a theory that
we're gonna set aside for now
because this isn't just a stick.
Smell it.
[sniffing, gasps]
-This is a meat stick.
-And who do we know
who likes meat sticks?
-Huh. Everyone.
They're delicious!
-Good point, but who likes
meat sticks andhates Phil?
-Wha-- Oh, what's that, Phil?
Fallis your favorite season?
-Well, you're in luck.
-Okay, Dad!
We know what you did
Wait, what are you doing?
-Oh, I was just about
to smash this melon
with Phil's face on it.
-That's supposed to be Phil?
-Yeah! Look.
Here's his two stupid eyes,
his stupid nose,
and his big, stupid mouth!
And his second mouth
and his face thorns.
-Oh. Yeah.
I kindasee it.
But why are you smashing it?
-Because Phil bannedme
from using the elevator!
-Why?
-[grunting]
-See you later, alli-garbage!
-PHIL: Grug!
-Aah!
No idea, but he did.
So I'm dropping Phil-melons
insteadof the real Phil.
Better for everyone, right?
-Especially Phil.
-[splat]
-[goat shrieks]
-Ah, that hit the spot.
-So, what do you know
about Philliam?
-What do you wanna know?
That he's a great listener?
That he lifts me up
when I'm feeling down?
That he's the only
one on the farm
who really understands me?
Mm
-[uncomfortable sighs]
-Okay, Grug, is there something
else you want to tell us?
-BOTH: Hm?
-[uncomfortable grunt]
-Hm?
-[uncomfortable grunting]
-Okay, fine! I did it!
-Ha, ha! I knew it!
-I drew a picture of Phil
on a melon, and then smashed it!
-N-not that, Grug.
We already know that.
-Yeah, because
we just saw you do it
and then you explained
what you were doing.
-Okay, fine. I did it!
I ate the pigator's food,
'cause Phil told me
I couldn't digest it.
-No, that's not what we're--
-And I put a bunch of rocks
in Phil's elevator to break it!
-Phil was right. You shouldn't
be allowed to use the elevator.
-Forget all that! Dad,
Philliam disappeared
this morning,
and we know you did it.
-Philliam's gone?!
W-w-well, I didn't take him.
I mean, I wish I had.
He's a real rock. For a stick.
But I couldn't have taken
Philliam this morning.
-I was busy.
-Doing what?
-I just told you.
The Phil-melon thing,
eating the pigators' food, and
putting rocks in the elevator.
-Wait, you did all of
those things this morning?
-Phil anger keeps me busy.
And warm.
-He's not our guy.
-I knewit was somebody else!
-[Ugga sighs]
-[Eep laughing, grunting]
-Well, we know your dad
didn't take Philliam.
-I know, which means
none of the people
who clearlydid it
actuallydid it.
-So someone elsetook Philliam.
-But who? We're out of clues!
-We should go back
to the lab cave.
Maybe we'll find something.
-As long as it's not another
drawing of a Phil-nimal.
[shudders]
-And done!
-[laughs]
-[grumbles, barks]
Hm. It's not quite right.
[gasps]
Whoops! I'll just tell Dad
Philliam got a haircut.
Problem solved. Ah!
New problem!
-EEP: Find anything?
-[sighs] Nothing. You?
-Even more nothing.
-Mm
-What are you two doing?
You're supposed to
be looking for Philliam,
and Philliam isn't here.
He's out there.Somewhere.
-Alone.
-We're just taking another look
around here to see
if we can find any more clues.
-What? No.
I gave you all the clues.
The grass, the stick,
and the feather.
-Yeah, but all of those clues
were dead ends.
-So you're giving up?!
-No! We're gonna find him,
just like we found
your Stack Sticks stick.
- Andlike how
I just found another clue.
-I knew it. A bug nugget did it!
-That's not a clue.
That's a snack.
-Yes. A snack.
That will lead us
right to a certain snacker.
EEP:
Mm, mm, mmm. Look at him,
scheming about which stick doll
he's gonna take next.
-First of all,
there's only one stick doll.
And secondly,
we don't know if Thunk did it.
-Of course, he did it.
Think about it.
Thunk sits on the couch, doing
nothing but watching window
for days on end.
Over time, doing nothing
becomes his thing.
That all changes when
Thunk meets Philliam,
the stick doll who can't move.
Sure, we all see a bundle
of harmless sticks,
but Thunk sees something else.
A rival.
So he decides to get rid of
the competition by grabbing it
and turning it into
a backscratcher.
-A backscratcher?
Well, Thunk does have
a lot of hard-to-reach itches.
-Exactly. And instead
of just watching him,
-Why don't we ask him?
-Mm-hmm.
Remember the last time
you accused Thunk of something?
-Hey, Thunk? Did you eat
the last piece of pie?
-Pie? What pie? I-I-I don't even
know what pie is!
[slurps, gulps]
You can't prove anything!
[grunts]
-So, what do we do?
-We wait.
And if he's the one
who took Philliam,
eventually he's gonna
make a move,
leading us right
to our missing stick doll.
-Or backscratcher.
Too bad we're almost done here.
I love doing this with you.
-Banana chip?
-Oh, you brought snacks.
-Well played, but stay frosty.
-[chewing]
[snoring]
[yelling]
Oh no! We fell asleep!
-Relax, Mom. It's Thunk.
I'm sure we didn't miss a thing.
Ah! We missed a thing!
Thunk's gone! [gasps]
He's on the move.
Kinda slowly, but still,
he's getting away!
[Thunk humming]
[whispering] So, should we just
jump out and yell "gotcha,"
or do you wanna
chase him a little first?
THUNK:
There you are.
-Right where I left you.
-That's it! That's where
Thunk stashed Philliam!
-Thunk? Honey? Can we talk
to you about something?
-You took Philliam 'cause
he's more nothing than
you'll ever not be!
I'm pretty sure
that makes sense,
so hand over the bug nuggets?
-Uh Never!
-[panting] Ow!
-Thunk,
what are you doing out here?
-Tapping into my secret
bug nugget stash.
Every day, I hide a bowl
of bug nuggets
in case of a Thunkmergency.
What are youdoing out here?
-Someone took Philliam
from Phil's lab cave,
and we thought it was you
because we found this.
-[gasps] Gerald!
-Gerald?
-I name all my bug nuggets.
Gerald is part of yesterday's
stash. I must have dropped him.
Oh, Gerald.
We'll never be parted again.
[chomp, chewing]
[gasps] Oh no! Gerald!
What have I done?!
[crying, screaming] Oh, Gerald!
-I don't get it.
Thunk was stashing snacks,
not stealing sticks.
We followed all the clues,
and no one was even
nearPhil's lab cave
-when Philliam went missing.
-No one except for Phil.
-Hm
Why are we smiling?
Oh, you're saying
Phil took Philliam!
That slippery little
flamingopher! I knew it!
-Sure, because
there's no one left.
Now let's go crack
this Phil fib wide open!
-Come back here!
Okay, Douglas!
-Drop it! That's right, Douglas!
-[growling]
-Nowhere to go.
-[barks]
-Except into the waterfall!
-[splash]
[growls, grunts]
-[Douglas howling]
-[Dawn yelling]
-I still can't believe
Phil would do this.
I mean, I guess I can,
but whywould he do this?
-I don't know,
but we're about to find out.
-Phil! We wanna talk to you.
-Who, me?
Talk about wha-- Ah!
EEP:
He's seriously rolling away?
-Oh no, he's not!
-[whirring]
-[screaming]
[panting]
-[whirring]
-[screaming]
-Not so fast, Phil!
-EEP: Yeah! Slow your roll!
-[chewing, grunting]
[straining]
-Good morning, Cynthia.
DAWN:
Douglas! Come back here!
-[slow motion] Cynthia!
-[Phil screaming]
-We know you took Philliam!
-You can run,
but you can't hide!
-[Phil screaming]
-[Gran panting]
-[chiming]
-Ah
We've reached sublime chime
because you can never
have too many chimes.
-[panting]
-Douglas, drop it!
-[loud chiming]
-[gasps] Oh no! Too many chimes!
We're in overchime!
-Get back here, Phil!
-You can't roll from the truth!
-Hey, guys!
I fixed the elevator!
By myself!
Totally rock-free now!
Wait! Oh! Oh!
Again?! Who keeps doing this?!
[Phil screaming]
[both grunt]
-No more rolling, Phil!
-We've been onto you
the whole time.
[Ugga clears throat]
Okay, maybe this one
snuck up on me,
but it still over, Phil!
-Oh, thank the stars!
-Wait. You're happy
we caught you?
-Yes!
-Then why did you run?
-I didn't!
It's this Breezy Glider!
It's got a mind of its own.
-Why didn't you just
use the brakes?
-Hm Brakes.
Interesting. [gasps]
-[whirring]
-Breezy Glider, no!
[sighs]
-Forget your invention!
We know you took Philliam!
-Hm.
-[slow clap]
-[unnerving laugh]
EEP:
Hm?
Why are you clapping
slowly like that?
-I don't know.
It just feels right.
The point is, you figured
it out. I took Philliam.
-Yes! We know! But,
why did you take Philliam?
-I've spent years
trying to find a mind
able to match wits with mine.
Someone to challenge me,
to push me to new
intellectual heights!
So when you two found
my missing Stack Sticks stick,
I thought perhaps I'd found
something even more elusive.
A worthy adversary!
But, I had to be sure.
So I concocted
this elaborate ruse!
EEP: So, the green grass,
the feather,
and the meat stick?
-That was allyou?
-Yes.
And Thunk's accidental
bug nugget loss
was my game gain.
All false leads to test your
game-playing skills,
and you passed
with flying colors.
Brava, Ugg and Eep!
Bra va.
-Gotta say,
Phil, staging a theft
and then trying to
pin the blame on others
is a terrible way to
find game opponents.
-But you're Phil,
so that makes sense.
-True.
-And this was actually
a lot of fun.
-Indeed. Even Philliam
enjoyed himself.
Isn't that right, Philliam?
Uh, Philliam?
-[gasping] Philliam's gone!
-Seriously?
-Yes! Someone must
have taken him!
You have to help me
find him! [sobbing]
-Drop that Philliam, Douglas!
[panting]
-Philliam? Philliam!
[grunting]
Philliam! Welcome home!
-Douglas must have thought
it was one of his chew-toys.
But there he is, safe and sound.
The one and only Philliam!
-Hm. Hm
Something's different.
-Right. His hair!
I gave him a stick-over
and a fresh, new do.
-Hm
I love it!
You look healthy, Philliam!
Vibrant! Robust!
Thank you, Dawn.
I don't know what
I would do without him.
-Of course, Dad.
And now, you two can get back
to playing Stack Sticks.
[inhales through gritted teeth]
-Yes, except I'm
putting Philliam
in Stack Sticks stasis
because I found
some realcompetition.
Meet me in the lab cave,
and we'll stack it out,
stick by stick!
Oh, don't be jealous, Philliam.
You had a good run,
and you're still my favorite.
-Yep. A stick is his favorite.
Not his daughter or his wife.
-So, Douglastook Philliam.
-I knew it!
-No.
When I heard
Philliam was lost,
I made a new one.
It was either that
or watch him throw our stuff
over the waterfall again.
-Replacement Philliam.
Good call.
-Well, I've had enough
of searching for stick dolls.
-Time to relax.
-You know what helps me relax?
-[echoing] No chimes!
[all gasp, sigh]
-Mm-hmm
Ha!
[gasps] No!
-You lose again, Phil.
-This was a huge mistake!
Let's go, Philliam!
-I wonder what happened
to the real Philliam.
GRUG:
You're free, Philliam.
No more Phil
'cause I don't let sticks down.
Rocks, sure,
but not sticks.
And the best part
is Phil has no idea.
EEP: Not so fast, Phil!
[gasps]
-Hello, friend.
And now, we can spend
the rest of our lives together.
Philliam!