The Neighborhood (2018) s06e01 Episode Script
Welcome to the Foos Box
1
(LIVELY CROWD CHATTER)
Here you go.
Two chops, two strips.
Run me my meat!
DAVE: Yes, Chef!
I used context clues
to figure out you needed more steaks.
Uh, would you put these out
and stop saying, "Yes, Chef"?
Yes, Chef. Sorry, Chef.
Quite a yardecue you're throwing.
Oh, babe, we had to celebrate.
I mean, the Fuse Box
is finally in the black.
Hallelujah! Look, not that black.
Your profit was only $611.
That's still a profit.
Well, yeah.
Then you decided to go and celebrate
and buy a thousand-dollar grill.
Oh. Ooh!
No negative talk around my grill, Tina.
And by the way, I wouldn't
eat that potato salad.
Miss Kim made it.
The only thing worse than the aftertaste
is the taste-taste.
I thought it was egg salad.
Hey, get away from that.
Dave, do you have any Worcestershire
in one of your 19 pockets?
No, but I've got something even better.
Check this out. Cruelty-free,
low-sodium, small-batch,
locally-sourced, artisanal,
heart-healthy rub.
Oh. Wow.
- You say it's artisanal?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What?
- (METALLIC THUD)
- Ooh!
Still got it.
Hey, Grover?
- Come here.
- What do you need, Mr. Calvin?
Would you run to the corner store
and get me some Worcestershire,
a bag of ice, and play my number for me?
Six, nine, seven.
Straight or boxed?
Straight. Go on now.
I-I'll go with you.
Uh, Gemma, your son's a teenager now.
He can walk to Cresthaven by himself.
You're right.
Hmm.
How did I become the
mother of a teenager?
Well, it was 2010, and
we were riding high
from that sexually charged
Bonnie Raitt concert.
One thing led to another, and
Yeah, yeah, I remember the night.
I just mean, he's grown so much,
and I don't feel older.
Although my stomach's not feeling great.
Oh, I just had some of
Miss Kim's bread pudding.
I thought those were enchiladas.
It's potato salad,
and I think we need to throw that out.
Gladly.
Hey, Pop. Sorry we're late.
Yeah, we were at Ernie's
at the trivia tournament
with the Fuse Box staff.
You should have stopped by.
Well, Marty, I'm not staff,
and neither are you.
We're management.
You shouldn't be blurring
the lines like that.
Oh, come on, Dad.
What would they have
said if I didn't show up?
They would say that you're the boss.
Yeah. I'm-I'm not like a
I'm not like a boss boss.
I'm a fun boss. Malcolm was there.
Malcolm, tell Daddy how fun I was.
Oh, yeah, Pop.
They were making fun of Marty all day.
Not "fun of." "Fun with."
Marty. You can't get all
buddy-buddy with the employees.
Listen, I've been doing
this for a long time,
and I'm in it to make
money, not be popular.
Yeah, well, I'm glad to
hear you say that, Pop,
because from the way they
were talking about you,
you are definitely not popular.
Behind!
- Chef, if I may.
- You may not.
Well, I was actually
going to agree with you.
Oh. Proceed.
Down at the VA, we've had a series
of mandatory three-hour,
healthy workplace seminars,
which, by the way, are fantastic.
In my opinion, they should be six hours.
Anyway, what I've learned is that
properly managing power dynamics
is crucial to a healthy workplace.
Huh. Well, Dave, you know, for that,
you get to flip the steaks.
Yes, Chef. Thank you, Chef.
Sorry, Chef. Sorry, Calvin.
Oh!
Y'all finished my cheesy,
three-bean salad.
Good thing I got some more.
Did she just pull that out of her seat?
Nasty. Just nasty.
Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
Welcome to the hood. ♪
(LIVELY, INDISTINCT CHATTER)
This is great.
Oh, isn't it?
No, Marty.
I see people eating and chatting
and hoverboarding and TikTok-ing,
- but you know what I don't see?
- What?
People working.
Our company repairs electric vehicles.
The vehicles are over there.
The people that I'm
paying to work on them
are over there, but we don't make money
until they get together here.
Dad, for people in my generation,
work-life balance is key.
People work while they play.
That's how work gets done.
That's not what work is.
My man.
Work isn't supposed to be fun.
That's why they call it "work."
It comes from the Latin
"Bustus thy gluteus maximus."
Morning, Mr. B.
What up, nerd?
Courtney.
What the hell was that?
Oh, Dad, come on.
Courtney and I are old friends.
We worked together at JPL for years.
Well, you're not coworkers
anymore, all right?
She works for you now.
This place will never be productive
if you keep treating it
like a Dave & Buster's.
Okay. Dad, I am co-owner
of this company.
I have a say in how things are run.
And this-this is hardly
a Dave & Buster's.
Where do you want this, boss?
- A foosball table?
- Right over there.
- Take it back to the store.
- I'm-I'm the boss.
CALVIN: I'm the boss.
- Well, I ordered this.
- (MUTTERS)
Take it back. Got to pull it.
My man. My man.
And so I was like, "Ow, ow, ow!"
And that's when I took off my shoe,
and I realized it wasn't a pebble.
It was a Skittle.
Which you threw away?
Sure. In my mouth.
Aw.
Why did I even ask you?
Oh, great. Let's hurry.
Why?
It's just that construction
workers aren't very enlightened
when it comes to women.
Okay.
- Hey, excuse me?
- Just ignore them.
Your cans!
Wow. Original.
You want me to grab 'em?
In your dreams!
Okay, well, your-your peaches
fell out onto the sidewalk.
Oh, you mean those cans?
Yes, I will take those.
- Thank you.
- Hey, no problem.
Have a great day, ma'am.
Ma'am?
Seemed pretty enlightened to me.
What do you know? You eat
candy out of your shoe!
Really, Dad? A time clock?
Well, as you say, we're both bosses.
So if you decided to let the
employees have a foosball table,
fine, but I'm not going
to pay them to use it.
(TIME CLOCK CLICKS)
So now they clock out
when they start playing,
and when they're done,
they clock back in.
Hey, hey!
Here you go, everyone.
You guys are all clocked out.
So as you guys like to say, turn up.
You aren't really doing this.
What's going on?
Oh, the cereal bar is closed.
If you're not here by 9:00
a.m., you miss breakfast.
Dad
Cereal is not just for breakfast.
Yeah, Mr. B., us millennials are
really into hacking our metabolisms,
so we eat a lot of micro meals.
(CHUCKLING)
That's just snacking.
Your generation can't rename snacks.
I know snacks. I've been a snacker.
I'm from a long line of snackers.
I keep a snack in the backpack, Jack.
♪
So, you wanted these men to hoot at you?
No, it's gross.
I just want them to want to hoot at me.
I mean, when you lose
construction workers
Gemma, listen to yourself.
I know. I know it's crazy, but
it just seems like a minute ago,
I was at a kegger in a cornfield
with my high school friends,
drunk, dirty dancing with
boys, trying to ride cows.
Not loving this story.
What do you mean, "ride cows"?
We rode cows. We were the cool kids.
But the point is,
all of a sudden, here I
am getting "ma'am-ed."
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
I remember my first ma'am. It was tough.
But I was older than you, though.
That's what I'm saying.
But I'm the only one who's
run a company before, Marty.
I know, Dad, but you're
stuck in the past.
Dave, talk some sense into your man.
What's wrong?
What's right?
None of his employees respect him.
One of them snatched a
donut out of his hand
and called him nerd.
Not inaccurate.
But not appropriate, either.
Come on, Dave, back me up.
Well, uh, keeping office
dynamics informal
can foster collaboration, but
leadership does require a
clear organizational hierarchy
to facilitate decision making.
Translation: I'm right, right?
Yes, Chef.
You don't understand.
Courtney and I have been
friends for a long time.
(CHUCKLING) Yeah. With benefits.
- Say what?
- Huh?
Malcolm, what kind of whisper was that?
Come on, Marty, Pops doesn't
know what benefits means.
Oh, yes, I do.
It means pension,
health care, or smashing.
And I know she didn't
give you health care.
Look, it-it was a couple of months ago.
Courtney and I were
out for a trivia night
with the gang from JPL.
Oh, yeah, you know, Pop,
he made me come join the team,
and those geeks didn't
even learn my name.
- Kept calling me "Sports Guy."
- Malcolm, do you mind?
I'm just saying, that's insulting, okay?
I know more than just sports
I know history,
I know philosophy, I know
when to sit the hell down.
Anyway, the contest
was down to the wire,
and Courtney correctly identified
SpongeBob's species:
Aplysina fistularis.
(LAUGHS)
Damn. You know, one
thing led to another.
Yeah, I know what it led to.
I have two sons.
The next morning we
realized this wasn't us.
We're better off as friends.
Yeah, but, Marty, the fact is,
you slept with an employee.
No, no, no, I would never.
I hired her after we slept together.
Because you slept together?
No, no. She's a brilliant engineer.
Would it have been fair to reject her
because we slept together?
No. No, no, no. That would be bad, too.
Every version of this is bad.
All right. Malcolm, just
set those over there.
- All right.
- Wow, the place is looking good.
Where is everybody?
I don't know. Maybe Marty's
sleeping with all of them.
It's not that big of a deal.
Yes, it is, Tina. It's messy.
There's some lines that
shouldn't be crossed.
Like knowing what your
coworkers look like naked.
Well, no one's here, Dad.
- See what you did?
- (SCOFFS)
I think it's see what you did.
People think they can just show
up for work anytime they want.
No, Dad, three of our engineers
are at a taco truck
getting breakfast burritos
because you closed the cereal bar.
And two of our programmers
have job interviews
at another tech company
where they have air hockey
and unlimited cold brew on tap.
See, right there. Drinking on the job?
That's crossing the line.
Cold brew is coffee, baby.
Where did you read that,
babe, on the Reddit?
(MUTTERS)
Daddy, it's just Reddit.
Hey, Malcolm, great job
at trivia the other night.
It's so great to finally
have a sports ringer.
Because, you know, your
nerd brother is no help.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Yeah, you know what, Courtney?
I am not just a baseball coach.
- Mm.
- Yeah.
Why don't you try asking me
a smart-person question?
Something intellectual, like
who wrote Dante's Inferno?
Well, obviously, that would be Dante.
Well, that was a bad example!
Ugh.
I mean, Marty has no real food here.
I mean, would you look at this?
Just pieces of green paper.
That's seaweed.
And he paid $8.99 for it.
This is nothing but beach garbage.
For that price, I could have
bought a pack of chicken thighs.
Calvin, look, I know it's
hard having a partner.
Like when your dad brought you
into the business at the Pit Stop.
Oh, do not get me
started about that man.
He was stubborn and stuck in his ways.
No. Okay, no. I see
what you're doing here,
but this is different. You know?
I was trying to show my dad
how to keep up with the times.
Which is not the same as
me trying to show Marty
how we did things in the past.
It's-it's just different. That's all.
- I didn't say a word.
- I know.
But your face is very loud.
Look, Calvin, we're blessed.
We just celebrated your first
profit after eight months.
That never happens.
70% of new businesses fail.
So whatever these little
weirdos are doing,
clearly it's working, baby.
So, what, you just want me to sit back
and let them make me rich?
No, I heard your face.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, Gem.
It's "ma'am" now.
Come on, Gemma, you are not a ma'am.
You are the opposite of a ma'am.
Oh, so I'm a sir. Thanks a lot.
Okay. Gemma. Gemma, come on.
So you have a teenager now.
So what? You are still hot.
Yeah, you're fire. You know that?
You look great in yoga pants.
Even now in these dirty sweatpants
with your with your messy hair
and-and chocolate all over your face.
Yeah, that's No. Yeah,
that's right. Down there.
No, now you're
Now you're spreading it onto your neck.
Okay, look, stop. Just stop it, please.
Gemma, the point is,
you are smoking hot,
and those jerks out there are all wrong.
Hey!
Sorry, that was way more
aggressive than I intended.
Uh, hey, guys, just curious.
Have you seen a gorgeous
blonde woman go in that house?
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, then, why the hell
haven't you said anything?
I don't follow.
Okay, you guys are construction workers.
You're supposed to cat call women.
That was my wife, and
you hurt her feelings.
We're supposed to be respectful.
No. No, you're not.
Next time you see my wife,
keep the word "ma'am" out your mouth.
It's not us.
We had an HR seminar on
fostering a healthy workplace.
Believe me, your wife is a smoke show.
Thank you for saying that.
Also, dial it back.
Hey, hey, little buddy.
I got to ask.
How did a guy like you
get a woman that hot?
You got to be rich, right?
Are you one of those crypto guys?
No, I'm not one of those crypto guys.
I'm very good-looking and I'm funny.
And financially, I do just fine.
Good for you, sir.
Dave, what are you doing?
Now I don't know anymore.
According to them, you're smoking hot,
and I'm
I'm just some homely troll.
They called me hot?
Oh, that's sweet.
You guys are pigs!
Oh, boom!
Game, sucker.
Ha ha!
Yeah.
I'm going to go back to work.
Oh, really, Courtney?
Now that you start losing, all
of a sudden you got to work?
You know what? I don't like
playing against people who spin.
You damn right I spin.
You gotta spin to win.
Well, this ain't over, spinner.
I think you mean "winner."
Well, check you out, Dad.
Embracing the culture.
Oh, I am beating the culture's ass.
You know, Marty, I see
why you like these people.
They're fun. Right, Calvin?
Yeah. You know, I could
have been a little judgmental.
And on those rare occasions
when I'm not right,
I've learned to defer to my partner,
who has been doing a great job, man.
Thanks, Dad.
Somebody pinch me.
So, who's the pregnant girl?
Who are you talking about?
That girl right there. The pregnant one.
No
- Is she pointing at
- No, no, no, no. 'Cause she
she doesn't know. She doesn't
know what she's talking about.
- I don't know what?
- (CLAMORING)
I don't know, guys.
Your mother has an amazing baby-dar.
It's a weird talent.
We've been trying to figure
out how to monetize it.
Wait, wait, wait. What are you saying?
Are you saying Courtney's pregnant?
Courtney?
- That's Courtney?
- Yes.
Your Courtney?
- Well
- Yes.
Did you No, no, no, no.
You better not tell me that
you got that girl pregnant!
Wait a minute. If you're having a baby,
that means I'm a grandma.
- I'm a little nervous.
- Yeah.
- But I'm excited.
- Yeah.
So I guess I'm nervous-skited.
- But I'm very disappointed in you!
- Ow, ow, ow!
- I just don't know how to feel.
- Calm down. Calm down.
Mom, you don't know that.
Well, then, go ask her.
Mommy, I can't ask a
woman if she's pregnant.
- Well, I can.
- No.
- (ALL STAMMERING)
- Babe. Babe. Babe
- Daddy, please do something.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Stop, Mama! Mama
- (CLAMORING)
- Please, please, please
- Please don't.
Hey, sweetie. How you doing?
I'm good, Mrs. B.
Oh.
You know, you have beautiful skin.
You're glowing.
Thank you.
You know, a woman in the grocery
store told me that yesterday?
I bet.
So, what you got there?
Oh, chicharrones and yogurt.
I know it's weird, but
I can't stop eating it.
- Um, you know
- So good.
I think we need to talk.
Oh. Okay.
Yeah. So
MARTY: What is happening in there?
Oh, no, just let your mama
do her thing, all right?
Everybody just chill.
- Calm down. Everybody chill out!
- But what is happening?
Just chill out!
Okay.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
- Courtney's crying.
- Oh, no. But that can mean anything.
But your mama's smiling.
Even so. Even so.
Oh, you in trouble. (CHUCKLES)
So you can buy a nine-dollar
bag of seaweed,
but can't buy a two-dollar condom?
♪
(LIVELY CROWD CHATTER)
Here you go.
Two chops, two strips.
Run me my meat!
DAVE: Yes, Chef!
I used context clues
to figure out you needed more steaks.
Uh, would you put these out
and stop saying, "Yes, Chef"?
Yes, Chef. Sorry, Chef.
Quite a yardecue you're throwing.
Oh, babe, we had to celebrate.
I mean, the Fuse Box
is finally in the black.
Hallelujah! Look, not that black.
Your profit was only $611.
That's still a profit.
Well, yeah.
Then you decided to go and celebrate
and buy a thousand-dollar grill.
Oh. Ooh!
No negative talk around my grill, Tina.
And by the way, I wouldn't
eat that potato salad.
Miss Kim made it.
The only thing worse than the aftertaste
is the taste-taste.
I thought it was egg salad.
Hey, get away from that.
Dave, do you have any Worcestershire
in one of your 19 pockets?
No, but I've got something even better.
Check this out. Cruelty-free,
low-sodium, small-batch,
locally-sourced, artisanal,
heart-healthy rub.
Oh. Wow.
- You say it's artisanal?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What?
- (METALLIC THUD)
- Ooh!
Still got it.
Hey, Grover?
- Come here.
- What do you need, Mr. Calvin?
Would you run to the corner store
and get me some Worcestershire,
a bag of ice, and play my number for me?
Six, nine, seven.
Straight or boxed?
Straight. Go on now.
I-I'll go with you.
Uh, Gemma, your son's a teenager now.
He can walk to Cresthaven by himself.
You're right.
Hmm.
How did I become the
mother of a teenager?
Well, it was 2010, and
we were riding high
from that sexually charged
Bonnie Raitt concert.
One thing led to another, and
Yeah, yeah, I remember the night.
I just mean, he's grown so much,
and I don't feel older.
Although my stomach's not feeling great.
Oh, I just had some of
Miss Kim's bread pudding.
I thought those were enchiladas.
It's potato salad,
and I think we need to throw that out.
Gladly.
Hey, Pop. Sorry we're late.
Yeah, we were at Ernie's
at the trivia tournament
with the Fuse Box staff.
You should have stopped by.
Well, Marty, I'm not staff,
and neither are you.
We're management.
You shouldn't be blurring
the lines like that.
Oh, come on, Dad.
What would they have
said if I didn't show up?
They would say that you're the boss.
Yeah. I'm-I'm not like a
I'm not like a boss boss.
I'm a fun boss. Malcolm was there.
Malcolm, tell Daddy how fun I was.
Oh, yeah, Pop.
They were making fun of Marty all day.
Not "fun of." "Fun with."
Marty. You can't get all
buddy-buddy with the employees.
Listen, I've been doing
this for a long time,
and I'm in it to make
money, not be popular.
Yeah, well, I'm glad to
hear you say that, Pop,
because from the way they
were talking about you,
you are definitely not popular.
Behind!
- Chef, if I may.
- You may not.
Well, I was actually
going to agree with you.
Oh. Proceed.
Down at the VA, we've had a series
of mandatory three-hour,
healthy workplace seminars,
which, by the way, are fantastic.
In my opinion, they should be six hours.
Anyway, what I've learned is that
properly managing power dynamics
is crucial to a healthy workplace.
Huh. Well, Dave, you know, for that,
you get to flip the steaks.
Yes, Chef. Thank you, Chef.
Sorry, Chef. Sorry, Calvin.
Oh!
Y'all finished my cheesy,
three-bean salad.
Good thing I got some more.
Did she just pull that out of her seat?
Nasty. Just nasty.
Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
Welcome to the hood. ♪
(LIVELY, INDISTINCT CHATTER)
This is great.
Oh, isn't it?
No, Marty.
I see people eating and chatting
and hoverboarding and TikTok-ing,
- but you know what I don't see?
- What?
People working.
Our company repairs electric vehicles.
The vehicles are over there.
The people that I'm
paying to work on them
are over there, but we don't make money
until they get together here.
Dad, for people in my generation,
work-life balance is key.
People work while they play.
That's how work gets done.
That's not what work is.
My man.
Work isn't supposed to be fun.
That's why they call it "work."
It comes from the Latin
"Bustus thy gluteus maximus."
Morning, Mr. B.
What up, nerd?
Courtney.
What the hell was that?
Oh, Dad, come on.
Courtney and I are old friends.
We worked together at JPL for years.
Well, you're not coworkers
anymore, all right?
She works for you now.
This place will never be productive
if you keep treating it
like a Dave & Buster's.
Okay. Dad, I am co-owner
of this company.
I have a say in how things are run.
And this-this is hardly
a Dave & Buster's.
Where do you want this, boss?
- A foosball table?
- Right over there.
- Take it back to the store.
- I'm-I'm the boss.
CALVIN: I'm the boss.
- Well, I ordered this.
- (MUTTERS)
Take it back. Got to pull it.
My man. My man.
And so I was like, "Ow, ow, ow!"
And that's when I took off my shoe,
and I realized it wasn't a pebble.
It was a Skittle.
Which you threw away?
Sure. In my mouth.
Aw.
Why did I even ask you?
Oh, great. Let's hurry.
Why?
It's just that construction
workers aren't very enlightened
when it comes to women.
Okay.
- Hey, excuse me?
- Just ignore them.
Your cans!
Wow. Original.
You want me to grab 'em?
In your dreams!
Okay, well, your-your peaches
fell out onto the sidewalk.
Oh, you mean those cans?
Yes, I will take those.
- Thank you.
- Hey, no problem.
Have a great day, ma'am.
Ma'am?
Seemed pretty enlightened to me.
What do you know? You eat
candy out of your shoe!
Really, Dad? A time clock?
Well, as you say, we're both bosses.
So if you decided to let the
employees have a foosball table,
fine, but I'm not going
to pay them to use it.
(TIME CLOCK CLICKS)
So now they clock out
when they start playing,
and when they're done,
they clock back in.
Hey, hey!
Here you go, everyone.
You guys are all clocked out.
So as you guys like to say, turn up.
You aren't really doing this.
What's going on?
Oh, the cereal bar is closed.
If you're not here by 9:00
a.m., you miss breakfast.
Dad
Cereal is not just for breakfast.
Yeah, Mr. B., us millennials are
really into hacking our metabolisms,
so we eat a lot of micro meals.
(CHUCKLING)
That's just snacking.
Your generation can't rename snacks.
I know snacks. I've been a snacker.
I'm from a long line of snackers.
I keep a snack in the backpack, Jack.
♪
So, you wanted these men to hoot at you?
No, it's gross.
I just want them to want to hoot at me.
I mean, when you lose
construction workers
Gemma, listen to yourself.
I know. I know it's crazy, but
it just seems like a minute ago,
I was at a kegger in a cornfield
with my high school friends,
drunk, dirty dancing with
boys, trying to ride cows.
Not loving this story.
What do you mean, "ride cows"?
We rode cows. We were the cool kids.
But the point is,
all of a sudden, here I
am getting "ma'am-ed."
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
I remember my first ma'am. It was tough.
But I was older than you, though.
That's what I'm saying.
But I'm the only one who's
run a company before, Marty.
I know, Dad, but you're
stuck in the past.
Dave, talk some sense into your man.
What's wrong?
What's right?
None of his employees respect him.
One of them snatched a
donut out of his hand
and called him nerd.
Not inaccurate.
But not appropriate, either.
Come on, Dave, back me up.
Well, uh, keeping office
dynamics informal
can foster collaboration, but
leadership does require a
clear organizational hierarchy
to facilitate decision making.
Translation: I'm right, right?
Yes, Chef.
You don't understand.
Courtney and I have been
friends for a long time.
(CHUCKLING) Yeah. With benefits.
- Say what?
- Huh?
Malcolm, what kind of whisper was that?
Come on, Marty, Pops doesn't
know what benefits means.
Oh, yes, I do.
It means pension,
health care, or smashing.
And I know she didn't
give you health care.
Look, it-it was a couple of months ago.
Courtney and I were
out for a trivia night
with the gang from JPL.
Oh, yeah, you know, Pop,
he made me come join the team,
and those geeks didn't
even learn my name.
- Kept calling me "Sports Guy."
- Malcolm, do you mind?
I'm just saying, that's insulting, okay?
I know more than just sports
I know history,
I know philosophy, I know
when to sit the hell down.
Anyway, the contest
was down to the wire,
and Courtney correctly identified
SpongeBob's species:
Aplysina fistularis.
(LAUGHS)
Damn. You know, one
thing led to another.
Yeah, I know what it led to.
I have two sons.
The next morning we
realized this wasn't us.
We're better off as friends.
Yeah, but, Marty, the fact is,
you slept with an employee.
No, no, no, I would never.
I hired her after we slept together.
Because you slept together?
No, no. She's a brilliant engineer.
Would it have been fair to reject her
because we slept together?
No. No, no, no. That would be bad, too.
Every version of this is bad.
All right. Malcolm, just
set those over there.
- All right.
- Wow, the place is looking good.
Where is everybody?
I don't know. Maybe Marty's
sleeping with all of them.
It's not that big of a deal.
Yes, it is, Tina. It's messy.
There's some lines that
shouldn't be crossed.
Like knowing what your
coworkers look like naked.
Well, no one's here, Dad.
- See what you did?
- (SCOFFS)
I think it's see what you did.
People think they can just show
up for work anytime they want.
No, Dad, three of our engineers
are at a taco truck
getting breakfast burritos
because you closed the cereal bar.
And two of our programmers
have job interviews
at another tech company
where they have air hockey
and unlimited cold brew on tap.
See, right there. Drinking on the job?
That's crossing the line.
Cold brew is coffee, baby.
Where did you read that,
babe, on the Reddit?
(MUTTERS)
Daddy, it's just Reddit.
Hey, Malcolm, great job
at trivia the other night.
It's so great to finally
have a sports ringer.
Because, you know, your
nerd brother is no help.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Yeah, you know what, Courtney?
I am not just a baseball coach.
- Mm.
- Yeah.
Why don't you try asking me
a smart-person question?
Something intellectual, like
who wrote Dante's Inferno?
Well, obviously, that would be Dante.
Well, that was a bad example!
Ugh.
I mean, Marty has no real food here.
I mean, would you look at this?
Just pieces of green paper.
That's seaweed.
And he paid $8.99 for it.
This is nothing but beach garbage.
For that price, I could have
bought a pack of chicken thighs.
Calvin, look, I know it's
hard having a partner.
Like when your dad brought you
into the business at the Pit Stop.
Oh, do not get me
started about that man.
He was stubborn and stuck in his ways.
No. Okay, no. I see
what you're doing here,
but this is different. You know?
I was trying to show my dad
how to keep up with the times.
Which is not the same as
me trying to show Marty
how we did things in the past.
It's-it's just different. That's all.
- I didn't say a word.
- I know.
But your face is very loud.
Look, Calvin, we're blessed.
We just celebrated your first
profit after eight months.
That never happens.
70% of new businesses fail.
So whatever these little
weirdos are doing,
clearly it's working, baby.
So, what, you just want me to sit back
and let them make me rich?
No, I heard your face.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, Gem.
It's "ma'am" now.
Come on, Gemma, you are not a ma'am.
You are the opposite of a ma'am.
Oh, so I'm a sir. Thanks a lot.
Okay. Gemma. Gemma, come on.
So you have a teenager now.
So what? You are still hot.
Yeah, you're fire. You know that?
You look great in yoga pants.
Even now in these dirty sweatpants
with your with your messy hair
and-and chocolate all over your face.
Yeah, that's No. Yeah,
that's right. Down there.
No, now you're
Now you're spreading it onto your neck.
Okay, look, stop. Just stop it, please.
Gemma, the point is,
you are smoking hot,
and those jerks out there are all wrong.
Hey!
Sorry, that was way more
aggressive than I intended.
Uh, hey, guys, just curious.
Have you seen a gorgeous
blonde woman go in that house?
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, then, why the hell
haven't you said anything?
I don't follow.
Okay, you guys are construction workers.
You're supposed to cat call women.
That was my wife, and
you hurt her feelings.
We're supposed to be respectful.
No. No, you're not.
Next time you see my wife,
keep the word "ma'am" out your mouth.
It's not us.
We had an HR seminar on
fostering a healthy workplace.
Believe me, your wife is a smoke show.
Thank you for saying that.
Also, dial it back.
Hey, hey, little buddy.
I got to ask.
How did a guy like you
get a woman that hot?
You got to be rich, right?
Are you one of those crypto guys?
No, I'm not one of those crypto guys.
I'm very good-looking and I'm funny.
And financially, I do just fine.
Good for you, sir.
Dave, what are you doing?
Now I don't know anymore.
According to them, you're smoking hot,
and I'm
I'm just some homely troll.
They called me hot?
Oh, that's sweet.
You guys are pigs!
Oh, boom!
Game, sucker.
Ha ha!
Yeah.
I'm going to go back to work.
Oh, really, Courtney?
Now that you start losing, all
of a sudden you got to work?
You know what? I don't like
playing against people who spin.
You damn right I spin.
You gotta spin to win.
Well, this ain't over, spinner.
I think you mean "winner."
Well, check you out, Dad.
Embracing the culture.
Oh, I am beating the culture's ass.
You know, Marty, I see
why you like these people.
They're fun. Right, Calvin?
Yeah. You know, I could
have been a little judgmental.
And on those rare occasions
when I'm not right,
I've learned to defer to my partner,
who has been doing a great job, man.
Thanks, Dad.
Somebody pinch me.
So, who's the pregnant girl?
Who are you talking about?
That girl right there. The pregnant one.
No
- Is she pointing at
- No, no, no, no. 'Cause she
she doesn't know. She doesn't
know what she's talking about.
- I don't know what?
- (CLAMORING)
I don't know, guys.
Your mother has an amazing baby-dar.
It's a weird talent.
We've been trying to figure
out how to monetize it.
Wait, wait, wait. What are you saying?
Are you saying Courtney's pregnant?
Courtney?
- That's Courtney?
- Yes.
Your Courtney?
- Well
- Yes.
Did you No, no, no, no.
You better not tell me that
you got that girl pregnant!
Wait a minute. If you're having a baby,
that means I'm a grandma.
- I'm a little nervous.
- Yeah.
- But I'm excited.
- Yeah.
So I guess I'm nervous-skited.
- But I'm very disappointed in you!
- Ow, ow, ow!
- I just don't know how to feel.
- Calm down. Calm down.
Mom, you don't know that.
Well, then, go ask her.
Mommy, I can't ask a
woman if she's pregnant.
- Well, I can.
- No.
- (ALL STAMMERING)
- Babe. Babe. Babe
- Daddy, please do something.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Stop, Mama! Mama
- (CLAMORING)
- Please, please, please
- Please don't.
Hey, sweetie. How you doing?
I'm good, Mrs. B.
Oh.
You know, you have beautiful skin.
You're glowing.
Thank you.
You know, a woman in the grocery
store told me that yesterday?
I bet.
So, what you got there?
Oh, chicharrones and yogurt.
I know it's weird, but
I can't stop eating it.
- Um, you know
- So good.
I think we need to talk.
Oh. Okay.
Yeah. So
MARTY: What is happening in there?
Oh, no, just let your mama
do her thing, all right?
Everybody just chill.
- Calm down. Everybody chill out!
- But what is happening?
Just chill out!
Okay.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
- Courtney's crying.
- Oh, no. But that can mean anything.
But your mama's smiling.
Even so. Even so.
Oh, you in trouble. (CHUCKLES)
So you can buy a nine-dollar
bag of seaweed,
but can't buy a two-dollar condom?
♪