Mad Men s06e02 Episode Script

Sorry to wake you when you're finally sleeping, but I waited as long as I could.
What time is it? They called me and they want me to work today.
I told them about the funeral, but they can't move it to tomorrow because they'll need me then, too.
In fact, they need me for the rest of the week.
That's good, isn't it? I called Jeff Hunter, but I think his service won't wake him.
Isn't an agent supposed to call you? Good news will keep.
I feel awful about the funeral.
Will you please give Roger my condolences? Of course.
You should get some sleep.
How can I? My wife's a big TV star.
Get some sleep.
Break a leg.
Why are you eating? Sandy's coming over for lunch.
First of all, I don't know why you're counting my meals.
And second of all, Sandy's not coming over.
Oh.
That's a shame.
Is she sick? Sick of being here.
She went to Juilliard early.
She did? When? Did you want her to say a tearful goodbye to you? Well, frankly, yes.
Consider yourself lucky.
She was so stuck-up.
She kept saying how she really was going to "look back on this time fondly.
" I can't believe she did that.
She acts like she's 25 because she uses tampons.
Sally, please.
Did she give you her address? Can you drive Jackie and me to the movies? This is a great vacation.
You know, she was like a sister to me.
A much older sister.
How she could have a boy your age, I don't know.
You could be her grandson.
You need to get your eyes checked.
- These are stunning rooms.
- Thank you.
He is so handsome.
I swear you have not aged a day.
Oh, Jane, darling.
- Thank you for coming.
- I thought I should.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I would like to speak first.
I think you just did.
No, the eulogies.
The remarks.
- I wish to go first.
- Of course.
Of course.
If you need to speak to me, I understand.
Thank you for rescuing me.
- From your admirers? - You look wonderful.
I don't know if you remember, but I have her ring.
I don't know if you want it back.
What am I gonna do with it? For Margaret or I don't know, to bury her in it.
We already burned her up.
They steal that stuff anyway.
Just keep it.
She liked you.
You always paid your rent on time.
Do you want the victuals in the parlor? What? Hold on, I didn't order any of this.
It's supposed to be tea and petits fours.
Oh, hell, put it in the dining room.
- I'm really sorry for your loss.
- She was a great lady.
"Bob Benson, SCDP.
" Who the hell is that? That's from us.
Daddy, I think it's time.
What's the rush? Thank you for coming.
God, she is all kinds of trouble, isn't she? Everything turns you on, doesn't it? Is your mother still alive? - Did I miss anything? - You're just in time.
How many funerals have you been to today? - Excuse me? - He wants to know where you got the drink.
Give my regards to Megan.
Rumor has it they're gonna move her to four days a week.
Legend has it.
So, is she alive? Yes, she is.
Don, what about your mother? Still with us? I'm gonna watch from over there.
If I could get your attention.
I'd like to thank everyone for coming.
I apologize for the dry atmosphere, but as I've been reminded many times today, Mother did not approve of libations.
Excuse me, but I have a few words to say.
I insist.
Of course.
Why don't you roll on over here? Can everyone forget what I've said so far so that Mrs.
Hazel Tinsley, who graciously flew up from Palm Beach, can have the honor of going first? Stay here.
I want to say something, if I may, at this informal moment because I do not believe in speaking graveside.
This is where she lived and this is where she died.
"This woman spent 90 years on the Earth, of noble birth and of some advantage, devoting herself to one man, but loving another.
That man was Roger.
" That's you.
"When Roger Sterling Sr.
's brief time was over, it was this Roger who filled her days.
One could not talk to her without hearing about his achievements, his wit, his kindness.
We all said, 'Mimsy.
Mims, you should find another man.
Life is long.
' She said, 'I don't need anyone.
My heart is full because my son is my sunshine.
'" Get him out of here.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Where were you? I'm sorry, but is that man all right? - What's he doing here? - What? - You heard me.
- Can we get someone in here to clean up? - Let Bruce Pike clean it up.
- Roger.
I just wanted to pay my respects.
I think it would have been more respectful of you not to come.
She didn't like you either.
I don't think I ever met your mother.
She wouldn't if she had.
This is supposed to be just family.
- See how upset everybody is? - Roger, stop.
Stop it this minute.
- You shouldn't have brought him.
- Daddy, please.
This is my funeral! You know what? Party's over.
Everybody out.
Thank you very much.
Out! Thank you.
Pardon me.
I'm looking for someone.
Could you help me? Everybody's gone.
Not everybody, obviously.
I think they were overwhelmed by that touching tribute.
What do you want? That man never tires of embarrassing himself.
You're the one who brought him.
I'm talking about Don.
Oh.
He was just saying what everybody else was thinking.
You shouldn't have brought him.
You're right.
Now you have one on me.
Do you feel better? My mother's dead.
I know, Roger.
Must be very hard for you.
I don't feel anything.
You certainly seem emotional.
Because I need a drink.
She lived a long time.
And she knew that you loved her.
So maybe there's nothing to drink about.
I feel like she always wanted to spend time with me and I never did.
That may be something to consider.
You have a family.
Are you kidding me? I looked out at that crowd and all I saw was a bunch more women I've disappointed.
Roger Sterling, no matter what you do, everyone loves you.
What you're seeing is them worried about how you feel about them.
So, you miss me? I know your daughter does.
Don't you wonder what Margaret will say at your funeral? You had to bring that up.
I did.
You should spend more time with her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Remember the last time this bed was covered in furs? We rolled around all over them.
- What are you doing? - I don't know.
You look great.
It would be soothing.
Soothe yourself.
I'm gonna clean up.
Jonesy.
Mr.
Draper, are you all right? - He's not feeling well.
- Hey, Jonesy.
Jonesy, what did you see? I didn't see nothing, Mr.
Draper.
No, no, when you died, what did you see? - Don, let's get you upstairs.
- Wait, I want to know.
I want to know.
What did you see when you died? I don't know.
Doc said I wasn't really dead.
I saw it.
You were dead.
He died right there.
What did you see? I don't like to think about it.
- You must have seen something.
- I guess there was a light.
Was it like hot, tropical sunshine? - I don't know.
- Did you hear the ocean? Mr.
Draper, you should go upstairs.
- Is he all right? - He'll be fine.
- Excuse me.
- Yeah? - Is that St.
Mark's Place? - Yup.
I'm sorry, I'm looking for someone.
A girl.
- Which one? - This one.
There's lots of chicks that come in and out of here.
I've been in the buildings across the street.
Are you sure you haven't seen her? Look, lady, it's cold as a witch's tit.
We're going inside.
May I? Door's always open, man.
Hey, I got the pork butt and I lifted a bunch of onions.
Sandy? Sandy? Oh, I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry to bother you again, but this violin, this belongs to the girl I was talking about.
Are you sure you haven't seen her? Look, lady, I don't want to have to lay the regular rap on you, but I am exhausted from telling people like you - I haven't seen people like her.
- But she was here.
I haven't seen your daughter.
She's not my daughter.
So, what are you, some kind of social worker? Her violin teacher? Shit.
What's her name? Sandy.
Hey, anybody seen Sandy? Do you know how to make goulash? 'Cause I've got pork butt, two onions, and lentils which I think is what's in it.
Hey, Moon, turn around.
And paprika.
I know that's in it.
Well, for one thing, you'll need a pot.
We got a pot.
You'll have to wash it out.
There's no water.
Really? We used to use the hose at the Episcopal church, but now the pipes are frozen.
It was great here all summer.
It was hot.
So much rather be hot than cold.
I'll go on the roof and get a chunk of snow.
- Oh, you'll get sick.
- We do it all the time.
My mom makes great goulash.
- Where are you from? - Everywhere.
Hold on.
I think there's an army knife by the bed.
Hello? Your mother still here? No.
She left.
I'm just waiting for them to wrap up the deli.
Where's Skeezix? Brooks took him bike riding.
It's kind of cold out there.
He can't tell the difference.
The other day he walked in singing and I looked and his nose was bleeding.
He didn't know how he did it.
So he's tough.
Listen, I want you to have something.
This was your grandmother's.
My dad brought it back for her.
He went everywhere.
- What is it? - It's water from the River Jordan.
I was baptized with it.
So were you.
We would have used it on Ellery, but I guess she forgot.
Hope she didn't put her teeth in it.
Well, thank you.
It's lovely.
Did Nana Mimsy leave me anything else? I'm afraid she left everything to the zoo.
She's making them name the animals.
I'm sorry.
That doesn't seem funny to me.
It does to me.
Her will looked like the manifest from Noah's ark.
Well, it's different for you.
Brooks didn't start off where you did.
- He'll get there.
- Oh, I know he will.
It's just that there's-- well, Daddy, there's this opportunity.
I don't know, I-- I told Nana about it, but obviously she didn't understand.
Were you this specific? Daddy, don't.
It's not good for you.
I worry.
Refrigeration.
It's the wave of the future, Daddy.
They can transport fruit all the way from California in just four days and it doesn't go bad.
Some of these trucks can carry 20 tons.
And, of course, you're buying the technology for the refrigerated trucks, so it doesn't matter what they get used for.
It's really not Brooks' problem.
Well, I guess you should have Brooks talk to me about it.
Of course.
I know he'd like to make it on his own, but-- I'd have to see something on paper.
Oh, he's got that, believe me.
Well, good.
And I'm glad we had this little chat.
Oh, Daddy.
I'm going to go see if they're done in the kitchen.
Don? Don? Did you make it to the memorial? Except for the mess, you're exactly where I left you.
I put in an appearance.
I just should have had lunch.
Aspirin? I'm better now.
You? Well, I pushed Derek's mother down the stairs.
- Did you? - I did.
They wanted me to radiate evil, so I looked her in the eyes, but I don't know how close the camera was because it was a stuntman in a dress.
Don't worry.
I don't think there's a nice way you can do that.
I'm not sure people will want my autograph anymore.
Yes, they will.
So you'll still love me even if I'm a lying, cheating whore? But I'm gonna walk behind you on the stairs.
Okay.
Well, I'm gonna make you dinner.
Oh, Rosa found this in the garbage.
I think she was afraid you'd think she was stealing.
Sleep.
I'll come get you.
Hey, Danny, where'd you take that joint? There's three fucking rooms.
Where do you think I am? No, thank you.
Is marijuana expensive? Do I have to stir it again? - Is it boiling? - No.
- My coat smells like onions.
Yoo-hoo.
You better tell him you did the cooking, man.
It's your job.
It's my bag.
- It smells good.
- I made goulash.
- Did you get Wonder Bread? - We got batteries.
Hey, Zal, did you make any friends today? Did you run into this chick? What's her name? I'm sorry.
This violin belongs to my friend Sandy.
Do you know when she'll be back? Sorry, Blondie, but that violin belongs to me.
No, I know the girl who plays this violin and I'm looking for her.
Yeah, no, I saw her.
She sold it to me.
She's trying to get enough bread to go to California.
Says it's too cold.
So where is she now? - Does she owe you money? - No.
Well, your daughter's long gone, Blondie, so why don't you run along? - Come on, Zal.
- Why are you being so rude? Why can't you leave her be? Kills you to be out of control.
Well, someone needs to control this mess.
Lady, we have to take everything the Establishment throws away.
That's all that's left.
What you can't grok is that we are your garbage.
You don't want this house, you don't want us.
You're not allowed to ask anybody to leave.
The bylaws say if someone is a nuisance or a narc, that shall not be observed.
I'm obviously not the people you're talking about.
I came here because I'm looking for someone that I do want.
I did not throw her away.
Yeah, you're a goodie.
I can tell.
Look at this.
She's got 80 bucks.
- Can I have it? - No.
That's all they care about.
Well, Miss Elizabeth Hofstadt Francis of Rye, New York, eyes blue, hair bottled, we don't like your life any more than you do.
You have bad manners.
You deserve to live in the street of this pigsty, and I hope you get tetanus or crabs or whatever else is crawling around here.
Hey, that's my violin.
She sold it? I don't believe you.
You want it? I'll give it to you for 10.
What are you going to do with a violin? Gonna learn how to play it.
Because it's so easy.
There's a meatball, which is probably cold by now, and an Italian, which is probably even colder.
You're typing a lot.
You got a new way to go? No, I'm doing this thing Don used to do.
I'm writing a letter to a fictitious acquaintance telling her how great my new headphones are.
Well, I hate that it gives you extra work, but I think it's about time this unjust war is finally having an impact on commerce.
Meatball.
- Did we order dinner? - No.
I can share.
Try the headphones again.
Try and think of some words.
- What have you got? - We have three very different angles.
If you dip the audio in the wide shot, Mark Antony is just, you know, mouthing the "lend me your ears" part.
You hear the announcer say one of these things-- One.
"Are you ready for the sound for the ages?" Two.
"Koss knows that good sound is timeless.
" Or "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not your old-fashioned sound.
" What's the next one? - The next one or the second one? - You said you had three.
Those were three.
Didn't I read all of them? Those are three different versions of the same idea.
If you can't tell the difference between which part's the idea and which part's the execution of the idea, you're of no use to me.
I know what you're doing.
I've been you.
You're hoping this sparks my imagination and then you can say, "Wow, she's a genius," or say anything because you want to go home.
I think they're very different from each other.
Well, I'm sorry to point it out, but you're walking over the same ground.
When you bring me something like this, it looks like cowardice.
Here, you can split this 'cause you're not going home.
What do you think? What? - How do they sound? - Scared.
You were a little rough.
No, the headphones.
Don't worry about them.
Some workers don't respond to that.
Look, Abe, I don't need another negative voice.
And those, quote, "workers" aren't surprised that I'm frustrated because they know that they're lazy.
Sorry.
I didn't know what kind of abuse was required to get into the frat.
Listen to your music, kid.
Because you laughed at him.
Yes, they like that.
Hello.
Where you been? I had some errands to run.
Well, I know what somebody's getting next Christmas.
Did you eat? Chicken salad.
That's a relief, because my feet are frozen.
Good morning, Mr.
Draper.
Morning.
How are we today? - Fine, thank you.
- You're welcome.
Seeing as how you were under the weather, I just wanted to remind you about Jules and Terry from Sheraton later.
Cancel.
Their bosses are coming back next week and they just sent you on a very expensive trip.
Would you get Stan in here? Oh, listen.
I got this by mistake.
It belongs to some private.
See if you can find out some way to get it to his division.
I will.
Do you want to enclose a note? Nah.
I found it on a barstool.
I mean, you've got to be on my side here, right? First my ex-wife works the body with a brutal guilt attack and then my daughter works the wallet like a speed bag.
You want me on your side? - You have kids? - We're not talking about me.
You know, I used to jump off mountains.
It never occurred to me I had this invisible parachute.
My mother loved me in some completely pointless way and it's gone.
So there it is.
She gave me my last new experience.
And now I know that all I'm going to be doing from here on is losing everything.
You feel loss.
Damn it, how many times do I have to say this? I don't feel anything.
I'm just acknowledging that life, unlike this analysis, will eventually end and somebody else will get the bill.
- Good morning, Ken.
- Good morning, Bob.
What are you doing out here? You have a meeting with someone important? No, but are you looking for me? I'll drop everything.
I just came out here to enjoy the light.
Oh, I thought maybe you were out here greeting customers for your catering business.
- What are you talking about? - You know exactly.
I'm sorry, are you cross with me? Someone sent a royal spread to Sterling's.
It had a card on it with your name.
Oh, that.
It just seemed the thing to do.
Well, it was too much.
It was almost like you were invited, but you weren't.
I guess I was just remembering when my father died.
Any gesture meant something to me.
There wasn't supposed to be a card.
Okay.
Well, take your work and go back to your office.
Sitting out here makes people think you have nothing to do, and I suspect you're hoping it's the opposite.
I guess it's time to catch up on my phone calls.
Look, we're sorry we had to squeeze in this meeting between the holidays.
We're obviously not expecting a full presentation.
Well, I can say with all honesty that Don has not stopped talking about your incredible property.
I never stayed at the Royal, but I shipped out of Pearl in 1943 and, I've got to say, I can still smell the gardenias.
Thank you for that.
Don? So, Bob Grange and his delightful wife Patty saw to our every need and also missed no opportunity to expose us to the unique local flavor.
Lucky Bob.
I tried to get that job, but unfortunately I got promoted.
Well, I've just come back and I'm not sure how much I've talked about it, but there is a feeling that's stayed with me.
I've been in the winter.
It's quite a shock coming back.
Well put.
But that could be any vacation.
This was very, very different.
I think we're not selling a geographical location.
We're selling an experience.
It's not just a different place, you are different.
And you'd think there'd be an unsettling feeling about something so drastically different, but there's something else.
You don't miss anything.
You're not homesick.
It puts you in this state.
The air and the water are all the same temperature as your body.
It's sensory-- the music, the fragrance, the breeze, and the blue.
Stan.
Ahem.
It's just a sketch.
Hawaiian legend has it that the soul can go in and out of the body, but that it usually leaves from a leeward point into the waves.
"Hawaii.
The jumping off point.
" So what happened to him? He got off the plane, took a deep breath, shed his skin, and jumped off.
I assume this is a photograph.
More color.
That water is transparent.
Well, I suppose it reminds me a little of the cinema.
But mostly I see James Mason - at the end of that movie walking into the sea.
- What is that movie? I'm not sure I know what you're taking about.
He's killing himself.
I don't think they show it, but he's going to swim out until he can't swim back.
That may be a personal association for you, but that's not what this means.
We looked at this.
None of us thought of that.
"A Star is Born.
" The copy is all about the Hawaiian legend.
Aloha means hello and goodbye.
I'm sorry, but this is very poetic.
- Thank you.
- Where's our hotel? Where's the Pink Palace and Diamond Head? You got to have Diamond Head in the shot.
Anyone can do that.
I don't agree.
Well, there's no reason we can't tilt the camera up 45 degrees and see the husk of our city dweller on the sand and an arm of the hotel and Diamond Head in the background.
So there would be a man in this photo and he most likely would be naked? Actually, my first thought is there is no man.
Just his footprints.
What happened to him? I think, and I think people might think, that he died.
Maybe he did and he went to heaven.
Maybe that's what this feels like.
- It's a little morbid.
- Well, heaven's a little morbid.
How do you get to heaven? Something terrible has to happen.
We don't want that in the ad.
Of course there's no doubt this concept itself is merely a jumping off the point.
A picture of a hotel, even yours, is easy to ignore.
This, or some version of this, demands your attention.
Well, you will continue to have our attention.
Make no mistake, we're not afraid of provocative.
So is there any time left for holiday plans for either of you? - Happy New Year, everyone.
- You as well.
What's the matter? You didn't get all your vomiting done at my mother's funeral? Roger, I apologize.
I had a bug.
Yeah, well, you didn't miss anything.
Does that make you think of suicide? Of course.
That's what's so great about it.
You know, we sold actual death for 25 years with Lucky Strike.
You know how we did it? We ignored it.
Hold on.
Can I go to Becky's for New Year's Eve? - Talk to your mother.
- Can't you get a sitter? Have your friend come here.
You can bang pots and pans at midnight.
It's a party.
They can't bring the whole party here.
I'll stay until 9:00.
I'll put them to bed.
Hello.
Ask your mother.
We're in here.
So? Anything new? I hate it.
You're ugly.
What happened to you? So? Elizabeth Taylor, what have you done with my wife? You're free until lunch, but I have to tell you something.
Just a minute.
What's that? More bad news.
Giorgio died.
His family sent over his shoeshine kit because you were the only one who called about him.
What happened to him? I didn't ask.
So the secret is to rub the pot with a clove of garlic and then add twice the kirschwasser.
How wonderful that we can just stagger downstairs.
I might just get undressed in the elevator.
I don't know if I can make it to midnight, but I do know we're not leaving here until those kids are in bed.
It's a beautiful fondue pot.
- Where'd you get it? - Bloomingdales.
The kitchen store.
They have everything you could think of.
Not everything.
Tell the story.
Well, there's a guy in my office.
He's very flamboyant and he got arrested there.
- Shoplifting? - No.
But he was caught red-handed.
Apparently the men's room is a locale for a certain kind of assignation and the store detective's always going in there and looking under the stall.
So, my regional sales manager apparently takes two shopping bags, puts his feet in them while the love of his life sat on the john.
That is clever.
How the hell did he get caught? How old are your children? Um, 11 and seven.
Well, I might go kiss them good night.
Ours is a freshman at Michigan.
- He didn't even come home.
- Oh, I'm not ready for that.
The house feels empty.
Then you get a phone bill.
Well, if everybody's had enough cheese, I'm gonna switch to chocolate.
But first, because it looks like it's snowing, I think it's time we all took a trip to Hawaii.
We're having such a good time.
It's all set up.
I want to go to Hawaii.
- Oh! - Ooh.
- Isn't it incredible? - Yeah.
Oh, let me explain.
I woke up in the morning and Don was at a wedding giving away the bride.
That's romantic.
How did that happen? So, of course, Kreutzer's yelling and Ginsberg says, "I'm sorry, but what the hell do I know about ham?" How could they let him near clients? Haven't they learned? Hey, do you think Joan and Roger are still sleeping together? Because his mother croaked and she completely ignored him.
I don't know.
We don't even know if that really ever happened.
I've got pictures in my head.
I'm gonna go grab some coffee.
- You want some? - Very funny.
Hey, I'm not hanging up.
Happy New Year.
Ted.
What are you doing here? I heard there were four people in the office on New Year's Eve.
I figured I owed it to the team to at least stop by.
Oh, I'm just-- there's a-- did you get my message? I received them all.
And I apologize, but it was sort of a retreat for my wife and I and, well, apparently I work too much.
Well, you know the problem.
Yes.
Any solutions? There's one.
I found this thing.
- What is this? - It's an outtake.
He had his headset on and was clowning around.
There's two minutes of it.
Look at this guy.
What a pain in the ass.
I was irritated about it on the day, but now I'm a little excited.
I think you can show him making these faces, with no music, and say something like, "Koss Headphones sound so sharp and clear, you can actually see it.
" It always takes a crisis to sell work this good.
You think it's good? Makes me smile more than the original.
- Do you want to see the new voice-over? - No.
Well, I hope I didn't ruin your evening.
Not mine, but there's people working out there, Peggy.
It's New Year's Eve.
If you knew you had something, you should have let them go.
- They know they can go.
- No, they don't.
Oh.
You're good in a crisis.
Thank you.
Happy New Year.
He likes you.
What did you hear? All of it.
This is Galliano.
It's from Jonesy.
I'm glad he's giving presents to someone else.
I can't stand the constant bootlicking.
He's grateful.
- Cent'anni.
- What does that mean? It's Italian for l'chaim.
It means "100 years.
" What do you think Dave paid for their place? Arnold, don't.
Fine.
Don, what did you pay? Well, you're a floor higher than us.
Jesus.
Syl, did you hear that? Happy New Year.
We missed midnight.
It's 1:00.
We missed it.
It's probably my mother.
Or Dave and Cathy.
Face down in the hall.
Hello? Um, Arnie, it's the service.
Thank you.
Hello? Okay.
All right, tell them I'm on my way.
I've got to go.
I need cigarettes.
I'll walk you down.
It's 1:00 a.
m.
in a snowstorm on a holiday on a Sunday.
You are never gonna get a cab.
Don't even try to talk him out of it.
- These them? - Yeah, you see the boots? What is it like to have someone's life in your hands? Well, it's a privilege and an honor to be trusted with that responsibility.
There they are.
Look at that.
Time to quit smoking.
It's a good resolution.
Well that's one lucky patient.
Honestly, Don, the whole life-and-death thing, it doesn't bother me.
It never has.
Guys like us, that's why we get paid.
- Us? - Fine.
You get paid to think about things they don't want to think about and I get paid to not think about them.
People will do anything to alleviate their anxiety.
Did you read my Dante? It made me think of you.
I don't know how to take that.
It's beautiful.
What do you want for this year? I want to stop doing this.
I know.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.