The Wonder Years s06e02 Episode Script

Ever since there have been fathers and sons There have been father-and-son traditions Rituals that bond man to boy.
And knit boy to man.
In my family, there was one tradition That outranked all others In sheer gross ritual tonnage.
The tri-annualArnold three-day fishing trip.
Got everything? - I think so.
/- Yeah.
- Ah, lemme check.
Every few years, Dad would round up the poles and boots and his old Army tent from the attic And pack us off for a weekend at Berlinger Falls.
Not that we had a choice in the matter.
OK.
Looks like we got it all.
Everybody ready? No.
Yes.
- Right, Dad.
We're ready.
- Good.
Let's get started.
So, that fall of nineteen-seventy-two We headed off for our first expedition since I was twelve.
- I get the front seat.
- I get the front.
Just get in the car! Fine.
Then I get the back seat.
Sucker.
Butthead.
The funny thing isOf all the trips we ever made It's the one I remember most.
Not because it was the bestor the worst - Are we there, yet? /- Wayne - Hey - just asking.
But becauseit was the last.
Berlinger Falls.
Fresh air, trees A suburban outdoorsman's Valhalla.
Where men could kick back in the company of men.
Such as they were.
It was a place where dads could be dads.
And kids could be kids.
Where fathers and sons could share things.
Together.
Three men in a tent.
Trouble was, to get there, first ya had to be Three men in a car.
Gee, Dadyou think you could drive a little bit slower? What are ya talkin' about? I'm drivin' fifty-five.
Whoa Not that bickering in the bucket was anything new to us.
Kevin, I saidTurn down that music.
- Why? /- It's too loud.
- It is not.
Still this time It was clear something had changed.
Something hard to define.
Who thought of this stupid trip, anyway? What's that supposed to mean? Means why are we going? Fortunately, when it came to questionsOf cosmic dimensions The old man was a pro.
Look.
I took a day off, I got you two a day off And now we're goin' fishin'.
And it's all I want to hear.
Understood? Got it.
And, given the circumstances It was probably as good a reason as any.
After allThis was ritual.
This wastradition.
This was Ed's bait shop.
Remember? Hi.
This it? Where's Ed? - Ed? - You knowEd.
Runs this place - nice old guy.
OhHe's dead.
Boating accident.
Couple years ago.
Hmmmm.
Wellsend him our regards, anyway.
SoDoin' a little fishin'.
Yeah.
Fortunately, not in a boat.
We're headin' up to Berlinger Falls - a little secret spot I found.
OhCan't go up there, anymore.
Not by car, anyway.
They closed that road last summer.
The only way in's by foot.
Eight miles.
It was a major setback.
For tradition For memories.
Well We're goin' anyway.
But not for my father.
After all, we were campers Not hikers.
I can't believe this.
Dad, you sure you know what you're doin'? What are ya talkin' about? It's just a few leaves.
Even though it was more like the whole forest.
Ya knowMaybe we oughttascrap this plan.
- Head for home.
What do ya think? - Yeah, I think he's got a point.
Seemed clear to us.
Some things were meant to be some weren't.
Don't be ridiculous.
We've come this farWe're not turnin' back.
But, DadWe don't even know where we are.
Course we do.
I never get lost.
And soThanks to Dad's Built-in compass, and a lot of good luck We finally arrived.
Three hours later.
Well, we're here.
- Oh, good.
- Yeah.
Great.
So? What d'ya think? But what could we say? We'd been Shanghai'd from our bedshauled through the woods and dumped here.
And for what? It's perfect, isn't it? Just like it always was.
And the funny thing is, at that moment Seeing it through Dad's eyessuddenly that stupid little spot didn't seem all that bad.
It's OK.
Not bad.
And, there was only one more thing to say.
Let's get movin'.
Time to make camp.
And so, we set to work.
Carving out our place in the great outdoors.
Following a ritual we'd known since we were kids.
It's funnyBut setting up that old tent Was kinda like Goin' back in time.
And somehow Working like thatwe recaptured something we'd almost forgotten.
Beans.
This is the life, isn't it? Don't worry.
Tomorrow we'll get up early and catch us a mess of fish.
Right? Sure, Dad.
It was great.
Old timesgood times Sittin' around the fireDad and me Skinning Wayne at cards Gin.
What?! It was kinda like finding out your pet hampsterCould do calculus.
- DadPop me a beer, will ya? - Unhhh.
/- Yeah, me too.
What the heyIt was worth a shot.
Never mind.
Ya know I've been thinkin'.
One of these days I'm gonna chuck it all Find us a place to retirelike this.
We could build us a cabin.
Logs maybe.
Wouldn't have to be much.
It was the same old dream Dad had talked about Since I was three years old.
We could come here in April and stay till it snowed.
We could catch fish all summer Live off what we caught.
It was like a litany.
We'd heard it A hundred times before.
Still, that night, for some reason Yeah, but what about your mortgage? What's that gotta do with it? WellDon't ya like owe the bank a pile? Yeah.
I meanis that really practical? I mean, withwhat you make, and everything? Course, looking backour two cents might not have been exactly in the spirit of the moment.
Gin.
'Nother hand, huh? Uh, I don't think so.
Maybe we oughtta hit the hay Yeah, sure! Sure, Dad.
Good call.
After all, if things were a little rough around the fire At least we always had the comfort Of the old tent.
- Hey - Come on - Watch it! /- You watch it.
- You can wait /- Wayne Hey - that's my spot.
You're in my spot.
- OK, OK.
- No Wait! Wait a minute! Let's think this out! What happened? But it wasn't gonna take a genius to figure this one out.
Stated simplywe were thirty-eight square feet of family In thirty-two square feet of tent.
Which added up to one thing.
Who thought of this stupid trip in the first place? Knew we should have stayed in a motel.
Wayne - Ya know, I'm gonna sleep outside.
- No - I'll sleep outside.
NoI'll sleep outside.
And of course, it was the only solution.
And I guess at that moment it was clear The horrible unvarnished truth.
We were caught.
Trappedthree men in a tent.
With no way out.
And not only that Dad.
Yeah.
There's a leak.
The next morning, the clouds had cleared.
By some miracle of physical engineering, we'd made it through the night.
Alive.
And as the sun rose, hope once again sprang full-blown In the Arnold manly breast.
After all This was fishing.
This was tradition.
This was Carnage.
Does anyone have any bug-spray? We ran out an hour ago.
Seemed the only thing biting around here were the mosquitos.
So it was time to fall back.
.
On the oldest technique known to fishermen in times of trouble.
Kevin, ya gotta cast it out furtherif ya wanna catch anything.
Give the other guy advice.
Don't worry about meI know what I'm doin'.
Even though I didn't.
Dad! Dad, I got a bite.
- Ya need any help? - No - I got it.
And I did.
I had it.
The first catch of the day.
Ease 'er in.
Ease 'er in It was big, alright.
Big, mean, tough.
It was TotallyHumiliating.
Personally, I'd throw it back - it's flat.
Nah, keep it - it'll look good on the wall.
Pret-ty fun-ny Hey, Kev! HeyI hear the tires are really bitin' around here.
Shut upButthead.
OK, then.
If that's the way they wanted to play it I could play rough, too.
After all, if I couldn't catch a fish, there was always a chance I might snare myself A hundred-and-forty-pound Large-mouth ass.
Hey, Wayne! Come over here.
I gotta show ya somethin'.
It's really cool.
- Yeah? /- Yeah, ya gotta see it.
- OK - in a second.
Heh-heh.
It was mean.
It was rotten.
It was irresistable.
What is it, Kev? Ya find somethin'? UhNo, Dadit's nothing.
It's for Wayne.
Wayne! No, really - let me take a look.
Uh-oh.
No! Dad! Dad? Dad? I'm really sorry, Dad.
Yeah.
Ya know, it wasn't supposed to happen like that.
Uh-huh.
I hope you're not mad.
Course, this was my father.
He of all men could appreciate the humor in this.
How could you pull a stupid stunt like that? Kevin, someone coulda been hurt! OKI knew what was required, here.
An honest apology.
Straight, simple and heartfelt.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I tried to warn you.
You were there, andThen you weren't.
But maybe it was the lack of sleep Or maybe it was seeing him standing thereIn wet boxer-shorts And, uh I'm alsosorry about losin' your hat.
But, I bet it's caught a lot of fish by now.
It was aweful.
The madder he gotthe funnier it seemed.
And then Hey, you guys! I got a fish - I got a fish! From the brink of annihilation - Get the net! - Get the net.
Suddenly, we knew to a man Exactly why we had come.
It didn't matter that Wayne made the initial strike.
Oh, man - it's a big one! We were all one unit now.
A well-oiled machineWorking in harmony to bring glory to our quest.
Easy, now! - Yes! Yes! - We got it! Man, look at the size of that sucker! Yeah, it must be like a twelve-pounder.
That baby's a fighter! Man, he was strong - I thought it was gonna rip off my arm! Finally, we had what we'd been waiting for.
Something we could tell our grandchildren about.
The day we caught thirty-pounder.
Together.
I don't believe it.
Beans again.
Let's face it.
We were failures.
As campers As anglers As men.
Well, I knowwhy don't we cook up Kevin's catch? Nothing like the taste ofbarbeque steel-belted radial.
Or how aboutfillet of Firestone? Not to mention stand-up comedians.
Very funny.
I hope you're all enjoying yourselves.
Because I wasn't.
I was fed up.
WhoaWhere are you goin'? - I'm gettin' a beer.
- Kevin DadI'm tired, I'm hot, and I'm sick of soda.
So I'm havin' a beer, OK? And there it was A challenge even Dad couldn't ignore.
Ya know Maybe the problem is, we've been using the wrong lures.
The stuff ya buy in the stores is no damn good.
Tell ya somethin' When I get my place up here, things are gonna be different.
I couldn't believe it.
I was trying my best to assert my manhood And this guy was ignoring me Like I was a little kid.
And I wasn't gonna take it anymore.
- Get off it, Dad.
Will ya? - What? All this stuff about building a cabin.
You're never moving up here.
Not in a million years.
I see.
It was possibly the meanest thing I'd ever said to the man.
But right then, I didn't care.
The way I saw itturn-about was fair play.
I don't believe it! That was great! Hey, Kev - this Bud's on you! Get your hands off me.
- Oh, why don't ya make me, scrote? - I'm warning you, Wayne.
Oh, I'm tremblin'.
Wayne That's enough.
What's the matter with you two? I bring ya all the way up here to fishand all ya do is fight! Honest to God, why can't we all just try andget along, the way we used to? But the thing was I don't think we could tell him, any more than he could tell us.
Hey.
There's foam on your head.
That's it.
Hey! Break it up! Knock it off! And that's when it happened.
- Break it up Things got a little - Dad! Out of hand.
Dad! It was eighteen years of memories.
And there was nothing we could dobut stand there.
And watch.
Need any help? Nah I wasn't sure quite what to say.
I wanted to make things right, but I knew I couldn't.
Sorry about the tent.
It's OK But I knew he was lying.
I knew Wayne and IHad let him down.
We'd gotten older.
And the sad thing wasit was nobody's fault.
Why'd we come on this stupid trip anyway? Wellwe planned it.
You got a day off, and You got us a day off, so We came.
Besides It's only Saturday.
Let's stay up here till tomorrow.
Where're we gonna sleep? Maybe the hardest part of growing up Is having those you always counted on Look to you.
I don't know.
We'll think of somethin'.
Come on.
We'll see what happens, OK? After allWe'd come this far.
No sense turning back, now.
"Fishin' Blues" - Taj Mahal We fished the rest of that day.
¢ÜBetcha goin' fishin' all of your time¢Ü ¢ÜBaby's goin' fishing too¢Ü We didn't catch much ¢ÜBet your life, your sweet life¢Ü Dad said he'd like to move up here, and open a bait shop.
¢ÜCatch more fish than you¢Ü I told him it was a great idea.
¢ÜMany fish bites if ya got good bait¢Ü I think he believed me.
¢ÜHere's a little tip I would like to relate¢Ü And in the end ¢ÜBig fish bites if ya got a good bait¢Ü I guess we finally figured out why we'd come here in the first place.
¢ÜI 'a goin' fishin' Yes I'm goin' fishin'¢Ü We'd cometo say goodbye.
¢ÜAnd my baby's goin' fishin' too I went on down to my favorite fishin' hole¢Ü ¢ÜBaby grabbed me a pole and line¢Ü ¢ÜThrow my pole on in¢Ü ¢ÜCaught a nine pound catfish¢Ü °¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù.