Younger (2015) s06e02 Episode Script
Flush with Love
1 [UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Nice pantsuit.
Did your funeral director's license finally come through? Ha-ha.
Everyone at work now knows that I'm the assistant Charles was having the affair with, so I don't want them to look at me and think, "sex, sex, sex.
" Well, mission accomplished.
Hey, did you get one of these? "Even though we're all post-gender, "we're not post-gender-reveal.
"Come find out if the baby's a girl, a boy, or TBD this Saturday.
" Oh, how fun.
Yeah, I still don't trust that Clare.
Well, you certainly liked her mother.
That was missionary work.
You know, you visit the natives, you show them the way to heaven Well, we're going.
I like Clare now.
And Josh is happy.
Happy and scared.
This is a big change.
Yeah, well, speaking of change, that pussy-bow needs to go.
I mean, you look like Nancy Pelosi on the bottom and Melania Trump on top.
Oh, that's no fun for anyone.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Uh-huh Gotta be, you gotta be a good girl [GROANS.]
Thank you so much for meeting me here.
I didn't know who else to call.
Like, Clare sent me that list.
I don't know what any of these words mean.
Do you know what a Diaper Genius is? [LAUGHS.]
It's Genie.
And you need one.
It makes sort of like a long sausage-y thing out of dirty diapers.
What? And that's a good thing? - Like, I want that? - [LAUGHS.]
They didn't have half of these things when Caitlin was born.
She survived without a wipes warmer, although I kinda think she holds it against me.
Oh, crib bumpers, no.
They may use those in Ireland but we don't use those over here.
Suffocation.
- Oh, wow.
- Isn't this fun? Yeah! - Suffocation and diaper sausages.
- [LAUGHS.]
Anything else I should be worried about? Oh, don't freak out about the soft spot.
When they cry, it pulses, but it closes after three months.
I I don't understand why it comes out before it's completely assembled.
Oh, that's not the worst part.
The umbilical scab? Oh, my God.
I was so happy when that thing fell off.
Oh, gripe water.
This is really good for nausea.
Oh, my God.
[LAUGHS.]
Josh.
It's gonna be here in two weeks.
I mean, this is all really happening.
I don't know if I'm ready for this.
You won't be ready for anything the rest of its life.
- [GROANS.]
- But you're Josh.
You'll roll with it.
You're lucky that way.
No, this kid is lucky.
So lucky to have you as a dad.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
I gotta get back to work.
- Okay.
- Okay, uh, this, not that.
- Three of these.
- Mm.
Um, everything else is fine, except no mobile.
You'll hit your head on it every time you lean in for a kiss.
Huh.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Hey, thanks.
You got it.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
So we sent the book out to readers from some of your target demos and we got some very strong data.
Um, I have a report here if you'd like I'm sorry, I've been in publishing for 20 years.
Since when do we use focus groups to vet our authors? Since I'm the publisher.
And this is my first release, it needs to be the right one.
And I think "CLAW" still needs more work, and Quinn has been very resistant to my suggestions.
Oh, look at you two.
Acting like you have a choice.
We work for her now.
So we are happy no, thrilled to debut with her book.
Okay, so, the highlight reel.
- I think this is so smart.
- Me too.
I hated it.
It is so offensive to women.
Who wrote this? It's insane.
And I'm from Florida so, like, I know.
It's Machiavellian, it's inhuman.
I hate this book and I hate the people who are giving this woman a voice.
It made my shingles flare up.
I'd just like to un-read it.
Please, is there is there some way to un-read something? - Wow.
- So what I heard is that there are strong reactions.
Which is good.
Or it could be good.
[QUIRKY MUSIC.]
Our bill.
Bye-bye.
I'm so sorry, Kels.
I have tried to get Quinn to soften the tone, but she she rejected every edit.
[CHUCKLES.]
How am I supposed to tell the woman who gave me my job that her book sucks? - [SIGHS.]
- How? Oof, that is a toughie.
But you are the publisher now.
So good luck.
Well, she looks like she's in a good mood.
Yeah, I'll take care of that.
- Hi, Quinn.
- Sorry I'm late, girls.
I know I'm not supposed to say "girls" anymore, but who gives a champagne.
- Yes.
- This is gonna be fun.
I wanted you to know how much I appreciate your support and Yeah, me first.
I got a little something for you two.
Oh.
- [GASPS.]
- Oh, my God! There's only 20 in there, the rest are at your office.
I hope I got your titles right.
Publisher.
Editor.
It's so heavy.
I-is this gold? Yeah.
I know it's silly.
Nobody uses business cards anymore, but publishing is so uncertain.
It's good to have something you can take with you if you have to, you know, leave suddenly.
Poor Charles.
Anyway, uh, Liza said that you had something you wanted to talk to me about, Kelsey? I am all ears.
Yeah, well, we were talking and we think that we should hold "CLAW" for the spring.
There's just a little bit of work that can be done - on the tone of the book.
- Yeah.
In today's climate, you know, it can skew a little anti-woman.
Yeah, I like that.
It's controversial.
I'm the writer, you're the publisher.
Let's just both do our jobs.
And I'm your editor.
So I have to say, it's a give-and-take collaboration.
If a writer doesn't wanna take notes, then they might as well self-publish.
Yeah, I think I'm kind of doing that.
Do you remember when I saved your company and then I made you publisher? I cheered you on.
Now it's your turn to cheer me.
[BANGING ON TABLE.]
And I really am grateful for that, Quinn, um it just it doesn't really work like that.
What's happening? State cheerleading champs, 1998.
My first big win.
I do think you tried to cut this from the book.
Uh, yeah, there was there was a lot of high school stuff in there, Quinn.
[CHANTING.]
Guess who wrote a masterpiece.
You repeat after me, that's how a chant works, right? Guess who wrote a masterpiece.
[BANGING ON TABLE.]
Guess who wrote a masterpiece.
Take it, Big K! Big K.
[TOGETHER, RHYTHMICALLY.]
Guess who wrote a masterpiece.
It will be our first release! It will be our first release.
[TOGETHER.]
It will be our first release.
Right, but now like you're not terrified.
ALL: It will be our first release! Guess who wrote a masterpiece! It will be our first release! - Yeah! - Isn't this fun? - Yeah! - So fun.
Are you crying? What the hell was that? Chapter three of "CLAW.
" Charm and Disarm.
It's not about what she did.
It's about what I didn't do.
If I can't stand up to Quinn, how the hell am I supposed to do this job? I'm just a name on a card.
- No, Kelsey, you're not.
- Oh, my God.
I'm screwed.
Face it, Liza, we're both screwed.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
I'm a genius.
Absolutely.
Why? I mean, uh, what's that? It's the book we publish first, before "CLAW.
" But it's a screenplay.
It's the movie that Reese Witherspoon's company is producing.
I had breakfast with her development exec, and I convinced her that it would be a great novel, which it would.
It's sexy and it's millennial and it's set in the fashion world.
It's perfect.
And if we publish it now, before the movie comes out, Reese is gonna be promoting the hell out of it.
Reverse-engineer a novel from a screenplay.
- Yes.
- But that takes time.
- We need a writer.
- We have one.
The screenwriter.
She's already written a sample chapter and it's great.
We can have this thing out in a month.
And how can Quinn say no? She loves Reese.
Everybody loves Reese.
I can bump Quinn's book, look like a hero, and keep my job.
She wouldn't fire you for making a hard decision, Kelsey.
Well, now we never have to find out.
What are you waiting for? Read.
Read, read, read.
Before tonight.
Okay.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Wow.
Waiting for a drink like the rest of us? Don't you host committee members have a private room somewhere? I didn't even know I was co-hosting this event.
Everybody on that list has been in publishing forever.
I do not belong here.
You're standing in front of a bar.
You never belonged anywhere more in your life.
Here, have mine.
[GIGGLES.]
Wow, tough day.
Tough week.
But a good day.
I had a little breakthrough at work.
And it's nice to see a friendly face.
Actually, that's what I want to talk to you about.
I don't wanna be friends with you anymore.
It's, uh, too difficult.
Because I have a job and you're not working? That is so Not friends.
You mean I mean Oh, my God, you got a job.
Let's just say things are looking up.
Our first time out as a couple.
I feel a little Eliza Doolittle-y at the moment.
Too bad Professor Higgins still has to pretend you're 28.
I know, it's not what we planned.
Diva, Enzo, hi.
Okay, oh, my God, I was just schmoozing the editor of "Modern Romance" yes, the "Modern Romance," and I think we should submit your story.
What what story? Your love story, come on.
The photo of you two embracing, fresh out of the sewer, dripping with America's digested bounty.
It's gone viral.
[LAUGHS.]
It's a story as old as time but fresh as this morning's flush.
Wait, the paper would run our story? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
It's just like Romeo and Juliet, if Romeo smelled a little bit and there was poop in Juliet's ear.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Absolutely not.
We are not doing that.
What's that all about? Diana is giving us the cold shoulder.
She's still prickly about me and you.
I think she's hurt I didn't confide in her.
You're taking some bullets meant for me.
Come on, I should've done this sooner.
[SIGHS.]
Hello, Charles, Liza.
You remember Enzo? Having, uh, fun? Diana, you and I both know that I owe you an apology.
Well, uh, if pressed, some might say that leaving a place we worked together for 20 years without a word, and carrying on an affair with my assistant right under my nose, could merit some form of apology.
I can't apologize for falling in love with Liza.
But you are right.
You should've been the first person I told that I was leaving.
You have been by my side, making tough decisions with me, and I owed you that, and more.
Charles.
I guess I just always hoped that maybe one day you and I Would run the company together.
[LAUGHS.]
So.
Well, unfortunately, Quinn wanted a millennial as the face of the company.
Oh, so it wasn't your decision? Uh, no.
So what I'm hearing is that if it were up to you, I'd be running Millennial.
That's not exactly what I was saying.
Well, that's what I heard, so why don't we just leave it at that? It's so good to be on the same page, Charles.
Like it's always been.
Do I see a dance floor over there? Have fun, you two.
She seems better.
Is that what you think? About Kelsey only getting the job because she's a millennial? No.
Of course not.
She is capable and smart.
I knew that years ago when I gave her the imprint.
If anything, her youth is against her.
What does that mean? Experience means something.
Kelsey will do a great job.
- She'll get there.
- She's already there.
You should've seen her today.
Quinn's book isn't ready and she's pressuring us to make "CLAW" our first release.
But Kelsey came up with a plan to block her with a project from Reese's company.
It was great thinking, on the spot.
You would've been so proud of her.
What? I would've done it differently.
Any time there is a regime change, you take out the trash first.
If it bombs, it doesn't hurt you.
They blame the old regime.
Second book is bad? That'll stick to you.
But you know what? Maybe it'll work.
We good? We're good.
Charles as good as said he'd pick me.
I knew it, I knew it.
We have this this connection.
We're like two bodies, one mind.
That doesn't sound like quite enough mind.
[LAUGHS.]
Life is funny, isn't it? I mean, he's the guy I always thought I'd end up with.
It's ironic.
You had a crush on Charles? [LAUGHS.]
I'm just saying life is funny.
You know? I I always thought I'd end up with someone like him.
Cultured, sophisticated, man of the world, you know Life had other plans.
And I'm with you.
What? I'm just I'm never gonna be enough for you, am I? And even if I were, you're in love with someone else.
Enzo, come on, I'm just saying that I'm a realist, not a romantic.
No.
No, what you're saying is you're settling.
And you know what? Maybe I am too.
For someone who is just taking what she could get.
[SOMBER POP MUSIC.]
But Enzo, I Good night, Diana.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Knock-knock.
Hi.
I'm here to do your kills from the publicity photos at the literacy event last night.
Uh, let's see.
Kill, kill.
Ooh, little pooch there.
Ooh, neck, no.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God, Enzo looks gorge in a tux, though! I mean you guys really are the couple.
Look at that.
We were, perhaps.
We're not together anymore.
Oh, my God, Diana, that is awful.
I mean no I mean it's awful that, um, everyone thinks they gotta be boo'd up all the time.
You know, at least you and I can do the bars now together.
Once I edit your look.
Ooh, I better call the paper and kill the "Modern Romance" story.
I thought I told you I didn't want to do that.
I will call them myself.
Okay, great.
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
What does that mean, "taking out the trash?" Well, there's something to be said for pushing "CLAW" out now and moving on.
And Charles says we can blame him for it.
And it won't stick to us.
Wait, you discussed this with Charles? So you're running my decisions past him? No, I was just talking about our day and how Quinn can be so tricky to handle and And how I'm out of my depth? That's what you think.
I mean you and I both know that I choked at dinner with Quinn the other night.
Well, I wasn't strong enough with her either.
She walked all over me with the edits.
So I'm not strong enough? Well, lucky for me, you two just gave me all the strength that I need.
- Kelsey.
- Set up a dinner with Quinn.
Just her and me.
That's all.
[SIGHS.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
You can't push my book to the spring.
It's tied to my campaign.
I'm sorry, what? Look, between you and me, I'm running for Senate.
California.
I wish you were registered there.
Maybe we can arrange that.
Okay, anyway, "CLAW" is going to introduce me, and soon, as a strong, independent voice.
Wow.
- Congratulations, Quinn.
- Thank you.
But that doesn't concern me.
I have a campaign too, and that is to make sure that every book that comes out of Millennial is the best that it can possibly be.
And frankly, "CLAW" isn't there.
- [SCOFFS.]
- That's my decision and I'm afraid it's final.
I admire that.
Speaking your truth to power.
Even if power still wins.
You have a seat on the board, Quinn.
Board members don't tell publishers what to do.
Oh, Kelsey.
Don't make an enemy so soon in what could be a very long career.
Okay.
Publish "CLAW" now, and if it's a flop, like you think it's going to be, you will never hear from me again.
But it's gonna be a big hit.
I don't think it will be.
Look, this is a win-win for you, Kelsey.
If you just get your ego out of the way.
If it fails, I will be out of your life forever.
If it's a hit You're gonna look like a genius publisher from day one.
That's a good deal.
You're a writer, Quinn.
Put it in writing.
If "CLAW" fails, you go.
Baller move.
I like you, Kelsey.
Awesome.
You've become quite the chef.
Oh, yeah, I really, uh Mastered the Postmates app.
[LAUGHS.]
I think I might wanna branch out to other cuisines, though.
Seamless.
- Uber Eats.
- [LAUGHS.]
How did work go today? What did you guys decide to do with Quinn's book? Actually, Charles, I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk about Millennial.
I don't want Kelsey thinking I'm back-channeling with you.
We need a what's it called? A Chinese wall between us.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Uh, you don't tell me about your day and I won't tell you about my day.
So don't ask for details about the kids' movie tomorrow.
Apparently there, um, is a puppy and a mermaid, - and they both - [SIGHS.]
Get lost in space.
That's all you get.
Well, that's not all you get.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Falling in love completely Hi, welcome.
Signature cocktail? It's an Epidura-tini.
Smooth as a spinal block, but with lime.
Ah, fabulous.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Enjoy.
Peace offering.
I laid down some ground rules.
I won't talk about the business when I'm with him and he won't ask.
That's good.
But we're still gonna publish Quinn's book first.
I can't fight with her and Charles.
And I don't want to fight with you.
Well, if you fight with me, I'm on your side, so I'll take me down.
Come on, you survived your first week.
- Let's celebrate! - Okay.
Oh! Ladies and gentlemen and non-binaries.
Hi, can I have your attention, please? Okay, the sealed envelope from the doctor has gone to the balloon company and they filled that gold balloon on top with either pink confetti or blue.
Okay, now, Josh, as the male, you have the honor of penetrating the yielding softness of that balloon with your golden phallus.
[LAUGHTER.]
I.
e.
, this safety pin right here, okay? So, Liza, get the balloons, please.
- [CLICKS TONGUE.]
- Please gather.
All right, let's do this in T-minus ten, nine ALL: Eight, seven, six - Let me help you.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- It's just trapped.
- Oh, I got it.
[SCREAMING.]
- Oh, my God, no! - No, no, no, no.
- No! - Come back.
I am so sorry, can we call the balloon company? You don't wanna have to wait two weeks, do you? [GASPS.]
Uh, guys.
I don't think I'm gonna have to.
[LAUGHS.]
What? I think the baby's coming.
- Now? - Now.
Now, I mean like, right now.
Oh, my God! Uh, okay, will somebody please call a car? Two minutes! Yes.
[SCREAMING.]
- [SCREAMS.]
- Three more minutes, just hang on.
Shouldn't somebody else be in the splash zone? Maggie.
You and I are the only two women on the planet who've been inside my mother.
[GASPS.]
We're bonded! Oh, whoa, whoa, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it's coming for me.
Hey, hey, hey, remember your breathing? - Right, deep breaths.
- Not helping.
I need to push.
- BOTH: No, don't push! - Do not push.
No baby in my Uber! Too late.
[SCREAMS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, wow! There goes my five-star rating.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Yo, Enzo.
You see this? There's that picture again.
And some article about love.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Get out of here.
The hell am I paying you for? Okay, loverboy.
[LAUGHS.]
"Flush With Love"? What the "Dreams we have as a child, dreams we pack" in a box for college.
Dreams you unpack when you move into your first apartment.
Who you'll meet, where you'll work, who you'll fall in love with.
Think you have it all figured out? Life has better ideas.
A bigger imagination takes bigger chances than someone like me, a year ago.
Moving through her forties in a cloud of old ideas.
Life gives you more than you thought, but maybe not in the package you expected.
Liza.
If you call out, if you call out If you call out, I will find you If you call out, if you call out It's deeper than that.
It's what you need underneath the want.
It gives you what you can't breathe without.
Did you mean this? - Yes.
- Even this part? Where you say you're not looking for the man of your dreams? That what you care about now is the man at night sleeping next to you, dreaming? Yes.
I mean it.
Every word.
[CHUCKLES.]
Get over here.
You get over here.
[LAUGHS.]
So go ahead and plan.
Just know, when all your scheming and planning, and hoping is done, life plans back.
Hi.
Everything okay? Yeah.
Baby girl.
- Hmm.
- They're happy.
Good for them.
Me too.
You? Yeah.
Me too.
This is love You owe it a try If you call out, if you call out
Nice pantsuit.
Did your funeral director's license finally come through? Ha-ha.
Everyone at work now knows that I'm the assistant Charles was having the affair with, so I don't want them to look at me and think, "sex, sex, sex.
" Well, mission accomplished.
Hey, did you get one of these? "Even though we're all post-gender, "we're not post-gender-reveal.
"Come find out if the baby's a girl, a boy, or TBD this Saturday.
" Oh, how fun.
Yeah, I still don't trust that Clare.
Well, you certainly liked her mother.
That was missionary work.
You know, you visit the natives, you show them the way to heaven Well, we're going.
I like Clare now.
And Josh is happy.
Happy and scared.
This is a big change.
Yeah, well, speaking of change, that pussy-bow needs to go.
I mean, you look like Nancy Pelosi on the bottom and Melania Trump on top.
Oh, that's no fun for anyone.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Uh-huh Gotta be, you gotta be a good girl [GROANS.]
Thank you so much for meeting me here.
I didn't know who else to call.
Like, Clare sent me that list.
I don't know what any of these words mean.
Do you know what a Diaper Genius is? [LAUGHS.]
It's Genie.
And you need one.
It makes sort of like a long sausage-y thing out of dirty diapers.
What? And that's a good thing? - Like, I want that? - [LAUGHS.]
They didn't have half of these things when Caitlin was born.
She survived without a wipes warmer, although I kinda think she holds it against me.
Oh, crib bumpers, no.
They may use those in Ireland but we don't use those over here.
Suffocation.
- Oh, wow.
- Isn't this fun? Yeah! - Suffocation and diaper sausages.
- [LAUGHS.]
Anything else I should be worried about? Oh, don't freak out about the soft spot.
When they cry, it pulses, but it closes after three months.
I I don't understand why it comes out before it's completely assembled.
Oh, that's not the worst part.
The umbilical scab? Oh, my God.
I was so happy when that thing fell off.
Oh, gripe water.
This is really good for nausea.
Oh, my God.
[LAUGHS.]
Josh.
It's gonna be here in two weeks.
I mean, this is all really happening.
I don't know if I'm ready for this.
You won't be ready for anything the rest of its life.
- [GROANS.]
- But you're Josh.
You'll roll with it.
You're lucky that way.
No, this kid is lucky.
So lucky to have you as a dad.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
I gotta get back to work.
- Okay.
- Okay, uh, this, not that.
- Three of these.
- Mm.
Um, everything else is fine, except no mobile.
You'll hit your head on it every time you lean in for a kiss.
Huh.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Hey, thanks.
You got it.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
So we sent the book out to readers from some of your target demos and we got some very strong data.
Um, I have a report here if you'd like I'm sorry, I've been in publishing for 20 years.
Since when do we use focus groups to vet our authors? Since I'm the publisher.
And this is my first release, it needs to be the right one.
And I think "CLAW" still needs more work, and Quinn has been very resistant to my suggestions.
Oh, look at you two.
Acting like you have a choice.
We work for her now.
So we are happy no, thrilled to debut with her book.
Okay, so, the highlight reel.
- I think this is so smart.
- Me too.
I hated it.
It is so offensive to women.
Who wrote this? It's insane.
And I'm from Florida so, like, I know.
It's Machiavellian, it's inhuman.
I hate this book and I hate the people who are giving this woman a voice.
It made my shingles flare up.
I'd just like to un-read it.
Please, is there is there some way to un-read something? - Wow.
- So what I heard is that there are strong reactions.
Which is good.
Or it could be good.
[QUIRKY MUSIC.]
Our bill.
Bye-bye.
I'm so sorry, Kels.
I have tried to get Quinn to soften the tone, but she she rejected every edit.
[CHUCKLES.]
How am I supposed to tell the woman who gave me my job that her book sucks? - [SIGHS.]
- How? Oof, that is a toughie.
But you are the publisher now.
So good luck.
Well, she looks like she's in a good mood.
Yeah, I'll take care of that.
- Hi, Quinn.
- Sorry I'm late, girls.
I know I'm not supposed to say "girls" anymore, but who gives a champagne.
- Yes.
- This is gonna be fun.
I wanted you to know how much I appreciate your support and Yeah, me first.
I got a little something for you two.
Oh.
- [GASPS.]
- Oh, my God! There's only 20 in there, the rest are at your office.
I hope I got your titles right.
Publisher.
Editor.
It's so heavy.
I-is this gold? Yeah.
I know it's silly.
Nobody uses business cards anymore, but publishing is so uncertain.
It's good to have something you can take with you if you have to, you know, leave suddenly.
Poor Charles.
Anyway, uh, Liza said that you had something you wanted to talk to me about, Kelsey? I am all ears.
Yeah, well, we were talking and we think that we should hold "CLAW" for the spring.
There's just a little bit of work that can be done - on the tone of the book.
- Yeah.
In today's climate, you know, it can skew a little anti-woman.
Yeah, I like that.
It's controversial.
I'm the writer, you're the publisher.
Let's just both do our jobs.
And I'm your editor.
So I have to say, it's a give-and-take collaboration.
If a writer doesn't wanna take notes, then they might as well self-publish.
Yeah, I think I'm kind of doing that.
Do you remember when I saved your company and then I made you publisher? I cheered you on.
Now it's your turn to cheer me.
[BANGING ON TABLE.]
And I really am grateful for that, Quinn, um it just it doesn't really work like that.
What's happening? State cheerleading champs, 1998.
My first big win.
I do think you tried to cut this from the book.
Uh, yeah, there was there was a lot of high school stuff in there, Quinn.
[CHANTING.]
Guess who wrote a masterpiece.
You repeat after me, that's how a chant works, right? Guess who wrote a masterpiece.
[BANGING ON TABLE.]
Guess who wrote a masterpiece.
Take it, Big K! Big K.
[TOGETHER, RHYTHMICALLY.]
Guess who wrote a masterpiece.
It will be our first release! It will be our first release.
[TOGETHER.]
It will be our first release.
Right, but now like you're not terrified.
ALL: It will be our first release! Guess who wrote a masterpiece! It will be our first release! - Yeah! - Isn't this fun? - Yeah! - So fun.
Are you crying? What the hell was that? Chapter three of "CLAW.
" Charm and Disarm.
It's not about what she did.
It's about what I didn't do.
If I can't stand up to Quinn, how the hell am I supposed to do this job? I'm just a name on a card.
- No, Kelsey, you're not.
- Oh, my God.
I'm screwed.
Face it, Liza, we're both screwed.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
I'm a genius.
Absolutely.
Why? I mean, uh, what's that? It's the book we publish first, before "CLAW.
" But it's a screenplay.
It's the movie that Reese Witherspoon's company is producing.
I had breakfast with her development exec, and I convinced her that it would be a great novel, which it would.
It's sexy and it's millennial and it's set in the fashion world.
It's perfect.
And if we publish it now, before the movie comes out, Reese is gonna be promoting the hell out of it.
Reverse-engineer a novel from a screenplay.
- Yes.
- But that takes time.
- We need a writer.
- We have one.
The screenwriter.
She's already written a sample chapter and it's great.
We can have this thing out in a month.
And how can Quinn say no? She loves Reese.
Everybody loves Reese.
I can bump Quinn's book, look like a hero, and keep my job.
She wouldn't fire you for making a hard decision, Kelsey.
Well, now we never have to find out.
What are you waiting for? Read.
Read, read, read.
Before tonight.
Okay.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Wow.
Waiting for a drink like the rest of us? Don't you host committee members have a private room somewhere? I didn't even know I was co-hosting this event.
Everybody on that list has been in publishing forever.
I do not belong here.
You're standing in front of a bar.
You never belonged anywhere more in your life.
Here, have mine.
[GIGGLES.]
Wow, tough day.
Tough week.
But a good day.
I had a little breakthrough at work.
And it's nice to see a friendly face.
Actually, that's what I want to talk to you about.
I don't wanna be friends with you anymore.
It's, uh, too difficult.
Because I have a job and you're not working? That is so Not friends.
You mean I mean Oh, my God, you got a job.
Let's just say things are looking up.
Our first time out as a couple.
I feel a little Eliza Doolittle-y at the moment.
Too bad Professor Higgins still has to pretend you're 28.
I know, it's not what we planned.
Diva, Enzo, hi.
Okay, oh, my God, I was just schmoozing the editor of "Modern Romance" yes, the "Modern Romance," and I think we should submit your story.
What what story? Your love story, come on.
The photo of you two embracing, fresh out of the sewer, dripping with America's digested bounty.
It's gone viral.
[LAUGHS.]
It's a story as old as time but fresh as this morning's flush.
Wait, the paper would run our story? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
It's just like Romeo and Juliet, if Romeo smelled a little bit and there was poop in Juliet's ear.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Absolutely not.
We are not doing that.
What's that all about? Diana is giving us the cold shoulder.
She's still prickly about me and you.
I think she's hurt I didn't confide in her.
You're taking some bullets meant for me.
Come on, I should've done this sooner.
[SIGHS.]
Hello, Charles, Liza.
You remember Enzo? Having, uh, fun? Diana, you and I both know that I owe you an apology.
Well, uh, if pressed, some might say that leaving a place we worked together for 20 years without a word, and carrying on an affair with my assistant right under my nose, could merit some form of apology.
I can't apologize for falling in love with Liza.
But you are right.
You should've been the first person I told that I was leaving.
You have been by my side, making tough decisions with me, and I owed you that, and more.
Charles.
I guess I just always hoped that maybe one day you and I Would run the company together.
[LAUGHS.]
So.
Well, unfortunately, Quinn wanted a millennial as the face of the company.
Oh, so it wasn't your decision? Uh, no.
So what I'm hearing is that if it were up to you, I'd be running Millennial.
That's not exactly what I was saying.
Well, that's what I heard, so why don't we just leave it at that? It's so good to be on the same page, Charles.
Like it's always been.
Do I see a dance floor over there? Have fun, you two.
She seems better.
Is that what you think? About Kelsey only getting the job because she's a millennial? No.
Of course not.
She is capable and smart.
I knew that years ago when I gave her the imprint.
If anything, her youth is against her.
What does that mean? Experience means something.
Kelsey will do a great job.
- She'll get there.
- She's already there.
You should've seen her today.
Quinn's book isn't ready and she's pressuring us to make "CLAW" our first release.
But Kelsey came up with a plan to block her with a project from Reese's company.
It was great thinking, on the spot.
You would've been so proud of her.
What? I would've done it differently.
Any time there is a regime change, you take out the trash first.
If it bombs, it doesn't hurt you.
They blame the old regime.
Second book is bad? That'll stick to you.
But you know what? Maybe it'll work.
We good? We're good.
Charles as good as said he'd pick me.
I knew it, I knew it.
We have this this connection.
We're like two bodies, one mind.
That doesn't sound like quite enough mind.
[LAUGHS.]
Life is funny, isn't it? I mean, he's the guy I always thought I'd end up with.
It's ironic.
You had a crush on Charles? [LAUGHS.]
I'm just saying life is funny.
You know? I I always thought I'd end up with someone like him.
Cultured, sophisticated, man of the world, you know Life had other plans.
And I'm with you.
What? I'm just I'm never gonna be enough for you, am I? And even if I were, you're in love with someone else.
Enzo, come on, I'm just saying that I'm a realist, not a romantic.
No.
No, what you're saying is you're settling.
And you know what? Maybe I am too.
For someone who is just taking what she could get.
[SOMBER POP MUSIC.]
But Enzo, I Good night, Diana.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Knock-knock.
Hi.
I'm here to do your kills from the publicity photos at the literacy event last night.
Uh, let's see.
Kill, kill.
Ooh, little pooch there.
Ooh, neck, no.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God, Enzo looks gorge in a tux, though! I mean you guys really are the couple.
Look at that.
We were, perhaps.
We're not together anymore.
Oh, my God, Diana, that is awful.
I mean no I mean it's awful that, um, everyone thinks they gotta be boo'd up all the time.
You know, at least you and I can do the bars now together.
Once I edit your look.
Ooh, I better call the paper and kill the "Modern Romance" story.
I thought I told you I didn't want to do that.
I will call them myself.
Okay, great.
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
What does that mean, "taking out the trash?" Well, there's something to be said for pushing "CLAW" out now and moving on.
And Charles says we can blame him for it.
And it won't stick to us.
Wait, you discussed this with Charles? So you're running my decisions past him? No, I was just talking about our day and how Quinn can be so tricky to handle and And how I'm out of my depth? That's what you think.
I mean you and I both know that I choked at dinner with Quinn the other night.
Well, I wasn't strong enough with her either.
She walked all over me with the edits.
So I'm not strong enough? Well, lucky for me, you two just gave me all the strength that I need.
- Kelsey.
- Set up a dinner with Quinn.
Just her and me.
That's all.
[SIGHS.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
You can't push my book to the spring.
It's tied to my campaign.
I'm sorry, what? Look, between you and me, I'm running for Senate.
California.
I wish you were registered there.
Maybe we can arrange that.
Okay, anyway, "CLAW" is going to introduce me, and soon, as a strong, independent voice.
Wow.
- Congratulations, Quinn.
- Thank you.
But that doesn't concern me.
I have a campaign too, and that is to make sure that every book that comes out of Millennial is the best that it can possibly be.
And frankly, "CLAW" isn't there.
- [SCOFFS.]
- That's my decision and I'm afraid it's final.
I admire that.
Speaking your truth to power.
Even if power still wins.
You have a seat on the board, Quinn.
Board members don't tell publishers what to do.
Oh, Kelsey.
Don't make an enemy so soon in what could be a very long career.
Okay.
Publish "CLAW" now, and if it's a flop, like you think it's going to be, you will never hear from me again.
But it's gonna be a big hit.
I don't think it will be.
Look, this is a win-win for you, Kelsey.
If you just get your ego out of the way.
If it fails, I will be out of your life forever.
If it's a hit You're gonna look like a genius publisher from day one.
That's a good deal.
You're a writer, Quinn.
Put it in writing.
If "CLAW" fails, you go.
Baller move.
I like you, Kelsey.
Awesome.
You've become quite the chef.
Oh, yeah, I really, uh Mastered the Postmates app.
[LAUGHS.]
I think I might wanna branch out to other cuisines, though.
Seamless.
- Uber Eats.
- [LAUGHS.]
How did work go today? What did you guys decide to do with Quinn's book? Actually, Charles, I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk about Millennial.
I don't want Kelsey thinking I'm back-channeling with you.
We need a what's it called? A Chinese wall between us.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Uh, you don't tell me about your day and I won't tell you about my day.
So don't ask for details about the kids' movie tomorrow.
Apparently there, um, is a puppy and a mermaid, - and they both - [SIGHS.]
Get lost in space.
That's all you get.
Well, that's not all you get.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Falling in love completely Hi, welcome.
Signature cocktail? It's an Epidura-tini.
Smooth as a spinal block, but with lime.
Ah, fabulous.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Enjoy.
Peace offering.
I laid down some ground rules.
I won't talk about the business when I'm with him and he won't ask.
That's good.
But we're still gonna publish Quinn's book first.
I can't fight with her and Charles.
And I don't want to fight with you.
Well, if you fight with me, I'm on your side, so I'll take me down.
Come on, you survived your first week.
- Let's celebrate! - Okay.
Oh! Ladies and gentlemen and non-binaries.
Hi, can I have your attention, please? Okay, the sealed envelope from the doctor has gone to the balloon company and they filled that gold balloon on top with either pink confetti or blue.
Okay, now, Josh, as the male, you have the honor of penetrating the yielding softness of that balloon with your golden phallus.
[LAUGHTER.]
I.
e.
, this safety pin right here, okay? So, Liza, get the balloons, please.
- [CLICKS TONGUE.]
- Please gather.
All right, let's do this in T-minus ten, nine ALL: Eight, seven, six - Let me help you.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- It's just trapped.
- Oh, I got it.
[SCREAMING.]
- Oh, my God, no! - No, no, no, no.
- No! - Come back.
I am so sorry, can we call the balloon company? You don't wanna have to wait two weeks, do you? [GASPS.]
Uh, guys.
I don't think I'm gonna have to.
[LAUGHS.]
What? I think the baby's coming.
- Now? - Now.
Now, I mean like, right now.
Oh, my God! Uh, okay, will somebody please call a car? Two minutes! Yes.
[SCREAMING.]
- [SCREAMS.]
- Three more minutes, just hang on.
Shouldn't somebody else be in the splash zone? Maggie.
You and I are the only two women on the planet who've been inside my mother.
[GASPS.]
We're bonded! Oh, whoa, whoa, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it's coming for me.
Hey, hey, hey, remember your breathing? - Right, deep breaths.
- Not helping.
I need to push.
- BOTH: No, don't push! - Do not push.
No baby in my Uber! Too late.
[SCREAMS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, wow! There goes my five-star rating.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Yo, Enzo.
You see this? There's that picture again.
And some article about love.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Get out of here.
The hell am I paying you for? Okay, loverboy.
[LAUGHS.]
"Flush With Love"? What the "Dreams we have as a child, dreams we pack" in a box for college.
Dreams you unpack when you move into your first apartment.
Who you'll meet, where you'll work, who you'll fall in love with.
Think you have it all figured out? Life has better ideas.
A bigger imagination takes bigger chances than someone like me, a year ago.
Moving through her forties in a cloud of old ideas.
Life gives you more than you thought, but maybe not in the package you expected.
Liza.
If you call out, if you call out If you call out, I will find you If you call out, if you call out It's deeper than that.
It's what you need underneath the want.
It gives you what you can't breathe without.
Did you mean this? - Yes.
- Even this part? Where you say you're not looking for the man of your dreams? That what you care about now is the man at night sleeping next to you, dreaming? Yes.
I mean it.
Every word.
[CHUCKLES.]
Get over here.
You get over here.
[LAUGHS.]
So go ahead and plan.
Just know, when all your scheming and planning, and hoping is done, life plans back.
Hi.
Everything okay? Yeah.
Baby girl.
- Hmm.
- They're happy.
Good for them.
Me too.
You? Yeah.
Me too.
This is love You owe it a try If you call out, if you call out