Camp Wannakiki (2018) s06e03 Episode Script
Sing Along
1
[bright campy music]
- Row, row, row.
gently down the stream.
Row, row. Line? What is my line?
Cut. Boat.
The line is boat.
- Well cut me some slack. That
line has five words in it.
And you know I'm only
good with threesomes.
- Speaking of which, how long
is this rehearsal going to go?
I have a date later with
the Property Brothers
and a gallon of Rocky Road.
- Oh, would you two
please take this seriously.
We are officially in
the Tri-County All Camp
Singalong contest.
This could really put us on
the map, you know.
- Ooh. Maps. Who
uses maps anymore?
- Tell me about it. Everything's
on GPS. Look right here.
See, I've got two gays less
than a foot away from me
and one that's six
inches behind me.
[audience laughing]
Must have not updated
from last night.
- Oh, that's it. I'm
calling in reinforcements.
[punching phone numbers]
[phone ringing]
[lullaby music]
- The voice of drag is speaking.
Wait, damnit
Well I already answered.
Which one is it?
- Oh, ADA, it's Apple Brown
Betty, I need your help.
- I don't think I'm
licensed to give the kind
of help that you need.
I can recommend a good physical
therapist, a mental one.
An electrologist.
A mani-pedi girl? A beautician?
- Oh, no, no, no.
Nothing like that.
Camp Wannakiki is in
the Tri-County All-Camp
Sing-Along contest.
I thought you could help
us out with our number
- Is Cherry singing?
- Yes. - You don't need help.
You need an escape plan.
- Please! Is there anything
else you can suggest?
- Well, like my
proctologist once said
to me, I'll throw you a bone.
You're gonna need
an original song.
Something new, something fresh,
something like this.
My heart's a flame.
And you're the one that
is going to be burned ♪
- Oh, ADA, that was beautiful.
- Thanks honey. But if you
really wanna win this contest,
maybe you should get
the campers involved.
It might help to
drown out your voices.
I mean, Harmonize. To harmonize.
- That's a great idea.
Thanks Ada. We'll chat soon.
- Let's not. How do
I block that number?
[audience laughing]
- Oh, come on girls.
I think I know
how we can win this contest.
We get to sleep with
the judges again.
- I'll get the blindfolds.
[audience laughing]
[upbeat quirky music]
[upbeat campy music]
Camp it up at
Camp Wannakiki
[crickets chirping]
[upbeat jazz music]
- [Ruthie] Hello campers.
- Hello Ruthie!
- If you think you can sing,
you might have a slight
advantage over the others today
because today you'll be
earning your Sing-Along Badge.
[campers cheering]
For today's daily camp activity,
you'll be divided
into three groups.
Each group will create
and perform their very
own all original Camp
Singalong song.
- Woo. Yes! - Best of all,
the winning song will be the
official Camp Wannakiki entry
in the Tri-County All-Camp
Sing-Along Contest.
[campers cheering]
In addition, you'll be
performing your song
with the Camp Wannakiki Band!
[band playing
instruments very badly]
[Ruthie] Okay. Okay.
Okay, okay. Okay.
Why don't y'all take a break.
- All right. Be back in five.
- Oh, let's make it 20.
In fact, why don't you just
take the rest of the day off?
[sad trumpet]
- [Campers] Awe
- Alright, campers, let's get
you divided into groups.
We're gonna do this old school.
So let's count off by threes.
Nutella, why don't you start
- 1, 2, 3.
1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.
- Alright, campers
separate into your groups.
You have 30 minutes to create
your all original camp
singalong song.
We'll meet back here.
I can't wait to hear what
you come up with. Good luck.
Three, three. Come
on. One. One. Coming
- I'm coming I'm coming.
- [Lulu] Lyrics. We have to make
it simple. - Simple yeah.
Because we want people
to sing along. Okay.
This is the singalong challenge,
right? Yes, of course.
Maybe we should throw in
a call and response too.
Like a call response.
Like when we say something,
you say something else.
- We have a lot of musical
campers this season.
- It's kinda making me nervous.
- It's a little intimidating.
- I, we need to look
out for Patty's team
because she has Patty
and Stevie. - Patty's team.
But you know who else? Rip Em
Because they're great
at writing parody
songs, right? - I mean,
that's what they do.
- Her verse one chorus.
Okay. My verse two choruses.
Your remix. Two choruses
after that? Yeah.
- And how are we
gonna get into yours?
Is it like a Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- I'm just gonna, I'm
just gonna interrupt it.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Just interrupt it.
And then what are we doing
while she's interrupting?
Are we gonna be like,
whoa, what are you doing?
- I think it's, I think
it's white confusion. Yes.
- Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
I love that. I love that.
We are the worst. And then
- Hashtag Patty is
a bitch. Pass it on.
- Sounds about white.
- Oh,
[bee buzzing]
- Are you feeling a little
nervous for this challenge?
I feel, I feel
excited. You know.
- I feel excited too.
- We're gonna have
a blast up there.
And then with our extra like
little choreography bits,
I think we're really
gonna amp up our camp.
- Oh, absolutely. And
it's gonna be so much fun.
- It's gonna be the
bob of the season.
- Yeah.
- Alright y'all.
So I really don't
mean to brag here,
but music is the one thing
that's taken me everywhere.
I've only been doing
drag for two years.
I've been doing music
since I could speak. So
- Same here.
Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yep,
yep, yep. Guilty. Oh,
- Awesome. I lucked out then
- Okay, we're the
- Team. We're the dream team.
- Yes.
[campers practicing the beat]
- Wait a minute, Wait a
minute. I have a kazoo.
- Hold on. Yeah.
- Toilet Paper
- Just think of Jaws
[imitating the
"Jaws" theme song]
- That's why you always
pack toilet paper.
- Just go down on toilet paper.
- So I had to fly here. I
couldn't bring my ukulele.
But you know who has one?
- Who?
- I don't know if she'll say yes
or not, but. I'm gonna see
if we can try.
- Fingers crossed.
- Fingers crossed.
- You never know
what could happen.
Wanna. Pee pee.
Wanna. Pee pee. ♪
- Okay. I love it. - You ready?
- Yeah let's go write.
- OK. Lemme pee.
- You saw Rip Em carring
they scrawny ass over here
and was like, can we
please use your ukulele?
And I said fuck no.
- I'm sorry. After the talent
show last night, like I
- I'm Feeling deeply threatened.
- They are a force.
They are a force.
And of course my bleeding
heart was like, I almost just
offered it without them
even asking Patty.
- Y'all felt threatened.
Y'all felt threatened.
I'm just a stone cold
bitch. Okay. Fuck no.
- You're a shit eater bitch.
That's what you are.
And
That's why you always
pack toilet paper ♪
- Yes.
- Alright, come on hazelnuts.
Hazel. Nut.
- [Ruthie] Okay,
campers. How did that go?
- Well I think it's time to
hear some sing-along songs.
[campers cheering]
Come on up and let's
hear your song.
- [Nutella] You go
squirrel friends
Camp Wanna Pee-Pee
Our bladders are so full.
Find a bush, find a tree. ♪
Give those pants a pull
- Everybody!
Camp Wanna Pee-Pee. Our
bladders are so full. ♪
Find a bush, find a tree.
Give those pants a pull ♪
- Shh
Camp Wanna Pee-Pee.
We had an accident. ♪
My pants are wet and
I regret I ever left my ♪
[kazoo sound]
Tent!
Tent!
[wailing noise]
[campers Cheering]
- [Cherry] Good job.
- [Ruthie] Up next we have
Stevie YouNeek and Patty.
- Alright,
- You better work
[playful music]
- Bitches Bros and
non-binary hoes.
This is the toilet paper song.
I was fully padded
when my coffee baby hit. ♪
Now my tights are matted with
my soupy drag queen shit.
And that's why you
always pack toilet paper ♪
- Take it Stevie
Roasting hot dogs on a fire
might sound like a lot of fun ♪
But when you can't eat bread
it really gives you the runs ♪
And that's why you always
pack toilet paper ♪
- Everybody!
And that's why you
always pack toilet paper ♪
- Whoa whoa whoa. Remix!
YouNeek NuYork on the
track and I'm serving you camp ♪
Turning up the amp like
a little comedy champ ♪
daily challenge, talent show
And I'm always a hoe. Yeah,
I'm playing with some scat ♪
because I got it like that
Patty, Stevie and
me at Camp Wannakiki ♪
With the red head
Ruthie and the Sugar B' ♪
Yeah. You know I'm a bitch
and I always stay
heated. Pop a squat ♪
Take a shit and you
know I'm gonna eat it ♪
And that's why you
always pack toilet paper! ♪
- Paper?
- Big finish everybody.
And that's why
you always pack ♪
That toilet paper!
- Word.
[campers cheering]
- [Betty] Oh my gosh.
- That's why you always pack
- Toilet paper
- And your own ukulele.
- Period.
- Great job. Wow. Wow.
- [Ruthie] All right, we
have one more team left.
It is Rip Nutella and Hanna
- Hazel.
Nuts!
- Hello prestigious guests
Before we continue.
Hi Betty. I have a
little question to ask you
and I promise to be
very sweet about it.
Is there any way you would
lend me your ukulele?
I promise I'm very
good with my fingers.
- [Betty] Well I know how good
you are with your fingers,
so Yes, you may.
- Thank you. - Caveat
it's not in tune.
I mean it's in my tune.
- Okay.
[upbeat ukulele playing]
Feeling good on
a Friday night ♪
I'm looking good. And
my tuck is tight at Camp ♪
[tambourine]
Wannakiki
Making friends and a feel so
right, except for Patty ♪
'cause she's
starting fights at ♪
Camp
[Campers laughing]
Wannakiki
The road is long
like Ranger's dong. ♪
The Sugarbakers bicker while
Ruthie chugs the liquor at
Camp
[campers laughing]
Wannakiki
- Yeah.
- Yes! Yes!
- Hazel. Nuts.
- Great job.
I Need A Drink.
- Wow, campers. Great job.
Now I've got three new
favorite camp songs.
- Thanks a lot. They're gonna
be stuck in my head all day.
- But only one song
can be the winner.
And we'll tell you
who that winner is
at tonight's talent show.
- And speaking of, we are going
to continue this
sing along showcase
with the talent show
theme of Way Off Broadway.
And remember
Amp up your Camp!
- So go get ready
for the Talent show.
- Oh.
[playful music]
[crickets chirping]
[trumpet honking]
[upbeat funky music]
- Good evening. Welcome to the
Camp Wannakiki talent show.
- Today our campers came up
with their very own
camp sing-along songs.
And tonight the talent show
theme is Way Off Broadway
where they will be pitching
their very own made up musicals.
- Ooh Ruthie, you've been
in a few plays, right?
- Actually I've appeared in
Avenue Pew, Diddler on the Roof
and Little Shop of Whores
- Off Broadway?
- To be honest, it was in
some guy's basement in Toledo.
- You are a whore.
- Let's start the show
- For my look.
I'm playing the lead role
from the Hit musical Lease.
It's a coming of age
story about a bunch
of gender diverse drag
performers who can't afford
to live in their
apartments. And get this.
It's actually based off
a true story, my story.
I don't have a loony to my
name, let alone a toony.
Did you know the unemployment
rate in Alberta right
now is at 8%?
Well my friends and I play a
key part in that statistic.
Speaking of which, shout
up to my friends at home.
That is, if they can
still afford to be there,
my rent goes up $300 when
I get home from this shit.
So if you need a new camp
counselor, give a bitch a call.
Wanna know how
long I haven't had a job? ♪
Well I'll tell you
it's been 334 days. ♪
I know that I was honestly
born to serve cunt. ♪
So why am I forced
to work minimum wage? ♪
- [Ruthie] Terminex rated
- Produced by
alcohollers anonyl
most delicious new
brew Untap the musical.
Yes, I'm Beer. Ain't it queer.
So just take a sip of me. ♪
Grab me nice and tight,
keep you up all night. ♪
Please don't start a
fight. I'm just nice ♪
And light. I'm
beer Ain't it queer ♪
So just take a sip of me
- With music from
your drunk aunt
and lyrics from your
late night tipsy text.
The true star of the show
is our inebriated ingenue
Swiggy Azalea.
Watch your hands you horny
mut. We got it on top. ♪
Alright, you crazy bitches
wake up from your nap. ♪
[tap dancing]
'Cause baby I'm on tap.
- So hurry, stumble your
way to Wannakiki box office
and secure your seats today.
And don't worry, we
take drink tickets.
- [Betty] She's serving head.
- [Ruthie] She looks like
a beer in headlights.
The man on the moon
is a bearded lady, ♪
a lady with facial hair
- At the golden age of Broadway,
there was once a show about
a bearded lady on the moon.
She would look and admire the
stars through her telescope
as she ate cheese all
day up in the sky.
Originally the leading
role was to be played
by Ethel Merman,
but by the director's
request for Ethel
to grow out her beard.
Ethel replied, no.
The show closed
after one night due
to poor marketing
and the lack of Ethel Merman.
Musical numbers included
"The Kurds Ain't
Bringing Me Down"
"String Cheese Dreams" "Ode
to Milk" "Ode to Milk reprise"
and "Cows Ain't Real."
So what do you think?
Is it time for a revival?
- [Ruthie] She just moaned me
- Now.
Closing a theater near you.
It's Rats the musical.
Come join the rats, the
rats, the jiggly rats ♪
- as they choose the one
rat that must ascend
to the people world
in search for food.
Listen to such classics as
Remember
In the moonlit December
And follow Me-Stop-For-Cheese
on his journey of ups
and downs.
With the help from
the Rat's Nest chorus.
Maybe Me-Stop-For-Cheese
will realize
that the real food is the food
that our filthy bodies
have made all along.
- [Betty] Oh rats. It's a trap.
- What happens when a group
of no good baloney scientists
genetically engineer a
Tyrannosaurus Rex
and release her into this
hopsy totsy modern society.
Find out at Thoroughly
Jurassic Patty.
Will this prehistoric little
lady have what it takes
to make it in the big city?
Will she find love?
And more importantly,
will she find meaningful
work on the Broadway stage?
featuring instant classics like
"I Scooby-Doo Bop Bop Ate
a Jazz Man for Breakfast"
"The Asteroid Hop" and Patty's
big swing at 11 o'clock.
Tune "Life Finds a Way."
Life finds a way and so
will I
- Thoroughly Jurassic Patty.
This speakeasy is about to roar.
- [Cherry] How does she her
makeup with those tiny arms?
- For years we heard this
nasally bitch talk about
how she defied gravity, but she
ain't doing not a damn thing
but scream at a blonde bitch.
But who's the prop helping
her fat ass up off the ground?
Oh yeah, me. But I'm sick
of this shit. Fuck Wicked.
It's Broom Stick-it now.
And nobody of all
of Oz. No producer ♪
or Stage hand that
was is ever going ♪
to hold me the fuck again.
Broom Lives matter. I'm
taking a stand for all props.
We deserve props for all the
things that we contribute
to plays. The carpet from
Aladdin, the corn from Shuck
and all other props.
Join me in the revolution.
- [Betty] It's a clean
sweep. Well props to her.
- Are you always tree
number three in your
community theater productions?
But you feel like you should
be the star then this hilarious
new musical comedy is for you.
Delusional the musical, where
reality meets the absurd
and the most side spitting way.
Follow the wild journey
of an ill favored dreamer
who believes she is
destined for greatness.
Even if reality begs to differ.
With toe tapping songs like,
"Fuck I forgot My Top Shoes"
and "That Bitch is
Singing my Audition Song."
But let's not forget the
title song of the show.
You are delusional
You're never going to
make it your delusional ♪
Find another career choice.
You are delusional. Yeah ♪
- Delusional the musical a
laugh riot that proves dreams
may be crazy, but
the laughter is real
- [Cherry] Delusional
the musical?
- [Betty] Is that just
a metaphor for this show?
- In a world where
fashion meets fromage
and flatulence, one woman is
about to embark on
an adventure of a lifetime.
Cheese Louise is a mild
mannered fashion designer
with a not so mild stomach.
Louise has a secret.
She's lactose intolerant.
Did I happen to mention all
of her designs are
made of cheese?
Join us for this
Broadway musical
that is aged to perfection.
[fart noise]
Stinky Boots will
leave you in stitches
and holding your nose
with musical selections like
"Swiss Me Baby One more Time"
and "Feta one That I Want."
I got curds.
They're multiplying. ♪
And that whey's
outta control ♪
And that lactose
you're providing ♪
[fart sound]
My bowels are dying.
- [Ruthie] She's a real gas
- [Betty] Who cut the cheese?
- Get ready for a viral
sensation like no other.
As we take you on a
journey into Grumpy Cats
the musical.
Introducing Grumpy Cat
This raining
monarch of RBF preps
her social media presence
as the influencer ball draws
near. Will she be chosen
to rebirth into newfound meme
hood? Or will grumpy glory
slip through her
claws once again?
Hold on to your smartphones
and prepare to
O-M-G, W-T-F and LOL
during this way off Broadway
masterpiece critics are calling
a formidable flop,
perplexing and catastrophic.
Even the Sugarbakers can't
help but to sing
History. Please delete
my search history ♪
Don't want no one to find me
with this beep on my phone ♪
- [Betty] Meow.
- [Cherry] Is that a Furby?
[upbeat funky music]
Hello. Hello Campers
What a great show.
Tt was fabulous ♪
- That's our
Broadway. That was it.
[Campers laughing]
- Well it truly was a
magical musical experience.
You all took us
on a trip tonight.
I tell you, we have some
tough decisions to make
because as you know, there
are nine of you right now.
- But only eight
Sing-Along Badges.
So unfortunately at
the end of tonight, one
of you will be taking a hike.
- [Ruthie] So we are
going to send you off
to the rec room while we
have some discussions.
- Bye - Bye. Bye
campers. See you soon.
- Now you wrote a musical.
- I did. It is called
Delusional the Musical.
- It's so funny that you
wrote a musical about Lulu.
We need to get into some things.
- Rip Em.
- Oh, we were talking about
how we were going to use our
ukulele for this daily activity
and Rip Em out of nowhere
and came up with
their little bodies
and said Please,
please Patty please
give us the ukulele.
And Patty said, fuck no.
- You think you were wronged
by the ukulele situation?
- Oh, I was crying 'cause
we had our ukulele.
- Oh, okay. Alright.
- I can be looked up on Spotify.
I got original music and all
of it's played with a ukulele.
It is my brand.
- Ooh,
- You better work.
- All right, Rip
Em this is for you.
[campers laughing]
- [Patty] Ukulele Gate. Like I
thought it would be fun
in a daily activity.
to kind of like
mix it up a little bit.
The talent show
is, is one thing,
but like, you know,
singing a camp song
for the Sugarbakers is another.
- [Stevie] Oh, I feel like
we're all probably on the same
page there. Honestly.
- [Rip] I think so too. I
don't think we would ever let
anyone you know go out looking
a fool of any kind.
- [Nutella] Patty,
I still love you.
- [Stevie] We love Patty.
- I love,
- Love you so much.
- [Patty] All together.
1, 2, 3, Patty 1, 2, 3.
[fart sound]
[campers laughing]
- What a fun day today has been.
- I love The Great White Way.
- Yes.
- Yeah. The daily activity
and the Talent Show.
Both just went so well together
and all of our campers
were phenomenal.
- I would say they
were fabulous.
So let's talk about that
daily activity first.
the sing along contest.
- [Ruthie] Everyone did
so great. They were funny.
They were clever. I really was
shocked at how great it was
- At this point I'm not shocked
because we do a fabulous
job casting the show.
- Oh, of course. So you know.
If you thinkg of a
camp sing along song,
that song that Ivanna,
Lulu and Martina
did was very catchy.
Easy to like follow
along and sing along to.
And it was also really
funny in Campy it
- It was, I can see people
singing that for years
and years around the campfire.
'cause it just was so
catchy and cute and perfect.
- It was much simpler than
the other two. Yes, yes.
But it was very, very catchy.
- The second group,
which was Patty, YouNeek
and Stevie really blew it
out of the water for me.
- And that's why you
- Always pack toilet paper.
- It was complicated as a
whole for a sing-along song.
But they incorporated
a sing-along element,
which was key.
The hook to the
assignment. They got
- Everybody singing along.
- They got everybody
singing along. Yeah.
And when YouNeek jumped in
with the rap, it was Oh wow.
Oh wow. I was just
blown away again. Yeah.
Rip Em, Nutella and
Hanna unfortunately had
to follow the toilet paper song.
But also really, really
did a phenomenal job.
- I agree. Delightful.
- Only one can represent us in
the Tri-County All-Camp
Sing-Along contest
- Which is a real thing.
- So by the end of
this talent show,
we gotta figure out which one
of these songs is
gonna be the winner.
- Well, speaking of the
talent show, I love Broadway.
And these hilarious
original ideas
for musicals just had me
gagging all night long.
- I thought Nutella was
brew-tiful. - The tap dancing.
She was on ballet shoes
yesterday. Tap dancing today.
- Talk about a reveal.
- Also a thirst trap.
Well, I tell you what, I
just loved Patty Bourree.
Oh, the arms and the headpiece.
It was just immaculately done.
But then also you
just look head to toe
and you know what it is.
You get the concept.
- It was one of my
favorites of the night.
I think that combination of
Thoroughly Modern Millie
this twenties flapper
and Jurassic Park, the, I
mean it was just so hilarious.
And then she tap
dances like crazy.
I also really liked Stevie.
How clever was that?
To take the musical
Cats and make it Rats
- And the little mini us.
- Oh, the little
mini us in the hair.
- The funny thing with Stevie's
is when he first came up
there, I didn't recognize him.
- I didn't either.
I wasn't sure.
- It was so good. Which one
of these campers was that?
- Who's this? But can we also
talk about YouNeek though?
Because that was a performance
and to think about, I'm going
to make a musical
about the props.
- Yes. And then to be the
Witch's Broom from Wicked,
which is such a great prop to
make this fake musical around.
- Props to YouNeek
- Martina.
Again, I just felt that there
could have been more to it.
The story was good. I
thought the idea was great.
I think the idea of delusional
the musical is really
funny and really clever.
I would've preferred it to
be a little more over the top
with the delusions.
I get it, you've got funky
teeth, you look weird.
But what else? That's
not delusional.
- People with funky
teeth have talent. - Yeah
- There's a look that
I actually liked,
but I think compared
to everyone else,
I would put toward the bottom,
and I hate to say
it would be Ivanna's
because given the critique
that we gave Ivanna yesterday,
I feel like she amped
up the camp today.
The problem is I didn't
really enjoy the story as much
as the others.
- The punchlines in the
story weren't quite campy
enough. They weren't
zingy enough.
- From the neck down,
she kinda lost me a little bit.
- I love the headpiece though.
- Well well have we
made some decisions?
- I think so.
- Let's call back our campers
- Campers, la la la la.
- The winner of Camp Wannakiki
will receive a stupendous
prize package,
including Itza Pola
a fabulous custom foam
wig by season four camper,
Pola frost.
Shimmer and shine with a year
supply of glittery makeup
by Elektra Cosmetics.
Set sail baby. An all
expense paid cruise
provided by Dream Vacations
and adventuresbymaps.com.
All this and $10,000
in cold hard cash
provided by Hamburger Mary's
where you can eat, drink,
and be Mary Baby.
- [Betty] Welcome back campers.
We have had a very tough time
making some tough decisions
because as you know
there are nine of you,
but only eight
Sing-Along badges.
So one of you tonight will
be taking a hike. Ooh,
- Ugh.
But first let's talk
about the daily activity.
Yes. Did you all enjoy it?
- Yes!
- We enjoyed it
I think I speak
for my cousins when I say
that we were blown away
by all three teams.
While we love them
all, there was one
that stood out a little
bit more than the others.
And that was the team of
Patty, Stevie and YouNeek.
- Oh. Thank you.
- So congratulations for
winning the daily camp activity.
Very, very nice job campers.
And nice job to all of you.
And good luck at the Tri-County
All-Camp Sing-Along contest,
- Which is of
course a real thing.
- Alright, so now I'm gonna
call out a few names.
Nutella Fitzgerald,
Lulu CKystals,
Hanna Barbeara,
YouNeek NuYork.
And Rip Em.
Congratulations,
you all have earned
your Sing-Along badge.
- Oh
- You can wait
backstage for the
badging ceremony.
You four campers represent
the tops and the bottoms.
Today at camp. We
would like to talk
to the top two campers first.
And that is Stevie
Phoenix and Patty Bourree.
- Thank you.
- Congratulations.
Unfortunately, Martina
and Ivanna, if you could
wait backstage in the rec room
we'll call you back in a bit.
- Thank you.
Thank you
- Patty and Stevie.
Congratulations for being
in the top two today.
Thank you so much.
- Patty, your second time here.
- Oh I know. Little imposter
syndrome tonight for sure.
I was really, really excited
about my flapper-saurus.
I love this concept
and it just as I
was putting it on,
like really wasn't
coming together
and I had people helping me
like get the headpiece on in a
way that it could just
go out and perform and,
and thankfully I was able
to to get it to that point.
I feel really happy about that
and really thankful to
the people who helped me.
- The whole concept of
this was just hilarious.
- I fell in love
with this from the minute
your voiceover started.
I thought it was a
brilliant concept.
And then you tap dance,
- Right?
- You didn't even have to.
- It was just like
the icing on the cake.
and you tap dance well
- Thank you
- Like you're not jacking
around up there like
you are nailing it.
- My dance teacher
will be proud.
- Stevie, this is your
first time in the top two
How are you feeling?
- Overwhelmed.
I think Patty hit it on the
nose when she mentioned imposter
syndrome because when
you dismissed the campers
who were safe, my stomach
started to drop and I
was like, oh no, what
if they hated it?
Because you know,
you just never know.
Like things are funny to me
but I don't know if my humor
is always gonna translate.
So to be here I am having
an out of body experience.
I'm gonna go full
dissociative very soon
- And I want tickets to Rats.
- Yeah,
- You got it. I will be in the
front row. God damnit.
- Fantastic. I've just gotta
write it and produce it.
It shouldn't take more
than like five years.
- If you know anything about
us, it's like gag us with a gag
and we're gagged, you know.
- And Gooped. Gooped and gagged
- And both of your stories
were so well written
and you were both on the
winning team today as well.
But there can only
be one winner.
So tonight, congratulations
Patty Bourree.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
[register dinging]
- Congratulations. You've
just earned $500 cash.
- It feels like that six
figure theater degree is
finally paying off.
[judges laughing]
And I'd like to retire to
the rec room now. Please.
[everyone laughing]
- Yeah, I'll grab your
big head. I got you.
It's getting bigger by the day.
- I'm feeling very
emotional at the moment
because I'm very proud of my
look for tonight's talent show.
So hopefully I make it.
I was in the bottom two last
night, and here I am again.
So let's see what
this verdict is
and if not then I'll just
keep being in the bottom
and keep kicking 'em out.
Slowly but shortly.
- Martina Brookshire
and Ivanna Peessa.
Unfortunately today you
two are in the bottom.
So Ivanna, how are
you feeling right now?
- You know, I'm a
little emotional.
I mean obviously I was really
excited for this challenge.
I'm really proud of what I
did tonight, but I understand
because it's such a strong
season that it's just cut down
to the little details.
- I will say that I
love this headpiece.
It really pops. I can
tell that you put a lot
of effort in doing
some more stoning.
You took our critiques
from yesterday
and really amped
this up a little bit.
- The story was, it was
kind of a, you know,
take on the song from Mame.
I played Auntie Mame
myself as well. - Okay.
So I do love all of that.
But it just wasn't
as campy maybe
as your competitors were
today, to be honest.
So I think that's kind of
what landed you in the spot.
- Martina, tell us
how you're feeling.
- I am very sad,
but it's a double-edged sword
because I started writing this
musical during the pandemic
with one of my friends
during Zoom meetings.
And it's not finished
completely yet.
But it was very wonderful
to bring a character
that we created
from life stories
because we all know this person.
- I know two of 'em. Oh,
- Specifically with you.
I we, we felt like you maybe
could have gone a little
further with like
some malfunctions
and it wasn't just the
teeth, it was like there are
so many other things
wrong with this person
who thinks she's just the
greatest and so delusional.
By the way, your story, you
said that it's your musical?
- Yeah. I wrote it.
- I want to go see it.
- Where's it playing? You
said that it's not finished
and I feel like that is kind of
what I'm getting from this
look in a way. It could be a
little bit more slap sticky,
a little more over the top.
We wanna give each
of you an opportunity
to tell us why you think you
should get the last badge.
- I know that there's other
factors in this competition
besides presentation.
I know that I'm a little
more quiet and shy
and I do struggle
with this a lot
just in my past, just in
general as out of drag.
So I really just
want y'all to know
that I'm listening
to your critiques
and I just want to
be here so, so badly
with these amazing competitors.
- Thank you. Martina.
- I have worked very hard
to bring different
looks, different faces,
different paints.
Like I said yesterday, I
don't paint like yesterday.
I sure as hell don't paint
like this on a daily basis.
I am doing the best
to amp up my camp.
I don't wanna, I don't
wanna cry in my ugly face.
- Well you are both such
amazing comedy campy
queens and we'd love to
have you both stay longer,
but unfortunately there
are just not enough badges
for everyone.
So we're gonna write on
our chalkboards, the name
of the camper who we think
should get that last badge.
- I love you. I love you.
Don't worry, you'll be okay.
- So I thought that there's
a little bit more I'd like
to see from Martina.
- Oh, - I would also like to
see a lot more from Martina,
but I did vote for Ivanna.
And that's a pizza,
not a strawberry.
I just drew a piece of pizza.
- Oh my - Fucking head. That's
only because I'm hungry.
- Thank you so much. -
Congratulations. Ivanna Peessa.
You have earned the
last sing-along badge.
You may wait backstage.
- Thank you so much,
I love you.
- Go kill it.
- Oh Martina, I feel
like I am just getting
to know you and that's a shame
that you have to take a hike
so soon because I feel like you
are a spectacular performer.
And also I just get a feeling
that you're a lovely person.
Oh, thank So I'm really
glad that you came
to Camp Wannakiki this season.
Thank you. - We're gonna
come visit you in Vegas
and we're gonna watch your show.
Let us know when it debuts.
- Please do.
- We can write it off 'cause
we can visit a Hamburger
Mary's there. Oh yeah.
Write off. It's even better.
- A good old tax write off.
- Martina, I am never
coming to visit you.
I'm joking. I'm joking.
And we adore you
and I know that we're
going to be seeing big,
big things from you in
the very near future.
- Thank you. Thank you so
much for this opportunity.
It has been a whirlwind
of emotions and love
and support and I wanted
to do this for a while
and I finally got the
opportunity to do it
and I couldn't ask
for a better time.
So thank you. From the
bottom of my heart.
- Well Martina Brookshire,
we will visit you in Vegas.
But unfortunately tonight my
dear, you have to take a hike.
- Thank you.
- Exit
- Stage left? Stage
right? Front and center?
I'll figure it out.
[upbeat campy music]
Camp it up at
Camp Wannakiki
[bright guitar music]
Well, it happened.
They are sending me on my
hike. But you know what?
I'm actually okay with it.
I came and I accomplished a
few things while I was here.
I made it on the show. So
that's always a silver lining.
I made a bunch of
amazing friends
and now people that I
can truly call my family.
I want all of my
viewers to know,
don't give up on yourself.
You are creative,
you are wonderful
and you are art.
No matter what anyone
says, your art matters.
So make sure you come
to Vegas and see me.
I'll even marry you. I'm a
wedding officiant in Vegas.
Well, it's time to
go back to Vegas.
Anybody know which way that is?
Well I guess it's not that
way 'cause that's water.
So guess I'm going across
this creepy tunnel.
I got gigs to do. Honey,
come see me in Vegas.
It's been real
everyone. Bye-Bye.
- Bitch, bitch, bitch.
[audience laughing
and screaming]
[Audience laughing]
- In the Tri-County All-Camp.
Fuck me.
- Yes,
- In the Tri-County
all camp.
Sing along. Fuck. What is it?
Sing along contest?
- In the Tri-County
[Ruthie laughing]
[campers laughing]
- And that's a pizza,
not a strawberry.
- Thank you. You spelled
my first name wrong
but it's okay. I'll forgive you.
- Two N's. There's another.
- There's a double N.
There is two N's,
but it's just sloppy.
- Oh, sloppy bitch.
- She's a sloppy bitch.
- I know she is
[bright campy music]
- Row, row, row.
gently down the stream.
Row, row. Line? What is my line?
Cut. Boat.
The line is boat.
- Well cut me some slack. That
line has five words in it.
And you know I'm only
good with threesomes.
- Speaking of which, how long
is this rehearsal going to go?
I have a date later with
the Property Brothers
and a gallon of Rocky Road.
- Oh, would you two
please take this seriously.
We are officially in
the Tri-County All Camp
Singalong contest.
This could really put us on
the map, you know.
- Ooh. Maps. Who
uses maps anymore?
- Tell me about it. Everything's
on GPS. Look right here.
See, I've got two gays less
than a foot away from me
and one that's six
inches behind me.
[audience laughing]
Must have not updated
from last night.
- Oh, that's it. I'm
calling in reinforcements.
[punching phone numbers]
[phone ringing]
[lullaby music]
- The voice of drag is speaking.
Wait, damnit
Well I already answered.
Which one is it?
- Oh, ADA, it's Apple Brown
Betty, I need your help.
- I don't think I'm
licensed to give the kind
of help that you need.
I can recommend a good physical
therapist, a mental one.
An electrologist.
A mani-pedi girl? A beautician?
- Oh, no, no, no.
Nothing like that.
Camp Wannakiki is in
the Tri-County All-Camp
Sing-Along contest.
I thought you could help
us out with our number
- Is Cherry singing?
- Yes. - You don't need help.
You need an escape plan.
- Please! Is there anything
else you can suggest?
- Well, like my
proctologist once said
to me, I'll throw you a bone.
You're gonna need
an original song.
Something new, something fresh,
something like this.
My heart's a flame.
And you're the one that
is going to be burned ♪
- Oh, ADA, that was beautiful.
- Thanks honey. But if you
really wanna win this contest,
maybe you should get
the campers involved.
It might help to
drown out your voices.
I mean, Harmonize. To harmonize.
- That's a great idea.
Thanks Ada. We'll chat soon.
- Let's not. How do
I block that number?
[audience laughing]
- Oh, come on girls.
I think I know
how we can win this contest.
We get to sleep with
the judges again.
- I'll get the blindfolds.
[audience laughing]
[upbeat quirky music]
[upbeat campy music]
Camp it up at
Camp Wannakiki
[crickets chirping]
[upbeat jazz music]
- [Ruthie] Hello campers.
- Hello Ruthie!
- If you think you can sing,
you might have a slight
advantage over the others today
because today you'll be
earning your Sing-Along Badge.
[campers cheering]
For today's daily camp activity,
you'll be divided
into three groups.
Each group will create
and perform their very
own all original Camp
Singalong song.
- Woo. Yes! - Best of all,
the winning song will be the
official Camp Wannakiki entry
in the Tri-County All-Camp
Sing-Along Contest.
[campers cheering]
In addition, you'll be
performing your song
with the Camp Wannakiki Band!
[band playing
instruments very badly]
[Ruthie] Okay. Okay.
Okay, okay. Okay.
Why don't y'all take a break.
- All right. Be back in five.
- Oh, let's make it 20.
In fact, why don't you just
take the rest of the day off?
[sad trumpet]
- [Campers] Awe
- Alright, campers, let's get
you divided into groups.
We're gonna do this old school.
So let's count off by threes.
Nutella, why don't you start
- 1, 2, 3.
1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.
- Alright, campers
separate into your groups.
You have 30 minutes to create
your all original camp
singalong song.
We'll meet back here.
I can't wait to hear what
you come up with. Good luck.
Three, three. Come
on. One. One. Coming
- I'm coming I'm coming.
- [Lulu] Lyrics. We have to make
it simple. - Simple yeah.
Because we want people
to sing along. Okay.
This is the singalong challenge,
right? Yes, of course.
Maybe we should throw in
a call and response too.
Like a call response.
Like when we say something,
you say something else.
- We have a lot of musical
campers this season.
- It's kinda making me nervous.
- It's a little intimidating.
- I, we need to look
out for Patty's team
because she has Patty
and Stevie. - Patty's team.
But you know who else? Rip Em
Because they're great
at writing parody
songs, right? - I mean,
that's what they do.
- Her verse one chorus.
Okay. My verse two choruses.
Your remix. Two choruses
after that? Yeah.
- And how are we
gonna get into yours?
Is it like a Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- I'm just gonna, I'm
just gonna interrupt it.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Just interrupt it.
And then what are we doing
while she's interrupting?
Are we gonna be like,
whoa, what are you doing?
- I think it's, I think
it's white confusion. Yes.
- Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
I love that. I love that.
We are the worst. And then
- Hashtag Patty is
a bitch. Pass it on.
- Sounds about white.
- Oh,
[bee buzzing]
- Are you feeling a little
nervous for this challenge?
I feel, I feel
excited. You know.
- I feel excited too.
- We're gonna have
a blast up there.
And then with our extra like
little choreography bits,
I think we're really
gonna amp up our camp.
- Oh, absolutely. And
it's gonna be so much fun.
- It's gonna be the
bob of the season.
- Yeah.
- Alright y'all.
So I really don't
mean to brag here,
but music is the one thing
that's taken me everywhere.
I've only been doing
drag for two years.
I've been doing music
since I could speak. So
- Same here.
Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yep,
yep, yep. Guilty. Oh,
- Awesome. I lucked out then
- Okay, we're the
- Team. We're the dream team.
- Yes.
[campers practicing the beat]
- Wait a minute, Wait a
minute. I have a kazoo.
- Hold on. Yeah.
- Toilet Paper
- Just think of Jaws
[imitating the
"Jaws" theme song]
- That's why you always
pack toilet paper.
- Just go down on toilet paper.
- So I had to fly here. I
couldn't bring my ukulele.
But you know who has one?
- Who?
- I don't know if she'll say yes
or not, but. I'm gonna see
if we can try.
- Fingers crossed.
- Fingers crossed.
- You never know
what could happen.
Wanna. Pee pee.
Wanna. Pee pee. ♪
- Okay. I love it. - You ready?
- Yeah let's go write.
- OK. Lemme pee.
- You saw Rip Em carring
they scrawny ass over here
and was like, can we
please use your ukulele?
And I said fuck no.
- I'm sorry. After the talent
show last night, like I
- I'm Feeling deeply threatened.
- They are a force.
They are a force.
And of course my bleeding
heart was like, I almost just
offered it without them
even asking Patty.
- Y'all felt threatened.
Y'all felt threatened.
I'm just a stone cold
bitch. Okay. Fuck no.
- You're a shit eater bitch.
That's what you are.
And
That's why you always
pack toilet paper ♪
- Yes.
- Alright, come on hazelnuts.
Hazel. Nut.
- [Ruthie] Okay,
campers. How did that go?
- Well I think it's time to
hear some sing-along songs.
[campers cheering]
Come on up and let's
hear your song.
- [Nutella] You go
squirrel friends
Camp Wanna Pee-Pee
Our bladders are so full.
Find a bush, find a tree. ♪
Give those pants a pull
- Everybody!
Camp Wanna Pee-Pee. Our
bladders are so full. ♪
Find a bush, find a tree.
Give those pants a pull ♪
- Shh
Camp Wanna Pee-Pee.
We had an accident. ♪
My pants are wet and
I regret I ever left my ♪
[kazoo sound]
Tent!
Tent!
[wailing noise]
[campers Cheering]
- [Cherry] Good job.
- [Ruthie] Up next we have
Stevie YouNeek and Patty.
- Alright,
- You better work
[playful music]
- Bitches Bros and
non-binary hoes.
This is the toilet paper song.
I was fully padded
when my coffee baby hit. ♪
Now my tights are matted with
my soupy drag queen shit.
And that's why you
always pack toilet paper ♪
- Take it Stevie
Roasting hot dogs on a fire
might sound like a lot of fun ♪
But when you can't eat bread
it really gives you the runs ♪
And that's why you always
pack toilet paper ♪
- Everybody!
And that's why you
always pack toilet paper ♪
- Whoa whoa whoa. Remix!
YouNeek NuYork on the
track and I'm serving you camp ♪
Turning up the amp like
a little comedy champ ♪
daily challenge, talent show
And I'm always a hoe. Yeah,
I'm playing with some scat ♪
because I got it like that
Patty, Stevie and
me at Camp Wannakiki ♪
With the red head
Ruthie and the Sugar B' ♪
Yeah. You know I'm a bitch
and I always stay
heated. Pop a squat ♪
Take a shit and you
know I'm gonna eat it ♪
And that's why you
always pack toilet paper! ♪
- Paper?
- Big finish everybody.
And that's why
you always pack ♪
That toilet paper!
- Word.
[campers cheering]
- [Betty] Oh my gosh.
- That's why you always pack
- Toilet paper
- And your own ukulele.
- Period.
- Great job. Wow. Wow.
- [Ruthie] All right, we
have one more team left.
It is Rip Nutella and Hanna
- Hazel.
Nuts!
- Hello prestigious guests
Before we continue.
Hi Betty. I have a
little question to ask you
and I promise to be
very sweet about it.
Is there any way you would
lend me your ukulele?
I promise I'm very
good with my fingers.
- [Betty] Well I know how good
you are with your fingers,
so Yes, you may.
- Thank you. - Caveat
it's not in tune.
I mean it's in my tune.
- Okay.
[upbeat ukulele playing]
Feeling good on
a Friday night ♪
I'm looking good. And
my tuck is tight at Camp ♪
[tambourine]
Wannakiki
Making friends and a feel so
right, except for Patty ♪
'cause she's
starting fights at ♪
Camp
[Campers laughing]
Wannakiki
The road is long
like Ranger's dong. ♪
The Sugarbakers bicker while
Ruthie chugs the liquor at
Camp
[campers laughing]
Wannakiki
- Yeah.
- Yes! Yes!
- Hazel. Nuts.
- Great job.
I Need A Drink.
- Wow, campers. Great job.
Now I've got three new
favorite camp songs.
- Thanks a lot. They're gonna
be stuck in my head all day.
- But only one song
can be the winner.
And we'll tell you
who that winner is
at tonight's talent show.
- And speaking of, we are going
to continue this
sing along showcase
with the talent show
theme of Way Off Broadway.
And remember
Amp up your Camp!
- So go get ready
for the Talent show.
- Oh.
[playful music]
[crickets chirping]
[trumpet honking]
[upbeat funky music]
- Good evening. Welcome to the
Camp Wannakiki talent show.
- Today our campers came up
with their very own
camp sing-along songs.
And tonight the talent show
theme is Way Off Broadway
where they will be pitching
their very own made up musicals.
- Ooh Ruthie, you've been
in a few plays, right?
- Actually I've appeared in
Avenue Pew, Diddler on the Roof
and Little Shop of Whores
- Off Broadway?
- To be honest, it was in
some guy's basement in Toledo.
- You are a whore.
- Let's start the show
- For my look.
I'm playing the lead role
from the Hit musical Lease.
It's a coming of age
story about a bunch
of gender diverse drag
performers who can't afford
to live in their
apartments. And get this.
It's actually based off
a true story, my story.
I don't have a loony to my
name, let alone a toony.
Did you know the unemployment
rate in Alberta right
now is at 8%?
Well my friends and I play a
key part in that statistic.
Speaking of which, shout
up to my friends at home.
That is, if they can
still afford to be there,
my rent goes up $300 when
I get home from this shit.
So if you need a new camp
counselor, give a bitch a call.
Wanna know how
long I haven't had a job? ♪
Well I'll tell you
it's been 334 days. ♪
I know that I was honestly
born to serve cunt. ♪
So why am I forced
to work minimum wage? ♪
- [Ruthie] Terminex rated
- Produced by
alcohollers anonyl
most delicious new
brew Untap the musical.
Yes, I'm Beer. Ain't it queer.
So just take a sip of me. ♪
Grab me nice and tight,
keep you up all night. ♪
Please don't start a
fight. I'm just nice ♪
And light. I'm
beer Ain't it queer ♪
So just take a sip of me
- With music from
your drunk aunt
and lyrics from your
late night tipsy text.
The true star of the show
is our inebriated ingenue
Swiggy Azalea.
Watch your hands you horny
mut. We got it on top. ♪
Alright, you crazy bitches
wake up from your nap. ♪
[tap dancing]
'Cause baby I'm on tap.
- So hurry, stumble your
way to Wannakiki box office
and secure your seats today.
And don't worry, we
take drink tickets.
- [Betty] She's serving head.
- [Ruthie] She looks like
a beer in headlights.
The man on the moon
is a bearded lady, ♪
a lady with facial hair
- At the golden age of Broadway,
there was once a show about
a bearded lady on the moon.
She would look and admire the
stars through her telescope
as she ate cheese all
day up in the sky.
Originally the leading
role was to be played
by Ethel Merman,
but by the director's
request for Ethel
to grow out her beard.
Ethel replied, no.
The show closed
after one night due
to poor marketing
and the lack of Ethel Merman.
Musical numbers included
"The Kurds Ain't
Bringing Me Down"
"String Cheese Dreams" "Ode
to Milk" "Ode to Milk reprise"
and "Cows Ain't Real."
So what do you think?
Is it time for a revival?
- [Ruthie] She just moaned me
- Now.
Closing a theater near you.
It's Rats the musical.
Come join the rats, the
rats, the jiggly rats ♪
- as they choose the one
rat that must ascend
to the people world
in search for food.
Listen to such classics as
Remember
In the moonlit December
And follow Me-Stop-For-Cheese
on his journey of ups
and downs.
With the help from
the Rat's Nest chorus.
Maybe Me-Stop-For-Cheese
will realize
that the real food is the food
that our filthy bodies
have made all along.
- [Betty] Oh rats. It's a trap.
- What happens when a group
of no good baloney scientists
genetically engineer a
Tyrannosaurus Rex
and release her into this
hopsy totsy modern society.
Find out at Thoroughly
Jurassic Patty.
Will this prehistoric little
lady have what it takes
to make it in the big city?
Will she find love?
And more importantly,
will she find meaningful
work on the Broadway stage?
featuring instant classics like
"I Scooby-Doo Bop Bop Ate
a Jazz Man for Breakfast"
"The Asteroid Hop" and Patty's
big swing at 11 o'clock.
Tune "Life Finds a Way."
Life finds a way and so
will I
- Thoroughly Jurassic Patty.
This speakeasy is about to roar.
- [Cherry] How does she her
makeup with those tiny arms?
- For years we heard this
nasally bitch talk about
how she defied gravity, but she
ain't doing not a damn thing
but scream at a blonde bitch.
But who's the prop helping
her fat ass up off the ground?
Oh yeah, me. But I'm sick
of this shit. Fuck Wicked.
It's Broom Stick-it now.
And nobody of all
of Oz. No producer ♪
or Stage hand that
was is ever going ♪
to hold me the fuck again.
Broom Lives matter. I'm
taking a stand for all props.
We deserve props for all the
things that we contribute
to plays. The carpet from
Aladdin, the corn from Shuck
and all other props.
Join me in the revolution.
- [Betty] It's a clean
sweep. Well props to her.
- Are you always tree
number three in your
community theater productions?
But you feel like you should
be the star then this hilarious
new musical comedy is for you.
Delusional the musical, where
reality meets the absurd
and the most side spitting way.
Follow the wild journey
of an ill favored dreamer
who believes she is
destined for greatness.
Even if reality begs to differ.
With toe tapping songs like,
"Fuck I forgot My Top Shoes"
and "That Bitch is
Singing my Audition Song."
But let's not forget the
title song of the show.
You are delusional
You're never going to
make it your delusional ♪
Find another career choice.
You are delusional. Yeah ♪
- Delusional the musical a
laugh riot that proves dreams
may be crazy, but
the laughter is real
- [Cherry] Delusional
the musical?
- [Betty] Is that just
a metaphor for this show?
- In a world where
fashion meets fromage
and flatulence, one woman is
about to embark on
an adventure of a lifetime.
Cheese Louise is a mild
mannered fashion designer
with a not so mild stomach.
Louise has a secret.
She's lactose intolerant.
Did I happen to mention all
of her designs are
made of cheese?
Join us for this
Broadway musical
that is aged to perfection.
[fart noise]
Stinky Boots will
leave you in stitches
and holding your nose
with musical selections like
"Swiss Me Baby One more Time"
and "Feta one That I Want."
I got curds.
They're multiplying. ♪
And that whey's
outta control ♪
And that lactose
you're providing ♪
[fart sound]
My bowels are dying.
- [Ruthie] She's a real gas
- [Betty] Who cut the cheese?
- Get ready for a viral
sensation like no other.
As we take you on a
journey into Grumpy Cats
the musical.
Introducing Grumpy Cat
This raining
monarch of RBF preps
her social media presence
as the influencer ball draws
near. Will she be chosen
to rebirth into newfound meme
hood? Or will grumpy glory
slip through her
claws once again?
Hold on to your smartphones
and prepare to
O-M-G, W-T-F and LOL
during this way off Broadway
masterpiece critics are calling
a formidable flop,
perplexing and catastrophic.
Even the Sugarbakers can't
help but to sing
History. Please delete
my search history ♪
Don't want no one to find me
with this beep on my phone ♪
- [Betty] Meow.
- [Cherry] Is that a Furby?
[upbeat funky music]
Hello. Hello Campers
What a great show.
Tt was fabulous ♪
- That's our
Broadway. That was it.
[Campers laughing]
- Well it truly was a
magical musical experience.
You all took us
on a trip tonight.
I tell you, we have some
tough decisions to make
because as you know, there
are nine of you right now.
- But only eight
Sing-Along Badges.
So unfortunately at
the end of tonight, one
of you will be taking a hike.
- [Ruthie] So we are
going to send you off
to the rec room while we
have some discussions.
- Bye - Bye. Bye
campers. See you soon.
- Now you wrote a musical.
- I did. It is called
Delusional the Musical.
- It's so funny that you
wrote a musical about Lulu.
We need to get into some things.
- Rip Em.
- Oh, we were talking about
how we were going to use our
ukulele for this daily activity
and Rip Em out of nowhere
and came up with
their little bodies
and said Please,
please Patty please
give us the ukulele.
And Patty said, fuck no.
- You think you were wronged
by the ukulele situation?
- Oh, I was crying 'cause
we had our ukulele.
- Oh, okay. Alright.
- I can be looked up on Spotify.
I got original music and all
of it's played with a ukulele.
It is my brand.
- Ooh,
- You better work.
- All right, Rip
Em this is for you.
[campers laughing]
- [Patty] Ukulele Gate. Like I
thought it would be fun
in a daily activity.
to kind of like
mix it up a little bit.
The talent show
is, is one thing,
but like, you know,
singing a camp song
for the Sugarbakers is another.
- [Stevie] Oh, I feel like
we're all probably on the same
page there. Honestly.
- [Rip] I think so too. I
don't think we would ever let
anyone you know go out looking
a fool of any kind.
- [Nutella] Patty,
I still love you.
- [Stevie] We love Patty.
- I love,
- Love you so much.
- [Patty] All together.
1, 2, 3, Patty 1, 2, 3.
[fart sound]
[campers laughing]
- What a fun day today has been.
- I love The Great White Way.
- Yes.
- Yeah. The daily activity
and the Talent Show.
Both just went so well together
and all of our campers
were phenomenal.
- I would say they
were fabulous.
So let's talk about that
daily activity first.
the sing along contest.
- [Ruthie] Everyone did
so great. They were funny.
They were clever. I really was
shocked at how great it was
- At this point I'm not shocked
because we do a fabulous
job casting the show.
- Oh, of course. So you know.
If you thinkg of a
camp sing along song,
that song that Ivanna,
Lulu and Martina
did was very catchy.
Easy to like follow
along and sing along to.
And it was also really
funny in Campy it
- It was, I can see people
singing that for years
and years around the campfire.
'cause it just was so
catchy and cute and perfect.
- It was much simpler than
the other two. Yes, yes.
But it was very, very catchy.
- The second group,
which was Patty, YouNeek
and Stevie really blew it
out of the water for me.
- And that's why you
- Always pack toilet paper.
- It was complicated as a
whole for a sing-along song.
But they incorporated
a sing-along element,
which was key.
The hook to the
assignment. They got
- Everybody singing along.
- They got everybody
singing along. Yeah.
And when YouNeek jumped in
with the rap, it was Oh wow.
Oh wow. I was just
blown away again. Yeah.
Rip Em, Nutella and
Hanna unfortunately had
to follow the toilet paper song.
But also really, really
did a phenomenal job.
- I agree. Delightful.
- Only one can represent us in
the Tri-County All-Camp
Sing-Along contest
- Which is a real thing.
- So by the end of
this talent show,
we gotta figure out which one
of these songs is
gonna be the winner.
- Well, speaking of the
talent show, I love Broadway.
And these hilarious
original ideas
for musicals just had me
gagging all night long.
- I thought Nutella was
brew-tiful. - The tap dancing.
She was on ballet shoes
yesterday. Tap dancing today.
- Talk about a reveal.
- Also a thirst trap.
Well, I tell you what, I
just loved Patty Bourree.
Oh, the arms and the headpiece.
It was just immaculately done.
But then also you
just look head to toe
and you know what it is.
You get the concept.
- It was one of my
favorites of the night.
I think that combination of
Thoroughly Modern Millie
this twenties flapper
and Jurassic Park, the, I
mean it was just so hilarious.
And then she tap
dances like crazy.
I also really liked Stevie.
How clever was that?
To take the musical
Cats and make it Rats
- And the little mini us.
- Oh, the little
mini us in the hair.
- The funny thing with Stevie's
is when he first came up
there, I didn't recognize him.
- I didn't either.
I wasn't sure.
- It was so good. Which one
of these campers was that?
- Who's this? But can we also
talk about YouNeek though?
Because that was a performance
and to think about, I'm going
to make a musical
about the props.
- Yes. And then to be the
Witch's Broom from Wicked,
which is such a great prop to
make this fake musical around.
- Props to YouNeek
- Martina.
Again, I just felt that there
could have been more to it.
The story was good. I
thought the idea was great.
I think the idea of delusional
the musical is really
funny and really clever.
I would've preferred it to
be a little more over the top
with the delusions.
I get it, you've got funky
teeth, you look weird.
But what else? That's
not delusional.
- People with funky
teeth have talent. - Yeah
- There's a look that
I actually liked,
but I think compared
to everyone else,
I would put toward the bottom,
and I hate to say
it would be Ivanna's
because given the critique
that we gave Ivanna yesterday,
I feel like she amped
up the camp today.
The problem is I didn't
really enjoy the story as much
as the others.
- The punchlines in the
story weren't quite campy
enough. They weren't
zingy enough.
- From the neck down,
she kinda lost me a little bit.
- I love the headpiece though.
- Well well have we
made some decisions?
- I think so.
- Let's call back our campers
- Campers, la la la la.
- The winner of Camp Wannakiki
will receive a stupendous
prize package,
including Itza Pola
a fabulous custom foam
wig by season four camper,
Pola frost.
Shimmer and shine with a year
supply of glittery makeup
by Elektra Cosmetics.
Set sail baby. An all
expense paid cruise
provided by Dream Vacations
and adventuresbymaps.com.
All this and $10,000
in cold hard cash
provided by Hamburger Mary's
where you can eat, drink,
and be Mary Baby.
- [Betty] Welcome back campers.
We have had a very tough time
making some tough decisions
because as you know
there are nine of you,
but only eight
Sing-Along badges.
So one of you tonight will
be taking a hike. Ooh,
- Ugh.
But first let's talk
about the daily activity.
Yes. Did you all enjoy it?
- Yes!
- We enjoyed it
I think I speak
for my cousins when I say
that we were blown away
by all three teams.
While we love them
all, there was one
that stood out a little
bit more than the others.
And that was the team of
Patty, Stevie and YouNeek.
- Oh. Thank you.
- So congratulations for
winning the daily camp activity.
Very, very nice job campers.
And nice job to all of you.
And good luck at the Tri-County
All-Camp Sing-Along contest,
- Which is of
course a real thing.
- Alright, so now I'm gonna
call out a few names.
Nutella Fitzgerald,
Lulu CKystals,
Hanna Barbeara,
YouNeek NuYork.
And Rip Em.
Congratulations,
you all have earned
your Sing-Along badge.
- Oh
- You can wait
backstage for the
badging ceremony.
You four campers represent
the tops and the bottoms.
Today at camp. We
would like to talk
to the top two campers first.
And that is Stevie
Phoenix and Patty Bourree.
- Thank you.
- Congratulations.
Unfortunately, Martina
and Ivanna, if you could
wait backstage in the rec room
we'll call you back in a bit.
- Thank you.
Thank you
- Patty and Stevie.
Congratulations for being
in the top two today.
Thank you so much.
- Patty, your second time here.
- Oh I know. Little imposter
syndrome tonight for sure.
I was really, really excited
about my flapper-saurus.
I love this concept
and it just as I
was putting it on,
like really wasn't
coming together
and I had people helping me
like get the headpiece on in a
way that it could just
go out and perform and,
and thankfully I was able
to to get it to that point.
I feel really happy about that
and really thankful to
the people who helped me.
- The whole concept of
this was just hilarious.
- I fell in love
with this from the minute
your voiceover started.
I thought it was a
brilliant concept.
And then you tap dance,
- Right?
- You didn't even have to.
- It was just like
the icing on the cake.
and you tap dance well
- Thank you
- Like you're not jacking
around up there like
you are nailing it.
- My dance teacher
will be proud.
- Stevie, this is your
first time in the top two
How are you feeling?
- Overwhelmed.
I think Patty hit it on the
nose when she mentioned imposter
syndrome because when
you dismissed the campers
who were safe, my stomach
started to drop and I
was like, oh no, what
if they hated it?
Because you know,
you just never know.
Like things are funny to me
but I don't know if my humor
is always gonna translate.
So to be here I am having
an out of body experience.
I'm gonna go full
dissociative very soon
- And I want tickets to Rats.
- Yeah,
- You got it. I will be in the
front row. God damnit.
- Fantastic. I've just gotta
write it and produce it.
It shouldn't take more
than like five years.
- If you know anything about
us, it's like gag us with a gag
and we're gagged, you know.
- And Gooped. Gooped and gagged
- And both of your stories
were so well written
and you were both on the
winning team today as well.
But there can only
be one winner.
So tonight, congratulations
Patty Bourree.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
[register dinging]
- Congratulations. You've
just earned $500 cash.
- It feels like that six
figure theater degree is
finally paying off.
[judges laughing]
And I'd like to retire to
the rec room now. Please.
[everyone laughing]
- Yeah, I'll grab your
big head. I got you.
It's getting bigger by the day.
- I'm feeling very
emotional at the moment
because I'm very proud of my
look for tonight's talent show.
So hopefully I make it.
I was in the bottom two last
night, and here I am again.
So let's see what
this verdict is
and if not then I'll just
keep being in the bottom
and keep kicking 'em out.
Slowly but shortly.
- Martina Brookshire
and Ivanna Peessa.
Unfortunately today you
two are in the bottom.
So Ivanna, how are
you feeling right now?
- You know, I'm a
little emotional.
I mean obviously I was really
excited for this challenge.
I'm really proud of what I
did tonight, but I understand
because it's such a strong
season that it's just cut down
to the little details.
- I will say that I
love this headpiece.
It really pops. I can
tell that you put a lot
of effort in doing
some more stoning.
You took our critiques
from yesterday
and really amped
this up a little bit.
- The story was, it was
kind of a, you know,
take on the song from Mame.
I played Auntie Mame
myself as well. - Okay.
So I do love all of that.
But it just wasn't
as campy maybe
as your competitors were
today, to be honest.
So I think that's kind of
what landed you in the spot.
- Martina, tell us
how you're feeling.
- I am very sad,
but it's a double-edged sword
because I started writing this
musical during the pandemic
with one of my friends
during Zoom meetings.
And it's not finished
completely yet.
But it was very wonderful
to bring a character
that we created
from life stories
because we all know this person.
- I know two of 'em. Oh,
- Specifically with you.
I we, we felt like you maybe
could have gone a little
further with like
some malfunctions
and it wasn't just the
teeth, it was like there are
so many other things
wrong with this person
who thinks she's just the
greatest and so delusional.
By the way, your story, you
said that it's your musical?
- Yeah. I wrote it.
- I want to go see it.
- Where's it playing? You
said that it's not finished
and I feel like that is kind of
what I'm getting from this
look in a way. It could be a
little bit more slap sticky,
a little more over the top.
We wanna give each
of you an opportunity
to tell us why you think you
should get the last badge.
- I know that there's other
factors in this competition
besides presentation.
I know that I'm a little
more quiet and shy
and I do struggle
with this a lot
just in my past, just in
general as out of drag.
So I really just
want y'all to know
that I'm listening
to your critiques
and I just want to
be here so, so badly
with these amazing competitors.
- Thank you. Martina.
- I have worked very hard
to bring different
looks, different faces,
different paints.
Like I said yesterday, I
don't paint like yesterday.
I sure as hell don't paint
like this on a daily basis.
I am doing the best
to amp up my camp.
I don't wanna, I don't
wanna cry in my ugly face.
- Well you are both such
amazing comedy campy
queens and we'd love to
have you both stay longer,
but unfortunately there
are just not enough badges
for everyone.
So we're gonna write on
our chalkboards, the name
of the camper who we think
should get that last badge.
- I love you. I love you.
Don't worry, you'll be okay.
- So I thought that there's
a little bit more I'd like
to see from Martina.
- Oh, - I would also like to
see a lot more from Martina,
but I did vote for Ivanna.
And that's a pizza,
not a strawberry.
I just drew a piece of pizza.
- Oh my - Fucking head. That's
only because I'm hungry.
- Thank you so much. -
Congratulations. Ivanna Peessa.
You have earned the
last sing-along badge.
You may wait backstage.
- Thank you so much,
I love you.
- Go kill it.
- Oh Martina, I feel
like I am just getting
to know you and that's a shame
that you have to take a hike
so soon because I feel like you
are a spectacular performer.
And also I just get a feeling
that you're a lovely person.
Oh, thank So I'm really
glad that you came
to Camp Wannakiki this season.
Thank you. - We're gonna
come visit you in Vegas
and we're gonna watch your show.
Let us know when it debuts.
- Please do.
- We can write it off 'cause
we can visit a Hamburger
Mary's there. Oh yeah.
Write off. It's even better.
- A good old tax write off.
- Martina, I am never
coming to visit you.
I'm joking. I'm joking.
And we adore you
and I know that we're
going to be seeing big,
big things from you in
the very near future.
- Thank you. Thank you so
much for this opportunity.
It has been a whirlwind
of emotions and love
and support and I wanted
to do this for a while
and I finally got the
opportunity to do it
and I couldn't ask
for a better time.
So thank you. From the
bottom of my heart.
- Well Martina Brookshire,
we will visit you in Vegas.
But unfortunately tonight my
dear, you have to take a hike.
- Thank you.
- Exit
- Stage left? Stage
right? Front and center?
I'll figure it out.
[upbeat campy music]
Camp it up at
Camp Wannakiki
[bright guitar music]
Well, it happened.
They are sending me on my
hike. But you know what?
I'm actually okay with it.
I came and I accomplished a
few things while I was here.
I made it on the show. So
that's always a silver lining.
I made a bunch of
amazing friends
and now people that I
can truly call my family.
I want all of my
viewers to know,
don't give up on yourself.
You are creative,
you are wonderful
and you are art.
No matter what anyone
says, your art matters.
So make sure you come
to Vegas and see me.
I'll even marry you. I'm a
wedding officiant in Vegas.
Well, it's time to
go back to Vegas.
Anybody know which way that is?
Well I guess it's not that
way 'cause that's water.
So guess I'm going across
this creepy tunnel.
I got gigs to do. Honey,
come see me in Vegas.
It's been real
everyone. Bye-Bye.
- Bitch, bitch, bitch.
[audience laughing
and screaming]
[Audience laughing]
- In the Tri-County All-Camp.
Fuck me.
- Yes,
- In the Tri-County
all camp.
Sing along. Fuck. What is it?
Sing along contest?
- In the Tri-County
[Ruthie laughing]
[campers laughing]
- And that's a pizza,
not a strawberry.
- Thank you. You spelled
my first name wrong
but it's okay. I'll forgive you.
- Two N's. There's another.
- There's a double N.
There is two N's,
but it's just sloppy.
- Oh, sloppy bitch.
- She's a sloppy bitch.
- I know she is