Comedy Connections (2003) s06e03 Episode Script

How do I look? Green.
Yeah, it's all come together nicely, hasn't it? You look like Robin Hood in drag.
We were the first series to have two actresses as the leading parts.
Derek's more likely to be attracted to me because I'm a lady.
What do you think I am, a bloody fella?! All of it was implied and therefore it could be absolutely anything.
I don't mind boasting about my writing work because I wasn't really good at much else.
My husband would be tall and sensitive, with artistic hands and a love of music.
All she needs is a poof with a violin.
The Liver Birds is still one of the most influential British comedies ever written.
Not only was it the first successful show to be written by and starring women, but amazingly, during its life, it survived the loss of two main characters and was so well loved in the 1970s, it was brought back for a controversial reunion in the 1990s.
It made Carla Lane one of the BBC's most successful sitcom writers as she went on to write some of its most popular comedies over the next three decades.
But her relationship with dear old Auntie didn't start well when she wanted to read one of her first scripts on BBC radio.
I didn't have the accent that the BBC had in those days - snobs.
She met more like-minded people at her local writers' club as she became friends with fellow young mum Myra Taylor.
Wonderful green eyes she had, and black hair and she was Big mouth, long before all this collagen came in.
And a lovely looking girl and full of fire, and I adored her company.
And she wrote well, too.
Deciding to pool their talents, the partnership of Lane and Taylor came up with a surreal script about a dog.
It was a little daschund and he was complaining about the height of the pavements, because of his particular anatomy.
And the damage it was doing.
And that was our sense of humour.
The BBC's Head Of Comedy, Michael Mills, liked their sense of humour and invited the Liverpool housewives to London.
And he said, "What would you like to do?" We thought we were in a dream.
'cause we'd done nothing in particular.
And we both said, "Well" "Well," he said, "You're women.
Write about two women living together.
" And we said "Well, OK, we could do flat sharing.
" And so the married mothers were commissioned to write about two single girls on the loose.
It should have been frightening, but there was something about us, we weren't frightened of anything, really.
Although, obviously, you know, you think, "Oh, can I do it, can I do this?" Mills was impressed with their efforts and brought in sitcom expert Sydney Lotterby.
Sydney had worked on shows like Sykes in 1964, the Likely Lads in '65 and the one off Sheila Hancock special, Simply Sheila, in 1968.
He met Carla and Myra at a memorable read through with actresses Pauline Collins and Polly James.
There were, what? Five people there, two ladies round about my age, with quite short skirts, because it was the '60s, and Polly and Pauline, who I knew about Pauline, but I'd never seen Polly in my life.
I think I always thought that I was going to be the leading dramatic actress of the century.
Polly James' dramatic TV career began on BBC Two's 30 Minute Theatre followed by a part as a drug addict in Z Cars in 1967.
The following year, Polly appeared in Coronation Street, where she got to practise a few chat up lines.
There was an awfully good documentary on TV last night about North Sea Gas.
Oh, I was watching the show-jumping myself.
Oh.
I was in the middle of a West End musical called Anne Of Green Gables and I was asked to go to the then Head Of Comedy.
Michael Mills, who was the boss, had arranged it so that Pauline was doing Polly's part and Polly was doing Pauline's part.
And we swapped the parts around.
And we read a bit more and everyone said "Yes, it's best that way.
" So, that's how it all started.
In April 1969, the pilot was shown as an episode of Comedy Playhouse, the BBC's breeding ground for sitcoms.
Michael Mills came up with the title.
"The Liver Birds"! I said, "I don't like it.
" But anyway, I kept my mouth shut.
And he liked it and it worked, didn't it? It was right in the end.
It went very well with the audience and we all knew that they were going to be a series.
And so there it was.
Series one of The Liver Birds was transmitted in July 1969, starring Pauline Collins as Dawn and Polly James as Beryl, just three months after the original pilot.
It was very quick for two ermwriters who'd never done much before, hadn't done anything before.
Sydney had worked with actor George Layton on The Likely Lads and cast him as Beryl's boyfriend Joe in the first episode.
I remember this funny sequence, where the character I played, Joe the boyfriend, was checking the oil in his car.
Polly waved a handkerchief in a flirtatious way and I just used the hankie to wipe the dipstick.
But Polly's hectic schedule on Anne Of Green Gables was in danger of scuppering Carla and Myra's TV career before it had hardly begun.
It was too much.
I mean, every evening she was in the theatre, and all day with me rehearsing.
So eventually what happened, after three, three or four, I can't remember, they said, "Look, let's stop this.
"This is silly.
Let's stop it for her.
" Sydney had to wait two years until Polly was available, but now he had another big problem.
Pauline Collins had moved to Belgravia in LWT's Upstairs Downstairs.
Were Carla and Myra's Liver Birds ever going to take flight? It was terribly difficult because, I don't know, I couldn't seem to find someone from Liverpool.
Sydney thought he was on to a winner when he remembered Nerys Hughes, who had made her screen debut on Liverpool drama Z Cars in 1963, before working with him in a Northern sitcom.
I did a part in Likely Lads as Jimmy Bolam's girlfriend for two episodes.
I thought, "She's from Liverpool," thinking that Nerys came from Liverpool.
She doesn't, of course.
She's Welsh.
And he said would I like to come and read for The Liver Birds? She did a wonderful reading and I gave her the job.
There really never was a point at which Nerys joined.
It was really always Nerys and myself.
And that's no disrespect to Pauline, but that was all in some kind of trial period.
The Liver Birds finally took off again on 7th January 1971.
Polly returned as Beryl with Nerys playing her new flatmate Sandra.
And this time we saw Liverpool in full glorious Technicolor.
Liverpool had never been seen.
It was nice to be able to film in places that had back to backs.
And, er the Mersey and all of that.
It was just a great place to set it in.
As well as a distinctive look, Liverpool also had a distinct sound.
Liverpool has a very definite accent, as you know.
It's sort of, "'Ello there, girl.
" "You all right, love?" "Oh, isn't she lovely?" It's a lot like that.
I didn't come from Liverpool.
I came from Blackburn.
VERY POSH: A, E, I, O, U.
THICK LIVERPOOL ACCENT: A, E, I, O, U.
And so I never tried to do much of a Liverpool accent.
I want you to repeat it until you get it right.
Theyseemyoldpew.
They see me old pew! No.
Nerys was much nearer to it because she came from Rhyl.
We even speak Welsh with a Liverpool accent in Rhyl.
SHE SPEAKS WELSH Can you hear it? It's kind of got a Liverpool accent.
But while the girls lived it up in Liverpool, their creators were writing their scripts in a B and B in London where the studios were - and their husbands weren't.
So I used to hare back to Liverpool on the train, and and back to London, and he saw me off.
And I used to look at him and think, "Oh, what am I doing to my family?" But I had to do it.
You know, it was just something Talent, I believe it is called, that I had, and I had to follow it.
Though they abandoned their families, they still had each other, and both brought something different to the party.
Aren't you going to carry me over the threshold? We knew we had to have one, one way and one the other, and you had it on a plate.
Myra/Carla.
Polly was Myra.
I'm just giving millions of things to Oxfam again.
Full of the devil.
Said what she thought.
As a matter of fact, I don't want to borrow nothing.
I want you to do something for me.
So do a lot of fellas.
I was from the nice family and a little bit sort of, "Oh, no, you can't do that.
" I became Sandra.
The Mona Lisa.
She never changes, does she? Of course not.
That's how Leonardo painted her.
I wonder what she's smiling at? Even the great scholars can't answer that one.
Me mam smiles like that when she's soaking her feet in a bowl of hot water.
Beryl, you are basic.
How can you compare a work of art with your mam soaking her feet in a bowl of water? We used each other as characters.
We buried ourselves under the bed clothes.
She was in one corner screaming her head off.
I was in the other.
And we must have sounded like a couple of banshees.
It wasn't just the writers who worked well together.
The rapport between Polly and myself was fairly instant.
It was excellent, it happened in a twinkling, really.
We just fitted together.
We learned our lines sipping Pernod milkshakes.
SHE LAUGHS I mean they must have been ghastly, mustn't they? Pernod milkshakes! They had a lot of fun together.
Screams of laughter used to come from their dressing room.
What shall I do, Beryl? Well, it's your problem.
You brought her here, you sort her out.
Very nice.
Friends are supposed to share their problems.
You're right.
I'll share yours if you'll share mine.
Come and sit down.
What have you got there? Gwyneth! The core of the series was friendship, definitely.
They'd either fallen out I'm still trying to say I'm sorry! It's my fault! No, it's my fault! Or they were best, best, best bosom buddies.
I'll tell you what, give us that sausage and we'll call it quits, I'll come.
We were two girls sharing secrets, which could be overheard by the audience.
He's not like any other fellow I've ever met.
I mean, he likes books and paintings and nice old buildings.
He's really one of your lot.
At least you're going for a bit of culture.
That'll make a change.
The last one you had was awful.
Sitting there cramming chips between his goggles and his muffler.
He looked like a waste disposal unit.
Well, I gave him up.
He never even took his crash helmet off.
I never saw what he looked like.
I did.
That's why I gave him up.
Women sharing the fantasy of life.
He's kind, tender and reliable.
So is washing-up liquid.
Drama comes from the kinds of differences where people of one social strata get on with people of another.
And so their friendship flourished, even though they were from different backgrounds.
Then you can get fun out of the pretentiousness and the rawness.
We're not quite the same, are we? The way we speak, for a start.
Well, I do it with my mouth.
I don't know about you.
You saw it very clearly, the difference in the characters, by the mothers.
Common, you know, and posh.
And I always love that difference, because in my life, I've had a lot of that.
Oh, Mrs Hennessey, you're here too.
Well, she is my daughter you know.
Oh, it must make you feel very old seeing your children all grown up.
Of course, I was lucky, I had my children very young.
My kids were quite young when they was born an all.
Sheila Fay was Beryl's mum, Mrs Hennessey and Molly Sugden played the posh Mrs Hutchinson.
Oh, Mrs Hutchison, I think she was my mother.
I'm sure she was my mother.
She played this obnoxious, terrible snob.
False alarm! Oh, that girl.
She's got about as much culture as a compost heap.
She always sat with her handbag like this.
And she'd go, "Oh!" And it seemed that Mrs Hutchinson's pretensions had rubbed off on her daughter Sandra.
She thought that she was terribly knowledgeable and posh.
You're not still reading War And Peace, are you? Which I think I must have read for about 38 episodes.
It's taking you longer to read it than Agatha Christie took to write it.
It was absolutely typical Sandra.
Their differences extended to the way they looked, too.
It was a very good contrast in a way, because I was sort of curvy and brunette, and Polly was blonde and tiny.
What are the measurements, love? 35, 24, 35.
Being single girls on prime time TV, it was no surprise the actresses became '70s crumpet.
All the men in the BBC fell in love with Nerys.
You will be representing the club and the associations Miss Hot Pants of 1972 competition! CHEERING AND WOLF-WHISTLING That's the most surprising thing about me being a bit of a pin up, because to tell you the truth, I wasn't at all a pin up.
I was terribly ordinary.
Polly was attractive, but in a very different way.
Not all bubbly and cuddly, and tight sweaters and little skirts.
You know, a bit boy-like.
How do you like my new image, Sand? Well, it's different.
I've borrowed your bra.
And what the Lord has forgotten I've stuffed with cotton.
They just went together beautifully.
But at the end of the second series, a beautiful off-screen relationship was over.
While Carla was flourishing in London, Myra missed her family too much and decided to leave the show to return to Liverpool.
I watched her getting in the taxi, dragging her case, tripping over the way she did.
She was very awkward.
And I had tears in my eyes.
I thought, "Oh, what am I going to do?" I was a bit concerned to start off with, obviously, because, you know, the two of them, take one away.
But Carla turned up with the goods.
And I knew how to write Sandra and I knew how to write our Beryl.
Because although I was a Sandra, I began my married life living in Over the top of a pub with my new husband in Prescott Street.
You don't get lower than that.
And I knew everything that went on.
So I did manage both.
And I liked doing it.
But with 13 new episodes commissioned for series three, Michael Mills felt it was too much for Carla to undertake by herself.
Old pro Lew Schwarz had leant a hand in series one, but now Carla discovered writing duo Jack Seddon and David Pursall would be writing six episodes.
Oh, God, that.
That nearly killed me.
Yeah I mean, what can I say? They wrote like fellas.
They weren't empathetic.
They were, ermvoyeuristic! I remember a football match, the shorts were terribly short, and also there was a girl with huge breasts, who was so big-breasted that she fell over.
And that's a man joke, isn't it? It was very funny, but it wasn't Carla.
They were, tonally, not the same somehow.
They had no idea of how a woman thought.
So the blokiness lasted for only one series and Carla became sole writer of The Liver Birds.
She seized the chance to give it some balls of her own.
What have you got there? SEX IN THE Shh! (Sex In The '70s.
) Trust you! It's given me something to look forward to.
I thought you had to give it up at 65.
I was more modern than the cast.
And than the BBC.
I mean, I was older, and I knew more about life.
Oh, Beryl, it's not a mind you've got.
It's a pornographic novel.
Liver Birds was a bit risque, they thought sometimes.
I tried to be risque.
What about Paul and David, then? All they ever do is take us to those Chinese restaurants with those horrible chopsticks.
Well, I manage.
Oh, yeah.
You do.
I come home dead hungry with half me king prawns down me bra.
There were sexual references, and we did have lots of boyfriends.
But you couldn't really go into it in detail, or we'd be a couple of slags, wouldn't we? A lot about teasing.
You'd never get away with anything like that now.
Sandra, I did enjoy the steak.
Mm! I did enjoy the wine.
Mm! They were naughty girls who lead men on, and then, you know, don't give them satisfaction! So what's for afters? Mm! I mean, no! No, Aubrey, we hardly know each other.
If you can come in and say "I had great sex last night.
" "Oh, really?" There's nowhere to go from there.
If you can come in and say "He didn't go till half past ten.
" The other person is intrigued, aren't they? It isn't actually explicit.
And I think it would have been an uncomfortable series, having two girls with lots of boys in and out the whole time Oh, no, don't say that! It did have an innocence about it, which I wouldn't write now because it doesn't exist either in me or the world.
But there was an innocence in the world then.
We weren't even allowed to talk about the pill, which is ridiculous.
It was happening.
But there we are.
Carla eventually decided to go all the way by proposing Beryl break a TV taboo and spend the night with her boyfriend.
DOORBELL RINGS Coming! When I gave the synopsis, which sometimes I did, if I was worried, and told them that she was going to stay the night, oh, my God! I thought, "Oh, heavens! This is not going to work.
" I said, "Look, I'm doing it.
" This is the, erm LAUGHTER Er, would you like? No, I'll keep it on, thank you very much.
When I read the end of the script, I thought, "Oh, clever Carla!" She was like this with her bag.
Serviette? Ta.
Don't want to get your bag wet, do we? No, I don't.
The lock might rust.
I mean, nothing happened.
But it wouldn't have been allowed to have happened.
These days, I mean, come on.
Every second word is F and it's, "Who am I going to jump into bed with tonight?" I don't want to rush you or anything like that.
I mean, when you really care about someone, you have to be delicate and subtle.
Yes.
We've been together for two hours and you haven't even put your bloody bag down! I think we were the two oldest virgins that ever appeared on television! Virgins they might have been, but The Liver Birds led the way and showed that women could successfully take the lead.
Because they were girls, with girls' views.
Talking about the things that girls, you know, nudge-nudge, talk about.
Did I ask what you were doing on the sofa? You didn't have to.
This sofa gives its own running commentary.
Four twangs and a boing and my secrets are out.
A lot of people were hearing that for the first time.
We were really, you know, really a rare little set up, and everybody made the most of it.
And the press were always around us.
I remember going to a football ground with Molly.
We were doing a personal appearance of some sort.
And a man got hold of my tits.
And Molly just got her handbag out and hit him on the head.
SHE CHUCKLES Despite viewers of up to 16 million, being involved in The Liver Birds wasn't always glamorous, as Carla kept the girls on their toes.
On top of all that there was the author's well known love of animals to try and cope with, too.
I remember Nerys wrestling with a great big dog.
It's very difficult filming animals.
Help! Police! Fire! Rape! Rape! Rape! They don't portray sadness or happiness when you want to.
They just sit there, panting, don't they? Because of the lights.
So you don't get anything out of them.
If animals weren't tricky enough, talking and eating a chip butty simultaneously also had to be mastered.
I can't get my mouth round it.
What do you want, a made to measure? Come here, Sandra.
We were always eating cornflakes.
Listen to yourself.
SHE CRUNCHES Polly said to me one day, "Carla, can you give me a line where me gob isn't full?" Nobody can eat cornflakes quiet.
And Carla's interior design ideas were rather unusual.
We had in our flat, we had a commode.
I said to Carla, "What's this?" She said, "It's a commode.
" and I said "That's a lavatory, isn't it?" I said, "Yeah.
" But I said, "It's an antique lavatory, and that's funny.
There it is.
The, erIOUs You know, things would go wrong, and we were not allowed to stop.
She was meant to have sat down on the commode, and I'd forgotten to put the lid down.
And I sat down and went right down into it.
"IOU 6 guineas, Sandra.
"?! Oh, well, you can't expect me to go to Torremolinos looking like a rat bag.
Wha?! LAUGHTER And I started laughing, and the tears were rolling down my cheeks.
Well, what did you buy for six guineas? Chinchilla knickers? And Syd Lotterby put the clicker down.
You know, from the gallery, and said, "Girls, if you can't be quiet, will you leave the studio?" Oh, dear me, how can I be stern? I can't be.
But I had to tell them off once or twice, yes.
Some of Carla's ideas were obviously potty, but not when it came to developing her characters.
I hadn't had a lot of experience of life and men.
I went to a girls' boarding school, and I was a tea-totaller.
And I think to a certain degree, an awful lot of Sandra was rather green.
As you do more episodes, things which have made people laugh erm, get repeated, and they get accentuated, and I've never minded people making fun of my size, my accent, my this, my that.
It feels like a natural placement for me.
And I'd worn a pair of yellow tights at some point.
To a hungry wolf, I look like a packed lunch.
Somebody said, "You look like a chicken.
" Clearly, with my chin as well.
Chicken chin and chicken legs.
Foxes eat chickens.
Sand, I've got my chicken leg tights on.
In the end, what I did was to give to each character what I think suited them and the way they talked and the way they looked.
And it's a good rule to go by.
It's like fitting them with a dress.
That dress would suit Polly, it certainly wouldn't suit Nerys.
And the dresses the girls wore not only reflected their individually, they were also ultra-fashionable for the mid-'70s.
I think I probably wore things that I would never have had the guts to wear.
High heeled shoes and very long And what do you call these funny little trousers? Mr Freedom dungarees.
Bright blue with yellow teddy bears all over them.
Still got them, they're about that size.
There was an unrestricted feel to life.
And it was reflected in what you wore.
The skirts went up.
And up.
I remember them, sitting down in front of them, rehearsing, with their tiny short skirts and thinking to myself, "I've got to stand up.
"All I can see is knickers!" By series four, Carla felt it was time for The Liver Birds to start thinking about longer-term relationships with boys.
John Nettles played my boyfriend Paul.
He was terribly spidery thin in those days.
And permanently frustrated.
I'm living in the vague hope that you might appreciate having a man about the place.
That the visual effect of the male form might just awaken your dormant passion.
You could just see it in every fibre of his being! It seemed the only thing Paul could pop was the question, and it was odds on that Sandra would be the first Liver Bird to marry.
He's done it!! He's done it! He's proposed! Is that all? I'm going to be a real-live housewife.
I always wanted the Liver Birds not to be too keen about marriage.
I mean, marriage is not natural.
They teach you all about the birds and the bees, but you've never seen a sparrow wearing a wedding ring.
Not to down it.
Man's the dog and woman's the bone.
He eats the best of you and buries the rest of you.
And when his dish is empty he'll dig you up again.
But not to be out to get a boyfriend to marry, just to enjoy themselves.
Please try and understand, Paul It's just You don't want to spend your life cooking and washing socks.
I don't want to spend my life cooking and washing socks.
I won't eat, and I won't wear socks.
No, I couldn't marry a man who didn't wear socks.
I always like writing weddings, because they're really funny, and ridiculous, let's face it.
So if Carla wanted a wedding, was Paul going to sweet-talk Sandra back to the altar? Give us the phone, come on.
Hello? 'Hello, Beryl?' Robert.
Beryl? 'Yes, Robert?' I've missed you.
It's been awful.
I don't want to be without you ever again.
Yes, Robert? Beryl? Yes, Robert? Will you marry me? Yes, Robert.
But as her character vowed to be faithful for a lifetime, Polly was feeling less committed.
The reason I left the programme in the end was I felt I was in danger of caricaturing what was already a pretty outrageous character.
When Polly said she was leaving, I was heartbroken.
I mean, we were such a team.
Well, of course, that horrified me and terrified me.
And I thought, "This is the end, I should go.
" So once again, it looked like The Liver Birds could face extinction.
Having successfully replaced one Liver Bird back in 1971, were they going to be able to pull it off again? To keep the series going, Sydney had to find a new leading lady.
But it was Nerys who first spotted her potential new flatmate.
I went to see a musical in town called John Paul George, Ringo and Bert.
And I thought "That's the girl.
She'd just be wonderful.
" Elizabeth Estensen had gone straight out of rep into Willy Russell's play in the West End.
Why can't we go to the Empire, Bert? Because The Silver Beatles aren't on at the Empire.
Oh, but The Shadows are.
Taking Nerys' advice, Sydney saw the performance and asked Elizabeth to audition for the part.
And I remember sitting down and reading it, and just imagining I wouldn't get it as I had no experience in television.
She was loud and abrasive and exactly what I wanted.
So after four years as one half of The Liver Birds, the bouncy blonde Beryl was replaced by feisty flame haired Carol.
Hey! Kitchen to living room! Have you got it?! Over and out! She's a lovely lady, lovely actress, had the accent, had the shrug of the shoulder and the grin.
They didn't get on at first, she didn't want her to move in to the flat.
She's so common.
Smug faced cow.
There was an uneasy feeling between them, or, er Carol kept putting her foot in it.
Carol, you better get ready.
You're meeting Leonard in an hour.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, I'll get him to take a picture of you if you like.
He's very keen on faces, especially interesting faces.
You know, used faces.
But eventually, Sandra warmed to her and they became very close, despite their differences.
Now in her fifth series, Carla expanded her range from single life to family life by introducing Carol's relatives, the Boswells.
You're all too lazy! You're running mam off her feet! Look, I go to work and our Barbara goes to work.
He goes to sleep and he's gone to some far off land called Bananas.
They were a close family, they were a dysfunctional family.
The most dysfunctional of the lot was Carol's brother.
You must be Lucien.
Yeah, bloody daft name.
I try not to mention it.
Michael Angelis' TV career had followed a similar route to Polly's with appearances in Coronation Street and Z Cars.
At the audition with Sydney, Michael's performance was what you might call low-key.
I was feeling a bit delicate at the time, so A bit monosyllabic, I suppose.
Sit down.
Thanks.
I think it's a very nice name.
Thanks.
I've been looking forward to meeting you.
Thanks.
Which is kind of where the character came from.
It was just his face, with everything going on inside, and this wonderful humour coming out.
But you mustn't feel upset.
After all, you're alive, aren't you? And you've got your rabbits to think about.
Oh, me rabbits, yeah.
Oh, one day I'll really branch out in a big way, you know.
Fur gloves, fur hats, fur coats.
Don't you get fond of them? Oh, yeah, I love every one of them.
This sleeve was one of my favourites.
Michael Angelis was a native scouser and became Carla's first leading male character.
Lucien had this slow, sort of, dreamy way, you know.
And therefore you could give him quite profound things to say.
I don't know why I buy this paper.
The news is shocking.
I never get upset, I just say to myself, "You're lucky.
" I say, "Just think, there's rabbits dying every day.
" People still say, "How's your rabbits?" and all of that silly nonsense.
I always remember one of the biggest laughs we had, and I always remember it because they couldn't stop laughing.
They had a magazine open.
Oh, Censored, the new magazine.
Will you look inside?! SHE SOBS Ah, it's just people, isn't it? Naked people! Yes, naked people.
Women And men! Let's have a look.
Mrs Hutchinson was putting her case forward in a very, sort of And Mrs Boswell was like this, "You know, you don't want a fella and a girl on a book.
" Have you seen the centre page? Well, there's a man on the right hand page.
A naked man.
And a naked lady on the left hand page.
SHE SOBS And Lucien's sitting listening and he said very dryly She's worrying about what happens when you close the book.
You could not stop them laughing.
The producer had to say like that.
I mean, I think that was probably a television one-off.
But there were plenty more moments of laughter with the unholy alliance between Carol and Sandra's mothers.
My family are good God-fearing Catholics.
What's God got to do with it? She's running God down.
I am not! It's just that I don't see why you're so frightened of him.
He's such a pleasant, bearded gentleman.
I loved writing those two.
What Molly was always terribly clever at doing was, sort of, being pretentious and posh, but it all slipped when she got drunk.
LAUGHTER I thought I did that rather well.
With the Boswell's help, The Liver Birds kept audiences loyal and laughing for another three series, but Carla knew her characters couldn't live that way forever.
I suppose it was the inevitable thing, that she would get married in the end.
Unfortunately for Sandra's husband in series nine, Carol moved in, too.
Sorry to intrude but could someone sort my body out please, I've got my bangle stuck in my sweater? Sandra by this time was so protective of Carol, that wherever she went Carol had to come.
But when Sandra got some news suddenly there was a time limit on their domestic arrangements.
I'm going to have a baby! They were no longer girls by then.
They were women, young women.
And Sandra was married.
Carol was living with Sandra, and their lives were moving on.
And everything was taking a different shape.
We'd been through so many stages of their lives that they were growing up now, or grown up.
It's funny, the way I wanted to cling on to Carol, you know, girls together? Things change don't they? Yes, they do.
And I've got to stop playing games now.
I've got to concentrate on what I AM instead of what I was.
I think we'd done enough and thank goodness, we went out on quite a high.
I think the ratings were still pretty good.
It seemed the right time to end it.
When it ended, I wasn't really too sad because it was a long time, and I'd very much got Butterflies on my mind.
And I needed to write it.
Carla's focus was now shifting to an older solitary housewife, who fantasised about escaping the drudgery of domestic life, and the first series began in 1979.
Oh, my God! It could have been horrendous.
But it turned out to be award-winning.
Butterflies ran for five years, and Sydney Lotterby joined up with Carla for the final two series.
Although Carla had moved on from The Liver Birds, she hadn't forgotten the rabbit loving Lucien Boswell, and took the character to London for a pilot called You, Me and Him.
Pull any trick you know to get out of the washing up.
Oh, nobody liked the washing up in our house, including my mum.
But somebody always gave in at the end of the week.
Unfortunately, it didn't come to anything, but all wasn't lost, as Carla went on to use the Boswell name for the highly popular family in her sitcom Bread.
Nerys Hughes opted for rural life after The Liver Birds, when she went on to star as Megan Roberts in the popular series District Nurse.
An awful lot of it was Nerys in this white apron with the bosoms poking out, and this terrible hat.
Sort of striding through the Welsh countryside, but it was a very dear series.
I enjoyed doing it.
But it seemed Beryl and Sandra continued to live on in the public's imagination, and in 1996, Nerys re-joined Polly James and Michael Angelis in a new series written by Carla.
Of course, everyone was dying to see what had happened to us.
You know, it was a terribly popular idea, to bring it back.
We were 25 years older than we had been, and so moving us on, both from Carla's point of view, to write us that much further on, and keep the characteristics of what we'd had, I think proved quite tricky.
I wasn't terribly keen on doing it.
And he made love to me, right there in the hall.
You mean on the floor? Yes.
Yeah, he used to laugh about it.
"Sweetheart," he'd say, "I think I know now why we call this carpet shag pile.
" Maybe we shouldn't have, but what the heck.
Even thought the '90s series wasn't a success, the legacy of the classic Liver Birds lives on and has continued to pave the way for women in sitcom.
It stopped being acting.
It was just such a heck of a laugh.
Pernod milkshakes, new boyfriends, new people every week, and I loved it.
I would recommend it, you know, to anybody that can write, try and get into television.
Would you like to see my old pew?