iCarly s06e03 Episode Script

- And there ya go.
- Five ham holes.
Okay, since one of our goals is to make iCarly more educational Gross.
Please enjoy iCarly's new Science fact of the day.
If you mix clam juice with soy sauce, you'll explode.
Okay, whoa whoa As a former c-plus science student, I would like to argue with that scientific fact.
- Mm.
Sorry dude.
- Can't argue with science.
Yeah? Well, I happen to have a test tube of clam juice right here And a test tube of soy sauce right here And there.
I drank 'em both down and I'm fine, aren't I? Did you see me explo Thanks for watching iCarly! We gotta go hose the Spencer guts off the walls.
Sam's last joke was for comedic purposes only.
Spencer did not actually explode.
And his guts are not splattered on our walls.
I'm unharmed! And now I go take a shower! - Okay, we gotta skeee-daddle.
- Give cheese a chance! And be sure to follow me! I'm "at cool einstein".
- His tweets are hilarious! - Funny chiz.
- L'chaim! - Shoz-bot! No.
No, Spencer's fine.
It was a joke.
No, listen - Who's she on the phone with? - Her granddad.
Someone told him that Spencer blew up on iCarly.
No, grandad No, just, just go back to your bingo game.
No, Spencer's fine.
Spencer's funeral will be at the lawndale cemetery, Tuesday at four pm.
Instead of flowers, please send fried chicken to his good friend, Sam Puckett.
- Nicely done.
- I know.
Why would he think that we'd actually Hey hey hey! - Hey.
- 'Sup.
Our tv! And our computer! Come out here! Hurry!!! Hey, look at this Someone broke the lock and kicked the door in.
We've been robbed! No.
Oh, no no no no no no no no no no It's okay.
They didn't get the bacon.
What happened?! What's wrong?! What's wrong?! What happened?! - You wanna know what happened?! - And what's wrong! - You've been robbed.
- R ?! What?! - Did they get the bacon?! - Nope.
They stole our computer and our tv! They took our technology! Why are you wearing my robe? 'Cuz I was taking a shower and you screamed for me, - and this was on the hook.
- Well take it off.
Okay.
- No.
- Not here!!! In 5, 4, 3, 2.
I know you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there and feel so wonderful and it's all for real I'm telling you just how I feel so wake up the members of my nation it's your time to be there's no chance unless you take one and the time to see the brighter side of every situation some things are meant to be so give me your best and leave the rest to me leave it all to me leave it all to me just leave it all to me - Hey.
- Oh hey.
Sam told me the cops found your tv and computer? Yeah.
They sent us pictures.
- Mm.
- See, there's our tv.
They found it in a dumpster behind el taco guapo.
Ulch.
Who's that guy sleeping next to it? - I dunno, some dude.
- His pants are so dirty.
I don't think he cares.
- Hey, have you seen Gibby? - Nah.
Sam went to look for him.
I'm kinda worried.
It's not like Gibby to skip two classes in a row.
I know.
Is it too late for you to love me? - What? - Nothin'.
- Did you just say - No.
Hey hey, you guys.
I found Gibby.
- Is he okay? - Yeah.
Well, he's Gibby, so, yeah - Where is he? - In the basement.
This school doesn't have a basement.
That's what I thought.
Come.
Come with me - Where are you taking us? - You shall see - Welcome.
- To what? - To my dream.
- Your dream? As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to have my own restaurant.
Gibby If you open a restaurant in this basement, you're gonna get caught.
I will not.
Nobody's been down here for like twenty years.
And that's a concrete ceiling.
I bet you can't hear anything through that.
Yeah, and look.
It's got a sink electrical Rat poop Everything ya need wh are you guys actually encouraging Gibby to open a restaurant in here?! Beneath our school?! What? Are you upset they're not spitting on my dream, dream spitter? I'm not spitting on your dream, I'm just Where else am I gonna open up a restaurant? I can't do it on the roof.
I'd be visible to helicopters.
Will you tell this boy he can't open a restaurant in our school?! Gib, you can't Would there be lasagna? Heck yeah there would! How 'bout tater tots? Momma loves me some tater tots.
Then momma gonna get her some tater tots.
- Why are you against this? - Yeah! Why? Okay.
I have class.
You guys wanna stay down here and plan a restaurant Or a shoe store Or a waterpark go for it.
All right.
I'm gonna follow Carly up.
Hey You got a new little crush on her? No.
- Well go.
- Bye.
- Too close.
- Right.
You wanna get together tonight and study for our chemistry test? - Totally.
- My place? - Will your mom be there? - Yeah.
- Let's study at my place.
- Good call.
- Later.
- Bye.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh! My eyes!!! - What happened?!?! - Yeah! It worked! Yes! - What worked?!?! - My flash blaster! - What are you talking about?! - My burglar alarm! I made it so we don't get robbed again.
See, I connected thirty-seven external camera flashes together, hooked 'em to a motion sensor aimed at the front door, so when the door opens, pccchhh!!! All flashes go off simultaneously, creating a 37,000 lumen blast of white hot blinding light! - You blinded me! - Temporarily.
Listen! You disable that stupid alarm right now! Carly, he's he's that way.
Disable that stupid alarm right now! Why do you want me to - Disable it! - Okay.
I'm going upstairs to take a bath.
And hopefully re-gain my eyesight.
Great, now what? I can't afford to put in a real alarm.
So come up with a way to wire the doors and windows.
- So if somebody - Ahhhhh!!! Geez!! I put one upstairs, too.
- Oh my God.
- He really did it.
- Hey-yo! Carly Freddie Welcome! Come in, come in.
Hey.
- Hey, clean off that table.
- Yes sir.
Freddie!! What have you done? I have opened Gibbehhhhh's.
C'mon, sit down, sit down.
Thanks.
What can I get you guys? - Uhhh - Ummm Bring 'em the spaghetti carbonara and a side a'garlic bread.
- Lemonade? Ya like lemonade? - Sounds good.
Sure.
- Two lemonades.
- Comin' up.
I can't believe you opened a restaurant in our school.
Believe it.
'Cuz you are sittin' in it.
You are sittin' in my dream.
And you're not scared you're gonna get busted? No way.
I only let cool people in here.
Friends of ours.
Eh? Nobody's gonna rat me out.
And if someone does, they'll have to deal with my partner.
Sam's your partner? My partner, my bodyguard, and she makes a rockin' hot meat sandwich.
The secret is hot meat.
Whassup boy? We are.
Here's your cut for the day so far.
Oh, you made all that money today?! That's just her half.
Carbonara garlic bread.
Lemonade's on the way.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
Here Carls, lemme shake a little red pepper on that pasta.
Oh, no no, I don't like hot red pepper.
You'll like it, trust me.
You'll love it.
All right.
There you go.
Wow, Gib.
This smells fantastic.
Who gave you the Uh hey, shut up a sec.
So listen You know my cousin Dominic? - The guy with the nose? - Yeah.
His sister-in-law's father owns a restaurant supply company.
He said he can hook us up with anything we need: Menus, tables, kitchen appliances, food, meat, shrimp, pasta Whatever we want, super cheap.
- That's awesome! - Mm-hmm.
Lemonade!!!!!!!!!! - So I'll hook it up? - Hook it, baby! Two lemonades.
- Mmmm.
Interesting.
- That's red pepper lemonade.
C'mon, eat! - Hey, Henry, how ya doin'? - Good.
- Hey, hey, say hi to your sister for me.
- Okay.
- How great is this place? - I know.
It's pretty rad.
- So I got so many ideas - oh, you're tellin me.
- Hey, wait.
Whoa, whoa.
- What? - Billy boots.
- Billy boots? What's he doin' here? - I guess he got outta juvie.
- I hate that guy.
- Hey Puckett! - 'Sup, Billy? They let ya outta juvie, huh? Yeah, I'm back in school.
Heard the food down here's pretty good.
Gibbehhhhh.
Look at you all dressed up and doin' the town.
C'mon, gimme a hug.
C'mon, gimme a hug.
Okay, okay.
Watch the hair, watch the hair.
"Watch the hair," listen to you.
I've known this goofy little punk since junior high.
Yeah, look, just don't go bustin' my chops, all right? I don't like that.
Ho! You guys hear this attitude? I'm just tryin' to be friendly.
If I wanted to bust your chops I'd tell ya to take your shirt off.
Yeah, you know, you shoulda seen this kid when he was little.
He used to take his shirt off, all the time, for no reason.
He was the best.
I don't do that anymore.
What, what are you talkin' about? I don't take my shirt off anymore.
Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been away a long time.
I don't take my shirt off anymore.
Not without a good reason.
Like to swim, or take a shower.
Okay.
Lighten up, I'm just kiddin'.
Yeah, well, sometimes you don't sound like you're kiddin'.
There's a lotta people here, y'know? Okay.
I'm sorry.
All right? I'm sorry.
Okay.
I'm sorry too.
Now why don't you give us a laugh and take your shirt off? - Dang it!!! - Hey, hey, relax You hear that mutt?! You hear what that mutt said to me?! - Yeah c'mon, huh, c'mon! - This is my place, Sam! I want some respect! Hey, hey, hey.
Take it easy, don't get nervous.
C'mon, it's okay, go cool off.
Go upstairs.
Just keep him here, keep him here! You believe that? Sammy, you gotta teach that kid some manners.
- Well, you insulted him.
- Nah, I didn't insult him.
Na na na, you insulted him a little bit.
- Ah c'mon - You got a little out of order yourself - No I didn't.
- Little bit.
Bring me a sandwich, I wanna buy a sandwich.
- Ah it's on the house.
- No, I'll pay for it.
No no on the house.
Bring me a pound of butter.
- Spencer! - Spencer! - Where are you?! - Are you okay?! - Hey, guys! - What's wrong?! Nothin'.
Well, we got a message at school saying you needed us.
- And to hurry.
- Right! So what's the emergency?! I just wanted to show you guys the new burglar alarm I made.
Ugh.
Check it out Yeah.
Yeah? What is it? Our new new security system! See, these are motion sensors that can detect any movement in the room.
And these are unpopped popcorn kernels Should I just call the fire department now? Listen! Once the device is armed, if anyone or anything moves, this emits a targeting laser, and then, popcorn kernels fly outta this thing.
At twelve-hundred feet per second, blasting whatever's moving! Okay, I gotta admit That's actually pretty cool.
- Armed.
- Why'd you arm it? - I didn't arm it.
- Well, disarm it.
Armed.
Armed.
Armed.
Well, that's not supposed to happen.
I gotta get back to school.
- No, don't move! - Tracking intruder.
Ruuuuunnnnn!!! Ruuuuunnnnn!!! I just think it's funny when he takes off his shirt.
You know, you used to laugh.
Yeah, well, that was a long time ago.
- Well that Gibby - This is Gibby's place, okay? Gibby better watch his mouth.
Because I don't like anyone talkin' to me that way.
Just relax and finish your lemonade.
It's not no big deal.
Finish your lemonade.
It's no big deal.
It's no big deal.
My time and I've got mouth on the feet.
I don't know what that means.
Oh, look who's back.
- Who? - You.
I know.
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave my restaurant.
Well I'm gonna have to do this.
Get him, Sam! That's right! Use the butter sock!!! Ahhh! Not the butter sock! Get him, get him, get him, get him.
Ooh.
Not the butter sock! I didn't mean to get butter on your face.
Scanning for intruders.
- We gotta get back to school! - We have a history test! - Can't you turn your stupid alarm-bot off?! I'm trying to disarm it! Armed.
Armed.
Armed.
I can't turn it off.
Maybe we can Wait, that was just the doorbell, right? Or does that bell mean your stupid killing machine is about to explode? It was the doorbell.
Hello? What's happening in there? It's my mom.
If she opens that door she's gonna get blasted! Mrs.
Benson, don't open the door! I'm not wearing pants! - Oh my God!!! - Scanning.
Pants.
- Wait - What? If your mom opens the door, then that crazy machine's gonna focus on her, and then Spencer can run over and unplug it.
Ooo that's good.
Noooo! I don't want my mom to get blasted in the face and torso with popcorn kernels! - Oh why not? - She's so irritating.
It'll just be for a second 'til I unplug it.
All right, fine.
Do it.
Okay, Mrs.
Benson! I found my pants.
Come on in! What is going on in here?! Tracking intruder.
I don't appreciate all the noise that's been coming.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! - Now!!! - Go unplug it!!! - Here I go! - Hurry up! - Unplug it!!! - I am trying!!! Oh my God! - Dude! - What? Hurry up! - Get it out.
- What's happening?! What am I being pelted with?! - What are you doing?! - Come on! - She's getting pelted! - Unplug it! - Empty.
- Got it! Yes! - Man Gib, even our after-school crowd is pretty big.
I know.
Holy cheese, it's true! I told you they had a restaurant down here! - Uh-ohhh.
- Sam! Gibby! You opened a restaurant at school in this basement?! - Prove it.
- Pr?! Prove it?! I'm looking at it! Not yet.
I am going to get principal Franklin.
And tell him to come shut down this restaurant right now! - He's at table six.
- Whaaaaat?! - Principal Franklin! - Excuse me a second, girls.
You approve of this?! Have you tried the hot meat sandwich? No, and I will not! This restaurant violates dozens of school rules! As principal, it's your responsibility to shut this place down! I'm sorry, Gibby.
Sam.
Mister Howard is right.
I'm afraid you'll have to close this place down.
- Ha! - Jerks! Thank you, mister Howard.
I'll take it from here.
Good.
Let's go, Billy.
All right, Gibby I know.
I'll start shutting things down.
- No, you won't.
- We can stay open? You better! - More hot meat for everyone! - Yeah! - Gibbehhh! - Whoo! I'm Freddie Benson.
You're probably wondering do guys cry? Yes.
Yes we do.