The L Word s06e03 Episode Script

Shaolin Studio, how can I help you, please? You really wanna see this film going down in flames, don't you?! What are you talking about? I love this film.
Oh, bullshit, Tina! Bullshit! Last week you said you would burn down the lab before you let "The Girls" be released with, may I say, a brillant ending tested through the roof, - and now - And now, and now what? What? What's going on? Don't stand here and pretend you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about! I have no idea what you're talking about, Aaron.
I would never do anything to sabotage this film, okay? I put my whole life into this film.
Please, stop yelling at me and just talk to me.
Tell me what's going on.
Look, I don't actually think that you were the one who stole the negative, Tina because you are not a complete and total raving lunatic like for example - Jennyfer Schecter! - Whoa, whoa, wait.
Back up.
The negative? What negative? The negative was stolen from the fucking lab, Tina! We have no more film! And you think Jenny did this? I cannot in my wildest dream imagine anyone else on the face of the planet being that devious or insane.
But Jenny Schecter? Piece of cake.
And since she's your friend, Tina, I am holding you personally responsible for it.
So do whatever you have to do, but get Schecter to return that goddamn negative! Fucking, Jenny.
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
- "Calimba Song" by Justine Electra - Shit! I don't know what to say.
I'm happy we fucked.
Are you sure? Yep.
Oh God! Who the fuck is that? Who? Oh God, it's Alice.
- It's Alice! - What the fuck is Alice doing here? - It's early.
- She came 'cause I'm supposed to give her notes on that fucking treatment.
Tell her to go home.
We have to Where is my shirt? I don't know.
I mean, are you sure it's there? Here.
Hello? You know the night suddenly seems to me like Come here.
Do you think we made a mistake? No.
Really? You know as much as I do.
Come here.
Fuck! It's so annoying.
- She's in the worse timing.
- Oh my god! I know that look.
Wooo! What look? The "I had sex on night" look.
Anyone I know? No.
No, I didn't do anything.
And, just so you know, I look like this every morning.
Oh my god! Who are you kidding? You wear your sex night on your sleeve.
So when did Jenny let you back in the house? Uh last night.
Hey, little monkey.
Have you seen my earrings? Monkey? Well you guys like super made up.
Are you gonna do Patrick Demsey's hair for some kind of commercial this morning? - No.
- No? What are you doing then? - I mean - What? I'm not who am I doing? I'm doing - Who are you doing? - Eric, Eric Mabius.
Oh right.
Do you have to go? Do you need some help getting dressed? - I guess so.
- Yeah? - What? - I gotta go.
Okay, I'm gonna help you.
Okay, hang on a sec.
Hang on a sec! Come here.
Shit, shit, shit! Oh my god! Oh my god! Okay.
- Alright.
- Tell me you didn't You know that I have to be at work.
Oh my god! So we're gonna talk later.
Do you want a cappuccino? No, thank you.
Are you sure? I'm gonna go to your bathroom.
What? My god! - "Shut Up And Let Me Go" by The Ting Tings - Don't think.
What the fuck?! The regular clearly estates that all graduate student must pick through graphic design before they can move on to individual design.
I'm sorry.
That's alright.
As I was saying I'm sorry.
Why is my phone buzzing? Oh, why is my phone buzzing? You got a text message.
A what? A text message? - Do you hava a briefing? - I do.
- I just wanted to talk to you.
- Yeah, of course.
Alice, I'm gonna be there in a second, okay? - Hi! - Alice, what the bloody hell is going on? Jenny just She just took Shane outside.
She said she wanted to talk! Well, isn't it a bit late for that? - Alice, what are they saying? - I just wanted to tell you - What are they talking about? - You know, I don't have, uh I don't have expectations for our relationship.
Jenny doesn't wanna put any expectations on their relationship.
And I was thinking we should probably set some boundaries, you know? 'Cause we live in the same house.
Jenny wants boundaries.
Boundaries? Jenny doesn't even know the meaning of the word.
She never had any boundaries.
Ever.
What I'm trying to say is I just want it to be different.
- Yeah, right.
- 'Cause I know you.
I know you do.
They're kissing! Alice, you're being childish.
They're both grown-up and if they want to get involved with one another - that's totally their prerogative.
- Good kisser.
- Kisser? - You know that.
Shane just said Jenny was a good kisser! My god! It's disgusting! I have to go.
She's coming.
Alice, what? Alice what? No! Yeah, absolutely.
Very good, very juicy tip for you today.
- I'm just - Alice, just say it.
Let me know.
If she's in the room, - just say yes or no.
- Yes.
Yes, so I will see you at four.
Okay.
Work, work, work.
- The look is making me come at the - Right.
I'd appreciate it if you don't mention that stuff.
You know? It's none of my business.
Nope.
Do you wanna start work? Yeah, I brought mine.
You know, it's It's work.
- "I Can't Explain" by The Charmless Hearts - This is just so crazy.
Really? What is Shane thinking? This is gonna be a complete and total train rack.
Why it should be your responsibility? I think you should just call Jenny to find out what the fuck happened to the negative because, you know what? I'm sure it's just some misunderstanding and he's gonna call you in a couple of days and just apologize.
Alright.
Well, call me.
I love you.
What is Tom doing here? Hello, Bette, it's good to see you too.
Well, the ADA says I have the right to an interpreter in the workplace.
The Americans With Disabilities Act? But you know perfectly well that I can sign.
Actually your signing has never really been that great.
So it's probably better if you just speak.
Fine.
Well, we will both probably agree that working together has become very uncomfortable.
And since I am the head of this department and I have to have it run smoothly, I think it would be best for you to resign.
No.
Excuse me? I love my job.
Why would I resign? A few weeks ago, you volunteered to resign from CU.
Right.
I offered to resign to protect your ass.
Which is something I would do for somebody that I'm in love with.
Obviously I'm no longer in love with you.
If you don't resign, then I'm gonna have to fire you.
Go right ahead.
- Yeah? - We're in a meeting here, so Yeah, just Okay, here is my - I turn the ring off.
- Thanks.
Getting a lot of phone calls.
- I don't know why.
- Will you pass me that? - Sure.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
How long did it take you to write this? Oh, I just wrote that in a night.
I just kind of stream-of-consciousness - spit it out.
- One night? This took you one night? You people think that you can just come into Hollywood and suddenly you're gonna make it and you're just gonna like write everything and it's gonna be great in one night.
You know what? My work to write a screenplay is a craft.
Okay? And if you're gonna sit here across from me, you have to start taking it seriously.
So this is what we are gonna do.
Pitch it to me.
Go.
I'm an executive, okay? Like a pitch meeting? - Sell it.
- I need to work on this.
- Go for it.
- It's a good idea.
It's about a talk show host who is really fantastic and is dating a cop, who's dark and broody and they get caught up in this, this murder mystery.
So there'll be like car chases, and it's got action and excitement.
It's kinda like foul play.
It meets "Mr.
and Mrs.
Smith", so it's got the romantic, you know, actionny - It's kinda got everything! - Except a good idea.
Just saying.
I mean I don't think that's gonna sell.
Pretty boring.
But you know, the heart of this is that it's just not realistic.
These two people would never be in a relationship together.
- No, Alice.
- I kinda - Yeah? - Well, Alice, you know what I think? The future's now.
Right now and this is not the way forward.
Because when I'm with you in a group of people and I close my eyes and I'm like ooooooo that girl the voice.
She should be doing cartoon voiceovers.
I have never really thought of cartoons as a career move.
You have a unique fork laryngeal.
It's right here.
Jenny, open up! I need to talk to you.
Thank you so much for the inspiration.
Thank you.
- Alright.
- Great to see you.
- I'm gonna work on this.
- Okay.
Don't tell anybody I told you 'cause I promised I won't say anything! Wait.
Are you sure about Jenny and Shane? I saw them make out.
With tongue.
- Gross! - I know.
I'm already have initiated down but the image is burnt in my head.
Hey, Jenny, thanks again for your help.
No problem.
I take it the meeting didn't go so well? Yeah, not so good.
Well, I wanna hear all about it, but first right now I have to go fucking kill Jenny.
Why? What did she do to you? I can't talk about it right now.
I'll tell you all about it later, alright? I just I have to calm down, okay.
I just have to go talk some senses to her.
Yeah, good luck with that.
I'll call you.
I got a new cappuccino maker.
Do you want one? - No, thanks.
I'm fine.
- Are you sure? Jenny, I need to talk to you.
I can make it with soil.
- Do you Okay.
Soil, fine.
- Soil? Okay.
Great.
What's up? The negative of "Lez Girls"? It was stolen from the lab.
What? - The negative was stolen.
- I can't hear you.
The negative was stolen from the lab! Why are you keeping saying the word "negative"? Are you not hearing me? - The negative - Smell the beans.
to our movie was stolen from the lab.
Who cares if the negative was stolen? The editor has it on her computer.
We shot the movie on film, okay? Alright? The kind of film you might take pictures with.
- Alright? - Okay.
The negative is the original image, alright? Without that, you can't make prints.
Without prints, you can't screen it in a movie theater, alright? It doesn't matter what the editor has on her computer, alright? Because it cannot be projected on to a screen.
No one's gonna see our movie.
Are you saying that nobody's gonna see the movie? Oh my god, Tina! This film is my whole life! I know it's your life.
That's why I'm here.
I just I came over to talk to you face to face.
Look, I talked to the lab, they kinda put a trace on it, they're gonna find it, but I just thought you could talk to me, - just one on one.
- About what? - Is it here? - Is it here?! You If I stole it? You wanna know if I stole the movie? Jenny, it's possible.
Look, if it's here, just grab it.
We'll take it back to the lab, okay? And I can promise, nothing bad is gonna happen to you.
But shit has already happen to me! My film's already been stolen! Why don't you ask Adele? Adele doesn't have any reason to steal the negative! Oh, Adele has no reason to steal? Why? Her whole career would be on line.
Her fucking career is on the line.
That twerp has a three-picture deal! I have nothing! Nothing, Tina! Okay? I don't even have an agent anymore.
Because my agents fired me because they don't think I'm professional.
And then and then, if this film doesn't come out then I'm totally fucked, okay? So I need this film to come out so I have this kind of chance of getting a job again.
So you need to find that movie! I did not steal the negative.
I'm sorry.
They're holding me responsible.
Aaron is personally holding me responsible.
Jenny, I'm sorry, okay? I believe you.
- Oh my god! This is so bad.
- I promise you.
So you guys are a couple? No.
No, Alice, we're not a couple.
Things got emotional and it happened one time.
That's It's not, not a big deal.
Shane, it's Jenny! I mean, I just wanna make sure you know who you're talking about here.
I'm surely aware of who it is, thank you, but listen, we got each other.
We do! And I have to believe she's not gonna get weird! She even said it today.
You know, we live under the same Under the same roof, you will have to set boundaries.
I know.
- How did you know that? - I just, you're expecting Jenny to set boundaries.
It's like - What? - I have to.
I don't have another choice.
Even the most level-headed calm person would be freaking out - if they slept with their roomate.
- Listen to me.
- It's normal.
- It happened one time.
And just because it happened doesn't mean like we're gonna add water and become instant relationship all of a sudden.
- "Too Beautiful To Be Good" by Franciene Thomas - What? Nothing.
She asked get some beer on the way home.
And, listen, between you and me, if it was to happen again? What? What is that face? I wouldn't, I wouldn't mind.
It was good.
How good was it? Better than I expected good.
You're gonna sleep with her again tonight.
I will not.
I swear.
No.
I mean, I can't swear, but, I'm not planning on it.
At the end of the day, I really am happy that she's back in my life.
Speaking of which, I've gotta get going.
I've got to find a liquor store.
Phyllis, I need to talk to you about Jodi.
She is implacable.
I have never met anybody so Bette, come sit down.
I feel like we us, to discuss this problem with all the parties involved.
Jodi has given me her side of the story.
So if there's anything you think I should know, now is the time.
Jodi agreed to resign several weeks ago, and I simply asked her to submit that resignation.
The Justin Donovan gun-to-the-head incident has completely evaporated.
So there's no longer any reason for Jodi to resign.
The Justin Donovan controversy is only educative of a larger problem.
Jodi isn't interested in any authority other than her own and as my subordinate, she has repeatedly demonstrated that she is determined to make it as uncomfortable as possible for me to do my job.
So, you threaten to fire your ex-girlfriend because having her around makes you uncomfortable? No, that's not what I said.
It's a question of authority, Phyllis.
I'm really shocked, Bette.
I would never have imagined that you of all people would allow this this dyke drama to interfere with you doing your job.
- This is not dyke drama, Phyllis! - When you entered into a sexual relationship with a subordinate, as you referred to her, you relinquished your right to fire her.
Because that's what's called sexual harassment.
Are you threatening to sue me for sexual harassment?! That thought never occurred to me.
I'm not really interested in lawsuits.
This is not coming from Jodi, Bette.
It's coming from me.
The last thing this university needs is a sexual harassment law suit between two lesbians.
She just said she's not going to sue me.
I don't care what Jodi says.
I cannot allow you to expose this university to this kind of threat.
Have I made myself clear? Guess what? I finished my whole treatment.
I'm excited! - You did? - I did.
And guess what else.
- What? - I was thinking about you.
You were.
I was.
Everything that we did last night.
And what were you thinking? I was thinking that I liked it.
What? What are you doing? Come here.
Are you sure? Take this off.
I am glad we made up.
And we're back on "The Look" and you've all been waiting patiently to hear what secrets Alice Pieszecki has to share with us today.
Thank you for that great entrance, Andrea, but, secrets makes it sound a little dirty.
Well, dirty, Alice, isn't the eye of the beholder? That may be my point, Mary.
I know a lot of you think of me as the keeper of these dirty little gay secrets, but, I received a letter last week, and it made me think a lot about things I've done.
So I thought Today, I will share something a little intimate with you.
Great! "Dear Miss Pieszecki," they spelled it right there, which I appreciate.
"I'm writing to you because you might be able to help" "people understand what I'm going through".
"For the last three weeks," "my brother weight has been on life support" "I've been to the hospital every day, praying for a miracle" "but this morning," "I watched them lower my big brother's coffin" "into the ground" I don't understand who is this.
"My brother's dead because he wrote a love letter" "to a guy named Marcus" "And Marcus shot him in the face" "I'm writing to ask you to please tell your viewers" "that it's not OK to hurt gay people" "We didn't do anything to them" "So why can't they just leave us alone" I know I've been I know I've justified outing in the past, saying it's a political act.
I certainly do believe that the world would be better if people felt free and safe enough to be who they really are, but what I forgot was some people choose to stay in the closet for other reasons.
One of those reasons is homophobia is alive and well, and oftentimes in this country, it can be deadly.
So So I wanted to share that.
Thank you.
Thank you very much, Alice for bringing that to our attention.
You're welcome.
Well, right now we're gonna go to a commercial and when we come back we are gonna to discuss how to dress for spring.
Don't go away.
Shaolin, may I help you? Well, that's what I thought 'cause it occured to me that What's going on? Aaron wants to see you right away.
Again? Oh for fax sake! You wanted to see me? "Dear Deluxe Motion Picture Lab," "please release the Lez Girls negative to the East Side Messenger Service," "who will arrive at 8 P.
M.
tonight" "Sincerely" You wanna read that signature for me? Oh, my God.
You don't actually believe that I did this.
Is that or is that not your signature, Tina? Yes.
But I didn't write this letter! Then you'd better find out who did.
Fuck! It's painful for me as this is.
So you want me to resign? Yes.
Look, I know I'm not the only administrator at CU who's ever had a relationship with another faculty member.
No, but you're the only lesbian administrator who's had a nasty public breakup with a faculty member.
So this is because I'm a lesbian.
- "Local Girls" by Graham Parker - Or is it because you're a lesbian, Phyllis? Before you go any further, yes.
It's true.
This situation could reflect badly on me, but - Phyllis, she said she had no - But it's not the only reason.
- intention - Let me finish! Unfortunately, Bette, this is not your first offense.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Nadia's complaint sided Gordon Percy, but she also referred to her encounter with you.
Nadia filled a complaint against me? Yes.
So why didn't you tell me about it? Because I knew you'd be angry and you'd wanna fight it and it was more convenient to make it go away.
So you see, I've already given you a second chance.
Phyllis, Tina and I are about to adopt a baby.
We just started construction on the second storey.
- This is really not the - Don't grovel, Bette.
It's beneath you.
You know with your talent you'll find a position in no time.
May I get these ladies refill? I'll have one.
Bette? I'll have a red Manhattan, please.
You were a beautiful role model for me when I was coming out.
Jodi too, but, you in a very special way and I will always be grateful.
That's nice.
And I don't blame you.
If svelte young coït with long blond hair was throwing herself at me, God knows what I'd do.
She was a grade student.
To tell you the truth, I've had my own struggle with attractions to subordinates.
I've one crush that's been incredibly difficult not to act on them.
You wanna know who it is? I'd rather not.
Oh come on! Guess! It's someone you know.
- "Soul Shoes" by Graham Parker - Phyllis, I really I have no idea.
You know? And I thought you and Joyce were gonna get married.
Joyce? Yes.
But as Jimmy Carter once said, "I've strayed in my mind's eye many times".
Especially with this particular person.
But now that you're no longer my employee, I feel free to make my confession.
I've always found you wildly, exquisitely attractive.
- Yes.
- Phyllis, no.
From the moment I saw you, tall, strong, brilliant.
- Don't.
- Erudite.
Incredibly It was so difficult for me not to act on it.
You can't imagine.
- Joyce.
- Joyce is wonderful, yeah.
Oh, yes, she's TCB, she's good in bed, but makes a good living, tight with Mayor Newsom, but if you gave me the smallest amount of encouragement, I would lose her in a second.
You just fired me.
I know.
But it may be the best thing that ever happened to both of us.
You are and will always be the woman of my dreams.
You'll have my letter of resignation in the morning.
- "It's Out Of My Hands" by Soul Children - Girl, look what you got! Next time Dylan Moreland sends me flowers, Kit, please, just don't accept them.
OK, I'll throw 'em out.
No, that'd be a waste.
Let's put them in a bathroom, or Maybe we maybe recycle them.
"You're beautiful when you're angry" I guess hate crimes are not "fun gay", they're depressing gay.
And now I'm going to this fucking 7:00 meeting where I'm gonna get fired.
And I'm scared to go.
I'm gonna say people I am sorry.
Okay? For what I did.
And I'm gonna beg for this job back.
I can't let this happen.
Oh God, I don't know.
What about This would be good, right? - No.
- Why? I don't like it.
It's too something.
I don't know.
But wait, but you're not sorry.
I will be sorry if I lose this job.
I do not like being broke.
But Alice, you don't always get rewarded for doing the right thing.
I mean, some people get punished.
I got punished.
Are you really gonna make this about you right now? Are you really gonna do that, make it about the fuckin' army right now? I am not here.
This is so fucked.
- I don't have any fucking clothes! - Hello? Alice, it's some woman from the L.
A.
Gay and Lesbian Center.
Tell her I donated last year.
I don't have time for this.
Keep help me! Hold on.
Hi, she's not here.
Can I take a message? Alice Pieszecki Oh my god! Thank you.
Thank you.
You have no idea how much this means.
Wouah, it's overwhelmed welcome.
This is Tasha.
I'm sorry.
I'm just, I'm really happy to see Alice.
Yeah, no problem, yeah, we're here now.
Okay, great.
It's this way.
She's this way.
Marie doesn't believe me.
She was already out there when you read her letter today, and she thinks I'm just making it up to get her to come in.
I think if she just sees you - and she knows you're here - Alright.
Jamie? Jamie, hi.
Yeah, this is weird and crazy.
I can't talk a teenager off the ledge.
What if she jumps while I'm talking to her? What if she jumps and you're not? But Alice isn't qualified for this.
- She's not a psychologist.
- I'm not.
- This is I don't even know the girl.
- She knows you.
You're her hero.
She's so excited everytime she sees you on "The Look" because she says it gives her hope that someone could be out like you and still be successful.
Come on, would you Please, can you juste talk to her? This isn't gonna work.
Alice can't handle a situation like this.
This is a crisis.
You should call, you should call the police.
Marie's terrified of the police.
What about her parents? They already lost a child.
and they did shit the hell out of her.
But it's not her responsibility.
Yes, I know, but Come on, Marie loves her.
Why don't you come up there so we can talk? Yeah, right.
Like I'm gonna fall for that?! I'm not going anywhere.
You wanna talk, you can come down here.
Alice, what are you doing? What? The kid's not coming up.
Yeah, but you shouldn't go down there.
You should What? So I'm not qualified, I'm not gonna make crisis? Look, I came to the ledge.
So what? Is it like part of your show or something? Did you bring your camera crew? Is that what you want? Do you wanna be on TV? Fuck you! No, I don't have a camera crew with me.
I'm gonna be fired.
Why? They didn't really like that I read your, your letter on the air.
The producers in my show, they got, they got really pissed.
I'm sorry.
I'm not.
You know? You know what? I mean, millions, millions of people heard the truth today.
They heard what you had to say.
They did.
I mean, you changed the world a little bit when you wrote me that letter.
You really did.
And if you stick around, you could help change it a lot more.
Is that what you're tryin to do? Trying to change the world? I don't know.
Maybe I am in my own little way.
That's so funny! You guys, over here! I bet all boys loved you.
Yes, they did, girlfriend.
Yeah, I had my share, back in the day.
But men they just mess me up.
What about women? Oh, women? Oh, puh-leeze, they can mess each other up too.
I can't begin to tell you how much drama I see.
Oh, but you're happy now.
Happy with Helena? Yeah, I'm happy with my partner.
Yeah.
This place is a bomb, and you and your girl are gonna tear it up tonight.
And Sunset is gonna rock Kit's ball.
Oh, yes, you are.
No one's gonna fix my face 'cause Miss Porter is in the house.
I've got some serious competition.
Oh, you go on now.
Those are my friends out there.
Let me go get them and I'll meet you back in this.
Okay? Alright.
See you soon.
- "Kiss my Sticky" by Betty - No, I wanna say that she really surprised me today and I'm very proud of her.
And I'm very happy and proud to be her girlfriend.
- To Alice! - Thank you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Holy shit! Okay, finish.
So, she fired you and then she kissed you? Technically, I resigned.
And she didn't make out with me.
There is no way that I was gonna make out with her.
It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.
What? What's happening? I just saw Jenny and Shane in the car.
Shane's hand was all up Jenny's skirt and Jenny's tongue is all going down Shane's throat.
What? You don't know how to check your text messages, do you? Is that what my phone was doing all the buzzing about? I can't - All the kids are doing it.
- Shhh.
Why are you laughing? Nothing.
Just, we were talking about this Nah, I had something in my throat, and I Alright.
You know what? Here is to Kit and Helena.
This place is fabulous.
Thank you.
It's like night and day.
- Cheers, Kit.
- Thank you.
You showed up all by yourself.
Very nice.
What? I think this place looks really beautiful.
You guys did a great job.
- Thank you.
- Did you - do it yourself? - Yeah, we did.
We wanted it to look like, you know, "Casablanca", "Studio 54" Right.
And you should see what we did with the VIP room.
- Where is it? - It's up there.
- Can I go? I'm gonna go see it.
- Yeah.
Go see it.
And tell me what you think about it.
- I definitively will.
- Okay.
Wait, Kit, how big is this place? You said there's two levels? - Yes, yes, yes.
- Where's the other one? Next to the VIP room.
It's like another level, private.
I didn't even see it when I came in.
Can I check it out? Oh yeah, absolutely.
You'll love it.
Oh, there's a second floor? She might know someone up there.
Who knows? Oh, right.
Oooh, maybe.
Now, where's the fabulous Kit Porter? You don't know it, girl.
- "Don't Keep Me Waiting" by Sharleen Spiteri - How are you? I don't know.
How are you? I'm fine, it's just I don't know about them.
I just wanna make sure.
Wouah, 3 o'clock.
My 3 o'clock.
That way.
- Upstairs 3 o'clock! - Oh my god! Oh come on, now.
They're just talking to each other.
Are you okay lying to all our friends? I don't care.
I really don't.
It's It's between you and me.
Come here.