The West Wing s06e03 Episode Script
Third-Day Story
Previously on The West Wing: I've got a guy who wants to come to a peace table, and I've got a table.
What's the president doing, Leo? -A summit? -Not today.
I got enough problems.
Members of Congress were killed, Mr.
President.
Instead of seeking justice.
.
.
.
.
.
you're inviting them to play dodgeball.
-Leo's still down here? -Yeah, he's in his office.
Why isn't he up at Camp David? -You planning to discuss Jerusalem? -That'll be last.
-Because it's the only thing-- -Damn it, don't you think I know that? That may have serious repercussions on American foreign policy for decades.
-It's the appropriate, balanced-- -Tell me how this ends, Leo! My counsel is no longer of use to you.
I'll need your successor in place before you leave.
I'm pleased to announce that this afternoon at 2:00.
.
.
.
.
.
Prime Minister Zahavy, Chairman Farad and President Bartlet will hold.
.
.
.
.
.
a joint press conference in the Rose Garden to describe a tentative accord.
.
.
.
.
.
that's been reached between the parties.
You think the president should address a joint session? -On the phone.
-He should address them on the phone? No, I'm on the phone.
Try Mr.
McGarry again.
It's urgent.
My fellow Americans, please deposit When he comes back from Camp David, they'll have to welcome him like a hero.
No, operator, if his battery was dead, it wouldn't-- -It's still urgent.
-I tried him five times.
We're signing a peace accord.
His phone should be stapled to his head.
-Maybe he's at Foggy Bottom.
-Try Leo McGarry again.
.
.
-.
.
.
and the secretary's office.
-Peace in our time.
-All downhill from here.
-So much for savoring the moment.
The Republican leadership's been in the Roosevelt Room 20 minutes.
-Waiting? Why? -A meeting with Leo.
-I can't find him anywhere.
-You can't find him? Hi.
Thanks for holding.
-Mr.
Speaker, Mr.
Majority Leader.
-We're taking this meeting.
Leo's got a thing at Foggy Bottom.
-A thing? -Who knows why he'd be busy.
It's not like we brokered a major peace deal.
Don't get me wrong.
You are doing great work on the soy-based fuel subsidy.
-What Josh means-- -Maybe he means someone will pay.
.
.
.
.
.
for 20,000 peacekeepers to enforce your deal.
.
.
.
.
.
and the money's not coming from the subsidy.
You never thought we'd get a deal, and we did.
They'll be scraping faces off Mount Rushmore.
It's a news roadblock.
-No use honking.
-What Josh is saying-- Enjoy your roadblock, which'll last a day, maybe two.
The story goes to Congress, and whose kids will serve.
.
.
.
.
.
who's gonna pay.
I don't have to honk.
I'll repave the road.
-lf you called this meeting to talk about-- -We called to talk about a tax cut.
-A tax cut? -A $300 expansion.
.
.
.
.
.
of the child tax credit.
-We scheduled more than a week ago.
-Now we have a peace to keep.
By appeasing terrorists who'll come back with badly wired pipe bombs? -I think badly wired's the good kind.
-Have you seen the deficit projections? If we do tax cuts on top of peacekeeping, we'll drown in red ink.
You're talking about an open-ended deployment with no exit strategy.
It's a way to grease the skids.
Help us pass the tax cut, then we'll vote on peacekeeping.
You're trying to derail the plan.
We're trying to help families raise their kids.
-Makes perfect sense in Peoria.
-Peoria doesn't have a budget deficit.
-You expect the president to sign? -And get us 60 Democratic votes.
.
.
.
.
.
in the House, to guarantee passage.
.
.
.
.
.
and make sure Democrats can't attack us for it later.
Thanks.
-Signal's still trying to reach Leo.
-Thank you.
Let's get a flow chart.
State calls the foreign ministers.
.
.
.
.
.
I call the heads of state.
Like tag-team wrestling without the body slams.
-All set to pile-drive Germany, sir.
-Thank you.
Round up as much international support as we can before the 2:00 signing.
The minute the peace plan gets through the Hamas leadership-- We have a problem with our own leadership.
Republicans want a tax cut before they vote.
I'm surprised they didn't wear masks and ask for it in a paper bag.
-Apparently, Leo knew.
-Okay.
-We haven't reached him.
-We need this vote.
-lf it means choking down a tax credit-- -I think we should wait for Leo.
What is it? Barracks security found Leo in the woods at Camp David.
They think it's a heart attack.
They're flying him to Bethesda Naval right now.
He was unconscious for a long time.
It's a miracle he has brain function.
Every minute damages the heart muscle.
-What kind of damage? -They don't know yet.
-Will they operate? -They don't know.
These are the best thoracic surgeons in the world.
-What the hell do they know? -That time is muscle.
They're gonna do everything they can.
There's no point in everyone going.
He's gonna be out for hours.
Charlie can call back with any updates.
-Should we postpone the peace signing? -No, I'll be back in time.
-Should we work out--? -A quick vote on peacekeeping.
.
.
.
.
.
and a big show of international support.
A Security Council resolution would be ideal.
Hold the elevator.
Thank you.
Balloon angio was aborted.
He got three mgs of morphine.
Two more.
Thoracic team's scrubbing in.
Do you understand me? You have blockage in two arteries to your heart.
Dr.
Karnow's one of the best heart surgeons in the Northeast.
Don't worry.
We'll take care of you.
-We should be at the hospital.
-Yeah.
You know, he looked pale last night.
I just thought it was a White House tan.
-Can we never use that expression? -He should've paced himself.
Come on, this isn't a guy who treats his body like a temple.
We'll be lucky to get the president back for the signing.
Let's get organized.
-NSC's handling the signing ceremony.
-Remarks are done.
Legislative Affairs is making calls.
You're having a meeting on homelessness and mental health.
-I was.
-That's a good idea.
I pushed it back.
Look, we're in the middle of an intersection without a traffic cop.
If we want, we can run things through me.
If we want? I'm talking about a process.
And if we want to sacrifice livestock in your name? Fine.
A decision-making tree.
Be the communications director, chief of staff.
Use the barn for a stage.
How do I tell the press about Leo? A statement.
There's too much we can't answer.
-Yeah.
-What matters most the next 72 hours.
.
.
.
.
.
is that the peace accord can hold.
In other words.
.
.
-.
.
.
a tax cut.
-A tax cut.
Are we free associating? The leadership wants 60 Democratic votes for a tax cut.
-Or no vote on peacekeeping.
-Which makes it hard to build a coalition.
-And scrape faces off Mount Rushmore.
-But it makes sense in Peoria.
And yet here we are, far from Peoria and far from making any sense.
-I'll put out that statement.
-Start with ranking Democrats.
.
.
.
.
.
on Ways and Means.
They can deliver 30, 40 votes right off.
No specifics, okay? We're just jacking up a tax credit that's already on the books.
Try to get statements endorsing the plan from members of the Security Council.
It could make a resolution seem like a done deal.
Got Germany and Japan and Bulgaria.
-State's sending them.
-Great.
You might wanna gather statements from Security Council members.
Build momentum toward that resolution.
We'll tell the president it was your idea.
Thanks.
Hey, why don't you work with State.
.
.
.
.
.
bundle together any public statements from members of the Security Council.
-I got your back on this.
-My back gets your back.
This day is gonna be an absolute nightmare.
What were the indications for a bypass and not a PTCA? Lesion's too extensive.
He was in profound cardiogenic shock.
-Saphenous grafts? -Internal mammary isn't viable.
-How long till he's off the pump? -Three hours.
-Maybe more.
-Three hours? -Yeah, he was down a long time.
-Time being muscle.
Yes, sir.
-I'll come back when I have more.
-Thank you.
Hey.
I'm gonna be gone for about an hour.
Call me if you hear anything.
State's got draft language for a resolution.
I heard Russia's onboard.
Indonesia's threatening to vote against it.
.
.
.
.
.
and Turkmenistan's banging on cans.
-Don't comment on Turkmenistan.
-Why not? President's Looney Tunes.
He created a holiday for his favorite melon.
-A holiday for a melon? -He mandated that the people.
.
.
.
.
.
gnaw on bones like dogs to strengthen their teeth.
He's nuts.
He's got a Security Council vote.
Turkmenistan's taking its turn.
Ignore him.
He'll fall in line.
-Where are you going? -To meet Donna's plane at Andrews.
Who says these jobs don't come with a cost? Yeah.
Look at you.
-What? -Leo's having his chest cracked open.
.
.
.
.
.
and you're headed toward a high-fructose coma.
-I just eat this when it's around.
-Which is all the time.
I'd like to see you live past the age of 12.
Stay off junk for the week.
See if you can survive on, you know, food.
.
.
.
.
.
and I'll cook this weekend.
-An apron and a floppy hat? -Wearing anything you like.
-You know perfectly well what I mean.
-You're on.
Piece of cake.
According to excerpts made available by the White House the president will declare that "peace, so long within sight, is within grasp.
" Many believe the Camp David summit was a fool's errand, tilting at historical-- Stress actually restricts the flow of blood through the coronary arteries.
What I'm saying is it's physiological.
Unless you wanted him meditating his way.
.
.
.
.
.
through intelligence briefings and sleeping in a tank.
.
.
-.
.
.
there's nothing you did that's-- -I fired him.
-What? -Last night, at Camp David, I fired him.
What does that do to the flow of blood? Let's get another line in.
-A little extra room here.
-Right.
-Clamp.
-Clamp.
Sponge.
POTUS can't do this at 3.
He's gotta do NSC principals before he goes back to the hospital.
-Push my homelessness meeting.
-Sure.
The president did a great thing at Camp David.
-Yeah.
-You got any news on Leo? -They're trying to stabilize his pressure.
-What does that mean? No idea, but I wish they'd do it to me.
I know you've got a block.
.
.
.
.
.
of votes on Ways and Means, and you probably think the timing.
.
.
-.
.
.
of this child tax credit is silly.
-I don't think it's silly.
When we're asking our constituents to support a huge troop deployment.
.
.
-.
.
.
we ought to give them something.
-How's $300? -Sold.
-Free wrapping at the counter.
As many Democrats as you can deliver.
How many children will be eligible for this expanded credit? Same as the current code.
Income phaseout at a 110 K-- No, how many children per family? How many you got? The deficit hawks are talking about capping the number of eligible kids.
-Promise me we won't.
-Leave that to Congress.
What does the president say to the parents who're on their seventh, eighth? "Try renting a movie sometime"? Republicans'll say any disincentive to have kids is two steps short.
.
.
.
.
.
of government-ordered abortion.
You want us to look anti-family? It's crazy when we're gonna need -Just crazy.
-I agree, congressman.
.
.
.
.
.
but the leadership isn't gonna authorize.
.
.
-.
.
.
without greasing the skids.
-Fine.
Just go easy on the grease.
-Not too much.
-We've got an income cutoff.
-What more? -Put a cap at three or four kids.
Only a tiny fraction of families has more than four kids.
It sends a message about social responsibility, as well as fiscal.
Social and fiscal.
We'd prefer to leave the details to Congress.
Peacekeeping's gonna explode the deficit.
We should subsidize every Rube Goldberg's reproductive glands? They're opening the Qalandia checkpoint in Jerusalem.
I'll need more.
-Check in with the hospital.
-They started the bypass.
We won't know for a couple hours.
Make sure they haven't had a power outage.
What's next? You've got a few minutes before NSA.
Josh is in with House Democrats.
No, I'm fine.
It's not a priority.
I wasn't pushing.
I just threw it out as a suggestion.
And I don't think that-- We're open to whatever reasonable solution you can come up with.
It may not be popular to say, but this is an information age.
Quality, not quantity.
-Thanks.
-Excuse me, congressman.
It's just that Josh is diabetic.
.
.
.
.
.
and I haven't had any lunch.
-Anything new? -The damage was pretty severe.
They had to restart his heart when they took off the clamp.
I need to see the president before he goes back.
He's in with Will.
-Why? -He wanted to see Will.
-I wanna see him.
-I'll try.
He won't be here long.
I heard you finished your courses.
-I've still got requirements.
-Besides courses? A swim test.
Stuff like that.
Well, let me know when Will paddles back to the shallow end.
Syria wishes the Golan Heights had been on the table.
Holland wishes Gouda had been on the table.
Life's full of disappointments.
Sources say congressional leaders have concerns.
The major networks have shown them trashing it for days.
.
.
.
.
.
but we're working with them.
-Any word on Leo? -Still in surgery.
That's all I have.
Thanks.
-So is it gonna be Josh or Toby? -What? -The new chief of staff.
-"C.
J.
, I'm sorry your boss and friend.
.
.
.
.
.
is sprawled across an operating table.
.
.
.
.
.
but I think it's kind of neat the president forged a peace deal.
Why don't I write about it?" -All done? -Unless I'm playing both parts, yes.
"Jeepers, Brock, you care about Leo too, but there's a power vacuum here.
You haven't owned a typewriter since the Coolidge administration.
" -I'd never say "jeepers.
" -Would too.
-Would not.
-Would too.
We're riding one of the best press waves of this presidency.
Words "Nobel Peace Prize" were in two stories.
.
.
.
.
.
so I don't have to play your game of inside baseball.
-What's Leo's prognosis? -Good.
-You have no way of knowing that.
-Then why'd you ask? We're talking about the virtual co-president.
You can't tell me who's running the place.
-The president.
-How many hours did he spend.
.
.
.
.
.
at the hospital? He's cleared his schedule.
-He's going back? -The Israeli-Palestinian delegations.
.
.
.
.
.
are at Andrews.
He's finished his public schedule.
C.
J.
, I can hold off my editors for a day, maybe two.
But pretty soon, we're gonna have to know who's filling his shoes.
Don't worry, Mr.
Prime Minister.
Congress is going to schedule a vote.
Yes, sir.
I appreciate your help.
Thank you.
I'll do the rest of these from Bethesda.
-You sure I can skip the reception? -Delegations are gone.
NSC says fine.
Okay.
Sir, I've never been prouder to work here than I was this afternoon.
.
.
.
.
.
when the chairman and the prime minister shook hands.
And you-- -Watched them shake hands.
-Leo would be proud too.
-Will be proud.
-He had his reservations about all this.
I'm not saying it won't blow up in your face.
Sir? I'll pack up and meet you at the hospital.
Okay.
-Anything from--? -No.
This tax bill we're working on for the leadership-- Just get us a vote on peacekeeping.
Some of the deficit hawks want us to cap the number of kids.
I'm thinking four, but then, you stopped at three.
That's probably a barrelful.
Let me know when you get a vote.
You know, if you want someone working out of Leo's office.
.
.
.
.
.
just to shout if you need anything.
.
.
.
-I'll let you know when we got a vote.
-Thank you.
This accord couldn 't have been reached without a strong American role without President Bartlet's sustained personal engagement.
-How was your meeting? -He asked me to pitch in.
You didn't pitch a tent? Can we do some business? Lebanon's come out against the accord.
France may oppose a resolution until Congress acts.
They don't wanna do the peacekeeping.
The president of Turkmenistan's saying he flipped Lebanon.
He's lying.
We should throw an elbow.
This is some nutbag dictator-of-the-week begging for surplus rutabagas.
-You're a bounder and a cheat.
-You tried to entrap me.
.
.
-.
.
.
with those brownies.
-I didn't put those there.
My traps have metal jaws.
The president wants a unanimous vote.
We've lost three countries in the last hour.
.
.
.
.
.
and both our diplomatic heavies are in the cardiac ward.
So we tell State to lean on France.
Slap a tariff on baguettes.
Squeeze them.
-Good idea.
-That'll do it.
Except the secretary's not returning my calls.
-Me too.
Do we have 60 votes? -Busy guy.
Congressional action would help.
-I've got 23.
-I got 27.
Plus, the whip's making calls.
I'll get us home.
I had to promise not to cap the number of kids.
-As if anyone in their right mind-- -Capped at four.
I just told the deficit hawks we would.
-You weren't to negotiate specifics.
-You were? "No cap" doesn't count.
When did we become the Chinese population bureau? I forgot this was the free-Iove clinic.
Let me go get my caftan.
-There better be 23 votes in that lining.
-Okay.
Get Treasury to crank out an estimate.
This cap might not save much.
Maybe Josh can move back his 27 without losing your 23.
I'll call the Office of Tax Analysis at Treasury.
Look for more votes in case that doesn't work.
Leo's office got meeting requests from some backbenchers.
Call them off the bench and find more benches.
What about Turkmenistan? It's a nation of Labradors run by Zeppo Marx.
Can we please stop talking about Turkmenistan? Five hours he's been on the pump.
You blanched at three.
What can I say? Five is more than three.
I don't want you to sugarcoat this.
If I knew how, I would.
Mr.
President, Mrs.
Bartlet.
-Toby.
-We're still waiting.
Mallory told us downstairs.
Sir, may I have a moment of your time? -About tomorrow's schedule.
-I'm staying here.
-All day? -I don't know, Toby.
There are a few variables floating around.
You have to name an interim chief of staff.
-Leo is my interim chief of staff.
-Two days, for two weeks-- He's been in surgery five hours.
Wanna walk in and take his car keys? No, sir.
And I care about his surgery, but we're fumbling the tax bill.
Our diplomatic strategy is a game of telephone.
.
.
.
.
.
and these are the things we're spending time on.
-Read the coverage.
We're doing fine.
-Today? Sure.
The second-day story is how you pulled it off.
But the third-day story is that Congress doesn't wanna pay.
.
.
.
.
.
that our coalition's fraying, the spokes are coming off-- It's a couple of days.
This was totally unexpected.
No, it wasn't.
Not with Leo's history with alcohol, with pills.
Mr.
President.
.
.
.
.
.
surely you had a process in place.
Not for this.
And I'm not having this conversation here.
You think we'd be doing this without him? No, sir, but Leo is one person.
And there's 290 million more, and they come first.
They finished the bypass.
His heart won't function without the machines.
They'll try again in a few hours.
We have to talk to Mallory about options.
.
.
.
.
.
in case that doesn't work.
-Anything else? -No, sir.
The surgery went well, but his heart still won't beat on its own.
-So he's one for two.
-Yeah.
One for two.
-Welcome home, Donna.
-Hi.
-You shouldn't wheel me around.
-I wanna wheel you around.
I feel like a Soviet premier who's secretly been dead for 10 years.
Your speeches to the Comintern have been flat lately.
-Donna, hi.
-Hi.
I've got CEA.
I wish I could-- It's so great to have you back.
-You're weak, and you know.
-Belly up to the griddle, Grizelda.
-Are we opening a restaurant? -C.
J.
's trying to trap me.
She's going down like a cheap pair of salad tongs.
-I'm not sure I follow-- -Hang on one second.
I gotta get this.
Don't go anywhere.
Mr.
Speaker, the president's not looking to muscle you.
-That's why I'm here and not Josh.
-Okay.
We almost had the 60 Democrats.
.
.
.
.
.
and then half of them wanted a cap on the number of kids.
-Things fell apart.
-There's other Democrats out there.
We're looking to take those meetings, and hold onto the ones we had.
.
.
.
.
.
but the president's hoping Congress can vote on peacekeeping first.
I'm here to sweeten the deal.
A $400 tax credit.
Yes.
Sure.
I'll put him on speaker phone.
-Hello.
-The president's going postal over this tax credit.
I practically had to peel him off the ceiling.
I may talk him down, but you'll have to move on peacekeeping.
Josh.
-Toby? -Hi.
-lf you wanna get back to-- -Sweetening the deal? -Did I mention it's a very low ceiling? -Allow me to speak from my own ceiling.
Sixty Democrats, or no vote on peacekeeping.
I've got a quorum call, but I'm.
.
.
.
.
.
oh, so happy I could bring you two together.
Bye-bye, Josh, Toby.
Okay, the thing about good copbad cop, it usually helps-- I need to know when Toby's back.
He's trying to anoint himself lord of the flies.
And.
.
.
-.
.
.
get me the Democratic whip.
-You know there's an intercom.
-And, Donna-- -You can always use-- -The intercom.
-C.
J.
-I hate to take your time.
-What do you think it's for? Now I gotta do my lousy Cary Grant, and you end up stealing the scene.
What do you need? -Who's the new chief of staff? -I'll tell you about him.
Leo McGarry, comes out of Chicago.
An unconventional choice, sure-- -We were off the '30s comedy.
-Leo just got out of bypass.
He could be out of the woods.
I guess these woods don't include incisional pain.
.
.
.
.
.
chronic pain, swelling in both legs because they took grafts from both.
They don't include mood swings, loss of short-term memory, loss of blood supply.
If they do, Leo won't be out of them for three or four months.
-Who's the new chief of staff? -You know so much, you tell me.
-I'm hearing Will Bailey.
-Have your hearing checked.
Had a one-on-one with the president yesterday.
Knows the military, which Josh and Toby don't.
It's Leo.
Josh and Toby know every inch.
.
.
.
.
.
of the government, military, industrial, animal, mineral-- Folks can manage down.
Will's proven he can manage up.
A fully fledged adult.
Josh and Toby are adult, responsible, highly intelligent-- Throw me in a vat of custard with a chocolate-covered snorkel.
It's gonna be you and me this weekend, baby, and you are wearing a floppy hat! Congresswoman, thanks for seeing me.
I'm doing back-to-back meetings.
-Well, thanks for seeing me.
-Obviously, Leo's out of commission.
-I hope he's okay.
-Thank you.
We'll need your help on this tax bill.
Harder than we thought to get I'd like to amend it, appoint a monarch for the United States of America.
Oh, I'm serious.
What are these? President's public schedules for the last four months.
I've calculated that he spends .
.
.
on ribbon-cuttings and overseas tea ceremonies.
Which may be why, on his trip to Argentina.
.
.
.
.
.
he went to three banquets and didn't do a damn thing.
.
.
.
.
.
for the pork producers in Iowa.
-You can't.
This isn't-- -lf they don't get tax relief in this bill.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm calling for a monarch.
Someone to do the glad-handing, ceremonial fluff.
.
.
.
.
.
so the president will help people at home.
For a Democrat to do this, we're gonna look like buffoons.
I know the argument.
The staff runs the show while the president's off dedicating supermarkets.
All due respect, no one elected Leo, and no one elected you.
I'm sorry I'm late, congressman.
I'm sure Leo would wanna be here himself.
I'm sure.
-A few snags with the tax bill.
-So I gather.
Truth is, we could use your vote.
Your Justice Department hasn't filed a single amicus brief.
.
.
.
.
.
in the Oregon or Massachusetts gay marriage cases.
We've debated this a lot.
You know how dicey it is for the party.
-I do.
-We're headed into election year.
-We are.
-Can't get too ahead of public opinion.
.
.
-.
.
.
much as we'd like to.
-That's why I'd like to help.
.
.
-.
.
.
by introducing a bill to ban marriage.
-That's an interesting idea.
We drop a bill to ban gay marriage.
.
.
.
.
.
tag a few moderate Republicans as intolerant, but trust me.
.
.
.
.
.
it hurts our moderates My bill bans all marriage.
-AII, as in.
.
.
? -lf we can't make it available.
.
.
.
.
.
to everyone, I want us out entirely.
Leave it to churches, synagogues.
.
.
.
.
.
and, of course, casinos and department stores.
Did the RNC put you up to this? They don't condone my lifestyle, and I don't condone theirs.
-The Democratic leadership.
-What about them? Did they call to warn me that Benoit wants to ban marriage? -Ban? -lf we won't support gay marriage.
.
.
-.
.
.
he wants the government out entirely.
-Who takes that seriously? It's a direct-mail bonanza for the other side.
Even a fringe bill to ban marriage, they'll be reenacting Caligula -.
.
.
at the Republican convention.
-You'd look cute in a toga and a collar.
-Thank you.
-C.
J.
says China's joined.
.
.
.
.
.
the opposition to vote until Congress acts.
Why isn't the State Department cracking heads? The president of Turkmenistan said he knows of six wavering votes.
No, he doesn't! He's making that up! We need a coalition.
We're being mugged by a melon worshipper.
Excuse me.
This is for Mr.
Lyman from the southwest gate.
-From C.
J.
Cregg.
-Probably stuck me with the bill too.
Send it to the president of Turkmenistan.
The speaker was never for this deal.
A Security Council resolution would prod him.
What sense does it make to wait? Thank you, Madame President.
Charlie's bringing a change of clothes and a new batch of call sheets.
-Leave them at the White House.
-I'm staying here.
Tell him to leave them at the White House.
I can do this here.
The way they wire these places.
.
.
.
.
.
I could do it from a cardboard box in Lafayette Park.
You think this is your fault.
It's not.
He's my best friend.
I'm not the kind who has best friends.
Because your life is your work, and so is his.
-Your work.
-What are you trying to say? You chose this.
Both of you.
You're running a country, not a tree house.
Leo stays in the tree.
We'll work around his recovery.
-Half-days, whatever it takes.
-He's not gonna work half-days.
-He's not gonna do whatever it takes.
-That's his decision.
-We know what that will be.
-So I wake him and fire him? -It worked so well the first time.
-Let's talk about this time.
You've got to keep him out of that job.
He'll kill himself for you if you don't.
Debbie, I'm ready for my next call.
-I'm late for a briefing.
-It just started.
England, Iceland, Spain and Canada have all pledged troops for peacekeeping.
-DOD called me.
-There's something else.
Does Canada even have troops? They hurl little bottles of maple syrup? -Put out a release.
-C.
J.
-- -Something else, what? -Leo's heart's beating on its own.
He's still critical, but he's off the heart and lung machine.
I'm late for an economic briefing.
-Leo's off the pump.
-I heard.
-What's this? -A pen.
-Am I having a bar mitzvah? -The peace signing.
The prime minister used it to sign the H in his name.
I tried for the Z.
The Israeli ambassador beat me to it.
I didn't have anything to do with it.
Let's just say you were a blood donor.
I wanna stop taking those for granted.
Thank you.
Why's the treasury secretary on TV? She's probably spinning the peace deal.
C.
J.
's rolling out Cabinet heavyweights.
We ought to loop her in on that tax cut, actually.
I believe so, Steve.
I'm hopeful.
So is the president.
There are rumors circulating on the Hill about a new tax cut from the administration.
Some believe it's a way to buy support for a tough peacekeeping mission.
That's without foundation, Steve.
The Treasury did an estimate of the cost of tax cuts on top of peacekeeping.
It would substantially increase deficit.
I can guarantee the president won 't sign.
Thank you, Madame Secretary.
The Treasury estimate.
-Did you see it? -No.
-Treasury secretary did.
-Yeah.
-Pretty upset.
-Upset.
Pretty.
-We should've looped her in sooner.
-Or ever.
Yeah.
That too.
When I suggested a Treasury estimate, I assumed we told the secretary.
.
.
.
.
.
head of all federal tax policy, what in Alexander Hamilton's name we're doing.
Good assumption, though.
I'll call her press office, see if we can roll this thing back.
Tax cut just got more expensive.
I had to give incentives to pork producers to avoid a little P.
R.
problem.
-You didn't.
-What? I promised we wouldn't back amendments so Benoit wouldn't do.
.
.
.
.
.
something I don't wanna go into now.
You shouldn't negotiate specifics.
I thought "no specifics" wasn't a specific.
You made these stupid rules.
-lf I was the only one who broke them.
.
.
? -What double standard is that? Find a standard, I'll let you know.
-You run this off the top of your head? -I wanna run it off something.
-Decision-making tree.
-You at the top.
No! With you at the top.
Me? I tried to tell the president to give you the job.
-He seems to want us topless for now.
-You wanted me at the top? For two days, I've been trying to hold a meeting.
One lousy kickoff meeting on homelessness and mental health.
-The best idea you've had in months.
-It was Leo's.
He didn't want the urgent to crowd out the important.
-Getting harder to tell the difference.
-Well, someone ought to try.
We can 't just rush in with billy clubs.
Hamas and other terrorist groups will have to stand down first.
So yes, we're in discussions with the administration .
.
.
and I hope to have more to say about a possible U.
S.
military role in the Middle East very soon.
-"A possible role.
" -Still, coverage today was extraordinary.
Burst of warmth before you freeze to death.
-It's a bit drafty in here, actually.
-Shut the door.
Your meeting with the president, I'm getting questions.
Anything you wanna tell me? He wanted a few thoughts on NATO's role in peacekeeping.
NATO.
Belgium.
.
.
.
.
.
Bulgaria, Canada.
.
.
.
.
.
Denmark, Estonia.
-Well, heavens to Murgatroyd.
-What? We have all the NATO countries.
We've been focusing on the Security Council, but we have-- -Does this mean you're cooking for me? -Not a chance.
Carol? Every NATO member's endorsed the peace accord.
We're moving the goal post and claiming the match.
He's only back here to meet with the CINCs.
Do this fast.
-You go first.
-Why's that? -You've got the special relationship.
-You mean "bound for deportation.
" -He's not that upset.
-Really? No, just kidding.
He's ready to rip off his finger and light it like a cigarette.
I'd like to know why my treasury secretary's on television denouncing.
.
.
.
.
.
a tax cut I never saw because of an estimate I never asked for.
-We did offer to brief you on the details.
-Brief me now.
We're not quite ready to brief you on the details.
Because you made a complete hash of it.
The leadership's sole request before taking up peacekeeping.
We're close to 60 Democratic votes.
It's just that you might face a decision about the fall legislative agenda.
-What? -You prefer a bill to appoint.
.
.
.
.
.
an American monarch? Or a ban on the institution of marriage? Except in casinos and department stores.
Tell the speaker and the majority leader.
.
.
.
.
.
that with my newfound royal authority.
.
.
.
.
.
with all my time now that my marriage is banned.
.
.
.
.
.
and with the support of every NATO member in my pocket.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm sending peacekeepers to the Middle East.
If Congress wants to feed them, pay them.
.
.
.
.
.
or bring them back, that's up to them.
-We're free to play with the language? -We're done here.
Oh, Josh.
Shed some light on this State Department cable.
-Sir? -"Turkmenistan to U.
S.
.
.
.
.
.
we didn't order these pizzas.
" Bet you're thinking there's a really good explanation, sir.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Some welcome-home party, huh? -Oh, feels lucky just to be home.
-How's Leo? -He's in step-down.
He can see visitors pretty soon.
-Coming to the hospital? -A bit later, yeah.
-Zoey came to see me.
-I told her you were back.
You finished up at Georgetown.
-I wish she'd stop telling people.
-Why? -I'd shout it from the rooftops.
-We've got snipers up there.
-That was a metaphorical thing.
-The truth is, I'm not done.
I never took a swim test, there's forms I haven't filed.
You're holding up your college degree over paperwork and laps in a pool? When I started Georgetown.
.
.
.
.
.
the president made me promise that when I got the degree, I'd leave this job.
Why would he want you to do that? He doesn't want me holding his jacket for the rest of my life.
-I'll see you at the hospital.
-Happy almost graduation, Charlie.
I'm not wearing a tassel.
I don't care what they do to me.
Mr.
President.
A morphine drip, and we can skip the formalities.
I might get one myself.
.
.
.
.
.
wheel it into meetings with the joint chiefs.
You're not fired, Leo.
You can delegate, work part-time.
Bring the morphine with you for all I care.
You.
.
.
.
You remember.
.
.
.
.
.
what you told me.
.
.
.
.
.
when you offered me the job? "I need you to jump off a cliff.
" And I did.
And I'd do it again.
But you need a new.
.
.
.
.
.
chief of staff.
We came here to put the job first.
Spend our lives for something that would outlast us.
I just thought we'd have a longer line of credit is all.
I'm gonna need that list of names.
Only one name.
-You planted these baskets.
-I promised Donna no more traps.
It's like a torture chamber designed by a renegade Keebler elf.
I never took a moment to thank you for your work at Camp David.
.
.
.
.
.
and holding the building together-- Well, not exactly together, in Leo's absence.
It's been a rocky couple of days.
.
.
.
.
.
and that's my fault, no one else's.
We'll meet with the joint leadership tomorrow and work out that tax cut.
Even then, we've got some fences to mend at the U.
N.
.
.
.
.
.
so I imagine we'll see some pretty rough third- and fourth-day stories.
But you know what? There'll be a fifth day, and a sixth.
.
.
.
.
.
and a seventh after that.
So.
.
.
.
.
.
go spend some time with my outgoing chief of staff.
.
.
.
.
.
because then we got work to do.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
-C.
J.
-Sir? There's something I need you to do for me.
What's that? Jump off a cliff.
We'll talk about it on the ride back.
Yes, sir.
What's the president doing, Leo? -A summit? -Not today.
I got enough problems.
Members of Congress were killed, Mr.
President.
Instead of seeking justice.
.
.
.
.
.
you're inviting them to play dodgeball.
-Leo's still down here? -Yeah, he's in his office.
Why isn't he up at Camp David? -You planning to discuss Jerusalem? -That'll be last.
-Because it's the only thing-- -Damn it, don't you think I know that? That may have serious repercussions on American foreign policy for decades.
-It's the appropriate, balanced-- -Tell me how this ends, Leo! My counsel is no longer of use to you.
I'll need your successor in place before you leave.
I'm pleased to announce that this afternoon at 2:00.
.
.
.
.
.
Prime Minister Zahavy, Chairman Farad and President Bartlet will hold.
.
.
.
.
.
a joint press conference in the Rose Garden to describe a tentative accord.
.
.
.
.
.
that's been reached between the parties.
You think the president should address a joint session? -On the phone.
-He should address them on the phone? No, I'm on the phone.
Try Mr.
McGarry again.
It's urgent.
My fellow Americans, please deposit When he comes back from Camp David, they'll have to welcome him like a hero.
No, operator, if his battery was dead, it wouldn't-- -It's still urgent.
-I tried him five times.
We're signing a peace accord.
His phone should be stapled to his head.
-Maybe he's at Foggy Bottom.
-Try Leo McGarry again.
.
.
-.
.
.
and the secretary's office.
-Peace in our time.
-All downhill from here.
-So much for savoring the moment.
The Republican leadership's been in the Roosevelt Room 20 minutes.
-Waiting? Why? -A meeting with Leo.
-I can't find him anywhere.
-You can't find him? Hi.
Thanks for holding.
-Mr.
Speaker, Mr.
Majority Leader.
-We're taking this meeting.
Leo's got a thing at Foggy Bottom.
-A thing? -Who knows why he'd be busy.
It's not like we brokered a major peace deal.
Don't get me wrong.
You are doing great work on the soy-based fuel subsidy.
-What Josh means-- -Maybe he means someone will pay.
.
.
.
.
.
for 20,000 peacekeepers to enforce your deal.
.
.
.
.
.
and the money's not coming from the subsidy.
You never thought we'd get a deal, and we did.
They'll be scraping faces off Mount Rushmore.
It's a news roadblock.
-No use honking.
-What Josh is saying-- Enjoy your roadblock, which'll last a day, maybe two.
The story goes to Congress, and whose kids will serve.
.
.
.
.
.
who's gonna pay.
I don't have to honk.
I'll repave the road.
-lf you called this meeting to talk about-- -We called to talk about a tax cut.
-A tax cut? -A $300 expansion.
.
.
.
.
.
of the child tax credit.
-We scheduled more than a week ago.
-Now we have a peace to keep.
By appeasing terrorists who'll come back with badly wired pipe bombs? -I think badly wired's the good kind.
-Have you seen the deficit projections? If we do tax cuts on top of peacekeeping, we'll drown in red ink.
You're talking about an open-ended deployment with no exit strategy.
It's a way to grease the skids.
Help us pass the tax cut, then we'll vote on peacekeeping.
You're trying to derail the plan.
We're trying to help families raise their kids.
-Makes perfect sense in Peoria.
-Peoria doesn't have a budget deficit.
-You expect the president to sign? -And get us 60 Democratic votes.
.
.
.
.
.
in the House, to guarantee passage.
.
.
.
.
.
and make sure Democrats can't attack us for it later.
Thanks.
-Signal's still trying to reach Leo.
-Thank you.
Let's get a flow chart.
State calls the foreign ministers.
.
.
.
.
.
I call the heads of state.
Like tag-team wrestling without the body slams.
-All set to pile-drive Germany, sir.
-Thank you.
Round up as much international support as we can before the 2:00 signing.
The minute the peace plan gets through the Hamas leadership-- We have a problem with our own leadership.
Republicans want a tax cut before they vote.
I'm surprised they didn't wear masks and ask for it in a paper bag.
-Apparently, Leo knew.
-Okay.
-We haven't reached him.
-We need this vote.
-lf it means choking down a tax credit-- -I think we should wait for Leo.
What is it? Barracks security found Leo in the woods at Camp David.
They think it's a heart attack.
They're flying him to Bethesda Naval right now.
He was unconscious for a long time.
It's a miracle he has brain function.
Every minute damages the heart muscle.
-What kind of damage? -They don't know yet.
-Will they operate? -They don't know.
These are the best thoracic surgeons in the world.
-What the hell do they know? -That time is muscle.
They're gonna do everything they can.
There's no point in everyone going.
He's gonna be out for hours.
Charlie can call back with any updates.
-Should we postpone the peace signing? -No, I'll be back in time.
-Should we work out--? -A quick vote on peacekeeping.
.
.
.
.
.
and a big show of international support.
A Security Council resolution would be ideal.
Hold the elevator.
Thank you.
Balloon angio was aborted.
He got three mgs of morphine.
Two more.
Thoracic team's scrubbing in.
Do you understand me? You have blockage in two arteries to your heart.
Dr.
Karnow's one of the best heart surgeons in the Northeast.
Don't worry.
We'll take care of you.
-We should be at the hospital.
-Yeah.
You know, he looked pale last night.
I just thought it was a White House tan.
-Can we never use that expression? -He should've paced himself.
Come on, this isn't a guy who treats his body like a temple.
We'll be lucky to get the president back for the signing.
Let's get organized.
-NSC's handling the signing ceremony.
-Remarks are done.
Legislative Affairs is making calls.
You're having a meeting on homelessness and mental health.
-I was.
-That's a good idea.
I pushed it back.
Look, we're in the middle of an intersection without a traffic cop.
If we want, we can run things through me.
If we want? I'm talking about a process.
And if we want to sacrifice livestock in your name? Fine.
A decision-making tree.
Be the communications director, chief of staff.
Use the barn for a stage.
How do I tell the press about Leo? A statement.
There's too much we can't answer.
-Yeah.
-What matters most the next 72 hours.
.
.
.
.
.
is that the peace accord can hold.
In other words.
.
.
-.
.
.
a tax cut.
-A tax cut.
Are we free associating? The leadership wants 60 Democratic votes for a tax cut.
-Or no vote on peacekeeping.
-Which makes it hard to build a coalition.
-And scrape faces off Mount Rushmore.
-But it makes sense in Peoria.
And yet here we are, far from Peoria and far from making any sense.
-I'll put out that statement.
-Start with ranking Democrats.
.
.
.
.
.
on Ways and Means.
They can deliver 30, 40 votes right off.
No specifics, okay? We're just jacking up a tax credit that's already on the books.
Try to get statements endorsing the plan from members of the Security Council.
It could make a resolution seem like a done deal.
Got Germany and Japan and Bulgaria.
-State's sending them.
-Great.
You might wanna gather statements from Security Council members.
Build momentum toward that resolution.
We'll tell the president it was your idea.
Thanks.
Hey, why don't you work with State.
.
.
.
.
.
bundle together any public statements from members of the Security Council.
-I got your back on this.
-My back gets your back.
This day is gonna be an absolute nightmare.
What were the indications for a bypass and not a PTCA? Lesion's too extensive.
He was in profound cardiogenic shock.
-Saphenous grafts? -Internal mammary isn't viable.
-How long till he's off the pump? -Three hours.
-Maybe more.
-Three hours? -Yeah, he was down a long time.
-Time being muscle.
Yes, sir.
-I'll come back when I have more.
-Thank you.
Hey.
I'm gonna be gone for about an hour.
Call me if you hear anything.
State's got draft language for a resolution.
I heard Russia's onboard.
Indonesia's threatening to vote against it.
.
.
.
.
.
and Turkmenistan's banging on cans.
-Don't comment on Turkmenistan.
-Why not? President's Looney Tunes.
He created a holiday for his favorite melon.
-A holiday for a melon? -He mandated that the people.
.
.
.
.
.
gnaw on bones like dogs to strengthen their teeth.
He's nuts.
He's got a Security Council vote.
Turkmenistan's taking its turn.
Ignore him.
He'll fall in line.
-Where are you going? -To meet Donna's plane at Andrews.
Who says these jobs don't come with a cost? Yeah.
Look at you.
-What? -Leo's having his chest cracked open.
.
.
.
.
.
and you're headed toward a high-fructose coma.
-I just eat this when it's around.
-Which is all the time.
I'd like to see you live past the age of 12.
Stay off junk for the week.
See if you can survive on, you know, food.
.
.
.
.
.
and I'll cook this weekend.
-An apron and a floppy hat? -Wearing anything you like.
-You know perfectly well what I mean.
-You're on.
Piece of cake.
According to excerpts made available by the White House the president will declare that "peace, so long within sight, is within grasp.
" Many believe the Camp David summit was a fool's errand, tilting at historical-- Stress actually restricts the flow of blood through the coronary arteries.
What I'm saying is it's physiological.
Unless you wanted him meditating his way.
.
.
.
.
.
through intelligence briefings and sleeping in a tank.
.
.
-.
.
.
there's nothing you did that's-- -I fired him.
-What? -Last night, at Camp David, I fired him.
What does that do to the flow of blood? Let's get another line in.
-A little extra room here.
-Right.
-Clamp.
-Clamp.
Sponge.
POTUS can't do this at 3.
He's gotta do NSC principals before he goes back to the hospital.
-Push my homelessness meeting.
-Sure.
The president did a great thing at Camp David.
-Yeah.
-You got any news on Leo? -They're trying to stabilize his pressure.
-What does that mean? No idea, but I wish they'd do it to me.
I know you've got a block.
.
.
.
.
.
of votes on Ways and Means, and you probably think the timing.
.
.
-.
.
.
of this child tax credit is silly.
-I don't think it's silly.
When we're asking our constituents to support a huge troop deployment.
.
.
-.
.
.
we ought to give them something.
-How's $300? -Sold.
-Free wrapping at the counter.
As many Democrats as you can deliver.
How many children will be eligible for this expanded credit? Same as the current code.
Income phaseout at a 110 K-- No, how many children per family? How many you got? The deficit hawks are talking about capping the number of eligible kids.
-Promise me we won't.
-Leave that to Congress.
What does the president say to the parents who're on their seventh, eighth? "Try renting a movie sometime"? Republicans'll say any disincentive to have kids is two steps short.
.
.
.
.
.
of government-ordered abortion.
You want us to look anti-family? It's crazy when we're gonna need -Just crazy.
-I agree, congressman.
.
.
.
.
.
but the leadership isn't gonna authorize.
.
.
-.
.
.
without greasing the skids.
-Fine.
Just go easy on the grease.
-Not too much.
-We've got an income cutoff.
-What more? -Put a cap at three or four kids.
Only a tiny fraction of families has more than four kids.
It sends a message about social responsibility, as well as fiscal.
Social and fiscal.
We'd prefer to leave the details to Congress.
Peacekeeping's gonna explode the deficit.
We should subsidize every Rube Goldberg's reproductive glands? They're opening the Qalandia checkpoint in Jerusalem.
I'll need more.
-Check in with the hospital.
-They started the bypass.
We won't know for a couple hours.
Make sure they haven't had a power outage.
What's next? You've got a few minutes before NSA.
Josh is in with House Democrats.
No, I'm fine.
It's not a priority.
I wasn't pushing.
I just threw it out as a suggestion.
And I don't think that-- We're open to whatever reasonable solution you can come up with.
It may not be popular to say, but this is an information age.
Quality, not quantity.
-Thanks.
-Excuse me, congressman.
It's just that Josh is diabetic.
.
.
.
.
.
and I haven't had any lunch.
-Anything new? -The damage was pretty severe.
They had to restart his heart when they took off the clamp.
I need to see the president before he goes back.
He's in with Will.
-Why? -He wanted to see Will.
-I wanna see him.
-I'll try.
He won't be here long.
I heard you finished your courses.
-I've still got requirements.
-Besides courses? A swim test.
Stuff like that.
Well, let me know when Will paddles back to the shallow end.
Syria wishes the Golan Heights had been on the table.
Holland wishes Gouda had been on the table.
Life's full of disappointments.
Sources say congressional leaders have concerns.
The major networks have shown them trashing it for days.
.
.
.
.
.
but we're working with them.
-Any word on Leo? -Still in surgery.
That's all I have.
Thanks.
-So is it gonna be Josh or Toby? -What? -The new chief of staff.
-"C.
J.
, I'm sorry your boss and friend.
.
.
.
.
.
is sprawled across an operating table.
.
.
.
.
.
but I think it's kind of neat the president forged a peace deal.
Why don't I write about it?" -All done? -Unless I'm playing both parts, yes.
"Jeepers, Brock, you care about Leo too, but there's a power vacuum here.
You haven't owned a typewriter since the Coolidge administration.
" -I'd never say "jeepers.
" -Would too.
-Would not.
-Would too.
We're riding one of the best press waves of this presidency.
Words "Nobel Peace Prize" were in two stories.
.
.
.
.
.
so I don't have to play your game of inside baseball.
-What's Leo's prognosis? -Good.
-You have no way of knowing that.
-Then why'd you ask? We're talking about the virtual co-president.
You can't tell me who's running the place.
-The president.
-How many hours did he spend.
.
.
.
.
.
at the hospital? He's cleared his schedule.
-He's going back? -The Israeli-Palestinian delegations.
.
.
.
.
.
are at Andrews.
He's finished his public schedule.
C.
J.
, I can hold off my editors for a day, maybe two.
But pretty soon, we're gonna have to know who's filling his shoes.
Don't worry, Mr.
Prime Minister.
Congress is going to schedule a vote.
Yes, sir.
I appreciate your help.
Thank you.
I'll do the rest of these from Bethesda.
-You sure I can skip the reception? -Delegations are gone.
NSC says fine.
Okay.
Sir, I've never been prouder to work here than I was this afternoon.
.
.
.
.
.
when the chairman and the prime minister shook hands.
And you-- -Watched them shake hands.
-Leo would be proud too.
-Will be proud.
-He had his reservations about all this.
I'm not saying it won't blow up in your face.
Sir? I'll pack up and meet you at the hospital.
Okay.
-Anything from--? -No.
This tax bill we're working on for the leadership-- Just get us a vote on peacekeeping.
Some of the deficit hawks want us to cap the number of kids.
I'm thinking four, but then, you stopped at three.
That's probably a barrelful.
Let me know when you get a vote.
You know, if you want someone working out of Leo's office.
.
.
.
.
.
just to shout if you need anything.
.
.
.
-I'll let you know when we got a vote.
-Thank you.
This accord couldn 't have been reached without a strong American role without President Bartlet's sustained personal engagement.
-How was your meeting? -He asked me to pitch in.
You didn't pitch a tent? Can we do some business? Lebanon's come out against the accord.
France may oppose a resolution until Congress acts.
They don't wanna do the peacekeeping.
The president of Turkmenistan's saying he flipped Lebanon.
He's lying.
We should throw an elbow.
This is some nutbag dictator-of-the-week begging for surplus rutabagas.
-You're a bounder and a cheat.
-You tried to entrap me.
.
.
-.
.
.
with those brownies.
-I didn't put those there.
My traps have metal jaws.
The president wants a unanimous vote.
We've lost three countries in the last hour.
.
.
.
.
.
and both our diplomatic heavies are in the cardiac ward.
So we tell State to lean on France.
Slap a tariff on baguettes.
Squeeze them.
-Good idea.
-That'll do it.
Except the secretary's not returning my calls.
-Me too.
Do we have 60 votes? -Busy guy.
Congressional action would help.
-I've got 23.
-I got 27.
Plus, the whip's making calls.
I'll get us home.
I had to promise not to cap the number of kids.
-As if anyone in their right mind-- -Capped at four.
I just told the deficit hawks we would.
-You weren't to negotiate specifics.
-You were? "No cap" doesn't count.
When did we become the Chinese population bureau? I forgot this was the free-Iove clinic.
Let me go get my caftan.
-There better be 23 votes in that lining.
-Okay.
Get Treasury to crank out an estimate.
This cap might not save much.
Maybe Josh can move back his 27 without losing your 23.
I'll call the Office of Tax Analysis at Treasury.
Look for more votes in case that doesn't work.
Leo's office got meeting requests from some backbenchers.
Call them off the bench and find more benches.
What about Turkmenistan? It's a nation of Labradors run by Zeppo Marx.
Can we please stop talking about Turkmenistan? Five hours he's been on the pump.
You blanched at three.
What can I say? Five is more than three.
I don't want you to sugarcoat this.
If I knew how, I would.
Mr.
President, Mrs.
Bartlet.
-Toby.
-We're still waiting.
Mallory told us downstairs.
Sir, may I have a moment of your time? -About tomorrow's schedule.
-I'm staying here.
-All day? -I don't know, Toby.
There are a few variables floating around.
You have to name an interim chief of staff.
-Leo is my interim chief of staff.
-Two days, for two weeks-- He's been in surgery five hours.
Wanna walk in and take his car keys? No, sir.
And I care about his surgery, but we're fumbling the tax bill.
Our diplomatic strategy is a game of telephone.
.
.
.
.
.
and these are the things we're spending time on.
-Read the coverage.
We're doing fine.
-Today? Sure.
The second-day story is how you pulled it off.
But the third-day story is that Congress doesn't wanna pay.
.
.
.
.
.
that our coalition's fraying, the spokes are coming off-- It's a couple of days.
This was totally unexpected.
No, it wasn't.
Not with Leo's history with alcohol, with pills.
Mr.
President.
.
.
.
.
.
surely you had a process in place.
Not for this.
And I'm not having this conversation here.
You think we'd be doing this without him? No, sir, but Leo is one person.
And there's 290 million more, and they come first.
They finished the bypass.
His heart won't function without the machines.
They'll try again in a few hours.
We have to talk to Mallory about options.
.
.
.
.
.
in case that doesn't work.
-Anything else? -No, sir.
The surgery went well, but his heart still won't beat on its own.
-So he's one for two.
-Yeah.
One for two.
-Welcome home, Donna.
-Hi.
-You shouldn't wheel me around.
-I wanna wheel you around.
I feel like a Soviet premier who's secretly been dead for 10 years.
Your speeches to the Comintern have been flat lately.
-Donna, hi.
-Hi.
I've got CEA.
I wish I could-- It's so great to have you back.
-You're weak, and you know.
-Belly up to the griddle, Grizelda.
-Are we opening a restaurant? -C.
J.
's trying to trap me.
She's going down like a cheap pair of salad tongs.
-I'm not sure I follow-- -Hang on one second.
I gotta get this.
Don't go anywhere.
Mr.
Speaker, the president's not looking to muscle you.
-That's why I'm here and not Josh.
-Okay.
We almost had the 60 Democrats.
.
.
.
.
.
and then half of them wanted a cap on the number of kids.
-Things fell apart.
-There's other Democrats out there.
We're looking to take those meetings, and hold onto the ones we had.
.
.
.
.
.
but the president's hoping Congress can vote on peacekeeping first.
I'm here to sweeten the deal.
A $400 tax credit.
Yes.
Sure.
I'll put him on speaker phone.
-Hello.
-The president's going postal over this tax credit.
I practically had to peel him off the ceiling.
I may talk him down, but you'll have to move on peacekeeping.
Josh.
-Toby? -Hi.
-lf you wanna get back to-- -Sweetening the deal? -Did I mention it's a very low ceiling? -Allow me to speak from my own ceiling.
Sixty Democrats, or no vote on peacekeeping.
I've got a quorum call, but I'm.
.
.
.
.
.
oh, so happy I could bring you two together.
Bye-bye, Josh, Toby.
Okay, the thing about good copbad cop, it usually helps-- I need to know when Toby's back.
He's trying to anoint himself lord of the flies.
And.
.
.
-.
.
.
get me the Democratic whip.
-You know there's an intercom.
-And, Donna-- -You can always use-- -The intercom.
-C.
J.
-I hate to take your time.
-What do you think it's for? Now I gotta do my lousy Cary Grant, and you end up stealing the scene.
What do you need? -Who's the new chief of staff? -I'll tell you about him.
Leo McGarry, comes out of Chicago.
An unconventional choice, sure-- -We were off the '30s comedy.
-Leo just got out of bypass.
He could be out of the woods.
I guess these woods don't include incisional pain.
.
.
.
.
.
chronic pain, swelling in both legs because they took grafts from both.
They don't include mood swings, loss of short-term memory, loss of blood supply.
If they do, Leo won't be out of them for three or four months.
-Who's the new chief of staff? -You know so much, you tell me.
-I'm hearing Will Bailey.
-Have your hearing checked.
Had a one-on-one with the president yesterday.
Knows the military, which Josh and Toby don't.
It's Leo.
Josh and Toby know every inch.
.
.
.
.
.
of the government, military, industrial, animal, mineral-- Folks can manage down.
Will's proven he can manage up.
A fully fledged adult.
Josh and Toby are adult, responsible, highly intelligent-- Throw me in a vat of custard with a chocolate-covered snorkel.
It's gonna be you and me this weekend, baby, and you are wearing a floppy hat! Congresswoman, thanks for seeing me.
I'm doing back-to-back meetings.
-Well, thanks for seeing me.
-Obviously, Leo's out of commission.
-I hope he's okay.
-Thank you.
We'll need your help on this tax bill.
Harder than we thought to get I'd like to amend it, appoint a monarch for the United States of America.
Oh, I'm serious.
What are these? President's public schedules for the last four months.
I've calculated that he spends .
.
.
on ribbon-cuttings and overseas tea ceremonies.
Which may be why, on his trip to Argentina.
.
.
.
.
.
he went to three banquets and didn't do a damn thing.
.
.
.
.
.
for the pork producers in Iowa.
-You can't.
This isn't-- -lf they don't get tax relief in this bill.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm calling for a monarch.
Someone to do the glad-handing, ceremonial fluff.
.
.
.
.
.
so the president will help people at home.
For a Democrat to do this, we're gonna look like buffoons.
I know the argument.
The staff runs the show while the president's off dedicating supermarkets.
All due respect, no one elected Leo, and no one elected you.
I'm sorry I'm late, congressman.
I'm sure Leo would wanna be here himself.
I'm sure.
-A few snags with the tax bill.
-So I gather.
Truth is, we could use your vote.
Your Justice Department hasn't filed a single amicus brief.
.
.
.
.
.
in the Oregon or Massachusetts gay marriage cases.
We've debated this a lot.
You know how dicey it is for the party.
-I do.
-We're headed into election year.
-We are.
-Can't get too ahead of public opinion.
.
.
-.
.
.
much as we'd like to.
-That's why I'd like to help.
.
.
-.
.
.
by introducing a bill to ban marriage.
-That's an interesting idea.
We drop a bill to ban gay marriage.
.
.
.
.
.
tag a few moderate Republicans as intolerant, but trust me.
.
.
.
.
.
it hurts our moderates My bill bans all marriage.
-AII, as in.
.
.
? -lf we can't make it available.
.
.
.
.
.
to everyone, I want us out entirely.
Leave it to churches, synagogues.
.
.
.
.
.
and, of course, casinos and department stores.
Did the RNC put you up to this? They don't condone my lifestyle, and I don't condone theirs.
-The Democratic leadership.
-What about them? Did they call to warn me that Benoit wants to ban marriage? -Ban? -lf we won't support gay marriage.
.
.
-.
.
.
he wants the government out entirely.
-Who takes that seriously? It's a direct-mail bonanza for the other side.
Even a fringe bill to ban marriage, they'll be reenacting Caligula -.
.
.
at the Republican convention.
-You'd look cute in a toga and a collar.
-Thank you.
-C.
J.
says China's joined.
.
.
.
.
.
the opposition to vote until Congress acts.
Why isn't the State Department cracking heads? The president of Turkmenistan said he knows of six wavering votes.
No, he doesn't! He's making that up! We need a coalition.
We're being mugged by a melon worshipper.
Excuse me.
This is for Mr.
Lyman from the southwest gate.
-From C.
J.
Cregg.
-Probably stuck me with the bill too.
Send it to the president of Turkmenistan.
The speaker was never for this deal.
A Security Council resolution would prod him.
What sense does it make to wait? Thank you, Madame President.
Charlie's bringing a change of clothes and a new batch of call sheets.
-Leave them at the White House.
-I'm staying here.
Tell him to leave them at the White House.
I can do this here.
The way they wire these places.
.
.
.
.
.
I could do it from a cardboard box in Lafayette Park.
You think this is your fault.
It's not.
He's my best friend.
I'm not the kind who has best friends.
Because your life is your work, and so is his.
-Your work.
-What are you trying to say? You chose this.
Both of you.
You're running a country, not a tree house.
Leo stays in the tree.
We'll work around his recovery.
-Half-days, whatever it takes.
-He's not gonna work half-days.
-He's not gonna do whatever it takes.
-That's his decision.
-We know what that will be.
-So I wake him and fire him? -It worked so well the first time.
-Let's talk about this time.
You've got to keep him out of that job.
He'll kill himself for you if you don't.
Debbie, I'm ready for my next call.
-I'm late for a briefing.
-It just started.
England, Iceland, Spain and Canada have all pledged troops for peacekeeping.
-DOD called me.
-There's something else.
Does Canada even have troops? They hurl little bottles of maple syrup? -Put out a release.
-C.
J.
-- -Something else, what? -Leo's heart's beating on its own.
He's still critical, but he's off the heart and lung machine.
I'm late for an economic briefing.
-Leo's off the pump.
-I heard.
-What's this? -A pen.
-Am I having a bar mitzvah? -The peace signing.
The prime minister used it to sign the H in his name.
I tried for the Z.
The Israeli ambassador beat me to it.
I didn't have anything to do with it.
Let's just say you were a blood donor.
I wanna stop taking those for granted.
Thank you.
Why's the treasury secretary on TV? She's probably spinning the peace deal.
C.
J.
's rolling out Cabinet heavyweights.
We ought to loop her in on that tax cut, actually.
I believe so, Steve.
I'm hopeful.
So is the president.
There are rumors circulating on the Hill about a new tax cut from the administration.
Some believe it's a way to buy support for a tough peacekeeping mission.
That's without foundation, Steve.
The Treasury did an estimate of the cost of tax cuts on top of peacekeeping.
It would substantially increase deficit.
I can guarantee the president won 't sign.
Thank you, Madame Secretary.
The Treasury estimate.
-Did you see it? -No.
-Treasury secretary did.
-Yeah.
-Pretty upset.
-Upset.
Pretty.
-We should've looped her in sooner.
-Or ever.
Yeah.
That too.
When I suggested a Treasury estimate, I assumed we told the secretary.
.
.
.
.
.
head of all federal tax policy, what in Alexander Hamilton's name we're doing.
Good assumption, though.
I'll call her press office, see if we can roll this thing back.
Tax cut just got more expensive.
I had to give incentives to pork producers to avoid a little P.
R.
problem.
-You didn't.
-What? I promised we wouldn't back amendments so Benoit wouldn't do.
.
.
.
.
.
something I don't wanna go into now.
You shouldn't negotiate specifics.
I thought "no specifics" wasn't a specific.
You made these stupid rules.
-lf I was the only one who broke them.
.
.
? -What double standard is that? Find a standard, I'll let you know.
-You run this off the top of your head? -I wanna run it off something.
-Decision-making tree.
-You at the top.
No! With you at the top.
Me? I tried to tell the president to give you the job.
-He seems to want us topless for now.
-You wanted me at the top? For two days, I've been trying to hold a meeting.
One lousy kickoff meeting on homelessness and mental health.
-The best idea you've had in months.
-It was Leo's.
He didn't want the urgent to crowd out the important.
-Getting harder to tell the difference.
-Well, someone ought to try.
We can 't just rush in with billy clubs.
Hamas and other terrorist groups will have to stand down first.
So yes, we're in discussions with the administration .
.
.
and I hope to have more to say about a possible U.
S.
military role in the Middle East very soon.
-"A possible role.
" -Still, coverage today was extraordinary.
Burst of warmth before you freeze to death.
-It's a bit drafty in here, actually.
-Shut the door.
Your meeting with the president, I'm getting questions.
Anything you wanna tell me? He wanted a few thoughts on NATO's role in peacekeeping.
NATO.
Belgium.
.
.
.
.
.
Bulgaria, Canada.
.
.
.
.
.
Denmark, Estonia.
-Well, heavens to Murgatroyd.
-What? We have all the NATO countries.
We've been focusing on the Security Council, but we have-- -Does this mean you're cooking for me? -Not a chance.
Carol? Every NATO member's endorsed the peace accord.
We're moving the goal post and claiming the match.
He's only back here to meet with the CINCs.
Do this fast.
-You go first.
-Why's that? -You've got the special relationship.
-You mean "bound for deportation.
" -He's not that upset.
-Really? No, just kidding.
He's ready to rip off his finger and light it like a cigarette.
I'd like to know why my treasury secretary's on television denouncing.
.
.
.
.
.
a tax cut I never saw because of an estimate I never asked for.
-We did offer to brief you on the details.
-Brief me now.
We're not quite ready to brief you on the details.
Because you made a complete hash of it.
The leadership's sole request before taking up peacekeeping.
We're close to 60 Democratic votes.
It's just that you might face a decision about the fall legislative agenda.
-What? -You prefer a bill to appoint.
.
.
.
.
.
an American monarch? Or a ban on the institution of marriage? Except in casinos and department stores.
Tell the speaker and the majority leader.
.
.
.
.
.
that with my newfound royal authority.
.
.
.
.
.
with all my time now that my marriage is banned.
.
.
.
.
.
and with the support of every NATO member in my pocket.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm sending peacekeepers to the Middle East.
If Congress wants to feed them, pay them.
.
.
.
.
.
or bring them back, that's up to them.
-We're free to play with the language? -We're done here.
Oh, Josh.
Shed some light on this State Department cable.
-Sir? -"Turkmenistan to U.
S.
.
.
.
.
.
we didn't order these pizzas.
" Bet you're thinking there's a really good explanation, sir.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Some welcome-home party, huh? -Oh, feels lucky just to be home.
-How's Leo? -He's in step-down.
He can see visitors pretty soon.
-Coming to the hospital? -A bit later, yeah.
-Zoey came to see me.
-I told her you were back.
You finished up at Georgetown.
-I wish she'd stop telling people.
-Why? -I'd shout it from the rooftops.
-We've got snipers up there.
-That was a metaphorical thing.
-The truth is, I'm not done.
I never took a swim test, there's forms I haven't filed.
You're holding up your college degree over paperwork and laps in a pool? When I started Georgetown.
.
.
.
.
.
the president made me promise that when I got the degree, I'd leave this job.
Why would he want you to do that? He doesn't want me holding his jacket for the rest of my life.
-I'll see you at the hospital.
-Happy almost graduation, Charlie.
I'm not wearing a tassel.
I don't care what they do to me.
Mr.
President.
A morphine drip, and we can skip the formalities.
I might get one myself.
.
.
.
.
.
wheel it into meetings with the joint chiefs.
You're not fired, Leo.
You can delegate, work part-time.
Bring the morphine with you for all I care.
You.
.
.
.
You remember.
.
.
.
.
.
what you told me.
.
.
.
.
.
when you offered me the job? "I need you to jump off a cliff.
" And I did.
And I'd do it again.
But you need a new.
.
.
.
.
.
chief of staff.
We came here to put the job first.
Spend our lives for something that would outlast us.
I just thought we'd have a longer line of credit is all.
I'm gonna need that list of names.
Only one name.
-You planted these baskets.
-I promised Donna no more traps.
It's like a torture chamber designed by a renegade Keebler elf.
I never took a moment to thank you for your work at Camp David.
.
.
.
.
.
and holding the building together-- Well, not exactly together, in Leo's absence.
It's been a rocky couple of days.
.
.
.
.
.
and that's my fault, no one else's.
We'll meet with the joint leadership tomorrow and work out that tax cut.
Even then, we've got some fences to mend at the U.
N.
.
.
.
.
.
so I imagine we'll see some pretty rough third- and fourth-day stories.
But you know what? There'll be a fifth day, and a sixth.
.
.
.
.
.
and a seventh after that.
So.
.
.
.
.
.
go spend some time with my outgoing chief of staff.
.
.
.
.
.
because then we got work to do.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
-C.
J.
-Sir? There's something I need you to do for me.
What's that? Jump off a cliff.
We'll talk about it on the ride back.
Yes, sir.