Top Gear (US) s06e03 Episode Script

- There he is.
- Oh, my God, there is just smoke and fire everywhere.
It's mayhem out here.
- Oh, it's getting close.
What's he doing? - I'm not gonna get passed by a van again.
Both: Oh! - Auto racing is one of the world's most popular sports.
In the United States, NASCAR's popularity is second to only the NFL.
But despite its appeal, racing seems out of reach for most Americans due to its massive cost.
A typical NASCAR team spends $20 million a year, but that's a drop in the bucket compared to the $500 million annual budget of a Formula 1 team.
But we think it's possible to race cars for a whole lot less.
To prove it, we're entering a race in the 24 Hours of LeMons series.
These are grueling endurance races at tracks across the country, and are restricted to cars that cost less than $500.
Our race is about 20 hours split into two days, and takes place at Sonoma Raceway in California in less than a week.
We each bought a $500 used car we think is a perfect budget racer.
But first, we're testing them against each other.
The winning car is what we'll be risking our necks in.
The two losing cars will be destroyed.
Game on.
- The key ingredient to making a good race car is light weight.
That unlocks everything else.
It unlocks good braking.
It unlocks good handling.
It unlocks good acceleration.
- This is really what this car is about.
- Let's go - When you talk about an endurance race, what it means is, "Can you race this vehicle over a long period of time-- sustained laps?" Reliability becomes a huge factor.
You need something that can actually handle the abuse that a race track is gonna bring.
- So, a budget race car-- it has to be able to endure punishment.
These cars are built for that.
After they're cop cars, then they're taxis, so we got that box checked.
Look, the lawn guy's here.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Where's your leaf blower? - Is this cool, or what? - It's terrible! - It's hard to see a strut with that thing.
- Look at what you can get for $500.
- The 1986 Nissan 720.
Built in America.
Actually, in the Nissan factory in Smyrna, Tennessee, which has produced over 10 million vehicles since 1983.
If it's lasted this long, it's definitely tough enough to last through 24 hours of racing.
- You know this is a race, right? - Yeah.
- You're supposed to go fast.
Those things couldn't even leave a traffic light.
- I'd like to point out, the hardest part about finding a $500 car that runs is finding a $500 car that runs.
- I thought I scored.
- That's not a GTI.
- No, it's not.
Even with the GTl badges, you can't hide that this is the less powerful base model, Golf.
Volkswagen has made 30 million Golfs since 1974, and about 29 million are still on the road, so they are durable.
But the best part is the weight.
It's only 2,500 pounds.
And everyone knows lighter is faster when you're racing.
- All right, there's no way you paid $500 for that.
- Yes, there is.
'96 Crown Vic, baby.
The Ford Crown Victoria is best known as a cop car.
Tough, reliable law enforcement love the Crown Vic so much, Ford produced 9.
6 million of them.
190 horsepower.
0 to 60 in 9 seconds.
Four-wheel disc brakes.
Cop suspension.
Perfect for racing.
- You guys should start writing your car eulogies now, 'cause this ladder rack is going to an endurance race.
- Yeah, 'cause the rest of the car's gonna break.
You're just gonna show up with a ladder rack.
- Look at this thing! Huh? Really ties the room together.
- Wow.
- Hey, how fast are we going right now? - I'm doing 60.
- I don't have any speedometer either.
I was guessing about 90.
- Hold on.
Here I come.
Here I come.
- Come on, Rut.
What's she got? Come on, Rut! - Hammer down! - Are you getting a cramp on your right foot from holding full throttle on that thing? - Hold on.
I got to stop and put another quarter in.
- In auto racing, top speed is crucial.
So we head to an old closed highway to test which slow car is the fastest.
- We've got this long straightaway.
It's nice and downhill.
This has got to be our top-speed run, right here.
- I like it.
- Tiny problem.
My truck actually does not-- It has what looks like a speedometer but I don't have the needle.
- Gentlemen, one of the benefits of getting a cop car.
- If he pulls out a gun, I'm out of here.
Both: Oh.
- All right.
So, we got a radar gun.
Fastest speed wins.
- Sounds good to me.
- Yeah.
Who's up first? - I'll go first.
- Yeah.
Fair enough.
- I'm telling you, that truck's faster than you think.
All right, Adam, you ready? - Yes, I am.
Let's do this, fellas.
- All right.
Here we go in three, two, one.
Hit it.
That was cool.
- This is what you've done to him.
He would've never done that before knowing you.
- That is not my fault.
- That's totally your fault.
- He thinks he's a police officer, and the law won't come and get him.
- What are we looking at here? 65 - He's already going 70.
- Come on, baby.
Oh, there's the shaking.
- This feels too close.
- He's going 85.
Get ready to jump.
90! That was way faster than I thought it would be.
Whoa! Hey! - 92.
4 miles an hour.
- I'll take it.
It's not terrible.
- Oh, it's strangely fast for such a big girl.
- Uh-huh.
- Maybe it's for me-- I think the wind's picking up.
I'll go next.
- Now we're gonna see terrible.
- Are you ready? - Yeah, I'm-- l think I'm ready here.
- We're all ready for you.
Bring it, big daddy.
Bring it.
- There is is.
Come on.
Come on, tailwind! Come on, tailwind! Oh, I got to get every bit of power out-- Come on, baby! This feels definitely like 55, at least! - 72.
He's actually going pretty quick.
- Look at that! - Oh, that was terrible.
- Not bad.
- Not safe.
- Looks like Andre the Giant decided to mow lawns for a living.
- Right? - His big paws on the steering wheel.
- Woof! - Whoo! Well, I'm surprised l didn't blow your jackets off.
It felt really fast.
- 78.
6 miles an hour.
- That's way faster than I thought.
- I know.
Me too.
92.
4 is the speed to beat.
- I'm not more concerned about the top speed.
I'm concerned of it holding together.
- Yeah, that car is junk.
- All right, Tanner.
You ready? - Whew.
Ready here.
- All right, then bring it.
- Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Dropped a little below 4,000 rpm.
Revving up.
Oh, it's feeling pretty good.
Third gear.
Feeling strong.
Feeling strong.
- Oh, it's gonna be tough.
Gonna be close to 80.
- Ooh! I think l just popped the engine.
- There he goes.
Oh, okay--easy.
Easy! - Boy, that looked really good.
- That's good there.
- Do you see you throwing stuff on me? - What are you doing? - I think I heard it.
What was the speed? - 80.
- Oh! - 80 miles an hour.
That's barely faster than a '86 Nissan pickup.
- Oh, my gosh.
At least it was faster than the truck.
- I'm ready for what's next.
I'm ready to endure something.
- 24 Hours of LeMons can be dirty and dangerous.
After all, Rubbin's Racin', and the low barrier for entry guarantees all sorts of maniacs are on the track.
So, we head to a local quarry Oh, look at this place.
For a challenge that simulates grueling race conditions and tests durability and handling.
- Whoo! This is gonna be fun.
- This place is awesome.
It's like a gravel playground.
Slide all around there.
I mean, it's basically like a rally course.
- You two do realize - Mm-hm.
- That after this, two of these cars are gonna be destroyed.
- Yes.
- You know what? You should go first.
- Have at it.
The first punishing test is a gauntlet of rock-filled punching bags that simulate race collisions and pound your car into submission.
Next, deep mounds of gravel test suspension and durability.
And finally, hairpin curves test handling.
The fastest time wins.
- So, here's how this is gonna work.
This will act as motor oil and other things that would come off other race cars.
That, of course, is debris over there.
So, we'll get it good and coated.
Turn the fan on, launch some debris at you, move the fan, count you down, you can go.
- You got it? - Let's do this.
- Track debris is a challenging part of racing.
- Get some up here.
- You're gonna clog the radiator.
- And $500 cars make it even worse.
- Oh! It's coming through.
- Engine oil, tire rubber, car parts flying at the windshield, obscured visibility.
You might even hit a chicken.
- Oh, man! - So, for accuracy, we're scientifically recreating race conditions.
- What a bunch of idiots.
- I think this is good.
- I can't see anything.
Hold on.
Yes! - All right.
Let's do this.
- Three, two, one.
Go! - He's driving with his face out the window.
These punching bags are gonna kill me! Agh! Oh, no! - Oh! - No! - Oh! - Aah! - I don't know if it's gonna survive this.
Aah! I can't see anything Pfft.
- You got a 1:49.
- That seems way too long.
- It does.
- Well, you hit a mountain.
- VW's still tickin'.
- I'll go next.
- Hardly a dent.
It looks brand new, practically.
- I'm gonna smoke your time.
- Smoke it! - Be nice.
It's an '86.
- Make sure you get the ladder rack.
- Nope! Nope! Nope! You go to hell! You got to hell! Wh-- Oh! Oh! It's just raining syrup.
Oh, no! It looks like the '70s in here.
This is why we don't hang out together.
Let's do it! - Three, two, one, go! - Got a lot of wheel spin.
- Oh, here we go.
Left turn.
Here it is.
Okay.
Aah! Both: Oh! - Oh! Son of a biscuit! Oh! Ohh! Oh! - I don't think he ever saw that thing coming.
- Boof! - Oh, jeez.
Oh, oh! Look at those-- Whoa, those are huge! Go, baby! Both: Oh! That was dumb.
Oh, man, these turns are tight.
Whoo! I can't see anything.
Oh, there it is! Whoo! - That sucks.
- Did you guys see that? - See it? We heard it.
- How's your neck? - Was that awesome, or what? - Well, you did pretty well.
1:28.
- 1:48! - 1:28! - 1:48.
It's an hour forty-eight.
- 1:28.
- Don't be mad that I beat you.
It's not your fault.
- Get it your car.
- All right.
Let's do this.
Oh! Oh! - Aah! - All right.
I think we're good.
- I think I'm out of washer fluid.
- Oh.
- Here we go, Adam, in three, two, one, go! - You realize, at this point, it's not gonna take much to win.
- Look at the feathers flying off of that thing.
It's awesome.
It looks like Big Bird on wheels.
Oh, he's gonna crash before the first one.
- There he goes.
I bet he thinks he can just hit it with the push bar.
All: Oh! - Uh-oh.
Okay, okay.
There we go.
That was good.
Oh, I can't see nothing.
Come on, baby.
Hold on.
- Look at you.
You're alive.
- I know.
I couldn't see a thing.
- Well, you're not gonna believe this, Your Crown Vic beat that piece-of-crap truck.
- Ha! What was my time? - 1:21.
- Crown Victorious.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! - That means our cars are gonna get destroyed, aren't they? - Yes, they are.
- Mother-of-pearl.
- Yes.
- It's gonna drop it right on the Golf.
This is happening.
All: Oh! Ohh! Ohh.
- It lawn-darted it! You crushed my Vee-dub.
- It is just annihilated.
- Oh, man.
- It still might run.
- Yeah, that'll buff out.
- It might be okay.
- Oh - Uh, that--sir! - That's the cleanup crew.
- Oh! Oh, that hurts.
Oh, that-- oh, it turned your lights on! - The lights are on! - That was awesome! - It wants to live! This is hard to watch, isn't it? - All right, gentlemen, who needs a ride? That would be you two.
- Shotgun.
- Before the Crown Vic can race, the interior is stripped of anything unnecessary, and safety equipment is added, like a roll cage, racing seat with a five-point harness, and a fuel cell gas tank.
So, while Adam and Rut handle the modifications to our budget race car, I'm flying halfway across the planet to drive a hypercar that's at the opposite end of the economic spectrum.
With a little luck, I'll also beat my personal top speed of 223 miles an hour.
And this is all happening in a country you might not expect: Sweden.
Yes, Sweden, the place that brought us ABBA, Dolph Lundgren, and giant blue boxes with couple arguing inside called IKEA.
Italy, Germany, Great Britain, these are countries that come to mind when you're thinking the most exotic cars in the world.
But Sweden is the nation known for building conservative, mild-mannered cars like the Saab or Volvo.
Then along came a man named Christian von Koenigsegg, obsessed with building the ultimate performance car.
This is the car that started it all.
The CC prototype.
Hand-built in 1996, It's got a 4.
2 liter V8 borrowed from Audi.
It is raw.
It is rough.
But you can see the beginnings of something special.
This is the CC8S, Koenigsegg's first production car.
At 655 horsepower, It was the most powerful production car of its time, but it was only the beginning.
This is the CCR, the car that, in 2005, finally realized Koenigsegg's dream of conquering the production car top speed world record.
The record was soon beaten by the Bugatti Veyron.
So, what did Koenigsegg do? He built the CCXR.
It has 1,018 horsepower.
It's the first Koenigsegg legal in the USA.
His attempts to conquer the U.
S.
market would continue with one of these: The Agera R.
Looks similar from the outside, but under the skin, it's a completely redesigned car.
It does have a world record: Going from 0 to 186 miles an hour, and back to 0 In just over 21 seconds.
And Koenigsegg's obsession with speed that fueled faster and faster cars has led to this: The One:1.
It can go from 0 to 185 mph and back to 0 In the time it takes a 911 Turbo to hit 150 mph.
There's only seven of these cars in the world, and the good people at Koenigsegg have lent me one so that I can attempt to break my own personal top speed record of 223 miles an hour.
- Coming up All right, here we go, baby.
The budget race begins.
- Oh, it's mayhem out here! - Oh! - This is just a brute force machine with as much power to weight ratio as an F-16 fighter jet.
One:1 Horsepower to kilograms.
It's incredible.
To put in a 0 to 60 time of 2.
5 seconds with just two wheels driven is spectacular.
9-second quarter mile.
It gets to 100 miles an hour in 4.
5 seconds.
Koenigsegg is trying to accomplish everything with this beast.
Turning, braking, downforce, nimble feel just fun.
Squashing the compromise with 1,360 horsepower.
It might be onto something.
Holy f-- Whoo! That is awesome.
I'm here for one reason, and that is to take this 1,300 horsepower car on this runway, and break my personal top speed record of 223 miles an hour.
In European, that's 360 kilometers an hour.
Now, this car can do well over 250, but on a short mile-and-a-half-long runway with rain closing in, it's gonna be tough.
Anything happens over 200 miles an hour: A puncture, a wing comes off the rear, my ticket is a one-way ticket.
Drama.
Gonna break some damn records.
Oh, my God, the acceleration is unbelievable.
I'm at 250.
That's 300.
That's 320.
340, oh, my God! 360 kilometers an hour.
Whoo! Yeah! That's 225 miles an hour.
That's my personal best.
After the fastest ride of my life, I catch up with Rut and Adam at the Sonoma Raceway in Northern California, a 2.
5 mile, 12-turn road course that's home to an annual NASCAR race.
Their job was to prep Adam's Crown Victoria for the 24 Hours of LeMons endurance race.
It's restricted to cars that cost less than $500, but that doesn't include safety gear or decorations.
LeMons is a parody of the 24 Hours of Le Mans, the world's oldest endurance race, and one of the world's most prestigious motorsports events.
But prestige is not what we're after.
We're here to prove anyone can race cars on a budget.
And now our hopes rest in the hands of these two idiots and whatever they've done to the car.
- Well, look at this.
- Oh, - Good morning.
- Hi.
- How are you? - Tired.
- How was Sweden? - Sweden was awesome.
- How were the meatballs? - Decent.
- How was the Koenigsegg? - Koenigsegg was insane.
- Yeah.
- I went 225 miles an hour, the fastest I've ever gone in a car.
Like, it was incredible.
- I'm glad you got that out of your system, 'cause I don't think that's gonna happen today.
- So I'm ready to race.
I hope you guys built a good one it's about making it lightweight.
- Well, that's a choice.
- Yeah, a lot of people do that.
- Where is it? - You want to see it? - Yeah, I want to see it.
- Eh? - Ta-da! Did you do? - It's a lemonade stand! - You only added weight to it.
- No, no, no, no.
We added style and class.
- Whose idea was this? - I'll have you know my daughters came up with it.
- We're making children happy, you miserable bastard.
- Yeah, we're talking smiles per mile, here.
- I appreciate that your daughters did this.
That's amazing.
- Thank you.
- Is this thing ready to race, or what? - Hell yes.
- Despite the name, this race isn't actually 24 hours straight.
Instead, it's two days in a row from about dawn to dusk.
The team that completes the most laps wins.
Teams can have up to six drivers, and switch whenever they want.
With only three of us, we're at a huge disadvantage.
It's like each of us has to drive two Daytona 500s in just as many days, except we have to turn left and right.
So it's a battle against exhaustion, Adam's bladder, and everyone else on the track.
Should be fun.
Take your time.
Just learn the line.
- Got it.
- Once you learn the racing line, stay on it.
If there's somebody who's gonna pass you, they need to pass you.
- It's a marathon, not a sprint.
- I understand.
- That's what endurance racing is.
- Ready.
- Oh, great.
Look at you.
- This is cool and scary.
I just don't want to wreck the car.
- Right.
- And Adam, whatever you do - Yeah? - If something happens, if the car breaks, whatever, do not get out of the car.
- That would be bad.
- Unless it's on fire.
- Unless it's on fire, and then help me Oprah, help me Tom Cruise, you get your ass out of there.
Have a great time.
Both: Okay.
- Okay, this is it.
No pressure.
We're going racing.
- Who are we kidding? I'm not a race car driver.
I just drive fast and don't have a risk management system.
But I'm not letting the boys down.
My goal is to not wreck the car.
I just wish I'd peed before I got in this thing.
- Let's go up here.
- This is my prime directive: don't wreck the car.
Ha-ha! - NASCAR races have 43 cars, but this thing has over 150, so the race begins with a rolling start, where the cars can drive at a slow, safe speed before the green flag is waved, and they can accelerate to full speed.
- Okay, Adam, green flag, green flag.
Pedal to the metal, buddy.
- Coming up - He's gonna cause a wreck.
- Oh! Where every car must cost less than $500 To prove you can race on a budget.
Adam's up first, but he's never raced before.
This is my prime directive: Don't wreck the car.
Ha-ha! - Did we make a mistake sending him out first? - Yep.
- This is so cool.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Wow! They just fly right by you! I didn't even see that guy.
Or that guy.
I can't see nothing.
- These cars are way faster than I thought they'd be.
- Way faster.
Do you notice how many 4-cylinders are hauling ass? - Yeah, 'cause they're lightweight.
- Got a big V8.
- It's not the weight! - It is.
- Come on, baby.
Come on.
You got something in you.
- That's him.
- You sure? - Yeah.
He's got a whole row of traffic behind him.
Go, Adam.
Go, go, go! - Oh! He's gonna cause a wreck.
- Whoa! - Come on, Adam! - Hee-hee! I'm not dead! That's so good! Aw, she's loose.
That was scary.
Okay, I got the line.
The car's crap, but I'm not giving up! - He's going faster.
You just passed a pinto.
- At least I got to pass somebody.
- Now he passed you back.
- Aw, that's just embarrassing.
Maybe there is a little too much weight on this thing.
- I think that Nissan truck would've been faster at this point.
- Yeah, I think so too.
- Uh-oh.
Double yellow, Adam.
Double yellow.
Everybody's gonna go into a single file.
- We're gonna bring you in this lap under caution and change drivers.
- It seems like Adam's been on the track forever, and the yellow flag is a perfect time to bring him in without sacrificing too many laps.
To survive two days of racing, teams have to regularly swap drivers during the race.
- How was that? - That was fun.
- Let's do this.
All right, here we go, baby.
I'm no Tanner Foust, but I actually do have some racing experience.
We've only completed 13 laps, so my goal is to log as many laps as possible while keeping the car together.
- Oh, this thing shakes and rattles.
- How's it feel so far? - This thing is a pile of-- - Yeah, it pretty much is.
- Can you ask anyone if they have a decent set of tires? - Yeah, I was gonna mention that too.
The tires suck.
- Tires weren't in the budget.
They're not that important for racing, anyway, right? - I think my little pickup truck would've done better handling-wise.
At the end of the day, we could've gotten it low enough, put a better set of wheels and tires on there.
- Oh, God.
- Thank you.
You look at some of these cars-- they are not $500 cars, I'll tell you right now.
These are just cars with really good stuff underneath them.
It's just the outsides are slapped together.
- Come on, come on.
Go! Go, Rut! - Oh, this car is so used up right now.
The tires are shot.
The brakes are nonexistent.
Everything is making noise.
- Just survive.
That thing's falling apart.
- Is it dusk yet? How long have I been out here? - You did 15 laps.
We're 147th.
- Moving up, slowly.
- All right, he's coming in.
Let's go meet him in the pit.
- Oh! - After hours behind the wheel, my back is learning the true meaning of endurance racing.
And my arms are Jell-O from muscling the weight of the lemonade stand through the corners.
Maybe Tanner has a point about the weight.
So far, we've chalked up 29 laps, putting us in the middle of the pack.
Now it's time to get some mileage out of Tanner's racing experience unless he breaks the car first.
It's a little tricky uphill and downhill.
Brakes are a little soft.
- Right and left is pretty tough too.
But other than that, you'll be fine.
- Why does it smell like gas in here? - I had a burrito for breakfast.
- Great.
- All right pal, get back out.
- All right, here we go.
- Go win this thing.
- Give 'em hell, little fella.
- Take a good look at this.
Last time it's gonna look like that.
- You took a picture for your daughters, right? - Oh, yeah.
- I'm in my element at the track.
Racing is what I do.
I'm gonna do my best to make up laps, but I'm not pulling any punches.
- I'm on the track! I'm on the track! - There he is.
- Oh, it's mayhem out here.
Oh, my God, there's just smoke and fire everywhere.
- Oh, it's getting close.
- Fan out! - What's he doing? - I'm not gonna get passed by a van again.
Both: Oh! To prove anyone can race on a budget.
The main goal is to hold our $500 car together and keep it on the track.
But now raceboy's at the wheel.
- I'm not gonna get passed by a van again.
Both: Oh! - I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- All you all right? - Holy crap, I almost flipped the van over, guys.
- You're doing great, man.
- Oh, I just got a black flag.
- You've been in the car two laps, and you've already got a black flag.
- That van, like, came out of nowhere.
- In motorsports, a black flag summons the driver to the pits.
Usually, this means they've broken the rules and are being penalized.
In this race, the penalty is both a time delay and humiliation.
- All our hard work, and you're in the penalty box.
- I've been watching him pass you guys all day.
I wasn't gonna give him a piece of that.
- Oh, this is for us is what you're saying.
- That was for you guys, and now what's happening is for you.
- Your job now is to dance, and thereby doing, feel shame.
So, one, two, three.
- Okay, I'm getting back in the car.
- Why don't you not hit people this time? - The penalty set us back a few laps.
With this dumb lemonade stand on the Crown Vic, it's so heavy and slow, it's almost impossible to pass anyone.
Our best strategy is to just keep it on the track and wait for the other cars to break down.
- I'm losing wood paneling everywhere, guys.
- Come on, you big turds.
As the token race car driver, I end up with the most seat time.
But hours of wrestling this behemoth around the track is taking a toll.
- Heavy.
And slow.
And hot.
And heavy.
I mean, I'm getting a foot cramp, I'm pushing the gas pedal so hard.
- Ready to go again? - Yeah, I'll go.
- All right, bring it in next time by.
We'll meet you in the pit.
- Drivers also need to watch the fuel gauge.
The cars need fuel several times a day, depending on their efficiency.
And budget racing means no pit crew, so teams do their own refueling.
We must be in the top 145 by now.
Good fuel stop.
Good fuel stop.
- We just need a number since the hood piece is gone.
- Okay, now, I've created a few enemies out there.
- I'm not gonna lie.
They're not gonna know the difference between you and me.
- Oh, yeah? - They're probably gonna attack you a little bit.
- I understand.
- It's just how they do it at Le Mans.
All right, go get 'em.
- Go, go, go! - There are no brakes left.
Come on, just hold together.
Oh, there's the van chasing me.
He thinks I'm Tanner.
He's pissed.
- Hammer down, buddy! Hammer down! - Who wants some lemonade? Ha-haa! All right, Rut, get ready.
- Go get 'em, Rut.
- Oh, she is slowing down.
- Sun's going down, pal.
Stand on it.
Make up some time.
- Yes, sir.
- Oh! - Sorry.
Sorry, man.
- Hey, Rut, you okay? - We got to do something about these brakes.
They are gone.
- Finish strong, baby.
- Checkered flag is out.
Checkered flag is out, Rut.
- I am coming in.
I am coming in.
- Yeah! - Yes! - That's day one, in the books! - With 62 laps completed, we're 146th out of 177.
I admit the lemonade stand is a big problem because the extra weight cooks the brakes and makes cornering impossible.
But we're also shorthanded with only three drivers.
- Get out of there.
Get out of there.
- Ugh! - We have 12 more hours of racing left, and we're only 145 positions behind first place.
It's good to have goals.
Let the comeback victory begin! - Stig! - Perfect.
- Yeah! Look at the car.
Team! Yeah, man.
Up high.
- Thank you, brother.
- It's cool.
- Okay.
- Uh, wow.
- Look, okay, we got rid of all the weight up top.
- That must have been what? 1,500 pounds? The wood's gone, the taillights are out, a bunch of speed holes.
It looks like it's got new brakes, too.
- New brakes? - Stig did everything! All right.
Let's get it out on the track.
Okay, a couple things to know: this car sucks.
So actually, there's just one thing to know.
- And he's off! - Go get 'em! - With The Stig in the race as our fourth driver, we now have a chance to make up some ground.
But to even break the top 100, we need to complete at least 80 laps.
- That's a good sign.
I feel like we've got a glimmer of hope.
- Come on, Stig.
Come on! - Hey, he's passing somebody.
Whoa, that thing's got some power now, right? Did you see it accelerate with all that weight off? Here he comes.
Watch this move.
- Oh, he's dive-bombing.
It off! - Oh! - Yeah! - It's mayhem out there.
- Oh! Oh, it's smoking.
Is he spinning the tires, or is that smoke? - Wait a minute.
He's got a black flag.
- It's on fire? - It's on fire! Is he out of the car? - Yeah, I think so.
- Welcome to motorsport.
- Yep.
Look, you're cleaning up oil.
The Stig left a trail of oil up the left side of turn one.
- If they're cleaning up oil - We don't know that's our oil.
- That's got-- it has to be our oil! So that was, what, 20 laps? - He was out there for 45 minutes.
He was making up ground.
Let's just go see if it's completely burned to the ground or not.
- Oh, man.
- Ugh.
- All right, so Stig's okay.
How's the car? So, was there fire or just smoke? Was there, like, a boom? I saw you move left and right, so it was down on power, right? And then did you see an oil pressure light? Or, like, was there any indicator? Okay, you know what? I'll just check it out.
I'm glad you're alive.
- Come on, fellas.
She still might have some life left in her.
- Yep, okay.
- There we go.
- What do we got, big guy? - Wow.
- Wow? Good wow? Bad wow? - Oh, my.
Look at that.
- How bad? - Wow.
- Is this what a proctologist sounds like? - Is she gonna live? That's all we want to know.
Give it to us straight.
Oh! - Ugh.
- So, this is the connecting rod here, which attaches to the piston, which moves up and down in the engine, and, normally, it's inside the engine, but with The Stig's help, it evacuated itself through a large hole in the side of the block, and it took another friend with it.
- We threw two rods? - Yeah.
So this would be what I would call "grenading the engine.
" - But he was killing it.
The Stig-- - Not "he's killing it.
" He killed it.
- Well - There's no way we could pull this engine-- if we had another-- Replace it, and get back out there before they finish.
- I've seen cars with spare engines.
How do you do that with $500? - Exactly.
You don't.
And this whole thing you don't do for $500.
But we did do it for $500.
And I had a lot of fun doing it.
- I mean, everything was kind of going our way.
We did 79 laps, which is not bad.
That's over 200 miles of racing.
I can sleep well knowing we truly spent $500 on a car.
- Oh, yeah.
- That's what it is.
- You hungry? - Fun times.
- I could eat.
- You hungry? - Yeah.
I'm gonna keep this if that's cool.
- I know you are.
- Good.
Make a keychain, or maybe I'll make you one earring.