Black Mirror (2011) s06e04 Episode Script

1
And, of course, the news that everyone
is talking about in LA today
is that the Tom-Kitten has a name.
That's right. Tom and Katie
have issued a statement
naming their new baby Suri.
That's right, folks, Suri Cruise.
According to the statement, Su
Hey, Bo. What's up?
Yeah, J.P., I've been
sitting here for two hours,
but there's no sign of them.
So, they're still at it?
- Are you sure it was him?
- Have I ever let you down?
I'll let you know.
Hey. Can I talk to you?
You with an agency?
I can pay.
For those pictures.
Five hundred dollars?
You're killing me.
Please.
- Shit.
- Lady, please. You can't do this.
You're killing me!
Fuck.
Fucking animal!
TV's Justin Camley enjoys
a little afternoon delight
with a male buddy.
Okay. This, this, and this.
- Two-fifty each.
- Two-fifty?
Come on, man. Three hundred.
Camley hasn't been on
TV in, like, four years.
He was on that VH1 thing.
And he offered me 500.
Okay.
Three each.
Don't wanna tell you what it is ♪
Ooh-wee, it felt so serious ♪
Got me thinking just too much ♪
I wanna set it off, but ♪
Bo?
It's this one thing
that got me trippin' ♪
- Bo.
- Hey Oh!
- Hey, sorry.
- Hey.
Sorry.
I got paid. It's a new toy.
Can you believe how small it is?
- That's great.
- Yeah.
- Cool, right?
- Yeah.
So,
you know I don't like to judge
other people's lifestyle choices.
But I have really delicate sinuses.
And when you fry garlic and ginger,
it just makes the whole
apartment a little acrid?
Yeah, sure, I'll, um
- Yeah, I'll open the window, Nathan.
- Thank you so much.
Yeah.
US and Iraqi troops have
been engaging the militants
in a house-to-house battle
as they try to clear out the
remaining pockets of resistance.
The US military
Hey, I'll take a skinny vanilla latte.
Sure.
to support the ongoing operation.
And we have celebrity news breaking
right now here in Hollywood.
Former Sea of Tranquility
star Justin Camley
has been found dead in
his Hollywood Hills home.
TMZ are reporting he was found
hanged in an apparent suicide.
Only days ago, the scandal broke
that Justin had been cheating
on his long-term girlfriend
with another man.
This whole Justin Camley
situation is sad as shit, Bo,
but it's not your fault.
You were just doing
your job, that's all.
Yeah, I know.
- Can't say I sympathize with the guy.
- Whitty, come on.
Sorry. Did someone force
him to become an actor?
Whitty, shut the fuck up.
He wanted his face out
there, money, the rest of it.
And then he gets sad
because he feels "exposed."
It's just dumb.
Can't handle the consequences,
don't enter the game.
Duke's right.
And half of these assholes
would kill themselves
if we didn't take their picture.
My limo guy says he's got
Sydney Alberti in the back.
Slutty Alberti.
Slutty Alberti.
Where you going to stay tonight, Sydney?
Come on, Sydney!
Sydney!
- Sydney, over here.
- Come on!
- Right here.
- You're looking beautiful. I love
Sydney, right here!
- Sydney!
- Looking great. I love that dress.
- You look great in white.
- What are you wearing?
Sydney! This way, you skank!
I love your sex tape. Fucking whore!
You piece of shit! Say
it to my fucking face!
- Say it to my face!
- You touch me again. That is assault!
I've got witnesses!
You tou Touch me again!
You're gonna hear from my lawyer.
Miss Cattermole? Is
everything all right?
Never better.
Cut!
Okay, guys, that's a wrap for day two.
Take your sides for tomorrow
if you don't have them.
Make sure you check your call
sheets for pre-call. Great job.
- Um, give me that.
- Thank you.
Um, there's a treat in
the pocket from Stephan.
Oh.
"I was schooled at Wycombe Abbey."
"I was schooled at Wycombe Abbey."
Wick.
Wick-um.
Wick-um.
Abbey.
Abbey.
"I was schooled at Wycombe Abbey."
I was schooled at
Wycombe. Wycombe Abbey.
Ooh, baby, don't you know I suffer? ♪
Ooh, baby, can you hear me moan? ♪
You caught me under false pretenses ♪
How long before you let me go? ♪
Ooh, oh ♪
You set my soul alight ♪
Ooh ♪
You set my soul alight ♪
Glaciers melting
in the dead of night ♪
You set my soul alight ♪
Glaciers melting
in the dead of night ♪
- And the superstars ♪
- You set my soul ♪
You set my soul alight ♪
Glaciers melting
in the dead of night ♪
- And the superstars ♪
- You set my soul ♪
Supermassive black hole ♪
Supermassive black hole ♪
Supermassive black hole ♪
Supermassive black hole ♪
Road is closed. I go around.
What did he what did he say?
They found man in road.
A man?
Mm-hmm. They think hit-and-run.
Mazey, Hair and Makeup
are ready for you.
It's been two whole
weeks since Mazey Day,
star of the EverWish saga,
abruptly left the set of the
third installment of the franchise.
No one has seen her
- I I heard you come in.
- Yeah.
This is really hard for me.
I'm not good at
confrontation, so my therapist
suggested that I use cue cards.
And
Mm.
"As you know, your share
of the rent is late."
"And I have noticed
groceries disappearing
from my clearly marked
personal shelf in the fridge."
- "While I truly value our friendship "
- Nathan.
Please.
"I do not feel it is appropriate
for me to financially support "
Nathan.
I'll get the money.
Thank you.
All right, that's Erika and
Brad. Have a nice day, y'all.
'Sup, Bo?
Haven't you heard? No dogs allowed.
Meow.
You got a minute?
Like I said, Hec, I'm out.
I'm not trying to tempt you back in.
Yeah, 'cause you're
scared of the competition.
Maybe I respect your
decision. Thought about that?
So, why are you here?
I thought that maybe you
could help me with something.
Help you with what?
Mazey Day.
The actress.
Yeah, Mazey Day. What about her?
You know, she's filming in
Czechoslo-somewhere, one of those.
Started day drinking. Erratic
behavior. Stopped showing up to set.
Angry one day, fucking weeping the
next. Basically gone fucking wacko.
So, that's your professional
psychiatric opinion of the situation?
She got kicked off the
movie set two weeks ago,
flew home, and no one's seen her since.
Not home, nowhere.
So, everybody's cool with
leaving her alone, then?
Nick's offering 30K for
the first photo of her.
- 30K?
- 30K.
Forty if you catch her
looking like a junkie.
I've been hitting up all my peeps, but
no leads. Nothing. Nada.
You, um, still keep in
touch with your snitch?
I took his number off my phone.
All right, well, if you happen to
find that you wrote it somewhere,
let me know.
- Hey, J.P.
- Hey, stranger.
Um
- Have you heard anything on Mazey Day?
- Thought you'd given up on all this.
Yeah, this could be the
kind of payday I could use.
Look, I only know what
everyone else knows.
She's not at home. Gotta be
holed up somewhere, but no clue.
All right, cool.
Uh, let me know if that changes.
Hello? Food delivery.
Oh, I think I have
some money in my purse.
It's okay.
Mr. G said while you're
a guest in his house,
he's left money to cover everything.
So, she still has a membership,
but she hasn't been since when?
You haven't seen her in a while.
You can give me a call
if she pops by again.
Let me know if that changes.
You can call me here if
anything changes. Thank you. Bye.
Where the fuck are you?
Hmm.
Mazey Day's a fan, huh?
She says she orders here every week?
Mm-hmm.
- Come on.
- She still does.
Saw her yesterday.
Really?
She's staying at some,
like, producer's house.
Ms. Day?
The first step is to recognize
that you're not in control of this.
It has taken you over.
And you must be humble
in the face of it.
Hm?
I've arranged a place
where we can take you.
Private, out of town,
just for a few days.
You need isolation.
Away from anyone
and anything.
Dr. Babich.
Can you get me better?
Well, it's about getting
you through tonight.
And then the next night.
Then we see.
Okay.
Shit.
Fuck yeah.
This better be you, Mazey.
The fuck are we going?
Fuck it.
Oh shit.
Fuck.
Oh shit.
Hey. What the fuck?
Goddammit!
Fuck!
Thanks, guys. Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Day going well?
Absolutely not.
I'm guessing you could use a coffee.
Or a beer?
Coffee's fine.
Coffee it is.
Do you know anyone with
a tow truck around here?
- Car trouble?
- Yeah.
Uh, Mitch runs the repair shop in town,
but he came by here this morning.
He'll be gone for the day.
Would he come if I called him?
No, I mean, you know
gone for the day.
Oh God.
Is there a motel within
crawling distance?
Uh, the only place near here
is the Cedar Wood Retreat.
That's really more of a rehab place.
A rehab?
Yeah, but for, like, rich
hippie types, you know?
It's a little New Age for my blood.
Maybe they have a bed for the night?
Yeah, you got no chance of that.
Uh, Kyle, that's my uncle,
most days he's a masseuse there.
He says someone hired the
entire complex for the weekend.
The whole place?
All the staff sent home,
so it's empty, ultra-private.
The whole place for, like,
one person the whole time.
Any clue who the one person is?
Someone rich who wants to
get straight on the down-low.
Oh, hey. You were right.
- Compliments to the chef.
- Mm-hmm.
- Thumbs up for the pecan pie, Jesse.
- We aim to please.
Wait, wait, wait. Hey, hey, no, no.
- Come on. Let's go.
- I just got here.
That's a long-ass ride.
No time for a soda?
You want a soda, or you want Mazey Day?
Yeah, that's what I thought. Thank you.
- You actually know where we're going?
- Just shut up and trust me.
- It was worth a shot.
- Was it?
- What if it would have opened the door?
- No one's hopping this fence.
What is this, Jurassic Park?
Got a T. rex in there or something?
No, they're just keeping
people like us out.
How sure are you she's in there?
85%.
85%?
Maybe 80.
- Eighty? It's gonna be 75 in a
- Wait, wait, wait. You hear that?
Hide the bike.
Oh shit.
Is that Whitty's car?
- Did you tell him?
- No, did you?
No!
Hey, ladies.
- Where'd you put it? Underneath my seat?
- Where's what?
Your fucking tracker is what.
I think of it as an unpaid informant.
It's under the gas tank.
Two chunks of shit!
Like you've never
popped one under a limo.
- This is legit journalism.
- Oh, Mr. Pulitzer.
- He's adorable.
- This is stealing intel.
Ooh, yeah, some intel.
Fuck you doing out here, huh?
It's gotta be Mazey Day, right?
- This was my find.
- Yeah, I heard of this place.
Private A-list "holistic
experiences." Super kooky.
Sounds like a rehab joint.
Let's find a way in.
Fuckin'
Fucking privacy screen.
Which means whatever
they do on the other side
has gotta be worth seeing.
- You're literally crawling in the dirt.
- Shut up.
Ladies first.
- Terry.
- Hey, Clay.
- I'll do the chicken.
- Sure thing.
What the hell is that sound?
It's like a power tool.
Door's opening.
Is he carrying a rivet gun?
Fuck, that's the guy who slashed
my tires. Mazey Day is here.
Okay, my friends. That's Dmitri
Babich, specialist doctor to the stars.
Ah, the big addiction guy. My
guess says she's on crystal meth.
More like coke.
Isn't Babich into holistic voodoo
or some shit? Is he even a doctor?
For Hollywood, just about.
She must've been
desperate to call him in.
Okay.
Is that her?
- I think it's her.
- Holy shit. This is 30 grand.
Is that a fucking chain?
- Is that a fucking chain around her neck?
- Kinky shit.
What?
Babich shackled her
up for the cold turkey.
That's fucking illegal, Hector.
- Shit.
- Jesus!
Bo, what the fuck Bo, what are you
Shit!
Oh shit.
Oh shit. Fuck.
Oh my God.
Shit!
Guys, she's burning up.
So much for sexy shots.
You gotta go.
Guys, can you just stop for one minute?
Stop! She's chained to the floor!
They say I gotta be alone.
Gotta get through this alone.
They say a lot of shit!
Okay. We're gonna get you out.
What the fuck?
Get the fuck away from me!
- Here we go.
- Get the fuck away.
- Mazey?
- Please.
You don't understand!
Mazey, I just
Mazey.
Go!
Run! Run away!
- Oh fuck!
- What the fuck is this?
Oh!
Just go!
- Please!
- Bo, Bo, Bo.
- Oh my God!
- Oh my God! What the fuck?
Bo, Bo, Bo. No, we gotta go, Bo.
We have to go, Bo!
Oh my God. What's wrong with her?
Oh, fuck me.
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Shit, shit.
- We gotta go!
- Just a couple more.
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Come on! Let's go!
- Guys! Guys, help!
- Shit.
Help!
- Hector, what are you doing?
- His shots are worth a million each, Bo.
A million
each!
- Come on.
- Come on! Go, go, go, go!
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Goddamn.
It's good, right?
Another satisfied victim.
Goddamn, Jesse.
Good to know.
That's what you ought to
call that, "pecan perfection."
I mean, the chicken was
perfection. The chicken was perfect.
- It is so easy to screw up chicken.
- Oh yeah.
Not many people know this.
They think, "Oh, well, you just
drop it in the deep fryer." No.
It's not about frying chicken.
You're gonna sauté it, bake it
But it's gotta be done, you know
Because you undercook it, and, you know,
people die.
Lock it.
Whoa, whoa! What
- What
- Okay.
Are you okay? What
What is
It could come in. It's out there!
It could be coming this way!
We need to block the door!
Ma'am. What has happened?
- Ma'am, calm down.
- Officer. Please just call for help.
- Calm down.
- Call for help! Call for help!
- I will momentarily, ma'am, but first
- Please.
- Fucking call for help!
- Calm down.
Take a few deep breaths, settle down,
and explain to me what has happened.
Then maybe we can figure out
how we're gonna move forward.
No, just please fucking call for help!
- I will do that momentarily, ma'am.
- She's here.
But first, I need to understand
No, no, no, no!
- Okay, back up!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Officer. Sir.
- Stay down. Stay down.
- No, you don't under
Officer! Officer! It's
out there, Officer!
You need to call for backup, Office
Hey, Jesse, you okay?
Jesse?
No!
Hec. Hec.
Kill me.
Please.
Kill me.
Please.
Just just shoot me.