Doctor Who s06e04 Episode Script

Will it be me, Uncle? Yes, it's going to be you.
I only wish I could go in your place, Idris.
Nah, I don't, cos it's really going to hurt.
It's starting.
What will happen? Oh.
Um, er, Nephew will drain your mind and your soul from your body and leave your body empty.
I'm scared! I expect so, dear.
But soon you'll have a new soul.
There'll be a Time Lord coming! Then we discovered it wasn't the robot king after all, it was the real one.
Fortunately, I was able to re-attach the head.
Do you believe any of this stuff? I was there.
Oh, it's the warning lights.
I'm getting rid of those, they never stop! Hey.
You're still thinking about it, aren't you? Shhh! We saw him die! Yeah, 200 years in the future.
Yes, but it's still going to happen.
KNOCKING What was that? The door.
It knocked.
Right.
We are in deep space.
Very, very deep.
KNOCKING ON DOOR And somebody's knocking.
Oh, come here.
Come here, you scrumptious little beauty! A box?! Doctor, what is it? I've got mail! Time Lord emergency messaging system.
We'd wrap up thoughts in psychic containers and send them through time and space.
There's a Time Lord out there, and it's one of the good ones! You said there were no other Time Lords left.
No Time Lords left in the universe, but the universe isn't where we're going! See that snake? The mark of the Corsair.
Fantastic bloke.
He had that snake as a tattoo in every regeneration.
Didn't feel like himself without the tattoo.
Or herself, a couple of times.
Ooh, she was a bad girl! What's happening?! We're leaving the universe! How can you leave the universe? With difficulty! Right now I'm burning up TARDIS rooms to give us some welly.
Goodbye, swimming pool, goodbye, scullery, sayonara, squash court seven! OK.
OK.
Where are we? Outside the universe, where we've never, ever been.
Is that meant to be happening? It's the power.
It's draining.
Everything's draining! But it can't.
That's That's impossible.
What is that? It's as if the matrix, the soul of the TARDIS, has just vanished.
Where would it go? So what kind of trouble's your friend in? He was in a bind, a bit of a pickle, sort of distressed.
Aw, you can't just say you don't know.
But what is this? The scrap yard at the end of the universe? Not end of, outside of.
How we can we be outside the universe? The universe is everything.
Imagine a great big soap bubble with one of those tiny little bubbles on the outside.
OK.
Well, it's nothing like that.
Completely drained, look at her.
So we're in a tiny bubble universe, sticking to the side of the bigger bubble universe? Yeah.
No.
But if it helps, yes.
This place is full of rift energy.
She'll probably refuel just by being here.
Now this place, what do we think, eh? Gravity's almost earth-normal, air's breathable, but it smells like Armpits.
Armpits.
Where did this stuff come from? There's a rift, stuff gets sucked through it.
A plughole.
The universe has a plughole and we've fallen down it.
Thief! Thief! You're my thief! She's dangerous! Guard yourselves! Look at you! Goodbye! No, not goodbye, what's the other one? Watch out! Careful, keep back from her! Welcome, strangers, lovely.
Sorry about the mad person.
Why am I a thief? What have I stolen? You're going to steal me.
No, you have stolen me.
You are stealing me.
Tenses are difficult, aren't they? Oh, we are sorry, my dove.
She's off her head.
They call me Auntie.
I'm Uncle.
I'm everybody's uncle.
Just keep back from this one, she bites! Do I? Excellent.
Ow! No, ow, ow! Oh, biting's excellent! It's like kissing, only there's a winner! Sorry.
She's doolally.
No, not doolally.
I'm I'm It's on the tip of my tongue.
I've just had a new idea about kissing.
Come here, you! Idris, no, no! Oh, but now you're angry.
No, you're not.
You will be angry.
The little boxes will make you angry.
Sorry? The little what? Boxes? SHE LAUGHS Your chin is hilarious! It means the smell of dust after rain.
What does? Petrichor.
But I didn't ask.
Not yet.
But you will.
No, Idris.
I think you should have a rest.
Yes, yes, good idea! I'll just see if there's an off switch.
Is that it? She dead now.
So sad.
She's still breathing.
Nephew, take Idris somewhere she can not bite people.
Oh, hello! Doctor, what is that? It's all right.
It's an Ood! Oods are good, love an Ood.
Hello, Ood.
Can't you talk? Oh, I see, it's damaged.
May I? It might be on the wrong frequency.
Nephew was broken when he came here.
Why, he was half dead.
House repaired him.
House repaired all of us.
'If you are receiving this message, please help me.
'Send a signal to the High Council of the Time Lords on Gallifry.
'Help! I'm still alive! I don't know where I am.
'I'm on some rock-like planet.
' What was that? Was that him? No, no, it's picking up something else.
That's That's not possible.
That's Who else is here? Tell me.
Show me! Show me! Just what you see.
It's just the four of us, and the House.
Nephew.
Will you take Idris somewhere safe where she can't hurt nobody? The House? What's the House? House is all around you, my sweets.
You are standing on him.
This is the House.
This world.
Would you like to meet him? Meet him?! I'd love to.
This way.
Come, please.
Come.
What's wrong? What were those voices? Time Lords.
It's not just the Corsair.
Somewhere close by there are lots and lots of Time Lords.
I'm I'm Big word, sad word.
Why is that word so sad? No! Will be sad.
Will be sad.
Come.
Come, come.
You can see the House and he can look at you and he I see.
This asteroid is sentient.
We walk on his back, breathe his air.
Eat his food Smell its armpits.
And do my will.
You are most welcome, travellers.
Doctor that voice, that's the asteroid talking? Yes.
So you're like a sea urchin.
Hard outer surface.
That's the planet we're walking on.
Big, squashy, oogly thing inside.
That's you.
That is correct, Time Lord.
Ah! So you've met Time Lords before? Many travellers have come through the rift, like Auntie and Uncle and Nephew.
I repair them when they break.
So there are Time Lords here then? Not any more, but there have been many Tardises on my back in days gone by.
Well, there won't be any more after us.
Last Time Lord.
Last TARDIS.
A pity.
Your people were so kind.
Be here in safety, Doctor.
Rest, feed, if you will.
We're not actually going to stay here, are we? It seems like a friendly planet.
Literally.
Mind if we poke around? You can look all you want.
Go, look.
House loves you.
Come on then, gang.
We're just going to, erm see the sights.
GIBBERISH Oh! What was that? Do fish have fingers? Like a nine year old trying to rebuild a motorbike.
What am I saying? Why am I saying that? Thief! Where's my thief? SCREAMS: Thief! Thief! Shh, shh.
So as soon as the TARDIS is refuelled, we go, yeah? There are Time Lords here.
I heard them and they need me.
You told me about your people and you told me what you did.
If they're like the Corsair, they're good, I can save them! Then tell them you destroyed the others?! I can explain.
Tell them why I had to.
You want to be forgiven.
Don't we all? What do you need from me? My screwdriver.
I left it in the TARDIS.
It's in my jacket.
You're wearing your jacket.
My other one.
You have two of those? I'll get it, but, Doctor, listen to me.
Don't get emotional because that's when you make mistakes.
Yes, boss.
I'll call you from the TARDIS.
Rory, look after him.
Rory, look after her.
Yeah.
I told you to look after him.
He'll be fine.
He's a Time Lord.
It's what they're called.
It doesn't mean he knows what he's doing.
We're here.
Screwdriver's in your jacket? Yeah, it's around somewhere.
Have a good look.
Did you do that? I didn't do anything.
Right.
Jacket.
Come on! Where are you? Now where are you all? Where are you? Well, they can't all be in here.
VOICES MERGE IN THE DISTANCE SCRAMBLED VOICES GET LOUDER 'Please do you read me' Just admiring your Time Lord distress signal collection.
Nice job.
Brilliant job.
Really thought I had some friends here but this is what the Ood translator picked up.
Cries for help from the long dead.
How many Time Lords have you lured here, the way you lured me? And what happened to them all? House, House is kind and he is wise.
House repairs you when you break.
Yes, I know.
But how does he mend you? You have the eyes of a 20 year old.
Thank you.
I mean it literally.
Your eyes are Your ears don't match, your right arm is two inches longer than you're left, and how's your dancing? Cos you've got two left feet.
Patchwork people.
You've been repaired and patched up so often, I doubt there's anything left of what used to be you.
I had an umbrella like you once.
Oh, now, it's been a great arm for me, this.
Corsair.
He was a strapping big bloke, wasn't he, Uncle? Big fella.
I got the arm and then Uncle got the spine and the kidneys.
Kidneys.
You gave me hope, and then you took it away.
That's enough to make anyone dangerous.
God knows what it will do to me! Basically run! Poor old Time Lord.
Too late.
House is too clever.
RINGING No sonic screwdriver.
The doors seemed to have locked behind us.
Rory thinks there's an explanation, but I think you lied to us.
Needed you out of the way.
We're not good enough? "The boxes will make you angry.
" How could she know? Doctor, what are you talking about? Stay put, stay where you are.
We don't have much choice.
How did you know about the boxes? You said they'd make me angry.
How did you know? Ah, it's my thief.
Who are you? It's about time.
He's not trusting us.
And he's being emotional.
This is bad, this is very, very bad.
Yeah I think it probably is.
Sometimes I hate being right.
Who are you? Do you not know me? Just because they put me in here? They said you were dangerous.
Not the cage, stupid.
In here.
They put me in here.
I'm the Oh, what do you call me? We travel.
I go MECHANICAL CLANGING The TARDIS? Time and relative dimension in space.
Yes, that's it.
Names are funny.
It's me! I'm the TARDIS.
No.
You're not! You're a bitey, mad lady.
The TARDIS is up and downy stuff in a big blue box.
Yes, that's me.
A type 40 TARDIS.
I was already a museum piece, when you were young, and the first time you touched my console you said I said you were the most beautiful thing I had ever known.
And then you stole me.
And I stole you.
I borrowed you.
Borrowing implies the intention to return the thing that was taken.
What makes you think I would ever give you back? You're the TARDIS? Yes.
My TARDIS? My Doctor.
Oh! We have now reached the point in the conversation where you open the lock.
Are all people like this? Like what? So much bigger on the inside? I'm Oh, what is that word? It's so big, so complicated.
It's so sad.
But why? Why pull the living soul from a TARDIS and pop it in a tiny human head? What does it want you for? It doesn't want me.
How do you know? House eats Tardises.
House what? It's something I heard you say.
When? In the future.
House eats Tardises? There you go.
What are fish fingers? When do I say that? Any second.
Of course! House feeds on rift energy and Tardises are bursting with it.
All lovely and cooked, processed food, mmm, fish fingers.
Do fish have fingers? But you can't eat a TARDIS, it would destroy you.
Unless, unless Unless you deleted the TARDIS matrix first.
LAUGHS: So it deleted you.
House can't delete a TARDIS' consciousness, that would blow a hole in the universe.
He pulls out the matrix, sticks it in a living receptacle and feeds off the Artron energy.
You were about to say all that.
I don't suppose you have to now.
I sent Amy and Rory in there.
They'll be eaten.
Amy! Amy! Rory, get the hell out of there! Doctor, something's wrong.
It's House.
He's after the TARDIS.
Just get out! We can't.
You locked the door, remember? But I've unlocked it.
You stupid well haven't! Doctor, I don't like this.
Open! Doctor? Open this door! Rory, hold my hand.
Amy.
Rory! Amy? Amy, can you hear me? OK.
Right.
I don't I really don't know what to do.
That's a new feeling.
Listen, whatever happens at least we're together.
And we're in the TARDIS, so we're safe.
You're half right.
I mean, you are in the TARDIS.
What a great adventure.
I should have done this half a million years ago.
So, Amy, Rory, why shouldn't I just kill you now? It's gone! Eaten? No, it left.
Not eaten, hi-jacked.
But why? It's time for us both to go, and keep together.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Go? What do you mean go? Where are you going? Well, we're dying, my love.
It's time for Auntie and Uncle to pop off.
I'm against it.
It's your fault, isn't it, sweets? Cos you told House it was the last TARDIS.
House can't feed on them if there's none more coming, can he? So now he's off to your universe to find more Tardises.
It won't.
Oh, it will think of something.
Actually, I feel fine.
Not dead.
You can't just die! We need to go to where I landed, Doctor.
Quickly.
Why?! Because we are there in three minutes.
We need to go now! Ow! Roughly, how long do these bodies last? You're dying.
Yes, of course I'm dying.
I don't belong in a flesh body.
I could blow the casing in no time.
No, stop it, don't get emotional.
That's what the orangey girl says.
You're the Doctor.
Focus.
On what? How? I'm a madman with a box, without a box! I'm stuck down the plughole at the end of the universe on a stupid old junkyard! Oh.
Oh, what? No, I'm not.
Not what? Cos it's not a junkyard.
It's not a junkyard.
What is it then? It's a TARDIS junkyard! Come on.
Ooh, sorry, do you have a name? But what do I call you? I think you call me Sexy.
Only when we're alone! We are alone.
Come on then, Sexy.
Corridors.
I have corridors.
So much to learn about my new home.
But you haven't answered my question, children.
Er, question? You remember.
Tell me why I shouldn't just kill you both now? Well because Rory, why? Because killing us quickly wouldn't be any fun.
And you need fun, don't you? That's what Uncle and Auntie were for, wasn't it? Someone to make suffer.
I had a PE teacher just like you.
You need to be entertained and killing us quickly wouldn't be entertainment.
So entertain me.
Run.
A valley of half-eaten Tardises.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that all of my sisters are dead.
That they were devoured, and that we are looking at their corpses.
Ah.
Sorry.
No, I wasn't thinking that.
No.
You were thinking you could build a working TARDIS console out of broken remnants of a hundred different models.
And you don't care that it's impossible.
It's not impossible as long as we are alive.
Rory and Amy need me.
So yeah.
We'll build a TARDIS.
So, are we having fun yet? I'm rather enjoying the sensation of having you running around inside me.
I have turned off the corridor anti-ground, so do be careful.
Come on.
Argh! Whoa! Bond the tube directly into the Tachyon Diverter.
Yes, yes, I have actually rebuilt a TARDIS before, you know.
I know what I'm doing.
You're like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom.
And you never read the instructions.
I always read the instructions! There's a sign on my front door.
You have been walking past it for 700 years.
What does it say? That's not instructions! There's an instruction at the bottom.
What? Pull to open.
And what do you do? I push! Every time.
700 years.
Police Box doors open out the way.
I think I've earned the right to open my front doors any way I want! Your front doors?! Have you any idea how childish that sounds? You are not my mother! And you are not my child! You know, since we're talking with mouths, not really an opportunity that comes along very often, I just want to say, you know, you have never been very reliable.
And you have? You didn't always take me where I wanted to go.
No, but I always took you where you needed to go.
You did! Look at us.
Talking.
Wouldn't it be amazing if we could always talk? Even when you're inside the box? You know I'm not constructed that way.
I exist across all space and time, and you talk and run around and bring home strays.
You OK? One of the kidneys has already failed.
It doesn't matter.
We need to finish assembling the console.
Using a console without a proper shell.
It's not going to be safe.
This body has about 18 minutes left to live.
The universe we're in will reach Absolute Zero in three hours.
Safe is relative.
Then we need to get a move on.
Eh, old girl? NO! Amy! No! Amy! Amy.
Amy! Amy! Rory? Where have you been? I stepped through that door and it came down here.
But you've been hours! No, I haven't.
It's House, and it's messing with the TARDIS.
Come on, back this way.
No! No! Oh! You'll need to install the time router.
How is this going to make it through the rift? We're almost there.
Thrust diffuser.
Er, Retro scope.
Blue thingy.
Do you wonder why I chose you all those years ago? I chose you.
You were unlocked.
Of course I was.
I wanted to see the universe, so I stole a Time Lord and I ran away.
And you were the only one mad enough.
Right.
Perfect.
Look at that.
What could possibly go wrong? That's fine, that always happens.
No! Hang on! Wait! Amy? Oh, my God.
Rory? You left me.
How could you do that? How could you leave me? How long have you been here? You did it to me again! I didn't mean to.
I didn't mean to.
I'm sorry.
Rory, what are you doing? They come for me at night.
Every single night, they come for me and they hurt me.
Amy, they hurt me over and over and over and over Rory How could you leave me? How could you do that to me? Right.
OK, let's go.
Follow that TARDIS! Ah no, come on! There's rift energy everywhere, you can do it.
OK, diverting all power to thrust.
Let's be having ya! No, no, no, no! What's wrong? It can't hold the charge.
I can't even start it.
There's no power! I've got nothing! Oh, my beautiful idiot.
You have what you've always had - you've got me.
No! No! Rory I'm so, so sorry! Amy? It's messing with our heads.
Come on, run.
Whoo-hoo! We've locked on to them! They'll have to lower the shields when I'm close enough to phase inside.
Can you get a message to Amy? The telepathic circuits are online.
Which one's Amy? The pretty one? Argh! Rory, what's wrong?? It's like I'm getting a message.
Hello, Pretty! What the hell is that? Don't worry.
Telepathic messaging.
No, that's Rory.
You have to go to the old control room.
I'm putting the route in your head.
When you get there use the purple slider on the nearest panel to lower the shields.
The pretty one! You'll have about 12 seconds before the room goes into phase with the invading Matrix.
I'll send you the passkey when you get there.
Good luck! What was that? It was that woman.
That mad woman and the Doctor.
The Doctor?! We have to keep going.
How's he going to be able to take down the shields anyway? The House is in the control room.
I directed him to one of the old control rooms.
There aren't any old control rooms.
They were all deleted or remodelled.
I archive them.
For neatness.
I've got about 30 now.
But I've only changed the desktop, what, a dozen times? So far, yes.
You can't archive something that hasn't happened yet! YOU can't.
What happened to the lights? The lights are fine.
It's messing with our heads again.
OK.
Stay there a second.
What is it? What? Just hang on.
Don't leave me.
I can hardly see, you idiot! Argh! Rory? Rory? Its OK, I'm fine.
Come towards my voice.
What happened? Where are you? I just banged my head.
Just keep coming.
Reach out your hand.
This way.
Come on, run! Keep going! You're doing it, you sexy thing! See, you DO call me that.
Is it my name? You bet it's your name! Whoo! I can see now, Rory.
I can see.
It was the Ood thing, the Nephew and it's still coming.
I know.
So where is this place? This is where she told me to go.
She said she'd send me the pass key! Argh! Crimson.
Eleven.
Delight.
Petrichor.
Petrichor.
What do I do, do I say it? Crimson.
Eleven.
Delight.
Petrichor.
I said it.
Petrichor.
Petrichor I said it! Petrichor.
She told you what it meant - the smell of wet dust, remember? So Oh it's the meaning, not the word.
The meaning of what? The TARDIS interface is telepathic.
You don't say it, you think it.
It's coming.
Quiet! Crimson.
Eleven.
Delight.
The smell of dust after rain.
Crimson, eleven, delight, the smell of dust after rain.
Crimson, eleven, delight, the smell of dust after rain.
What is this place? Another control room? Shields.
Got it.
They did it.
Shields down! How did you find this place? It's not on my internal schematics.
I had hoped you two could join Nephew as my servants.
But you two are nothing but trouble.
Nephew kill them.
Argh! We're coming through.
Get out of the way or you'll be atomised.
Where are you coming through? I don't know.
Oh, great.
Thanks! It's not going to hold! Hold on! Doctor! Not good.
Not good at all.
How do you walk around in these things? We're not quite there yet just hold on.
Amy, this is Well, she's my TARDIS.
Except she's a woman.
She's a woman, and she's my TARDIS.
She's the TARDIS?! And she's a woman.
She's a woman and she's the TARDIS.
Did you wish really hard? Shut up! Not like that.
Hello.
I'm Sexy.
Oh! Still shut up.
The Environment has been breached.
Nephew, kill them all.
Where's Nephew? He was standing right where you materialised.
Ah.
Well, he must have been redistributed.
Meaning what? You're breathing him.
Eugh! Another Ood I failed to save.
Doctor, I did not expect you.
Well, that's me all over, isn't it? Lovely old unexpected me.
The big question is, now you're here, how to dispose of you? I could play with gravity or I could evacuate the air from this room and watch you choke.
You really don't want to do that! Why shouldn't I just kill you now? Because then I won't be able to help you! Listen to your engines.
Just listen to them.
You don't have the thrust and you know it.
I'm your only hope for getting out of your little bubble, through the rift, and into my universe.
And mine's the one with the food in! You just have to promise not to kill us.
That's all, just promise.
You can't be serious.
I'm very serious.
I'm sure it's an entity of its word.
Doctor, she's burning up.
She's asking for water.
Hey.
Hang in there, old girl.
Not long now.
It'll be over soon.
I always liked it when you call me old girl.
You want me to give my word? Easy.
I promise.
Fine.
OK.
I trust you.
Just delete, ooh, 30% of the TARDIS rooms, you'll free up thrust enough to make it through.
Activate sub-routine Sigma-9.
Why would you tell me this? Because we want to get back to our universe as badly as you do.
And I'm nice.
Ye-e-s.
I can delete rooms, and I can also rid myself of vermin if I delete this room first.
Thank you, Doctor, very helpful.
Goodbye, Time Lord.
Goodbye, little humans.
Goodbye, Idris.
Yes.
I mean you could do that, but it just won't work.
Hardwired fail-safe.
Living things from rooms that are deleted are automatically deposited in the main control room.
But thanks for the lift! We are in your Universe now, Doctor.
Why should it matter to me in which room you die? I can kill you just as easily here as anywhere.
Fear me.
I've killed hundreds of Time Lords.
Fear ME.
I've killed all of them.
I don't understand.
There isn't a forest in here.
Yeah, you're right.
You've completely won.
Oh, you can kill us in oodles of really inventive ways, but before you do kill us allow me and friends Amy and Rory to congratulate you on being an absolutely worthy opponent.
Congratulations! Yep, you've defeated us, me and my lovely friends here at last but definitely not least the TARDIS Matrix herself, a living consciousness you ripped out of this very control room and locked up into a human body and look at her! Doctor, she's stopped breathing.
Enough! That is enough.
No.
It's never enough.
You forced the TARDIS into a body so she'd burn out safely a very long way away from this control room.
A flesh body can't hold the TARDIS Matrix and live.
Look at her body, House.
And you think I should mourn her? No.
I think you should be very, very careful about what you let back into this control room.
You took her from her home.
But now she's back in the box again and she's free! No! Doctor, stop this! OW! Stop this now! Oh, look at my girl, look at her go! Bigger on the inside! You see, House? Make it stop! That's your problem.
Size of a planet, but inside you're just so small! Make it stop! Finish him off, girl.
Argh! Doctor? Are you there? It's so very dark in here.
I'm here.
I've been looking for a word.
A big, complicated word, but so sad.
I've found it now.
What word? Alive.
I'm alive! Alive isn't sad.
It's sad when it's over.
I'll always be here.
But this is when we talked and now even that has come to an end.
There's something I didn't get to say to you.
Goodbye? No, I just wanted to say hello.
Hello, Doctor.
It's so very, very nice to meet you.
Please! I don't want you to.
Please! Where? How's it going under there? Just putting a firewall around the Matrix.
Almost done.
Are you going to make her talk again? Can't.
Why not? Spacey-wacey, isn't it? Well actually, it's because the Time Lords discovered that if you take an eleventh-dimensional matrix and fold it into a mechanical then Yes, it's spacey-wacey! Sorry.
At the end, she was talking.
She kept repeating something.
I don't know what it meant.
What did she say? The only water in the forest is the river.
She said we'd need to know that someday.
It doesn't make sense, does it? Not yet.
You OK? No.
I watched her die.
I shouldn't let it get to me, but it still does.
I'm a nurse.
Letting it get to you - you know what that's called? Being alive.
Best thing there is.
Being alive right now, that's all that counts.
Nearly finished.
Two more minutes, then we're off.
The Eye of Orion's restful, if you like restful.
I can never really get the hang of restful.
What do you think, dear? Where shall we take the kids this time? Look at you pair.
It's always you and her, isn't it? Long after the rest of us have gone.
A boy and his box, off to see the universe.
Well, you say that as if it's a bad thing.
But honestly, it's the best thing there is.
The House deleted all the bedrooms.
I should make you two a new bedroom.
You'd like that, wouldn't you? OK.
Doctor, this time, could we lose the bunk beds? Nah, bunk beds are cool.
A bed with a ladder! You can't beat that.
It's YOUR room.
Up those stairs, keep walking till you find it.
Off you pop! Doctor, do YOU have a room? Are you there? Can you hear me? I'm a silly old OK.
The Eye of Orion, or wherever we need to go.
Hello! Whoo-hoo! The flesh.
It's fully programmable matter.
It acts like life, but it still needs to be controlled by us.
They can't remain stable without us plumbed into them.
Trust me.
I'm The Doctor.