Hustle s06e04 Episode Script
The Father of Jewels
How do you feel? Like I don't need to go over how to do a simple switch for the 15th time.
- Indulge us.
- The switch is one long continuous movement.
Briefcase A down.
Little bit of business.
Making a call, looking my watch.
Then briefcase B comes up.
- Without - Without at any time looking at either briefcase.
- Then exit.
I know this.
- Calmly.
And inconspicuously.
The artwork.
Now you want to blend into your surroundings.
No jewellery.
No loud colours.
Why do you think I'm dressed like an undertaker? You want to look like the undertaker the other undertakers didn't notice.
- Boring tie.
- Should be.
Got it from your tie rack.
Don't mind me borrowing it, do you? Keep it.
Early birthday present.
- Mickey and Emma should be ready for you now.
- Right.
- I'll be off then, shall I? - Yeah, go on.
- He seems confident.
- Yeah.
- Nice score too.
- Yeah, not bad.
I think I'll give Eddie a call and get him to put something on ice.
I have a call I have to make too.
Yes, I have an urgent message for Mr Peter Waters.
Mr Waters is just here.
Mr Waters? Excuse me a second.
Thank you.
- Hello.
- Mr Waters.
I'm sorry to trouble you.
There was no mention of a follow up call when I made the booking.
She was very satisfactory, yes.
I'm at all sure I'm comfortable having this discussion.
Room 79 faces the park, Mr Kennedy.
- Thank you.
- I don't care how much these calls help you to improve your service Pick it up Sean, pick it up.
He hasn't done the switch.
- Sean.
Do you want me to go in and distract him? - No, no, no.
Too risky.
Goodbye again.
- Great doing business.
- Absolutely.
Stop him.
Stop Sean from getting into the lift.
Dave.
Dave.
- Wrong bloke, pal.
- You here for the convention? I thought you'd be barred after last year.
- You've got me confused with someone else.
- Let's get drunk.
Lay another finger on me and I'll call security.
Loudly.
We're leaving.
What's your finest champagne? Yeah, well go down the offy and get something finer.
Make it a crate.
- What happened? - No idea.
- The guy in the beige jacket.
- Who is he? Someone Sean knows? - Not particularly.
He's our dad.
Hey, Congratulations! - He's not here either.
Where the hell is he? - Everything go OK? Four whiskeys.
Four whiskeys coming up.
- No Sean today? - Bumped into his father.
Oh, well there you go.
That's sounds like an occasion for the No? Left a mark with 50 grand of our money.
Yeah, and maybe doing God knows what.
- He's probably in a police cell by now.
- So they don't see eye to eye, then? When Sean was three he went on a business trip and told him he'd bring him back a Tracey Island.
- That was the last time we saw him.
- Them Tracey Islands, they did suddenly become very hard to get hold of.
Yeah, I doubt he's still looking.
Sean said if he ever saw him again, he'd kill him.
Right, so no champagne at all then? - If he did anything stupid, we'd know about it by now.
- He did.
He left our mark with 50 grand.
Sean, look.
No one's bothered about what happened.
I just want you to call me.
Please.
Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering your phone? Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Sean.
Double anything please, Ed.
God, what's the one thing I said I'd do if I ever saw him again? - What's the one thing that I said I'd do? - Beat him to a pulp.
Did I mention anything about sharing a lift with him? Did I mention that? Cos that's what I did.
I should go back there right now and smash What are you going to do? Beat him up? Yeah, something like that.
You wanna watch? Sean, it's over.
It ended a long time ago.
Guys, I am sorry.
- I know I screwed up.
- Don't say that.
Could have happened to anyone.
- I mean this.
I'm sorry, OK? - All is forgotten.
I don't know about the rest of you, I'd have a drunken apology over 50 grand in cash any day.
- I'm gonna get you that money back.
- Hear that? We're going to get our money back.
- This will never happen again.
- It's all win-win now.
Why couldn't I just hit him? Because, Sean, it wouldn't have made any difference.
Let's just leave it.
Forget today happened.
Mickey's right.
Violence isn't going to change a thing.
- There's another way to get him.
- Sean.
It's been staring us in the face.
Sean, we're not going to con him.
Yes! We're going to con him.
He will have forgotten the whole thing by the morning.
- What if he hasn't? - Then he'll have to learn.
These things happen.
Dads leave.
You go into care, people go into foster homes.
They go onto the streets.
It's not like he's the first person that stuff's happened to.
The only thing different about him is he ended up here instead of dead.
Maybe he should concentrate on that for a change.
Is that what you do? Well, I was older.
It didn't affect me as much.
By two years, which makes you five.
I was mature for my age.
You carry on like that and you'll drop marmalade all over your plot for ultimate revenge.
You're not still on this? I thought you'd change your mind once you'd slept on it.
I've thought of a way to get him.
- Sean whatever you're planning, believe me, it won't make you feel any better.
- No? Well it's going to make him feel a lot worse.
That'll have to do.
- You're going to rip off your old man? - Yep.
- For £79,924.
- Not the notebook.
That's what he owes us.
Unpaid child support.
Em, are you with on this or what? I told you.
It's over.
All right, fine.
I'll do it on my own.
Look at the earlier pages.
- Child's handwriting.
- I'd say about eight years of age.
Look, you know me and my suppression of feelings, Michael.
I'm a big fan of that.
But this is his father.
And it's not going away.
I think I have what we need to start.
If I might have your attention.
Not now, Albert.
I'm a bit busy planning the grift.
Presenting our newest mark.
Mr Rex Kennedy.
Seen here returning to Britain for the first time since emigrating to Melbourne, Australia in 1987.
He left behind his wife and two children.
A year after his departure his wife passed away, leaving the children.
- What, is this some kind of joke to you? - Anything but.
Albert, what are you doing? Presenting our mark.
And possibly, possibly clearing the air as well.
If you've made up your mind to con him, Sean, we would as soon it was done professionally.
That means we do it as a team.
It also means that for the duration of the con, the mark's a mark, like any other.
That way maybe you won't have to reflect on all this from inside a jail cell.
We're going to con their dad? If everyone's in agreement.
Well, who knows? Maybe it'll get things out of his system.
So if we're all agreed Mr Kennedy's now a respected businessman in his adopted home of Melbourne, from where he directs a successful property developing company and also has an extensive portfolio throughout Australia and on several sites in Europe.
And one in London.
That's all I have so far.
That's OK, Albert, we'll get to know our mark better while we're in the grift.
Hang on.
This is still my grift.
If you guys want to help, that's great.
But I'm calling the shots on this one.
- Wouldn't have it any other way.
- I might need a drink.
OK, how many of you have heard of the global Sorry hang on a minute.
Probably best if I don't hear this.
Don't want to be hauled up as an accessory if it all goes pear-shaped, know what I mean? - That's no reflection on you, Sean.
- No.
- I'm sure it will all go very smoothly.
Thank you for your vote of confidence, Eddie.
Yeah, and maybe later we could celebrate your first grift with a refreshing bottle of expensive champagne.
OK, like I was saying, how many of you have heard of the global recession? Most of you.
OK, good.
Then you can tell me, what gets hit hardest in a recession? Long winded narrators? Property markets.
You see, the smart money is selling.
That's why the mark's in town.
He's trying to offload a brownfield site near Croydon.
No, no, no, no.
Not the treasure map.
- Why not the treasure map? - Because it's expensive, it's open air, that means a lot of variables.
We're doing the treasure map.
All that stuff's been factored in, OK? We're going to make him think there's millions of pounds in gold and jewellery buried on that site.
- Who buried it? - No-one buried it.
The plane it was in got shot down.
Now, Rex has just fired his London estate agent.
How do we get money out of Rex when he owns the land that the treasure's on? Because when I get cold feet he's going to pay me off.
Now can I please get back to explaining the plan? Rex has just fired his London estate agent.
Rex has just fired his London estate agent because he thinks he can do a better job himself.
Maybe you can deal with him directly.
- Exactly.
Ash, I want you could pose as the potential buyer.
- The buyer.
You should leave him back for later.
- This is my grift.
- Sean, Mickey's just trying to help.
Maybe it's best if you stay in the background for now.
You're going to be pretty busy with the mural anyway.
- On the what? - Mickey, you are going to be the surveyor.
I see you as the gruff, 'take no prisoners' kind.
A 'take no prisoners' surveyor.
Yeah, I know just the type.
Yeah, maybe you could base it on your 'say it how it is' marine biologist.
Albert, I'm not going to need you until next week when we're in the old people's home.
Intriguing.
Emma, I wasn't sure if you wanted to go foreground on this or - Nope.
- Probably don't.
OK.
Listen up, gang.
The year is 1940.
That wasn't torturous or convoluted, was it? Well, I think Sean's performing admirably.
Albert, the plan is far too complicated.
- There's a much easier way.
- It's on an epic scale.
But that shows ambition.
Or delusional psychosis.
About this mural.
I'm thinking some kind of old advert, and big.
The old military artefacts.
You'll probably to have to divide your time quite a bit.
I've always enjoyed the classic grift.
Haven't you, my dear? I hadn't really thought about it.
Of course, for a treasure map, there are two things that are required from the beginning.
- A map.
- We'll probably have to mock one of them up an' all.
- And the treasure.
This bracelet was worn by a young debutante to Queen Charlotte's ball in 1938.
The last of the true seasons, I always feel.
After the war, somehow things never seemed so grand.
- Just beautiful.
- Just what we're looking for.
I hate to part with it.
It's something of a family heirloom, you see.
Still, I suppose it was some other family's heirloom before my Auntie Edie palmed it from some posh bint in a tiara.
Let's say 5,000.
Let's say two, remembering you are going to collect on the insurance.
Let's say four and a half, remembering that's not your concern.
- Shall we say three? - Four and a half, before I start on about Christmas 1939.
We had gasmasks and tangerines in our stockings that year.
Give her the money.
Give her the money.
Police? I've been mugged.
Teague Holdings are delighted you've accepted their offer.
No, you won't have heard of them, Mr Kennedy.
They're new, very go-ahead.
My client is anxious to move to contract as soon as possible.
They'd like to send a surveyor along in the morning.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
What did he sound like? - Like a bloke.
- Yeah, what type of bloke? Like a dodgy bloke, or a bit of a tit bloke? Didn't reach firm conclusions on a three minute phone conversation.
You'll find out what he's like soon enough.
Mr Kennedy.
- Damien Carr.
I'm Mr Teague's surveyor.
- Hi.
Morning.
Morning.
Yeah, I think we're looking at a 25-acre site.
I assumed someone from Teague Holdings would be coming along.
Far too busy, mate.
Far too busy.
Sorry, could you move to your right please? Is he with you? Can we help you? You realise you're trespassing, mate? - Was I? - I'll deal with this.
- What's in the bag? - What bag? That bag? Sandwiches.
Sandwiches.
You hold this.
And a flask.
Sandwiches and a flask.
Whatever you find on this land is the legal property of the owner.
- I said I'll deal with this.
- You should call the police.
- It's hardly worth it.
- Hardly.
When Teague Holdings takes ownership, trespassers like this one here will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Wait.
- You're selling? - Yep.
Three weeks from now work will begin on a much-needed insurance company HQ.
Right.
I don't suppose you'd mind if I carried on with the detecting until you sell it? I only just came across this site now, didn't I? How was I supposed to know I was trespassing? There's a sign.
Oh, bloody kids.
Always knocking down my sign.
I'll bang on then, shall I? Off Mr Kennedy's land.
Now.
He's leaving.
No.
Hang on.
Hang on.
He's going back.
This is going to work.
- OK, Sean, what have we learned about our mark? - He's a tosser.
What else? - Total tosser.
- We were going to read him as we went along.
Yeah, I was.
I didn't get past the tosser part.
Come on.
Yes! He's found the bracelet.
He's got the treasure.
You see, I told you, I told you he would.
This is going to go exactly like I said it would.
Next we'll plant the inventory.
He'll see the bracelet on there and pay me off so he can have all the treasure to himself.
OK, look, he didn't like me taking the lead with you earlier.
Wouldn't take the metal detector, wouldn't call the police.
I think we are dealing with a man who doesn't like being told what to do.
What, you tell him to do something and he does the exact opposite? Yeah, exactly.
Remind you of anyone? Are you OK with all of this? I don't understand the question.
Well, your dad as a mark.
I thought it might be dredging up some stuff.
No, I told you there's nothing to dredge.
It's all dealt with.
Before, you spoke of Rex leaving Sean, and I couldn't help thinking If you're looking for trauma then you've got the wrong girl.
Rex is a mark like any other mark.
Emma, he's not though, is he? Eddie, I think you should start a door policy and stop all the boors from coming in.
No, I can't bar him.
He's got a bit of money invested in the business.
So you want six foot by ten foot? Yeah, thinking about it, bigger the better.
- On brick.
Pre-1938.
- For Thursday? Don't worry.
I've got every faith in you.
What about your military artefacts? When am I supposed to get hold of them? - What, you haven't got them? - Well, you only told me yesterday.
- I only came up with the plan yesterday.
- You must have the navigator's bag, at least.
- Sean, on a general note, the more elaborate the grift, the longer we know the requirements you have, the better.
Thank you, Albert.
Point taken.
You have got the navigator's bag? American navigator's pouch, circa 1940.
- Thank you.
- Pick up only.
And I had to pay the 'buy it now' price.
I mean, you know it all adds up, Sean.
That and the 50 grand.
Circa 1940.
What's his problem? Sorry.
I'm finding it hard to keep a straight face.
Circa 1940, with a single strap buckle.
Everyone knows double strap buckles were standard issue until well into the Korean conflict.
- What did he just say? - Finally, the con man gets conned.
- Eddie, how do you know all this? - I collect military artefacts.
You know I do.
I've told you often enough.
Do you lot not listen when I tell you things about my life outside this bar? Well, of course we listen.
It's just what you've said then has to make room for things that are in some way interesting or worthwhile.
That's amazing.
- It's an Aladdin's cave of depressing 1940s stuff.
- Still got that inventory? Get this down to the site and bury it under the sign, will you? I've got a visit to make.
I don't know.
A week, maybe longer.
I miss you too.
Darling, I'll call back.
OK.
Bye.
- What did you find? - Excuse me? - You saw me digging on your site.
- I went back just now.
Someone got there before me.
- You think it was me.
You should've put a tin can in its place, made me think that's what made the detector go off.
Why would I do that? It's my land, remember? Anything found on it belongs to me.
I knew it.
You're right.
Your property, what you find belongs to you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just do me a favour.
Can I have a little look at it? Just a little look? I'll give you 500 quid for it.
- It wouldn't make much sense selling it before I had it valued.
- Don't! - Do not have it valued.
- Why not? Just just take my word for it, yeah? No, you're not going to do that, are you? Why should I? What I'm about to tell you, not a lot of people know.
And those who do know, you don't want to know.
Apart from Uncle Lonnie.
Who's Uncle Lonnie? OK.
The year is 1940.
The blitz is raging.
The Germans could land any minute.
People are scared.
Even rich people.
But the rich being rich, they've got an overriding priority.
Staying rich.
They start eyeing up the necklaces and tiaras, what have you.
And they're faced with a horrible decision do they melt them down and donate them to the war effort? Or wait for Hitler to nab them? That's when Uncle Lonnie shows up.
See, Uncle Lonnie's an American, fresh from a spot of gun-running down in Spain.
Eyes for the main chance, and handy with a plane an' all.
Uncle Lonnie calls a meeting.
Some prominent people show up, businessmen, aristocrats, what have you.
Then he tells them his plan.
Hire him and his mates to fly their valuables to the safety deposit boxes over in New York.
Now, Uncle Lonnie's an ace navigator and reckons he can fly above the air raid guns.
What he didn't reckon on is radar.
Unauthorised flight over south east England.
It can only be Luftwaffe, right? Boom.
Plane's shot down.
But when the authorities see the wreckage and the bodies, they know there's a problem.
Somebody gives Churchill a call.
And Churchill is furious.
What do you mean, we shot down a plane with three yanks aboard? How's that going to help matters now we're trying to get the Americans into the war? - Bury it.
- Bury it.
Bury the lot.
Bury the bodies.
Bury the cargo.
- Anything traceable, bury it.
- Anything traceable, bury it.
Say a stray bomb hit Croydon.
Report the plane lost at sea.
Report the plane lost at sea.
Bloody fools.
Lots of sad posh people.
But no-one can say anything.
Who's going to admit to being involved in something like that with the rest of the country are melting down their fish knives, right? So, no-one talks about it.
Years go by.
It's forgotten.
Except by Uncle Lonnie.
He got out just before the plane went down.
He suffered a mild concussion, which he wasn't too chuffed about cos it made him forget where the plane hit.
But he's been searching for the spot ever since.
That is, until he handed the baton to me.
My number's on the back.
Call me if you want to talk more.
Just one question.
Have you had any psychiatric treatment? You think I'm crazy? That suits me down to the ground.
If I'm crazy, you won't mind me practising my eccentric hobby on your land, will you? Oh, by the way, those kids have knocked your sign down again.
Crazy.
- This for the con? - Yeah.
- World War Two con, is it? - That's the theme, yeah.
I don't know quite how to tell you this.
Erm to Britain until 1953.
I mean, what kind of idiot No, you're not an idiot, Ash.
You're just historically hopelessly naive.
Yeah, well it's lucky you came along when you did and found us the right image.
- You sure you're all right up that ladder? - Yeah.
It's just painting by numbers, isn't it? And, erm, no offence, mate, but probably best in the hands of an expert, you know.
Yeah, yeah, course you're right.
Yeah, well I'll see you later then.
Yep, see you later.
You could see it on his face.
He's already put the bracelet together with the inventory.
He is holding out on me and he's going to keep holding out on me.
Everything is going to schedule.
Soon as he works out the bracelet's real, he's going to ring me and ask for the full story.
Then he'll work out he needs to see Uncle Lonnie.
He's probably in the jewellery shop right now.
Inter-war piece.
Emeralds and diamonds.
This is an extremely valuable item.
What did you say the provenance was? - Belonged to my grandmother.
- Would you excuse me just for one moment? [ PHONE RINGS .]
Meet me at the site.
So this is the flight path? Passes right over.
And you reckon Uncle Lonnie's plane hit where you found the bracelet? We should be so lucky.
The plane could've been leaking cargo for miles before it hit the ground.
The wreckage could be anywhere on this site.
Digging all this lot up, I say we're looking at about six weeks.
Think you can put your buyer off for that long? We need to move faster.
Where's your Uncle Lonnie? He's in an old people's home.
Why? If he can remember anything about the night of the crash, it might give us a clue about where the plane hit the ground.
We wouldn't have to dig up the whole site.
Yeah, we need to speak to him.
That's a good idea.
I'll call and make an appointment.
- Now.
Today.
- Well, it can't be done.
Me and Uncle Lonnie, we had a falling out.
- Well, patch it up.
- Why? What's the hurry? - I tried to have the bracelet valued.
What? Why did you go and do that? I'm worried I might have set alarm bells ringing.
[ MOBILE RINGS .]
- Sean.
- Yeah, hi, I'd like to speak to Leonard Brice please.
- He's a resident of the home.
- What, now? Yeah, it's Ben.
His grand-nephew.
What do you mean, he's still not speaking to me? Just tell him I'm on my way down right now.
Yeah, yeah, I've got to fix things.
Nearest hospital please.
- OK, Sean, where's the retirement home? - I don't know how things got so messed up.
[ PHONE RINGS .]
Yeah.
[ PAGER BEEPS .]
Excuse me.
Well, sorry gents.
Right.
Retirement homes.
- Where are we going? - Retirement home.
Ash will call you with directions.
I think this is your size.
[ MOBILE BEEPS .]
- It's the next left.
- OK.
Nobody is trying to put you in a home.
I know what this place is.
You want to think I'm losing my marbles so you can get your hands on my money.
Daddy, that's very unfair.
Excuse me.
Can I see someone from admissions, please? And can you bring restraints? Thank you.
It's this way.
OK.
Ready for your sponge bath, Sir? I assure you, I am perfectly capable Oh, so very kind.
It's just down here.
- Nurse.
- Let's get you out of those things, get you nice and clean.
Could you say that again, only slower? Eddie, what can I say? - That is very impressive.
- It's taken me ages.
- I haven't stopped.
- I thought you were looking a bit peaky.
Has he aged it down? You've aged it down, haven't you? Well, you can't have it looking brand new, can you? All kinds of anachronisms.
No, no, who needs the aggravation? I mean, by rights, I shouldn't have used lead-free paint.
What's he done to me mural? Didn't anyone tell you? War damage.
Come on, let's get these bricks down to the site.
Uncle Lonnie.
Uncle Lonnie.
It's me, it's Ben.
- You all right? - You.
You're not welcome here.
You stole my map.
Where is it? Stole? I didn't steal it.
You handed on the baton, remember? Billy? Billy? You brought Billy? Yeah, yeah, that's right.
It's Billy.
Play along.
- Who's Billy? - His son.
He's dead.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Listen, Uncle Lonnie.
We found something.
It might be from the plane.
- It's a bracelet.
- You didn't get it valued, did you? - No, course not.
- Because if they trace it then all the cargo on board can be declared as a treasure trove.
Then you know where it goes? It goes straight to the Crown.
There are dangerous people monitoring every stolen goods list in the country looking out for anything that was on that plane.
Calm down.
We're getting closer, but we're running out of time.
Anything new you can remember about the night of the crash would really help us.
I mean, anything at all.
- Ah, let's see.
We were - What? I'm not going to tell you anything, you know.
Stay away from me, all right? Mr Brice needs to rest.
You really need to leave.
Now.
- Go.
- All right.
- Yes.
- OK.
- Now come here, Billy.
Get closer, get closer.
I see a man, smiling, in a white coat.
Now if you can find that man smiling in the white coat, then you've found the treasure.
- I've got to go, Dad.
- Oh, don't go.
"Dad.
" "Dad" Did you get any of that? - No.
- A smiling face.
A man in a white coat.
- What? You're telling me? - Of course.
We're partners, aren't we? OK, Sean, OK.
Why do you think he told you about the man in the white coat? - I've been thinking about this.
He must've figured out I was listening in.
- No, no, no.
He'll known you couldn't hear him.
Maybe he doesn't want to take any chances.
Maybe he's lulling me into a false sense of security.
He's not stupid, he's feeding me the partners' line so he can stab me in the back later on.
Let's not forget, he's still holding out on me over the inventory.
Like we knew he would.
Think about it, guys.
It's obvious.
- Sean - As long as I get him to the site tomorrow, tell him I've got the creeps and that I want to bail out, it'll be fine.
He sees the coloured bricks, he works out what they mean.
He knows he can get the treasure out in a day.
Once he works that out, he'll jump at the chance to pay me off.
Why did you get the bracelet valued, Rex? - It was the one thing I told you not to do.
- Why? What's happened? It's left a trail.
I told you other people knew about it.
Now someone's on to me.
- I'm being watched.
- You're being paranoid.
- I'm not.
I want out.
- But we're so close.
- We don't even know what was on that plane.
Uncle Lonnie could've been exaggerating.
I've got cold feet, and I want out.
And I need some cash to get away.
You know, the bracelet.
What's that worth, 80 grand? - Give me 80 grand.
- No.
As a finder's fee.
Whatever you find here, you can keep.
- No.
- What is the matter with you? Just give me the money.
I've got something to show you.
What's this? I reckon that navigator had that on him when he bailed out.
That's the inventory.
The bracelet's on there.
You see that total? That's in 1939 money too.
Uncle Lonnie wasn't exaggerating.
- Why are you showing me this? - To make you understand that you're insane to settle for 80,000.
We're on the verge of millions.
The man in the white coat.
We'll solve the clue together, yeah? Yeah.
What do you reckon about all these coloured bricks? He told you about the inventory.
Why did he tell me? That wasn't supposed to happen.
He was supposed to hold out on me.
Has he twigged the coloured bricks yet? - He doesn't know what they are.
- I thought you were going to help him on that.
Mickey was right.
None of this is making me feel any better.
I've tried thinking about the 80 grand.
It's not working.
You tried thinking about 80 grand cradled by a naked woman? Seriously Ash, it's like I've waited my whole life to get this guy and now I've got him You're not sure he's that guy? I had it in my head that he was this monster.
- What if he's not? - Way I understood it, this wasn't about what he's like, it was about what he did.
What if he's a nice guy? Listen, this could go a few ways.
Least likely is you and Rex going down the football together.
Finish the con, Sean.
Stop sulking, Eddie.
You'll get your bricks back.
The smiling face.
Where have you been? Look, the coloured bricks.
It's the man in the white coat.
We found him.
It's here.
We found the treasure! He's not going to give us the 80 grand.
He wants to dig up the whole site and split everything he finds with me.
- It was a stupid con to start with.
- It was a perfectly sound grift.
Albert, it didn't work.
He was supposed to see the man in the white coat when I was getting cold feet.
That's when he should have paid me off.
- Well, maybe we could salvage something.
- No.
No.
- It's over.
- You think? - What do you want to hear, Emma? I feel stupid, I messed up.
Is that what you want to hear? - You know, this is so typical of you.
Sean's feelings.
- What? Everybody here has had to jump through hoops for you.
Because of what you feel.
And now you think you might feel something else, you want to walk away.
Well, what about what other people feel? What about me? I had to look after you for ten years.
Why don't - we talk about how that felt? - We looked after each other.
No.
Rubbish.
I told you that to make you feel better about yourself.
You were hopeless.
I had to look out for you all the time.
I was a kid.
What? What was I? Was I your mum? Only someone as vain and self-centred as you could think this was your con to try and call off.
We are going ahead, and we are going to take this bastard.
- So what's the back-up plan? - Eh? - Every con has a back-up.
What is it? - I don't know.
I'm not talking to you, am I? What is the back-up plan? Your name is Camilla Teague.
This is your suit.
This is Rex Kennedy.
Please leave a message.
Mr Kennedy, I'm calling on behalf of Teague holdings regarding the sale of your site.
When we get the treasure out we're going to need some kind of awning.
That way no one can see us digging.
Yeah, awning.
You're not still worried about being watched? That doesn't matter now anyway.
We'll have the treasure out in a day.
We're home and dry.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR .]
Mr Kennedy? Mr Kennedy? It's Camilla Teague of Teague Holdings.
Don't open it.
- Come in.
- Good morning.
I understand there's some sort of hold up with the sale of your site.
I presume you've had interest from elsewhere, which is why I thought I'd drop by in person with an offer I think you will find compelling.
Now that's 30% on the original offer.
Yes, I thought that might claim your attention.
For that figure, I will need immediate signature.
Teague.
I know that name.
Well, yes, you may well.
It's an old family with something of a tradition in public services.
How many other properties does Teague Holding own? Well, at the moment, our portfolio's limited.
None? She knows.
You know what's on that land, don't you? Is this some kind of a last minute manoeuvre? You know about the treasure.
Your grandfather told you all about it.
There.
Oswald Teague.
And this is your grandmother's bracelet.
I'm sorry, the property's been taken off the market.
- Well - You can keep the bracelet.
I will.
You do realise you're going to have to buy my silence as well? - You won't say anything.
- Why not? Family honour? You have been away a long time.
If the authorities search that site, everything on it will be declared treasure trove.
The only thing you will ever see is a thank you note from the Queen.
I'll settle for 500,000.
- Whoa.
That's too much.
- Is it? Don't give her that much, Rex.
I can cover it.
For 500, I'll rescind all claim.
You get the lot.
Trust me, she'll she'll settle for less.
No, I won't.
We know what's down there.
It's worth it.
You have a deal.
£500,000 of your father's money.
- This is not what we agreed.
We said 80.
- That was a long time ago, Sean.
You hijacked my plan.
You knew it'd go this way.
You always have a plan B, Sean.
We only used it when you walked away from your own grift.
Stop sulking, Eddie.
You'll get your bricks back.
Yeah, you were right.
Plan B.
He'll be here roughly ten o'clock.
Ten o'clock.
You never wanted this to work.
Neither did you.
Ever since you met him and realised he was just a man.
Why didn't you hit him in the lift? Why didn't you do the read? OK, Sean what have we learned about our mark? - He's a tosser.
- Why didn't you show him what the bricks meant? What do you reckon about all these coloured bricks? - I'm not sure.
- You had him and you walked away.
- You didn't want to con him, Sean.
- I didn't know what I wanted.
Well sometimes you need someone else to show you.
The back up comes in two parts.
This part only gets you the cash.
It doesn't fix things between you and Sean, or between you and what happened with your dad.
You know that, don't you? Ask Rex for 500.
What do you want? They've ripped me off.
I've had diggers in all morning.
Young one's medium height, mid-twenties.
I want no police involvement, understand? No Hello, Rex.
I'd give up on the detective agency if I were you.
This is something they can't help you with.
Now move it.
You're the surveyor.
And you're the blameless family man.
It's OK, we just want to talk.
- Who are you? - We're friends of theirs.
Emma and Sean.
You both You had me right the way through.
You're clever.
I could tell you were going to be clever.
You don't get to do that.
You don't get to act like the proud father.
Well, it's just I've pictured this moment so many times.
I bet you never thought it would look quite like this.
No.
How did you see it going? Us popping down the pub catching up? And on the way out, asking if it was OK to call you Dad? Picking out bunk beds in the Ikea catalogue? I think about you every day.
- How's that make you feel, Sean? - Terrible, Emma.
He must've been wracked with guilt.
- Let me explain everything to you, please.
- Why don't you start by explaining why you walked out on us? I mean, we'd love to hear that one.
You have to understand, everything back then was a mess.
I was in a mess.
There were debts, I was drinking too much.
- I wasn't any good for anyone.
- Poor Rex, under all that pressure.
I'm welling up.
I figured you'd be better off without me.
And then you figured we'd be better off without anyone? No, I didn't know about your mother.
I didn't know she'd died.
I didn't hear about her death until five years after.
- Then you should have come and found us.
- By then it was too late.
I was remarried to Elaine.
She didn't know about the family.
So you decided to keep things hunky dory on your end, yeah? I thought you were settled.
I thought you were in school, that you were doing OK for yourself.
Well, we weren't.
And I was afraid, all right? I was afraid of what could happen.
To you.
Cos that's what this is really about.
After all your little excuses it was us or you, and you chose you.
We were your kids.
You were supposed to check up on us.
- It wasn't that simple.
- Yes, it was exactly that simple.
You had an obligation and you ignored it.
You should've come and found us.
I know I should've.
I'm sorry.
I am so sorry.
If I could change what I did back then if I could make it up to you You can't.
It's too late.
So how about we have a crack at some compensation, eh? - What do you want? - Well, I did want 80 grand in back dated child support.
But then he made him realise he wanted something more.
My 500,000.
If you keep that, I'll be ruined.
Yeah, we figured that one out.
It's not our problem though.
Besides, it's not about the money.
No.
To be honest I just got that one myself.
We don't need your money.
We're fine.
We made something of ourselves.
- This is about you.
- You can keep your money after you've done one little thing for us.
Are you sure you want to do this? Oh, yeah.
All you have to do is email this picture to your wife and you can have the money back.
If you don't, we keep the full 500.
Your money or your life.
I do wonder how she's going to take it when she finds out you've been lying all these years.
It's a weird sensation, isn't it? Your whole life falling to pieces in your hands.
Now imagine you're five.
Just push the button.
Tell her the secret you've been hiding.
I can't do it.
I chose between myself and my family before.
I'm not going to do it again.
- Good decision.
- I am sorry.
You should be.
What do you want? I want to know why he left us.
You have to understand everything back then was a mess.
I was in a mess.
There were debts, I was drinking too much.
I wasn't any good for anyone.
I want him to feel how we felt.
It's a weird sensation, isn't it? Your whole life falling to pieces in your hands.
Now imagine you're five.
I want him to know he screwed up.
I can't do it.
I chose between myself and my family before.
I'm not going to do it again.
Most importantly, I want to hear him say sorry.
I am so sorry.
And if I could change what I did back then If I could make it up to you You can't.
It's too late.
[ CHEERING .]
We thought about putting but remembered you'd already blown that much.
Funny.
- At last, champagne.
- This is good champagne.
Yeah, and just so you know it's - Eddie, you shouldn't have.
- What a thoughtful gift.
- Thank you.
- What did you wish for? - I'm not saying.
- Just so long as it wasn't any more birthday presents.
- Conning your old man was your present.
You know that, don't you? - I know that.
- It's from all of us.
It's the best present I ever got as well.
I'll never forget it.
- I couldn't have done it without you guys.
- Nonsense.
No, that's crazy talk.
Seriously, all this has brought one thing home to me.
I could have spent my entire life thinking about the family I missed out on, when the whole time my real family, - the people I care about - We got you an X Box as well.
Please give it to him before he finishes that speech.
I know what he wished for when he blew those candles out.
He wished all five of us could be together forever.
Actually, I wished you'd stop banging on about that £50,000 I never picked up.
Well, you don't have to worry about that.
Who wants a five way split of 50 grand When you can have a five way split of 80? I'm thinking of using my share as compensation for a troubled upbringing.
Yeah.
Didn't I ever tell you about my mum and dad? - Actually no.
- No time for the tooth fairy.
Every time a tooth fell out, I'd put it under the pillow.
Still there in the morning.
So I reckon backdating tooth fairy payments plus interest - Albert, where's that notebook? - Oh, come on.
- Indulge us.
- The switch is one long continuous movement.
Briefcase A down.
Little bit of business.
Making a call, looking my watch.
Then briefcase B comes up.
- Without - Without at any time looking at either briefcase.
- Then exit.
I know this.
- Calmly.
And inconspicuously.
The artwork.
Now you want to blend into your surroundings.
No jewellery.
No loud colours.
Why do you think I'm dressed like an undertaker? You want to look like the undertaker the other undertakers didn't notice.
- Boring tie.
- Should be.
Got it from your tie rack.
Don't mind me borrowing it, do you? Keep it.
Early birthday present.
- Mickey and Emma should be ready for you now.
- Right.
- I'll be off then, shall I? - Yeah, go on.
- He seems confident.
- Yeah.
- Nice score too.
- Yeah, not bad.
I think I'll give Eddie a call and get him to put something on ice.
I have a call I have to make too.
Yes, I have an urgent message for Mr Peter Waters.
Mr Waters is just here.
Mr Waters? Excuse me a second.
Thank you.
- Hello.
- Mr Waters.
I'm sorry to trouble you.
There was no mention of a follow up call when I made the booking.
She was very satisfactory, yes.
I'm at all sure I'm comfortable having this discussion.
Room 79 faces the park, Mr Kennedy.
- Thank you.
- I don't care how much these calls help you to improve your service Pick it up Sean, pick it up.
He hasn't done the switch.
- Sean.
Do you want me to go in and distract him? - No, no, no.
Too risky.
Goodbye again.
- Great doing business.
- Absolutely.
Stop him.
Stop Sean from getting into the lift.
Dave.
Dave.
- Wrong bloke, pal.
- You here for the convention? I thought you'd be barred after last year.
- You've got me confused with someone else.
- Let's get drunk.
Lay another finger on me and I'll call security.
Loudly.
We're leaving.
What's your finest champagne? Yeah, well go down the offy and get something finer.
Make it a crate.
- What happened? - No idea.
- The guy in the beige jacket.
- Who is he? Someone Sean knows? - Not particularly.
He's our dad.
Hey, Congratulations! - He's not here either.
Where the hell is he? - Everything go OK? Four whiskeys.
Four whiskeys coming up.
- No Sean today? - Bumped into his father.
Oh, well there you go.
That's sounds like an occasion for the No? Left a mark with 50 grand of our money.
Yeah, and maybe doing God knows what.
- He's probably in a police cell by now.
- So they don't see eye to eye, then? When Sean was three he went on a business trip and told him he'd bring him back a Tracey Island.
- That was the last time we saw him.
- Them Tracey Islands, they did suddenly become very hard to get hold of.
Yeah, I doubt he's still looking.
Sean said if he ever saw him again, he'd kill him.
Right, so no champagne at all then? - If he did anything stupid, we'd know about it by now.
- He did.
He left our mark with 50 grand.
Sean, look.
No one's bothered about what happened.
I just want you to call me.
Please.
Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering your phone? Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Sean.
Double anything please, Ed.
God, what's the one thing I said I'd do if I ever saw him again? - What's the one thing that I said I'd do? - Beat him to a pulp.
Did I mention anything about sharing a lift with him? Did I mention that? Cos that's what I did.
I should go back there right now and smash What are you going to do? Beat him up? Yeah, something like that.
You wanna watch? Sean, it's over.
It ended a long time ago.
Guys, I am sorry.
- I know I screwed up.
- Don't say that.
Could have happened to anyone.
- I mean this.
I'm sorry, OK? - All is forgotten.
I don't know about the rest of you, I'd have a drunken apology over 50 grand in cash any day.
- I'm gonna get you that money back.
- Hear that? We're going to get our money back.
- This will never happen again.
- It's all win-win now.
Why couldn't I just hit him? Because, Sean, it wouldn't have made any difference.
Let's just leave it.
Forget today happened.
Mickey's right.
Violence isn't going to change a thing.
- There's another way to get him.
- Sean.
It's been staring us in the face.
Sean, we're not going to con him.
Yes! We're going to con him.
He will have forgotten the whole thing by the morning.
- What if he hasn't? - Then he'll have to learn.
These things happen.
Dads leave.
You go into care, people go into foster homes.
They go onto the streets.
It's not like he's the first person that stuff's happened to.
The only thing different about him is he ended up here instead of dead.
Maybe he should concentrate on that for a change.
Is that what you do? Well, I was older.
It didn't affect me as much.
By two years, which makes you five.
I was mature for my age.
You carry on like that and you'll drop marmalade all over your plot for ultimate revenge.
You're not still on this? I thought you'd change your mind once you'd slept on it.
I've thought of a way to get him.
- Sean whatever you're planning, believe me, it won't make you feel any better.
- No? Well it's going to make him feel a lot worse.
That'll have to do.
- You're going to rip off your old man? - Yep.
- For £79,924.
- Not the notebook.
That's what he owes us.
Unpaid child support.
Em, are you with on this or what? I told you.
It's over.
All right, fine.
I'll do it on my own.
Look at the earlier pages.
- Child's handwriting.
- I'd say about eight years of age.
Look, you know me and my suppression of feelings, Michael.
I'm a big fan of that.
But this is his father.
And it's not going away.
I think I have what we need to start.
If I might have your attention.
Not now, Albert.
I'm a bit busy planning the grift.
Presenting our newest mark.
Mr Rex Kennedy.
Seen here returning to Britain for the first time since emigrating to Melbourne, Australia in 1987.
He left behind his wife and two children.
A year after his departure his wife passed away, leaving the children.
- What, is this some kind of joke to you? - Anything but.
Albert, what are you doing? Presenting our mark.
And possibly, possibly clearing the air as well.
If you've made up your mind to con him, Sean, we would as soon it was done professionally.
That means we do it as a team.
It also means that for the duration of the con, the mark's a mark, like any other.
That way maybe you won't have to reflect on all this from inside a jail cell.
We're going to con their dad? If everyone's in agreement.
Well, who knows? Maybe it'll get things out of his system.
So if we're all agreed Mr Kennedy's now a respected businessman in his adopted home of Melbourne, from where he directs a successful property developing company and also has an extensive portfolio throughout Australia and on several sites in Europe.
And one in London.
That's all I have so far.
That's OK, Albert, we'll get to know our mark better while we're in the grift.
Hang on.
This is still my grift.
If you guys want to help, that's great.
But I'm calling the shots on this one.
- Wouldn't have it any other way.
- I might need a drink.
OK, how many of you have heard of the global Sorry hang on a minute.
Probably best if I don't hear this.
Don't want to be hauled up as an accessory if it all goes pear-shaped, know what I mean? - That's no reflection on you, Sean.
- No.
- I'm sure it will all go very smoothly.
Thank you for your vote of confidence, Eddie.
Yeah, and maybe later we could celebrate your first grift with a refreshing bottle of expensive champagne.
OK, like I was saying, how many of you have heard of the global recession? Most of you.
OK, good.
Then you can tell me, what gets hit hardest in a recession? Long winded narrators? Property markets.
You see, the smart money is selling.
That's why the mark's in town.
He's trying to offload a brownfield site near Croydon.
No, no, no, no.
Not the treasure map.
- Why not the treasure map? - Because it's expensive, it's open air, that means a lot of variables.
We're doing the treasure map.
All that stuff's been factored in, OK? We're going to make him think there's millions of pounds in gold and jewellery buried on that site.
- Who buried it? - No-one buried it.
The plane it was in got shot down.
Now, Rex has just fired his London estate agent.
How do we get money out of Rex when he owns the land that the treasure's on? Because when I get cold feet he's going to pay me off.
Now can I please get back to explaining the plan? Rex has just fired his London estate agent.
Rex has just fired his London estate agent because he thinks he can do a better job himself.
Maybe you can deal with him directly.
- Exactly.
Ash, I want you could pose as the potential buyer.
- The buyer.
You should leave him back for later.
- This is my grift.
- Sean, Mickey's just trying to help.
Maybe it's best if you stay in the background for now.
You're going to be pretty busy with the mural anyway.
- On the what? - Mickey, you are going to be the surveyor.
I see you as the gruff, 'take no prisoners' kind.
A 'take no prisoners' surveyor.
Yeah, I know just the type.
Yeah, maybe you could base it on your 'say it how it is' marine biologist.
Albert, I'm not going to need you until next week when we're in the old people's home.
Intriguing.
Emma, I wasn't sure if you wanted to go foreground on this or - Nope.
- Probably don't.
OK.
Listen up, gang.
The year is 1940.
That wasn't torturous or convoluted, was it? Well, I think Sean's performing admirably.
Albert, the plan is far too complicated.
- There's a much easier way.
- It's on an epic scale.
But that shows ambition.
Or delusional psychosis.
About this mural.
I'm thinking some kind of old advert, and big.
The old military artefacts.
You'll probably to have to divide your time quite a bit.
I've always enjoyed the classic grift.
Haven't you, my dear? I hadn't really thought about it.
Of course, for a treasure map, there are two things that are required from the beginning.
- A map.
- We'll probably have to mock one of them up an' all.
- And the treasure.
This bracelet was worn by a young debutante to Queen Charlotte's ball in 1938.
The last of the true seasons, I always feel.
After the war, somehow things never seemed so grand.
- Just beautiful.
- Just what we're looking for.
I hate to part with it.
It's something of a family heirloom, you see.
Still, I suppose it was some other family's heirloom before my Auntie Edie palmed it from some posh bint in a tiara.
Let's say 5,000.
Let's say two, remembering you are going to collect on the insurance.
Let's say four and a half, remembering that's not your concern.
- Shall we say three? - Four and a half, before I start on about Christmas 1939.
We had gasmasks and tangerines in our stockings that year.
Give her the money.
Give her the money.
Police? I've been mugged.
Teague Holdings are delighted you've accepted their offer.
No, you won't have heard of them, Mr Kennedy.
They're new, very go-ahead.
My client is anxious to move to contract as soon as possible.
They'd like to send a surveyor along in the morning.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
What did he sound like? - Like a bloke.
- Yeah, what type of bloke? Like a dodgy bloke, or a bit of a tit bloke? Didn't reach firm conclusions on a three minute phone conversation.
You'll find out what he's like soon enough.
Mr Kennedy.
- Damien Carr.
I'm Mr Teague's surveyor.
- Hi.
Morning.
Morning.
Yeah, I think we're looking at a 25-acre site.
I assumed someone from Teague Holdings would be coming along.
Far too busy, mate.
Far too busy.
Sorry, could you move to your right please? Is he with you? Can we help you? You realise you're trespassing, mate? - Was I? - I'll deal with this.
- What's in the bag? - What bag? That bag? Sandwiches.
Sandwiches.
You hold this.
And a flask.
Sandwiches and a flask.
Whatever you find on this land is the legal property of the owner.
- I said I'll deal with this.
- You should call the police.
- It's hardly worth it.
- Hardly.
When Teague Holdings takes ownership, trespassers like this one here will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Wait.
- You're selling? - Yep.
Three weeks from now work will begin on a much-needed insurance company HQ.
Right.
I don't suppose you'd mind if I carried on with the detecting until you sell it? I only just came across this site now, didn't I? How was I supposed to know I was trespassing? There's a sign.
Oh, bloody kids.
Always knocking down my sign.
I'll bang on then, shall I? Off Mr Kennedy's land.
Now.
He's leaving.
No.
Hang on.
Hang on.
He's going back.
This is going to work.
- OK, Sean, what have we learned about our mark? - He's a tosser.
What else? - Total tosser.
- We were going to read him as we went along.
Yeah, I was.
I didn't get past the tosser part.
Come on.
Yes! He's found the bracelet.
He's got the treasure.
You see, I told you, I told you he would.
This is going to go exactly like I said it would.
Next we'll plant the inventory.
He'll see the bracelet on there and pay me off so he can have all the treasure to himself.
OK, look, he didn't like me taking the lead with you earlier.
Wouldn't take the metal detector, wouldn't call the police.
I think we are dealing with a man who doesn't like being told what to do.
What, you tell him to do something and he does the exact opposite? Yeah, exactly.
Remind you of anyone? Are you OK with all of this? I don't understand the question.
Well, your dad as a mark.
I thought it might be dredging up some stuff.
No, I told you there's nothing to dredge.
It's all dealt with.
Before, you spoke of Rex leaving Sean, and I couldn't help thinking If you're looking for trauma then you've got the wrong girl.
Rex is a mark like any other mark.
Emma, he's not though, is he? Eddie, I think you should start a door policy and stop all the boors from coming in.
No, I can't bar him.
He's got a bit of money invested in the business.
So you want six foot by ten foot? Yeah, thinking about it, bigger the better.
- On brick.
Pre-1938.
- For Thursday? Don't worry.
I've got every faith in you.
What about your military artefacts? When am I supposed to get hold of them? - What, you haven't got them? - Well, you only told me yesterday.
- I only came up with the plan yesterday.
- You must have the navigator's bag, at least.
- Sean, on a general note, the more elaborate the grift, the longer we know the requirements you have, the better.
Thank you, Albert.
Point taken.
You have got the navigator's bag? American navigator's pouch, circa 1940.
- Thank you.
- Pick up only.
And I had to pay the 'buy it now' price.
I mean, you know it all adds up, Sean.
That and the 50 grand.
Circa 1940.
What's his problem? Sorry.
I'm finding it hard to keep a straight face.
Circa 1940, with a single strap buckle.
Everyone knows double strap buckles were standard issue until well into the Korean conflict.
- What did he just say? - Finally, the con man gets conned.
- Eddie, how do you know all this? - I collect military artefacts.
You know I do.
I've told you often enough.
Do you lot not listen when I tell you things about my life outside this bar? Well, of course we listen.
It's just what you've said then has to make room for things that are in some way interesting or worthwhile.
That's amazing.
- It's an Aladdin's cave of depressing 1940s stuff.
- Still got that inventory? Get this down to the site and bury it under the sign, will you? I've got a visit to make.
I don't know.
A week, maybe longer.
I miss you too.
Darling, I'll call back.
OK.
Bye.
- What did you find? - Excuse me? - You saw me digging on your site.
- I went back just now.
Someone got there before me.
- You think it was me.
You should've put a tin can in its place, made me think that's what made the detector go off.
Why would I do that? It's my land, remember? Anything found on it belongs to me.
I knew it.
You're right.
Your property, what you find belongs to you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just do me a favour.
Can I have a little look at it? Just a little look? I'll give you 500 quid for it.
- It wouldn't make much sense selling it before I had it valued.
- Don't! - Do not have it valued.
- Why not? Just just take my word for it, yeah? No, you're not going to do that, are you? Why should I? What I'm about to tell you, not a lot of people know.
And those who do know, you don't want to know.
Apart from Uncle Lonnie.
Who's Uncle Lonnie? OK.
The year is 1940.
The blitz is raging.
The Germans could land any minute.
People are scared.
Even rich people.
But the rich being rich, they've got an overriding priority.
Staying rich.
They start eyeing up the necklaces and tiaras, what have you.
And they're faced with a horrible decision do they melt them down and donate them to the war effort? Or wait for Hitler to nab them? That's when Uncle Lonnie shows up.
See, Uncle Lonnie's an American, fresh from a spot of gun-running down in Spain.
Eyes for the main chance, and handy with a plane an' all.
Uncle Lonnie calls a meeting.
Some prominent people show up, businessmen, aristocrats, what have you.
Then he tells them his plan.
Hire him and his mates to fly their valuables to the safety deposit boxes over in New York.
Now, Uncle Lonnie's an ace navigator and reckons he can fly above the air raid guns.
What he didn't reckon on is radar.
Unauthorised flight over south east England.
It can only be Luftwaffe, right? Boom.
Plane's shot down.
But when the authorities see the wreckage and the bodies, they know there's a problem.
Somebody gives Churchill a call.
And Churchill is furious.
What do you mean, we shot down a plane with three yanks aboard? How's that going to help matters now we're trying to get the Americans into the war? - Bury it.
- Bury it.
Bury the lot.
Bury the bodies.
Bury the cargo.
- Anything traceable, bury it.
- Anything traceable, bury it.
Say a stray bomb hit Croydon.
Report the plane lost at sea.
Report the plane lost at sea.
Bloody fools.
Lots of sad posh people.
But no-one can say anything.
Who's going to admit to being involved in something like that with the rest of the country are melting down their fish knives, right? So, no-one talks about it.
Years go by.
It's forgotten.
Except by Uncle Lonnie.
He got out just before the plane went down.
He suffered a mild concussion, which he wasn't too chuffed about cos it made him forget where the plane hit.
But he's been searching for the spot ever since.
That is, until he handed the baton to me.
My number's on the back.
Call me if you want to talk more.
Just one question.
Have you had any psychiatric treatment? You think I'm crazy? That suits me down to the ground.
If I'm crazy, you won't mind me practising my eccentric hobby on your land, will you? Oh, by the way, those kids have knocked your sign down again.
Crazy.
- This for the con? - Yeah.
- World War Two con, is it? - That's the theme, yeah.
I don't know quite how to tell you this.
Erm to Britain until 1953.
I mean, what kind of idiot No, you're not an idiot, Ash.
You're just historically hopelessly naive.
Yeah, well it's lucky you came along when you did and found us the right image.
- You sure you're all right up that ladder? - Yeah.
It's just painting by numbers, isn't it? And, erm, no offence, mate, but probably best in the hands of an expert, you know.
Yeah, yeah, course you're right.
Yeah, well I'll see you later then.
Yep, see you later.
You could see it on his face.
He's already put the bracelet together with the inventory.
He is holding out on me and he's going to keep holding out on me.
Everything is going to schedule.
Soon as he works out the bracelet's real, he's going to ring me and ask for the full story.
Then he'll work out he needs to see Uncle Lonnie.
He's probably in the jewellery shop right now.
Inter-war piece.
Emeralds and diamonds.
This is an extremely valuable item.
What did you say the provenance was? - Belonged to my grandmother.
- Would you excuse me just for one moment? [ PHONE RINGS .]
Meet me at the site.
So this is the flight path? Passes right over.
And you reckon Uncle Lonnie's plane hit where you found the bracelet? We should be so lucky.
The plane could've been leaking cargo for miles before it hit the ground.
The wreckage could be anywhere on this site.
Digging all this lot up, I say we're looking at about six weeks.
Think you can put your buyer off for that long? We need to move faster.
Where's your Uncle Lonnie? He's in an old people's home.
Why? If he can remember anything about the night of the crash, it might give us a clue about where the plane hit the ground.
We wouldn't have to dig up the whole site.
Yeah, we need to speak to him.
That's a good idea.
I'll call and make an appointment.
- Now.
Today.
- Well, it can't be done.
Me and Uncle Lonnie, we had a falling out.
- Well, patch it up.
- Why? What's the hurry? - I tried to have the bracelet valued.
What? Why did you go and do that? I'm worried I might have set alarm bells ringing.
[ MOBILE RINGS .]
- Sean.
- Yeah, hi, I'd like to speak to Leonard Brice please.
- He's a resident of the home.
- What, now? Yeah, it's Ben.
His grand-nephew.
What do you mean, he's still not speaking to me? Just tell him I'm on my way down right now.
Yeah, yeah, I've got to fix things.
Nearest hospital please.
- OK, Sean, where's the retirement home? - I don't know how things got so messed up.
[ PHONE RINGS .]
Yeah.
[ PAGER BEEPS .]
Excuse me.
Well, sorry gents.
Right.
Retirement homes.
- Where are we going? - Retirement home.
Ash will call you with directions.
I think this is your size.
[ MOBILE BEEPS .]
- It's the next left.
- OK.
Nobody is trying to put you in a home.
I know what this place is.
You want to think I'm losing my marbles so you can get your hands on my money.
Daddy, that's very unfair.
Excuse me.
Can I see someone from admissions, please? And can you bring restraints? Thank you.
It's this way.
OK.
Ready for your sponge bath, Sir? I assure you, I am perfectly capable Oh, so very kind.
It's just down here.
- Nurse.
- Let's get you out of those things, get you nice and clean.
Could you say that again, only slower? Eddie, what can I say? - That is very impressive.
- It's taken me ages.
- I haven't stopped.
- I thought you were looking a bit peaky.
Has he aged it down? You've aged it down, haven't you? Well, you can't have it looking brand new, can you? All kinds of anachronisms.
No, no, who needs the aggravation? I mean, by rights, I shouldn't have used lead-free paint.
What's he done to me mural? Didn't anyone tell you? War damage.
Come on, let's get these bricks down to the site.
Uncle Lonnie.
Uncle Lonnie.
It's me, it's Ben.
- You all right? - You.
You're not welcome here.
You stole my map.
Where is it? Stole? I didn't steal it.
You handed on the baton, remember? Billy? Billy? You brought Billy? Yeah, yeah, that's right.
It's Billy.
Play along.
- Who's Billy? - His son.
He's dead.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Listen, Uncle Lonnie.
We found something.
It might be from the plane.
- It's a bracelet.
- You didn't get it valued, did you? - No, course not.
- Because if they trace it then all the cargo on board can be declared as a treasure trove.
Then you know where it goes? It goes straight to the Crown.
There are dangerous people monitoring every stolen goods list in the country looking out for anything that was on that plane.
Calm down.
We're getting closer, but we're running out of time.
Anything new you can remember about the night of the crash would really help us.
I mean, anything at all.
- Ah, let's see.
We were - What? I'm not going to tell you anything, you know.
Stay away from me, all right? Mr Brice needs to rest.
You really need to leave.
Now.
- Go.
- All right.
- Yes.
- OK.
- Now come here, Billy.
Get closer, get closer.
I see a man, smiling, in a white coat.
Now if you can find that man smiling in the white coat, then you've found the treasure.
- I've got to go, Dad.
- Oh, don't go.
"Dad.
" "Dad" Did you get any of that? - No.
- A smiling face.
A man in a white coat.
- What? You're telling me? - Of course.
We're partners, aren't we? OK, Sean, OK.
Why do you think he told you about the man in the white coat? - I've been thinking about this.
He must've figured out I was listening in.
- No, no, no.
He'll known you couldn't hear him.
Maybe he doesn't want to take any chances.
Maybe he's lulling me into a false sense of security.
He's not stupid, he's feeding me the partners' line so he can stab me in the back later on.
Let's not forget, he's still holding out on me over the inventory.
Like we knew he would.
Think about it, guys.
It's obvious.
- Sean - As long as I get him to the site tomorrow, tell him I've got the creeps and that I want to bail out, it'll be fine.
He sees the coloured bricks, he works out what they mean.
He knows he can get the treasure out in a day.
Once he works that out, he'll jump at the chance to pay me off.
Why did you get the bracelet valued, Rex? - It was the one thing I told you not to do.
- Why? What's happened? It's left a trail.
I told you other people knew about it.
Now someone's on to me.
- I'm being watched.
- You're being paranoid.
- I'm not.
I want out.
- But we're so close.
- We don't even know what was on that plane.
Uncle Lonnie could've been exaggerating.
I've got cold feet, and I want out.
And I need some cash to get away.
You know, the bracelet.
What's that worth, 80 grand? - Give me 80 grand.
- No.
As a finder's fee.
Whatever you find here, you can keep.
- No.
- What is the matter with you? Just give me the money.
I've got something to show you.
What's this? I reckon that navigator had that on him when he bailed out.
That's the inventory.
The bracelet's on there.
You see that total? That's in 1939 money too.
Uncle Lonnie wasn't exaggerating.
- Why are you showing me this? - To make you understand that you're insane to settle for 80,000.
We're on the verge of millions.
The man in the white coat.
We'll solve the clue together, yeah? Yeah.
What do you reckon about all these coloured bricks? He told you about the inventory.
Why did he tell me? That wasn't supposed to happen.
He was supposed to hold out on me.
Has he twigged the coloured bricks yet? - He doesn't know what they are.
- I thought you were going to help him on that.
Mickey was right.
None of this is making me feel any better.
I've tried thinking about the 80 grand.
It's not working.
You tried thinking about 80 grand cradled by a naked woman? Seriously Ash, it's like I've waited my whole life to get this guy and now I've got him You're not sure he's that guy? I had it in my head that he was this monster.
- What if he's not? - Way I understood it, this wasn't about what he's like, it was about what he did.
What if he's a nice guy? Listen, this could go a few ways.
Least likely is you and Rex going down the football together.
Finish the con, Sean.
Stop sulking, Eddie.
You'll get your bricks back.
The smiling face.
Where have you been? Look, the coloured bricks.
It's the man in the white coat.
We found him.
It's here.
We found the treasure! He's not going to give us the 80 grand.
He wants to dig up the whole site and split everything he finds with me.
- It was a stupid con to start with.
- It was a perfectly sound grift.
Albert, it didn't work.
He was supposed to see the man in the white coat when I was getting cold feet.
That's when he should have paid me off.
- Well, maybe we could salvage something.
- No.
No.
- It's over.
- You think? - What do you want to hear, Emma? I feel stupid, I messed up.
Is that what you want to hear? - You know, this is so typical of you.
Sean's feelings.
- What? Everybody here has had to jump through hoops for you.
Because of what you feel.
And now you think you might feel something else, you want to walk away.
Well, what about what other people feel? What about me? I had to look after you for ten years.
Why don't - we talk about how that felt? - We looked after each other.
No.
Rubbish.
I told you that to make you feel better about yourself.
You were hopeless.
I had to look out for you all the time.
I was a kid.
What? What was I? Was I your mum? Only someone as vain and self-centred as you could think this was your con to try and call off.
We are going ahead, and we are going to take this bastard.
- So what's the back-up plan? - Eh? - Every con has a back-up.
What is it? - I don't know.
I'm not talking to you, am I? What is the back-up plan? Your name is Camilla Teague.
This is your suit.
This is Rex Kennedy.
Please leave a message.
Mr Kennedy, I'm calling on behalf of Teague holdings regarding the sale of your site.
When we get the treasure out we're going to need some kind of awning.
That way no one can see us digging.
Yeah, awning.
You're not still worried about being watched? That doesn't matter now anyway.
We'll have the treasure out in a day.
We're home and dry.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR .]
Mr Kennedy? Mr Kennedy? It's Camilla Teague of Teague Holdings.
Don't open it.
- Come in.
- Good morning.
I understand there's some sort of hold up with the sale of your site.
I presume you've had interest from elsewhere, which is why I thought I'd drop by in person with an offer I think you will find compelling.
Now that's 30% on the original offer.
Yes, I thought that might claim your attention.
For that figure, I will need immediate signature.
Teague.
I know that name.
Well, yes, you may well.
It's an old family with something of a tradition in public services.
How many other properties does Teague Holding own? Well, at the moment, our portfolio's limited.
None? She knows.
You know what's on that land, don't you? Is this some kind of a last minute manoeuvre? You know about the treasure.
Your grandfather told you all about it.
There.
Oswald Teague.
And this is your grandmother's bracelet.
I'm sorry, the property's been taken off the market.
- Well - You can keep the bracelet.
I will.
You do realise you're going to have to buy my silence as well? - You won't say anything.
- Why not? Family honour? You have been away a long time.
If the authorities search that site, everything on it will be declared treasure trove.
The only thing you will ever see is a thank you note from the Queen.
I'll settle for 500,000.
- Whoa.
That's too much.
- Is it? Don't give her that much, Rex.
I can cover it.
For 500, I'll rescind all claim.
You get the lot.
Trust me, she'll she'll settle for less.
No, I won't.
We know what's down there.
It's worth it.
You have a deal.
£500,000 of your father's money.
- This is not what we agreed.
We said 80.
- That was a long time ago, Sean.
You hijacked my plan.
You knew it'd go this way.
You always have a plan B, Sean.
We only used it when you walked away from your own grift.
Stop sulking, Eddie.
You'll get your bricks back.
Yeah, you were right.
Plan B.
He'll be here roughly ten o'clock.
Ten o'clock.
You never wanted this to work.
Neither did you.
Ever since you met him and realised he was just a man.
Why didn't you hit him in the lift? Why didn't you do the read? OK, Sean what have we learned about our mark? - He's a tosser.
- Why didn't you show him what the bricks meant? What do you reckon about all these coloured bricks? - I'm not sure.
- You had him and you walked away.
- You didn't want to con him, Sean.
- I didn't know what I wanted.
Well sometimes you need someone else to show you.
The back up comes in two parts.
This part only gets you the cash.
It doesn't fix things between you and Sean, or between you and what happened with your dad.
You know that, don't you? Ask Rex for 500.
What do you want? They've ripped me off.
I've had diggers in all morning.
Young one's medium height, mid-twenties.
I want no police involvement, understand? No Hello, Rex.
I'd give up on the detective agency if I were you.
This is something they can't help you with.
Now move it.
You're the surveyor.
And you're the blameless family man.
It's OK, we just want to talk.
- Who are you? - We're friends of theirs.
Emma and Sean.
You both You had me right the way through.
You're clever.
I could tell you were going to be clever.
You don't get to do that.
You don't get to act like the proud father.
Well, it's just I've pictured this moment so many times.
I bet you never thought it would look quite like this.
No.
How did you see it going? Us popping down the pub catching up? And on the way out, asking if it was OK to call you Dad? Picking out bunk beds in the Ikea catalogue? I think about you every day.
- How's that make you feel, Sean? - Terrible, Emma.
He must've been wracked with guilt.
- Let me explain everything to you, please.
- Why don't you start by explaining why you walked out on us? I mean, we'd love to hear that one.
You have to understand, everything back then was a mess.
I was in a mess.
There were debts, I was drinking too much.
- I wasn't any good for anyone.
- Poor Rex, under all that pressure.
I'm welling up.
I figured you'd be better off without me.
And then you figured we'd be better off without anyone? No, I didn't know about your mother.
I didn't know she'd died.
I didn't hear about her death until five years after.
- Then you should have come and found us.
- By then it was too late.
I was remarried to Elaine.
She didn't know about the family.
So you decided to keep things hunky dory on your end, yeah? I thought you were settled.
I thought you were in school, that you were doing OK for yourself.
Well, we weren't.
And I was afraid, all right? I was afraid of what could happen.
To you.
Cos that's what this is really about.
After all your little excuses it was us or you, and you chose you.
We were your kids.
You were supposed to check up on us.
- It wasn't that simple.
- Yes, it was exactly that simple.
You had an obligation and you ignored it.
You should've come and found us.
I know I should've.
I'm sorry.
I am so sorry.
If I could change what I did back then if I could make it up to you You can't.
It's too late.
So how about we have a crack at some compensation, eh? - What do you want? - Well, I did want 80 grand in back dated child support.
But then he made him realise he wanted something more.
My 500,000.
If you keep that, I'll be ruined.
Yeah, we figured that one out.
It's not our problem though.
Besides, it's not about the money.
No.
To be honest I just got that one myself.
We don't need your money.
We're fine.
We made something of ourselves.
- This is about you.
- You can keep your money after you've done one little thing for us.
Are you sure you want to do this? Oh, yeah.
All you have to do is email this picture to your wife and you can have the money back.
If you don't, we keep the full 500.
Your money or your life.
I do wonder how she's going to take it when she finds out you've been lying all these years.
It's a weird sensation, isn't it? Your whole life falling to pieces in your hands.
Now imagine you're five.
Just push the button.
Tell her the secret you've been hiding.
I can't do it.
I chose between myself and my family before.
I'm not going to do it again.
- Good decision.
- I am sorry.
You should be.
What do you want? I want to know why he left us.
You have to understand everything back then was a mess.
I was in a mess.
There were debts, I was drinking too much.
I wasn't any good for anyone.
I want him to feel how we felt.
It's a weird sensation, isn't it? Your whole life falling to pieces in your hands.
Now imagine you're five.
I want him to know he screwed up.
I can't do it.
I chose between myself and my family before.
I'm not going to do it again.
Most importantly, I want to hear him say sorry.
I am so sorry.
And if I could change what I did back then If I could make it up to you You can't.
It's too late.
[ CHEERING .]
We thought about putting but remembered you'd already blown that much.
Funny.
- At last, champagne.
- This is good champagne.
Yeah, and just so you know it's - Eddie, you shouldn't have.
- What a thoughtful gift.
- Thank you.
- What did you wish for? - I'm not saying.
- Just so long as it wasn't any more birthday presents.
- Conning your old man was your present.
You know that, don't you? - I know that.
- It's from all of us.
It's the best present I ever got as well.
I'll never forget it.
- I couldn't have done it without you guys.
- Nonsense.
No, that's crazy talk.
Seriously, all this has brought one thing home to me.
I could have spent my entire life thinking about the family I missed out on, when the whole time my real family, - the people I care about - We got you an X Box as well.
Please give it to him before he finishes that speech.
I know what he wished for when he blew those candles out.
He wished all five of us could be together forever.
Actually, I wished you'd stop banging on about that £50,000 I never picked up.
Well, you don't have to worry about that.
Who wants a five way split of 50 grand When you can have a five way split of 80? I'm thinking of using my share as compensation for a troubled upbringing.
Yeah.
Didn't I ever tell you about my mum and dad? - Actually no.
- No time for the tooth fairy.
Every time a tooth fell out, I'd put it under the pillow.
Still there in the morning.
So I reckon backdating tooth fairy payments plus interest - Albert, where's that notebook? - Oh, come on.