Regular Show (2010) s06e04 Episode Script

You gotta scream first, bro.
But we're not scared.
Do you want the candy or not? That's that's what I thought.
Alright, we're closing up shop.
No more trick-or-treaters.
So, what do you guys wanna do? The night is still young.
I got a cat sitter, so I can be out for at least another hour.
I've got an idea, bro.
Scary stories! Dude, we do that every year.
Yeah, let's do something really scary.
Well, we can rent a few genre films.
Or we could go to bed early, and be alone with our thoughts.
Nah, let's go to a haunted house.
Those are the scariest.
You know who else is the scariest? My mom! Augh! Not this again.
No, dudes, she's seriously scary like a haunted house.
Yeah, yeah, just like how she eats raw acorns? Or that she swam across the ocean with one arm tied behind her back? Yep.
Or that she's a registered notary public? Yeah, it's all true, bro.
Everyone knows all the best comedy is based on truth.
Prooooove iiiiiiit! What? Proooooove iiiiiiit! Woah, let's just slow down and Come to think of it, I've never seen your mom.
Yeah, me neither Well, she doesn't really like visitors, so.
What? Even Fives hasn't met her? Now we have to do it! What are you angling at, bro? If your mom is so amazing, let's meet her.
Listen, I think I'm getting tired.
I'm just gonna go home.
Augh! Fine! I'll take you to meet my mom on one condition.
You gotta tell scary stories the whole way there.
Alright, chumps, who's first? Oh, I have a story.
Augh! This party! I hate dressing like this.
That's only because you chose Uranus.
It was the only one that fit! So I said, "That's not your back scratcher, that's my toothbrush!" It's true, you did say that to me.
Yeah, we both remember.
It's time.
So, like you all know, as per tradition, we pull our names out of this pumpkin bucket, and whoever's last, it's their turn.
Please, we don't have to do this.
Remember what happened to Hi-Five Ghost? It's all right, Pops.
Maybe it's really fun in there.
Let us begin.
And the first name is Skips.
Mordecai.
Muscle Man.
Ha-ha, yeah! Whoo-hoo! Be-- Oh, that's me.
Ha! Boy, what a relief.
Well, two more left.
Pops is right! We don't need to do this! Rigby.
Sucks to be you, Pops.
No, please listen.
We can just leave the park.
We don't know what's out there, bro.
Sorry, Pops.
This is the only way to ensure our safety! No! Where'd he go?! There he is! Get him down from there, Uranus.
There it is.
We do this every year, Pops, and every year we stay alive.
Therefore, this must be why we're alive.
Please, just let me say my piece.
Fine.
You've got one minute.
But then we're throwing you in that hole.
Look at what we've become -- tearing at each other like animals.
And not the gentle kind.
But ever since that fog appeared, we've been feeding each other to this hole.
Look me in the eye and remember the times before the raffle.
The times before the hole.
Pops, I think I speak for us all when I say get in the hole! Huh.
Well, I guess I could 6 MONTHS LATER So I said, "That's not your back scratcher" "That's my toothbrush!" Say, where did you get this wonderful tea? Oh, well This is actually kind of embarrassing but, uh We were able to leave the park and nothing bad happened.
Turns out the fog was all in our minds.
It was really more of a psychological, existential kind of fog.
I guess you could say the fog represented our fear of the outside world.
Well, how about that? I call it "The Wonderful Adventure of the Mysterious Hole in the Park".
No offense, Pops, but I said scary stories, not reimaginings of classic literature.
Maybe I should turn around and go home.
Aw, come on, Muscle Man! You said if we told scary stories, we'd get to meet your mom! You know who else can't handle the truth about their lame story? Fine.
I've got a scary story.
This one's about two of my favorite people Mordecai and Rigby are dead.
Their lives ended tragically while doing what should have been a simple job -- haunting the house for Halloween.
I did everything I could to motivate them: pep talks, instructional speeches, occasional yelling.
I even tried taking away their precious video games.
But it was never enough.
They were never able to finish haunting the house.
Oh, no, bro.
Can I see you after this sparsely attended service? What's this all about? I've got a four o'clock at four o'clock.
You have to fire Mordecai and Rigby.
Muscle Man, I don't know how to say this, but you were just at their memorial.
I had you personally dig their graves.
Ugh.
Look at the house.
That's just the wind.
Mordecai and Rigby have unfinished business.
If you don't fire them, they will haunt the house forever.
Ghost rules, bro.
Fine.
I'll fire Mordecai and Rigby.
Come on, Benson.
This is what you were born to do.
They are so fired.
Mordecai and Rigby, you're-- Mordecai and Rigby, I can hear you up there! You two are officially-- So scary! Gotta fire 'em Just gotta fire 'em Enough messing around! Gotta fire 'em So So scary Their video games! Hook, line, and sinker! You're fired! No, why?! Why aren't they gone?! Wait.
I don't know much about these newfangled computers, but I do know one thing -- a worker is not technically fired until you delete them from the em The employee database! Ohhhh No! How long are these stairs? So scary! Aah! So scary! I did it! What's What's going on?! Aah! You're dead, dude.
What?! Yeah, man.
You don't remember? Benson, look at this mask! You've been haunting the house for months.
No, dude.
It's "lefty locky, righty relaxy".
That doesn't even rhyme! Then what are you guys doing here? You've ruined my office! We're not in your office.
This is our office.
We got promoted! And this isn't our office.
It's a cemetery.
And that's your grave! NOOOOOOOO! Is that it? Yes, that's it.
I was dead the whole time.
Scary, right? Dude, that twist's been done, like, a million times.
What are you talking about? It's way creepier that way! Muscle Man, how long 'til we get there? It's gonna be about now.
All right, ladies.
I hope you brought your adult diapers, 'cause you're gonna need them after either "A" -- this really difficult hike -- or "B" -- once you mee You know who doesn't drop their trail mix when they get scared? My mom! Ugh! How far is it to your mom's place anyway? We'll get there when we get there! Do you want to meet the woman who brought me into this world or not? We didn't come all this way just to turn back now.
But, like, if you had to just give a rough estimate of how far? It'd go a lot faster with another scary story, bro.
Augh! Duuuude! No, Mordecai, it's okay.
I got this one.
Hold my trail mix.
I'm gonna tell a story that covers every freaky thing you can think of! I'll allow it.
It was a scary movie night like any other.
We were watching "Heads, You're Dead" on the couch.
Heads, I win.
Tails, you're dead! No! No! No! Lame! I thought it was provocative, leaving the end ambiguous so the viewer is forced to reckon with her own assumptions.
Oh, if you want to see something provocative then check this out! In my hands, I hold the scariest movie ever made! Pffft.
Doubt it.
No, dude, the internet says.
There's a whole backstory and everything.
It was a stormy night in the '70s when a VHS marketing team was working late.
All right, guys.
This is our last hope.
If the VHS we release isn't the scariest thing on the market, this company's going under.
Okay, okay.
What about werewolves? Hack-and-slash brings in the cash.
Great idea if teenagers actually had any money.
It's their parents we should be selling to.
And they want classy.
Restrained.
If someone wants to watch a black-and-white movie, they'll do it at the ancient history museum, Dale! It's gotta be cutting-edge.
One word, two syllables -- Japan.
They had no idea that ball lightning was heading straight towards them! What's that heading towards us? Ball lightning! This This is it! The scary movie that'll save our company! But it didn't save the company.
They put the tape in, just as you would any tape not created by ball lightning fusion, and it sucked them into the movie! Legend has it that no one's ever survived to see the end, which is why it only cost $1.
99 with free shipping.
Ohhhhhhhh! Dude, come on.
There's no way that story's true.
Yeah, really.
Sucked into the tape? That's not even that scary-sounding.
Hey, fine.
If you don't think your lives are in danger, then there's no reason not to watch it, right? We don't have anything better to do.
Play the tape, Rigby! This is gonna be awesome! Hope everybody brought backup underpants.
Do you have a feeling like we're being watched? Trust me, we're the only ones out here.
What was that?! So glad to see you again, sir.
My client list has been dwindling of late.
Uh I-I-I just I didn't know you had a daughter.
I don't.
Watashi to asobou yo.
Anata ga inakute sabishii.
This movie's super-lame, dude.
Why's everybody being so dumb? Yeah, you see a threat and you run, people.
Sorry, guys.
I guess it was just cheap 'cause it sucked.
The power's out! Then how's the VCR still on? Man, the guy at the yard sale said this thing was gonna outlive us all.
Huh.
I think the story's true! Whoa.
This is awesome! I told you we'd get sucked in and now we're sucked in! Dude, this isn't awesome! We're stuck in a horror movie! Three horror movies! And we're not the only ones.
VHEssence Distribution? I guess they never did figure out how to save the company.
Weren't there three of them? I'm sorry I abused my power when I was a hall monitor! I'm sorry I intentionally didn't return that prism to the lab! I'm sorry I-- Do you hear something? No, babe.
I can only hear our love for each other.
What was that? It sounded like it came from the closet.
No, dude! Don't! It's those teenagers from the movie.
We've gotta get out of here.
Yeah, you guys should totally go.
Six is a crowd, right, baby? What?! No! That's how you die! Don't you get it?! We just have to make it to the end of the movie! Package delivery.
It's a trick.
Leave it on the doorstep! Uh It needs a signature.
Oh, well, in that case Wait! But it could be my special-order legwarmers! I don't want to have to go pick them up at the warehouse.
I'm back here, in the bushes.
Oh, okay.
I don't have a pen on me.
Hey! She's my ride home, buddy! Guys! Come on! Now's our chance while he's busy chowing down on those chumps! Oh, man Oh, no! Inmate! I'm not an inmate.
My name's Wyatt.
I'm just here for a haircut.
Why would you come to a mental asylum for a haircut? Well, my barber told me to meet him here.
Hmm.
Made sense at the time.
Look! And somehow this just got creepier.
Come on, Wyatt! What are you waiting for?! He might not be trying to kill us.
And I really need a haircut What?! You look fine! Let's just go! No.
He might be cool.
I'm gonna chance it! Wyatt, no! What'll it be, sir? Just a little off the top.
You got it! How does it look? Oh, come on.
It's not that bad, is it? That's it.
We're done.
There's no way out of this madhouse.
You guys could just use that door over there.
Let's go! Oh, great.
Now who's that?! You must be very lonely.
Everyone is afraid of you because you're different.
You just want someone to play with.
I will play with you! Our friendship will be a butterfly floating on the breeze of-- Do you want to play too? Wake up, Eileen! Wake up! I'll never forgive you for playing this movie, Rigby! Hey, I thought it would be fun! Wait a second.
What's this? It looks like a bunch of names and titles? "Best boy grip"? What's that? We're in the credits! We must be near the end! Well, if the movie's over, then we're out of danger, right? Uh, CJ? Ball lightning! Those really are all-weather boots.
Run! Look! Up ahead! It's the end of the movie! Ha-ha! Finally! Rigby! No lightning can resist metal! Okay, that kinda hurt.
Eileeeeeen! Hurry! The way out! You guys okay? Yeah.
I gotta admit, that movie was pretty cool.
Yeah, but not as cool as ball lightning fusing all of our butt cheeks together.
NOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU, "TRIPLE THREAT"! Oh no! I cut Eileen's arm.
And she's got my leg.
And Mordecai's got my face.
The end.
You're welcome.
Well that was uncomfortable.
I have no idea you were suching expert lightning ball.
Ball lightning, it's a thing! Whatever dude, wait here.
This is where your mom lives? Are you suprised? Let's just me and get outta here.
This place is freaking me out! In a minute.
I gotta go in first until she's got company.
She doesn't take to kýndly suprise visitors.
Oh no, but her Hallowen decorations are so lovely.
Those aren't decorations.
You guys stay here.
It's better not be another wanna these pranks.
Alright.
She's ready for you.
Muscle Man? Mrs.
Sorrenstein? Nobody is there.
Oh wait Muscle Man! I know this was a prank.
What prank? Oh man! I got you guys, I got you good! This isn't my mom's house.
You think she'd living in this dumb.
I had these all planed out! That's just Muscle Bro! He was waiting here the whole time.
Someone's call me? If that's not you, who is that? You know else like scary people? Me! Wait kids! You forgot your candies! Happy Hallowen Oh, this costume gets my boys every year.