Top Gear (US) s06e04 Episode Script
Car for Life
- That's 707 horsepower.
- That's pretty awesome.
- It is, right? - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Whoa.
Come on, man.
What are you doing? Watch out! The bucket! The bucket! Oh, damn it.
Both: Aah! - Life is a journey.
You're born You grow up and then you die.
Now, the typical American owns about eight vehicles during their lifetime, but what if you could only own one vehicle for your entire life from birth to death? What is the best vehicle that is versatile enough to carry you through every one of life's milestones? To find out, we each had to purchase a vehicle released the year we were born.
We're meeting at the Port of Los Angeles to pick up our rides and begin life's journey.
Behold, gentlemen.
The car for the rest of your life.
- Are you kidding me? - Look at all that beauty, would you? This might be the coolest thing I've ever picked.
- Remember that from the movies? Yeah, I do.
Oh, there it is.
- Gentlemen, feast your eyes.
- On what? - 1973 Datsun 240Z.
I chose the Datsun 240Z because I don't want to grow old.
In this, I can live life in the fast lane like an eternal teenager.
When it came out, it had a top speed of 125 miles an hour, and can do 0 to 60 in 8 seconds.
Not bad in 1973.
Plus, this car has a personal connection for me.
My mom crashed in one just like this, and I was in the back.
- That explains a lot.
- I mean, this brings back memories, and I got to say, it is an awesome machine that you could have for life.
- If you wanted something for life, you'd want it to be an all-occasions vehicle.
That's what this shaggin' wagon is.
It's the 1980 Dodge Tradesman.
That's right.
I chose this van because it's great-looking and versatile.
Variety is the spice of life, and the Tradesman was sold as a universal work van, a camper, and even an ambulance.
Plus, this generation of van passed the test of time.
Dodge built it from 1979 all the way until 1993.
- Have you put a black light in that thing, by the way? - No way.
- Gentlemen, you're missing the point.
When you grow up-- and hopefully one day it'll happen to you-- you should drive a man's car.
That's what this is.
A 1966 Fleetwood, my friend.
The deluxe Brougham version came with a padded vinyl roof, foot rests, and even a lighted writing table in the rear seat, which is why it is the perfect choice.
I want to go through life in comfort and style.
Pimpin', baby.
A 7-liter, big-block, rolling slab of Detroit steel.
Built for life.
- I mean, we obviously picked vehicles from the year we were born, but that's '66 and that's '73.
You guys are old.
Are you going first? - I'll go first.
- You sure you don't need a nap or, like, a fiber pill or anything? - That's good.
Do you need something like, I don't know, an alibi? - Tanner's car is fun if you're young, and Adam's car is comfortable if you're old.
But we're looking for one car that best fits every stage of life.
To test our choices, we're starting with everyone's first automotive milestone: The driver's license exam.
To test our cars' acceleration, braking, and cornering, we're driving an obstacle course that recreates a typical driver's license road test, but with our own unique spin.
- Okay.
Good.
- Close it.
We'll start in reverse and we'll slalom around parked cars and into a tight parking spot.
Then we'll shift into drive, accelerate around a turn, come to a complete stop, make multiple lane changes, negotiate typical residential hazards, and end by parallel parking.
Over 50% of people fail their driver's license exam the first time, and none of us have taken it in over 20 years.
So while we navigate the course, we'll also be asked questions from an actual DMV exam.
- The instructor comes in, puts down the visor.
It starts raining cash.
Then you say, "Oh, is that yours?" If he says, "Yes," Puts it in his pocket, you're home free.
If he says, "No," you say, "Ah! It's my dad's car.
It must be his.
" And you got plausible deniability.
- Enjoyed your story.
Are you ready? - So it's gonna be like that, huh? - Yeah.
The fastest time wins but 10 seconds is added for every wrong answer.
- Don't mind me.
I'm gonna offer a few distractions we experienced in high school.
You remember dodgeball, right? - Ready? Go.
- Go.
- Here we go.
When parking your vehicle parallel to the curb on a level street, "A," your front wheels must be turned towards the street, "B," your wheels must be within-- - He's throwing balls at my car! - Or "C," one of your rear wheels must touch the curb.
- I'm sorry.
Could you repeat the question? - No.
I cannot.
When you're driving in fog, you should use your "A," fog lights only, "B," high beams, "C," low beams.
- Low beams.
- Correct.
You just sold your vehicle.
You must notify the DMV within "A," 5, "B," 10, or "C," 15 days.
- Five days.
- Correct.
Oh! Okay.
Unless otherwise posted, the speed limit--okay.
- That was good.
- In a residential area is "A," 20, "B," 25, "C," 30 miles per hour.
- 20.
- Aha, that was incorrect.
Five--when parking uphill on a two-way street with no curb, front wheels should be-- - Listen, I mean to do this.
- Oh! - Don't mark it down.
- Oh! He's trying to kill me now! - That's too much.
- He's annoying me.
- Turn to the left, turn to the right, or parallel with the pavement, which one is it? Aah! - Time.
- And stop the clock.
- He got two of the five correct.
- So 10 seconds per question.
That's 30 seconds.
- What? - Obstacle count? - I'll be honest, I lost count after about the fifth one.
- Those two, that's it.
This one I meant to do 'cause you annoy me.
- We'll call it two.
So that's 50 seconds added on to 1:48.
- What? - That's 2:38 if my math is correct.
- I'm going next and I'm never riding with you again.
- I did bring some wet naps.
Do you have any idea what goes on in these vans? - Just hit the bell.
- Don't do it yet.
I've got to get rid of-- - All right.
Go! - Get, like, 90% of the bacteria out of here.
To the Mystery Machine, Scoob.
- You should begin to use your turn signal, "A," at least 50 feet before the turn - Okay.
- "B," when you reach the intersection-- You're going so slow-- or "C," at least 100 feet.
- Uh, I think at least 100 feet.
- Annoyingly, that's correct.
Three--you're getting ready to make a right turn.
You should, "A," signal and turn immediately, "B," stop, "C," slow down or stop if necessary and then make the turn.
- C.
- Correct again.
- Thank you.
Hold on.
She's got-- - She's gonna tip over! - She's got a little power.
- It's not stable! Large trucks turning into the street--oh! You're going head-on to it! - You got to be kidding me! - May complete their turn in either left or right lane, "B," often have to use part of the left lane to complete the turn, "C," must stay in the right lane at all times, "D," all of the above.
- B.
- Damn it! You got every one right.
- Thank you.
I'm an excellent driver.
- And you just ran into the police car.
You're not there yet.
- And count it! Whoo! How good did this thing look out there? - This is a good car for life because I was nearly dead by the time you finished this course.
- He hit the obstacle there and he ran over a trash can.
So that's a 20-second penalty there.
On the written test, he got 'em all right.
- Whoo! - Of course he did.
- So what was my time? - Without the penalties, you did it in 2:46.
- Seriously? - And with the 20-second penalties, you're still losing to me.
There's a lot of valuable life lessons for young people in this challenge.
One: Cadillacs handle better than creeper vans, and two: you can still win at life even if you suck at tests.
- Since you're in such a generous mood, why don't you ride with me on the next one here? - All right.
- Yeah.
Prepare to strap into the orange rocket.
- Is that a euphemism? - You old guys ready? - Hold on just a second.
- Can you hold it? - Three, two - No, don't start! - One, go! I'm getting another car.
Let's get another car.
Get one of these cars back here.
Come on.
- Let's get another car? - Yeah.
- I have to write this down.
- Just get another car.
- I can't get another car.
- That car's got a flat tire! - Not driving that either.
- Is he seriously? - Cop car.
I'm driving a cop car.
There's not even a damn windshield.
I'm not driving that one.
- What's he doing? - Hey, that car's part of the obstacle course! - Get in! - Usually if your car won't start, you fail the test.
But the little fella is thinking outside the box, so let's go with it.
Very impressive, Foust, but you're disqualified.
- Come on! - Okay.
You can get out now.
So, gentlemen, after all the math--let's see, 4, carry the 1-- l win.
- There's no way that winning streak's gonna continue.
I'm sorry.
- Okay.
Let's see.
What's next? - Well, I'm gonna get some starting fluid.
That's what's next for me.
- You know what? That'll do it.
- Your car for life wasn't even a car for ten minutes.
- See you later! See you later! - If I was you, I'd call your crew chief.
- Coming up, we face a midlife crisis - Whoo! Oh! - And true to form, trade up for younger models.
- Whoo! Replaces their car about every ten years, and as our needs change, so do our vehicles.
But we're searching for a car versatile enough to handle every stage of life from birth to death.
So we each picked a car that was released the year we were born.
Tanner's still trying to get his Datsun to take its first baby steps, while Adam and I head to our next stop in life's journey.
I can't believe you drove so well in reverse in something that is literally two blocks long.
- You know, I took my road test in a Coupe de Ville that my father turned into a plumbing truck.
We had a '70 Coupe de Ville and my mother flicked a cigarette out the window that burnt out the back seat.
We yanked out the back seat and Pop and I laid lengths of pipe from the back of the trunk through the front seats and put all the tools around it.
That's the car l took my road test in.
And he told me, "Don't slam on the brakes 'cause the torch is gonna hit you in the back of the head.
" I passed.
- Now, when I turned 16, my first car was an '81 Volkswagen Rabbit pickup, which I loved and I drove the wheels off, and when it blew up, that's when I got my mom's '87 Chevy Astro Van, which I thought was the coolest.
So vans, to me, have always been cool, and that's 'cause vans are people-movers, and if you can take people with you, you can have fun anywhere you go.
I mean, a two-seater car is just you and one other person.
Tanner didn't think about that.
- A car for life with Rut? He's got three daughters.
He's gonna hang around a schoolyard in a van? Yeah, that's nice.
That's not gonna get him arrested quick.
- Hi.
Hi, how are you? I can't lie, I'm getting a couple weird looks.
The next test for our cars for life is the transition to parenthood.
So we're meeting at a romantic overlook where the seeds of fatherhood may have been planted.
Here we find the most important passengers in life's journey waiting for us.
I'll take the redhead here.
I love Ginger.
- All right.
I'll take Mary Ann, and we'll give Mrs.
Howell to the little fella.
- Oh, that's perfect.
"Lovey.
" - "Lovey.
" - I've been married for 12 years and have 3 little girls, so I'm familiar with this scenario.
Our pregnant wives are in labor and we have 30 minutes to drive them to a hospital across town, but on the way we have to stop and pick up some essentials like diapers and a maternity bra.
Well, you made it! - That soon? - Ahh! No problem.
Just in case finding diapers and a maternity bra is too easy, there's another twist.
Babies are born whether you're ready or not, and to simulate that, each car has a giant jar of baby food wired to explode after 30 minutes.
When it's about to blow, the beeping will start speeding up.
- 30 minutes? - Yeah.
- Are you kidding me? This is a cakewalk.
I've got three kids.
I've done this three times.
- You've never done it in a creepy van with a ticking wife that's gonna explode.
- Okay, couple quick questions.
- Yes.
- Maternity bra? - Yeah.
- Like, does that have, like, a Velcro thing? - It's like a parachute for, you know - I don't really have a lot of luggage space in the Z here.
You pack a little heavy, do ya? - Which makes it a lousy choice, but at least it doesn't run.
Good luck to you.
- Everybody ready? Go.
- Get out of my way.
My wife's having a baby.
- Come here.
There you go.
- Nice and comfy.
Ahh! - Oh, did you rip her hair off? - There you go.
- See you, losers! - Mother of pearl.
Just stay right there, young lady.
- I got this.
These guys don't have a chance.
I have done this routine before.
But I do not feel good about this baby bomb in the back here.
I mean, that beeping is driving me crazy.
This thing's doing great.
The biggest thing it's got going against it is its total lack of air conditioning.
It is like driving an oven.
I am so hot in here.
I can't imagine how she's doing.
I know.
Do you need anything? God.
Real pretty.
Did I mention you'll be in the middle of rush hour traffic? That's great.
That--hey, that's a nice Chevy Malibu SS wagon.
Hell ye--I'm sorry.
I'm going.
I'm going, honey.
- I think I just found my problem.
A spark plug that is grounding out and melting right through the insulation.
- I'm going to get you all the stuff you need.
- Do you have some diapers? - I need diapers.
- Diaper that way.
- Here? Aha! - Maternity bra? Wowsers.
- Thank you.
- We each bought a vehicle we think is perfect for every stage of life.
This challenge represents the epic transition to parenthood, so we're racing our pregnant wives to the hospital - Real pretty.
- With a baby food time bomb set to explode - Let's go! - If we don't make it.
[device beeping and engine grinding.]
And I can't even get my car started.
Come on, baby.
You got to run.
That does not sound good.
Oh, no! No, no! Oh! - We're almost home, honey.
- I don't see Tanner anywhere.
Oh, this is awesome! This is it! We made it! Whoo! Oh, gosh! Even though I'm covered in baby food, me and my shaggin' wagon still won this challenge.
Just like I said we would.
Nice of you to join us.
- Congratulations.
- But Tanner's Datsun is such a terrible choice, he's resorting to a car service to get what's left of his wife to the hospital.
- This is why he can't make a relationship last.
You sure know how to treat a lady, Foust.
- What happened to you? - 30 minutes was up pretty quick.
- Where's the Z? - It's going through a little bit of a midlife crisis right now, so you know what? I got a guy.
Gonna do-- give it a little nip and tuck, make a couple mods to it, bring it back to life good as new.
- No matter what life throws at it, it can't handle.
Congratulations.
Let's go.
- They're gonna take great care of you here.
Watch out for that.
Tanner's Datsun really should be disqualified, but life's about second chances, so we're letting him get it fixed.
Besides, for the next challenge, he won't need it.
After parenthood makes us feel old and tired, some people try to buy back their youth in the next stage of life-- the midlife crisis.
This is a time when people look for younger, more exciting models.
So what's the best car for life if you picked one today? Thank you.
- To find out, we leave our old cars behind and hitch a ride to the desert to test three of the newest high-horsepower four-door super sedans in the perfect midlife crisis color red.
Oh, now this is more like it.
- Let me guess.
Let me guess, Adam.
You brought a Cadillac? - Not just any Cadillac, my friend.
The 2016 CTS-V.
Just like my '66 Caddy, it allows me to cruise through life in total comfort.
Except this one does it at high velocity.
Top speed? 200 miles an hour.
Color heads-up display, digital instruments, leather everything, room for your friends, all for 85 grand.
Power and style--it's all the car you're gonna need.
- Wow.
- Don't touch it.
- I mean, if you're talking about all the car you need, then it's the 2015 Dodge Charger Hellcat! They we're gonna call it "Hell yeah" - Cat.
- "Cat," But they couldn't-- couldn't get the name.
Flat out it will also go over 200 miles an hour, and if you just keep on driving with your foot down, the 707-horsepower 6.
2-liter supercharged V8 Will drain the gas tank in 13 minutes.
That sounds like a Hellcat of a good time.
- Wait a minute.
I'm confused.
If you brought the Hellcat and I brought the Cadillac, that means you brought that.
- That is the future.
Gentlemen, you brought the only two American cars with over 640 horsepower, so I had to step up the game.
The most powerful car here.
This is the Tesla P90D, with 762 horsepower.
Any car that lasts a lifetime must be cutting edge today.
The Tesla P90D is so technologically advanced, its autopilot system not only keeps it centered in its lane, it can also change lanes.
All-wheel drive, 0 to 60 in 2.
8 seconds, making it the fastest four-door sedan in the world.
You guys brought flip phones.
This is an iPhone.
It doesn't even have buttons.
It updates itself while it's sitting in your garage.
This is the future.
If you're gonna have a car for life, this is the car that can stand the test of time.
- There's got to be a runway or something around here.
We need to go have some fun.
- Well, we could use the entry road in here.
That's pretty straight.
- Mount up.
- We're heading to a local airport to give these cars room to run, but on a road like this, why wait? - Oh! This thing is so fast! - Okay, now watch this.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, that thing is fast! - Let's go - It is bad fast.
- That was impressive.
- Whoo! That was insane.
Okay, this is how I see it.
We got at least 8,000 feet here.
We don't need that.
I figure we'd do a 0 to 100 to 0, you know, to really get the acceleration out of these things.
- Oh, don't you think you'd rather do like a top speed test? Like a who can go the fastest ever? - Gentlemen, we have a runway for Christ's sake.
Let's just have a drag race.
You know, a quarter of a mile? - Well, I mean, top speed isn't exactly what this car's about.
I mean, 155-- it's limited to that.
You know, 0 to 100, that's what people do.
It's real-world.
- I'm having trouble hearing you over this 707 horsepower.
- Okay, so 0 to 100 it is, yeah? - Guys, I'm telling you, l think a top speed run, just whoever goes the fastest, they should be the winner.
- Oh, for God's sake.
Gentlemen, we're on a dragway.
You ready? - Hold on.
Let me just - What is he doing? - I just wanted to make sure my tires are nice and warm before we go--hold on.
It's hard on the gas until marker three, where we agree to hit the brakes or overshoot the runway and end up in the desert.
First one there wins.
Okay, I'm ready over here.
- Three, two One.
Go! That can handle every stage of life from birth to death.
- Correct.
- After completing a driver's license exam and entering parenthood - We made it! Whoo! Oh! - We're now having a midlife crisis, so we traded our birth-year cars for new models with enough room for the family and enough horsepower to be dangerous.
Three, two, one Go! - Oh, that Tesla's quick off the line.
- 0 to 60 in 2.
8 seconds.
There's 110--the acceleration is just a constant flow.
Quarter mile, 10.
9 seconds.
Whoo! - 135.
That's 140.
Oh, she's getting light.
- It's still pulling! Oh! The Caddy is still pulling! 136! - That's 145! I'm almost at max! Speedometer just turned red! That's 150! My max is 155 and there it is.
- Where is it? Oh, damn.
- 155.
Oh, it's pulling on the Tesla! - Oh, here comes the Hellcat.
Where's our braking point? - 167! - Oh, no! No! No! - 173! 175! - We slow down at marker three and Rut begins his gloating, right on schedule.
- That was awesome! Did you see that? - Oh, there's not gonna be no living with you now.
- Whoo! During a midlife crisis, you want a car that makes you feel alive and young again, maybe even something a little bit dangerous, and the Hellcat's all of that.
Hell yeah.
I went the fastest.
Obviously, I'm the winner.
- Well, I'm limited to 155 miles an hour in the Tesla.
I just haven't, you know, pulled that fuse.
I need to get some Russian hacker to disable it, I guess.
- Definitely think this is a car that I could drive for life.
I mean, imagine if my kids were late to school, we'd just take the Hellcat! - With a flight coming in, we head off the runway and on to our next test of these high-horsepower super sedans.
- The creepiest thing about driving this car is that if you do want to be detached from the driving itself, all you do is double-tap this wand and my hands are off the wheel.
I am--I'm literally on autopilot.
All I know, guys, is I haven't touched the wheel in the last five minutes.
Even changing lanes, all I do is turn a signal on and it changes lanes for me.
- So you're saying right now you're not touching the wheel? - No.
The Tesla's autopilot system is more sophisticated than most commercial airplanes or the rockets that took men to the moon.
12 ultrasonic sensors are positioned around the front and back of the car, along with a radar sensor, forward-facing camera, and a bunch of other technology l don't understand.
All of this is connected to servos and controllers that allow the car to steer and brake by itself.
It's a little scary in a Skynet kind of way.
I think it's depressing me a little bit that I'm just sitting here a passenger in the car I'm supposed to be driving.
- Can I get in front of you and slam on the brakes and we see what happens? - Come on around.
Get on over.
Out the window! - I want to see if it works.
Get in front of me and hit the brakes.
- Okay, Rut.
Three, two, one, brake.
- Are you serious? It slows down? - Yeah.
Now accelerate.
It's chasing you.
- Go.
- Autopilot is great, but if you only have one car for life, sooner or later you'll need to tow something.
So we're headed to the perfect place to test pulling power-- America's largest Caterpillar yard.
- Gentlemen, if you're gonna have a car for life, eventually you're gonna have to tow something, and the Caddy's perfect for that.
- What are you talking about? Clearly the Hellcat is what you could tow anything with.
A boat, a car trailer, an RV.
- I bet you my Caddy can tow your Hellcat.
- Are you kidding me? - There's only one way to settle Adam and Rut's pissing match.
Gentlemen, welcome to the gladiator tug-of-war.
And because the Tesla doesn't have a tow hook, I'm the referee.
Okay, gentlemen.
Are you ready? - Ready.
- Ready.
- Oh, boy.
I'm gonna drive this thing right to Hellcat.
- In three two-- ah, hold on just a second.
This reminds me, actually, of a story - Just go.
- When I was in elementary school.
Okay, all right.
Ready, here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go! - Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Keep pulling.
- Come on, baby.
There it is.
There it is.
- It's mayhem! It's mayhem! - This can't be good for you at all.
Come on.
- Oh, my gosh! For each stage of life, but we're searching for a car versatile enough to last you from birth to death.
After testing cars from our birth year, we're now driving the perfect midlife crisis super sedan, and using all that horsepower for the ultimate tug-of-war towing test.
- Come on.
Come on.
I got something.
I got some-- I'm pulling him.
- Here? Oh, there it is.
- Oh, Adam's winning! - Come on, baby.
Come on.
- I think I'm pulling him.
- Adam, you're halfway there! - Oh! Oh, no way! - It's pulling him! It's pulling him! Aah, yes! - Oh, no! Oh, the Cadillac is gonna take it! It's all over! It's all over! The Cadillac wins! Unbelievable! That was incredible.
- What the Hellcat, man? - It doesn't make any sense, man.
I've got more power, and then-- - And then what? And then all of a sudden you lost.
I pulled it further than you.
I pulled you off the mark.
I win.
- Oh, Hellcat.
He's right.
- You guys are ridiculous.
I think the sun is getting to you.
I'm gonna go drive the Tesla around.
- Come on, Rut.
Let's go tear something up.
- For Rut and Adam, the raw horsepower of the Hellcat and CTS-V is enough to be exciting.
But I'm a professional racer, and I like to drive sideways.
So my standards are a little bit different.
My car for life has to drift.
Let's see if I can't throw this thing into fun here.
It knows.
It knows what I want to do.
Yes, I want to be a jerk.
I want to slide you around, damn it.
Let me have some fun.
Let's see if I can't trick this thing.
Good God.
I mean, it's an amazing car.
Don't get me wrong.
It's a problem with the traction control system that is literally too good.
The Tesla has 762 horsepower, but the traction control won't turn off and won't let me drift, which is perfect for 99.
9% of the population, but a little too smart for me.
So I'm trading places with Rut in the Hellcat.
- Whoa.
Whoa.
Come on, man.
There it is.
Yeah, feel that? That's 707 horsepower.
- Yeah, I feel it.
You know, this thing was made to drift.
I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty awesome.
- It is, right? - Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! It's hard to believe anybody can just go and buy this thing.
- Right? What are you doing? Watch out! The bucket! The bucket! Oh, damn it.
both: Aah! - Gosh! What are you doing? Did you see that bucket? Why do you always have to drive like that? Where's Adam? - I don't know.
- Cadillac's here.
- Oh, no.
- Please, no.
- It's good, yep.
That looks good there.
That's good.
- Perfect.
Wow.
- If he gets out and says, "Huh?"-- If he doesn't, I'll give you $20.
- Huh? - Did you find the keys in that? - Yeah.
Someone left them in there.
It's fun.
You should get one.
- I got to tell you, someone loves the Hellcat.
- I got some stuff out of my system.
- So let me get this straight.
You like driving again? - Well, I mean, I still think Tesla's the best car for life.
If you're planning on growing up, that's the machine to have.
- When do you plan on doing that? - Well, if you're gonna be a kid your whole life, then it's Hell-yeah-cat.
- And that means, since you're like a 12-year-old, you like this better.
- I mean, if I was gonna drive out of here in a smoky burnout, I'd probably take the Hellcat.
- Hell-yeah-cat! That would make that two against one.
That would make this the best car for life.
- No, it wouldn't.
And you're both wrong.
- All I know is all that beating around in this thing is making me miss the 240.
I'm gonna thrash that thing.
- Right? And this thing's cool, but it doesn't have any shag carpet like the van.
- That's good.
- Let's roll out.
- So there's nothing to collect evidence, you serial killer.
- These three American super sedans are all incredible, but if you had to buy a car for life today, it seems to me that the raw power of the Hellcat is the one to get, but we'll never agree.
Why'd you move the seat up so much? You're short.
- We tested these four-door monsters in a drag race, in a tug-of-war, and in a dirt lot.
But which is the fastest around the track? To find out, we're giving the keys to our anonymous racing driver while we head back to pick up our cars for life.
We don't know his identity.
We only know he's The Stig.
The massive torque of the Tesla's electric motors launches it off the line first.
0 to 60 in just 2.
8 seconds.
It's in the lead as they hit the first corner.
At the end of the straight it's dead even.
But in the chicane, the lighter Cadillac looks to carve the corners more precisely.
On the backside S turns, the more agile Cadillac pulls ahead again.
In the switchback, the Hellcat starts to slide, but The Stig gets it back.
So in our highly scientific real-world test, the Hellcat was the best car for life, but in the hands of The Stig, the Cadillac is fastest around the track.
Coming up, the final test of our cars for life as The Stig fills in for death itself and comes knocking at our door.
Oh, no! For life that's versatile enough to take us from birth to death.
We're back in California reunited with the cars from our birth year: Rut's creepy 1980 Dodge Tradesman, Tanner's busted '73 240Z, and my '66 Caddy Fleetwood.
The final test proves once and for all which one is the best car for life.
- This looks like fun.
- Finally we get to do some dirt tracking.
- We're at Kern County Raceway for the final chapter everyone faces at the end of their life.
- Is that The Stig in a hearse? - That is The Stig in a hearse.
- This is kind of always how I imagined I'd go.
Ooh - Ooh, that smell.
- That smell.
Both: Can't you smell that smell? - The rules are simple.
We get a one-minute head start on The Stig's deathmobile, then he chases us down and tries to knock us off the track.
The last man standing is the only one who cheats death.
We don't have to be faster than The Stig.
Just got to be faster than the guy behind you.
- I'm just saying, this thing's fast.
- Yeah, that'll be really cool.
I mean, especially 'cause you've had no problems with it whatsoever and it seems to run great.
- Very reliable.
- As long as I get a little bit of fuel in that carburetor, it fires right up.
Let's do it.
- It's been nice knowing you guys.
- Good-bye.
I don't have a harness.
I only have this lap belt.
Good news is the body bends in half, and I have a helmet.
So pretty much all you need.
- This is gonna be fun, but I am not getting taken down by The Stig first.
- Okay, here's the thing.
I got speed on them.
If I can just get this damn thing started.
- You boys ready? - Let's do it! - Here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Come on! - The van is out front! Oh, that's slick.
- Where's Tanner? - Come on! There it goes.
Here I come, boys! - Oh! - Oh, come on! - Yeah! - Hey, don't try and hit me! - She's rolling strong! That's what I'm talking--uh-oh.
Oh, no.
I'm losing power.
- Oh, something's wrong with Tanner's car.
- No! No! - Oh, we got Tanner on the inside! - No! You bastard! No! - No! - Oh, I think The Stig's gonna catch Tanner.
- No, Stig! No! Oh, no! Aah! Damn it! - Come on.
Come on, baby.
- Oh, Adam makes a move! He takes him on the low side! - Oh, he's running me off! Come on, man! - Come on, Rut! I got you! - Oh, no! This is getting ugly.
- You guys better hurry.
Death is right behind ya.
- Oh, come on.
Stig is right on me.
Come on, Adam.
Stig's on me! - No, no, you are not getting in front of me.
- Oh, Adam is blocking him.
Rut can't get around.
- You're slowing me down! Get out of the way! - Oh, Rut is rammed! Yeah! - What was that? Damn it! I've cheated death! Oh, did you see that? Gentlemen, behold.
The car for life.
It won everything.
Okay, it didn't win everything.
It won enough.
- I'll say this.
The van may not have done great on a dirt track--that's not what it was built for.
It was built for having a great time in life, and I had a great time driving it.
But I would much rather drive that Hellcat, so - Life is not all just about survival.
It's about having some damn fun, right? - We did.
Did you see us out there? How much fun we had? Whoo-whee! - Yeah.
It was great.
We were sideways.
I heard you screaming.
- Yeah, I saw you.
I saw you drifto kings out there ripping it.
- Yeah.
- I'm starting this damn thing.
Here's my radio.
- I'll bet you are.
I'm gonna take a minute and go look for a Hellcat.
- Have fun.
I'll be in my car for life.
- Hey, I got a fridge in here.
It's loaded with beers and stuff if you want to party later.
See you, bro.
- Come on! Clear! You can do it this time.
This time.
Feel the energy.
- That's pretty awesome.
- It is, right? - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Whoa.
Come on, man.
What are you doing? Watch out! The bucket! The bucket! Oh, damn it.
Both: Aah! - Life is a journey.
You're born You grow up and then you die.
Now, the typical American owns about eight vehicles during their lifetime, but what if you could only own one vehicle for your entire life from birth to death? What is the best vehicle that is versatile enough to carry you through every one of life's milestones? To find out, we each had to purchase a vehicle released the year we were born.
We're meeting at the Port of Los Angeles to pick up our rides and begin life's journey.
Behold, gentlemen.
The car for the rest of your life.
- Are you kidding me? - Look at all that beauty, would you? This might be the coolest thing I've ever picked.
- Remember that from the movies? Yeah, I do.
Oh, there it is.
- Gentlemen, feast your eyes.
- On what? - 1973 Datsun 240Z.
I chose the Datsun 240Z because I don't want to grow old.
In this, I can live life in the fast lane like an eternal teenager.
When it came out, it had a top speed of 125 miles an hour, and can do 0 to 60 in 8 seconds.
Not bad in 1973.
Plus, this car has a personal connection for me.
My mom crashed in one just like this, and I was in the back.
- That explains a lot.
- I mean, this brings back memories, and I got to say, it is an awesome machine that you could have for life.
- If you wanted something for life, you'd want it to be an all-occasions vehicle.
That's what this shaggin' wagon is.
It's the 1980 Dodge Tradesman.
That's right.
I chose this van because it's great-looking and versatile.
Variety is the spice of life, and the Tradesman was sold as a universal work van, a camper, and even an ambulance.
Plus, this generation of van passed the test of time.
Dodge built it from 1979 all the way until 1993.
- Have you put a black light in that thing, by the way? - No way.
- Gentlemen, you're missing the point.
When you grow up-- and hopefully one day it'll happen to you-- you should drive a man's car.
That's what this is.
A 1966 Fleetwood, my friend.
The deluxe Brougham version came with a padded vinyl roof, foot rests, and even a lighted writing table in the rear seat, which is why it is the perfect choice.
I want to go through life in comfort and style.
Pimpin', baby.
A 7-liter, big-block, rolling slab of Detroit steel.
Built for life.
- I mean, we obviously picked vehicles from the year we were born, but that's '66 and that's '73.
You guys are old.
Are you going first? - I'll go first.
- You sure you don't need a nap or, like, a fiber pill or anything? - That's good.
Do you need something like, I don't know, an alibi? - Tanner's car is fun if you're young, and Adam's car is comfortable if you're old.
But we're looking for one car that best fits every stage of life.
To test our choices, we're starting with everyone's first automotive milestone: The driver's license exam.
To test our cars' acceleration, braking, and cornering, we're driving an obstacle course that recreates a typical driver's license road test, but with our own unique spin.
- Okay.
Good.
- Close it.
We'll start in reverse and we'll slalom around parked cars and into a tight parking spot.
Then we'll shift into drive, accelerate around a turn, come to a complete stop, make multiple lane changes, negotiate typical residential hazards, and end by parallel parking.
Over 50% of people fail their driver's license exam the first time, and none of us have taken it in over 20 years.
So while we navigate the course, we'll also be asked questions from an actual DMV exam.
- The instructor comes in, puts down the visor.
It starts raining cash.
Then you say, "Oh, is that yours?" If he says, "Yes," Puts it in his pocket, you're home free.
If he says, "No," you say, "Ah! It's my dad's car.
It must be his.
" And you got plausible deniability.
- Enjoyed your story.
Are you ready? - So it's gonna be like that, huh? - Yeah.
The fastest time wins but 10 seconds is added for every wrong answer.
- Don't mind me.
I'm gonna offer a few distractions we experienced in high school.
You remember dodgeball, right? - Ready? Go.
- Go.
- Here we go.
When parking your vehicle parallel to the curb on a level street, "A," your front wheels must be turned towards the street, "B," your wheels must be within-- - He's throwing balls at my car! - Or "C," one of your rear wheels must touch the curb.
- I'm sorry.
Could you repeat the question? - No.
I cannot.
When you're driving in fog, you should use your "A," fog lights only, "B," high beams, "C," low beams.
- Low beams.
- Correct.
You just sold your vehicle.
You must notify the DMV within "A," 5, "B," 10, or "C," 15 days.
- Five days.
- Correct.
Oh! Okay.
Unless otherwise posted, the speed limit--okay.
- That was good.
- In a residential area is "A," 20, "B," 25, "C," 30 miles per hour.
- 20.
- Aha, that was incorrect.
Five--when parking uphill on a two-way street with no curb, front wheels should be-- - Listen, I mean to do this.
- Oh! - Don't mark it down.
- Oh! He's trying to kill me now! - That's too much.
- He's annoying me.
- Turn to the left, turn to the right, or parallel with the pavement, which one is it? Aah! - Time.
- And stop the clock.
- He got two of the five correct.
- So 10 seconds per question.
That's 30 seconds.
- What? - Obstacle count? - I'll be honest, I lost count after about the fifth one.
- Those two, that's it.
This one I meant to do 'cause you annoy me.
- We'll call it two.
So that's 50 seconds added on to 1:48.
- What? - That's 2:38 if my math is correct.
- I'm going next and I'm never riding with you again.
- I did bring some wet naps.
Do you have any idea what goes on in these vans? - Just hit the bell.
- Don't do it yet.
I've got to get rid of-- - All right.
Go! - Get, like, 90% of the bacteria out of here.
To the Mystery Machine, Scoob.
- You should begin to use your turn signal, "A," at least 50 feet before the turn - Okay.
- "B," when you reach the intersection-- You're going so slow-- or "C," at least 100 feet.
- Uh, I think at least 100 feet.
- Annoyingly, that's correct.
Three--you're getting ready to make a right turn.
You should, "A," signal and turn immediately, "B," stop, "C," slow down or stop if necessary and then make the turn.
- C.
- Correct again.
- Thank you.
Hold on.
She's got-- - She's gonna tip over! - She's got a little power.
- It's not stable! Large trucks turning into the street--oh! You're going head-on to it! - You got to be kidding me! - May complete their turn in either left or right lane, "B," often have to use part of the left lane to complete the turn, "C," must stay in the right lane at all times, "D," all of the above.
- B.
- Damn it! You got every one right.
- Thank you.
I'm an excellent driver.
- And you just ran into the police car.
You're not there yet.
- And count it! Whoo! How good did this thing look out there? - This is a good car for life because I was nearly dead by the time you finished this course.
- He hit the obstacle there and he ran over a trash can.
So that's a 20-second penalty there.
On the written test, he got 'em all right.
- Whoo! - Of course he did.
- So what was my time? - Without the penalties, you did it in 2:46.
- Seriously? - And with the 20-second penalties, you're still losing to me.
There's a lot of valuable life lessons for young people in this challenge.
One: Cadillacs handle better than creeper vans, and two: you can still win at life even if you suck at tests.
- Since you're in such a generous mood, why don't you ride with me on the next one here? - All right.
- Yeah.
Prepare to strap into the orange rocket.
- Is that a euphemism? - You old guys ready? - Hold on just a second.
- Can you hold it? - Three, two - No, don't start! - One, go! I'm getting another car.
Let's get another car.
Get one of these cars back here.
Come on.
- Let's get another car? - Yeah.
- I have to write this down.
- Just get another car.
- I can't get another car.
- That car's got a flat tire! - Not driving that either.
- Is he seriously? - Cop car.
I'm driving a cop car.
There's not even a damn windshield.
I'm not driving that one.
- What's he doing? - Hey, that car's part of the obstacle course! - Get in! - Usually if your car won't start, you fail the test.
But the little fella is thinking outside the box, so let's go with it.
Very impressive, Foust, but you're disqualified.
- Come on! - Okay.
You can get out now.
So, gentlemen, after all the math--let's see, 4, carry the 1-- l win.
- There's no way that winning streak's gonna continue.
I'm sorry.
- Okay.
Let's see.
What's next? - Well, I'm gonna get some starting fluid.
That's what's next for me.
- You know what? That'll do it.
- Your car for life wasn't even a car for ten minutes.
- See you later! See you later! - If I was you, I'd call your crew chief.
- Coming up, we face a midlife crisis - Whoo! Oh! - And true to form, trade up for younger models.
- Whoo! Replaces their car about every ten years, and as our needs change, so do our vehicles.
But we're searching for a car versatile enough to handle every stage of life from birth to death.
So we each picked a car that was released the year we were born.
Tanner's still trying to get his Datsun to take its first baby steps, while Adam and I head to our next stop in life's journey.
I can't believe you drove so well in reverse in something that is literally two blocks long.
- You know, I took my road test in a Coupe de Ville that my father turned into a plumbing truck.
We had a '70 Coupe de Ville and my mother flicked a cigarette out the window that burnt out the back seat.
We yanked out the back seat and Pop and I laid lengths of pipe from the back of the trunk through the front seats and put all the tools around it.
That's the car l took my road test in.
And he told me, "Don't slam on the brakes 'cause the torch is gonna hit you in the back of the head.
" I passed.
- Now, when I turned 16, my first car was an '81 Volkswagen Rabbit pickup, which I loved and I drove the wheels off, and when it blew up, that's when I got my mom's '87 Chevy Astro Van, which I thought was the coolest.
So vans, to me, have always been cool, and that's 'cause vans are people-movers, and if you can take people with you, you can have fun anywhere you go.
I mean, a two-seater car is just you and one other person.
Tanner didn't think about that.
- A car for life with Rut? He's got three daughters.
He's gonna hang around a schoolyard in a van? Yeah, that's nice.
That's not gonna get him arrested quick.
- Hi.
Hi, how are you? I can't lie, I'm getting a couple weird looks.
The next test for our cars for life is the transition to parenthood.
So we're meeting at a romantic overlook where the seeds of fatherhood may have been planted.
Here we find the most important passengers in life's journey waiting for us.
I'll take the redhead here.
I love Ginger.
- All right.
I'll take Mary Ann, and we'll give Mrs.
Howell to the little fella.
- Oh, that's perfect.
"Lovey.
" - "Lovey.
" - I've been married for 12 years and have 3 little girls, so I'm familiar with this scenario.
Our pregnant wives are in labor and we have 30 minutes to drive them to a hospital across town, but on the way we have to stop and pick up some essentials like diapers and a maternity bra.
Well, you made it! - That soon? - Ahh! No problem.
Just in case finding diapers and a maternity bra is too easy, there's another twist.
Babies are born whether you're ready or not, and to simulate that, each car has a giant jar of baby food wired to explode after 30 minutes.
When it's about to blow, the beeping will start speeding up.
- 30 minutes? - Yeah.
- Are you kidding me? This is a cakewalk.
I've got three kids.
I've done this three times.
- You've never done it in a creepy van with a ticking wife that's gonna explode.
- Okay, couple quick questions.
- Yes.
- Maternity bra? - Yeah.
- Like, does that have, like, a Velcro thing? - It's like a parachute for, you know - I don't really have a lot of luggage space in the Z here.
You pack a little heavy, do ya? - Which makes it a lousy choice, but at least it doesn't run.
Good luck to you.
- Everybody ready? Go.
- Get out of my way.
My wife's having a baby.
- Come here.
There you go.
- Nice and comfy.
Ahh! - Oh, did you rip her hair off? - There you go.
- See you, losers! - Mother of pearl.
Just stay right there, young lady.
- I got this.
These guys don't have a chance.
I have done this routine before.
But I do not feel good about this baby bomb in the back here.
I mean, that beeping is driving me crazy.
This thing's doing great.
The biggest thing it's got going against it is its total lack of air conditioning.
It is like driving an oven.
I am so hot in here.
I can't imagine how she's doing.
I know.
Do you need anything? God.
Real pretty.
Did I mention you'll be in the middle of rush hour traffic? That's great.
That--hey, that's a nice Chevy Malibu SS wagon.
Hell ye--I'm sorry.
I'm going.
I'm going, honey.
- I think I just found my problem.
A spark plug that is grounding out and melting right through the insulation.
- I'm going to get you all the stuff you need.
- Do you have some diapers? - I need diapers.
- Diaper that way.
- Here? Aha! - Maternity bra? Wowsers.
- Thank you.
- We each bought a vehicle we think is perfect for every stage of life.
This challenge represents the epic transition to parenthood, so we're racing our pregnant wives to the hospital - Real pretty.
- With a baby food time bomb set to explode - Let's go! - If we don't make it.
[device beeping and engine grinding.]
And I can't even get my car started.
Come on, baby.
You got to run.
That does not sound good.
Oh, no! No, no! Oh! - We're almost home, honey.
- I don't see Tanner anywhere.
Oh, this is awesome! This is it! We made it! Whoo! Oh, gosh! Even though I'm covered in baby food, me and my shaggin' wagon still won this challenge.
Just like I said we would.
Nice of you to join us.
- Congratulations.
- But Tanner's Datsun is such a terrible choice, he's resorting to a car service to get what's left of his wife to the hospital.
- This is why he can't make a relationship last.
You sure know how to treat a lady, Foust.
- What happened to you? - 30 minutes was up pretty quick.
- Where's the Z? - It's going through a little bit of a midlife crisis right now, so you know what? I got a guy.
Gonna do-- give it a little nip and tuck, make a couple mods to it, bring it back to life good as new.
- No matter what life throws at it, it can't handle.
Congratulations.
Let's go.
- They're gonna take great care of you here.
Watch out for that.
Tanner's Datsun really should be disqualified, but life's about second chances, so we're letting him get it fixed.
Besides, for the next challenge, he won't need it.
After parenthood makes us feel old and tired, some people try to buy back their youth in the next stage of life-- the midlife crisis.
This is a time when people look for younger, more exciting models.
So what's the best car for life if you picked one today? Thank you.
- To find out, we leave our old cars behind and hitch a ride to the desert to test three of the newest high-horsepower four-door super sedans in the perfect midlife crisis color red.
Oh, now this is more like it.
- Let me guess.
Let me guess, Adam.
You brought a Cadillac? - Not just any Cadillac, my friend.
The 2016 CTS-V.
Just like my '66 Caddy, it allows me to cruise through life in total comfort.
Except this one does it at high velocity.
Top speed? 200 miles an hour.
Color heads-up display, digital instruments, leather everything, room for your friends, all for 85 grand.
Power and style--it's all the car you're gonna need.
- Wow.
- Don't touch it.
- I mean, if you're talking about all the car you need, then it's the 2015 Dodge Charger Hellcat! They we're gonna call it "Hell yeah" - Cat.
- "Cat," But they couldn't-- couldn't get the name.
Flat out it will also go over 200 miles an hour, and if you just keep on driving with your foot down, the 707-horsepower 6.
2-liter supercharged V8 Will drain the gas tank in 13 minutes.
That sounds like a Hellcat of a good time.
- Wait a minute.
I'm confused.
If you brought the Hellcat and I brought the Cadillac, that means you brought that.
- That is the future.
Gentlemen, you brought the only two American cars with over 640 horsepower, so I had to step up the game.
The most powerful car here.
This is the Tesla P90D, with 762 horsepower.
Any car that lasts a lifetime must be cutting edge today.
The Tesla P90D is so technologically advanced, its autopilot system not only keeps it centered in its lane, it can also change lanes.
All-wheel drive, 0 to 60 in 2.
8 seconds, making it the fastest four-door sedan in the world.
You guys brought flip phones.
This is an iPhone.
It doesn't even have buttons.
It updates itself while it's sitting in your garage.
This is the future.
If you're gonna have a car for life, this is the car that can stand the test of time.
- There's got to be a runway or something around here.
We need to go have some fun.
- Well, we could use the entry road in here.
That's pretty straight.
- Mount up.
- We're heading to a local airport to give these cars room to run, but on a road like this, why wait? - Oh! This thing is so fast! - Okay, now watch this.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, that thing is fast! - Let's go - It is bad fast.
- That was impressive.
- Whoo! That was insane.
Okay, this is how I see it.
We got at least 8,000 feet here.
We don't need that.
I figure we'd do a 0 to 100 to 0, you know, to really get the acceleration out of these things.
- Oh, don't you think you'd rather do like a top speed test? Like a who can go the fastest ever? - Gentlemen, we have a runway for Christ's sake.
Let's just have a drag race.
You know, a quarter of a mile? - Well, I mean, top speed isn't exactly what this car's about.
I mean, 155-- it's limited to that.
You know, 0 to 100, that's what people do.
It's real-world.
- I'm having trouble hearing you over this 707 horsepower.
- Okay, so 0 to 100 it is, yeah? - Guys, I'm telling you, l think a top speed run, just whoever goes the fastest, they should be the winner.
- Oh, for God's sake.
Gentlemen, we're on a dragway.
You ready? - Hold on.
Let me just - What is he doing? - I just wanted to make sure my tires are nice and warm before we go--hold on.
It's hard on the gas until marker three, where we agree to hit the brakes or overshoot the runway and end up in the desert.
First one there wins.
Okay, I'm ready over here.
- Three, two One.
Go! That can handle every stage of life from birth to death.
- Correct.
- After completing a driver's license exam and entering parenthood - We made it! Whoo! Oh! - We're now having a midlife crisis, so we traded our birth-year cars for new models with enough room for the family and enough horsepower to be dangerous.
Three, two, one Go! - Oh, that Tesla's quick off the line.
- 0 to 60 in 2.
8 seconds.
There's 110--the acceleration is just a constant flow.
Quarter mile, 10.
9 seconds.
Whoo! - 135.
That's 140.
Oh, she's getting light.
- It's still pulling! Oh! The Caddy is still pulling! 136! - That's 145! I'm almost at max! Speedometer just turned red! That's 150! My max is 155 and there it is.
- Where is it? Oh, damn.
- 155.
Oh, it's pulling on the Tesla! - Oh, here comes the Hellcat.
Where's our braking point? - 167! - Oh, no! No! No! - 173! 175! - We slow down at marker three and Rut begins his gloating, right on schedule.
- That was awesome! Did you see that? - Oh, there's not gonna be no living with you now.
- Whoo! During a midlife crisis, you want a car that makes you feel alive and young again, maybe even something a little bit dangerous, and the Hellcat's all of that.
Hell yeah.
I went the fastest.
Obviously, I'm the winner.
- Well, I'm limited to 155 miles an hour in the Tesla.
I just haven't, you know, pulled that fuse.
I need to get some Russian hacker to disable it, I guess.
- Definitely think this is a car that I could drive for life.
I mean, imagine if my kids were late to school, we'd just take the Hellcat! - With a flight coming in, we head off the runway and on to our next test of these high-horsepower super sedans.
- The creepiest thing about driving this car is that if you do want to be detached from the driving itself, all you do is double-tap this wand and my hands are off the wheel.
I am--I'm literally on autopilot.
All I know, guys, is I haven't touched the wheel in the last five minutes.
Even changing lanes, all I do is turn a signal on and it changes lanes for me.
- So you're saying right now you're not touching the wheel? - No.
The Tesla's autopilot system is more sophisticated than most commercial airplanes or the rockets that took men to the moon.
12 ultrasonic sensors are positioned around the front and back of the car, along with a radar sensor, forward-facing camera, and a bunch of other technology l don't understand.
All of this is connected to servos and controllers that allow the car to steer and brake by itself.
It's a little scary in a Skynet kind of way.
I think it's depressing me a little bit that I'm just sitting here a passenger in the car I'm supposed to be driving.
- Can I get in front of you and slam on the brakes and we see what happens? - Come on around.
Get on over.
Out the window! - I want to see if it works.
Get in front of me and hit the brakes.
- Okay, Rut.
Three, two, one, brake.
- Are you serious? It slows down? - Yeah.
Now accelerate.
It's chasing you.
- Go.
- Autopilot is great, but if you only have one car for life, sooner or later you'll need to tow something.
So we're headed to the perfect place to test pulling power-- America's largest Caterpillar yard.
- Gentlemen, if you're gonna have a car for life, eventually you're gonna have to tow something, and the Caddy's perfect for that.
- What are you talking about? Clearly the Hellcat is what you could tow anything with.
A boat, a car trailer, an RV.
- I bet you my Caddy can tow your Hellcat.
- Are you kidding me? - There's only one way to settle Adam and Rut's pissing match.
Gentlemen, welcome to the gladiator tug-of-war.
And because the Tesla doesn't have a tow hook, I'm the referee.
Okay, gentlemen.
Are you ready? - Ready.
- Ready.
- Oh, boy.
I'm gonna drive this thing right to Hellcat.
- In three two-- ah, hold on just a second.
This reminds me, actually, of a story - Just go.
- When I was in elementary school.
Okay, all right.
Ready, here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go! - Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Keep pulling.
- Come on, baby.
There it is.
There it is.
- It's mayhem! It's mayhem! - This can't be good for you at all.
Come on.
- Oh, my gosh! For each stage of life, but we're searching for a car versatile enough to last you from birth to death.
After testing cars from our birth year, we're now driving the perfect midlife crisis super sedan, and using all that horsepower for the ultimate tug-of-war towing test.
- Come on.
Come on.
I got something.
I got some-- I'm pulling him.
- Here? Oh, there it is.
- Oh, Adam's winning! - Come on, baby.
Come on.
- I think I'm pulling him.
- Adam, you're halfway there! - Oh! Oh, no way! - It's pulling him! It's pulling him! Aah, yes! - Oh, no! Oh, the Cadillac is gonna take it! It's all over! It's all over! The Cadillac wins! Unbelievable! That was incredible.
- What the Hellcat, man? - It doesn't make any sense, man.
I've got more power, and then-- - And then what? And then all of a sudden you lost.
I pulled it further than you.
I pulled you off the mark.
I win.
- Oh, Hellcat.
He's right.
- You guys are ridiculous.
I think the sun is getting to you.
I'm gonna go drive the Tesla around.
- Come on, Rut.
Let's go tear something up.
- For Rut and Adam, the raw horsepower of the Hellcat and CTS-V is enough to be exciting.
But I'm a professional racer, and I like to drive sideways.
So my standards are a little bit different.
My car for life has to drift.
Let's see if I can't throw this thing into fun here.
It knows.
It knows what I want to do.
Yes, I want to be a jerk.
I want to slide you around, damn it.
Let me have some fun.
Let's see if I can't trick this thing.
Good God.
I mean, it's an amazing car.
Don't get me wrong.
It's a problem with the traction control system that is literally too good.
The Tesla has 762 horsepower, but the traction control won't turn off and won't let me drift, which is perfect for 99.
9% of the population, but a little too smart for me.
So I'm trading places with Rut in the Hellcat.
- Whoa.
Whoa.
Come on, man.
There it is.
Yeah, feel that? That's 707 horsepower.
- Yeah, I feel it.
You know, this thing was made to drift.
I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty awesome.
- It is, right? - Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! It's hard to believe anybody can just go and buy this thing.
- Right? What are you doing? Watch out! The bucket! The bucket! Oh, damn it.
both: Aah! - Gosh! What are you doing? Did you see that bucket? Why do you always have to drive like that? Where's Adam? - I don't know.
- Cadillac's here.
- Oh, no.
- Please, no.
- It's good, yep.
That looks good there.
That's good.
- Perfect.
Wow.
- If he gets out and says, "Huh?"-- If he doesn't, I'll give you $20.
- Huh? - Did you find the keys in that? - Yeah.
Someone left them in there.
It's fun.
You should get one.
- I got to tell you, someone loves the Hellcat.
- I got some stuff out of my system.
- So let me get this straight.
You like driving again? - Well, I mean, I still think Tesla's the best car for life.
If you're planning on growing up, that's the machine to have.
- When do you plan on doing that? - Well, if you're gonna be a kid your whole life, then it's Hell-yeah-cat.
- And that means, since you're like a 12-year-old, you like this better.
- I mean, if I was gonna drive out of here in a smoky burnout, I'd probably take the Hellcat.
- Hell-yeah-cat! That would make that two against one.
That would make this the best car for life.
- No, it wouldn't.
And you're both wrong.
- All I know is all that beating around in this thing is making me miss the 240.
I'm gonna thrash that thing.
- Right? And this thing's cool, but it doesn't have any shag carpet like the van.
- That's good.
- Let's roll out.
- So there's nothing to collect evidence, you serial killer.
- These three American super sedans are all incredible, but if you had to buy a car for life today, it seems to me that the raw power of the Hellcat is the one to get, but we'll never agree.
Why'd you move the seat up so much? You're short.
- We tested these four-door monsters in a drag race, in a tug-of-war, and in a dirt lot.
But which is the fastest around the track? To find out, we're giving the keys to our anonymous racing driver while we head back to pick up our cars for life.
We don't know his identity.
We only know he's The Stig.
The massive torque of the Tesla's electric motors launches it off the line first.
0 to 60 in just 2.
8 seconds.
It's in the lead as they hit the first corner.
At the end of the straight it's dead even.
But in the chicane, the lighter Cadillac looks to carve the corners more precisely.
On the backside S turns, the more agile Cadillac pulls ahead again.
In the switchback, the Hellcat starts to slide, but The Stig gets it back.
So in our highly scientific real-world test, the Hellcat was the best car for life, but in the hands of The Stig, the Cadillac is fastest around the track.
Coming up, the final test of our cars for life as The Stig fills in for death itself and comes knocking at our door.
Oh, no! For life that's versatile enough to take us from birth to death.
We're back in California reunited with the cars from our birth year: Rut's creepy 1980 Dodge Tradesman, Tanner's busted '73 240Z, and my '66 Caddy Fleetwood.
The final test proves once and for all which one is the best car for life.
- This looks like fun.
- Finally we get to do some dirt tracking.
- We're at Kern County Raceway for the final chapter everyone faces at the end of their life.
- Is that The Stig in a hearse? - That is The Stig in a hearse.
- This is kind of always how I imagined I'd go.
Ooh - Ooh, that smell.
- That smell.
Both: Can't you smell that smell? - The rules are simple.
We get a one-minute head start on The Stig's deathmobile, then he chases us down and tries to knock us off the track.
The last man standing is the only one who cheats death.
We don't have to be faster than The Stig.
Just got to be faster than the guy behind you.
- I'm just saying, this thing's fast.
- Yeah, that'll be really cool.
I mean, especially 'cause you've had no problems with it whatsoever and it seems to run great.
- Very reliable.
- As long as I get a little bit of fuel in that carburetor, it fires right up.
Let's do it.
- It's been nice knowing you guys.
- Good-bye.
I don't have a harness.
I only have this lap belt.
Good news is the body bends in half, and I have a helmet.
So pretty much all you need.
- This is gonna be fun, but I am not getting taken down by The Stig first.
- Okay, here's the thing.
I got speed on them.
If I can just get this damn thing started.
- You boys ready? - Let's do it! - Here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Come on! - The van is out front! Oh, that's slick.
- Where's Tanner? - Come on! There it goes.
Here I come, boys! - Oh! - Oh, come on! - Yeah! - Hey, don't try and hit me! - She's rolling strong! That's what I'm talking--uh-oh.
Oh, no.
I'm losing power.
- Oh, something's wrong with Tanner's car.
- No! No! - Oh, we got Tanner on the inside! - No! You bastard! No! - No! - Oh, I think The Stig's gonna catch Tanner.
- No, Stig! No! Oh, no! Aah! Damn it! - Come on.
Come on, baby.
- Oh, Adam makes a move! He takes him on the low side! - Oh, he's running me off! Come on, man! - Come on, Rut! I got you! - Oh, no! This is getting ugly.
- You guys better hurry.
Death is right behind ya.
- Oh, come on.
Stig is right on me.
Come on, Adam.
Stig's on me! - No, no, you are not getting in front of me.
- Oh, Adam is blocking him.
Rut can't get around.
- You're slowing me down! Get out of the way! - Oh, Rut is rammed! Yeah! - What was that? Damn it! I've cheated death! Oh, did you see that? Gentlemen, behold.
The car for life.
It won everything.
Okay, it didn't win everything.
It won enough.
- I'll say this.
The van may not have done great on a dirt track--that's not what it was built for.
It was built for having a great time in life, and I had a great time driving it.
But I would much rather drive that Hellcat, so - Life is not all just about survival.
It's about having some damn fun, right? - We did.
Did you see us out there? How much fun we had? Whoo-whee! - Yeah.
It was great.
We were sideways.
I heard you screaming.
- Yeah, I saw you.
I saw you drifto kings out there ripping it.
- Yeah.
- I'm starting this damn thing.
Here's my radio.
- I'll bet you are.
I'm gonna take a minute and go look for a Hellcat.
- Have fun.
I'll be in my car for life.
- Hey, I got a fridge in here.
It's loaded with beers and stuff if you want to party later.
See you, bro.
- Come on! Clear! You can do it this time.
This time.
Feel the energy.