Virgin River (2019) s06e04 Episode Script

1
[whimsical music playing]
Did Preacher tell you anything
about your bachelor party?
[Jack] Well,
only that I'll need my combat boots.
- What about Brie? She give anything away?
- Mmm
Just that the dress code
is "urban cowgirl."
Urban cowgirl? What does that even mean?
Oh, I don't know.
Denim jacket, push-up bra?
Oh, that sounds like my kind of party.
What about Joey? She make it in?
[sighs] Oh yeah. I'm sure she's exhausted,
but she'll rally. Wanna make it special.
Mmm.
I bet you look great in that.
- Yeah, it's been a while since I wore it.
- [car honking]
Oop! I gotta go.
My chauffeur awaits.
You get a chauffeur?
I don't get a chauffeur.
Yeah! Brie booked us a stretch limo
for the entire day.
- Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm.
[Jack] Hmm!
- [contented music playing]
- [Mel laughing]
- Wow! That's, uh
- [laughs] What?
You know.
I mean, only the best
for your bride-to-be.
- Yeah! Obviously.
- Yes.
[both laughing]
Don't you have
too much fun without me, okay?
- Me?
- Mm-hmm.
- Never!
- [Jack chuckles]
Thank you.
Okay, we've got all
the bachelorette essentials. Boa, tiara
- Penis straws and a very sexy
- [Kaia] Ooh!
GI Mike! Hello there, sir!
[laughs] What's with this look?
- I'm just following Preacher's orders.
- [phone vibrating]
- [Brie] Mm-hmm.
- [Kaia] Oh!
Hunky Hank's. Gotta take this.
What's, uh, Hunky Ha
- Never mind. Don't wanna know.
- [laughs]
So? You excited for today?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah. It's been a while since
the guys from the unit have hung out, so
Listen, uh, I know we haven't really
talked about the other night, so, uh
You know, I think I was just in my head
about the trial and everything.
You were really sweet.
Wanting to make sure I was okay.
Okay.
- Are you okay?
- Of course.
I'm more than okay.
Okay. Well, then maybe tonight we can, uh
Yeah.
I'll even bring the handcuffs.
Mmm. That's my job.
Well, see,
but mine are pink and furry, so
[both chuckling]
Ooh, quick. They don't have a Marine,
so firefighter or cop?
- Cop. Obviously.
- [Mike] Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Okay.
GI Mike, shipping out.
- [laughs] Bye.
- [gentle music playing]
[Joey] Brie and Kaia really went all out.
It was so last minute too.
- [laughing] Yeah. I know.
- Oh, thank you for coming.
Are you kidding?
When my sister's future sister-in-law
calls me out of the blue
and tells me to get on a flight,
I get on that flight.
We weren't planning
on doing this, but, you know,
after Preacher's trial, I think that
everyone needed to let off some steam.
Yeah, that makes sense.
So, hey,
how is the wedding planning going?
Um, we're making headway.
- Good!
- Yeah.
- Yay.
- Yeah.
And, uh, I am gonna ask Everett
to walk me down the aisle.
- Wow! Really?
- Yeah.
I didn't realize
you two were getting so close.
- Well, you know, it's taken some time.
- Yeah.
But I feel like he's finally opening up.
- Great.
- Yeah.
Do you think you'll be able
to meet him this weekend?
Oh, I
I wish I could, but I have to
get back for Morgan's softball finals, so
Right.
Well, you'll meet him at the wedding.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
["First Car Feeling"
by Brittney Spencer playing]
[Brie] There it is!
- [Joey laughs] Gosh! Yes!
- Oh no.
- [Mel and Joey laughing]
- [Brie] All right, ladies.
Are you ready to get batshit crazy?
- I am.
- [ladies whooping]
Hi, Joey!
It's good to see you.
Oh, I'm so glad we're all together.
It is all for you, baby.
[Mel] Oh no. Oh.
Oop. [laughs]
[all whooping]
["First Car Feeling" continues playing]
[song fading]
Some moms send cute onesies
when their daughter's expecting.
Mine sends this thing.
And a balm for chapped nipples?
I'll take a practical gift
over a cute one any day.
A onesie isn't gonna feed your daughter
when she's crying
in the middle of the night.
At least she sent
my favorite book from when I was a kid.
[Hope] Oh, sweet.
[both laugh]
Anyway, I should get going.
I need to pick up the movie posters
for the drive-in.
Thanks.
Also, uh, Ricky texted me.
We're gonna take a walk.
I want to make sure we're cool
before he ships out.
How patriotic of you.
- [knock on door]
- [door opens]
- [Lizzie] Hi, Muriel. Bye, Muriel.
- Hi.
- [Hope] Hi.
- [chuckles] Hi.
- [sighs]
- Are you playing hooky?
No! Doc gave me the day off.
- My Doc?
- Mm-hmm.
I think he's beginning to realize
the value in a little personal time.
Only took him 30 years.
[laughing]
- What's up?
- I have a favor to ask.
I'm getting a biopsy in Clear River today,
and I was wondering
if you wouldn't mind taking me.
A biopsy?
I found a lump in my breast the night
that I was supposed to go out with Walt.
- And that's why I canceled the date.
- [shakily] Oh, Muriel
No, do not go there.
Please don't "Oh, Muriel" me.
I don't wanna make a big deal out of this.
I just want a ride
and to keep this between us.
[somber music playing]
I'm your girl.
[chuckles]
Can I ask you something?
Anything.
Is your mom really sick?
[laughs] What?
- What are you talking about?
- It's just, I [clears throat]
I ran into Frank,
you know, from the camps?
He said your mom was fine.
That she was out drinking, playing cards.
She was out drinking?
That's what Frank said.
Unbelievable!
The doctor tells her she needs
to go on dialysis, she goes out drinking?
She never takes care of herself.
That's why I'm trying to help her.
Brady where's this coming from?
I just
I want us to be honest with each other.
- That's it.
- You don't believe me.
Brady, if we're gonna work,
you're gonna need to trust me.
You know you can tell me anything.
I'm not Brie.
- Yeah.
- [bittersweet music playing]
Uh
Forget I said anything.
I gotta go.
Uh, I still got some stuff to do
before Jack's bachelor party, so
I wanted to talk to you
about our next patient.
Yeah. Greg O'Neill, 62 years old,
Stage 3 Parkinson's disease.
Yeah.
His disease is progressing.
Oh, um, if you're worried about me
being able to handle a patient
with a neurodegenerative disease,
you don't have to.
I've got this.
Thank you both for letting
my grandson Denny sit in today.
He's doing an internship
here at the clinic.
Denny, what's shakin'?
[Doc laughing]
If I had a nickel
for every time he's made that joke
It's wonderful to meet you both.
So, what brings you in today other than
Greg working on his new material?
[both chuckling]
Well, Greg's symptoms
have been flaring up more at night.
- Trouble sleeping?
- Yeah.
He's been getting up and taking baths
in the middle of the night
to try and relax his muscles.
But last night, he slipped
on his way out of the tub and
I found him this morning
asleep on the bathroom floor.
He was there for two hours
before I woke up.
[grunts] I was fine.
I didn't want to wake you.
- She needs her beauty rest.
- [Doc chuckles]
You saying I'm not beautiful?
[Doc chuckles]
[Greg] She's exhausted.
She's been there for me 24/7.
[Doc] Any nausea?
Headaches? Blurred vision?
Ah. No, nothing I can't handle.
[groans softly]
[groans, chuckles]
The worst part since we got sick
is watching him suffer like this.
There must be something more
we can do for him.
Gladys, you're doing everything
you possibly can and then some.
Let me ask you a question.
When was the last time
you played bridge with the ladies?
[chuckling] Oh, gosh.
I can't even remember!
Well, you know, if you hired
a full-time live-in aide
What? No!
[imploringly] No, he's okay. We're okay.
We're not okay, honey.
It's time.
[gentle music playing]
[Josh grunts] I can't believe
you're getting married, bro.
[Jack] Yeah.
- [Tom] Still time to abort the mission.
- [laughs] Oh, come on.
Ignore Tom. He's just jealous.
Who would have thought a shotgun wedding
in Vegas wouldn't last, huh?
- [all laughing]
- Yeah, I made 20 bucks off that wedding.
What about you, Mike? Getting down
on one knee for Brie any time soon?
Uh
- Well, I don't know about that.
- Third time's the charm.
Ah, don't pressure the guy.
One wedding at a time, right?
- [Zeke] Mmm.
- Man, I might wear this to the wedding.
- I look good.
- [Brady] That's debatable.
- [Jack] Poor choice.
- [laughing]
What are we wearing?
Suit, dress blues? What?
- Like you can fit into dress blues, bro.
- [all exclaiming]
- [Tom] Shots fired.
- Ooh! That is spicy.
[all laughing]
When is the last time
we wore a dress uniform?
It's, uh, Lonergan's funeral.
[Tom exhales]
Fellas, let's coordinate our outfits
later, all right?
We are here to kick some ass.
- Hells yeah. Who are we up against?
- No idea.
Well, whoever steps onto
that battlefield today
is in for the fight of their lives,
all right?
We may have a little more
gray in our beards.
- And carry a little extra armor, right?
- Oh, hey!
But I would ride into battle with you boys
until we're too old
to get ourselves out of bed.
- [all exclaiming] Yeah!
- [Preacher] Damn straight! Damn right!
Oorah.
[all] Oorah!
- [man] Hey!
- [upbeat music playing]
Stop barking, boomers.
You bush campers are going down.
Yeah, you're going down, you bush camper.
- What's a bush camper?
- [Mike] No idea.
- [groans]
- [Zeke] Oh!
Hey!
[Preacher] Game on!
- [Jack] You okay?
- [pellets whiz]
- [indistinct chatter]
- [ladies laughing]
So, this is the first
bachelorette destination of three,
representing Mel's
past, present, and future.
- [Mel] Oh!
- And this is her past?
Yeah. Boozy brunches with the ladies.
- So LA.
- [Mel] Aww.
Well, I hope that doesn't mean
that boozy brunches are only in my past.
- Oh no. No.
- I will cheers to that.
- [Kaia] Hear, hear.
- To the bride-to-be.
- [all] Cheers.
- And to the maid and matron of honor.
- [Brie] Aww.
- Yeah.
Oh! We're co-maids of honor?
Oh, well, not exactly.
She's the maid and you're the matron.
I mean, it's a little outdated.
And, actually, it's anti-feminist
now that I'm saying it out loud.
But, um, I'm sorry.
I thought I told you that.
No, you didn't.
But, hey, it makes sense,
because she's about to be your sister too.
Well, yeah! I mean, you're my
You know, you're my OG,
and I wanted you both in the wedding.
My OG and my New G.
Right? I hope that's okay.
- Yes. It's great. I love it. It's great.
- Okay.
[Joey exclaims]
Who wants another drink?
- [Mel] Oh, always. Yes.
- [Kaia] Definitely.
[rock music playing in background]
How do you feel? Any pain?
No. I feel the same as I did
30 seconds ago when you asked. Still fine.
- Oh, of course. Of course you are.
- [laughs] Yeah.
You are such a trooper.
Oh, for the love of God.
Hope, look at me. I am fine.
Truly! I mean, if I
If it turns out I do have cancer,
then I do not want every day
to be a countdown to my funeral.
I want every day to be a celebration.
Then let's start celebrating.
Okay.
[upbeat music playing]
[Ricky] Listen.
I'm really sorry.
Last time I saw you, I didn't mean to be
such a jerk about you being pregnant.
You weren't a jerk.
I was just being defensive.
I think I'm just kind of freaking out.
Like, today,
I got this care package from my mom
and it had all this practical baby stuff,
and it just made everything feel so real.
I get it.
Now that I'm actually getting deployed,
things are starting to feel
pretty real for me too.
It's a lot to handle.
Do you have anyone
you can talk to about it?
There's this one friend at boot camp.
We can talk about anything,
which has been really nice.
It's nice to have someone who just
understands what you're going through.
[Lizzie] Yeah.
[Ricky] What about Denny? He, uh
He must be freaking out a little too, no?
[Lizzie] No.
He seems super excited.
He can't wait to be a dad,
which is why I don't want to burden him
with my stupid fears, you know?
Your fears aren't stupid. If you tell
Denny how you feel, I'm sure he'd listen.
Yeah, it's just
How do you tell the father of your child
that you're scared to be a mom?
To take all that on, you know?
I feel like he's
depending on me to be what she needs.
[nervously] And she is too.
Hey. Hey.
[crying softly]
You remember that party in Dinsmore?
Afterwards, we walked down
to Forest Hill Bridge?
Yeah, that's where we had our first kiss.
[chuckles]
You remember
what you said to me that night?
That I see you?
Well I see you, Lizzie.
Who you've become.
You've turned your whole life into
a life.
And it is so beautiful.
When I met you, you did not know
how to do that, but you figured it out.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess I did.
Plus, I think the fact
that you're scared to be a mom
means that you're already a good one.
- [laughs]
- It means that you love your baby.
And you want to do right by her.
And that's all she needs.
Probably all Denny needs too.
[sighs]
[gentle music playing]
Ugh, I'm starting to wonder if we'll ever
finish this lacework by hand
in time for the wedding.
It will all be worth it
once we see Mel floating down the aisle.
Oh, she'll be a vision.
Mm-hmm.
[Hope] Good afternoon, ladies.
[Jo Ellen] So, what's all this about?
Muriel and I were inspired
by Mel's bachelorette party.
Why should they have all the fun?
- Needles down, ladies.
- [ladies chuckling]
For the rest of the day,
we are going to celebrate too.
Celebrate what?
- Life.
- And friendship.
- But mostly
- To having our own damn party.
[all] To having our own damn party!
[Jo Ellen] Okay.
[Hope yelps]
["Ready or Not" by Fulton House
& Alan Avry playing]
Ready or not
We going straight to the top ♪
- [paintballs pelting]
- Calling the shots ♪
We running it
It never stops ♪
Ready or, ready or, ready or not ♪
- [man] I'm hit.
- [Jack] Go, go, go! Go, go, go!
Ahh! Come on!
- [man] Eat it!
- [players laughing]
[sighs]
- Does this mean I can drink now?
- [both] Yeah.
Hittin' the mark, takin' the charge ♪
I'm seeing it through till it's done ♪
This is the moment
I know that you feel it ♪
I'm feeling you turning it up ♪
[whispers] Cover me.
Ready or not
We going straight to the top ♪
Come on! Are you kidding me?
We running it
It never stops ♪
Come on.
Okay, these kids are good.
If you lay down some suppressive fire,
keep them undercover,
I'll swing around, attack the flank.
Or we could just be cool.
- Ready or not ♪
- [Brady yelling]
- [Brady yelling]
- How was that cool?
- [paintball thuds]
- Ahh!
Come on, man!
["Ready or Not" continues playing]
I got a need for speed ♪
The money run fast
And I'm loving the chase ♪
Yeah, I'm loving the chase
I'm loving the chase! ♪
[man] Yo, Grandpa.
- [song stops playing]
- [man laughs]
Enjoy your retirement. [laughs]
- [whizzing]
- [man] Ow! Asshole.
- [Mel] Oop! Pff! Ha.
- [axe clatters]
[both exclaiming]
- [Brie] That was very impressive.
- [Mel laughs]
- Okay, so what exactly does throw
- [axe bangs loudly]
Throwing axes have to do with my present?
- Uh, you and Jack bought a farm.
- And you rescued a horse.
Oh no, no. We're babysitting a horse.
- This is your cowgirl moment.
- [axe clattering]
Yee-haw!
- [Brie laughing]
- Yee-haw.
[Joey] Okay,
I'm just gonna try that again.
[Mel] Okay.
Is she okay?
- [axe clatters loudly]
- Uh
You know, I think she's just feeling
a little out of place.
She's always been more urban than cowgirl.
Do you think it's the whole
co-maid-of-honor thing?
- Yeah. I think so.
- [axe banging loudly]
I swear I thought I told her.
Do you guys think that maybe
there's time to slot in something
that she would've picked?
- Yeah. Totally.
- Yeah. Of course.
Of course. We can adjust our plans.
You never know what the future holds.
[laughs] Okay. I'm gonna go get her
before she hurts herself or
- [axe banging]
- any anyone else.
Okay.
Are you good to call the firefighter?
I thought you chose cop.
Oh, right. Yeah, no, I just
Sorry, I got confused.
Between a firefighter and a cop.
Yeah, no, that's that's a tough one.
So, what do you say
we do something a little more us?
But Brie and Kaia
have the whole day planned.
Yeah, but they're cool with it.
I promise you're gonna love it.
Okay. I mean, whatever you want.
You're the bride.
Great, okay, I'm gonna just
I'm gonna take this.
We're gonna leave this here. Okay?
Okay.
[tranquil music playing]
Hey, you ready to head out?
I was thinking maybe I'd grill
some of that trout I caught the other day.
You go ahead. I told Muriel I'd
stick around and clean up a little bit.
- And restock the toilet paper.
- Oh! The glamorous life of an intern.
- Yeah.
- Hey, what are you doing here?
Going above and beyond
for Greg and Gladys, right?
Yeah, well, they've been through a lot.
And I figured I should
I should know about it too, 'cause
Well
You know, you're not gonna have
to worry about that for a very long time.
Yeah, but I can't stop
thinking about Gladys.
The way she said,
"Ever since we got sick."
I never want Lizzie
to find me on the bathroom floor.
You know, every spouse
worries about how they're gonna handle
the "in sickness and in health"
part of the wedding vow.
I mean, look at Hope and me. We both
had to face health issues recently.
Yeah, but you both did.
And we know Lizzie's the one
who's gonna have to hold up those vows.
That's why I don't think
we should get married.
Oh, I
Now, does Lizzie feel the same way?
We haven't talked about it for a while.
But, I mean, after today
with a baby on the way, I just
I think I need to start planning
for some kind of long-term care for me.
So that when the time comes
You have people around you
who love you very, very much.
You will not be alone in this.
I know.
But when my symptoms start,
I'm not gonna be a burden on Lizzie
or our baby.
Well, loving you is never a burden.
[exhales]
[upbeat music playing faintly]
Phew!
- [Mel laughs]
- [Joey] Okay.
- [karaoke playing loudly in background]
- Oh my God. Joey.
Do you remember Halloween in Koreatown?
- I vaguely remember too much tequila.
- [laughing] Yeah.
We will not be having a repeat of that,
so I'm gonna switch to vodka.
A lot of soda, please? Thank you.
- [Mel] So Joey broke a karaoke machine.
- [gasps]
Okay, I'm gonna need to hear that story.
Oh, and we also coined nicknames
for our drunk alter egos that night.
- [Joey] No, do not go there.
- Messy Mel.
[women laughing]
- And Sloppy Joe.
- No, I do not stand by that nickname.
That is amazing. Go on.
[chuckling] Okay, so Joey decides to sing
"Graduation" by Vitamin C.
- Okay.
- [Joey] As a tribute to Mel.
She just graduated from Chapman.
- Go, Panthers.
- Go, Panthers. Um
But it turns out
Joey does not know the lyrics.
Because it had a lot more rap
than you would think.
So I was kind of just reading
all the words and dying of embarrassment,
and then I decided to go all in
and just scream into the mic.
- And, bam, all the power went out.
- [Mel] So we hightail it out.
They were trying to charge me for damages!
Oh no!
Side of the road, trying to hail a cab,
no one will pick us up.
I stick my thumb out
in the middle of K-Town.
- Dressed like Baby Spice, mind you.
- [laughs] Oh yeah!
[Joey] And this heavy metal guy
in a truck pulls up.
Oh my God. Wait, hold on, hold on.
I can't believe I forgot to tell you this.
That is how Everett met my mom.
She was hitchhiking. Isn't that crazy?
- [Brie] Aww. That's cute.
- Our mom.
[laughing] Yeah, I know! Isn't that crazy?
You just You said "my mom."
- Oh, wait, I did?
- [karaoke music stops]
[DJ on speaker] Okay,
we're gonna take a quick break.
- And then Mel and Joey, you're on deck.
- Oh. Oh, but I mean
- Come on up and choose your song.
- That's you.
- [Kaia and Brie] Go, go, go, go, go!
- [both whooping]
[Brie] Whoo-hoo!
- Beer chaser?
- Hell yes.
- [Brie groans]
- [upbeat music playing in background]
[Kaia] Uh, two beers, please, sir.
You think our guys are getting this wild?
I don't know if Mike and Preacher
are quite the wild type.
[both laughing]
Brady maybe.
Stop!
That cop and firefighter confusion
was just
- I don't know what.
- A Freudian slip?
No judgement. Brady's hot.
Yeah, well, Mike's hot too.
Yeah, I meant, like,
in a dangerous way, you know?
- Kinda like my ex was.
- He was?
[Kaia] Mmm.
Oh, yeah, Jay was like fire.
Unpredictable, hypnotic, fun to play with.
[Brie] Mmm.
Until I got burned.
Just like you did with Brady.
- To our stable men.
- Hear, hear.
- [laughs]
- [phone chiming]
- Slow down there, boozy Brie!
- [both laughing]
[gasping]
- Oh no!
- What?
[chuckles softly]
Hunky Hank just texted. He's there.
- What?
- He didn't get my voicemail.
So we did not cancel.
We did not cancel.
[Kaia chuckling]
Well, someone's about to get
one hell of a surprise.
[Kaia giggling]
Okay, Muriel, you're up.
Best you ever had.
Well, now that's gonna be a hard one.
And I know you're gonna think I'm cheap.
[Jo Ellen chuckling]
Little Debbie Swiss Roll.
What are we talking about?
- Dessert.
- [Muriel laughing]
Like a bunch of tired old biddies.
Let's play for real.
Best you ever had in bed.
[all exclaiming]
I hardly think that that's
Ladies' night appropriate?
I would say it is. Wouldn't you, Muriel?
I totally agree,
but I think you need to go first.
Fine, I will.
[scoffs] Vernon.
- Aw!
- And if you want specifics
- [Connie] We do not.
- Last Thursday was the winner.
A spontaneous urge
in the middle of the day.
And you know those don't come around
as often anymore.
But it's sure nice when they do.
[ladies giggling and exclaiming]
Okay, I'm thinking you might
be next there, Jo Ellen.
Well I've only ever been with Nick,
so I'm not sure
I can really play this game, but
if you've ever wondered
why the honeymoon suite
in the B&B is booked
every Wednesday night
[all exclaiming and laughing]
I have never wondered that.
They don't call it "hump day" for nothing.
[all laughing loudly]
What I'm trying to say
is that our sex life
has gotten better recently too,
and, you know
Well, I mean,
it's not as acrobatic as it used to be,
and we have to work around a few things,
but that just makes it
all the more intimate.
Sweet, really, which I prefer.
[clapping] All right. All right.
All right. So
Cameron was mine.
But he was not sweet, which I prefer.
- Oh, now we're getting somewhere.
- [ladies exclaiming]
Connie, you're next.
A woman's intimate life should be private.
[Lydie scoffing]
Oh, you're just saying that
because you don't have an intimate life.
- [all laughing]
- Oh! And you do?
Well, I did with Herb.
Aw! And I may have dabbled since, but, um
But
Best I had was my first love.
He was such a romantic.
A real romantic.
Made me feel like I was
the only girl in the world.
[Muriel] Aww!
Walt made me feel that way on our date.
I mean, we didn't
We didn't have sex, at least not yet.
But, I mean, who knows, right?
- Maybe the best is yet to come.
- [Lydie] Yeah.
Okay, horndogs, time to go.
[ladies protesting]
- What a party pooper!
- Can't you see we're having a moment here?
- Do you have to close up? Why?
- Yes, I do.
[loudly] All right!
Ladies, we've got a problem here.
You didn't need to call the cops.
[ladies exclaiming]
Which one of you is Mel?
- She is. She's Mel.
- I am. That's me.
[Muriel] What? Oh!
Hope, you little devil.
[sensual hip-hop song playing]
[Lydie] Oh my!
- Whoa.
- [sensual hip-hop continues]
Hi.
Oh!
- [Lydie] Oh my!
- Ain't nobody rockin' like this ♪
[ladies exclaiming and cheering]
Gettin' funky with it
Yeah, I'm showin' off my assets ♪
I'm making classics, making magic
I got a habit, and I won't stop ♪
- How does he do that?
- [Muriel] Can I touch it?
Catch me on the dance floor
Acting out, shakin' butt ♪
I'm about to lose control
Watch me go ♪
[ladies exclaiming and whooping]
I've never seen anything like this.
- [sensual hip-hop continues]
- I'mma show you how I make moves ♪
- [gasping]
- Yeah, just like I'm supposed to ♪
[music fades]
[Brady] Can you pass me the hot sauce?
Hot sauce.
- Yeah, that one. Yeah, yeah. Good.
- [Preacher] Mmm!
Can't believe we got our asses
handed to us by a bunch of teenagers.
Yeah. Yeah, well, I blame it
on those video games.
- Right?
- [Jack] That's it.
We would have had a shot
if Brady hadn't gone rogue again.
- [all laughing]
- Classic Brady.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- [laughing continues]
- Nothing.
- No, I'm serious. What?
[sighs] Jeez, man, relax, okay?
It was a joke.
All right, who's up for some more ribs?
- [Jack] Yeah, count me in.
- [Zeke] Mm-hmm.
I didn't go rogue in Mosul, okay?
- You kind of did.
- Guys, we're not doing this, not here.
I went in because I trusted you.
It was your intel, and you screwed me
just like you did with
- What?
- I'm sorry.
Just forget it.
No, no, no, come on.
Say it. Say it, tough guy. Say it. What?
I said forget it.
I took a bullet for you, man.
But you're always acting
like everyone's out to get you.
But guess what? Only person
who's ever screwed up your life is you.
- [Zeke] No, no, no! No!
- [Jack] Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
- [Jack] No!
- [Preacher] Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Mm-mmm.
[Mel and Joey]
Hit me with your best shot ♪
[Mel] Come on ♪
- [both] Hit me with your best shot ♪
- [rock music playing on stereo]
Hit me with your best shot ♪
Fire away ♪
Hey, Blondie, you suck!
Tell your friend to get off the stage.
Hey, excuse me, sir.
This is not my friend.
This is my sister. We have the same mom.
Yeah, I know how sisters work. Who cares?
I care! She is my sister,
and my best friend,
and my matron of honor, and I love her.
So you, sir, and your
"Tommy Bahamas coconut shirt
from the midlife crisis catalog"
can kiss my a
Okay! And we're gonna
let ourselves out. Thank you. Bye.
[rock music fades]
[music playing indistinctly in background]
This happens every single time
we get together and nothing changes.
I mean, you guys are lucky
we didn't get kicked out.
Come on, Jack-o,
we're supposed to be having fun.
Yeah?
This feels like fun to you?
What about you guys?
Lots of fun?
War screwed us up.
All of us.
And every time we get together,
it's just the same old shit.
And it's not gonna stop, guys.
It's not gonna stop until we stop it.
And if we don't,
we may as well be right back in Mosul.
We may as well have never
even made it home, okay? But we did.
We made it home.
That means something.
But if we're stuck back there,
it doesn't mean shit.
And we're not those guys anymore anyway.
So come on, just starting tonight, can we
please just put the war behind us?
[somber music playing]
Well, Jack's right.
I mean, that was all in the past.
We are still brothers.
And we have been
since the day we were deployed.
And we always will be.
And, man, we are the lucky ones.
All right, so what do you all think?
Can we salvage this night
and have a bit more fun?
[Josh chuckles]
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- [Mike] Yeah.
All right, good. 'Cause there's one thing
about deployment I do miss.
[Joey] Okay, that was really sweet.
But what was that back there?
Wha That guy was being a total ass!
I was just defending you.
You were acting like a lunatic.
Oh, okay, says the woman
throwing the axe like a serial killer.
Well, I've never thrown
an axe before, okay?
Joey, I know you're upset.
You're right.
Okay? I am.
Most of our lives,
it's just been you and me.
And now you have a new sister.
And a new dad.
And Mom is like this stranger
I never even knew.
Our mom.
Who cheated on our dad.
Right? And, yeah, it's all a lot harder
than I thought it was gonna be.
Oh my God, Joey, I'm so sorry.
Ugh.
I didn't mean to.
I would never, you know
I know. I know.
Look, I gave you those letters because
I know how much
you want a big, happy family.
[sweet music playing]
And I want that for you.
I just
[cries softly] I didn't expect
to lose you in the process, that's all.
Joey.
You are never gonna lose me.
You're everything to me!
And nothing is ever gonna change that.
Not DNA, not Jack's family.
Especially not some drunk guy
in a bar who thinks you're a bad singer.
[both laughing]
I am a bad singer.
- I know, you really are.
- Yeah.
[sniffling] I just love karaoke.
[laughs]
I just love you.
[sweet music continues]
Listen, I'm so happy for you.
I really am.
It's just gonna take some getting used to.
Okay.
You know what I want?
What I really, really want?
[all] If you wanna be my lover
You gotta get with my friends ♪
Make it last forever
'Cause friendship never ends ♪
If you want to be my lover
You have got to give ♪
Takin' is too easy
But that's the way it is ♪
[song ends]
[lights buzzing]
[Jack] All right, boys.
Same teams as always.
Here we go.
[Brady] Hey.
Listen, um, about before
Ah, forget it. I was out of line.
You were right.
You trusted me in Mosul,
and I broke that trust.
I thought I earned that trust back
No, you did.
You did.
Just, uh
Brie.
Yeah, Brie's always gonna be a sore spot.
I know.
But Jack's right.
We're not the same men we used to be.
We've both moved on.
Right?
- Yeah.
- [Zeke] Hey.
- You two done gossiping?
- [man] Yeah, come on.
- Let's get into this.
- All right. Let's do this thing.
All right. We're just waiting
on one more. Oh, there he is.
Jack, what's going on?
I thought this was your bachelor party.
[Jack] Well, it is.
And I wanted to spend it
with my brothers, which includes you.
Now that you're a Marine, Ricky,
you are part of this brotherhood for life.
[all] Yeah!
And it occurred to me that before you
ship out, we gotta bring you up to speed,
because although boot camp
did prepare you to fight with honor,
courage, and commitment,
it did not prepare you for the downtime.
- [Ricky] Oof!
- [all cheering]
[man] Let's go! Let's do this!
[man] Hut! Hike!
- [all clamoring]
- ["We Got It" by various artists playing]
I just want to lose control, hey ♪
- [man] Hut!
- [song continues] We got it ♪
Whatever it is
You can feel it in your soul ♪
We got it ♪
Gonna get it now ♪
Anywhere we go ♪
That good time sunshine ♪
All right in your bones ♪
Whatever it is, yeah
We got it ♪
Hut! Hut!
Aw! What are you
- [all clamoring]
- [song continues]
One, two, three, four ♪
Yeah ♪
If I could put a bass in a bottle
I would bottle it up ♪
And I would twist that top
Turn it up ♪
Ain't nobody leaving
Till they had enough ♪
No, we won't stop, baby
No, we won't stop now ♪
Hut! Hut! Hut!
We got it
All together now ♪
Anywhere we go ♪
That good time sunshine ♪
All right in your bones ♪
Whatever it is, yeah
We got it ♪
- [song fades]
- [chuckling]
Good to see you having fun out there.
Yeah. Yeah, it felt good.
[Jack chuckling]
Listen.
Thank you for tonight.
Of course, brother.
Hmm? What's a best man for?
- See you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
[sighs] Yeah.
Listen, thanks for inviting me.
If my unit's anything like yours,
I think I'll be all right.
Nah, you're gonna do great, kid.
Look, we're all rooting for you.
And we will be till you come home.
Hey, hey, hey.
[gentle music playing]
[laughing] Thank you.
Okay, what's next?
I'm thinking "Walking on Sunshine."
- [Kaia] Ooh!
- [both] Yes.
- Oh, wait, where's Brie?
- [Joey] Oh.
[music playing in background]
Hey, you.
Um, I know you're still out
with Jack and the guys, but I
just
I guess wanted to hear your voice.
'Cause I can't stop thinking about you.
So there's that. [laughs]
Uh, I'm drunk.
So this message
will self-destruct in 30 seconds.
[softly] Bye.
[sniffs]
Hey.
[quietly] Uh, hey.
Sorry, I know it's super late, but, um
this couldn't wait.
So I'm not good with trust, okay?
But I want you to trust me.
So I need to trust you.
I do.
I do trust you.
Good.
Me and you, we
We didn't come from good homes
or happy families, but that is why
That is why we get each other
like nobody else can.
That is why I want to build
a real home for you and Hazel.
I want to make you happy
because I am falling in love with you.
I'm just gonna leave that there.
I don't want to wake Hazel.
[kisses] I'll see you tomorrow.
Brady, wait.
[exhales]
I'm falling in love with you too.
[Lark laughs]
- [Lark exclaims]
- Yeah, go.
- [Lark] Bye.
- Good night.
[laughs]
[phone vibrating]
[Brie on voicemail] Hey, you.
Um, I know you're still out
with Jack and the guys, but I
just
I guess wanted to hear your voice,
'cause I can't stop thinking about you
[door opening]
Ah! There she is, my bride-to-be.
Oh my God, I'm so happy to be home.
[Jack] I take it you had a good night.
Oh, you know, it was a little bit
rough at first, but then it was amazing.
- Oh yeah?
- I got into a bar fight.
- What?
- Almost! Kind of not.
- No?
- No, shush, shush! Shush, we do not
What happens at the bachelorette
stays at the bachelorette.
- [whispers] Okay.
- Okay.
How was your night?
Ah
It was kind of the same.
Rough at first,
but, yeah, it turned out great, and
I made a decision about the wedding.
Oh yeah?
Yeah. No dress blues.
I want to focus on our future.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, you look sexy
no matter what you wear or don't wear.
- Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm. Really.
You know, apparently
I was supposed to have a stripper tonight.
[Jack] Mm-hmm?
But I guess your bride-to-be
can't have everything.
[Jack] Hmm.
[laughing] What are you
- What are you doing?
- ["Pony" by Leon Bridges playing on phone]
Oh!
What does it look like I'm doing?
[Mel gasps]
I get a stripper!
Oh, I really wanted a stripper. [laughing]
[giggles]
Howdy, ma'am.
- ["Pony" continues on phone]
- I am just a bachelor ♪
Lookin' for a partner ♪
Someone who knows how to ride ♪
Without even falling off ♪
- [whistling]
- Gotta be compatible ♪
Sets me to my limits ♪
Girl, when I break you off ♪
I promise that you won't
Want to get off ♪
If you're horny, let's do it ♪
Ride it, my pony ♪
My saddle's waiting ♪
Come and jump on it ♪
If you're horny, let's do it ♪
Ride it, my pony ♪
My saddle's waiting ♪
Come and jump on it ♪
You know I like that, little baby ♪
[song continues]
Yeah, yeah ♪
- Mm-mm-mmm!
- What?
Touching is extra.
- Aw!
- Sitting here flossing ♪
Well, then again,
what do they say on the ranch?
I don't know.
What do they say on the ranch?
"Save a horse,
ride a cowboy."
- [squeals, laughs]
- You and your body ♪
Oh my God. This is my cowgirl moment.
- [laughs]
- Sending chills up and down your spine ♪
Juices flowing down your thigh ♪
If you're horny, let's do it ♪
Ride it, my pony ♪
My saddle's waiting ♪
Come on and jump on it ♪
If you're horny, let's do it ♪
Ride it, my pony ♪
And my saddle's waiting ♪
Come and jump on it ♪
[song continues playing]
[song fades out]