Black Mirror (2011) s06e05 Episode Script
Demon 79
1
Got a customer.
- I'm on my lunch.
- Yeah, I can smell that.
Mine's in five minutes, so if
I start with a customer now,
it cuts into my break.
That's Keith Holligan.
So?
So he murdered his wife.
Oh, it were manslaughter.
Judge said she drove him to it.
Don't seem like the
strangling type to me.
- Puffy hands.
- Surely, we don't have to serve him.
Everyone needs shoes, Nida.
How about doing your job?
I think I'm going to need the 11.
I'm large.
For my height.
- Sure you can't do a discount?
- I'm so sorry. No, we can't.
I'm just a bit strapped
till the end of the month.
I can put them aside for you.
Go on, then.
If you fancy writing down
your number, I won't mind.
Reckon he's into your sort.
Time and time and time again!
And so we've been treated to
this rather pathetic display
of a flailing government
holding on for dear life.
And it is thanks to Mr.
Callaghan's government limping on
that our nation has suffered
through a winter of discontent.
Now, they promise us a brighter future,
yet the fact remains
that Labour isn't working.
- He's a bit bloody young, in't he?
- He's good though.
They haven't just failed
nationally, but right here in Tipley.
You only have to look around to see it.
Rubbish in the streets.
Crime on the rise.
The character of your neighborhood
under threat.
Bloody right! We don't
wanna end up like Cheetham.
You hear what he said? He said, "We
don't wanna end up like Cheetham."
Of course, we all want
change, but the right kind.
So don't just hope for a better future.
Vote for one!
Thank you. Thank you very much.
As the election nears,
polls show Mrs. Thatcher's
Conservative Party
retains a commanding lead.
Violence erupts as the far-right
National Front march through Southall,
causing thousands in damage
with over 100 arrests and five
police officers hospitalized.
US and Soviet nuclear
non-proliferation talks hit
Down two places to number six,
"Does Your Mother Know" by ABBA.
A new entry at five for
Paul McCartney and Wings
with "Good Night Tonight."
And at number four right
now here in the studio
with their hit "Rasputin,"
it's Boney M.
There lived a certain
man in Russia long ago ♪
He was big and strong ♪
In his eyes, a flaming glow ♪
Most people looked at him
with terror and with fear ♪
But to Moscow chicks ♪
He was such a lovely dear ♪
Ra ra Rasputin ♪
Lover of the Russian queen ♪
There was a cat that really was gone ♪
Ra ra Rasputin ♪
Russia's greatest love machine ♪
It was a shame how he carried on ♪
You're dreaming if you
think you can pull that off.
Mr. Duncan wants a word.
So, Nida, it's nothing major,
but I understand you're in the habit
of eating your lunch in the stockroom.
- Oh
- It's fine.
Everybody does it. We
don't mind. But it's
it's what you're eating.
You see, most people's
food, um, normal food,
it doesn't tend to linger afterwards.
It's not really fair on your coworkers,
and there is a chance it could
well, it could get
into the shoe leather.
So, if you must eat in there,
maybe just bring in a sandwich.
Like a cheese and ham sandwich.
Or just a cheese sandwich, if you're
one of those that doesn't do ham.
- Of course, I'm sorry to have to ask
- I'll do sandwiches from now on.
You know, I think Vicky
will be very appreciative.
But as as will we all.
The thing is, I did
bring a biryani in today.
I see.
Well, um, it's How
about the basement?
- Yes! Yes, you could use the basement.
- The basement?
Mr. Possett himself used to work
down there in the early days.
He didn't like to be disturbed.
It couldn't be further
from civilization.
Thank you, Mr. Duncan.
Very good. Very good. Thank you, Nida.
What?
Hello, what do you want?
Just taking my lunch break.
Hmm.
Hmm?
Transuranic heavy elements
may not be used where there is life.
Medium atomic weights are available.
Gold, Lead, Copper.
Jet, Diamond, Radium,
Sapphire, Silver, and Steel.
Sapphire and steel have been assigned.
Hello.
So, where are they? Mum and Dad?
- Gone.
- Gone? Gone where?
Out of the door, downstairs?
Well, where, then?
Here in the room?
You mean they disappeared, Helen?
Uh, yeah, hi. So, my
name's Gaap. I'm a demon.
You anointed this
talisman with your blood,
so now we're bound together and
Bloody hell.
Look, I I've got a whole
introductory speech here.
We we gotta work together.
Can you pick me up?
Come on, pick me up.
Just just pick me up.
Please?
That's it. Come on. Come on.
I I I won't bite.
I promise. Come on.
Right. So, as I was saying,
you anointed the talisman,
and the rules are you've gotta
carry out three human sacrifices
over the next three days
or else the world's gonna end.
What?
If you want me to help you,
you need to permit me entry.
Uh
Dost thou permit me entry? Yes or no?
This isn't real.
You have to say "yes." Just
say the word "yes." Say it.
If you say "yes," I'll
I'll stop, okay? I'll go away.
You'll never hear from me again,
like this didn't happen.
Just say "yes." Say it.
Say it. Come on, say it. Say
it. Say it! Say it! Say it!
Yes!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on. What's the matter?
All right, I gotta be honest.
I lied about going away.
Uh, hang on. Is it is it these?
Yeah, yeah, sorry. My regular appearance
is probably a bit much for this realm.
Uh, just a sec.
This any better for ya?
I peered into your soul,
and apparently, this is a physical
look you find appealing, so
Maybe you saw this
recently and liked it?
I don't know. Let me have a look.
Wow.
Uh
Okay. Am I, like, a clown?
This how clowns dress
in your realm? I mean
I mean, I can I can
work with it, but
Uh
You have got to get over the
shock and just talk to me.
You know, we have got to work together.
I'm dreaming.
Dream You're really not, you know.
You're not real.
You're not real. You're
not real. You're not real.
Hiya. Like I said, we
have got to work together.
It's blood and bone. You marked the
talisman. I don't make the rules.
I mean, basically, we need to
deliver three sacrifices by Maymass
Uh, that's May Day to
you. Or else it's
Well, it's burning skies time.
I sense you need some convincing.
Uh
Let me show you how this
will play out, all right?
What'll happen if we
don't succeed. You ready?
Ready?
Three, two, one.
So, basically, this is the sort
of thing we're dealing with.
Scorching wall of flame.
It's agonizing death for all, and so on.
See, burning people, they do smell
like you'd expect, don't they?
Like a a burger on a griddle.
It's quite nice if you
disassociate from it.
Mind you, the charred hair
really gets stuck in your throat.
To be honest, I don't
want the apocalypse
to come about any more than you do.
So let's stop it happening, you and me.
All we have to do is deliver
three sacrifices in three days.
It's only three killings.
Like I said, animals don't
count. You have to do humans.
And there's gotta be a
cadence to it. One a day.
It's one kill a day. It it's
Wha what?
That is fewer people than
die falling off ladders
in the same time period.
You'd be less lethal than a ladder.
If I talk to you, you're real,
so I'm not gonna talk to you.
Well, we started conversing
already, so that ship has sailed.
- No, it hasn't.
- Oh, oh, yes, it has.
Uh, don't worry. We're a team.
I'm on your side here, you know?
Let's just get kill number one under
your belt. Start racking 'em up.
You can stop it because
I am not killing anyone.
so I don't know why
you keep talking to me!
That's what I'm here for.
All right? Moral support.
So just hold on to that
brick. Let's go thwack someone.
- What brick?
- The one in your hand, love.
I'm not doing what you say.
What's that, love?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, he's perfect.
There's no witnesses.
- Talk about beginner's luck.
- No.
One quick pop to the
head and you're done.
Please, make him stop.
Make who stop?
Love? Are you all right?
- I need a doctor.
- You want me to go and call one?
Would it help if I told you I
can see into this man's soul,
and he absolutely deserves to die?
- Shut up!
- He's got a daughter.
Her name's Laura. She's eight years old.
Do you wanna know what
he does to her? To Laura?
- No, I don't wanna know.
- Sorry, love. I don't follow.
He pays Laura a little
nighttime visit
Shut up!
Is everything okay?
Do you wanna know how the bastard
makes her feel? Get a load of this.
She kills herself, aged 28, exhausted
by the pain and the shame of it.
Maybe put that down.
Yeah, it does take some getting
used to, I'll grant you that.
But a couple more of those
and I'll be out of your hair.
Look, hang on.
Uh Yeah, yeah. Look,
see? One line gone.
That's one sacrifice
registered. Two to go.
You've got a whole day
to pick the next one.
Oh, come on. You
You forgot to flush.
Oof. Fuck me.
Sorry to disturb you, sir.
- What is it, Suz?
- A missing person.
Boy or girl?
A 39-year-old man.
A Tim Simons.
No, don't know him.
His wife said he didn't
come home last night.
Yeah, because he's on the piss.
It's not even 24 hours yet.
I know, but, sir, the thing is, she
says his dog came home without him.
I suppose we stopped taking
pictures of each other.
Here.
That's him.
He he never stays out. He
Something's happened. I know it.
We don't know anything's
happened at all.
Hello.
Who's this?
It's okay.
It's okay, Laura.
This man and this lady are
going to help find Daddy.
Worried sick, aren't you, love?
How long are you just
gonna sit there for?
You're late for work. You have to go in.
You can't have people
getting suspicious.
I mean it. If you don't turn up
Fucking shut up!
I killed a man.
- I've killed someone.
- Yeah, that was hours ago.
I keep feeling the crack
of his skull on the brick.
I did that.
It's your fault.
You're not even
I'm crazy.
I'm a crazy person.
They said Mum was mad.
They'll say it about me.
But this time, they'll be right.
They'll be totally bloody right.
Hey, look, look. You're not crazy.
I'm a murderer.
Yeah, but you're not a crazy one.
Why is this happening?
Look.
This is actually my first assignment.
It's more of an initiation,
really. Sort of earning my wings.
I mean, I'm new to this too.
I'm not a bad person.
Oh no. No. It wouldn't work if you were.
It has to be someone corruptible.
So, I mean, if you think about
it, what's happening here,
it actually reflects really
well on your character.
Huh?
Yeah.
What what are you doing?
- Calling the police.
- What? Why?
- Why?
- So they'll arrest me.
But then you won't be able
to do the other sacrifices.
Good!
Then the apocalypse will
happen, and billions will die.
I mean, I know. I get it.
You don't want the blood of
three victims on your hands,
but if it saves billions
Hello, emergency services.
What service do you require?
Hello?
Hello? Is anyone there
See? You you are a good person.
What do I do?
Just carry on as usual so
the normals don't get spooked,
which means going to work.
And while you're there, we
can decide who to kill next.
Hello.
What's this?
You were supposed to be in at 9:00.
I threw up this morning.
I thought I might be ill.
Oh, don't come near me.
I don't want your germs.
You look awful.
Well, she's nice.
Front-runner for the old I think.
Uh, she does steal
from the till, you know.
- Gotta pick someone!
- Sh!
God, I I do love a
little old lady. Hey
Oh, isn't she sweet?
She can't stop thinking
about the end though.
They can't wait for it to come.
You'd be doing her a favor.
Shut up.
- What was that, love?
- Nothing.
- She dreams of death. Even now
- How are those for you?
I think they're good. I'll
just go and have a little look.
Just do it. No one will miss her.
No, shut up.
She's nearly dead already.
Very nice.
Sir?
- Sir?
- Yeah?
They said you're in here.
That was nice of 'em.
- Can it wait?
- It's Tim Simons.
Oh aye. Turned up, has he?
He has, sir, but he's dead.
Someone's clobbered him, sir.
So they have.
So, come on. What time do you finish?
Depends what time you wanna start.
Maybe I won't wanna stop.
And maybe I won't wanna stop you.
How about this handsome fucker, eh?
God's gift till he loses his hair at 32
and spends the next 29 years
taking it out on his missus.
- Stop showing me this stuff.
- His missus won't be her.
She never marries. Very sad.
Well, well, look.
It's half-five already.
You gotta get the next
one in by midnight.
You have to pick someone.
On your last trip, did you
discover what the Earth people eat?
They eat a great many of these.
They peel them with their metal knives.
Boil them for 20 of their minutes.
For fuck's sake.
- Do you want the apocalypse to happen?
- You're in the way.
They are clearly a
most primitive people.
Nuclear tensions rise
as talks break down
and US and Soviet jets
I was watching that.
Both superpowers possess a
growing arsenal of atomic weaponry,
yet given the horrific devastation
any nuclear exchange would cause,
it's assumed the policy
You see that?
It's manifesting.
Do you understand? This is the
form it's taking. This is real.
You don't have much time.
You're the only one who can stop it.
No. No.
Don't take the piss, Nida.
No, you're not you're
not a knife person.
- Way too grabby. Cut your hands all up.
- Yeah.
Oh, I know. I know. Down there.
Yes.
That's you. You're a basher.
Come on, you've had the practice
now. It'll be way easier this time.
Dutch courage, eh? That's what you
need. Where do you keep your booze?
I don't drink.
Yeah, shit, yeah.
Uh
Well, do you want a drink?
Tell me why ♪
I don't like Mondays ♪
Tell me why ♪
I don't like Mondays ♪
Tell me why ♪
I don't like Mondays ♪
I wanna shoot ♪
The whole day down ♪
She totally blanked you, huh?
What about her?
- You know?
- You waiting, love?
I'll have
Triple scotch, please.
Easy, you still got work to do.
You want ice with that?
Do people have it with ice?
Generally.
Okay, then.
Actually, make it two
triple scotches. Thank you.
- You don't have to get one for me.
- I didn't.
Tell me why ♪
- I don't like Mondays ♪
- Tell me why ♪
Right, let's get cracking.
You see anyone tasty?
Oh, oh, all right. You
see him? He's perfect.
Piece of work, that one.
String of burglaries.
Mostly targets the elderly.
What do you reckon?
- No?
- Mm-mm.
Okay. Uh
Ah! You see you
see her with the pints?
She went on holiday
when she was 12 years old
and saw her sister
drown in a swimming pool.
She could've pulled her out, but
she just stood there and watched.
Fucking hell.
You could be making this up.
Ah! Okay, you see him?
About three years ago,
he thought his wife was
cheating on him. So, he
Strangled her in the bath.
Are you familiar with his work?
Keith Holligan.
It's funny. It wasn't premeditated,
but he did have a hard-on
when he did it, so
I think we have a contender.
Well, he can't have got far. Come on.
Perfect location. Ain't no witnesses.
You should rush him.
Now, come on!
Did you just follow me from the pub?
You're a dark horse, aren't you?
I've read about girls like you.
- I'm just around the corner.
- You know what? Home turf. Even better.
Come on.
Not much sense in being shy now.
Looks like he wipes
his arse with his house.
Um
Do you want to do it here or
Um
May maybe bedroom's better?
- I think the bedroom.
- Bedroom, right.
Come on.
Don't be frightened.
It's almost midnight.
You're cutting it fine.
- Shut the fuck up, you.
- What was that?
Can't wait to fuck you.
Fucking hell.
Sorry, it's a bit
Sorry.
What are you doing? Just fucking do it.
It's only a heartbeat away ♪
When I need love ♪
I hold out my hands ♪
And I touch love ♪
I never knew there was so much love ♪
Keeping me warm night and day ♪
Tell you what. You get comfy.
I'll just go have a
wash down there first.
Mm-hmm.
A telephone can't take
the place of your smile ♪
But you know I won't
be traveling forever ♪
It's cold out, but hold out ♪
Won't be a minute.
When I need you ♪
I just close my eyes ♪
And I'm with you ♪
Not actually gonna shag him, are you?
I was I was just checking.
I was just checking
Uh, it is 11:54, six minutes
left, since you asked, so
Just fucking come on!
It's not easy when
the road is your driver ♪
Honey, that's a heavy
load that we bear ♪
But you know I won't
be traveling a lifetime ♪
It's cold out, but hold out ♪
And do like I do ♪
Oh, I need you ♪
You're gonna hit me with that.
Okay, then.
I always knew something would happen.
Ever since I did it,
I've had
dreams.
This is what I deserve.
I honestly did love her.
I think.
I wasn't a bad husband. I just
Yes!
Ah, even with four minutes to spare.
Well, you can't have that lying around.
Get out before he sees ya.
Sh.
Keith?
Who are you?
No, no witnesses. He's gotta go.
- Get out!
- I can't kill another one.
- Stay there.
- He's seen you. You have to.
Get out of my house!
Get away!
Do it! It's him or you.
Please, please, please.
Just get out of here.
Please, please
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Come on, let's go.
Who was he?
That'd be Keith's brother, Chris.
What was he like?
You know stuff.
Was he a good person or a bad person?
He was
ordinary.
I know. I know. I know.
It's not what you wanna
hear, but, you know
what's done is done.
And on the plus side,
you scored two tonight.
That one a day is just a minimum,
but two does get you over the line.
You done it.
Hey, look.
See, it, um
It
Just just two secs.
Hi there. Gaap of Misophaes.
Yeah.
Yeah, so, uh, I've got
a talisman circa 1926,
but the rune face just failed to
register one of the sacrifices.
Yeah, two kills, but
only one's been recorded.
Right.
Um, I mean, yeah, but
What? We we
What, we can't just
No.
Yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it.
- Keith didn't count.
- What?
- Why?
- He's a murderer.
Makes him ineligible.
That's what they're saying.
But we've been picking
people who deserve it.
You're not strictly supposed
to do it that way. I just
I thought you'd find it easier.
I mean, the first bloke,
the one by the canal,
they're giving us that one
'cause he's never actually
killed anybody, but
What about what he did to his daughter?
You said she kills herself
at 28, thanks to him.
Yeah, but that's in the future.
I'm sorry.
Look, basically, anyone who's
already been directly responsible
for the death of another human
being, they're off-limits.
Once that's happened, as
far as my boss is concerned,
they're playing for the home team.
You know, we're actually lucky
that Keith's brother turned
up just before midnight.
It would've been Armageddon otherwise.
Look, you did well.
Oh, absolutely go fuck yourself!
Right up a tree!
- This is all right for you.
- It isn't.
No blood on your hands.
You're just watching.
Light entertainment.
If the apocalypse does come,
you'll have a big fun finale.
- That'd be upending the whole place
- It's frowned upon. You get told off.
If I fail my initiation
Kicked out of demon school? Boo-hoo.
- More like cast out.
- Whatever.
Cast out into a boundless, cosmic void.
And doomed to spend eternity in
a vacuum of infinite nothingness.
Absence of matter, of time,
of space, light, and sound.
I would endure a profound, palpable,
and ever-present lack of existence,
alone in perpetuity,
forever more.
Sounds like my life.
To be honest, I'm scared.
So one more victim, then.
Yeah, only thing for it.
- I can't be doing a total innocent.
- It's just murderers we have to avoid.
You mean people like me.
My whole life, I never
wished harm on anyone.
I didn't.
Uh
You couldn't have summoned
me for my trial if you hadn't.
Well, you had to be corruptible,
not beyond corruption.
You know what? You must have
had some dark force inside you
when you touched the talisman.
There's no shame in it.
No, go on. Who pissed you off?
So I'm thinking just lure her down
to the basement on some pretense,
clock her on the stairwell, and
say she lost her step and fell.
Snap out of it. You can
deal with the kid out there.
Needs black shoes for a funeral.
They pulled her dad out of the canal.
I'd do it myself, but
she gives me the willies.
Well, she she
she's not in mourning.
Well, she's she's not not mourning.
Happy it's finished.
Sad he's dead. It
But it has finished.
You you spared her
another five years of it.
A lifetime of therapy,
but a lifetime, nonetheless.
She's a mum at 29. A nan at 57.
Eh?
I just thought you'd like to know.
It's a good fit.
And, of course, the final touch.
- Colin, really? You
- No, no, no, no, no.
- I insist. Too late.
- Very well.
Here we are in footwear.
This is Mr. Michael Smart.
You probably recognize him.
He's all set to be our next MP.
Well, with a little luck
and a following wind.
- His father and I were at school together.
- Fuck me.
He's been using my weekend
cottage as a base of operations.
You can tell he's ex-military.
Michael's got a big speech
tonight at the town hall.
I promised him a new suit and new shoes.
The finest that Possetts
has to offer. On the house.
I've told him he'll go out
of business at this rate.
Fuck me some more.
Well, I said I'd leave you in the hands
of our finest assistant, so, um
Vicky, if you could
take care of Michael.
Michael, enjoy Vicky's
more than capable hands.
- Hey, steady on there. Steady on.
- Won't you walk this way?
I'll walk however you want.
For Christ's sake, there's
boxes all over the floor.
Would you pick up your bloody mess?
I'm thinking car park later.
Wait till he comes
out. Reverse into him.
Pin him up against the wall.
Keep the pedal down till
you hear the stomach pop.
Eh? What do you think?
- I won't tell if you don't.
- What?
I hope I have your vote this week.
Afraid not. National Front for me.
Oh!
Why is that?
Don't like how things
are changing around here.
Mm.
My aunt, she's been
in Cheetham 20 years.
Now she's got them living either side.
That's what's next. We've
not got a pot to piss in,
so why should we share
with them who don't belong?
You think voting
National Front will help?
I think they'll stand up for us.
Says so right on the
front of their leaflet.
But they won't get elected.
- They might.
- They're too overt.
People feel it's, um,
bad manners.
You know why I don't
print "stop immigration"
in gigantic letters on
my campaign literature?
Because look at me.
Look at me!
You know what I stand for.
So,
do I have your vote?
Yes, sir.
Good girl.
So, who are you gonna
kill, your boss or Vicky?
You haven't got long.
What's his future? Michael Smart?
- Uh, it
- Can you show me his future?
- Yeah, but let's not
- Then show me right now.
Or I'll run out there,
confess to everything,
and then it's over,
and then you're fucked.
Show me.
16,472 votes.
Not just different, they're inferior.
expelled from the Tories,
Michael Smart launched
his new Britannia party.
The rivers of blood are here!
Reclaim your power.
The land is ours.
In a shock victory, Britain
has a new prime minister.
Fifth columnist traitors.
I've seen what's coming.
Rising seas, burning sky.
We are at war.
He's fucking Satan.
No, he's not one of ours, not literally.
I mean, they do like him. They're
fans of his work, you might say.
He's got to go.
- He's next.
- Oh, uh, they are not gonna like that.
Just avoid murderers. You
said that was the one rule.
Right, but he's responsible for an
impressive number of juicy deaths
Not yet he isn't.
Right, but he he
he beats his wife.
- Hasn't killed her, though, has he?
- I mean
I mean, he killed a dog
with a rock when he was 12.
Animals don't count. That was
one of the first things you said.
- Does Michael Smart qualify or not?
- Well, technically, yeah, but
Then I choose Michael Smart.
He's the one. That's that.
Honestly, they are not gonna like it.
But it's within the
rules, so they can lump it.
It's him
or no one.
I mean it.
Do you want to fail your initiation, hm?
He wants to try an 11.
Hurry up. It's gone closing time.
Stool's there. Do it yourself.
Uh
You've changed.
No sign of forced entry.
- Could've been a fight between 'em.
- Well, one hell of a fight.
Well, we know Keith
was no angel, for sure.
Hmm.
Did any of our lot turn that on?
I don't think so.
Keith Holligan? Aye,
he were in last night.
He's in most nights.
Anything unusual about him?
Well, he killed his wife.
I mean, last night. Was
he behaving differently?
Just his usual self, such as he is.
Sat on his perch dragging his
pints out. Left around closing time.
- Anyone follow him out?
- Not that I saw.
Well, thanks for your time, Bob.
There were one thing last night.
I mean, she didn't speak to Keith.
- Who didn't speak to Keith?
- This Indian lass. Never been in before.
Drank two triple scotches by herself.
We don't get many of 'em in
here, let alone ordering whiskey.
- Can you describe her?
- Yeah, Indian.
You mentioned that.
That's all that stood out.
Bit shorter than you, maybe.
Julie, did you see her?
Sat over there.
- Saw her talking to herself.
- Talking to herself?
Sort of muttering.
Seen her in town.
Works in shoes at Possetts.
Cheers, Bob.
After Smart's finished his
speech at the Town Hall,
he's got to head for the
cottage, which is here.
So whichever way he goes,
he's out in the country.
So I'm thinking I wait
outside the hall in the car.
I follow him along the
- What if he's not alone?
- Is he gonna be alone? You tell me.
- Well, yeah, but
- Well, then all I have to do is
Some people, eh?
I'm gonna paint over it.
Nida Huq?
Len Fisher, Tipley Police. I'm
just making some routine inquiries.
Do you mind if I have a word?
Yeah, sure.
I mean, yes.
Inside?
Invite him in, and then kill him.
Yeah.
- Would you like a cup of tea?
- Oh, no need. I won't keep you.
Well, like I say, it's just routine.
Okay.
Were you in the pub last
night? The Three Crowns?
Yeah, I was.
Regular, are you?
- I wouldn't say that.
- How often are you in there?
To be honest, last
night was the first time.
First time.
God, it's just it's just
around the corner, isn't it?
Well, I don't drink. Not usually.
But you did last night.
Yesterday was Mum's birthday.
She's not with us anymore.
You know, it's not
Not easy.
No.
And I'm not meant to drink.
I don't have it in the
house or anything, but
I'm not proud of myself.
I'm not here to judge.
We all need to let off
steam every now and then.
Thank you.
What's all this about anyway?
Well, you've probably heard
about Keith and Chris Holligan.
- Who?
- The Holligans. Keith and Chris.
I've not heard of them, I'm afraid.
Well, Keith was actually in
the Three Crowns last night.
Did you see him?
Maybe.
I wouldn't know him.
Well, I only ask because
Looks like you served him
at work a few days ago.
Did I?
Those are your initials, aren't they?
Must have served him, then.
We get so many in the door.
To be honest, by the end of the
day, I hardly recognize myself.
So, you didn't see him?
I certainly didn't notice him.
So sorry I wasn't more help.
Well, if anything does come
to you, please let us know.
Well, you're a total
fucking liar, in't ya?
I'm impressed.
- He didn't buy it though.
- Best hurry, then.
Smart will be finishing his speech.
That cop is following us.
It really would be an easy kill.
He was gonna have a heart
attack next year anyway.
It's not like he has any
family. No one's gonna miss him.
And together with the threat to freedom,
there is a sense of helplessness.
A sense that our once great nation
has fallen behind, lost its way,
lost its identity.
But it is not too late,
and we are not helpless.
This election may decide our fate.
Well, that fate is ours to decide.
So don't just hope for a better future.
Vote for one!
Fantastic. Fantastic.
Great night. Thank you.
Oh, thank Karen for the quiche.
- Hey, great speech. Good luck.
- Oh. Thank you.
- I've got a good feeling about this.
- I I do hope so.
Well, uh, off for my beauty sleep.
Oh, of course, yeah.
The bloody hell you up to, love?
Bollocks.
- It's not too late to find someone else.
- Oh, shut up!
I'm just saying it'd be much easier
for me if you found someone else
If you're not gonna help, then piss off.
I mean it.
Fine.
God's teeth!
Shit.
What the bloody hell are you doing?
Come on. Help me, then.
Please.
Please.
Police!
Stop!
I said stop!
Bloody animal. She's
trying to bloody kill me.
Put it down.
I have to do it.
It's not right.
You know it's not.
Are you a good man?
I don't know, love.
I hope so.
Put it down.
Love
Put it down.
If I don't do this by midnight,
there'll be war.
Fire
Fire everywhere.
Well
we'll deal with that if it comes to it.
Put it down.
I can't.
Gaap, I'm sorry.
Gaap!
- Come here.
- I'm sorry.
No, no, no.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Nida?
Nida?
You're saying you were
only targeting people
who've done something wrong?
Mm-hmm.
Um
except that man, um, Chris.
He just turned up.
And each time you sacrificed someone,
it got registered on the talisman?
Is that right?
But they said Keith didn't count.
Which wasn't fair.
This was in your jacket pocket.
This is a talisman, yeah?
It's gone normal now.
Before, it
before, it had shapes on it that
sort of changed when you looked at it.
And the demon who told
you to do all this,
he first spoke to you
through that talisman?
Just for a moment. I could
only hear him to start with.
- Then he was actually in the room.
- What did he look like?
Like a monster at first.
Then he turned into
the man from Boney M.
The man from Boney M?
Who does the dancing?
Okay.
- So, the man from Boney M tells you
- His name's Gaap.
Sorry, Gaap tells you
there'll be a nuclear war
if you don't kill three
people before May Day.
He didn't just tell me.
He showed me what it'd be like.
I felt the flames.
I smelled people burning.
Not long now.
I tried to stop it.
Honest, I did.
Her mind's gone, that's for sure.
Certainly what the lawyer will say.
Am I mad to feel sorry for her?
Suz, there's three men dead.
So, no matter how much sympathy
you might muster for
her personal situation,
there's families mourning.
You hear that?
Nida?
Evening, all.
I failed.
Yeah, well, me too, so that's that.
Just got word. They are casting
me out. Eternal oblivion.
I'm so sorry.
Do you wanna come with me?
What?
That's where I've been,
checking the small print.
The rules don't cover it.
There's another loophole, apparently.
They don't say anything
about a human companion.
So, I mean, you could come with.
Into eternal oblivion?
Oh no, it's much worse than that.
It's with me.
I'll give it a go.
Jesus Christ, they've done it.
Got a customer.
- I'm on my lunch.
- Yeah, I can smell that.
Mine's in five minutes, so if
I start with a customer now,
it cuts into my break.
That's Keith Holligan.
So?
So he murdered his wife.
Oh, it were manslaughter.
Judge said she drove him to it.
Don't seem like the
strangling type to me.
- Puffy hands.
- Surely, we don't have to serve him.
Everyone needs shoes, Nida.
How about doing your job?
I think I'm going to need the 11.
I'm large.
For my height.
- Sure you can't do a discount?
- I'm so sorry. No, we can't.
I'm just a bit strapped
till the end of the month.
I can put them aside for you.
Go on, then.
If you fancy writing down
your number, I won't mind.
Reckon he's into your sort.
Time and time and time again!
And so we've been treated to
this rather pathetic display
of a flailing government
holding on for dear life.
And it is thanks to Mr.
Callaghan's government limping on
that our nation has suffered
through a winter of discontent.
Now, they promise us a brighter future,
yet the fact remains
that Labour isn't working.
- He's a bit bloody young, in't he?
- He's good though.
They haven't just failed
nationally, but right here in Tipley.
You only have to look around to see it.
Rubbish in the streets.
Crime on the rise.
The character of your neighborhood
under threat.
Bloody right! We don't
wanna end up like Cheetham.
You hear what he said? He said, "We
don't wanna end up like Cheetham."
Of course, we all want
change, but the right kind.
So don't just hope for a better future.
Vote for one!
Thank you. Thank you very much.
As the election nears,
polls show Mrs. Thatcher's
Conservative Party
retains a commanding lead.
Violence erupts as the far-right
National Front march through Southall,
causing thousands in damage
with over 100 arrests and five
police officers hospitalized.
US and Soviet nuclear
non-proliferation talks hit
Down two places to number six,
"Does Your Mother Know" by ABBA.
A new entry at five for
Paul McCartney and Wings
with "Good Night Tonight."
And at number four right
now here in the studio
with their hit "Rasputin,"
it's Boney M.
There lived a certain
man in Russia long ago ♪
He was big and strong ♪
In his eyes, a flaming glow ♪
Most people looked at him
with terror and with fear ♪
But to Moscow chicks ♪
He was such a lovely dear ♪
Ra ra Rasputin ♪
Lover of the Russian queen ♪
There was a cat that really was gone ♪
Ra ra Rasputin ♪
Russia's greatest love machine ♪
It was a shame how he carried on ♪
You're dreaming if you
think you can pull that off.
Mr. Duncan wants a word.
So, Nida, it's nothing major,
but I understand you're in the habit
of eating your lunch in the stockroom.
- Oh
- It's fine.
Everybody does it. We
don't mind. But it's
it's what you're eating.
You see, most people's
food, um, normal food,
it doesn't tend to linger afterwards.
It's not really fair on your coworkers,
and there is a chance it could
well, it could get
into the shoe leather.
So, if you must eat in there,
maybe just bring in a sandwich.
Like a cheese and ham sandwich.
Or just a cheese sandwich, if you're
one of those that doesn't do ham.
- Of course, I'm sorry to have to ask
- I'll do sandwiches from now on.
You know, I think Vicky
will be very appreciative.
But as as will we all.
The thing is, I did
bring a biryani in today.
I see.
Well, um, it's How
about the basement?
- Yes! Yes, you could use the basement.
- The basement?
Mr. Possett himself used to work
down there in the early days.
He didn't like to be disturbed.
It couldn't be further
from civilization.
Thank you, Mr. Duncan.
Very good. Very good. Thank you, Nida.
What?
Hello, what do you want?
Just taking my lunch break.
Hmm.
Hmm?
Transuranic heavy elements
may not be used where there is life.
Medium atomic weights are available.
Gold, Lead, Copper.
Jet, Diamond, Radium,
Sapphire, Silver, and Steel.
Sapphire and steel have been assigned.
Hello.
So, where are they? Mum and Dad?
- Gone.
- Gone? Gone where?
Out of the door, downstairs?
Well, where, then?
Here in the room?
You mean they disappeared, Helen?
Uh, yeah, hi. So, my
name's Gaap. I'm a demon.
You anointed this
talisman with your blood,
so now we're bound together and
Bloody hell.
Look, I I've got a whole
introductory speech here.
We we gotta work together.
Can you pick me up?
Come on, pick me up.
Just just pick me up.
Please?
That's it. Come on. Come on.
I I I won't bite.
I promise. Come on.
Right. So, as I was saying,
you anointed the talisman,
and the rules are you've gotta
carry out three human sacrifices
over the next three days
or else the world's gonna end.
What?
If you want me to help you,
you need to permit me entry.
Uh
Dost thou permit me entry? Yes or no?
This isn't real.
You have to say "yes." Just
say the word "yes." Say it.
If you say "yes," I'll
I'll stop, okay? I'll go away.
You'll never hear from me again,
like this didn't happen.
Just say "yes." Say it.
Say it. Come on, say it. Say
it. Say it! Say it! Say it!
Yes!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on. What's the matter?
All right, I gotta be honest.
I lied about going away.
Uh, hang on. Is it is it these?
Yeah, yeah, sorry. My regular appearance
is probably a bit much for this realm.
Uh, just a sec.
This any better for ya?
I peered into your soul,
and apparently, this is a physical
look you find appealing, so
Maybe you saw this
recently and liked it?
I don't know. Let me have a look.
Wow.
Uh
Okay. Am I, like, a clown?
This how clowns dress
in your realm? I mean
I mean, I can I can
work with it, but
Uh
You have got to get over the
shock and just talk to me.
You know, we have got to work together.
I'm dreaming.
Dream You're really not, you know.
You're not real.
You're not real. You're
not real. You're not real.
Hiya. Like I said, we
have got to work together.
It's blood and bone. You marked the
talisman. I don't make the rules.
I mean, basically, we need to
deliver three sacrifices by Maymass
Uh, that's May Day to
you. Or else it's
Well, it's burning skies time.
I sense you need some convincing.
Uh
Let me show you how this
will play out, all right?
What'll happen if we
don't succeed. You ready?
Ready?
Three, two, one.
So, basically, this is the sort
of thing we're dealing with.
Scorching wall of flame.
It's agonizing death for all, and so on.
See, burning people, they do smell
like you'd expect, don't they?
Like a a burger on a griddle.
It's quite nice if you
disassociate from it.
Mind you, the charred hair
really gets stuck in your throat.
To be honest, I don't
want the apocalypse
to come about any more than you do.
So let's stop it happening, you and me.
All we have to do is deliver
three sacrifices in three days.
It's only three killings.
Like I said, animals don't
count. You have to do humans.
And there's gotta be a
cadence to it. One a day.
It's one kill a day. It it's
Wha what?
That is fewer people than
die falling off ladders
in the same time period.
You'd be less lethal than a ladder.
If I talk to you, you're real,
so I'm not gonna talk to you.
Well, we started conversing
already, so that ship has sailed.
- No, it hasn't.
- Oh, oh, yes, it has.
Uh, don't worry. We're a team.
I'm on your side here, you know?
Let's just get kill number one under
your belt. Start racking 'em up.
You can stop it because
I am not killing anyone.
so I don't know why
you keep talking to me!
That's what I'm here for.
All right? Moral support.
So just hold on to that
brick. Let's go thwack someone.
- What brick?
- The one in your hand, love.
I'm not doing what you say.
What's that, love?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, he's perfect.
There's no witnesses.
- Talk about beginner's luck.
- No.
One quick pop to the
head and you're done.
Please, make him stop.
Make who stop?
Love? Are you all right?
- I need a doctor.
- You want me to go and call one?
Would it help if I told you I
can see into this man's soul,
and he absolutely deserves to die?
- Shut up!
- He's got a daughter.
Her name's Laura. She's eight years old.
Do you wanna know what
he does to her? To Laura?
- No, I don't wanna know.
- Sorry, love. I don't follow.
He pays Laura a little
nighttime visit
Shut up!
Is everything okay?
Do you wanna know how the bastard
makes her feel? Get a load of this.
She kills herself, aged 28, exhausted
by the pain and the shame of it.
Maybe put that down.
Yeah, it does take some getting
used to, I'll grant you that.
But a couple more of those
and I'll be out of your hair.
Look, hang on.
Uh Yeah, yeah. Look,
see? One line gone.
That's one sacrifice
registered. Two to go.
You've got a whole day
to pick the next one.
Oh, come on. You
You forgot to flush.
Oof. Fuck me.
Sorry to disturb you, sir.
- What is it, Suz?
- A missing person.
Boy or girl?
A 39-year-old man.
A Tim Simons.
No, don't know him.
His wife said he didn't
come home last night.
Yeah, because he's on the piss.
It's not even 24 hours yet.
I know, but, sir, the thing is, she
says his dog came home without him.
I suppose we stopped taking
pictures of each other.
Here.
That's him.
He he never stays out. He
Something's happened. I know it.
We don't know anything's
happened at all.
Hello.
Who's this?
It's okay.
It's okay, Laura.
This man and this lady are
going to help find Daddy.
Worried sick, aren't you, love?
How long are you just
gonna sit there for?
You're late for work. You have to go in.
You can't have people
getting suspicious.
I mean it. If you don't turn up
Fucking shut up!
I killed a man.
- I've killed someone.
- Yeah, that was hours ago.
I keep feeling the crack
of his skull on the brick.
I did that.
It's your fault.
You're not even
I'm crazy.
I'm a crazy person.
They said Mum was mad.
They'll say it about me.
But this time, they'll be right.
They'll be totally bloody right.
Hey, look, look. You're not crazy.
I'm a murderer.
Yeah, but you're not a crazy one.
Why is this happening?
Look.
This is actually my first assignment.
It's more of an initiation,
really. Sort of earning my wings.
I mean, I'm new to this too.
I'm not a bad person.
Oh no. No. It wouldn't work if you were.
It has to be someone corruptible.
So, I mean, if you think about
it, what's happening here,
it actually reflects really
well on your character.
Huh?
Yeah.
What what are you doing?
- Calling the police.
- What? Why?
- Why?
- So they'll arrest me.
But then you won't be able
to do the other sacrifices.
Good!
Then the apocalypse will
happen, and billions will die.
I mean, I know. I get it.
You don't want the blood of
three victims on your hands,
but if it saves billions
Hello, emergency services.
What service do you require?
Hello?
Hello? Is anyone there
See? You you are a good person.
What do I do?
Just carry on as usual so
the normals don't get spooked,
which means going to work.
And while you're there, we
can decide who to kill next.
Hello.
What's this?
You were supposed to be in at 9:00.
I threw up this morning.
I thought I might be ill.
Oh, don't come near me.
I don't want your germs.
You look awful.
Well, she's nice.
Front-runner for the old I think.
Uh, she does steal
from the till, you know.
- Gotta pick someone!
- Sh!
God, I I do love a
little old lady. Hey
Oh, isn't she sweet?
She can't stop thinking
about the end though.
They can't wait for it to come.
You'd be doing her a favor.
Shut up.
- What was that, love?
- Nothing.
- She dreams of death. Even now
- How are those for you?
I think they're good. I'll
just go and have a little look.
Just do it. No one will miss her.
No, shut up.
She's nearly dead already.
Very nice.
Sir?
- Sir?
- Yeah?
They said you're in here.
That was nice of 'em.
- Can it wait?
- It's Tim Simons.
Oh aye. Turned up, has he?
He has, sir, but he's dead.
Someone's clobbered him, sir.
So they have.
So, come on. What time do you finish?
Depends what time you wanna start.
Maybe I won't wanna stop.
And maybe I won't wanna stop you.
How about this handsome fucker, eh?
God's gift till he loses his hair at 32
and spends the next 29 years
taking it out on his missus.
- Stop showing me this stuff.
- His missus won't be her.
She never marries. Very sad.
Well, well, look.
It's half-five already.
You gotta get the next
one in by midnight.
You have to pick someone.
On your last trip, did you
discover what the Earth people eat?
They eat a great many of these.
They peel them with their metal knives.
Boil them for 20 of their minutes.
For fuck's sake.
- Do you want the apocalypse to happen?
- You're in the way.
They are clearly a
most primitive people.
Nuclear tensions rise
as talks break down
and US and Soviet jets
I was watching that.
Both superpowers possess a
growing arsenal of atomic weaponry,
yet given the horrific devastation
any nuclear exchange would cause,
it's assumed the policy
You see that?
It's manifesting.
Do you understand? This is the
form it's taking. This is real.
You don't have much time.
You're the only one who can stop it.
No. No.
Don't take the piss, Nida.
No, you're not you're
not a knife person.
- Way too grabby. Cut your hands all up.
- Yeah.
Oh, I know. I know. Down there.
Yes.
That's you. You're a basher.
Come on, you've had the practice
now. It'll be way easier this time.
Dutch courage, eh? That's what you
need. Where do you keep your booze?
I don't drink.
Yeah, shit, yeah.
Uh
Well, do you want a drink?
Tell me why ♪
I don't like Mondays ♪
Tell me why ♪
I don't like Mondays ♪
Tell me why ♪
I don't like Mondays ♪
I wanna shoot ♪
The whole day down ♪
She totally blanked you, huh?
What about her?
- You know?
- You waiting, love?
I'll have
Triple scotch, please.
Easy, you still got work to do.
You want ice with that?
Do people have it with ice?
Generally.
Okay, then.
Actually, make it two
triple scotches. Thank you.
- You don't have to get one for me.
- I didn't.
Tell me why ♪
- I don't like Mondays ♪
- Tell me why ♪
Right, let's get cracking.
You see anyone tasty?
Oh, oh, all right. You
see him? He's perfect.
Piece of work, that one.
String of burglaries.
Mostly targets the elderly.
What do you reckon?
- No?
- Mm-mm.
Okay. Uh
Ah! You see you
see her with the pints?
She went on holiday
when she was 12 years old
and saw her sister
drown in a swimming pool.
She could've pulled her out, but
she just stood there and watched.
Fucking hell.
You could be making this up.
Ah! Okay, you see him?
About three years ago,
he thought his wife was
cheating on him. So, he
Strangled her in the bath.
Are you familiar with his work?
Keith Holligan.
It's funny. It wasn't premeditated,
but he did have a hard-on
when he did it, so
I think we have a contender.
Well, he can't have got far. Come on.
Perfect location. Ain't no witnesses.
You should rush him.
Now, come on!
Did you just follow me from the pub?
You're a dark horse, aren't you?
I've read about girls like you.
- I'm just around the corner.
- You know what? Home turf. Even better.
Come on.
Not much sense in being shy now.
Looks like he wipes
his arse with his house.
Um
Do you want to do it here or
Um
May maybe bedroom's better?
- I think the bedroom.
- Bedroom, right.
Come on.
Don't be frightened.
It's almost midnight.
You're cutting it fine.
- Shut the fuck up, you.
- What was that?
Can't wait to fuck you.
Fucking hell.
Sorry, it's a bit
Sorry.
What are you doing? Just fucking do it.
It's only a heartbeat away ♪
When I need love ♪
I hold out my hands ♪
And I touch love ♪
I never knew there was so much love ♪
Keeping me warm night and day ♪
Tell you what. You get comfy.
I'll just go have a
wash down there first.
Mm-hmm.
A telephone can't take
the place of your smile ♪
But you know I won't
be traveling forever ♪
It's cold out, but hold out ♪
Won't be a minute.
When I need you ♪
I just close my eyes ♪
And I'm with you ♪
Not actually gonna shag him, are you?
I was I was just checking.
I was just checking
Uh, it is 11:54, six minutes
left, since you asked, so
Just fucking come on!
It's not easy when
the road is your driver ♪
Honey, that's a heavy
load that we bear ♪
But you know I won't
be traveling a lifetime ♪
It's cold out, but hold out ♪
And do like I do ♪
Oh, I need you ♪
You're gonna hit me with that.
Okay, then.
I always knew something would happen.
Ever since I did it,
I've had
dreams.
This is what I deserve.
I honestly did love her.
I think.
I wasn't a bad husband. I just
Yes!
Ah, even with four minutes to spare.
Well, you can't have that lying around.
Get out before he sees ya.
Sh.
Keith?
Who are you?
No, no witnesses. He's gotta go.
- Get out!
- I can't kill another one.
- Stay there.
- He's seen you. You have to.
Get out of my house!
Get away!
Do it! It's him or you.
Please, please, please.
Just get out of here.
Please, please
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Come on, let's go.
Who was he?
That'd be Keith's brother, Chris.
What was he like?
You know stuff.
Was he a good person or a bad person?
He was
ordinary.
I know. I know. I know.
It's not what you wanna
hear, but, you know
what's done is done.
And on the plus side,
you scored two tonight.
That one a day is just a minimum,
but two does get you over the line.
You done it.
Hey, look.
See, it, um
It
Just just two secs.
Hi there. Gaap of Misophaes.
Yeah.
Yeah, so, uh, I've got
a talisman circa 1926,
but the rune face just failed to
register one of the sacrifices.
Yeah, two kills, but
only one's been recorded.
Right.
Um, I mean, yeah, but
What? We we
What, we can't just
No.
Yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it.
- Keith didn't count.
- What?
- Why?
- He's a murderer.
Makes him ineligible.
That's what they're saying.
But we've been picking
people who deserve it.
You're not strictly supposed
to do it that way. I just
I thought you'd find it easier.
I mean, the first bloke,
the one by the canal,
they're giving us that one
'cause he's never actually
killed anybody, but
What about what he did to his daughter?
You said she kills herself
at 28, thanks to him.
Yeah, but that's in the future.
I'm sorry.
Look, basically, anyone who's
already been directly responsible
for the death of another human
being, they're off-limits.
Once that's happened, as
far as my boss is concerned,
they're playing for the home team.
You know, we're actually lucky
that Keith's brother turned
up just before midnight.
It would've been Armageddon otherwise.
Look, you did well.
Oh, absolutely go fuck yourself!
Right up a tree!
- This is all right for you.
- It isn't.
No blood on your hands.
You're just watching.
Light entertainment.
If the apocalypse does come,
you'll have a big fun finale.
- That'd be upending the whole place
- It's frowned upon. You get told off.
If I fail my initiation
Kicked out of demon school? Boo-hoo.
- More like cast out.
- Whatever.
Cast out into a boundless, cosmic void.
And doomed to spend eternity in
a vacuum of infinite nothingness.
Absence of matter, of time,
of space, light, and sound.
I would endure a profound, palpable,
and ever-present lack of existence,
alone in perpetuity,
forever more.
Sounds like my life.
To be honest, I'm scared.
So one more victim, then.
Yeah, only thing for it.
- I can't be doing a total innocent.
- It's just murderers we have to avoid.
You mean people like me.
My whole life, I never
wished harm on anyone.
I didn't.
Uh
You couldn't have summoned
me for my trial if you hadn't.
Well, you had to be corruptible,
not beyond corruption.
You know what? You must have
had some dark force inside you
when you touched the talisman.
There's no shame in it.
No, go on. Who pissed you off?
So I'm thinking just lure her down
to the basement on some pretense,
clock her on the stairwell, and
say she lost her step and fell.
Snap out of it. You can
deal with the kid out there.
Needs black shoes for a funeral.
They pulled her dad out of the canal.
I'd do it myself, but
she gives me the willies.
Well, she she
she's not in mourning.
Well, she's she's not not mourning.
Happy it's finished.
Sad he's dead. It
But it has finished.
You you spared her
another five years of it.
A lifetime of therapy,
but a lifetime, nonetheless.
She's a mum at 29. A nan at 57.
Eh?
I just thought you'd like to know.
It's a good fit.
And, of course, the final touch.
- Colin, really? You
- No, no, no, no, no.
- I insist. Too late.
- Very well.
Here we are in footwear.
This is Mr. Michael Smart.
You probably recognize him.
He's all set to be our next MP.
Well, with a little luck
and a following wind.
- His father and I were at school together.
- Fuck me.
He's been using my weekend
cottage as a base of operations.
You can tell he's ex-military.
Michael's got a big speech
tonight at the town hall.
I promised him a new suit and new shoes.
The finest that Possetts
has to offer. On the house.
I've told him he'll go out
of business at this rate.
Fuck me some more.
Well, I said I'd leave you in the hands
of our finest assistant, so, um
Vicky, if you could
take care of Michael.
Michael, enjoy Vicky's
more than capable hands.
- Hey, steady on there. Steady on.
- Won't you walk this way?
I'll walk however you want.
For Christ's sake, there's
boxes all over the floor.
Would you pick up your bloody mess?
I'm thinking car park later.
Wait till he comes
out. Reverse into him.
Pin him up against the wall.
Keep the pedal down till
you hear the stomach pop.
Eh? What do you think?
- I won't tell if you don't.
- What?
I hope I have your vote this week.
Afraid not. National Front for me.
Oh!
Why is that?
Don't like how things
are changing around here.
Mm.
My aunt, she's been
in Cheetham 20 years.
Now she's got them living either side.
That's what's next. We've
not got a pot to piss in,
so why should we share
with them who don't belong?
You think voting
National Front will help?
I think they'll stand up for us.
Says so right on the
front of their leaflet.
But they won't get elected.
- They might.
- They're too overt.
People feel it's, um,
bad manners.
You know why I don't
print "stop immigration"
in gigantic letters on
my campaign literature?
Because look at me.
Look at me!
You know what I stand for.
So,
do I have your vote?
Yes, sir.
Good girl.
So, who are you gonna
kill, your boss or Vicky?
You haven't got long.
What's his future? Michael Smart?
- Uh, it
- Can you show me his future?
- Yeah, but let's not
- Then show me right now.
Or I'll run out there,
confess to everything,
and then it's over,
and then you're fucked.
Show me.
16,472 votes.
Not just different, they're inferior.
expelled from the Tories,
Michael Smart launched
his new Britannia party.
The rivers of blood are here!
Reclaim your power.
The land is ours.
In a shock victory, Britain
has a new prime minister.
Fifth columnist traitors.
I've seen what's coming.
Rising seas, burning sky.
We are at war.
He's fucking Satan.
No, he's not one of ours, not literally.
I mean, they do like him. They're
fans of his work, you might say.
He's got to go.
- He's next.
- Oh, uh, they are not gonna like that.
Just avoid murderers. You
said that was the one rule.
Right, but he's responsible for an
impressive number of juicy deaths
Not yet he isn't.
Right, but he he
he beats his wife.
- Hasn't killed her, though, has he?
- I mean
I mean, he killed a dog
with a rock when he was 12.
Animals don't count. That was
one of the first things you said.
- Does Michael Smart qualify or not?
- Well, technically, yeah, but
Then I choose Michael Smart.
He's the one. That's that.
Honestly, they are not gonna like it.
But it's within the
rules, so they can lump it.
It's him
or no one.
I mean it.
Do you want to fail your initiation, hm?
He wants to try an 11.
Hurry up. It's gone closing time.
Stool's there. Do it yourself.
Uh
You've changed.
No sign of forced entry.
- Could've been a fight between 'em.
- Well, one hell of a fight.
Well, we know Keith
was no angel, for sure.
Hmm.
Did any of our lot turn that on?
I don't think so.
Keith Holligan? Aye,
he were in last night.
He's in most nights.
Anything unusual about him?
Well, he killed his wife.
I mean, last night. Was
he behaving differently?
Just his usual self, such as he is.
Sat on his perch dragging his
pints out. Left around closing time.
- Anyone follow him out?
- Not that I saw.
Well, thanks for your time, Bob.
There were one thing last night.
I mean, she didn't speak to Keith.
- Who didn't speak to Keith?
- This Indian lass. Never been in before.
Drank two triple scotches by herself.
We don't get many of 'em in
here, let alone ordering whiskey.
- Can you describe her?
- Yeah, Indian.
You mentioned that.
That's all that stood out.
Bit shorter than you, maybe.
Julie, did you see her?
Sat over there.
- Saw her talking to herself.
- Talking to herself?
Sort of muttering.
Seen her in town.
Works in shoes at Possetts.
Cheers, Bob.
After Smart's finished his
speech at the Town Hall,
he's got to head for the
cottage, which is here.
So whichever way he goes,
he's out in the country.
So I'm thinking I wait
outside the hall in the car.
I follow him along the
- What if he's not alone?
- Is he gonna be alone? You tell me.
- Well, yeah, but
- Well, then all I have to do is
Some people, eh?
I'm gonna paint over it.
Nida Huq?
Len Fisher, Tipley Police. I'm
just making some routine inquiries.
Do you mind if I have a word?
Yeah, sure.
I mean, yes.
Inside?
Invite him in, and then kill him.
Yeah.
- Would you like a cup of tea?
- Oh, no need. I won't keep you.
Well, like I say, it's just routine.
Okay.
Were you in the pub last
night? The Three Crowns?
Yeah, I was.
Regular, are you?
- I wouldn't say that.
- How often are you in there?
To be honest, last
night was the first time.
First time.
God, it's just it's just
around the corner, isn't it?
Well, I don't drink. Not usually.
But you did last night.
Yesterday was Mum's birthday.
She's not with us anymore.
You know, it's not
Not easy.
No.
And I'm not meant to drink.
I don't have it in the
house or anything, but
I'm not proud of myself.
I'm not here to judge.
We all need to let off
steam every now and then.
Thank you.
What's all this about anyway?
Well, you've probably heard
about Keith and Chris Holligan.
- Who?
- The Holligans. Keith and Chris.
I've not heard of them, I'm afraid.
Well, Keith was actually in
the Three Crowns last night.
Did you see him?
Maybe.
I wouldn't know him.
Well, I only ask because
Looks like you served him
at work a few days ago.
Did I?
Those are your initials, aren't they?
Must have served him, then.
We get so many in the door.
To be honest, by the end of the
day, I hardly recognize myself.
So, you didn't see him?
I certainly didn't notice him.
So sorry I wasn't more help.
Well, if anything does come
to you, please let us know.
Well, you're a total
fucking liar, in't ya?
I'm impressed.
- He didn't buy it though.
- Best hurry, then.
Smart will be finishing his speech.
That cop is following us.
It really would be an easy kill.
He was gonna have a heart
attack next year anyway.
It's not like he has any
family. No one's gonna miss him.
And together with the threat to freedom,
there is a sense of helplessness.
A sense that our once great nation
has fallen behind, lost its way,
lost its identity.
But it is not too late,
and we are not helpless.
This election may decide our fate.
Well, that fate is ours to decide.
So don't just hope for a better future.
Vote for one!
Fantastic. Fantastic.
Great night. Thank you.
Oh, thank Karen for the quiche.
- Hey, great speech. Good luck.
- Oh. Thank you.
- I've got a good feeling about this.
- I I do hope so.
Well, uh, off for my beauty sleep.
Oh, of course, yeah.
The bloody hell you up to, love?
Bollocks.
- It's not too late to find someone else.
- Oh, shut up!
I'm just saying it'd be much easier
for me if you found someone else
If you're not gonna help, then piss off.
I mean it.
Fine.
God's teeth!
Shit.
What the bloody hell are you doing?
Come on. Help me, then.
Please.
Please.
Police!
Stop!
I said stop!
Bloody animal. She's
trying to bloody kill me.
Put it down.
I have to do it.
It's not right.
You know it's not.
Are you a good man?
I don't know, love.
I hope so.
Put it down.
Love
Put it down.
If I don't do this by midnight,
there'll be war.
Fire
Fire everywhere.
Well
we'll deal with that if it comes to it.
Put it down.
I can't.
Gaap, I'm sorry.
Gaap!
- Come here.
- I'm sorry.
No, no, no.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Nida?
Nida?
You're saying you were
only targeting people
who've done something wrong?
Mm-hmm.
Um
except that man, um, Chris.
He just turned up.
And each time you sacrificed someone,
it got registered on the talisman?
Is that right?
But they said Keith didn't count.
Which wasn't fair.
This was in your jacket pocket.
This is a talisman, yeah?
It's gone normal now.
Before, it
before, it had shapes on it that
sort of changed when you looked at it.
And the demon who told
you to do all this,
he first spoke to you
through that talisman?
Just for a moment. I could
only hear him to start with.
- Then he was actually in the room.
- What did he look like?
Like a monster at first.
Then he turned into
the man from Boney M.
The man from Boney M?
Who does the dancing?
Okay.
- So, the man from Boney M tells you
- His name's Gaap.
Sorry, Gaap tells you
there'll be a nuclear war
if you don't kill three
people before May Day.
He didn't just tell me.
He showed me what it'd be like.
I felt the flames.
I smelled people burning.
Not long now.
I tried to stop it.
Honest, I did.
Her mind's gone, that's for sure.
Certainly what the lawyer will say.
Am I mad to feel sorry for her?
Suz, there's three men dead.
So, no matter how much sympathy
you might muster for
her personal situation,
there's families mourning.
You hear that?
Nida?
Evening, all.
I failed.
Yeah, well, me too, so that's that.
Just got word. They are casting
me out. Eternal oblivion.
I'm so sorry.
Do you wanna come with me?
What?
That's where I've been,
checking the small print.
The rules don't cover it.
There's another loophole, apparently.
They don't say anything
about a human companion.
So, I mean, you could come with.
Into eternal oblivion?
Oh no, it's much worse than that.
It's with me.
I'll give it a go.
Jesus Christ, they've done it.